I just watch movies like a normal person and not you pretentious movie critic pricks.
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Killer Bean Forever 2008
Fucking fantastic. I know you absent minded short attention spanned degenerates on this app won’t understand the appeal of this movie. A single man created this entire movie. You dickwads could never pull your 3 brain cells together to create anything more than a woke liberal Instagram post. This movie has everything (except for women, which I quite enjoy), and it was someone’s fun weekend project. I loved watching a coffee bean jump around and senselessly murder everything in his way. It was fantastic. Stop being a sack of disappointment and just enjoy some extreme bean violence. Is it that hard.
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Top Gun: Maverick 2022
I thought this movie was going to be a sorry cash grab on the glorious movie it follows up. I was wrong. This movie is a better movie than the original in so many ways. The characters are more interesting, plot longer and deeper, and visuals simply stunning. However, this movie does not give me the same lust for testosterone, aggressions, and armament the original movie does. I did not leave the theater ready to sell my body and mind…
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Eternals 2021
I would have rather spent over 2.5 hours waiting in line at the proctologists office than watching this lousy wank of a movie. At least after my wait at the doctors I would have a bit of excitement and fun to look forward to. The only thing at the end of this movie that stuck out even a little bit was that wank Harry styles rearing his ugly head at the conclusion. That only pissed me off more. At least at the end of my doctors visit I’d get a wonderful conclusion whether the doc likes it or not.
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