CONVERSATION CONFIDENCE

with Leil Lowndes

TAPE 1A: HOW TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE FIRST IMPRESSION
Introduces the series and gives you 2 techniques you can start using immediately to create a dynamic first impression in
the first minute or less. The first is a nonverbal technique which makes you come across as a confident, friendly and
outgoing person. The other is a verbal device which creates a feeling of instant rapport with your conversational partner.
TAPE IB: HOW TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE, ANYTIME, ANYPLACE
Presents three techniques you can use on new acquaintances and friends alike to dazzle them with your friendliness and
sincerity. Includes an 8-point checklist to use while conversing with everybody to make them feel that they (and therefore
you) are a very special person.
TAPE 2A: THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK
discover the secrets of making charismatic conversation with new acquaintances, and why the first words out of your
mouth are crucial. Includes a 4-point Small Talk Checklist to make sure you are on target with your opening words. Then
learn the Secret of Small Talk to keep all your small talk appropriate and engrossing.
TAPE 2B: TRANSITION FROM SMALL TALK TO DEEPER TALK
Here are 6 techniques to shift from small talk into communication which is more engrossing and profound. Includes a
linguistic trick to revive a conversation that is petering out, and another to uncover your conversational partners' hot
buttons. Then learn a dozen rapport establishing phrases, and discover 2 unique methods of making a new acquaintance
subconsciously feel like you are an old friend.
TAPE 3A: HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROW][)
Arms you with two techniques to make stimulating conversation in any group of people no matter how little you have in
common. The first gives you methods when you know in advance what type of people you'll be talking to. The other is for
when you "go in cold" and need to talk intelligently with a diverse 'group of strangers.
TAPE 3B: MEGA REWARDS FOR MEGALISTENING
Introduces a unique approach to listening. Brings the difficult task of absorbing the speaker's messages to life and makes it
fun. You'll learn to pick up every subtlety be listening like a translator listens, a dancer listens, a film maker listens, a
psychiatrist listens, ...and finally like a lover listens. With the 4-Point Listening Checklist, you then uncover their hidden
messages and learn to give responses aimed right at their heart.
TAPE 4A: HOW TO WORK A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM
Gives you the 6 questions politicians and serious socializers ask themselves before going to a party. Learn how to meet the
people you want, and then how to gracefully get into __ and out of __ conversations with them. Practice the technique to
present yourself as a fascinating person when they ask you, "And what do you do?" Discover the one item you should
wear to every party, and learn the best way to follow up on the important people you meet.
TAPE 4B: LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING
Studies say approximately 75% of communication comes through body language. So here's the complete course in getting
yours shaped up to express confidence, composure and credibility. You'll also learn how to read the other person's body
language to unearth their hidden messages or tell if they are lying. And master Eyeball Selling, a technique to convince
your listener of your ideas by watching their movements. Finally, you'll learn how to tell if someone of the opposite sex
finds you attractive.
TAPE 5A: REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYBODY .. BY PHONE
Become a master phone communicator through these 10 topnotch telephone techniques. Learn how to show more
personality on the phone and make everyone you call feel special. You'll learn ways to keep people absorbed in your
phone conversations, and how subtle changes in the words you use make a big difference. You'll also learn what kind of
voice mail messages to leave to make people perceive you as more intelligent and call you back.

TAPE 6B: CHEWING UP TOUGH COOKIES

Learn the predictable patterns of tough cookies' annoying behavior, and how to chew them up so they don't even feel
bitten. Here are step-by-step methods for dealing with negativists, constant talkers, the super-agreeable people who
always let you down, hostile aggressive bullies, and snipers. Finally learn the magic catchall sentence that turns the worst
of them around.
TAPE 7A: DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS AND DIFF RENT GENDERS
Throughout history, philosophers and psychiatrists have divided people into four basic personality types. In this tape you
learn how to determine your basic personality type. (Are you a box, a circle, a triangle or a squiggle?) Then you learn how
to relate to the other boxes, circles, triangles and squiggles of the world. To further clarify our complicated
communications conundrum, you'll examine differences in talking to men and talking to women.
TAPE 7B: HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL... AND WIN
Master The Converter, a powerful 5-step tool to persuade, sell, negotiate... and to win! Learn a foolproof pattern to
sequence your concepts so you get your important ideas across. then how to tailor your points depending on who you're
talking to. Discover ways to make your message hit home with real stories from your own life.
TAPE 8A: ADVANCED RAPPORT ESTABLISHING TECHNIQUES
Explores 7 subliminal rapport-establishing techniques. Learn how to emulate and capitalize on your conversational
partners' background and experiences, clone their perceptions, and then create analogies and similes from their world. This
tape gives you an advanced telephone technique for both deep rapport and crystal clear comprehension. Finally, here is a
method for winning your conversational partners' hearts by doing their thinking for them!
TAPE 8B: HOW TO TALK WITH TIGERS AND NOT GET EATEN A_LIVE
This tape takes conversation to its highest level. It gives you sophisticated communication techniques which can mean the
difference between staying on _ or toppling off the top rung of the social or corporate ladder. You'll learn advanced
concepts like providing a Safe Haven for high level contacts, and always Knowing the Score in any relationship.
The course ends on a lighter note with The Ten Common Phrases you should never ever say in everyday conversation!

