Tongue In Cheek Quotes

“If talk is cheap, then being silent is expensive. And many people it seems, can't afford to buy into it.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Twist a tongue, and tongue a twist how many twists can a tongue twister twist around the twisting tongue.”
― Jazz Feylynn

“I am told that our chroniclers' practice of inventing speeches for great persons whose lives they write is unscholarly.”
― Poul Anderson, The High Crusade

“Watch your mouth: The language we use creates the reality we experience.”
― Michael Hyatt

“He was a good storyteller, but he told the kind of stories that made children run away from the village and adults look for a length of rope and some soap.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Let’s see, you will need a project plan, resource allocation, a timeline, test cycles, a budget, a contingency budget, lots of diagrams, flowcharts, a media release, a strategic vision, a charter, technical specifications, business rules, travel expenses, a development environment, deployment instructions, a user acceptance test, stationary, overtime schedule, a mock-up, prototypes…”
“Tell me,” she said, “did the people who built the pyramids have any of those?”
“Mostly, they had beer. Come to think of it, if there had been such a thing as a Business Analyst in ancient Egypt, then the hieroglyph for it would have been very graphical, if you know what I mean.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Are you single?” inquired − rather bluntly − the email titled “Career Opportunity.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“It probably wasn’t entirely her fault that she was such a bitter person. Having a name like Grace can be a serious stigma, especially when nature has endowed you with about as much charm as that of a disillusioned walrus.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Everyone is entitled to an opinion… but you may only express it openly once you’ve earned the right to open your mouth in the company of others.”
― A.J. Vosse

“Master Dung’s study was silent. So silent, in fact, that one might have been able to hear a gnat passing air, if only an obligingly flatulent gnat had happened nearby.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“There was a rare quality about Nurse Grace’s smile. It was the knowledge that sooner or later her smile would inspire some witty observer to say something around the lines of, “Every time you do this, an angel farts”.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“What makes the Arctic VarChar so unusual and popular is that each bite has a different taste. As you carve your way into the ersatz fillet, you might find yourself chewing on smoked salmon, tender tuna, marinated mackerel, seared snapper, raw roe, baked barracuda, grilled goldfish, or even pickled perch, to alliterate just a few.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Merkin had used only one drop of the “just soap.” Two drops would have made her Master walk slightly awkwardly. Three drops would have made a Victorian gentleman utter something really lustful, such as “you transfix me quite.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“The conversation had been so lacking in quality that it actually made Toddlers and Tiaras look like good entertainment by comparison.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“FEBRIZIUM();” said Buggeroff, and the foul smell immediately disappeared as if by, well − Magic.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Let’s just say that once the party was over, the Tribe had the decency to put most of the things back into place with the possible, and otherwise notable, exception of the platypus and a moronic drinking game that later evolved into the imperial measurement system.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“On a scale ranging from very little to too much, Merkin could just about categorize the amount of personal data stored in Master Loo’s computer as a shitload.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Nafsha is so concerned with my virginity. I am beginning to think she would wed me herself. Alas, the only tool she might use to make me a woman is her tongue -- and it is far too sharp for me to allow it beneath my skirts.”
― Libbie Hawker, Daughter of Sand and Stone

“Did you know you just put the peel in the pan and the potatoes down the waste disposal?' he enquired with interest.
'It's a new recipe.'
His lips twitched but his expression remained solemn. 'The results should be...interesting.”
― Kim Lawrence, Wife by Agreement

“The early bird gets the worm that should have slept in.”
― J. Seth Davey

“A young receptionist greeted him with a buoyancy born of an excellent benefits package.”
― Monica Wood, The One-in-a-Million Boy

“And this,' Astrid says, gesturing at a wiry gentleman wearing eyeglasses and a houndstooth suit in need of pressing, standing a little distance away from the rest of the group, looking slightly uncomfortable, 'is Dexter Palmer, and he's a—what?'

'I,' says Dexter Palmer. 'Um.'

'He's a novelist,' Astrid brays, and Harold looks at Dexter, at his right arm rubbing his threadbare left elbow. Harold sees the oaken trunk in the corner of Dexter's filthy downtown loft with an enormous padlock on it, sees the tens of thousands of pages of handwritten manuscript that fill it. He sees the stub of the tallow candle on Dexter's rickety wooden desk, purchased for a dollar-fifty at a rummage sale. He sees the short leg of the desk propped up with a seven-hundred page study of phrenology, printed during the age of miracles. He sees Dexter's eyes going bad by candlelight, a whole diopter lost with each late night. 'Zounds, I am working on my masterpiece,' Dexter Palmer yells hoarsely, disturbing the neighbors. He slings a cup half-full of tepid chamomile tea at the wall, where it shatters.

'Dexter's writing a novel,' Astrid says brightly.

After a few minutes of introductory cross-talk, the group of five splits into separate conversations: Harold talks with his sister and Charmaine, while Marlon ends up with Dexter. To Harold, Marlon looks cornered—Harold can't hear what Dexter's saying, but whatever he's talking about, he's clearly going on about it at length and in fine detail. Maybe Marlon is getting to hear all about the novel. Every once in a while Marlon will look at Harold and theatrically roll his eyes and sigh, but Dexter, who's frantically gesticulating, wrapped up in whatever he's chattering about, doesn't notice.”
― Dexter Palmer, The Dream of Perpetual Motion

“That friend of hers has got to go, though. You're lucky you got stuck with that Dexter guy instead of her.'

'Yeah, but that Dexter couldn't shut his piehole either,' Marlon says. 'I mean, Christ. Artists and writers—let them kill each other off in cage matches; let God sort 'em out.”
― Dexter Palmer, The Dream of Perpetual Motion

“Guns are used to satisfies a sharp tongue. we all know guns don't kill people, a wrong move of your tongue can kill someone, or can start a war. People kills people.”
― Beta Metani'Marashi

“The new settlement was no nearer or dearer to her than, say, America, where they said people, in order to not wear out their feet, walked on their heads.”
― Valentin Rasputin, Farewell to Matyora

“Maybe if I take enough pain meds, I’ll be able to finally ride one.”
― Becca Seymour, No More Secrets

“You’re the only person I ever spent time with, went out or stayed in for dinner with, hung out with. Hell, we even went with each other when visiting our families. That’s like… the most committed relationship I’ve ever been in.”
― Becca Seymour, No More Secrets

“Like all good advice, Moon didn't think he was going to have much chance to follow it.”
― Martha Wells, The Serpent Sea