I hate horror movies. Why? Because I’m just not tough enough for them.
But, if you offer me an evening of the wonderfully excessive cinematic absurdity that the 1980s churned out, where:
A/ A gang of punks—led by a guy named Ripper—snort coke straight from a Coke can.
B/ A dubbed blonde Italian dude rides a motorcycle through a theater, slicing demons to bits with a samurai sword.
… and that I’d be watching all of this with a huge,…