Hate me (S.H)
Warning(s); angst without a happy ending,mentions of smut,slight mention of eddie x reader,lowkey asshole Steve,physical fight.
Pairing(s); Steve Harrington x (Afab) Fem! Reader.
Summary; you hate Steve Harrington, because he stole something from you and never gave it back. Your heart.
A/n; I’m in a mood so just enjoy this😅
“Pleaseeeeee” Eddie tugged on your arm and you huffed “Eddie quit it. I’m not going to Nancy wheelers stupid birthday party” he pouted “but I was invited! For once! You have to come as my date.” You shook your head “no, Eddie. Nothing you say or do will make me go to that girls party.” Eddie took that as a challenge. “Really? Nothing?” You nodded flipping through the records.
“What about early access to the new queen record?” You looked at him “that could get you fired….you’re that willing huh?” He nodded “but why me? What about Chrissy I’m sure she’d love to go” Eddie shook his head “see this way we both get what we want, you get to show off for steve and I get to remind Chrissy that if she wants me she needs to say so it’s perfect” you tensed up at the mention of Steve’s name.
“Steves gonna be there?” You asked and Eddie realized his mistake very quickly “no! NO! You can’t bail now! You agreed!” You glared “you know I hate Steve. I’d rather fight monsters again then see fucking Steve Harrington” Eddie hissed “harsh, he’s not that bad” you scoffed “not that bad? Edward munson do we need to go down senior break again?” Eddie’s face sunk in at the mention of his full first name. “You’ll barely see him! And I won’t leave your side and if…if you need to leave we can! Please they’re finally accepting me as a friend I don’t wanna fuck this up!” Eddie looked at you with those big brown puppy eyes and you groaned.
“One condition. I get my pick of your dnd dice.” Eddie narrowed his eyes “but…some of them are sentimental!” You shrugged “fine!” You smiled and he shook your hand.
Eddie owned up and let you pick through his dice, you kept away from the ones you knew he loved. There was a particular one you wanted. It was red and pink and the numbers were painted with black ink. It reminded you of mars so you took it and he was upset but not for long.
You held up to your side too and showed up with Eddie to the skating rink. Eddie wore his usual tight black jeans, swapping his hellfire club shirt for a regular Van Halen T-shirt. You tied his hair back into a bun for him. You however were matching him wearing a black skirt,fish nets underneath and the same Van Halen shirt. You and Eddie went to a lot of concerts together. He let you steal the chain off his jeans to add to your skirt and you had to say you two as a couple didn’t look half bad.
You walked in with Eddie’s arm slung around your waist. It didn’t take long for you to remember just how annoying her birthday parties were with all the pink and pastel colors. They physically hurt your eyeballs. You didn’t hate Nancy at all she was very sweet,kind to you throughout all of high school.
Of course once you see Nancy though you see Steve too, the pair of you lock eyes for a minute and you feel your chest burn tears already pricking your eyes. You turn around in Eddie’s hold “Eddie I don’t think I can do this.” He dipped his head down as if he was trying to block out the world around you. “Yes you can, him and Nancy aren’t even together anymore you have a chance” you shook your head “I don’t want a chance. Every time I look at him I just see it all over again.” Your breath was shaking and Eddie instantly felt guilt for practically forcing you here.
“I just need some air, Eddie I’m really sorry” you separated from him and left back out the front doors. You felt like you couldn’t breathe seeing him again just brought all the pain and hurt you managed to stuff down right back out. You didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s night, didn’t want him to not have fun but you didn’t think you could stand near Steve without breaking down.
You were still filled with so much hurt and anger towards him. You had never wished bad karma on anyone but Steve because he deserved it. You walked around the side of the building trying keep it together so you wouldn’t ruin your make up. You leaned against the wall taking shallow breaths trying to get yourself to just calm down. It burned, your eyes, your arms, your legs,chest. It all burned with anger and hurt and it wouldn’t stop.
Eddie stood there watching you walk out instant regret filling him. Until, Harrington walked over “hey, she alright? She looked sick” Eddie felt anger bubble inside of him. How the fuck could he be so Fucking stupid how could he now see how badly he hurt her. Eddie wanted to punch him, pummel him until he was a bloody mess. “You’re shitting me.” He said and Steve looked back at him confused.
“You have the nerve to ask if she’s okay? Like you ever fucking cared about her.” Steve was taken aback by him “what? What’re you talking About?” Steve questioned. Eddie didn’t see you enter again but he was already going off so what’s the point in stopping now. “What do I mean? God! You really are a pretensions douchebag. You want to care now? Now? What about senior year huh? Why didn’t you care then?” Eddie shoved Steve back and now he was drawing more attention.
All at once Eddie didn’t care about making a good impression, he didn’t care that Chrissy was watching and he sure as hell didn’t care that he was gonna ruin his chances of being friends.
