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Wonka 2023
here we are in the modern age of twink cinema. a sickly looking beautiful white male who looks half victorian child and half adult man plays a younger version of the classic character we all know from the vast amount of primary school children who go as him for world book day across the uk. brilliant supporting cast (apart from hugh grant who gave absolutely nothing) and an enjoyable plot with catchy songs. however, i do feel as though i…
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Five Nights at Freddy's 2023
this film was the downfall of humanity. the original lore was absolutely ignored and now ‘whistle’ has been stuck in my head for months. matthew lillard was giving the whole time though.
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The Batman 2022
selina serves cunt. young eyeliner wearing emo bruce wayne was camp in the best way. good film but went on forever. managed to go for a piss, walked the dog, bought an house, had a wife and kids then retired…and by the time i’d come back there was still two hours to go.
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Scooby-Doo 2002
one of the best films in modern cinema. this adaptation of the classic beloved children’s cartoon serves the most cunt i have ever seen.
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