The Anthony Bourdain of movie reviews
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Gladiator II 2024
i cannot speak on the actual plot value of this movie because i haven’t seen the first one (and I have no desire to) but from what i’ve from heard others it lowkey makes no sense, so there’s that.
It was a typical man movie… hot boys in lil outfits, strong action sequences etc, etc. A level of holier than though self righteousness that needs to be studied under a microscope!
Also i think Denzel Washington could read the nutritional…
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Nosferatu 2024
CINEMA IS SO BACK- the use of black/white in this film was simply delicious!
nicholas holt is DOUBLE PLATINUM in this house and is the THE shining performance in this film.
AND YEA I AM AN ORLOCK APOLOGIST bc i too would a haunt a depressed victorian baddie if she woke me up from the most perfect everlasting slumber with her whining!
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The Substance 2024
Picture The Thing™️ (1982) but make it cunty ✨
10/10 body horror- when you can’t look away but your also hiding behind your hands
the balance between cgi and practical effects/sfx make-up was gorgeous 💞
MAKE FILMS TECHNI-COLOR AGAIN!
to be a woman is to suffer and body dysmorphia is a bitch!
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