Favorite films

Recent reviews

• 

  Captain America: Brave New World 2025

  ★½ Added

  Sweet fancy Moses this sucked

• 

  Venom: The Last Dance 2024

  ★½ Added

  The family of the late Jerry Krause is still not over the bullying and emotional abuse Jerry received at the hands of Michael Jordan and other members of the iconic Chicago Bulls teams from the 90s. God damn this movie sucked.

Popular reviews

• 

  Taking Venice 2023

  ★★½ Added

  Finally a movie that answers the age-old question: what if we made a film that looks like a Netflix true crime documentary and marketed it on the premise that the United States government rigged the 1964 Vienna biennale in order to win the "cultural cold war," offered zero proof this occurred, ignored entire swaths of the history of abstract expressionism in America, and surprise the entire motion picture is actually a trojan horse that protects and further entrenches the legacy of Robert Rauschenberg, which is unwittingly an astounding metaphor for what the film itself purports to be about and somehow isn't.

• 

  The Thomas Crown Affair 1999

  ★★½ Added

  Finally a movie that answers the age-old question: what if we got buck naked and fucked on a rock-hard marble staircase, you poured vodka in my eyes, then I took you to the boneyard again on top of a desk covered in thick-spine'd paperback books. The Bill Conti soundtrack is so incoherent it's like the movie is suffering from early onset dementia.