changing reviews retroactively to maintain the integrity of my left-skewed distribution curve
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The Substance 2024
take your meds, kids!
you truly can always get uglier.
great cinematography, makes up for the surface-level commentary. would’ve been a great nod to 2001 at the end if Barbie hadn’t done it first last year. ending became comic. still a good movie but doesn’t really say or do much beyond the initial “schtick”
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The Count of Monte Cristo 2002
MY FAULT FOR WATCHING THIS RIGHT AFTER THE BOOK. but the real unforgivable crime was having to sit through this GARBAGE. way to completely miss the point!! i would rather pull each of my hairs out one by one and step on legos for the rest of my life than ever have to subject myself to this absolute defilement and desecration of Alexandre Dumas again. this is like if someone read the sparknotes FULL BOOK SUMMARY (NOT even the chapter…
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