“What? She’s good enough to fuck, good enough to keep your dick warm but not good enough to be cared for?” Steve caught himself once Eddie pushed him “excuse me?” “You think we don’t know? Don’t know that you and her used to hook up, that you used her just to get back with Nancy?” Steve stayed quiet after that “you fucking used her when you knew how badly she loved you! How much she wanted to be with you. You didn’t even end it properly! You just show up with Nancy again and act as if she meant fucking nothing!” Eddie shoved him again and you finally stepped in.
“Eddie, stop…don’t do this. Not on her birthday.” You wrapped your arms around Eddie’s arm and tugged him away from Steve. Chrissy was now on the other side of Eddie helping you to pull him away. “Cmon guys let’s just go.” Chrissy said dropping her hand to hold Eddie’s. You turned “y/n I-” “don’t!” You interrupted him tears brimming “you’ve done enough, Steve. Just leave us alone” you,Eddie and Chrissy all left after that.
Eddie apologized profusely and you told him it was okay because it was. You spent the next few days working on your re-register for college and just stayed away from everyone. You weren’t trying to hide or isolate yourself but you just wanted to be left alone for a few days.
“Y/n! Your friend is here!” When your mom yelled up the stairs you sighed knowing eventually eddie wouldn’t let you stay inside forever. You slid off you before and made your way around to your stairs and to your surprise it was actually Robin. Robin was your friend yes, but the pair of you stopped hanging out once everything with Steve happened. “Hey..” you said and she waved. “I wanna talk if you’re okay with that?” You nodded “sure.” Robin came upstairs with you and sat down on your bed.
“First off, I wanna say I’m sorry for not trying better to be your friend after what happened. I didn’t mean to take a ‘side’ I just saw Steve more and I should’ve made a better effort to see you.” You nodded “I came here to tell you that Steve’s really upset with himself. I’m not here to try to convince you to go fix things but I think you should know he didn’t realize he had hurt you.” You sighed “I know he didn’t realize, but when you spent 90% of your time with someone and you kiss them and fuck them how could you just acting like that didn’t happen not hurt.” Robin nodded “it’s Steve, he’s an idiot” you let out a soft laugh.
“Steve really does feel bad. He’s been crying and won’t come in to work,Nancy even said he threw up after you and Eddie left.” You felt your heart pang with sorrow for him. “I know what he did was wrong, it was fucked up and I wouldn’t forgive him either. However I know you still love him.” You smiled softly “i also know that you miss him and that you know he deserves a chance to apologize.” You rolled your eyes “I hate you Buckley” Robin smile “yeah,I hate you too” the pair of you hugged and you accepted what you needed to do.
You could tell Steve was shocked when you showed up at his door at 1am. You really just came to see if he was as broken up as Robin said and he was. You could see the baggy red marks under his eyes and his hair was a mess not fixed how it normally was. You fully expected him to slam the door in your face but he let you inside without saying anything.
You had spent the whole drive over planning what you were gonna say to him. You turned around to talk to Steve but he just hugged you, his arms wrapped around you as you froze in place. He hadn’t hugged you in close to 3 years, now the fact you avoided him didn’t help. It took a minute to settle into the feeling of him so close again before you slowly allowed your self to relax and hug him. He still smelled of the same cologne, still hugged the same way using his whole body to engulf you. It felt normal,felt easy, he felt like home. You quickly pulled back and pushed him away.
“I didn’t come here for you to hang all over me.” Steves face sunk even lower at your tone “I came because Robin said you were fucking yourself up so I came to tell you to quit it.” Steve sighed “y/n I’m sorry. Really I didn’t realize how much you cared or-” “oh, shut up” you interrupted. “You knew. I know you knew because I overheard you talking to Nancy about it steve. I’m not a idiot.” Steve chewed on his lip.
“You heard us?” He questioned and you nodded “i heard you tell her that you wouldn’t ever want me like you did her, that even if we did date you’d only be thinking about her, that you knew I really liked you but you just didn’t care.” Reciting what he said made your heart hurt, he really said such awful things and you still love him.
“I was young then and stupid I didn’t know then how much you meant to me” you nodded “I meant so much? How come you never wrote to me like our friends did? If you cared so much why didn’t you reach out? You knew where to” Steve shrugged “because you don’t really care Steve. You can’t have Nancy so now you wanna be with me, that isn’t happening.” He shook his head “no! That’s not true I really care about you!” You sighed “I’m not saying you don’t. You just don’t care like I did.” Steve paused. “Did…? You don’t…you don’t love me anymore?” His eyes looked hurt, pained and you almost told him the truth.
