Oof, baaaad mood. Please send babe and french fries.

What do you get when you type I need into the tags..

So many of my story-focused daydreams now are just trying to figure out what MTT Reader's pregnancy cravings are going to include...

Coleslaw on saltines. Maybe sauerkraut and crackers

Fun fact. There is a lady at my mom's assisted living facility who was alive for the great depression in '29.

She's 106 and still kicking ass. She's slower though these days

Stella, who might like celery this time.

She definitely seems the type to need to sniff every blade of grass

It's 1am and I'm buying 120m of wood on the internet because I needed a door so I'd say adulthood is going alright

Metres? Like? Square? Or is this gonna be one long, thin door?

Had to pay $50 delivery for the door anyways so I figured I'd also get as much material as I could for my next project to avoid paying another $50 to get that delivered at a later date.

Love the way this is phrased like a 120m2 door would make more sense

Full human body has 2 square meters of skin. So that’s like 60 skin-suits worth of door. If that helps anyone else visualize it.

thanks Babs, we can always count on you

this website is free bc no one would ever pay to see this post

#i feel so dumb for reading “120m of wood” as 120 minutes of wood#as if op had to pay to get to watch a video of wood for 120 minutes#holding my head in my hands#<33

Pay-per-view is getting very uninspired

Meanwhile I thought you bought 120m of planks to assemble a door by yourself.

Yeah the castle needs a new gate

So is it 120m of doors? Like 50-60 doors?

People weren't making enough fun of my house on the internet so it's time to build a house made entirely of doors

Honestly I should have predicted that this poll would go in this direction.

At least Jack would fit on the door

Sucking Hotch dry until he is an overstimulated mess beneath you 😵‍💫😵‍💫.

of all the things i needed to see on my dash this morning this was not it 😭😩🦋🦋🦋

(yes it was, i just can’t seem to breathe properly from thinking about his cock)

y’all. I AM AT WORK.

YOU AND ME BOTH SISTER 😭

That makes three of us and I totally would take him to the treatment room

this girl in high school who called me a slut (even tho i had the same boyfriend for 3 years of high school) just followed me on twitter

I give it a few days and then "hey Hun..."

lets settle this properly

I have a theory

One more thing!

Athens, Texas claims the hamburger

https://www.texasmonthly.com/food/the-worlds-first-hamburger/

lets settle this properly

I have a theory

?????? rich people are losing it

More Than This 9

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader

Word Count: ~3k

Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.

Warnings: Angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, explicit language, references to childhood trauma, pregnancy, my own rampant abuse of italics and en dashes, the slooowest burn, - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: We've made it to brighter days, you guys!!! I won't lie to you and say there's no angst at all in this chapter, but we've definitely finally entered the next era of this story. Yay!

Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who fact-checked this for me, and in general is just always available to talk things through.

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too! As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

You were anxiously pacing around the lower floor when Ransom got home. He stopped in the entryway, watching you carefully. When you stopped moving around, making eye contact with him, he asked, “You ready to go?”

Instead of answering his question, you just said, “You don’t need to come with me. I– I can do this by myself.”

He scoffed. “Like I wouldn’t take advantage of a reason to leave work early.” He held a hand out to you. “Come on,” he said seriously. “Let’s go.”

You nodded silently and grabbed your handbag, letting him lead you out to the car.

“It’s going to be ok,” he murmured as he opened the car door for you. You couldn’t tell if he believed that or not, but you nodded anyway.

More Than This 8

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, Steve Rogers & f!reader

Word Count: ~9.5k

Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.

Warnings: Angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, explicit language, fighting, my own rampant abuse of italics and en dashes, the slooowest burn, family drama - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Ohhhhhhhh boy. Getting this update in right under the six month wire. I'm so sorry this one took so long, you guys. I had to drag this chapter out of me. But uh, it's horrifically long, so that's something?

And, I know I keep saying that we're about to start a happier part of this story and then deliver a bucketful of angst, and yeah, whoops, I've done that again. I should just stop making promises, huh?

Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who has spent the last almost six months talking this one through with me. And to @bigtreefest who was so great with the encouragement and gut checks and did a quick beta of this chapter! But, of course, all mistakes are my own.

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too! As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The rest of the day was quiet. Calmer, more settled than you were used to. After having gotten everything out into the open, it was so much easier to acknowledge Ransom’s presence, to coexist with him. You hadn’t fully realized how much you’d been holding your breath until you could suddenly breathe freely. It was a wild feeling.

Once you were all cried out, Ransom turned on the TV, turning it to the classic movie channel. That was how you learned he loved old movies. “Grandad and I used to watch them together. When I was a kid,” he said quietly. He didn't volunteer any other information and you didn't ask. But you watched the old noir with him.

NGL, Steve coming in Captain America style had me laughing at my job. He could do that all day.