Portland based DJ & a bunch of other things. In love with bad movies, horror, action, and documentaries.
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The Legend of Billie Jean 1985
Never heard of this movie until seeing it on all the streamers for the last 6 months. I finally gave it ago and guess what? It kinda rips.
It’s another movie predicated on the fact that the protagonist is fucking hot. Like too hot. Everyone has to say it. Helen Slater was crushing. And everyone was crushing on her.
Then you get baby Christian Slater before he became Kuffs. Before he started doing a Nicholson impression. And guess what. He’s…
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C.H.U.D. 1984
When I was 19 and stoned out of my mind at my buddy Cody’s place and he was telling me how much he loved C.H.U.D. this isn’t quite the picture I had imagined.
It’s slow and thoughtful and caring? It’s absolutely stacked for a b-movie cast. Heard, Stern, and even John Goodman? Killing it.
I’d say the first 2/3rds really make the movie while the end gets a little chaotic and harder to track.
Having them say “cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers” really ticked the titular box.
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Rollerball 2002
I don’t think we’ve come to terms with the damage “Boom” by P.O.D. has caused our culture.
One of the most poorly constructed movies I’ve ever laid eyes on. It wants to be 7 things and it doesn’t do any of them justice. You can mentally picture piles of scenes, cameos, and stories strewn about a cutting room floor. It’s so aggressively edited. But still the final game seems slow and lacks any tension. Also the sport is stupid as…
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Hard Ticket to Hawaii 1987
All I could hear in my head when starting this movie was Karen Kilgariff singing “It’s a hard ticket to Hawaii” from a long past episode of How Did This Get Made?
I kinda got lost in the sauce of similar looking blondes and good guys that sound and act like bad guys.
One of my first Sidaris flicks. It feels like half the scenes are setups for women to flash their 80’s boobies. The other half is a convoluted…
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