MOVEMENT ONE: MUSIC

Li,glr,ts rise on a stage with nothing but a piano and, a

girl, namtd, totrttNDA, d,oun i,n front.
It is known, by the few that know enough to care
AI,IAIIDA"
and care enough to know that any piece of music has
one of two beginnings, They are gendered. One is
female. The other is male. Isn't that strange?
Lights fade down on AMAI{DA and thm rise again,
instantly. Lihe a bli.nk.

AIIIAI{DA" I have become increasingly aware of the tyranny

of gender, It's everywhere. We're obsessed with it. Men
and women. Wouren and men. How they differ, How
they fit" We don't use gender nouns in English. A door
is just a door; it's not a girl or a boy door. That used to
make me feel superior to French people. Now I envy
them. If I had known, as a child, that EVERYTHING
has a sex, I would not have wasted so much time trying
to be a f,amous composer. Le compositeur. It doesn't
have a feminine.
Lights d,own and up again, AMANDA's mothermfi,
afi/ears and hands ha an oboe.

AMANDA. But such information was deliberately withheld

from me. My mother, who was too stoned to help out
much during the feminist revolution, was nevertheless
quite proud that it had occurred during the bloom
of her youth. She insisted that I reap the benefits. By
becoming something totally extraordinary.
IaM. Play the oboe. Nobody plals the oboe.
AMANDA"An oboist.
KIM arifs. AITIAI\DA wets th,e reed. Thc lights go doam
and, come up.
 A FEMININE ENDING A TEMININE ENDING

AMANDA- There 's a reasoll nobody plays the oboe. If played JACtto who ha.s fi,nished setting up the bedroom, tahes
a spotlight, downstage lnfi, and sings something to tlto
PoorlY - aud;imce.
AMANDA blows a pi,tchl,ess sort'ntl.
A!,iANDA"He has this way of convincing every person in the
AMANDA" - It sounds like a dying duck. But if playecl well - audience that he is siuging directly to them. His man-
AMANDA plays a pmfect A. ager, Hillary calls it "star quality". She says that's w;hat
AMANDA. It is the sound that tuues the entire orchestra. separatesJack from the people who sing in subways'
Strong and lorrely. The instrument whose tonal qual- Hillary says star quality boils down to whether or not a
ity best approximates a human voice' And it can't normal person thinks you would sleep with them, Hil-
be tuned. There are no strings to tighten or gears to lary says the quality manifests itself differently in men
adjust. It cannot be anything other than it already is. and women. Iremale stflrs need to be warm and inviting
It's like the Hamlet of instmments. and it helps if they seem a little conftrsed. Or slightly
AI\{ANDA starts to play slnuly. She stops huser depressed. But the male star must make each woman
believe he would choose her from a crowd to seduce'
AMANDA" It is known, by the few that know enough to care
So he can't be depressed at all. A woman has to see
and care enough to know, that any piece of music has
her future in his eyes. Hillary says tttis is because men
one of two beginnings. They are gendered. A mascu-
want to fuck and run and woman want to submit and
line piece begins with an emphasis or "stre$$" on the
be kept. Before Hillary became a manager, she wrote
first beat. A feminine piece begins with the "stress" on
self-help books for single women. And that, according
the second beat. Or sometimes, the third.
toJack, is what makes her the best in the business.
This is a feminine beginning.
JACK srqps singtng and, approachdsAlvlANDA.
EntarJAC,K. Thel smile at each othen He tafus the oboe
and exits. JACK. Hey.
AMANDA" Gorgeous, isn't he? That's Jack Handel. If you AIIANDA. Hey.
haven't heard of him yet - you're about to. He's going JACK I really enjoyed your piece tonight'
to be "huge". Everyone says so. AMANDA" Really?

IACJi sturts hringtng on thefwniture of thei;r apartmmt' t was thinking - we should collaborate on something.
JACI{"
He sets it up behind t*tx:tDL a,s she speaks. AMANDA" That would be great! I'm working on a woodwind
AMANDA. We met in New York City. We were both get- quartet right now but I could totally change the oboe
ting our gradrnte degrees in music. I had become a to voice.
composer. That's a common progression for a career JACK Why dott't we start with something a little easier?
oboist. Because we tune the orchesua we begin to AMANDA" LiKC whAt?
think symphonically very early on'
;ACI( Like this.
Jack was ayear behind me, mqjoring in voice.
fiACK ftessarAMANDA)
There's a club in the basement of the university and

l on Tuesdays they have an open mic night. I used to go

sometimes and play my latest compositions.Jack would
always be there, singing.
AMANDA" See, for me, the quartet is easier.
JACK kissasAMANDL a,ga,in and maaes her back upstaga
Th€) fall on the bed, hissi,ng. Lights down.
l0 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING ll

MOVEMENT TWO: FAME AMANDA pluys somc law, croahing chords.

AMANDA. The front door opens with the first burst of sun,
The lights com,e up again, sudd,utry. JACK is skepi,ng. and then ...
AMANDA is sitting up, with th,e coaers pulbd, arou'nd
her'
AMANDA'slngus Jloat ouer the kefioard.

I knew it, I
AMANDA- (a conspiracy ui.th the aud;ience) Before AMANDA"And then...
wasJack Handel's girlfriend. And suddenly I was the AI,IANDA gets lo.st in the moment of cornpo.sition. She
target of unmitigated resentment from every hipless doesn't know the chmd,
hipster below fourteenth street. Because anybody who
was anybody in the know already knew that.|ack Handel AMANDA" And then...
was about to be huge. AI\{ANDA sl,owly, softly begins to pln,y Cho|in's n€ry rec-
CK snures loudly and twns oaer.
ognizabk Noctunn,c No. 2 in, E-flat.IACK uahes up. He
J
sits up in be.d. Td,kes the earplugs out of his ew*
AMANDA sneaks quietly out of bed, tnapped in the bed-
sheet, a'nd, sits down at ha piano. She puts hu hands on JACI{" Did you write that?
the hefioard, thm hnns back to the aud'im,ce. AMANDA shahes her head.
AMANDA. In the moments he isn't singing, Jack is a hot AMANDA" Chopin.
mess. But I like that about him. Taking care of him Huh. He sounds like you"
JACIi
makes me feel strong. Competent. Like awoman, Well,
AMANDA" Did I wake you? I'm sorry.
like my mother anyway.
At night, we lie in bed together, hands clasped and JACIi lt's okay. I was having a nightmare. I was farnous.
talk about how to activate our potential. AMANDA nods, ^Sh,e
heeps pkying.
Jack sleeps with earplugs because I get all my best ideas JACK" Everyone around me had beaks instead of noses,
in my dreams.
AMANDA keeps playing.
She tu,m,s to the piano. Sh,e tums back to the audimce.
JACK Will you still love rne when I'm famous?
AMANIIA" There's this song I want to write. I've been hear-
ing it my whole life in my head. It goes like this... AMANDA srops.

She tums to the pian,o. Puts her hands on the hqboard,. JACK why'd you stop?
Turu,s bach. maarvna. Ycru make it sound inevitable.

AMANDA.It begins with the sound of snow urelting on the JACI{"Youjust have to trust that life has a road mapped out
roof of the house I grew up in and dripping slowly for you.
from the gutter into tin pails,.. AMANDA" Is that fiom your Celebrity Quotes Calendar?
JACKYeS.
AIvrANDA ltlays some aay high, tin-sound,ing notes.
AMANDA- Who said it?
AMANDA. And then the frogs that live in the tin pails
JACIL Orlando Bloom.
awaken...
r2 A FEMININE ENDING A EEMININE ENDING l,

Beat. JACII I know.

Not everyone has a tmst fund.
AMANDA"
AII{ANDA smibs. She turns back to the piano and pl,a,ys
aftu measures. JACKWow. Okay. Hey, bite me.

JACK I like Chopin. IACKhmr his back on hn androlk oau. Rni.ou,s.

AMANDA" This stuffis mine. AMANDA" I'm sorry.

