KILL YOURSELF. Why would she dress like that? Jake can't deliver a line to save his own fucking life. Tanya made Jake's life measurably better, and anyone who says otherwise is a hater. We didn't like feeling like we were watching a porn intro for an hour and a half. We'd love to be a pilot.

"Is this box biodegradable?"

One of the cleanest endings in cinematic history. Pretty great! Doris Day's outfits were fantastic. For a movie titled "The Man Who Knew Too Much," it really felt like it was more about Jo. No comment.

"Don't you realize that Americans dislike having their children stolen?"

But why did they take the dog to a human hospital? The character Peggy really reminded us of L from Death Note. It's just a kids movie called Bolt. The character Peggy really reminded us of Elle from Legally Blonde. Bolt is a good boy and he needs therapy for his PTSD. The character Peggy really reminded us of El from Stranger Things.

"There's no truck that I know that can keep in Bolt and Rhino."

Why did they make Joseph Gordon-Looper look like that? The sequence where the old dude's body parts disappear was disturbing, but not as disturbing as the prosthetics on Joseph Gordon-Looper's face. Wow, that first kid really got the short end of the stick, kind of like Joseph Gordon-Looper with those prosthetics. We respect a movie that doesn't try to explain itself, much like how they didn't try to explain Joseph Gordon-Looper's eyebrows. We like the idea of there never really being a paradox, but we could not shake the confusing situation that was the face of Joseph Gordon-Looper. Blunderbussy: Joseph Gordon-Looper.

"I'm going to France."