+1 star for: “you’re a middle ass person” the second hand burn actually killed me 😭
+1 star for: the dina simone montage, probs the most fun i had during the movie
+.5 stars for: john malkovich! he truly ate the “if hannibal lecter was lowkey dumb but also elvis” role, i enjoyed him very much
honorable mention to ayo edebiri in that gorgeous yellow dress
+1 star for: the iris reveal. i gasped!
+1 star for: the patrick reveal. I SCREAMED
+1 star for: iris rocking up carrie style was SO fucking good
+1 star for: beep boop 😭😭😭 SO EVIL
+1 star for: “100% intelligence is comparable to an ivy grad” OH??? 🙂↕️🤭😗
-0.5 stars for: ejaculation jump scare
+2 stars for: murder husbands!!! phillip was a hot mess but their whole dynamic was excellent
+1 star for: “did he do me justice?” “do you deserve justice?” GAGGED HER ASS
-1 star for: horoscope foreshadowing
+1 star for: the D.K. hat reveal I WAS SHAKING AND YELLING ‘LOOK DOWN’
+1 star for: fucking amazing camera work (aside from the long ass back shots 😏) i loved how it felt like a play!
+2 star for: HUGH JACKMAN ABS YES LAWD
+1 star for: now you see me but with higher stakes and less fun micheal caine trickery
+1 stars for: killing yourself in your man’s work place to change the course of his life forever
+1 star for: the double diary uno reverse
-1 star for: the shoddy accents
-0.5 stars for: no christian bale abs
(if i had a nickel for every christopher nolan film staring christian bale and micheal caine where one of them is named alfred id have two nickels… weird that it happened twice tho)
