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Reblogged
Out of all the things in everything, which one... is best?
It's a question we sometimes ask and never need to know the answer to. And finding answers no one needs is precisely the role of the tumblr tournament poll!
Frequently Asked Questions
How does this work? Tumblr users can submit a thing via ask, and the thing will be tried against the other things one by one in random order. 1v1 polls will determine which of each pair is better.
Won't that make way too many polls? Oh yes. If we do ALL the polls of the round robin, there will be a number of total polls equal to the square of the number of things that tumblr users can think of. That's pretty many. Or perhaps zero. It depends on if this blog gets traction or not.
Sooo do you have a solution to that problem? We'll probably discard things that lose all their polls, or enough of their polls, or something like that. They can go on a "not that good" list that will grow over time.
It sounds like you haven't really got a plan. That's not a question!
Why not do a regular single-elimination bracket? We like round robin tournaments better! They're a more reliable way to find out the true relative quality of things. Plus we can have rolling submissions this way.
What kinds of things can be submitted? Submissions should:
1) be a thing. It can be abstract or concrete, alive or not, all are accepted. Examples include "doughnuts", "the letter M", "orgasms", "the Engraved Hourglass Nebula", "being a wizard", "fresh wizard meat cooked over an open fire with a rosemary dry rub", and more!
2) be something that a typical tumblr user could plausibly be familiar with. So "cats" is fine but "the cat that is on the lap of tumblr user fake-example-person" is not. It also can't be "your mom" or similar because that referent changes depending on the answerer. If you're getting specific, make sure it's something the voter could look up.
3) be good. Or at least not bad. We are trying to find the best thing, so submitting "transmisogyny" or "smallpox" or whatever isn't going to be accepted. We also won't accept anything that it would be fucked up to apply a value judgment to, like a demographic of people or something like that.
What do I need to send in my ask? You can just include the thing itself, but if you wish you may add explanation about what the thing is and/or propaganda in favor of it being the best. These will be included with the poll.
What if the options are two very different levels of specificity on similar subjects? Vote with your heart. Is more specificity better or worse?
You sound familiar. Are you some other gimmick blog? We have the distinguished honor of being the same person-posting-as-if-she's-an-organization as the prestigious @meme-conservation and the elegant and insightful @bad-time-analogies!
I have a different question. Perhaps you should ask it instead of waiting for us to anticipate it!
The Shameless Plug... 2!
Classification: Not actually a meme
Conservation status: Critically endangered... unless you follow!
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I wuv gimmick bwogs dey’we da wabid middwe schoowews of da tumbwr ecosystem UwU
This post has been UwU-ified!
! ' - ...
4/22
Prime example all over here
official gimmick post
RAHHHHHHHH 🗽🗽🦅🦅🦅 WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!?!?! 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 OH SAY CAN YOU SE
o l d b a y
this post has big naturals!
This post is now 120 degrees!
THIS POST HURTS!!! TOO MUCH ULTRAVIOLET RADIATION!!!
MY POOR POST
I don't see any fish....
Imagine time as this post. Each of our lives is a gimmick blog, extant only for as long as the gimmick remains amusing, but each contributing to a greater phenomenon that could outlast any individual. There were gimmick blogs before us. There will be gimmick blogs after we are gone. In fact, cosmologists believe that the rate of gimmick blog posting is increasing, though where the energy to produce such expansion originates is still unknown.
The Gimmick Blog Orgy
Conservation status: Least Concern
Classification: native, potentially invasive
As populations of native Gimmick Blogs increase, conservationists are more frequently able to observe this meme's mating ritual. The Gimmick Blog Orgy occurs when a large number of Gimmick Blogs converge on a single post, each bringing its own often very long list of viewers who then attract other Gimmick Blogs to the post. The blogs perform their mating displays as we see above.
The grandiose sight of a Gimmick Blog Orgy does potentially have a sinister underside, however. Conservationists are concerned about the risk of the tumblr ecosystem becoming overrun by Gimmick Blogs as their rate of breeding increases. Some have classified the Gimmick Blog Orgy as a noxious meme due to its impact on other posts, but this category is not among those that we apply here at the TACM.
