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Speed Racer 2008
It’s like an 11-year-old chugged 3 gallons of extra sweet Kool-Aid and then described what they assumed to be the plot of The Fast and the Furious while Spy Kids 3D plays in the background.
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Yu-Gi-Oh!: Bonds Beyond Time 2010
Finally, some good fucking Kino.
Lost a couple stars due to a severe lack of Egyptian God Cards.
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Léon: The Professional 1994
An interesting concept with quite possibly the only child actor who could have taken on the moral dilemma of becoming a ‘cleaner’ at 12 years old that is just completely and utterly ruined by Luc Besson’s pedophilic fantasy about why it was okay for him to marry the 16 year old girl he met four years prior.
Natalie Portman deserved better.
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Spider-Man 2 2004
“I must rebuild my machine… I know, I’ll steal money so I can buy the parts!”
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