Journalist, pianist, you name it. I do not give half stars.
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Don't Worry Darling 2022
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I couldn’t watch this when it first came out because of all the laughable Hollywood drama. But now I finally did, and thankfully no one was spat on, despite the reports.
Hey, it was shallow but fine. The cinematography and production design were nice to look at, although a little clinical, like a 1960s themed party with Don Draper and Joan Holloway costumes. Maybe these ”elevated” visual choices served the virtual reality storyline, and authenticity wasn’t even the goal.
Anyway, I’m…
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Blink Twice 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Luxury vacay with bikinis and Bollinger turns into a sadistic rape fest.
But the violated heroine turns into a #bosslady in the end, by drugging the bad dude – just like he did to her, but without sexual violence – so she kind of… wins? (This is the logic of a superhero movie where no judiciary is ever needed.) Now she’s in control, douchebag, with all this money and influence! She ain’t no nail artist no more! Maybe the film wanted to…
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Elizabethtown 2005
The naiveté here is astounding. It’s also flat as flat earthers earth. Orlando Bloom seems lost, but Kirsten Dunst is delightful, as she usually is.
I was twenty years young when Elisabethtown arrived in cinemas. I had liked Almost Famous and Vanilla Sky, and I really wanted to dig Cameron Crowe’s newest film. It has good cinematography, some pretty cool Americana aesthetics, and, of course, a cornucopia of pop songs. Many of them by Ryan Adams.
Elisabethtown wants to tackle big…
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V/H/S 2012
V/H/S has kind of a good premise: Bunch of troublemaker dudes find random VHS tapes that have weird and gory stuff in them that some unknown people have filmed with lo-fi videocameras. This means that all of the tapes have a first-person perspective, and we’re always only able to see what the camera has recorded. Sometimes there are jumps between events and scenes, so the viewer has to fill in the gaps with their imagination.
Disappointingly, the film ends up offering…
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