Yes, 4 stars is overly generous, but this one's personal.

I grew up in a town that used to house the most important river port on the great Ohio River during the peak of the steel and coal industries in the 1940s-1950s. A town that was impacted by the death of both of those industries locally, and devastated by the building of a 4-lane highway to bypass it and the next two towns.

This movie captures my upbringing, watching the…

Have you ever wanted Larry the Cable Guy to be cast as James Bond?

If the answer is yes, sniff the bottom of a lake.

But also this film is for you! It's got everything! A plot that's painfully contrived, a side character elevated to a lead, the emotional depth of a sheet of paper, implications of religious atrocity in the Cars universe (Cars TSA means Cars 9-11, and Cars 9-11 means Middle Eastern Toyota Hiluxes highjacked living airliners from…