CONVERSATION CONFIDENCE WORKBOOK

Leil Lowndes
TAPE 1A: HOW TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE FIRST IMPRESSION
Introduces the series and gives you 2 techniques to create a dynamic first impression in the first minute or less. The
first is a non-verbal technique which makes you come across as a confident, friendly and outgoing person. The other
is a verbal device which creates a feeling of instant rapport with your conversational partner.
********************
The Carnegie Institute of Technology study revealed that in all fields:
__% of financial success in life is due to professional knowledge.
__% of financial success in life is due to good communications skills.
Rank, in order, (#1 through #6) the top skills employers most consider when hiring:
__ Previous work experience
__ Recommendations from previous employers
__ Good communication skills
__ Professional Training
__ Number of years of schooling
__ A good attitude
The first impression you make on a new acquaintance
20%
What you say
30%
The sound of your voice
50%
Your body language, your expressions,
and how you move
NON_VERBAL TECHNIQUE: THE HELLO OLD FRIEND TECHNIQUE
To make a dynamic impression, and transform your body into that of an open, warm and friendly person without even
thinking about it, imagine your n
a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is an o _ _ f _ _ _ _ _.
VERBAL TECHNIQUE: ECHOING
To give your conversational partner the feeling that you like their "family,"
use their arbitrary c _ _ _ _ _ of w _ _ _ _
Page 1

TAPE 1B: HOW TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE, ANYTIME, ANYPLACE

Presents 3 techniques you can use on new acquaintances and friends alike to dazzle them with your friendliness and
sincerity. Includes an 8_point checklist to use while conversing with everybody to make them feel that they (and
therefore you) are a very special person.
********************
Technique #1: YOUR PERSONALITY SOFTENER
To seem captivated by your conversational partner, use this 8-point checklist which transforms your body into that of a
warm and friendly person.
S is for __________
While you are looking at someone, keep your eyes on theirs with an occasional glance at their most attractive facial
feature.
O is for __________
When you stand in this position at a party, people will instinctively gravitate toward you.
F is for __________
When you take this body position, you reassure your CP (Conversational Partner) that you genuinely like them.
T is for __________
In a new relationship, women can use this technique more often than men. However as a relationship progresses, men
should do it more!
E is for __________
If you don't practice this technique, it will give your CP the subliminal message that you are bored with them.
N is for __________
This does not necessarily mean "I agree with you." But it does mean, "I understand."
E is for __________
Without this attribute, people will be bored with you no matter what you're talking about.
R is for __________
You can give your CP the subliminal feeling that you are attracted to them by playing with this technique.
NOTE: ALL of the above warm and friendly body language signals happen automatically when you use the Hello Old
Friend technique.
Page 2

Technique #2: THE FLOODING SMILE

To make everyone feel your smile is genuine and especially for them, don't smile too q _ _ _ _ _ _ .Look at them for a few
seconds. Drink them in through your eyes. And then let a s _ _ _, warm, smile of appreciation flood over your face. And
remember, the sincere smile involves your whole face, even your e _ _ _.
Technique #3: THE STICKY EYES TECHNIQUE
The time difference between tearing our eyes away from someone we love and looking away from a bore is a f _ _ _ _ _ _
_of a s _ _ _ _ _ but it signifies "rejection" or "acceptance." To give your CP the impression that you are captivated by
what they are saying, let your eyes l _ _ _ _ a f _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of a
s _ _ _ _ _ longer on them before looking away.
Technique #4: THE VISUAL VOYAGE TECHNIQUE
To give your CP the impression that you enjoy looking at them, take a visual voyage all over their
f _ _ _ while they are talking, concentrating mostly on their e _ _ _. Often
s _ _ _ _ _ _ makes us avoid looking directly at someone.
Technique #5: THE SNORE TECHNIQUE
To make even boring people feel you find them interesting, use this beastly little trick. Think, "W _ _ _ a
s _ _ _ _ this person is!" And then check your body for the S, the N, the 0, the R and the E from the acronym above. And,
believe it or not, even you will begin to enjoy the conversation!
Name three people you will intend to use YOUR PERSONALITY SOFTENER on:
Friend:
Family member:
Co-Worker:
After you use this technique on them, record their reactions. Did you notice how their response to you was more friendly
than usual?
Now, try the SOFTENER technique on the next person you meet and record their reactions to you:

TAPE 2A: THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK

Discover the secrets of making charismatic conversation with new acquaintances, and why the first words out of
your mouth are crucial. Includes a 4_point Small Talk Checklist to make sure you are on target with your opening
words. Then learn the Secret of Small Talk to keep all your small talk appropriate and engrossing.
Some important points on small talk to remember
The secret of small talk is: It should be________
The most important factor to consider in making is small talk is the s _ _ _ _ _ _ of what you are saying.
Like in music, in small talk, the r _ _ _ _ _ the m _ _ _ _ _and the f _ _ _ _ _ _ are more important than your words.
Whenever first meeting someone, let your s _ _ _ _ and your b _ _ _
L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ carry the day.
Concerning your first words, have the courage of your own t _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Technique #1: THE COMM_YOU_NICATION TECHNIQUE

Try to start as many sentences as you can with the magic little three-letter word,

Technique #2: THE RESIST THE "QUICK_ME_TOO" TECHNIQUE

Whenever you hear that you have something in common with your conversational partner, the longer you wait to reveal it,
the more i _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ he or she will be.
THE SMALL TALK CHECKLIST Your very first words should be...
1) N _ _ _ _ _ _and not t _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
When talking with a stranger, make sure that your first words reveal everything you want from that person.
2) R _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Try to make your first words relate to what is going on at the moment.
3) P _ _ _ _ _ _ _, C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, or E _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
If you say anything unpleasant or disagree too early in your conversation with a new acquaintance, that is 100% of their
impression of your total personality.
4) E _ _ _ to a _ _ _ _ w _ _ _ _
In your first conversation with a new acquaintance, agreement on small points often subliminally determines whether the
conversation will continue or not
There are two kinds of people in this life. Those who walk into a room and say
"Well, _ _ _ _ _ __! And those who walk in and say,
"Ah, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _! You want to be one of the latter.