JACIL How's the syrnphony coming? JACK. You should be. That money keeps my whole family
AMANDA- It's coming. shackled to my father. He tells my sister who to marry.
He tells my mother what medication to take.
JACIi I can't wait to hear it.
AMANDA" Neither can I. AMANDA" I know.
JACK He tells me that after I get this music thing out of my
AMANDA siglts. Frustrated,.
slstem, I'm going to business school.
JAC& It'$ clearly time for my secret symphony-summoning AIIIANDA" I know. I know.
dance.
JACIi No, you don't, because you've got these provincial
AIIIANDA"Your what? little parents who think you're a genius.
JA([I Go ahead. Start playing. AMANDA. What wa.$ your news?

AMANDA starts playing the beginning of hn syrnphony. JACI(What?

JAC,K starts to d,ance, silly but joyousl,y. AMANDA"YoU said you had something to tell me.

JACIT Keep plalang. I think it's working. JACK Oh. I got a manager. Her name is Hillary. She repre-
sents Nick Lachey.x
AMANDA shahes hu head.lttcI< stups dancing.
AMANDA" Are you serious?
AMANDA"YoU amaze me. JACILYeah.
JACIi Come back to bed and I'll really knock your socks AMAND.{Jack!
off. JAcri. Whar?
AMAI.{DA gets bach in the bed,. AMAND.{ That's great.

AMANDA" I have something to tell you JACI{. She thinks I should quit school and concentrate.
AMANDA" Are you going to do it?
JACK I have something to tell you. You go first,
AMANDA" I got offered ajob. Composing. JACIi I don't know. I was going to ask you what I should
do. Befcrre I got angry at you. Now I don't know who
JACK Baby! For which orchestra? to ask.
AMAND.dJingles. For an advertising firm.
AIT,IANDA" I think you should do it.
JACIL Oh. Hey that's something.
JACI( You do?
AIUANDA" It's money.
AMANDA" Absolutely.
JAQL Money is good. father will disorvn me.
JACI{. My
AMANDA" I need to make a livingJack.
AMANDA" Who cares?
* If Nick Lachey is no longer relevant, substiturc the name of a
rrew Blist popsthr.
t4 A FEMININE ENDING A TEMININE ENDING t5

JACKHe'll stop sending me an allowance. KIM.AREYOU INSAN[?!

AMANDA- I have money. I write advertisingjingles. AMANDA" (into the receiaer) I don't think so. Why?

JACIL No - AIIIANDA holds the receiue,r bach out.

AMANDA" I can pay the rent for a while. IflM. They have organizations for people who want. to throw
JACIL No! I didn't mean - I just wanted to know if you their money away, Amanda. They're called charities.
thmrght it was a good idea.
AMANDA- (into the recefuer) I'm not throwing my money
Ail,tANDA" It's a great idea. You have to do it. away.
JACKYoU're not paying my rent - KIM.You're not?
AMANDA- It will only be for a little while - AMANDA" No.Jack is, like, an investment.
JACI& It might take longer. xttvt. Mutual funds are, like, investments. Aspiring musi-
AMANDA.Jack Handel. You are going to be huge' Everyone cians in NewYork are like garbage disposals.
says so.
JACK Baby?
JACIL And then I'll pay for you.
JACIi entsrs, holding sarnething behind, hi"s back. He's
.cMANoA- Deal.
trying to galAMANDA's attenti,on"
They gnn at each other
AMANDA" Mom, I gotta go.
JACJL You and I are going to have an extraordinary life. rru. What about your mlrsic, Amanda? When are you going
AMANDA- Will we be mad with happiness? to work on that?
JACIi I won't be. AMANDA" I'm working on it,
AMANDA.Why not? xIM. When was the last time you finished a piece?

JACIT [t's not in my nature. I will have a horizon pool, hnw- AMANDA" I'm working on a syrnphony. They take a while.
ever.
JACK grous i.mpatienl.
AMANDA- I want to be happy.
AMANDA" I'll call you back, okay?
JACIi I cal't promise you that. I can only promise you a
horizon pool and an extraordinary life. KIM. You're throwing your life away - all your god-given
it
- on a good-for-nothing -
talent
JACKT phone starts to ring. He pichs uP.
AMANDA.I love you too -
JACP* ( surprised. ) It's Hillary. KIM. Amanda, I have to talk to you. It's about your father -
AMANDA" Give my love to Daddy. Bye.
JLClr lnad,$ off the stage.
AMANDA" (to th.e audimce) I know what you're thinking. You AI\,IANDA hangs up the phone.
don't have to say it. My mother already did.
JACIL I got you a Christmas present.
Kfiit, snters wi,th a ph7ne. AMANDA picks up a phone in AMANDA" It's a little early.
her beilroom and hokk the recei,an directly out towards JACK I couldn't wait.
the aud,imco. The sound, echoes throu,gh the theatu'e.
JACJd pulk a ring box from behind. his ba,ch.
l6 A FEMININE ENDING A T'EMININE ENDING t7

JACX" Will you marry me, Amanda Blue? AII,IANDA" MOM?

AMANDA" Did you steal that? Knr. Oh Amanda, thank god. Your father is in the other
room, so I can't talk too loudlY -
JACI( I bought it.
AMANDA" With what? AMANDA" I'm getting married!

JA(IL Money. IoM siols. Holds th,e fihone out. Stara at iL

AMAND{ Your father's money? you hear me? Hello?
AI\{ANDA" Can
JACXL I signed.
xn'r hangs up the phane and ualk,s oflstasq out of the
AMAND,{YoU whAt?
li,ght,
JACI{" I
signed. I signed. With Virgin record$, baby. I'nr
going to cut an album! AIT,IANDA" MOM?

AMAIIDA" You signed?! When? $LQKreenWs.

JACK This afternoon. Hillary sent my demo toVirgin. They
;ACK Hillary said nobody likes a married rock star. She
called me into their offices and asked me all about wanLs to know if we'd consider having a baby out of
myself. I told them about me and a little about you and
wedlock instead,
we signed a contract and then they gave me money to
auANDA.You told her no, right?
buy you something nice. I was gonna get you a new
oboe, but then I thought about this. gtC,K tafus out his Phone. Presses a num,ben Smibs at
AIITANDA.
Beat.

What do you think?. JAC/6. (Intl the phone) Hi, Hillary it'sJack. Ah .,. she says
no.
AMANDA" I don't knowwhat to say,

JACK Will you wear it? IL(jjKh,angs up the phonh O/AMAi{DAb look -
AMANDA" I'll wear it. JACII I hate saying no to my manager'
;ACf,LYou'll wear it? Then you like it? AMANDA t&a offherring.
AI\[AND.{.I do.
JACI{" Oh no, don't do that. Why are you doing that? Listen,
Thel hiss. this is all new to me. I don't know how to behave.
AMANDA" I have to call my mother. I have to tell her. There seem to be these rules * but no one tells you
I'm gonna call my manager. what they are - and I don't want to piss anybody off'
JAtxL Okay, call youi riother.
Notjust for me - for you as well. I'm trying to build us
JLCI.I ercits. \,\,
a life, an extraordinary life.
Al\,IAtlDA picks up the phone. AI\{ANDA puts th,e ring ba'ch on.
,:,
Li,ghts bach up onKIM's ph,orw. It ri,ngs.lffi$ rush,es on A mail slot in the d,oor opens up a'nd, a thick enaelope
to answer it.
falk througlt.
KM. Hello? JACIL How long have we been talking like this?
 19
l8 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING

,AMANDA- Aborrt fcxrr rnonlhs. AMANDA. \A'hcn was suppost:t1 t.o do it? I haven't even
I
shir. rvorkcd on rny symphorry in weeks' l'm' like' eight'!in-
glr:s berhincl' 'i'lr" t-u*" is a rlisaster" I havr:
JACX" a weclding
JLCIK'rlt.slt es o.f[ stuge. to plan -
a wcdcling would bc sut:h a
Sotn.athere on, set, a Ptoiecti,on flashes "lbrtr MorttlLs IACIL I didrr't rcalize plarruing
Lattr" lhut, d isa,ltpears. t:ltort: -
AMANDA. Of course you clidn't' Be<;ause ,vort haven't helped
AMANDA. Last summer; I linishcd a corrcerto that I was par-
ticularly proud of and subrnittc<I it. f<lr consideration with any of it.
in the New York Symphonique's Spring Ne.w Voices llco,l.
I'estil,al. A rnonth ago, I got a lctter saving it had been not conlposirrg' 'fhere's the
clro$en as a {inalist. Norv the New York Syrnphonique lA(:K It is not my fault you're
godtlamn Piano.
is not. the Philharurouic but it. is a New Vrrk orchr:s-
AMANDA ['ttt'tt,s o,uily .fr"orn lt'im' She rips open'
her
tm and a good one. A coucerto al the spring festival
would launch luy career'. T'tre finalists are supposed to pachage.
submit a personal statcmerlt. All I've got dorvn so far is you just' coille out to dintter
"Please pick rne." It rvas due last rvelck. l/\(iK. Anla]rda, I'ttr sorlry' Can't
trow aud hate mc later?
IACJK but'sts through the d.oor, and, pirAs u.p Lh,e package.
IlBa,l,, No resPonse.

