Ei For Teachers
Ei For Teachers
Ei For Teachers
Self-awareness an Emotional
Intelligence necessity
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In a classroom, math teacher was teaching his subject to students. He asked one of student a
math question: If u hv two apples and i gave u more two apples how many apples do u have
in total.
Student: 5 apples
Teacher: Now, if u have 2 strawberry and i gave u more 2 strawberry, how many strawberry
do u hv in total.
Student: 4 strawberry
Student: 5 apples
Here the point is student was practically right and teacher was technically right. In this world
we need to see other side also, we should b able to understand technical n practical side of
arguments then only our life will b sorted.
SELF MANAGEMENT
TENALI RAMAN AND DEVI ASKS FOR A BOON
Self-management is your ability to act or not act
1. What is your take away message? After you finish speaking what
should the audience remember? What do the audience actually need
to know?
2. What you want your audience to feel? A list of facts is boring, we
are emotional beings who act because we feel something. We buy
emotionally and then justify the decision intellectually.
3. What you want your audience to do? Include a call to action in your
speech, what should your audience do with this information?
4. What do they actually need to see? Keep the information on the
slides to a minimum. Keep it simple or they will stop listening!
This presentation helps change slides from cluttered
documents which bore your audience to a powerful augmentation
of your message.
Five
Areas of EQ
Intrapersonal
• Self-Awareness – The ability to recognize and understand your moods,
emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
• Self-Regulation – The ability to control or re-direct disruptive impulses
and moods and the propensity to suspend judgment and think before
acting.
• Motivation – A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money and
status and a propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
Interpersonal
• Social Skills – A proficiency in managing relationships and building
networks.
• Empathy – The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other
people.
Applications
Studies have been done on possible ways that a high or low EQ might
affect a person’s abilities to perform under pressure, resolve conflict, and
cope with challenges.
Emotional intelligence is the single biggest predictor of performance in
the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal
excellence.
A study of Harvard graduates in business, law, medicine and teaching
showed a negative or zero correlation between an IQ indicator (entrance
exam scores) and subsequent career success.
IQ v/s EQ : The research shows that IQ can help you to be successful to
extent of 20% in life n rest 80% depends on EQ.
How we address emotions cultivates how children identify and respond to emotions. Your
acceptance teaches your child that their emotional life is not dangerous and is not shameful,
but rather is both universal and manageable.
Most people want to know what to say or do when emotions are high; however, some of the
most teachable moments are outside of tantrums and meltdowns. There is much to learn in
these moments for two reasons. Firstly, we are able to form a child’s mind to think of
emotions in a more objective way when it isn’t about them specifically. Secondly, when we
are emotional, it is more difficult to think clearly; when our emotions increase, our ability to
reason decreases.
Here are some fundamentals about emotions that are important for children to know:
Some of the most meaningful moments are those that may not be specific to the child
himself/herself. When a child shares about a story about a friend at school, it can be helpful
to ask what the other child may have been feeling. When they see a character in a movie that
is scared, you may ask why that character is feeling scared. When you see a stranger crying at
the park, you can brainstorm what might make them feel better. If children are familiar with
the idea that their emotions are common, they won’t feel the need to hide it.
Emotions come and go—they don’t last forever, even though they may feel like it!
Sharing your own personal experience can be powerful because it shows children that adults
have emotions too. Share a time where you felt like your emotions would never resolve, and
what helped you feel better. Knowing that emotions don’t last forever can be a comforting
thought to children. Help children understand their thoughts as a passing cloud, a train rolling
by, or a leaf floating down a river. Acknowledge that they are present, and we will watch
them move by.
Intensity varies—it is normal to feel a range from a little emotional to extremely emotional.
Knowing that you can feel “a little sad” or “extremely sad” will help children put words to
their feelings. Children who know this will be able to validate their own feelings rather than
feel that it’s silly to be sad “over nothing.” Children should understand that it is just as valid
to be sad about losing a loved one as it is about a friend hurting your feelings. While one may
feel more overwhelming, both are legitimate.
