“Let us hold out together for the sake of movies.”
-Akira Kurosawa
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllPinned reviews
More-
Challengers 2024
I would like to go to the Tashi Station to pick up some power converters, if you know what I’m saying.*
*What I’m saying is I think Zendaya, who plays a character named Tashi, is very pretty, and I think it’d be swell if she gave me a little kiss on the cheek. This is also a play on a line from the 1977 film Star Wars. It’s a little joke, you see. Just havin’ some fun on the Internet.
Translated from by -
Night Swim 2024
PITCHING A HORROR MOVIE IN THE 2020s
Studio Exec 1: I’ve got the perfect gimmick for a horror movie: a swimming pool that kills you!
Studio Exec 2: Hmmm… yes, that could work. Any other dramatic angle?
Exec 1: Well, it’s gonna be about trauma, obviously. I shouldn’t even have to say that.
Exec 2: Ah, so you the swimming pool will serve as some sort of metaphor?
Exec 1: What? No, don’t be stupid. The swimming pool is a…
Translated from by
Recent reviews
More-
The Color Purple 1985
Yes, it’s aggressively sentimental and melodramatic, and yes, it probably should’ve been made by someone else, but this just works on me, dude. I loved the book when I read it during lockdown—spiritually revelatory. Thought that maybe the film would fall in my estimation if I returned to it after reading the book. NOPE!
Translated from by -
The Spy Who Loved Me 1977
This doesn’t completely work for me, but after the last two Moore entries, it’s pretty refreshing how much this actually feels like a Bond movie, instead of a cash-grab pastiche of the in-vogue film genre of its time. This is the first time Moore’s take on Bond felt right to me, but that might be more on the direction than the performance.
Translated from by
Popular reviews
More-
The Holdovers 2023
Delightful and cozy. Heartwarming without being saccharine. The movie equivalent of a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. The opposite of penis cancer.
Translated from by -
Cocaine Bear 2023
One of the more awkward moviegoing experiences of my life, mostly because—thanks to the now-standard policy of reserved seating in every movie theater in the country—I ended up seated directly next to a former student of mine. And boy, let me tell you, what a bad seat partner he was! He was with a date, and they talked the entire time. And this guy is incapable of whispering—I know, I taught him—so it’s just audible murmuring for 90 minutes. And look,…
Translated from by