JACIL l{ey. Wtro is that [r'our?

AMANDA. t.Iey.
AMANDA. ()ne of Your farts'
JACILYon got a package.
lA(lKYou'rc npening rny fan mail
now?
IIe hanrls AMANDA th,e pa,r:ha,ge. Sh,e looks al lhe AMANDA. It was addresst:cl to me'
lA(lK (;iv(: rne that.l
addruss.

AMANDA" Who's Katrina? utt'd

AMANDA hands IAC]K the pucka'ge' He looks ins'i'd'e
JAC(.Wrat are you doing? rucoi.ls rtt i'ts contents.
AMANDA" Writing rny personal *
lA(iIL What is that?
JACri \Ahnt to go out to clinner witl'r thc Presidetrl. of AMANDA,It's a blnodY tamP0n'
Virgin?
lAoK'l'his - this is sick'
AMANDA" As in Records? Sure! \Mren?
AMiNDA (handingJach the t'et'la1'{nd a death thrcat'
;ACIL lUght nou,. Irr fact, wc're late.
lh(:K. (r'ea,d,tng) tlillary saici
this might happen iI I
AMANDA. Wait, wtrat? Il' rtreans
illltlotlll.a,,1 ,ry engagelnerlt' If.'s a good sign'
JACIi I'rn sorry - I rneant to call you earlier but the day I'tn dcvc:lo1:ing a loyal fan basc' They don't want me
went by so quick. to get rnarried. You sltould probably just slop openmg
AMANDA. But I have to write this statenrent of interest tlrc ttrail.
tonight. li'k'e '\otr''ua got ltt be ki'tklin'g
AMANDA looks atl[Cx
JACK You haven't donc that yet?
 A tr'EMININE ENDING A TEMININE ENDING

rne", KIM. I can't tell you about it over the phone -

AMANDA.Is it illegal?
JACI( I'll talk to her, okay. I'm sony. And I'm tired af being
sorry. Can't you try a little harder to understand what ruu. Hold on a second, your father's just leaving -
I'm going through? I'm $cared, baby. What if my album AMANDA" Where's he going?
is terrible? What if nobody buys it? I dropped our of xrM. He has a conference this weekend in Toronto - (call-
school. I hzwe nothing to fall back on. ing offilage) f)avicl, dear, you better go outsicle - the
taxi will be here any moment.
The tel,ephone rings. AMANDA andpCr looh at each
other Amand,a's.father, DAvfr , appears d.own stage ri,ght, uith
a suitcase in hi,s hand. He lnoks tired,.
AMANDA" It's nr:t. for me.
JACIi Will you get dressed? DAvID. Aren't you going to kiss me good-bye?
All{AND.d Fine. I(M. I can't darling, I'm on the phone with your daughter.
She's having a breakdown,
Amanda heads offstage.
AMANDA. No I'm ncIt,!
pichs up the phona
IACJK
KIM. (r0 DAVID) I'll blow you a kiss from here.
JACr{" Hello? Ktld blows DAVTD a, hiss. He watches it fly past his
AMANDA" (refamcing the l,atter) If it's Katrina, tell her "cease" shoudm
is spelled with one s and "desist" is spelled with tr,vo.
DAVID.I missed.
JACK lt's your mother.
DL\$D and, his suitcase opm the door and exit.
AMANDA takes the phone JromlACK.ILCII points to his
watch ond rnouths "fi,ue m,inutes". Sha nods. He tahes tilM. Are you coming or not?
the bloody tampon and, bner ffitage. AMANDA"Who me?
AMANDA. Hi Mom. IflM.Yes or no, Mandy. Say yes.

Spotkght I.tp 2nKNt, talking on the phone d,ownstage. J C$re-sntus. He poi,nts to his uatch.

tru. What are you doing? AMANDA. You can't give me a clue as to what this is all
AMANDA, Right now? I'm talking ro you. about?
XIM. Can you come home? KrM. Amanda, tlere comes a time in er.,ery young womail's
Iife where she urust take a giant step forward into the
AMANDA" To New Hampshire?
abyss we call maturiry and acknowledge the painful,
f(tM. Are you free?
terri$ring truth that her mother is a human being.
AMANDA" When?
AMANDA" I know you're human, Mom.
KIM. Now.
KIM. Are you coming or not?
AMANDA" What's ttre matter?
AI\{ANDA" Of course, if you need me to come, I'll corne -
xIM.I need your help with something. xru. Good. Leave now I'll start dinner.
AMANDA" What?
 22 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING 23

KIM hang., ttlt th,c Nthone. Lights doant. on,KIM. AMANDA lm,'nd.s lhe phone lolACK a'n,d goes rffitagc lo
t h,an,ge.
JACK What's up?
AMANDA. fhat. rvas my mother. l^(K I Icy FIil.
JACI{. She hares nre. Yt'ah, I'm all rcady to go.
AMANDA. Shc doesrr't hate you. No, I partecl it. a lit.tle oflcentct; like we talked abr.rttl".

;ACI( Yes she cloes. It docsn,t rnatter. [n a f<_:w year.s, I,l[ be Y<ralr, I ttrink it opens up nly fa.ce too. Amanda's.iust
Iirra,ci,g hcr.r'etir.merrt, so she'll have to br_, nicc to clrartging.
my {acr:. She wants you to gcl snmeu,here? ,\nrirnda, she's -
AMANDA" Yes. Houle. ( )h, she isn't? Ilul I thougtrt he said I shorrld briug a -
()h. 0h.
JACK Wiren?
AMANDA" Toilight. No, lhat's great.
No, I undcrsl.antl.
JACK Why?
AMANDA. I think somedring,s wrorlg,
\i:ah, ncl problcrn. See you soott. Byc.

JACK Whar? AMANDA xtertl,ers, look'ing l,oue$, i,n, a, liltk hLack dtuss
ttrrtl lmel,s. Sh,e's prtlting on, ca:rrings.
AMANDA. She wnulcln'r tcll mc.
JACK You told hcr you'rl corne? ,\r\rANDA. Is this okay?
AMAND.d I said, if she nee',decl me _ I/\(:K. You look amaziug.
JACK What almur clinner? \NTANDA. I'rn excitccl. Oh, I have to call rny fllotn back -
AMANDA" I... I'll call trer back. ,\he rcach,es.for th,e plwne. He. stops h,er.