Acknowledge your emotions and be kind to yourself. Feeling ashamed of emotions will only
add to and intensify them. Have you ever been angry with someone, and then started to feel
guilty about being angry? That guilt most likely meant that you believed the anger was wrong
or bad, leading you to feel angry AND beat yourself up about it! These feelings distract us
from working through the issue and make us feel worse about ourselves in the process. When
you understand that you’re not the only person who has ever felt this way, you feel more
empowered to be productive in finding a solution. If we discourage emotion, it only continues
to build. You must also be careful to not pressure yourself to always feel happy, as this can
indirectly make other emotions negative.
It is common to be afraid of letting yourself feel anger or sadness. People are afraid of what
they will do—hit someone, yell, or say something they’ll regret. Acknowledging your
emotions, however, is different than indulging them and letting them take over.
Emotions are purposeful – they can give clues to something that may be going on that need
our attention.
This may be an unmet need such as desire for attention or connection, unmet expectations,
insecurities, worries, or misunderstandings. If we teach kids to acknowledge their feelings
and be curious as to what is causing them, we are one step closer to helping them better
manage emotions. Turning anger into an opportunity to resolve problems won’t happen if you
ignore your emotions! Inner problems cannot be solved without self-awareness.
People with the healthiest relationships and emotional well being tend to be the ones who
listen to their emotions, have self-compassion, understand what they need, and seek to
resolve the underlying issue.
Now that we know how to talk about emotions and foster emotional intelligence and well
being, next blog post we’ll discuss strategies on how to intervene when emotions are on high!
This is the second of a series of blog posts by Hannah Morrison. Hannah is a behavior
therapist and former nanny who has presented at Stanford Park Nannies’ Nanny Up training
series.
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“There’s nothing worse than when you’re not feeling great and someone says, ‘just think
positively’,” says Alan Lyons, author, psychologist and managing partner of KinchLyons.
“Because that’s just an outcome. Positive psychology, as opposed to popular psychology,
actually has a science behind it.”
“Emotional intelligence should be seen as a model of well-being and high performance, based
on knowing yourself, connecting with others, handling stressful situations and making better
decisions. But it’s also about understanding what makes you feel good, rather than just what
you’re good at. So it shouldn’t be confused with competency.”
The term “emotional intelligence” has been knocking about since the 1960s, but became
mainstream in the mid-1990s after the bestselling book by that title, written by Daniel
Goleman. In it, he proposed the “mixed model” of EI, which mixed one’s own innate EI
ability with personality traits broken down into self-awareness, self-regulation, social skill,
empathy and motivation. The 1980s-centric “ability model”, on the other hand, had taken the
view that EI was a more static or preordained mental ability, somewhat like logic or IQ, that
centred upon perceiving, using, understanding and managing your emotions.
Both models (and a third, the noughties-laden “trait model”) are not without their critics, but
their cumulative effective over the past 30 years has been to project EI out of the science
journals and into mainstream western consciousness.
“There are many forms of intelligence, whereas school would make you think that there is
just one: academic IQ. And if you don’t have that you’re not intelligent! IQ is a very good
predictor on how you will go in school but once you leave school that drops off a lot,” says
Lyons.
“It’s said that your IQ is your price of entry into an organisation, but once you are in it, how
you develop is more down to EQ. Just look at the US version of The Apprentice TV show;
the winner has always been the person with the highest EQ, not IQ. It’s something you can
personally develop but it does naturally develop over your life anyway, but the sooner you
get it, you can then accelerate it.”
While the assumption is often made that EI means your ability to read people, the reality is its
far more nuanced and introspective than that. Its bedrock, in fact, boils down to the ancient
Greek aphorism “know thyself”, or, in modern psychology speak, intrapersonal intelligence:
the ability to understand oneself and appreciate one’s feelings, fears and motivations. Only
then comes the top bun on the burger, interpersonal intelligence: our capacity to understand
the intentions, motivations and desires of other people. No bottom bun, no top bun, no burger.