TAPE 2B: TRANSITION FROM SMALL TALK TO DEEPER TALK

Here are 6 techniques to shift from small talk into communication which is more engrossing and profound.
Includes a linguistic trick to revive a conversation that is petering out, and another to uncover your conversational
partners' hot buttons. Then learn a dozen rapport establishing phrases, and discover 2 unique methods of making a
new acquaintance subconsciously feel like you are an old friend.
Technique #1: CHERRY PICKING
To make the conversation more interesting for your conversational partner, and to slide out of small talk, adjust the cherry
picker in your ear. Listen for any a _ _ _ _ _ _, any d _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, any d _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, or any mention of another p _
_ _ _, t _ _ _ or p _ _ _ _ _

Technique #2: EMPLOY EMPATHIZERS

Make liberal use of simple, short, supportive statements like "I can understand how you felt about that." Or "You made a
wise choice," or "I'm so happy for you." Write a few of your own empathizes here:
Asking about someone's job:
What is a good substitute phrase if you are hesitant to ask a new acquaintance, "What do you do?"

Technique #3: THE MOOD MATCH

Before jumping into deeper conversation make a mood match. Take p _ _ _ _ _ _ p _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of the other person
to determine if they're in the mood to talk more meaningfully.
The sequence of going from small talk to deeper conversation.
1) Make a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2) Use their _ _ _ _
3) Ask them an _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ opener.
Make sure your opening questions have a subtext of a _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Technique #4: THE TREE TECHNIQUE

When you get stuck for good conversation, use the tree technique. Ask about a person's
r _ _ _ _, their t _ _ _ _, their b _ _ _ _ _ _ _, or their l _ _ _ _ _.
The progression of appropriate conversation from its most shallow small talk to closer communication
goes from:
1) Between strangers: _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2) Between acquaintances: _ _ _ _ _
3) Between friends: discussion of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
4) Between intimates: talk about _ _ _ and _ _.
Technique #5: SIGNAL SCRAMBLING
To make new acquaintances subliminally feel like your friend, cut quickly to number
____ above and use the discussion mode of intimates.
Technique #6: CAPTIONING
To make a new acquaintance feel like an old friend, develop a private joke (or even a pet name.) Whenever your
conversational partner is telling a story, remember some part of it that they are _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, and then refer to
it later.
TAPE 3A: HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROWD
Arms you with 2 techniques to make stimulating conversation in any group of people no matter how little
you have in common. The first gives you methods when you know in advance what type of people you'll
be talking to. The other is for when you "go in cold" and need to talk intelligently with a diverse group of
strangers.
Technique #1: CONVERSATION HOMEWORK
When you know the interests of the people you will be talking to, ask a friend who
shares that interest about the i _ _ _ _ _ _ i _ _ b _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and the
i _ _ _ _ _ _ h _ _ b _ _ _ _ _ _.
Whenever discussing someone else's interests, it's important to throw out a
l _ _ _ _ _ b _ _ _ to show you are knowledgeable.

Technique #2: SCRAMBLE THERAPY

A technique when you don't you know the interests of the people you will be talking to: Once every three weeks do
something totally out of your pattern to pick up the right words and the right questions to make you conversant in that
interest for the rest of your life.
Scramble therapy not only involves doing lots of things just once. It also means: Occasionally reading a different n _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ or m _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Turning to a different s _ _ _ _ _ _ of your local _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Going to lots of l _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Ask your friends about any special insider's g _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in their interest.
TAPE 3B: MEGA REWARDS FOR MEGALISTENING
Introduces a unique approach to listening. Brings the difficult task of absorbing the speaker's messages to life and
makes it fun. You'll learn to pick up every subtlety by listening like a translator listens, a dancer listens, a filmmaker
listens, a psychiatrist listens, and finally like a lover listens. With the 4-Point Listening Checklist, you then uncover
your conversational partner's hidden messages and learn to give responses aimed right at their heart.
********************
The human mind is capable of thinking _ to _ times faster than the ear can listen.
The five filters that words go through from the time they leave the other person's mouth until they reach our brain:
1) The _ _ _ Filter
2) The _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Filter
3) The _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Filter
4) The _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Filter
5) The _ _ _ Filter
We only up hearing about ___ % of what someone says.

The six ways to listen:

Listen like a translator: To make what your CP is clearer and more memorable, p _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ what he or she is saying
in your own mind.
Listen like a dancer. To express total empathy with your CP, become a w _ _ _ _ b _ _ _ l _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Listen like a film maker: Since we remember only 7% of what we hear, and 85% of what we see, turn what we hear into
what we see by p _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ it like two little TV sets in front of our eyes.
Listen like a psychiatrist: Listen between the lines and ask yourself, how does my CP _ _ _ _ about what he or she is
saying.
Listen like a lover: Realize that often the point of having a conversation is simply
To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The four-point listening checklist.
While listening, ask yourself the WHEW questions.
W ___________________?
H ___________________?
E ___________________?
W ___________________?

TAPE 4A: HOW TO WORK A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM

Gives you the 6 questions politicians and serious socializers ask themselves before going to a party. Learn how to
meet the people you want, and then how to gracefully get into and out of conversations with them. Discover a
technique to present yourself as a fascinating person when they ask you, "And what do you do?" Discover the one
item you should wear to every party, and learn the best way to follow up on the important people you meet.
THE SIXPOINT PARTY CHECKLIST
Before going to a party, ask yourself the following questions:
W _ _ is going to be there?
W _ _ _ should I arrive?
W _ _ is the party being given?
W _ _ _ _ is the collective mind of the people at the party?
W _ _ _ should I take to this particular party?
H _ _ am I going to follow up on the people I've met at the party?
Why is it a mistake to head right for the refreshment table?
Why is it a mistake to talk mostly with your friends at a party?
What is the simplest thing that both men and women are afraid to do in public if they don't know each other but is the
most effective way to meet people?

