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You picked me up when I was at the Lowes

@teamplasmadropout

If I catch you with transphobe shit i will straight up kill you

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but iโ€™m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

โ€œwhy do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?โ€ -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

โ€œwhy do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?โ€ -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. โ€œPLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIESโ€ (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i donโ€™t think it really hammered home until i saidย โ€œokay everyone gets ONE cookie, thatโ€™s fair, right?โ€ and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasnโ€™t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit ๐Ÿฅบ

got briefly distracted (โ€ฆfor over half an hourโ€ฆ) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but itโ€™s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tinyโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

the class went well and they asked if i wanted to do another one in a couple weeks and i said yeah, and theyโ€™re taking uhโ€ฆ fuck, whatโ€™s the word for inventory when itโ€™s people?? attendance?? whatever, theyโ€™re trying to see whoโ€™s interested to get a feel of if itโ€™d be 1 three hour class again or if thereโ€™s too many kids so weโ€™d do a couple classes. anyways, i love the emails from Concerned Parents.

โ€œwill there be knives involved?โ€ we are baking cookies.

โ€œwhat temperatures does the oven get to/will it be hot enough to burn?โ€ we are baking cookies.

โ€œwill there be [insert ingredient used in cookies]?โ€ we are baking cookies.

โ€œare you using fahrenheit or celsius?โ€ ??????? d-does it matter?? itโ€™s going to get Hot. (also celsius; this is ontario)

โ€œare the ovens childproof?โ€ no?? iโ€™m assuming youโ€™re asking if iโ€™m going to let your kids reach into the ovens while iโ€™m staring out a window in another room. i will not be allowing your children to use the ovens. they will not be left unattended.ย 

โ€œwhy is the library baking class taking place at the high school?โ€ the library does not have 10 ovens. the library does not even have 1 oven. the high school has many ovens.

โ€œwhat if i donโ€™t want my child to have cookies? can you let her make muffins instead?โ€ this is a baking class for cookies. we are baking cookies.

โ€œcookies arenโ€™t healthy. why donโ€™t you make [insert whatever]โ€ do you know how many cookies i can make with a $40 budget and a trip to the bulk store? we are making cookies.

โ€œwho needs a class to bake a cookie, why not teach something more valuable?โ€ ITโ€™S NOT JUST ABOUT THE COOKIES, KAREN, ITโ€™S ABOUT FAMILIARIZING CHILDREN WITH THE ART AND SCIENCE OF BAKING/COOKING/FOOD, ABOUT TRYING NEW THINGS, MAKING MISTAKES AND REALIZING THAT THE MISTAKES ARE NOT ONLY OKAY TO MAKE BUT VALUABLE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, FAMILIARIZING THEM WITH INDEPENDENCE, THE UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS CAN COME TOGETHER TO FORM A NEW AND BETTER WHOLE, ALL WHILE HAVING TRYING TO INJECT A MODICUM OF JOY INTO THEIR LITTLE LIVES. SORRY THAT THERE ARE CONCEPTS AT PLAY YOU CANโ€™T SEEN TO UNDERSTAND HERE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD COME JOIN AND Iโ€™LL LET YOU MAKE A FUCKING COOKIE.

WAIT

I JUST REMEMBERED HEARING AN ELON MUSK QUOTE WHERE HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HE BELIEVES CHESS IS "TOO SIMPLE" OR WHATEVER AND HE SAID HIS FAVORITE GAME WAS A GAME CALLED "POLYTOPIA"

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IVE PLAYED POLYTOPIA

It being Elon's favorite game (or at least one so important to him that his biographer dedicates a lot of time to it) is.....really really funny.

Basically, imagine Civilization, but as a mobile game. So like if Civilization Revolution was even more dumbed down (that's a Civilization insult. That's devastating. It's devastated right now). For what it's worth, it's not a bad game. On the contrary, from what I could tell in the little bit of time I played it, it's a perfectly competent game with good design. But it's not a deep game by any means. I played through it once, won easily on my first go, then saw that the other playable characters had barely any differences between them.

Like, not to imply you can judge a book by its cover, but here's what it looks like

I came across an article by Dave Karpf discussing this exact thing, and I think it describes it wonderfully

Published in โ€œTransvestiaโ€ magazine #38 (April 1966). I think original art could be by Bob Tupper.

not sure if anyoneโ€™s added this info here but because I wanted to know more I checked andโ€ฆ.

Every issue of transvestia magazine, which ran from the 60โ€™s through to the 80โ€™s is available through the uVic archives. It was a groundbreaking publication for the crossdressing and later the transgender community. Check it out.

sometimes when Iโ€™m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself โ€œyouโ€™re being goob. you are being goob right nowโ€

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