“A lot of people think EQ is only about being good with interconnecting with other people,
which it can be, but it starts with your own self-perception and levels of your own self-
awareness. Change will only happen when you are aware of it,” says Lyons, who adds that
many Irish people believe that being a good communicator means being able to talk, rather
than listen as well. And while there is a “huge, positive correlation” between EI and
happiness (along with mental health, job performance and leadership skills), context is key.
As Lyons makes clear, you could be very emotionally intelligent but find yourself stuck in
the middle of raging war, and so be quite miserable.
George Bernard Shaw once advised that you, “Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are
the window through which you must see the world.” Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural
Therapy are just a couple of widely-accessible means, popularised over the past decade, that
can help keep that window clear and bright, but taking a validated EQ assessment with an
accredited professional (see sidebar) is arguably the best place to start. However, simply
reading and talking about EI can be very helpful too.
“If we are talking about the proverbial man in the street,” says author and performance coach
Jane Downes, “then forget about all the terms that are wrapped around emotional intelligence
and go for the basics. We are simply talking about your cop-on: your ability to handle
yourself, handle others and handle what’s happening around you.
“Awareness is the key. We need to know how we are functioning and what we need to be
doing better. But if we are going through life on autopilot then we’re not even aware of these
things. We need to have awareness of how we’re problem solving, making decisions, how we
are handling situations and what we could do differently or better next time.
“When we are 18 or 19 our IQ levels off, whereas EQ can be developed throughout our life,”
says Downes, who established her career coaching and training business, Clearview
Coaching Group, in 2004. “As we know, life presents problems. We need to be able to sit
down and weigh things up; to pro and con it, and to view events through optimism, rather
than always just pessimism. This is our social functioning – how we’re handling life – and
it’s really important.” And much can be gained from observing those who continue to do well
in life, personally and professionally, by applying their street smartness or cop on, rather than
falling back on education, nepotism or academic results.
“You can be as sharp as a tack, but if you can’t convey that, in terms of how you’re
communicating, how you’re getting on with other people and even yourself, it’s going to hold
you back. In the workplace, we know the biggest traits looked for is the ability to adapt and
be resourceful: these are emotional intelligent skills are their very best.”
Wants v fears
“If people were more aware of what their wants were, their fears wouldn’t even come into it.
It’s our fears that very much drive us, more than our wants,” says counsellor and
psychotherapist Siobhan Murray, who emphasises the chief importance of being able to
recognise our own emotions before trying to recognise others.
“If we spent more time teaching the next generation about emotional intelligence, about how
to understand the driving force for the wants that they have, we will also end up with a much
kinder society, not just to those around us but to ourselves,” says Murray.
“Sitting in front of my clients on a daily basis, the biggest thing that I see is how incredibly
hard they are on themselves. So often, they’d never speak to a friend or a family member the
way they speak to themselves.”
Clinical Psychologist Dr Clare Kambamettu says when someone comes to her to talk about
working together, that person’s ability to tune into their emotional state, and to reflect on that
in a meaningful way, always informs how successful any intervention or therapy will be.
“The studies that I’ve seen show that EQ is more important than IQ when it comes to thriving
across the board, whether it’s in your relationships, your work or just day-to-day life.
Because it enables us to adapt to our circumstances and to deal with difficulties that we all
face,” says the director of Lighthouse Clinical Psychology service at Galway Bay Medical
Centre.
“I work with lots of children and families and I think if there was a little more education
available for parents around the importance of building emotional intelligence in those first
years of life, it would really stand in favour of the generations ahead.”
While costs vary on the range of services provided, expect to pay at least €200 for a
reputable, scientifically-validated EQ assessment (using the EQ-i 2.0® Assessment Tool, for
example ) with a qualified EI assessor, including detailed feedback and review of the results.
As such EI assessments, training courses and one-to-one coaching sessions are typically
aimed at the business/corporate sector, you will likely need a four-figure sum in reserve
should you chose to avail of the full range of EI services accredited professionals can offer.