Technique #1: THE WHATZAT TECHNIQUE

Search the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ of any attractive stranger you want to talk to and find something you can compliment and or ask
about. Also, whenever you go to a party, wear an unusual piece of j _ _ _ _ _ _ or c _ _ _ _ _ _ _that anyone who finds you
"the attractive stranger" can comment on.
Technique #2: THE WHOZAT TECHNIQUE
When you spot someone you would like to meet, ask the party giver for
_____________________. If they are too busy, ask for a sentence or two
________________________ so you have an opening approach.
Technique #3: THE "LET'S MINGLE" TECHNIQUE
When you'd like to move on and talk to someone else, what should you say to your conversational partner?
Technique #4: THE "LATEST NEWS" TECHNIQUE
What's the last thing you should do before leaving for a party?
Technique #5: THE NUTSHELL RESUME
Whatever your job, have something to say about your own work.
Technique #6: THE INTRODUCTORY BAIT
When introducing people to each other at a party, give their names and
______________________________________________________
Never say, "I'm terrible with names. What is yours again?" Instead say:

Technique #7: THE PERSONALIZED POSTCARD

Get a personalized post cards with _________________________________________printed on it.
To follow up on an interesting contact at the party, send the card and refer to
________________________________________ to personalize it.

TAPE 4B: LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING

Studies say approximately 75% of communication comes through body language. So here's the complete course in
getting your's shaped up to express confidence, composure and credibility. You'll also learn how to read the other
person's body language to unearth their hidden messages or tell if they are lying. And master Eyeball Selling, a
technique to convince your listener of your ideas by watching their movements. Finally, you'll learn how to tell if
someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive.
********************
The study of body language is a science called _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
How can you tell if someone is lying by watching their body language?
You can determine if someone is happy with what they are seeing or hearing, by watching the s _ _ _ or their p _ _ _ _ _.
How can you tell a sincere smile from a false one?
If you are having a disagreement with a good friend or someone you love, say what you must, but let body position m _ _
_ _ _ his or hers to show solidarity.
How can you tell who is the boss or "ranking individual" in any group?
EYEBALL SELLING
You can plan your sales pitch for your product, service or just your ideas by watching your listener's body positions. What
should you do if you observe the following?
1) Study their head position. Is their head turned away?
2) Look at their body position. Is it turning away?
3) Does their facial expression change? Become lively?
4) Does your listener reach for an object?
5) Are they pointing their fingers?
6) Study their hands. Are their palms up?
7) Is their head is nodding up and down?
How to know if someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive:
According to a scientific study, only 1 man in __ knew if a new female acquaintance was interested in him.
Gentlemen, if you look at a woman you don't know and she looks away, it indicates she is interested if she looks up again
at you within __ seconds.
Determine the inches between your noses when you are chatting. If she lets you get within __ inches, she likes you.

TAPE 5A: REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYBODY BY PHONE

Become a master phone communicator through these 10 topnotch telephone techniques. Learn how to show more
personality on the phone and make everyone you call feel special. You'll learn ways to keep people absorbed in
your phone conversations, and how subtle changes in the words you use make a big difference. You'll also learn
what kind of voice mail messages to leave to make people perceive you as more intelligent and call you back.
About __ % of your energy level is lost over the phone.
Technique #1: VERBAL SMILES'N NODS
To replace the body language part of you communication, on the phone use verbal equivalents. What is your verbal
equivalent of:
A smile? ___________________________________________________________________
A nod? _____________________________________________________________________
An expression of surprise? ______________________________________________________
A questioning look? ___________________________________________________________
An admiring look? ____________________________________________________________
Technique #2: THE "OH WOW, IT'S YOU!" TECHNIQUE
Better than smiling before you answer the phone, exaggerate the warmth of your hello _ _ _ _ _ you find out who it is.
Technique #3: NAME DROPPING TECHNIQUE (THEIR'S)
To further personalize your phone communication, make even more liberal use of their _ _ _ _ on the phone than you
would in person.
Technique #4: THE CONSTANTLY CHANGING VOICE MAIL MESSAGE
Studies have shown that people are perceived as more i _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and more on top of their
b _ _ _ _ _ _ _ if they leave a voice mail message that they change every day or even every few hours.
What's wrong with this voice mail message that says, "I'm either away from my desk or on the other phone right now?"
Your voice mail message is like a verbal a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ for your business.
Technique #5: THE CLIFF HANGER MESSAGE
Whenever you leave a voice mail message for someone, try to leave a cliff hanger message so it gives them
_________________________

Technique #6: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TIME?

Whenever you call anyone, always ask, "Is this a g _ _ _ t _ _ _ to talk?"

Technique #7: LISTEN FOR BACKGROUND NOISES

When you're listening to someone on the phone and you hear another line ringing or a dog or baby, ask if they:

Technique #8: SALUTE THE SPOUSE

Always a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ the person who answers the phone before asking for your party.

Technique #9: THE PROP CHECK

Get all your telephone m _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in order before answering the phone.

Technique #10: THE MAKE BELIEVE HOLD BUTTON

At home, don't let a family member s _ _ _ _ for you to come to the phone.
Fill in the following acronym for sensitive hold button operation. When you must put them on hold, tell your caller:
W _________________________________________________________
H __________________________________________________________
A __________________________________________________________
T __________________________________________________________
Never say just "thank you" at the end of a conversation. Always say:

TAPE 5B: PUT PIZAZZ IN YOUR CONVERSATION WITH PRO'S TECHNIQUES

Discern how you sound to your listeners and how to regulate the speed and tone of your voice. Discover image
consultants' techniques to put passion in your conversation, and professional speakers' techniques such as using
dramatic silences, collecting rich phrases and humor to entertain your listeners... and much more. Finally, learn
actors' techniques to be completely relaxed when giving presentations to groups of people.
Record one of your phone conversations and listen to it afterward. Now, pretend you are a radio drama producer. What
role would you cast your voice in?
Count the number of words you speak per minute.
Technique #1: TRANSFERENCE
Think of something you really enjoy talking about (baseball? country music? tennis? ballet? your children? your
computer?)
Now, with that in mind, use the transference Technique described in the tape.
Technique #2: THE TRUMPET BLARE PAUSE TECHNIQUE
What should you do to make sure someone listens to your next words?
Technique #3: YOUR PERSONAL THESAURUS
Write a common adjective you use very often here. ________________________
Now look it up in a thesaurus or book of synonyms. Read some of the synonyms and choose three or four that you feel
comfortable with.
___________________
___________________
___________________
___________________
Now practice working those words into your everyday conversations.
When choosing phrases, choose the ones that have the most v _ _ _ _ _ impact.
Make liberal use of q _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, h _ _ _ _ and s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to make your points.
When you are presenting your important ideas, this body position is the most effective:
What should you do with your hands?
Technique #4: FONDLE THE ROOM TECHNIQUE
In order to appear completely confident when you speak to a group, try to t _ _ _ _ the space you'll be talking in. If you
can't do that, l _ _ _ carefully at it. And if you don't even have the opportunity to do that, be sure to v _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ it.
What is the worst time of the day to make a presentation?
What is the worst day to make a presentation?
The second worst?
The best 2 days to make a presentation:
When you must persuade, convince, cajole or otherwise bring someone around to your way of thinking, dress like them,
but
TAPE 6A: THE POWER OF PRAISE - THE FOLLY OF FLATTERY
Elevate praise to an art form and win many friends. Master the Killer Compliment, the Little Strokes compliment,
the Implied Compliment, the Grapevine Compliment, the Carrier Pigeon Compliment, the Bulls Eye Compliment, the
Knee Jerk Compliment, and the Tracking compliment. You'll also discover the Boomerang Technique to make other
people want to compliment you!
Technique #1: THE KILLER COMPLIMENT

4) Make sure it is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
5) The Killer compliment should be _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
6) Make sure it for a quality the recipient is _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Technique #2: LITTLE STROKES

List 4 "little strokes" phrases that fit your style that you might start giving to people.
_______________________________
_______________________________
_______________________________
_______________________________

Technique #3: THE IMPLIED COMPLIMENT

An implied compliment is one you bury in the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ part of your sentence.

Technique #4: THE GRAPEVINE COMPLIMENT

Think of something nice about a friend of yours:
Now write the name of a mutual friend the two of you have:
The next time you see your mutual friend, tell them the nice quality friend A has. (And then just wait for them to pass it on
to A.)

Technique #5: THE CARRIER PIGEON COMPLIMENT

Think of something nice someone you know recently said about somebody else you know:
Now, the next time you see that "somebody else", pass the other person's compliment on to them.

Technique #6: THE BULLS-EYE COMPLIMENT

Write the name of someone you have warm feelings toward or a person who, for social or business reasons, you want to
establish a solid relationship with.
What do you assume they are most proud of and what quality would they most like to be recognized for?
Resolve to compliment them on that quality next time you see them.

Technique #7: THE KNEE-JERK COMPLIMENT

Why is the timing of the Knee Jerk compliment so crucial?

Technique #8: TRACKING

Everyone is the star of a movie called: _ _ _ _ _ _
Technique #9: BOOMERANGING
Why is boomeranging even better than just saying "Thank you" when you receive a compliment.
TAPE 6B: CHEWING UP TOUGH COOKIES
Learn the predictable patterns of tough cookies' annoying behavior, and how to chew them up so they don't even
feel bitten. Here are step-by-step methods for dealing with negativists, constant talkers, the super-agreeable people
who always let you down, hostile aggressive bullies, and snipers. Finally learn the magic catchall sentence that turns
the worst of them around.
To get along better with a difficult person in your life, first write their name here:
_______________________

DEALING WITH THE "SUPER-AGREEABLE WHO ALWAYS LETS YOU DOWN"

The first step in dealing with a super-agreeable is:
DEALING WITH MACK TRUCK, THE "HOSTILE AGGRESSIVE BULLY"
The first step in dealing with a hostile aggressive bully is:
DEALING WITH SNELLA, THE -SNIPER"
The first step in dealing with a sniper is:
THE "THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU" TECHNIQUE
This is a catchall technique for dealing with all tough cookies. Simply say their name, and then say,
____________________________________________________

TAPE 7A: DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS AND DIFFERENT GENDERS
Throughout history, philosophers and psychiatrists have divided people into four basic personality types. In this
tape you learn how to determine you basic personality type. (Are you a box, a circle, a triangle or a squiggle?) Then
you learn how to relate to the other boxes, circles, triangles and squiggles of the world. To further clarify our
complicated communications conundrum, you'll examine differences in talking to men and talking to women.
Which of the following four geometric shapes do you "feel" most like? (You may choose a primary and a secondary
"shape.")

List some adjectives which describe the box personality type:

List some adjectives which describe the circle personality type:
List some adjectives which describe the triangle personality type:
List some adjectives which describe the squiggle personality type:
If you go into someone's office, you might determine which personality type they are by the furniture arrangement. Which
"shape" is the occupant of the following offices:
One chair, distant from occupant's desk, piles of paperwork on the desk:
A _________________ personality works in this office.
No chairs but the occupant's, manuals lined up on shelf:
A _________________ personality works in this office.
Office constantly changing, often in disarray:
A _________________ personality works in this office.
Several chairs arranged in a ring, many photos and mementos:
A _________________ personality works in this office.
DEALING WITH THE FOUR PERSONALITY TYPES:

And use words like:

DIFFERENCES IN TALKING WITH MEN AND TALKING WITH WOMEN:
A man's greatest fear in life is:
A woman's greatest fear in life is:

TAPE 7B: HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL..AND WIN

Master The Converter, a powerful 5-step tool to persuade, sell, negotiate... and to win! Learn a foolproof pattern to
sequence your concepts so you get your important ideas across. Then how to tailor your points depending on who
you're talking to. Discover ways to make your message hit home with real stories from your own life.
*******************
THE CONVERTER
THE OVERTURE
(How is... How are...)
THE ASK/LISTEN & RESTATE PHASE
(Tell me...As I understand it...)
SET UP THE BIG QUESTION
(Given this scenario, can we...)
THE THINKING PHASE
(Hmm...)
THE BIG ANSWER PHASE
(The answer is Yes, because...)
Which of the techniques that you have already learned should you especially use during The Overture part of the
Converter?
The length of your overture depends on your listener's p _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ t _ _ _
Which of the verbal techniques that you have learned should especially be employed during the Ask/Listen phase of the
Converter?
What other techniques you have learned is crucial to employ during the Ask/Listen phase?
Name two techniques mentioned here that you will learn on tape 8A that you should employ during the Ask/Listen phase.
You should first bring up the idea, the product, the service you want to "sell" during
the __________________ phase.
By using the converter, your listener feels you have not given a sales pitch for your product or ideas, but the one unique s
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ to his/her p _ _ _ _ _ _.
What is the first step negotiators take?
It is important to tailor the information to your particular listener. Ask yourself three questions before presenting
your ideas:
Is there any material I should ___________ for this particular listener?
Is there any material I should ___________ for this particular listener?
Is there any material I should ____________ for this particular listener?
And punctuate your presentation with s _ _ _ _ _ _ to make it come alive for your listener(s). But it is important that they
be t _ _ _.
TAPE 8A: ADVANCED RAPPORT ESTABLISHING TECHNIQUES
Explores 7 subliminal rapport-establishing techniques. Learn how to emulate and capitalize on your conversational
partners' background and experiences, clone their perceptions, and then create analogies and similes from their
world. This tape gives you an advanced telephone technique for both deep rapport and crystal clear
comprehension. Finally, here is a method for winning your conversational partners' hearts by doing their thinking
for them!
*******************

The place of work of someone in

Advertising is called
Publishing is called
Broadcasting is called

________________________________
________________________________
________________________________

Don't say "drugstore", say _________________________.

Don't say "day care worker, say __________________________.
Don't say "handicapped person," say ___________________________
Don't say "vet," for an animal doctor, say _____________________________
If you were in conversation, with the following adventure sports enthusiasts, fill in the word you would use for "crash" or
"fatal accident."
Motor cycle rider
Rock climber
Hang glider
Bungee jumper
Sky Diver

I _ _ _ d _ _ _ the bike
c______
g___ i_
s_____
b______

Technique #3: INSTANT REPLAY

To get the most out of your important phone conversations, check the laws in your state. If it is legal, record your
conversations for these three reasons.
1) You pick up s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in your caller's voice.
2) In your follow-up conversations, it allows you to e _ _ _ their insider's words.
3) You pick up important information on f _ _ _ _ b _ _ _ _ _
Technique #4: PARROTING
When you need to draw more information out of your conversational partner, instead of giving your usual signals, put a q
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ look on your face and r _ _ _ _ _ their last few words.
Technique #5: DON'T TOUCH A CLICHE WITH A TEN FOOT POLE
Many intelligent people might feel, "Lips that touch a _______ will never touch _______!
Technique #6: SENSE CLONING
Generally, people describe their world more through one sense than the other: sight, sound or feeling.
Primarily ________ people might use phrases like:
I see what you mean
That looks good to me
Primarily ________ people use phrases like:
I hear you
That sounds good to me
Primarily ________ people use like phrases like:
I get it
I have a gut feeling that's good.
Technique #7: POTENT IMAGING
You make a much clearer and more powerful impact when you invoke images from your conversational partner's interests.
To a gardener, you would talk about s _ _ _ _ _ the s _ _ _ _ for success.
To a boat owner, you'd say a concept h _ _ _ _ w _ _ _ _.
To a private pilot, you'd talk about that concept really t _ _ _ _ _ o _ _.
Write the name of someone you'd like to establish deeper rapport with. __________________
Name one of their main interests. ________________________
Now come up with a phrase related to that interest that you will use the next time you are in a discussion with them:
Technique #8: COMM-YOU-NICATION Part II
For many people thinking is painful, so try to do their thinking for them.
Whenever you say anything, people always ask themselves_____________________________?
So answer it for them before they ask by starting every sentence with "_ _ _ "

TAPE 8B: HOW TO TALK WITH TIGERS AND NOT GET EATEN ALIVE
This tape takes conversation to its highest level. It gives you sophisticated communication techniques which can
mean the difference between staying on _ or toppling off _the top rung of the social or corporate ladder. You'll
learn advanced concepts like providing a Safe Haven for high level contacts, and always Knowing the Score in any
relationship.
The course ends on a lighter note with The Ten Common Phrases you should never ever say in everyday
conversation!

In big league corporate and social circles, it is unspoken. But everybody always knows
_____________. And the person "on bottom" must figuratively __________________
to the one "on top."

Technique #4: ALWAYS REVEAL WIIFY

WIIFY stands for W _ _ _ '_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _? Never have any
h _ _ _ _ _ a _ _ _ _ _ _, especially if it involves the other person's time.
Technique #5: LEND A HELPING TONGUE
Whenever someone's story was interrupted, always be the first to say,
_________________________________
If you want to play with the big boys and the big girls, always tell _____________________.
THE TEN COMMON PHRASES YOU SHOULD NEVER USE IN
CONVERSATION
1) When a friend of yours looks tired, never say...
2) When meeting a slight acquaintance at a party, never say...
3) When someone offers you a drink, a cigarette or a coffee, never say...
4) Before presenting one of your ideas, never say...
5) Before telling someone something in confidence, never say...
6) When talking about a previous relationship, never say...
7) When reminding someone of a promise, never say...
8) When telephone a friend, never say...
9) When asking for a date, never say...
10) When wishing someone a nice day, never say...

