1

A man and a woman got married, and he told her: "Since you are my wife you should respect my
traditions and habits… and I have 3 traditions.

So, first tradition: on wednesdays I play football with my friends… no matter what.. whether it
snows or it rains… I don't care.. I play football!!

- Is it clear for you? , - husband asks his wife

- Yes, sure, - she answers.

So, the second tradition… On fridays I play poker with my friends, no matter what, I play
poker!!

- Is it clear for you? - he asks.

- Yes, sure, - she answers.

The third tradition… On sundays I go fishing, no matter what, I go fishing… whether it snows or
it rains… I go fishing!!!

- Is it clear for you? - he asks.

- Yes, sure, she answers.

- Any objections? - he asks.

- No, I understand, - his wife answers.

- Maybe you have your own traditions? - he asks.

She thought for a while and said: "Well, I have, but only one… every night at 10 p.m. I have
sex… whether I have my husband beside me, or I don't have… I don't care.. I have sex!!!!

"Shiro! Shiro!"

Mr and Mrs Nakamura were worried. Their dog Shiro was missing. "Shiro!" they called again
and again. Mr and Mrs Nakamura lived on a small island in Japan. They looked everywhere on
the island, but they couldn't find Shiro.

The next day Mr Nakamura heard a noise at the front door. He opened the door, and there was
Shiro. Shiro was very wet, and he was shivering.

A few days later Shiro disappeared again. He disappeared in the morning, and he came back late
in the night. When he came back, he was wet and shivering.

Shiro began to disappear often. He always disappeared in the morning and came back late at
night. He was always wet when he came back.
Mr Nakamura was curious. "Where does Shiro go?" he wondered. "Why is he wet when he
comes back?"

One morning Mr Nakamura followed Shiro. Shiro walked to the beach, ran into the water, and
began to swim. Mr Nakamura jumped into his boat and followed his dog. Shiro swam for about
two miles. Then he was tired, so climbed onto a rock and rested. A few minutes later he jumped
back into the water and continued swimming.

Shiro swam for three hours. Then he arrived at an island. He walked onto the beach, shook the
water off, and walked toward town. Mr Nakamura followed him. Shiro walked to a house. A dog
was waiting in front of the house. Shiro ran to the dog, and the two dogs began to play. The dog's
name was Marilyn. Marilyn was Shiro's girlfriend.

Marilyn lived on Zamami, another Japanese island. Shiro and the Nakamuras used to live on
Zamami. Then the Nakamuras moved to Aka, a smaller island. They took Shiro with them. Shiro
missed Marilyn very much and wanted to be with her. But he wanted to be with the Nakamuras,
too. So, Shiro lived with the Nakamuras on the island of Aka and swam to Zamami to visit
Marilyn.

People were amazed when they heard about Shiro. The distance from Aka to Zamami is two and
a half miles, and the ocean between the islands is very rough. "Nobody can swim from Aka to
Zamami!" the people said.

Shiro became famous. Many people went to Zamami because they wanted to see Shiro. During
one Japanese holiday, 3.000 people visited Zamami. They waited on the beach for Shiro. "Maybe
Shiro will swim to Zamami today," they said. They all wanted to see Shiro, the dog who was in
love.

If I could start over my life,

I would make more mistakes in the new one.

Not trying to be perfect, I would just lie on my back.

I would be happy, more than I ever was in my first try,

There would be very few things

That I would do seriously.

Cleanliness would never be a problem.

I would take more risks.

I would travel more.

I would watch the sunrise more often,

I would climb mountains and swim in rivers more often.

I would go see places I didn't see.

I would eat ice cream like crazy, and green beans much less.

I would have real troubles, instead of the imaginary ones.

I used to be striving for efficiency at every moment of my life.

If I could start over, I would only have happy moments.

Do you realize that this is what life is all about?

Moments, only moments. Seize the moment.

I used to go nowhere without water, umbrella and parachutes with me.

If I could start over, I would carry nothing.

If I could start over,

I would throw away my shoes in the Spring.

And I would walk barefoot until the end of Fall.

I would discover hidden paths, enjoy the sun,

And play with the kids, if I had the chance.

But I am 85 and I know…

I am dying…

My English is very poor.

But I will try to tell you about the role of English in my life.

English is everywhere in our everyday life. On the doors of the shops we can see the signs
"Open" and "Closed". Buying a new phone or a TV set we see instructions and manuals and
menus in English. But most of all I need English when I work in the Internet, as the work with
the Internet is an essential part of my business. We create web sites.

I also need English when studying new literature on business. New knowledge in my sphere
comes as a rule from the English speaking countries. It's very important to be the first to receive
this knowledge and to apply it in your work.

That's why learning of English in the course of the presidential program is so important for me.

Repeat please
I haven't understood you

Tell more slowly please

Charlie Chaplin was at the party. He was asked to perform some of his best things. To the guests’
surprise he sang a very difficult opera aria. When it was over, one of the guests cried out:
“Wonderful! I did not know that you could sing so beautifully!” “Oh, no,” said Chaplin with a
smile, “I was just imitating a famous singer I heard at La Scala last night, that's all”.

When Bernard Shaw was a young critic, he was invited as a guest to a family party. When he
came into the room, the daughter of the host was playing the piano. “I was told that you are fond
of music”, she said very sweetly, turning round to the visitor. “I am”, answered Show, “but never
mind! Go on playing.”