JACKYouT rnom is finc. She,s jusl loncly. Ancl she krrows

shc can ca.ll you up and gel yolr to clrolr everything l,\(:t( I I frrckcd u1'l. I{illary. Invitcd
-'l'<lrriglrl. hersell'.'ftr go rvith
rrrt:.
because she breastfecl yorr guilt rnilk. yr_rri're u i*"rty-
five year clk_l wornarrl yorr're getriltli rnar.ried. Call hcr ,\|\{ANDA. As yorrr datc?
-lhety
back and tell her yru have zr r:onrrnitrrent this weck_ I,\(lt( N(), il's a htuiness dinner, r'eallv. say bt'ing'a
errcl but you would be happy to visit hcr sometirne "rlatr:" brrt yott'rc supposed to brirrg your rnanager.
next weck. Okay? t,,11rryonc krrows that apparerrtly. llxt:cpt mc.
AMANDA" Okay-[ack. '
l' I r,t ulru,rl,rn,en,l, ltr tuer ltuzz,es.
JACI{" The lin:o will lte here in thr.ee rnintrtes to pick us
up. l,\(;l(.'l'ha['s hr:r rrow. I'trt sorry.
,\MANDA.'fhilt's okay.
Th,e phone rin,gs again,. AMANDA anytters i,t.
l,'\(:l(. I u()lr't stay ()u1. latc.
AMANDA. MonT? ,\r\rANDA.'lhkr: your tirne. I have to write nty Personal
Bea,l.
sl;rl(:lIIcltt -
l,\(:l(. l'l(:us(: clon't go to New Ilampshirc tonight.
It's l-Iillary.
,'l .sliglt,l lnut.
 A FEMININE ENDING A TEMININE ENDING 25

AMANDA" Okay. MOVEMENT THREE: MARRIAGE

JACL \A,k'll talk abcmr everything wtrcn I gct horne.
AMANDA" Surc.
JACK u,n,d,DAYtD ta,ke off th,e .fitrn:i,htre oJ. th,e Nat
,4.i

Tlv hrtzztr buzzc.s ngnirt. Ynh a,pu,rtute'nt u.nd lting' ort tlte turn,itttlu of the Neut
I lan(tshirc h,ott,se, Atrt,a,tld.a. m,oaes ba,ck down,stage artd,
JACIi We are "this" close to an extr.aordinarv lifc. ullrlrus se s Lhe. aud i en ce.
AMAND.d.|ack, go.
,\MANDA. (di'rer:t ad,dre.ls) When I was a girl, a.rourtrl twelve
JACI( I love you. ()r so - I warttcd to write arl oPel'a. I kncw that Mozart
JACK lrisspJ lwr antl leaues. had dore it cvt:n eirrlir:r irntl lte was a boy, so I frgrrred
AMANDA pichs up the klelilr,o,ne. it couldn't be that hard.
()pcras are about ltx'e but at twelr,c thr: only person I
Light up o?tKI}{\ phone, ringtng. ]KtM ert,ters anrl pichs
'it up.
truly lovercl was uly mother. I thought. she was terrilir:.
So I deciclcd to write an oper-a about her.
KIM.IIeIIo? Whetr I was young I hcard hannony everrr'wherr:' 'I'he
AMANDA" I'm ou lny 1vay. garbage tnlck harutonizecl rvittt the lawn tnower" 'Ihe
rlisltwashcr harrtrnuiz<rcl with the air cr:trdit"ionr:r' My
Light,s d,own,.
rrrot.her harrnonizcd with my fathcr. flteir harmony
was the mosl bcarttiful. Intricatc but elfortless' L]vr:n
whcn thcy argued. It's all about. tralatlce. Onc voicc,
onc sl.rarrd, complitncnts t.hr: otltet: through cr:rttlatlic-
tion. So whcn trty nlother hits a series of'rapitl sliding
lrigh notcs like:
KIM ?,n,tn's art,d, .spea.hs l;o tlrc aud:itn,cc.

tit M. "I)avidwhatdtryouthinkyourdoing?Your:aunotiuviteyo
rrrbossove:r'fordinnert onightrvehavenof<rodin drchouse
an dthe re'salllizzardconrin gauclbesi<lesdoll<xlklikcyou
rrnotltertoyou?"
AMANDA. My lather: woukl intr:r-jcct low, st?rccat"o notes at
punct.uat ittg iutcrvals like:

DAVID .staNts wh,a,lnu lw's doing, prr,t.s tloun uh.a['atsr

h,e's li[ting, nrd, JacesKrM.

lilM. "Davidwhatdoyouthinkyourdoing?/Ytxrcannotitlvitcy-
ouilrr)ssover{ordinnertoniglt twehavenolootlin thehort-
seandthe rcsablizzarclcoutingartdbesidesdol looklikc'.y-
(D[rrrothertoyou?"
 A TEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING 9,7

DAVID. (i.n,lerrtill,irlg'Kim,s tl,ial:ribr) .,1 thorrght _,,\lright _ I,ll ,\iltANDA..Jack, Morn, you knorv.|ack. N{y liartt:(re.
t:all - Kirn -
l,uorrghl" \ttrr'r'r: still st:eing him, I gallrcr?
trlt\{..f ar:k. l'cs.
AMANDA. And they'd be hirrrrrrtrrizitrg. \l\lANDA. \\tr'r'r: r'ngagc<l N4otrt.
DAWD (,rulKIM glnt€ n,t, enclt. ol,her. ri,ln. ( )lr rlorr'l stry tlrat.
.\t\,tANDA. Wltv rlon't y<.lrr likr,: hirrr? [ [t-''s a rt:ally tr;riotl grry.
AMATTDA. Anrl sorrrctirrres, nhen yt-ru lcast expec.te<l it, thr,:y,d
r:.r,e ba<:k toucther; irt the hciglrt ,f l.hr,t i,ter.val, so tttu. IIt.'s un[)eara[)ly forrnal.
r:.nrpk:tcly y'. wt_rrrld thi,k th.rt: ha<l [rr-,rr .nlv ,,e rllANDA.\iur rnakc hirn nr:nortsl
sirnlllt: mckrdy all alolrg. Onc voice. No parrir.ir:rr. rrrM. I (l()n'l rnake anyon() ll('r'volrs. Not cvcrt srprirrcls.
KIMAND DAYID. I hcarrl youl \r\,rANDA. SrIrirrr:ls?
KIM O,?l,d, DAVID CIII. rtlM.'I'lrcy <krn't {iud nrr: iulirnidatiug. Not in thc k:itst.
['.r,<'r'yonr: clsc - tlrr:y'r'c ali'ai<l cil'. Vurr lather lrrrks in
Lights thifi. AMANDA I.rr,ttt.s atLd, srul,rlen,lt, .sh,e,s in. I,lte
tlrcir rlirt:t:tiorr irurl t.hev s<:atlet. llttt ut:, I'll be rvalkirrg
h,ouse in Nntt lla,nrlnhire. 'l'lte nnttt is lil h ca.n,dlrttigh.t.
tkrr,vrr llrc r()a(l, arr(l thcrc, r'iglrt itr lhe rnid<llc o{'tltc
I l,',s d,e c orated. " c ol.ot t i u,l ly " t rt ith rt roor k r t i gt rti,n,e.; and,
.f pirtlr, t.u,o srprirrcls rvill be having ?tn argurlleut -
hutrl-diNtperl cntul,ks, .lnmih
ltitt,rtrvs ott, the. rtnrLll.r, att.tl, \r\tANDA, Atr argrrrrtent?
a, pia.n,o irt l,lt,e corn,tr.
trtl\,t. r\ <lisr:ussir>rt. A r:ortvt:lsali<tn. Wh,al,nta lltc ltoitrt is,
I'n. tlrc un,l,n of.tlLe rotmt, tty randlclight, t\tM i.s pal:k_
llr<'y, 1l1rrr', rnovt:, Not cvr:tt whctr I'm Iralf a firt.ll. arvay
i,n.g a suitrasc uay rarcfful,l1, ituali,st.ir:ol,ly, htittg tisrue
liorn lhr:ru. N()t (:v(:n if I st.cJr ()ver fhctu.'I'ltcy slily
tta,per in knu's betueen. the arl.icles ol'r:ktttting.
riglrt wht:r'r: ltrcy alc.,,\s if I wasn'l- cvcn lhcrc, As il'I
AMANDA" (rrfiI,y) Monr? rli<Lr't r:vr.rr cxist. I havt: bccomr: irtvisibk:.
\NIANDA. N(), Mour, yorr'rc jrrsl irr a nrt *
KtM bohs ult. (ktslts.
t'lM. l)o n()t l)ilv nrer. I'rn not s('ckinf{ syt.ltpath)/. It was a
KIM. Why dirlrr'r yorr krrock? r lt'liItt:r'atc choic<:. I'hasc ortt:.
AMANDA.'I'hc lights wcr(' orrt. I rlid.'t trri.k arv.,. \vas .\t\ti\NDA, I'lrasr: 0nr:?
Itortrt:.
hll\4. ,.\l('y()lr awarC Illat y()u'r() rcpcatirrg evcrythirrg I say?
KIM. G<lo<I. 'I'har's the lroirrt, isrr,t ir?
,\t\,t/\NDA. Wltal ilrr: vt:u talkirtg atrout?l
AMANDA- Wrat's the point, Morn?
ruNl. V)u.ilrst riaid "llhitst: onc", a{icr I did. llarlicr yrltr said
KIM. Vacaucy. Abandr.xtnrerrt. It lvorrlcl b<l pointl<:ss t<r "Srlrirrt:ls"? Anrl thr:u "iul Argrutr()rtl"? Ytxr'rc uyirtg to
knock. ()r stolr in fix a c]rat, \{,,r: a.[e, s() vcry tlcarly, lrt'littkr mt:. Ihrl, iI won't rvotk. ['rtr tlctt:urtittt:<l to do
Irclt al lt<lnrr:. il.
AMANDA, Yxt witnl pcollk-. to thiuk you'vr,: ur.rrrc away? \r\lr\NDA. l)t:lcrurincd to rlo it?
KIM. I rrr.st lrr: lcli al(xlc t() rv,r'k in pcace. I)id a,y.,c st:e htu. I ll('11' y(nl !{(} agairr -
you colu(: irr? Docs auyone kn<t.n, y<ttr,r.c lrcrt:? ,\l\rANI)A, Wlrat alc you rlt:terllrint:rt lo d()?
AMANDA..Jack knows lvhcrc I am.
lltul..
KIM. Wro?
1(lNl. l,caVC yorrr lirthcr, o['cr)rrLsc.
 I
A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING

AMANDA si,ls tl,ottryt,. She is .stulrlcn.ll rcr\, uer) l,i:rcd. l)ott'l giv<l rtty address ()llt allylrlor(:, okay?
,\M,\NDA.

()f KrM. Why? I)kl stre' s(:lld a lettcr?

AMANDA. r:ourst:.
,\r\,lANDA. lt's.jrrst ll()t a g()o(l idca.
KIM.Yorr-ir-rst did ir ;lguinl
r(tM.,\r'c you hrrrtgty? I rnade tuna ttt<llts.
AMANDA When?
,\r\,rANDA. M<[tt, [ -
KIM. l'his wcekcrrd.
AMANDA.'l'lrat.'s nhy vorr nccdecl rn(: to come ltp.
t(tM.'l'llailk Yotl s() rnrrr:lt {<lr cornirtg, NIan<ly' Ylt t:au't pos-
sibly inraginc wltat it tnr:atls. [t's tirrrr:s like ttrt:se wht:tl
KIM. "ltl hclp rnc pa<:k. M/e neecl to bc gorrr: by tht: t.irur: -fhat rlidn't
I r<:rrtcmbr:r.rvll' I harl a darrglttt't. (Ileut)
yorrr lather colnes houre.
r'ontc t-rul rigltt,
AMANDA. Whir:h is?
\r\,rANDA, l)on't tlrallk lIlL-. You ktrou' I'nt lcavirtg'
KIM.'lilrnorrow nighl.
rrtM. V)u.just g<tl htlrrl.
Itu,tt,st. \l\tANDA. :\ttd I rtlalizt: I rtratlt-' a tttislak<,:. Scl I'nr lt:ilvittg'
KIM.'I'hirt's plelr{y ol' tirnr,:, r\manrla. trlrr'1. I think sotttcll<:<ly's a littlc ctatlkl'. I think sontt:trtldv
corrld rrse a lltrla ttttllt -
|Vo rcsltouse.
\r\t;\NDA. I ltavt: a wr:cltlirlg 1o lllan Motrt. I havc a.irill' I
KIM. Al scltool, somc: <tf'my sturlt:nls srrort ldtalin whcrr Irltv<: a lilb llar:k itt Nc:'rv]irrk that I r:attttot trclitlvc I let
tlrcy lrave trr stay up all lright t<i sturly. 'I'hcy gzrvc rnt: v()lr coax nr(| awily li'otn bt:causc Darl is Qottt: {irr tltel
sclnre, in porvck:r liinn. (irourrd it r.ight. therc in fi.ont rvtrt:kctttl anrl ytxr' t't: feelin g lol tt:lr'.
olt lne.
l)cal,.
I(IJVI l,akcs som.t. wlt,il,e ftoutd,e,r out ol her lnrrse to slunrt
tilM. I'lr) k:avirt[i yottt {alhr:r, ;\ntitrtrla.
AMANDA.
\r\,rANDA, L,ikc hcll y(nl arc.
KIM. Is thaI what c<lcaine Icloks like?
trtM. Wlty rlo yott{hink ['t'e packt-'<l tltis stritt ase?
AMANDA. I rktn't krrow, Morn. I tlclrr'l rkr crik<:. \MANDA. Bt:t:attst: y()lr'tc brlrccl atttl yott't'e looking [irl a
KIM. Still, rr()lry that.la(:k's a r-ockstar, \,()u rnust be exlrost:rl lunt.asy t() (:Ill(:ltailr. 'fhis istr't Iht: {'irst tiutC yott'vt:
t() il. r lorr<: tttis. I{ctttcrttllt:t- Nartlrrckt:l ?

AMANDA. IIe's not a ror:kslar. hlM.'l'Ilat rvas rli{Ii:r't:ttt.'

KIM.'I'hat's trot nrhat rny strrclents say. \I\{ANDA. IIow wirs thitt rlilltrcrlt?
AMANDA. Yortr studclrts arc talking aborrr.fat:k? luN{. I (li(ln't go t.llr(ntgll wit}t it ltrcrt.
KIM.'fhc clrrcs that snorl llitalin arc. 'l'hcy srimchorv firtrrrl \MANDA. Arttl y<[t'rt: rtttt going to Qo lltt'otrgh rvith il tttlru
his rvt:bpaur: an(l sau, hc had <lctlir:irtr:rl sorne songs l() \\It:'tc goirtg l'ic(:: Rr()tIDd thc ltcxrst: all rvt:eketttl, itt llter
Autarula Ilhrc. 'I'hcy ouly wantc(l to knon, if yuu arrrl I tlat'k irltJrart'nlly, llackirrg llp lll(l silvt:r atrd lltc cltitta
w<:r'<: rrrl;rtt:d. I gavr: {hcrn yorrr.addlcss. 'I'lrcy warrtc<l rrrtrl tltt: littctrs -
t(tM. l'IIl lcavitrg tltc lincns. '['ltt:y'rc hicle<'rtts'
to sorrd hirn sorrrr:llring to sigu. 'l'hr:y
AMANDA. Morn, tkr you lravt-- a sltrdcllt rrarncrl lia.tr-ina? lx:klttgcrl to ltis tnollter -
KIM. Yr:s, ar:tuall,v. \MANDA. Attd yott'tr: going to cltatrgc )'ollr rlill(l al the
 A FEMININE ENDINC A FEMININE ENDING 31