We have classified this native meme as potentially invasive due to its large and destructive impact on the posts where it appears, but it remains to be seen whether the Gimmick Blog Orgy is a true invasive or simply a meme enjoying a healthy explosive-growth phase of its life cycle.
The Shameless Plug
Classification: idfk
Conservation status: Least Concern
Fans of the TACM may note that our publications have dwindled in frequency in recent years. This is because of a variety of factors such as the increasing age of the joke and the high effort involved in making these posts both sufficiently accurate and sufficiently funny. However, our waning interest in this blog aside, we of the TACM staff have recently launched a new gimmick blog that we presently find amusing enough to have many posts in the queue. Those who enjoy our writing may be interested in @bad-time-analogies
Haven’t heard from Bode in a while. How is it doing?
BODE
Classification: Native
Conservation status: Vulnerable
BODE was once a ubiquitous sight on nearly every dashboard. The lush and abundant resource of pictures of fat cats provided ample habitat for the memes. But now, BODE populations are in decline, and conservationists are struggling to understand why.
Habitat loss is a common source of population decline in memes, but fat cat photos remain as common as ever. A more likely explanation is that aging memes often lose sustenance from loss of context. Does the average tumblr user know that someone once had a dream where the new meme was to caption photos of fat cats with BODE and then the dream became reality? Or are they simply tired of it, moving on to newer memes?
Dream memes like BODE often struggle to find a sustainable existence after the initial population boom driven by their absurdity, but others such as There Are Many Benefits To Being A Marine Biologist have continued to find homes, such as in posts about marine biology. Why hasn't BODE become a mainstay of posts about fat cats? Is it the irrelevance of the word to the photo subject? Is it the existence of a character called Bode who dominates tags and search results that would once have been rife with chubby feline photography?
Researchers have not reached a conclusion. But without conservation efforts, the future for BODE does not bode well.
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The Ides Of March
Conservation status: Least Concern
Classification: Non-native, non-invasive
This meme population has persisted in the pre-internet ecosystem since 44 BC, but for over a millennium the meme remained at very low population levels. Introduction to the theater habitats of England in approximately 1599 by an early meme ecologist (also notable for the introduction of such memes as Damned Spot and To Be Or Not To Be) caused a population boom that has led to the continued stable population of Ides of March despite the extinction or near extinction of the Ides of other months and all known Nones and Kalends.
The Ides Of March, like many other calendar memes such as April 25th (The Perfect Date), Thursday The 20th, and It's October 3rd, has a life cycle that can confuse amateur memeologists. These memes benefit greatly from the presence of scheduled posts in the ecosystem, appearing absent until their highly specific time, when the memes all bloom simultaneously and dominate the dashes of many users.
The annual bloom of the Ides of March meme is almost here!
For those who are new to the tumblr ecosystem, it can be overwhelming, but even for the rest of us, it's a sight to behold! This Ides of March, remember to take a few minutes to stop and smell the refreshing aroma of emperor blood. Spring is here!
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glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
totheorder
:)
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts
1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass
That car is not messed up enough. Here.
1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12
I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees
I’ll write a hauiku
as a comment on this post
and hope the bot sees
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Pretty horse!
ok.
CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!
Wizards I call thee
@absurd-construct @aileaxthevoidien @aroace-wizard @f4y3w00d5 @the-wizard-library @the-gnomish-bastard @the-gnomish-bastards-hat @the-illegal-wizard-council @thatgayforkcrow @the-kobold-bastard @blacktipreefsharkwizarding @slutty-wizard-council @sluttyambiguouswizard @thesluttyvampirewizard @chaos-family @combustion-witch @carnivalwizard @evilwizard @lil-adhd-wizard @greyhound-with-a-mega-wizard-hat @not-wizard-council-aristocrat @wizardvalshadar @wizardsisananimal @wizard-spells @wizard-council @a-mushroom-wizard @draco-the-chaos-quetzal @bobbyzombiegg @terrencetheshark14 @good-wizard @pollution-wizard @slymewitch @yourlocalbreadenthusiast @lixorloveslicorice @magical-bear-dubin @mynaemtony @ripleyalamode @inbox-clown @monsterfucker-research-wizard @the-moth-wizard-of-mayhem @wizard-detective-apprentice @detectivewizzard @goblinofthelaboratory @darkblade-the-unending-curse @ghost-of-a-swarm-of-bees @siley-the-wizard @the-shrimp-that-fried-rice @verylegalwizard @the-better-gnomish-bastard @the-adhd-sorcerer
THE WIZARDS ARE HERE ALONG WITH THE REST OF TUMBLR!