Jonathan Swift, a famous English writer, was traveling one day on horseback with his servant.
The weather was bad, it was raining, and the roads were muddy. In the evening the two men
came to an inn. Before going to bed the servant was told to clean the boots. But the servant was
lazy and did not do it. In the morning Swift asked the servant why the boots had not been
cleaned. “What's the use cleaning boots now?” said the servant. “The roads are muddy, and boots
will soon be dirty again.” “All right,” said the writer. “Let's go. Our journey must be continued.”
“But I haven't had breakfast,” said the displeased servant. “Well, what's the use giving you
breakfast now?” said Swift. “You will soon be hungry again.”

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything and
talked about everything. They had no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman
had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask
her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got
very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little
old man took down the shoe box and took it to her bedside. She agreed that it was time that he
should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep
quiet and crochet a doll."

The old man was so moved that he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the
box. She had only been angry with him twice in all those years of living and loving? As he gazed
lovingly into her eyes, he almost burst with happiness.

"But what about all this money? You didn't save all of that out of your household allowance, did
you?"
"Oh no," she said, "That's the money I earned selling dolls!"

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: "Quick!
My husband is back!" Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: "Shit! But
I am the husband!"

one

John: Hi, Teresa.

Teresa: Good morning John. How are you?
J: I'm fine thanks. And you?
T: Not bad. John, this is Andres, our new colleague.
J: Oh hi! Pleased to meet you!
Andres: Nice to meet you, too.
T: Andres is the new maintenance supervisor.
J: I see. Welcome aboard.
J: Where are you from?
A: I'm from Mexico.
J: Really?
A: Yes. I'm from Mexico City.
J: That's an interesting city.
Well, it's nice meeting you, Andres. See you later.
T: Bye.
A: Bye.

two

Peter: Hello!
Linda: Hi Peter, come on in.
P: Thanks. Where's everyone else?
L: My sister and her husband are in the kitchen.
Two or three other people are in the kitchen, too.
P: This is a very nice apartment.
L: Thanks. My parents own it.
P: I see. Is this a picture of your parents over here?
L: Yes, this is my entire family.
P: Who's who?
L: Well, these are my parents, Linda and Joseph.
P: And who's this?
L: This is my brother Thomas. I also have a sister but she's not in the picture.
She's here tonight.
P: And who's the little girl?
L: Well, that's me, of course.
P: Really? You still have the same beautiful smile!
L: What a sweet thing to say!
P: Well, that's the kind of guy I am.

Three

Chin: Mom, where are my blue pants?

Mother: Check in your room.

C: No, they're not there.

M: Then look on the ironing board.

C: OK. Here they are! Mom!

M: Yes, Chin, what is it now?

C: Sorry, but I can't find my sneakers.

M: I'm sure you know where they are. Just think for a minute.
C: Oh! Now I see them. I guess you're right.
M: Of course I am. I'm your mother.
C: Well, then tell me where my car keys are.
M: How about in your coat pocket?
C: No!
M: Maybe they're in your gym bag.
C: Great! They're here. Thanks, Mom. See you later!
M: Bye! Someday he's going to lose his head!

Four
Sharon: Oh I love the clothes in this store, but they cost way too much.
Pat: I know but I need a dress for Robin and Mike's wedding.
What do you think of this one?
S: Now, that is gorgeous, and you look great in blue.
P: But I like this red one, too.
S: Well, try both of them on.
P: Is there a size ten in blue?
S: Yes, right here.
The fitting rooms are around the corner, by the children's department.
S: I like the blue.
P: And it's comfortable too. Is it too short, though?
S: No. You look beautiful, really.
P: Thanks. Excuse me, how much is this dress?
Clerk: You're lucky. All women's fashions are on sale today.
Let's see… this dress is twenty five percent off.
P: I'm convinced. I even have shoes to match.
S: That's reason enough right there

Five
Jim: I need some hot coffee. I'm so cold!
An: I know. I think my feet are frozen.
Waitress: Are you ready to order?
J: Yes, some coffee, please.
A: Tea with lemon for me, please.
W: Cream and sugar with your coffee, sir?
J: Yes, please.
W: Just a minute.
J: What's the weather forecast for today?
A: Chance of snow and temperatures in the teens until Tuesday.
Oh, no! How can you stand Boston winters?
J: Good question. I bet you miss Vietnam. What's the weather like there now?
A: Around seventy degrees. It's warm in January, but it rains a lot.
J: Well, I prefer rain to snow and ice.
W: Here's your coffee and tea. I hope it warms you up!
The problem of learning foreign languages is very important today. Students should learn foreign
languages. They became important especially at the present time. Foreign languages are needed as the
main and most efficient means of information exchange between the people of our planet.
Today English is the language of the world. Over 350 million people speak it as a mother tongue. The
native speakers of English live in Great Britain, in the United States of America, Australia and New
Zealand. English is one of the official languages in the Irish Republic, Canada and South African Republic.
As a second language it is used in the former British and US colonies.
It is the major international language for communication in such areas as science, technology, business
and mass media. English ought to be used as one of the official languages of the United Nations
Organisation and other political organisations. It is the language of computer software, literature,
education, modern music, international tourism.
Learning a foreign language is not an easy thing. It is a long and slow process that takes a lot of time and
patience. But every educated person, every good specialist has to know English because it is absolutely
necessary nowadays.
It is well known that reading books in the original, talking with the English speaking people will help a
lot. When learning a foreign language you are to learn the culture and history of the native speakers.
You may any foreign language. They are all important.