Too costly? Then opt for the suggested reading material (below) to begin with, possibly
followed by a mindfulness course (eg, anywhere from about €150 for an eight-week evening
course) as a means of helping develop your own intrapersonal intelligence: the foundation
layer for all growth in EI.
If budget or location should preclude such a course, then consider a Cognitive Behavioural
Therapy (CBT) online course as an alternative health check and boost for your intrapersonal
intelligence, such as that on the A Lust for Life website (alustforlife.com/mental-health/cbt-
online-course/a-lust-for-life-online-cbt-course-week-1 ). But do so remembering any such
free, online options will be a rather light and rudimentary crash-course in CBT, when
compared with the results one-to-one therapy can achieve with an accredited cognitive
psychotherapist.
Psychologist Alan Lyons suggests The EQ Edge by Steven Stein and Howard Book, as a
great place to start learning more about EI, as well as Daniel Goleman’s seminal 1998
Harvard Business Review article, What makes a leader? (richardreoch.info/wp-
content/uploads/2016/05/What-Makes-a-Leader..pdf)
Lyons cites the weekly columns in The Irish Times Health + Family of child and family
psychotherapist, Dr John Sharry (solutiontalk.ie ), as an excellent source for understanding
and developing EI in children. And for a wider context-setter on how you might be ranging
on the mental health and well-being spectrum, check out the Psychological Society of
Ireland, scientifically-backed, Psychology Matters 40 Tips (psihq.ie/psychology-matters-psi ).
“The starting point in all of this is to read about and get a feel for it,” says author and
performance coach Jane Downes. “Get a handle on it at its most basic form, and then decide
whether you’re going to give a bit of time to this.” Aside from the aforementioned The EQ
Edge, the founder of Clearview Coaching Group recommends The Emotional Intelligence
Quick Book, as well as Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (both by Travis Bradberry and Jean
Greaves).
Dr Steven Stein, founder and chief executive of Canadian-based Multi-Health Systems, and
his team of researchers collected emotional intelligence data from professionals in more than
150 countries. Through analysing the results of 10,000 respondents, Stein tells The Irish
Times he found interesting patterns across different demographics, such as age, gender and
geographic location.
“While there are small differences in the emotional intelligence scores between the five world
regions, with Africa possessing the highest overall score and Asia possessing the lowest
overall score, the differences do not indicate that any world region faces difficulties or
challenges with emotional intelligence as a whole.
“These differences indicate that a variety of emotional intelligence skills are valued in each of
the workplace cultures, though the specific skills vary across world regions.”
Topics:
Alan Lyons
Clare Kambamettu
Daniel Goleman
George Bernard Shaw
Howard Book
Jane Downes
Jean Greaves
John Sharry
Siobhan Murray
Steven Stein
Travis Bradberry
Galway Bay Medical Centre
Psychological Society of Ireland
Clearview Coaching
Eq Edge
Africa
Asia
United States
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Social Awareness
The waiter who suggests something better from the menu...
The FDP on ‘UNLOCKING EQ’, introduces the participants to the world of emotional
intelligence by imparting the basics of EQ and how to practice it. It’s the beginning for many
people in understanding that they have a choice that can change their lives. By unlocking
their EQ, they are empowering themselves to navigate their emotions in a healthier way and
choose responses that improve their lives.
Influence - your ability to build a consensus and win people's support by being able to focus on
what is important to others.
Leadership - be the person that others choose to follow.
Developing Others - by recognizing others' strengths and offering challenges to develop them.
Communication - plan your communications to ensure the right emotional tone is used.
Change Catalyst - be willing to question established ideals and initiate new ideas, recognizing
when change is needed.
Conflict Management - realizing when a situation is heading towards conflict and taking quick
and decisive action to resolve it.
Building Bonds - by cultivating an extensive network of colleagues, acquaintances, and friends
that has mutual benefit.
Teamwork and Collaboration - defining your success criteria in such a way that everyone can
make their own unique and valued contribution