-end workbook-

WORKBOOK ANSWERS
TAPE 1A. - HOW TO MAKE AN UNFORGETTABLE FIRST IMPRESSION
15% - professional knowledge
85% - good communications skills
3 Previous work experience
4 Recommendations from previous employers
2 Good communication skills
5 Professional Training
6 Number of years of schooling
1 A good attitude
HELLO OLD FRIEND TECHNIQUE
Imagine your new acquaintance is an old friend
ECHOING
choice of words
TAPE III: HOW TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE, ANYTIME. ANYPLACE
THE PERSONALITY SOFTENER TECHNIQUE
Smile
Open Body Position
Forward Lean
Touch
Eye Contact
Nodding
Energy Level
Relative Distance Between You
THE FLOODING SMILE
quickly
slow
eyes
THE STICKY EYES TECHNIQUE
fraction of a second
linger a fraction of a second
THE VISUAL VOYAGE TECHNIQUE
face
eyes
shyness
THE SNORE TECHNIQUE
"What a SNORE this person is!"

TAPE 2A: THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK

small
subtext
the rhythm, the melody and the feeling
smile and your body language
triteness
COMM-YOU-NICATION TECHNIQUE
You
RESIST THE QUICK-ME-TOO TECHNIQUE
impressed

THE SMALL-TALK CHECK LIST

1) Neutral and not threatening
2) Relevant to situation
3) Pleasant, Complimentary or Empathetic
4) Easy to agree with
"Well, here I am!"
"Ah, there you are!"
Tape 2B: TRANSITION FROM SMALL TALK TO DEEPER TALK
CHERRY PICKING
anomaly
deviation
digression
place, time or person
Asking about someone's job:
"What do you enjoy doing?"
THE MOOD MATCH
psychic photograph
The sequence of going from small talk to deeper conversation.
mood match
name
long form
subtext of approval
THE TREE TECHNIQUE
roots
trunk
branches
leaves
Progression of conversation from small talk to closer communication:
cliches
facts
feelings
talk about you and us
SIGNAL SCRAMBLING
cut to number 4

CAPTIONING
proud of

TAPE 3A: HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROWD

CONVERSATION HOMEWORK
insider ice breakers
insider hot buttons
little bait
Technique #: SCRAMBLE THERAPY
newspaper or magazine
section of your local newspaper
lectures
greetings
TAPE 3B: MEGA REWARDS FOR MEGA LISTENING
The human mind is capable of thinking 4to 6 times faster than the ear can listen.
The five hearing filters:
ear
selection
meaning
emotion
ego
We only hear about 25% of what someone says.
The six ways to listen:
paraphrase
whole body listener
picturing
feel
have a conversation
The four-point listening checklist.
W - WHAT
What is he telling me?
H - HOW
How does the speaker feel about what he's telling me?
E - EXPECTED REACTION
What reaction does the speaker expect me to have?
W - WHY
Why is he telling me this?

TAPE 4A: HOW TO WORK A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM

THE SIX-POINT PARTY CHECKLIST:
WHO is going to be there?
WHEN should I arrive?
WHY is the party being given?
WHERE is the collective mind of the people at the party?
WHAT should I take to this particular party?
HOW am I going to follow up on the people I've met at the party?
Eating at a party: If you're munching away, people are not going to be as apt to come up and say, "hi."
Chatting with your friends: Strangers are not going to approach you if you are standing in a group.
Smile!
THE WHATZAT TECHNIQUE
clothing
jewelry or clothing
THE WHOZAT TECHNIQUE
an introduction
some information about the person you want to meet
THE "LET'S MINGLE" TECHNIQUE
"I've really enjoyed talking to you. Why don't we mingle a little now?" Or "Let's mingle a little now and I hope we see
each other again before the party's over."
THE "LATEST NEWS" TECHNIQUE
Turn on the TV news or scan your newspaper for the latest news.
THE NUTSHELL RESUME
enthusiastic or interesting
THE INTRODUCTORY BAIT
another line or two about them to inspire interesting conversation
"You know I really want to remember your name... could you tell me again."
THE PERSONALIZED POSTCARD
your name, address and phone number
some story or fact your contact mentioned in conversation

TAPE 4B: LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING

The study of body language: a science called "kinetics"
To tell if someone is lying: Watch for a change in their demeanor
You can determine if someone is happy with what they are seeing or hearing:
by watching the size of their pupils.
A sincere smile: reaches the eyes
When having a disagreement with a good friend: Let your body position mirror his or hers
Tell who the "ranking individual" on a group by: Watching how others mirror his or her body position
EYEBALL SELLING
Head turned away: Encourage your customer to verbalize objections so you can tackle them head on.
Body turned away: Ask him a personal question to get him talking and get his attention back.
Face becomes lively: Expand on whatever aspect you are currently discussing.
Reaching for an object: Be quiet to your listener think the issue through.
Pointing their fingers: Listen carefully and, if possible, show agreement.
Palms of hands facing up: They are subconsciously seeking your help, so move in with explanations.
Head nodding up and down: Go for the close!
How to know if someone of the opposite sex finds you attractive:
1 man in 31
45 seconds
18 inches

TAPE 5A: REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYBODY.. BY PHONE

30%
THE "OH WOW, IT'S YOU!" TECHNIQUE
after
NAME DROPPING TECHNIQUE (THEIRS)
name
THE CONSTANTLY CHANGING VOICE MAIL MESSAGE
intelligent
business
makes you sound like a slave of your business instead of the master
advertisement
THE CLIFF HANGER MESSAGE
a reason to call you back
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TIME?
"Is this a good time to talk?"
LISTEN FOR BACKGROUND NOISES
have to answer the other line
SALUTE THE SPOUSE
acknowledge
THE PROP CHECK
materials
THE MAKE BELIEVE HOLD BUTTON
shout
HOLD BUTTON RULES
W - What you'll be doing while they're waiting
H - How long you expect it to be
A - Ask permission to put them on hold
T - Thank them ... twice. For agreeing to hold, then for holding
Always say, "Thank you for..." and then specify what you are thanking them for.

