Little black squash balls, Walter. This lab is where you will create little black squash balls.

the entirety of “Meet the Spy” sped up 10x except for the word “pornography”

hey i hope this isn't a bad time but one billion points lava damage

Man c'mon

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

i know what i’m doing dw

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

?????

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

Spent 20 minutes editing the Casino Royale poker scene to be chutes and ladders instead of finishing my English homework.

just your wait for my famous sinister stew to finish boy youre in for a treat

*takes out my gougar counter and it starts going wild*

I'm not sure what a gougar counter I but I've heard of Geiger counter.

i assume it detects cougars (as in, attractive older women).

WRONG

IT WAS A GOUGER

a rotund figure clutching a sweet treat

does anybody have the video of a guy firing an rpk until the front grip catches on fire

like not smoking in flames. maybe not an rpk but it was ak-pattern

it was an rpk!

are you sure you want to be loading another magazine man i think it's pretty hot

a japanese guy who made a bunch of creepy pasta videos a long time ago (you’ve probably seen Youtube666, he made that) is playing through minecraft for the first time and he’s not using any guides or anything other than the in-game guidebook and he’s fucking. doing it in such a buddhist way.

like, he’s so patient and detached from all of the stuff he’s gotten.

in the newest episode he destroyed 14566 blocks of bridge and blew up his original house just because he learned about xyz coordinates by accidentally pressing F5 and he wanted his house to be at the X:0 coordinate.

also look at this quarry. it’s his 5th quarry.

look at this absolute fucking massive hole.

and it’s not like “HELLOOOOO EVERYBODY WHAT IS UP, TODAY WE’RE GONNA BE PLAYING MIIIIIINECRAAAAFT” he’s just like. a quiet 30 year old japanese man who speaks very precisely and politely. and he even does his own english captions which are overlayed on the video and he uses emoticons like (0u0)/

he’s so wonderful and cute.

please watch at least like 5 minutes of this.

i PROMISE you you’ll smile.

i’ve been keeping track of piropito’s minecraft series since the beginning and i can promise you all 76 episodes and counting are well worth the watch because it’s incredible the LENGTHS this guy goes to learn and explore without help from others.

some highlights:

-spends literal HOURS upon HOURS building these long, seemingly endless bridges because he wants to reach “the ends of the earth”

-around episode 40, he’s learned the ins and outs of redstone but doesn’t realize you can sleep in your bed.

-the noises he makes when he’s afraid of enemies/dies are precious and gentle and not at all what you’d expect from a famous horror artist

-spends hours trading resources with villagers to get glass only to find out almost 50 episodes in that you can make glass from sand

-destroys several mountains of sand in the desert to not only fuel his love for glass, but also because “explosions are sugoi 0u0″

-sees a silverfish and

-builds a giant “machine” that runs on redstone, minecarts, and pistons that pushes colored sand through a massive glass window. it doesn’t do anything, it just pushes all the blocks to the bottom and breaks after a few minutes. piro seems very pleased with it.

-makes these complex shapes/structures in an attempt to create a nether portal, doesn’t realize it’s just a rectangle

-a fan made a skin just for him, complete with 0u0 face

-falls in lava multiple times, never gives up

-builds a giant coin pusher game for funsies

-NANI KORE?

-in short i beg of you to watch this gentle man play minecraft blind it’s so fascinating

girls you won't believe what url was not taken

Tarnished,