“No,” Maxwell says.

“I may be able to navigate it decently in an emergency situation,” Ezra answers. “I’m by no means an expert, but it has occasionally come up in field medicine training for various companies I’ve worked for.”

“While I have seen many farm animals give birth, I would be far less comfortable helping a woman,” Tovar says. “I’ve heard some of the things those women say while in the act. A mare or a cow can’t speak. They can all break my bones if they deem it necessary, however.”

“And that’s where I come in,” Max adds. “I’m a great stress ball. You can’t break my bones. And you can hit me if you need to. As for the actual like, getting the baby out? Not gonna be particularly helpful there.”

“Y’know, I’ve actually had to help with one before, and I did… okay, I think,” Javi says. “It was at one of the brothels. Not sure why she was there so late in her pregnancy, but it was what it was. Thankfully one of the other girls seemed to know what she was doing. Far as I know they’re both still doing well.”

“Birth is extremely important to us,” Din says. “I can definitely help with one.”

“I’m much better at taking life out of this world,” Oberyn confesses.

“Eh, I could figure it out,” Jack says, almost a little arrogantly. “It’s all the same process. Just… smaller.”

((From most to least, we got, in my opinion, Din, Javi, Jack, Tovar, Ezra, Oberyn, Max, Maxwell, but there’s a pretty big gap in helpfulness between Max and Maxwell))

“I’m not going to lie I just buck up and buy stuff that’s actually made for blood stains, those laundry pre-treatments,” Max explains. “I just get enough blood on my clothes that it’s worth it.”

“Cold water, peroxide, and baking soda,” Jack suggests. “And try to get it while it’s fresh, if at all possible.”

“I’ve heard lemon juice can also work in lieu of peroxide,” Javi says.

“Just wear dark clothes and they simply don’t show up,” Tovar tells you. Din nods a little bit at that suggestion.

The room is silent for a moment before none other than Max jumps out at you with a very over-dramatic “aha!” He immediately straightens up and laughs a little.

“Yeah, we’re all here. Our illustrious caretaker decided to find a new job and move, though, so things got a little hairy there for a bit,” Max explains.

The entire room startles, but is quickly smoothed over by the fact there are cookies. Everyone thanks you and starts eating theirs, and the kid particularly seems to be enjoying his.

“These are amazing,” Javi comments.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need that recipe,” Jack tells you.

“I’m not complaining about the cookies, of course, but why ‘stress baked?’“ Maxwell asks. “Isn’t… cleaning up after just going to cause you more stress?”

“Interesting creatures indeed,” Ezra observes. “Doesn’t seem like they blend in well with their surroundings. Nonetheless, congratulations on your new employment.”

“You know where to come if you need any advice,” Maxwell says. “I hope the move wasn’t too stressful for you.”

“Well done,” Tovar says shortly, though you can tell he means it.

“Cyar’ika, I’m sure the kid will love anything you have to give to him,” Din assures you. Meanwhile, Grogu grabs for your phone and ogles at the little creature for a while. He definitely seems interested in it.

“Congrats,” Javi says. “I hope it works out for you in the long run.”

“And hey, if anyone bothers you at your new job, you know who to call,” Jack adds. “Those are weird little fellas, though, huh?”

“They look more suited for somewhere it snows all the time,” Oberyn says.

“Hey, if your manager ends up being a piece of work, let me know. I have some good ways of taking care of that,” Max tells you, grinning his fang-y grin.

“I have no idea what that means,” Javi answers.

“Well, I’m still here, so,” Maxwell responds. “But it certainly could be worse.”

“This place and these words you use confuse me,” Tovar says, grumpily as always.

“I’m well, better now that the weather is attempting to cool off just a bit,” Ezra replies. “And yourself?”

“The types of wine your people have devised are impressive and delicious,” Oberyn says. He has a half-consumed glass of some kind of white wine in his hand right now. It’s noon.

“Well, I’m certainly not bored,” Din says, taking his attention from the kid who is currently playing with some toys on the floor.

“I could think of some things that could use a good vibin’,” Jack says with a smirk.

Max makes an offended face at Jack. “You stole my joke!”

Grogu is, of course, psyched out of his little green mind to have this sugary snack that also looks like him. Din takes the extra two suckers and puts them in a pouch so the kid doesn’t eat all 3 all at once.

“Thank you,” he says, and there’s just a hint of amusement in his voice. He looks at the one of him for a bit, fiddling with the opening mechanism.

And, as you probably expect, Max is the one who bursts out laughing first. “You’re literally giving him head!”

(These all happen simultaneously for the sake of this being extremely funny)

Oberyn takes one of the alcoholic ones and attempts to drink through the straw, and immediately looks incredibly disappointed. However, once everyone figures out what’s going on, he happily eats the jello with a spoon. “Despite the initial disappointment this is quite delightful.”

Maxwell looks distrustful and moves the straw, then gives you a look as he figures out that it’s jello. Then he looks back at the jello. “Well. I haven’t had jello shots since I was in college.”

Max knows something is awry immediately because he, too, is fond of pranking the men he lives with. “This doesn’t also have, like, laxatives in it, does it?”

Javi is also somewhat disappointed when he can’t drink it with the straw. He looks confused, then a look of realization crosses his face. “Jesus, it’s the first, isn’t it?”

Jack doesn’t take one and squints playfully. “The straws ain’t movin’,” he observes. “Good try. But I will take some, regardless.”

Tovar is absolutely mystified by this gelatin stuff. He’s quiet as he just sort of plays with it, watching it jiggle.

Ezra falls for it, too, and chuckles as he realizes what’s going on. “Very well done.”

Din hands one of the kid-friendly ones to the kid, then laughs a little as Grogu tries with frustration to drink some through the straw. In order to avoid a tantrum, he quickly replaces the straw with a spoon, and all is well with the world.

“You’re more than welcome, my dear,” Oberyn tells you. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, though I am glad you’re out of a bad situation. Take care of yourself.”

Din takes your hands without question, holding them tightly.

Max begins snickering at your comment, then begins straight up laughing. “Oh come on, let the record show I’ve been a hell of a lot more than pegged.”

Din tilts his head ever so slightly, almost amused. “I think we’re on the same page, now.”