WE PRODUCE A LOT OF CARBON MONOXIDE
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
45 ghosts found
NONE OF YOU would survive in Australia.
Tumblr, everybody!
We here at the Tumblr Association for the Conservation of Memes appreciate the team effort in providing a lush and diverse ecosystem for memes to thrive in.
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if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?
They ship of theseus’d my girl
Can’t have shit in Detroit
this actually perfectly demonstrates the transitive property of memes: you can replace a meme piece by piece until it only structurally resembles the original, and it is, in fact, the same meme.
call that the meme of theseus thesis
tumblrites can have a little intertextuality as a treat
my naym is ship and when i’m broke the broken part from me they toke
replace the part had been the plan but in the morn hand door car man
*me shoving transitive properties into my purse* sorry, I have to go
We owe the reddit refugees an apology for making them see posts like this
no we don’t this shit is enrichment in their new enclosure
*slaps roof of Tumblr* This baby can fit so many rare vintages, you just have to go deep enough, there are some great memes in the cellar, come see
*puts this post in a tank right by the main entrance for the Tumblr Association for the Conservation of Memes*
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Time for There Is No Queen of Emgland
There Is No Queen Of England
Conservation Status: Near Threatened
Classification: Non-native, non-invasive
There Is No Queen Of England is a meme that requires a highly specific ecological niche. While the queen of England was dying, the meme enjoyed a relatively stable environment and was able to spread into a wide variety of habitats. However, the life cycle of There Is No Queen Of England ends when, spurred by the death of the queen, the memes flower suddenly, presenting their full image instead of the cropped version that has spread prior to September 2022.
The reason we have listed the memes as Near Threatened is because, after flowering, the future of the memes is uncertain. Can the meme find a suitable germination site and habitat in an environment where the lack of a queen of England is simply a fact? We predict that it may face endangerment or extinction in such an environment.
However, there is still hope for the meme. In the event of the eradication of monarchy in England altogether, the breakup of the United Kingdom, or other political events wherein the existence or nonexistence of a queen of England is relevant, the meme may find sufficient sustenance for years to come.
We here at the TACM are excited to report sightings of this meme surviving in the wild in new environments, notably including the fresh corpse of Henry Kissinger. Experts now believe that the death of any sufficiently infamous public figure will provide There Is No Queen Of England with suitable habitat in the future, and given the wide availability of such public figures, we are pleased to update the conservation status of this meme to Least Concern. Congratulations to meme conservationists everywhere for this success story!
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Erogenous Bosch or whatever his name is
That's the one who got really turned on by nearly everything. I think the artist was Heterogenous Bosch.
That's the one who was composed of many different organs, none of them alike. You're thinking of Endogenous Bosch
That's the one whose artistic process took place wholly within his body. I think you meant Androgynous Bosch.
That’s the one of indeterminate sex. I think you meant Cacophonous Bosch.
No, that's the noisy one. You were probably thinking of Euphonious Bosch.
That's the brass instrumentalist. You're thinking of Hierophanius Bosch.
No, that's the one that's a physical manifestation of the diveine, you're thinking of Eponymous Bosch.
That's the one who named all his paintings after himself. I think you mean Anonymous Bosch.
No one knows who that one is.
Conservationists here at the TACM are excited to learn that a novel subspecies of the Scalia Variations meme has been found thriving in the wild.