TAPE 5B: PUT PIZAZZ IN YOUR CONVERSATION WITH PRO'S TECHNIQUES

THE TRUMPET BLARE PAUSE TECHNIQUE
pause for a moment of silence first
YOUR PERSONAL THESAURUS
visual
quotations, humor and statistics
standing
use them to gesture
FONDLE THE ROOM TECHNIQUE
touch
look at
visualize
PRESENTATION TIMES
right after lunch
Friday
Monday
Wednesday and Thursday
just a little bit better in their style

TAPE 6A: THE POWER OF PRAISE THE FOLLY OF FLATTERY

THE KILLER COMPLIMENT USER'S MANUAL:
1) in private
2) upon parting
3) 3 months
4) credible
5) brief, blunt and non self conscious
6) proud of
THE IMPLIED COMPLIMENT
parenthetical
THE KNEE-JERK COMPLIMENT
Because they have only one question on their mind, "How did I do?"
TRACKING
"My Life"
BOOMERANGING
It makes the other person feel good for complimenting you.

TAPE 6B: CHEWING UP TOUGH COOKIES

DEALING WITH "NEGATIVIST"
Do not disagree; just listen.
DEALING WITH THE CONSTANT TALKER"
Interrupt his/her story with short, staccato questions.
DEALING WITH THE "SUPER-AGREEABLE WHO ALWAYS LETS YOU DOWN"
Make it non-threatening for him/her to be honest with you.
DEALING WITH THE "HOSTILE AGGRESSIVE BULLY"
Give him/her time to sound off.
DEALING WITH a "SNIPER"
Surface their attack.
THE "THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU" TECHNIQUE
"That's not like you to..." (fill in whatever behavior of theirs you want to change.)
TAPE 7A.- DIFFERENT SMOKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS - AND DIFFERENT GENDERS
QUALITIES DESCRIBING DIFFERENT SHAPES
BOXES
organized
analytical
persistent
problem solvers
CIRCLES
nurturers
supporters
friendly
nice
TRIANGLES
independent
strong willed
competitive
intelligent
SQUIGGLES
enthusiastic
theatrical
spontaneous
creative

OFFICE FURNITURE ANALYSIS

triangle
box
squiggle
circle
TALKING TO THE DIFFERENT SHAPES
TALKING TO A BOX
Talk slowly, methodically.
Don't get emotional.
Make sure your stories have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Don't exaggerate.
Use words like "precise, exact, and specific."
TALKING TO A CIRCLE
Ask the circle personality how he/she feels today.
Give many compliments.
Avoid conflict.
Use words like "pleasant, pleasurable, agreeable, harmonious, compatible and even nice"
TALKING TO A TRIANGLE
Begin at the end, give the bottom line first.
Be supportive of their goals and objectives.
Don't argue with a triangle.
If you're going to compliment the triangle compliment their ideas, not their appearance.
Use words like "proven, success, the result, the truth, important."
Speak of "Productivity, Principles, Practices, and Priorities."
TALKING TO A SQUIGGLE
Before you decide on your game-plan with a squiggle, you must first determine what shape he/she is
feeling like that day. Then go with that shape. Use any words that express enthusiasm and passion.
TALKING TO MEN - TALKING TO WOMEN
Man's:

to be a failure

Woman's:

to be alone, a "bag lady"

TAPE 7B: HOW TO PLAY CONVERSATIONAL HARDBALL ... AND WIN

During the Overture phase, especially use Tracking.
personality type
During the Ask/Listen phase, especially use Echoing
also use Mega-Listening
And, from tape 8A, Parroting and Sense Cloning
The Big Answer
the one unique solution to his/her problem.
The first step negotiators take is to learn the other person's side.
add
omit
substitute
stories
true

TAPE 8A: ADVANCED RAPPORT ESTABLISHING TECHNIQUES

move and speak
move and speak
"U-WORDS"
rich
toilet
paper
You have a nice house
How do you do?
Different words for where they work:
agency or "shop"
house
studio
"community pharmacy"
"child care worker"
"person with a disability"
"veterinarian"
When speaking with adventure sports enthusiasts:
lays down
craters
goes in
splats
bounces

INSTANT REPLAY
subtleties
echo
first bounce
PARROTING
questioning
repeat
DON'T TOUCH A CLICHE WITH A TEN FOOT POLE
cliche
mine
SENSE CLONING
visual or sight
auditory or sound
kinesthetic or feeling
POTENT IMAGING
sowing the seeds for success
holds water
taking off
COMM-YOU-NICATION Part II
"How does that affect me?"
you

TAPE 8B: HOW TO TALK WITH TIGERS AND NOT GET EATEN ALIVE
SAFE HAVENING
1) when "breaking bread" or dining with someone
2) at parties or other social situations
3) during chance encounters
NEVER SAY BUTTERFINGERS
nothing
KNOW THE SCORE
knows the score
bow
ALWAYS REVEAL WIIFY
What's in it for you?
hidden agenda
LEND A HELPING TONGUE
"Now please get back to your story."
the truth

THE TEN COMMON PHRASES YOU SHOULD NEVER USE IN CONVERSATION

1) "You look tired."
2) "I bet you don't remember me!"
3) "Oh, no. I don't smoke (drink, drink coffee)."
4) "I've got a great idea."
5) "Don't tell him/her I told you this, but..."
6) "What a creep my ex was!"
7) "You promised to..."
8) "Hi. Guess who this is."
9) "What are you doing Saturday night?"
10) "Have a nice day!"