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What If programming languages were weapons
by VICKY SINGH RAO on OCTOBER 12, 2017 0 COMMENTS
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1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue ri e, old but reliable.
2.C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of
pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.
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3.Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it now.
What If programming
languages were weapons
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4.Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, 7 Things to Consider Before
sometimes it doesnt, and when it doesnt during ring you get an NullPointerException, the Downloading Any Software
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gun explodes and you die.
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5.Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an
incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.
6.JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.
7. Go is the custom made if err != nil starter pistol and after each shot you must check to
make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.
8.Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.
9.bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.
10.Python is the v2/v3 double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you
never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to
draw that.
11.Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.
12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in
through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.
13.Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if
only anyone could actually afford one.
14.C# is a powerful laser ri e strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser
doesnt seem to work as well.
15.Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some
terminators to go back in time and kill your mom
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ABOUT AUTHOR
VICKY SINGH RAO
Vicky is an entrepreneur at heart who has made his hobby turned passion, his profession
now. Becoming a blogger, was the most important part of his journey
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