Just a 30-something weirdo from upstate New York who loves movies and TV.
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllRecent reviews
More-
Super Mario Bros. 1993
Even over thirty years later, 1993's Super Mario Bros. remains one of the most fascinating case studies in "missing the point" to have ever emerged from a major studio film. A film that is such a bizarre misfire that it's kind of fun and entertaining to watch for just how aggressively weird and "wrong" it is.
By the time the movie came out, the Super Mario franchise had been well-established with over fifty game appearances for the character (either in…
Translated from by -
The Substance 2024
There comes a certain point later in The Substance where director Coralie Fargeat has stuck the camera so close and so far up Margaret Qualley's booty in tight spandex so many times that I actually almost wanted to reach for my phone. I was so engrossed in the story, only for it to throw ass in my face for probably the hundredth time.
And yet, I couldn't help but pause and ask myself if it was intentional... especially by that…
Translated from by
Popular reviews
More-
Persona 2000
It's like a movie written by and for every cringey late-90s/early-2000's high-school kid who listened to Korn and wrote shitty poetry in their notebooks.
I know because I was one of those kids, and I probably would have called this movie "totally deep, dude" if I watched it back then.
Translated from by -
Unfrosted 2024
The great irony of Unfrosted is that for all of Jerry Seinfeld’s recent rants and raves about the state of modern comedy, his own feature-length directorial debut is not only one of the most shockingly unfunny comedies in recent memory... but it very well may be one of the worst films of 2024.
Glass houses, Jerry. Glass houses.
A bizarrely uneven sense of pace and tone, shockingly bad visual direction and a non-stop onslaught of awful dad-jokes unfortunately take Unfrosted’s…
Translated from by