vcly last rnonlent, right, beforc l)adtly corncs back, ancl \r\lANDA. Wha( arc thesc'?
shovc cvr:rything irrt<l the closct And we'rc. all goirrg rrtM.'l'lxry lurk likc panties to rre.
lo have <linncr l,ofllorrow night as if'rrothing ever .\ MANDA. Wlxrsc Pantjes?
hapl;r:nctl. r(tM. I (:()tlldn't l(:ll you, darline. I could only makc au
KIM. It's dillcrcnt this tirnc. t'tlttcalctl gucss. I fbund thern in your father's coal-
AMANDA. It tnok rne a year to look Dadrly in ttre cyc again pot:kct.
af(er Nant.uckct. \t\,tANDA.Did you ask ltim what he's doing with thetn?
KIM. Ylu always were such a t'icliculrxrsly scnsitivc chilrl - rilNt. No, I dirJn't.
AMANDA- You tclld rrc he was a barl rlalt - .\N{ANDA. Why rrot?
KIM.You were ten. Was I supposecl to tell you your father t\tM. []e(:ause I don't. I)articularly want to krtow what' h<:'s
hadrr't lirckcd mc irr a veari tkring with them or to whotn they trelong' I just wattt
Ileat.
to k:avt: ltilu.
AMANDA h,ani:; the pu,ntics bach loKtn['
AMAND.{ Nol
KIM. Wcll, whal shcxrld I harc done? l,cft yorr thcre? If you waiting firt'?
\t\t,{,NDA. What are yrxr
hadu't. tltrnwn such a tefiipcftanlll,rrn wc rnighl havcj hlM. You thirtk I shoukl do it?
urark: that ferr'f,. ,\NIANDA, Ytltr tlon'1. trcerl rtly petrnission -
Ilca,l,. trtM. lltrt I clo ur:crl yout ktlv.
,.\MANDA. WITAT KCY?
AMANDA. I'll rnakc i[ t:asicl'fbr you t.his tirnr:. I'll get out of
yorlr way now rrlM. I nc(:d sontc Jllacc to slay,.just f<lr a ft:w moutlls' uutil
I linrl rl.iob.
AMANDA geh up a,n,d, grahs h,er coal.
\N{ANDA. N().
KIM.'I'his tinre I hara prr:o{. litM. &nan -
\t\lAND.d Nr:! Nr-rl No! No!
'I'his has gonc lar etrough' Yrxr
AMANDA.T'olr.s.
catt't tltovc itL
AMANDA. What kirrd of prooP
I(lM. It wortlcltr'{ tl<: for very long -
KIM. Flold on.Just irold orr,
,\MANDA. Yrru said a ltw months -
KhrI exlls i,n,to th,e k:itclrun, (t,'n,d, corn,es ba.ck uritlt, tt. sn,all l(tM. You lived iu rny housc for eightecn years' Alnatrcla'
t)achage oJ ri,nJbil. Shc h,a'n,d,s if lo AMANDA. 'l'iutc is relative.
AMANDA" Wrat is this? ,\MANDA. I'rII gell,tirtg lr]arried -
KIM. Open it and see. luM. I'vc <lonc thal. belclre - I can help'
AMANDA. Wlry is it cokl? ,\t\lANf)A. I dr:n't want Your helP.
xIM. lt was in the refrigcrator'. t(lM. l"irlc, thcn I wort'{ help. I rvon'l. evetr talk to you'
I'll
talk to fack.
AMANDA pu,l.l.s ou,t a pa,ir of hot pin,k, laces uom,eru's
panl,ies. \MANDA..Jack's n(:ver ltorne'
 JC
A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING

KIM. Is lrr: having an a{iair'? ,\MANDA. It's fitle'

to see y()tl 8et
AMANDA. No! He's - I don't know - he got mectinss and - r(lM. I iust wanl yoll to l)e happy' I don't-rvant
lrrrrr. I clort't warrl yt"t io cncl up here' in
tltis place'
photo shoor.s. 'l'hrry're so excitcd about his alburrr, they
pushed up the release date. Whictr is why rve had to rr[i<:r thirtY Years.
r.:hange thc wedding day. lta h'ea'tl' u'ttrL 'sn'iJJi' AMANDA utt'it's' 'i'm-
Ktld h,o,n'gs
KlM. You'r,e changed thc wedding day?
Itu,ssittc.
AMANDA, We sent out those change-the-rlate r:ards -
htNl.(:tltl'r yotl se(: lltal I'In rrpst't?
KIM. I rrt:ver got a card.
\MANDA. I'tlr waititrg'
AMANDA. A.r'e you sure?
rrr M. lior' what., l\r-ntageddon?
KIM. Yorr'll ouly be the first Mrs, I-Iandel. You do urrder-
.\l\lANDA. Ii'or lcal s'
stand that, don't vou? Famous people never stay rvitlr
Iooks into h'sr
their first wivcs. l,etJack mafl1, sometrr;dy c-:lsc rhis time: AMANDA atalks otter to hn' n'athct' u'nd'
arouncl. You can pick him up again in fira or six years. I')t1{'
Hey, where are you goirrg?
\N|^NDA..l.}rat's wlrat I tttclughl,. Goocl lrrck
packing. [[ytlu
there -
AMANDA is heading ou,t the d,oor. itclually rttake it to NewY<rrk' call me fi'ortr
AMANDA. It's trr:en a pleasure Mother, as usual. lrt N{. Alnauda! AMANDA!
skt'ttr's it behind'
KIM. Wail., yclu can'l k:avc - AMANDA wrtlh's o'ut t'he frott'L tl'aor a'rttl
'l'ltc irn'm'ediate!1 goes dark' A
AMANDA. Yes, I can - that's thc beauty of lteing financially Ittr. sccrle in, lh'e' h'-ou;e

indcpenclcrrt. liglil srtaut starls tlotw''

XIM. I clon't even krrow the clat.c of yoru'new wcrlcling. AMANDAlooksalt'h'enxtdie'nce'She''ssturtled'bylh'eir
AMANDA. Look on your changed-thedate card. |
) t csn t.(:e' An,tt a l'i ltte ernb o'rrassed'
T'he
KIM. I thl'ew il out.. I tllor4qht it was junk rnail. .\MANDA. Sorty, whorc wcre we? Right, my lirst opcra'
AMANDA" February l6th. , rrtt: ittspirecl by m-v Inottrer'

KIM. Oh honey, your father and I arc plilnning a trip ftrr' Wlttlttlsa,t-tlowrrtowrit,ethegloryrrfrrryrntlt,Irer,I
Febmary - < ottld not seeln to keep
her voice far ertough alvay
harmo-
lirrtrt miue. '['he notes ci]lne ollt t.oo closo to
Beal. If nry
rrizt:, thotrgh llol close enough to synchronize'
Rut now thzrt I'rn leaving him * I cAn conlc. r,oit'(t cafite itt ou A, I wnukl trcar hct'\oice' righI above
rtl(', oil A sharp, rkling my thread' Evt't)
tittte ttty voice
Beal. tttt: sarnc
r'lttlsc a IIcw dircctio", h"' voict: worrltl firllow
AMANDA. I'll tell tfic catcrer. ( ()lrrse bttt a half-stcp above or below - as if she was
I'nr sorry aborrt wha( I said. I cotnrurancled rnyscllt' Make
KIM. rt rn ed,'in,g tnr' Itl alrnonize'
r rthat I rlid' I cotrld not
AMANDA. Which part? tltt:nl harrnorrize' Buf no lllatte
KIM. About yorr bcingJar:k's lirst rvile. I dou't know that. I gt:l tttc two r'<-lices to l'istsn' h ent':lt' ol'ht'r'

don't know auything. I gavr: rrP 0n op€:ra after that'

 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING 35

AMANDA ue,lks o-uer I,o a ph,ce rLoutn,:;ta,ge uhcre h,cr tttt,t,\'. Sornt:r>nc [l-<;ru high scltool?
"t:ut'" i,s parked a.n.d. rti.ntes gettin,g in. \r\t,\Nl)^. N(), he's .., he's sort of farttous. He's abottt lo tx:
AMANDA. I'rn goinu hornc. If'you'n-: wondcting what l,rrr l;rrrtotui.
doiug.'I'his is my car. rrrl.t,Y. ls h<r a suir:ide lrombcr?
\NtANl)A. N()l
AMANDA mirn.es furrning tlte ca,r on,,
ftult.i,ng i,t in,t,o gea,r
and, ltur:hing orfi r{'the rhiuetmt. rnl.tt'. W)lrl(l he tcll you il he was?
\r\t,\Nt)A. I k:'s a sing5t:r; I-Ie's becn signed Ily a rnajor: I'ccold
BII,LY c,n,kn, behind lt,u; dtessed i:n his poslnt un,iftnvt,
l:rl rr:1.
distri.buting m.ail,.
rril.t,Y. Is hc vcry good-l<loking?
AMANDA m,iutes stopfting sh.or-t. 'l'he sotr;nd oJ' o, car \ l\r,,\N l)4. (Srt,rftri.sed) Yt:s.
shid,rlin,g.
rrtt t.Y- l'lrcn he'll go far.
BILLY, ju,rnlts oM of th,e ua,y. \l\t,\Nl)A. I kr's t.illcnt.crl too.
AMANDA, (l,o th,e u,u,di.en,ce) 'l'hat's thc posrrlarr. ( ft BILLv) rrrt tl'. Writcs his <lwn st:lrgs?
I'nr sony. fu'r: you okay? \r\r,\Nt)4. No. V<lcally, IIr: sings like an angr:I.
BILLY. Atnanda Illuc? rrl.l ,Y. I $<lrr't truy his albutrt.
AMANDA. Billy Th r:eblr:s? \r\r,\Nl)A. Ilt:'ll bc crushed.
BILLY THEEBLES .frwzes. rrrr r.t'. I rlorr'l rcspccl artists with nolhinu ujgirtal to say.

