Caligula (1979)

All roads led to Rome for the late thespians Sir John Gielgud and Peter O’Toole when they decided to appear in Caligula (1979) with Malcolm McDowell in the title role. He came, he saw, he conquered — but not necessarily in that order! Focused on the decadence of Ancient Rome, this porn movie (yes, porn movie) was penned by highbrow scribe Gore Vidal and produced by Penthouse magazine founder Bob Guccione. The result is a $17.5 million skin flick about the infamously insane emperor with an insatiable appetite for sex. Needless to say, Rome wasn’t built in a day, probably because everyone was too busy getting it on with one another! As such, the bodacious biopic comes complete with full penetration and slurped schlongs as it follows famous ancients such as Caesonia (Helen Mirren), Cassius Chaerea (Paolo Bonacelli), Claudius (Giancarlo Badessi), Drusilla (Teresa Ann Savoy), Livilla (Mirella D’Angelo), Macro (Guido Mannari), and Proculus (Donato Placido). The latter actor gives McDowell a fight for the film’s freakiest scenes. Indeed, each one shows his junk and rump in odd moments of fornication and lust. But Donato does Malcolm one (or two) better since he’s naked in a couple more scenes. In other words, the dude’s privates are public at the movie’s 01:15- and 01:40-minute marks. No wonder this sexy epic inspired copycat skin flicks including Bruno Mattei’s Caligula and Messalina (1981) and Joe D’Amato’s Caligula... The Untold Story (1982). With these Roman-set pics, history comes to life — and so will your Lappian Way!