proficient in using ranged and deranged weapons

dna results came back negative. I've got no damn genetics.

String identified:

Closest match: Nope! Nothing in ther!

she’s right

Being blocked on tumblr isn’t important unless it’s by the OP of a funny post in which case it’s the same suffering as what they’re doing to Jesus this Friday

Scratching and scrabbling at the door like please I will renounce whatever take of mine annoyed you please can I reblog the funny post please please

being an adult is so weird

You ever have those days where you’re like ‘there is technically no one but yourself stopping you from randomly moving to a different country. or spending nearly three hundred bucks on a reproduction of a medieval tapestry. or learning the accordion’

and the other part of your brain is like ‘there’s also no one but yourself stopping you from doing the dishes. gotta do those first’

tomorrow i will ride an elephant sized isopod into a crowded public area and we will all find out what happens next together

.

good work everyone

first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.

Idk like I think there's a really misogynist way that women are expected to consider being murdered and assaulted as like 1000x worse than anything else that could happen and do everything possible to avoid it and like it's unarguably bad! But constantly whenever I mention going hiking or whatever people are like 'omg you're going camping alone as a woman??? what if you get murdered?????' Actually by far the way I am most likely to die doing that is... some sleep deprived or drunk driver crashing into me on the way there! But no one tells you to avoid driving, meanwhile there's so much pressure on women to like, always stay in other crowded super safe areas or at home to Protect Their Virtue and it's like lol I would actually rather live an interesting life doing things that I enjoy

good morning and happy is it really tuesday tuesday

Yeah fair, I’d be the same tbh…

Yeah....

ELVIS ?

world famous evil wizard being impressed by little old mes mutual was not on my bingo sheet.

we need a film where the opening scene features a protagonist coughing up what is very clearly an eggsac. i don't have a plot synopsis we should just start and go from there

i think tumblr fucky wucky'd and made this post twice. the notes on both are unique, and their post time is 1min apart

thanks for letting me know! why are we waterboarding me

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

Dude that is too much slop for him

🧡 Deltarune releases in 50 days! 🧡

Its an.... Unconventional approach but i guess I'll give it a try

cum on this computer or i'll crush you with my giant hands boy