AMANDA" (to the audicn.re) Billy'Iheebles rvas nly lirst kiss. It ,l wn bizm're tteal.
Itappcur:cl r"ight herc, actuall),. 'lcn ycars ago. Orr this \Nr.\Nt)A. Okay. It was nice to see you agaitt. I have to get
verry patclr of land.
orr Ilrc rtiilrl.
AMANDA. S0 how'r,c you bcen? rrrt r,t'. IIar,t,'you l:r:crr signc-d with a major ret'old labcl?
B.ILLY urL/ieaes. \r\t,.\Nl)4. Not quite.

BILLY. Call't r:omlrlain. What aborrl. you? Visiting the folks? rul,t ,Y. l$ that harrl on yolrr relationship?

AMAND.{ My rrrour askecl rnc to c<rtnc rrp filr. thc weckcnd _ \r\t;\N!)A. W:rrld you rnind moving? I clotr't u/arlt l.() hit you.
BILLY. Yrlr're arotrnd all weekeld? rrrr.t)'. I'ru rl<lne with rny rnail route."Just finished.
AMANDA" No, I'rn heading horne ronighr. \r\r,\NI)A. It's two cl't:krck in the rnolnittg.
BILLY. Oh, well ,.. wtry? rrrr r,t'. I likc to slart in thc r:ve-'ning. It's coolel:
AMANDA" I've got a lot to do - \Nr,\NDA. Ihrt this is Noveurber.
rrrr l.t'. AlsO, in tlrt: cvcnings, therc are pcople in lhe win-
Reat.
rkrws. OI'thc houses. So that's cxciting.
I'rn gctting rnarried.
lltttl.
BIIIY. Wrri is thr: lucky guy? l)o I know hirn?
AMANDA.YoU rniglrt. I)4.'l'hat's voyelrrisrn.
\ r\r,,\ N

rrrt.t v. \{trw, you'vc rc;rlly becourc: a glass-hall:ernpty kirtd

 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING 31

o1'girl. rril,l .\'. lt n,as rri(:(: t() sco yOu 1,()0.

AMANDA /ar[ sta,rcs a,t ltitn. \l\rr\NI)A. I rcillly nct:rl t() be getting back to the city lt()w
rill.l,Y. N() yr)lr tl<lrt'1.
BILLY. Did you know this is thr-_ vr,:r1, last housc on nty
route ?
\r\t,\Nl)A. I r:an'l irnal5inc yorr'd ktrorv lhat,.
116y,

tril.lY. l)ot:sn't y()ur fianc6c travc a photo-shoot ol sotne-

AMANDA looks arcun,d.
tlriug? (krnrr: oui with rnr: touight.
AMANDA. It's in the nriddle of the srrcel. \Nr,\NI)A. With yorr?
BII-LY. Yes, brrt I start with ttrc house nexl rloor.. rlr rv. (lrrn(: on. A rright on dr() (omr. For okl tirnt:s sakc.
BILLY a.ndAMANnA kxth oa(.t.ol llle hou,se nexl doar: \ r\1,\Nl)A. What towrt?
Ittt.l ,l'. Wllirl t()wn, sh(: scolls. Sec, Arrtancla llhre , this is wltitt
aMANDA. Why?
pt'o1lk: like you <lort't undelstancl *
pcopk: who rtrovc
BILLY. That's jllsl whar I rlo. Also I livc thr:re. .nvuy ali<:r' triglt schtxrl. Thcy don't utrderstand iltat
AMANDA. Sincr: whcn] rlrc|r: aIc ?rdults living in l.his town as well as ttrtdcr-
BILLY. Sirrcr. I borrglrr ir. ;rgt:tl Ic:crra€crs, an(l that thcsc said adrrlts have placr:s
AMANDA. You ltought the h<;usc lloxt dool. to rny parcnts? rvlrcrc llrcy go to tlrink -
BILLY. Is this your pareltts, housei I hacl no iclea. \r\r/\NI)A. I'rn Ilat.tcrcd Billy, r'cally, hut -
AMANDA. You.iust zrskcrl rne: if I was hnrnc visitirru nry rilr.r,l'. (l()rne ()n, and to[rorro\{ y()u can go }lar:k t() y()ur
parcnl.s, soli-rrrr:k, casy-listcning liarrc6e arr<l gt"t rnarlied witlt
BILLY. ()ka,, lirrr,:, I tra<l a hunch. no l1:l{rcts * atlsolut.ely cortaiu that you ditl rtot leave
AMANDA.Ililly? Were you always this str.:rnge?
llrt'lovt: ol"your lifc, fi'er:zirrg his cr:jont:s ofl'in your
BIIIY. I was. Vru r.rscd lcl be strang(j too. l)iu'clrts' dr ivr:'rvay in soure slecpy lit.tle touu srlnrervltt:re
lrlrl(way to nowhor(). Ilrxr,'s that for se<:urity?
AMANDA.IIardly.
r\MANDA loa,i)us. B.ILLY la&ns in. attd kisses h,er. She
BILLY. In high sr:hocll, whcnev{:r onr:
of thc populilr txrys tti,trs lm' hand, lo sl,ap him. I'Ie ca.tch,es 'it.
would ask you out, you,d look thcrtr su.aiihiin thc eye
and say '-Sirrg;\". ril r,r,Y, (;o illreacl.
AMANDA- I ncver di<l thar _
ltlr,Lv rckuscs htr lru,n,d. AMANDA sl.ilps hi'nr," hnnl.
BILLY.'Ihc <tnly reasol) you agrecd to go ol.lt with rne is
rrrl r.r'..f inriny (lrickr:t.l
bccarrse I rolcl yr_ru I harl perfcct pitJr.
AMANDA- Dr: yorr haver per.fect pitch?
\r\r.\Nl)/L ,\ft' yt)lr okay?
BILLY. (ruith a vni,rk) yes I do.
rill lY. Not l'oall)/.
\NTANI)A. (}oo<l.
AMANDA. Sing A.

BILLY .ring.r sorn,ething tlrut i.s dc,/irtiteh rtot A art,d, rnight

AMANDA l,eo'ues B.ILLY d,ounsta,gc an,d utu,lh.s ltack,
trltslugc u,tt.d 'in.lo her ltouse. Th,e ligllt,s t:tnne u,tt. KIM
nol euert, be considered u, tlote. /dr'.A}lDA .vn.i,le,s.
it t nr(ir,ll;1 rntn'a,pNti.rr.g lhe i,ncrirn|nu.lirt,g ulttlcrutea,r itt
AMANDA" I( was nicc- to sco you. tittliil.
A|\{ANDA d,rops hcr bags.
 .;ri&{-_

38 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDINC

AMANDA. I'rn stiryinu.