“No. I don’t.” You said with as much confidence as you could muster. “God…” he sniffled “you’re just like Nancy” “excuse me?” You questioned. “I’m only good enough when you want me not when I want you.” You narrowed your eyes “you’re Fucking with me right?” Steve shrugged “let me make something clear before you run around playing victim to our friends. I loved you. I wanted to be with you. I let you take so much of my innocence, including my virginity because I loved you Steve. I put my all into our relationship. If you needed me I was there,if you didn’t I gave you space. I loved you so honestly and whole heartedly.” Steve looked down away from you.
“Who wasn’t there? Nancy. Who never gave you space? Nancy. Who got drunk and broke your heart? Nancy Fucking wheeler. I’m nothing like her. How dare you say I am! I loved you! I really did, but you just threw it all away. You crushed my heart when you were supposed to protect it and I’m in the wrong? What were you expecting that I just hold onto the hope that some day you’d love me enough? That i would be good enough?” You sighed “well,I lost that hope the day you looked me in my face and said I meant nothing to you.” You shoved past him and walked back out to your car angrier then ever as you sped away.
The next few months of summer were spent outside of Hawkins and with your dad in California. You didn’t try to contact Steve once keeping up with him through your friends though you learned that Nancy had broken up with Johnny again and gotten back with Steve.
Once you were back in town you made it a point to check on Johnny and he was pretty hurt. You comforted him as best you could and even told him he should try to come to your college which he applied to and got in. Eddie and Chrissy didn’t end up together she got back with Jason so you now had two boys who got their heart broken. The three of you became almost inseparable and while Eddie said he never would he applied and got into your college as well. The three of you were set to start next semester and you were the most excited you’d ever been.
Robin reached out here and there but you knew Steve meant more to her and you weren’t angry about it. Nancy pretty much just acted like you didn’t exist which you didn’t care. Everything was pretty good,you were getting over Steve slowly but surely.
Everything came to a boiling point though one night at Eddie’s trailer. You and Johnny had came over to smoke and just hang out, when you all three saw Steve’s car pull in you didn’t even glance a second time. You all assumed he was there to see Billy who you weren’t ever really friends with,he knew of what happened but you were sure it was Steve twisted version.
You giggled at Eddie as he passed the blunt to Johnny and watched as Billy came outside. Nancy and Steve both climbed from his car and then max climbed out afterwards. He drove her home, that’s sweet.
The three of you weren’t paying anymore attention then the other but when Steve started to walk over with Billy and Nancy trailing behind you knew something bad was about to happen. “Since when did you smoke?” Steve asked and you just shrugged “we all need to talk because you three ignoring everyone is breaking friendships.” He stood there hands on his hips talking to you all like you were some kid. “Dude, just cmon.” Billy pulled at his arm but Steve shook it off.
Eddie was about to snap and you put your hand on his arm standing up and walking off the small porch to Steve. “You wanna do this in front of your girlfriend Harrington?” He rolled his eyes “nothing she hasn’t seen before” you nodded “true I guess. We aren’t ignoring anyone we talk to them all. In fact Dustin was just at my house last night with his mom for dinner. We..” you started looking back to wave at the other two men. “Just don’t talk to you.” You said simply “why? Because you’re bitter?” You shrugged “because I’m over it” Steve huffed out w laugh.
“Over it?” You nodded “do I need to clarify? I’m over you Steve. Is that better? Clearer for you?” He crossed his arms “so, you just what..? Fuck these dudes until you stopped thinking about me? Like a fucking slut.” Now both Johnny and Eddie were up and off the porch as well. “Maybe I did.” You said with a shrug “someone might as well make me feel good” you prodded and Steve just stared at you.
“I have something they don’t though, your virginity.” He said it like it like was some sort of trophy. You laughed though and couldn’t help the way he looked taken aback at why you’re laughing. “Yeah well they both have something you don’t.” Steve nodded “and what’s that?” “Me.” You stated plainly. “Why don’t you guys just go, you’re starting unnecessary drama” Johnny said. “Technically you’re on my property so I suggest you get the fuck off it” Eddie added both of them stepping to move around between you and Steve.
“And if I don’t?” Steve antagonize, Eddie glanced back at you as if to make sure what he was about to do was okay. You shrugged, wasn’t your fault anymore. Eddie turned back around to give him one more chance stepping up so he was now in Steve’s face “I said, I suggest you get the fuck off it Harrington.” Steve wasn’t backing down though “which I replied with what’re you gonna do if I don’t?” Steve shoved Eddie and you tugged Johnny back before he got caught in the middle of it.
Sure enough Eddie threw a punch making Steve stumble but not knocking him over,a second punch did the trick though and Eddie was just on him. One punch after another probably breaking his nose in some fashion as Billy tried to pull him off. “You aren’t gonna do anything??” Nancy asked and you looked at her “he did it to himself.” You watched her roll her eyes and you huffed “Eddie. That’s enough” he stopped and got up shoving Billy away from him as he walked over to you. “Stay the fuck away from us” Eddie spat out as the trio of you walked inside leaving a bloody Steve on Eddie’s front lawn.