10 Ways To Build More Confidence

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by Michael Grose - No. 1 parenting educator
10 ways to build more condence in kids

Condent kids are more likely to make the most of their potential as theyll extend themselves both socially and learning-wise. Failure doesnt reect on them personally. Fears and anxieties, while present, dont stop them from trying new activities.
The power of parents to shape a child is enormous. Self-condence is one area that parents have signicant inuence, particularly for children of primary school-age and below. Kids in these years are on a journey to work out what they can do and how they can t into their various groups. They are the condence and esteem-building years. As a parent, you are in THE prime position to mirror back to kids how they should see themselves. You do this through your messages, your expectations and how you treat your child. Condence is often confused with extraversion, assertiveness, self-assuredness and cockiness. Its not necessarily so. You can be quiet, introverted and full of self-doubt but still feel and act condently in a given social or learning situation. Condence is more about risk-taking and trying new activities. Condent kids are more likely to make the most of their potential as theyll extend themselves both socially and learningwise. Fears and anxieties, while present, dont stop them from trying new activities. Here are 10 ways to build condence in your kids so they can take their place in the world: 1. Model condent mindsets: Kids pick up your thinking as well as your language so teach kids how to approach tricky or new situations condently by doing so yourself. That means, dont put yourself down if you make a mistake. 2. Encourage kids to look on the bright side: Optimism is catching and helps kids overcome their fears. Help kids set their antennae to look for the good, something positive or a learning in any situation. 3. Help them understand self-talk: That little voice inside their heads can talk them up or talk them down. Kids who are low on condence use a great deal of negative self-talk. Get kids to listen to their self-talk and help them work out alternative messages that help them rather than hold them back. 4. Recognise effort & improvement: Low risk-takers and perfectionists appreciate parents who focus more on the processes of what they do, rather than results. Effort, improvement and enjoyment are examples of processes that you can comment on. 5. Focus on strength and assets: Fault-nding can become an obsession for some parents, particularly fathers. Step back and look at supposed faults through a different lens (i.e. stubbornness can be rebadged as determination, which is handy in many contexts). Let your kids know what their strengths are so they know what they are good at!
Accept errors as part of learning: Dont over react when kids dont get the perfect score or make mistakes. Errors are part of learning, ask any golfer. 7. Give them real responsibility at home: Giving responsibility is a demonstration of faith. It fosters self-belief and also provides growth opportunities for kids. Condence and responsibility go hand in hand. 8. Develop self-help skills from an early age: Condence is linked to competence. You can praise a child until the cows come home, but unless he or she can do something they wont feel condent. Basic self-help skills are inextricably linked to selfesteem. 9. Spend regular time teaching & training: Parents are childrens rst teachers. They educate them in everything from how to do up their shoelaces as pre-schoolers to how to ll out a tax form as late adolescents. Look for teachable moments where you can help your kids. They are everywhere! 10. Build scaffolds to success and independence: Look for ways to make it easy for your child to be successful. That may mean that you break down complex activities into bitesized chunks so they can experience success or even cope with stressful situations so they can overcome their fears. There are some powerful strategies outlined here. Think about how many of these you use already and which strategies you would like to nd out more about. Condence-building is one of those foundation areas that can have an enormous impact on kids and one that we can all learn more about. For more practical ideas to build condence in kids visit www.parentingideas.com.au/condence
Published by Michael Grose Presentations. All rights reserved. For more ideas, support and advice for all your parenting challenges visit: www.parentingideas.com.au
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PO Box 167 Balnarring VIC 3926 P. + 61 3 5983 1798 F. 03 5983 1722 E. ofce@parentingideas.com.au
www.parentingideas.com.au
www.parentingideas.co.uk
2010 Michael Grose

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||INSIGHTS||

by Michael Grose - No. 1 parenting educator

10 ways to build more condence in kids

2010 Michael Grose

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