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Goncharov
Conservation status: Least Concern
Classification: non-native, possibly invasive
The Goncharov first appeared in 1973, and in its native habitat of Film Bro Discussions, the meme is not very aggressive and has largely been outcompeted by other species.
However, the meme has spread rapidly upon introduction to the fertile tumblr ecosystem and experts are concerned about the possibility of damage to native meme populations.
It is likely that the meme was introduced to tumblr accidentally, by being tracked in on a traveler's shoe.
goncharov is from tumblr! @zootycoon-archive started it. i’m at least 90% sure this is correct. but the concept is native to this site, it just hasn’t really started proliferating memeishly until like now
Actually, Goncharov originated in Italy in 1973 and was started by Martin Scorcese, who we do not believe currently has a tumblr account.
Goncharov
Conservation status: Least Concern
Classification: non-native, possibly invasive
The Goncharov first appeared in 1973, and in its native habitat of Film Bro Discussions, the meme is not very aggressive and has largely been outcompeted by other species.
However, the meme has spread rapidly upon introduction to the fertile tumblr ecosystem and experts are concerned about the possibility of damage to native meme populations.
It is likely that the meme was introduced to tumblr accidentally, by being tracked in on a traveler's shoe.
Time for There Is No Queen of Emgland
There Is No Queen Of England
Conservation Status: Near Threatened
Classification: Non-native, non-invasive
There Is No Queen Of England is a meme that requires a highly specific ecological niche. While the queen of England was dying, the meme enjoyed a relatively stable environment and was able to spread into a wide variety of habitats. However, the life cycle of There Is No Queen Of England ends when, spurred by the death of the queen, the memes flower suddenly, presenting their full image instead of the cropped version that has spread prior to September 2022.
The reason we have listed the memes as Near Threatened is because, after flowering, the future of the memes is uncertain. Can the meme find a suitable germination site and habitat in an environment where the lack of a queen of England is simply a fact? We predict that it may face endangerment or extinction in such an environment.
However, there is still hope for the meme. In the event of the eradication of monarchy in England altogether, the breakup of the United Kingdom, or other political events wherein the existence or nonexistence of a queen of England is relevant, the meme may find sufficient sustenance for years to come.
Anonymous asked:
Unfortunately my personal acquaintances dedicates to tending to the ecosystem are disappeared under mysterious circumstances: how was The Nature of Humanity Is That Every Once In A While Someone Recreates Homestuck doing again?
Someone Accidentally Invents Homestuck Again
Conservation Status: Least Concern
Classification: Non-native, non-invasive
Someone Accidentally Invents Homestuck Again is a non-native meme originating from the Twitter ecosystem. However, since its introduction to tumblr, the meme is found in abundance in a wide variety of habitats, able to survive practically anywhere in tumblr.
Why is Someone Accidentally Invents Homestuck so prevalent? Experts believe there are two main causes.
First, the meme is able to feed in any environment where anything that resembles Homestuck is available. This includes, notably, anything that resembles a wide variety of other works of fiction in any medium; the feed need not specifically resemble homestuck by any means. Since Homestuck is a large body of work, there is much, both unusual and mundane, that can be considered to replicate it. This effect is extended by the lifecycle of a possibly related meme, Boss Baby Vibes, in which an internet user whose focus is solely on one singular piece of media finds what appear to be references to it everywhere. The tumblr environment is rich with such instances and the Someone Accidentally Invents Homestuck meme thrives.
The second cause is common to several other memes. Like Loss, The Game, or the Rickroll, Someone Accidentally Invents Homestuck is often viewed with hostility by internet users and considered a noxious meme, which paradoxically increases its reproduction rate due to the enthusiasm with which other internet users attempt to combat the efforts to eradicate it.
Experts predict that Homestuck fans will discover some way in which this publication replicates an event from Homestuck.
I think you have a thing or two in common with the Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group (HORG), maybe you could reach out to each other?
We have great respect for the HORG! Their work in occlupanid taxonomy and classification has been an inspiration for organizations like ours around the world for many years.