MOVEMENT FOUR: TRUE LOVE
Rclbrct<w r:a,n, ruspoud,, AMANDA ltu.n,s ort, her h.cels
an.rl rua,lks ou,l.. -lllc tighl,s go ojl-i,rt tlnr B|I.LX il,'ild, AMANDA, cn,lrr, hatrin,g,'jrt.sl, r:lhnbed up n
h,aust:.
sltr'lt sltlxt lh,ul hin,g's l,h,em,'i'tr.kt u rui,tt.l,r! ox.:h,ail,.
AMANDA tetuln.s l, BILIy, shhtet,i:rtg ottls,kle.
AMANDA. I-kxv \Nr,\Nt)A. I rlrr:itrn oltthis orcharcl. Stil[.
arr yorrr cojorrcs?
BILLY. Shnrrrkerr. rrrt t,)'. l'rrr not strrprist:<I. It's harrntine. !,s1lt:cially irr lltc:
rvirr(cr. l)id I cvcl llling you hr:r'e in l.hc wintr:r?
BILLy hwrd,s (Jst,ctge. AMANDA starts to.filkntt
hhn., tlten \|\r \Nl)4, I rklrr'l thirrk so. I'r,r: ltcr,(:r'secrr it s<t trakc:tl.
tu,rns back. to lh,e aud,ient:c.
rrtt t r'. \i'ah, I only <:aurr: bv rrrysr:l{'irr lhr: rvirrtr:r. It rvas rny
*A|on: I'rrr at:tirrs as if I,ct lcrrgotrc:rr all al;o,t llillv ,ut rpcciul ltlacc. I worrld colue hc-rc wlrt:n rny I)irrl *,as in
I'r, lyi,g. I rhi,k alx,rr hiri a l,(. N4.r.c tr,o" r,,i rir.., .r prrrlicularlv batl rrroorl,
too. \4/e rverc togr:ther alrnost (:()llstatllly rryherr \(r \Nl)^. (lo,sl, in, h.tr orun. retrffii) Whcn I tvas fout tccn I
wc w<:r.c
yolr,g. Il to.k hir, yr:ars l, w.r.k ,p
thc'c,rr.agc t. kiss u:rrrtt'tl t() firarry/ vou hcrc. In Lhc ort:har<I. I rvatrterl a
nrc. Ik: userl lo slrou,up at nry htiusr: in thei:vcni,rgs lrig par ll, rvitlr cvct'yonc wt,: knr:lv in tuxt:tlos arrrl lrlrrg
and ask rue il'I wlrrtcd fo go for a walk arrcl ,,clt,ar lcrrtlrt'n:rl E{owns. ^,\nd rvc'<1 have arr apJllc cakr:. Antl
riiy
hr:acl." Wc'd go u,arr<1erirrg arrrrncl Ihe r():rsl witll apple ltrandy. Ancl wrltz the wlrtilc uight
nt:irlhl)o,ir.;;i;
arrrl wr:'rl slol) ulrd(:r cvory sttccl lanrp ,r\yrr)/ tllr'ouli-h thc applc trr:es.
arrd hc,cl look
at lne, urorrrnfully. Irinallr,, ia{icl.orrl cig-hty.thild
strrll, trtt t.t. l)o you rt'rttr,:lnl)t:r'rvlta.l yotr trsctl Io say to tn(: trhcll
I said "llilly arc you g<_rirrg to kiss ruc rrl rrot?,, An<I lrt: rr, siritl gotlthright?
said "I u,as fllil)king aborrt it. Ancl t.lrrrn
hc clicl.,, \\t \\l)4. I'rrt Il(}l. slll'(.-
Bett.l.
trtt t.t. \irrr woukl siry "l)r'ealu aboll{ rne.",\rtd I'norrlrl si.ry
My pa*:,rs lil<cd Ililly. -I,hc\, <:allccl lrinr ,,,l.he "I irlrvays rkl"
Srrir.r.,,.
I'hcy call .fack '.T'hc plague,,, Itcr:Atrsc wlrcn I \\r \Nl)4. lrenrcmbt'i,ng, uti.l,hBILLY.) "l alrvays ctr."
Iirst
stallcd rlat.i,u hi.r, I caurr: [r<u,. rvil.lr a vcrrr:r.cal
inl.cr:_
tirlrr' Brrr it rvasn't rris farrlt. Ht: rlirlrr't k,.rv,c traa
\MANDA ond,BILLY sntilt tt te(h. otlr,er Wil.l l,hcy kiss?
it.. $llI,X lut,ns in,.
furrl l_rr:sirlcs, it was the r:rrralllt: kintl.
\rr \Nl)4. \\'ltat's batl?
AMANDA hruils offsktge alt.crBrLLy.
rru t t. Sot ly?
\\t \Nl),\. !iltr siri<l you woukl only t:ortrc hert: lv]rr:lt yorrr.
l).rrl was irr a lnrtir:rrlarly -
rru r l'. ( )lr, I tl<ln't krrow. llarl. Dnrrrk. Brclakin{r things. I'lit.
rllltl tllv ltIoIII.
\ilr.\Nr)A. (anurued) I nr:vt:r'krrcw tha.l..

rrrt.ty s/rrrrgr.
rrrt t t. ll \\,as a scct(:t.
\r\r \NI)4. 'l'his was happcnirrg itr high school? Wlrilc wt:
 A TEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING 41

were dating? ntux It's a greatjob. I get to ride around all day and
BIJJ,Y nod^s.
tlcliver people happy thoughts and presents and good
wishes.
AII{ANDA" Why didn't you tell me? AMANDA"And bills.
BILLY. Why would I tell you?
ntl.lJ. I'm very careful not to put the bills on top. I find
AMANDA,I could have helped. thc one personal letter and I make sure that's the first
BILLY- Maybe you could have. But all I really wanted thing my client sees.
back
then, was to sleep with you, and I thought if you knew AMANDA" What if they don't have any personal letters?
my life wasnnt perfect, you wouldn't let me, so _
ltttJX'Ihen I wait a few dap, until they do. And if nothing
AMAI{DA" <hindly) I wouldn,t have let you anyhow. comes, I write my own.
BILLY. I know that now. But at fourteen _ the possibilities
AMAi.{DA" You write people mail?
were endless.
Dltr,Y. Sure,Just a little card. Something that says "I'm still
Pause, AMANDA s\ares d,tB}0'LY, thinking about you. I haven't forgotten. Your friend."
AMANDI" Where is he now? AMANDA. Your friend who?

BILLY. My Dad? $u,l.Y.'fhat's it. Just "your ftiend."

At home with my mom.
AMAI{DA- And nobody goes to the post office and asks
AMANIIA. Does he still - where the fuck their letter came from?
BILLY. No, he takes thorazine now" ffe's a very different
person. Almost sweet. ntt.LY. Ha$n't happened so far.

AI{ANDA" What's thorazine? AMANDA. This place is so weird.

BILLY. It'$ an anti-psychotic. Itll,r.Y. Hr:w's life on the outside?

AMANDA" Is he - AMANDA" It's very exciting.

BILLY. He might be. It,s hereditary. Comes out in the Late Ittl.LY. You must have an impressive career by now.

teens or early twenties. I think I'm over ttre hump but AMANDA- I'm not sure how impressive you'd find it, but I
if I start acting strangely, just throw something at my like it.
head. $tt,LY. Are you kidding? To make your liviug as an artist
- doing what you love? Bringing new music into the
world? I'd say that was pretty impressive.
BILLY.IT's okay. I'm kidding. AM r.lDA" And I'd agree, but that's not n'hat I do for a living.
AltfANDA" (dnlibtrately changtng tht subject) How,$ the postal I'm in advertising.
service? nu.LY. Oh, I - I always assumed you'd stay with music -
BILLY. Wonderful. AMAI{DA" I did, I'm in musical advertising.
AI4ANDA laughs. BrLLy just stares at li,ac Ail,IANDA sn.LY. oh.
sws. AMANDA- Like jingles, f<rr commercials and stuff, I write
them.
AMAND{Was that ajoke?
urrY. oh.
 42 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING 43

AMANDA. Yrrr krrou,, likc thost: Iiillc sclugs rhar yorr think of \r\r \Nl),,l.. I kry llilly? I{ you brought lllc lll) ht:rc to cataltlg
whcrr you think <ll'r:cr.t.ain ltrorhrcts. ruv rlt't:alns dt:lbnctl, <lort't llothet' I ktlttw wttat thcy
BILLY. \4krw, sornr: o1'lhos<: songs ar.e rtally ...arrnoying, .rr t'. l'rl tht: ort<:: tltat lttt tlrcttt 14<'r -
Ben,l,. llr'ttl. RILLY lottks rtt AI,tr{NDA .tadry.

AMANDA Wt:ll, s<trrretinrcs that's thc poirrl. \r\r \Nl)4. I ru(}arr - I)ttt th(lln on ltclltl.
BILLY. Yr:a.hi rrrtt.r'. Wlty?
AMANDA So they gfrt stuck irr yoru-lreacl. ,\MANDA doesn,'t sn:y o'nlthirtg'fur a, nonten,t. Slo'rtts ottl
BILLY, Snt:aky. So what happenerd? ,,,,u llt,c .ftDzctt altpl,e.s.
AMANDA. What lrappencd?
\r\r \Nl)A. ll<'r:aust: t clichr't \\rarlt [() bt: a ]rit<:lt, I]illy. Nrlhody
BILLY. V,r lefi towrr rvlt<:tr we were rvhat, likr: sc.vc'tr:cn, to ,r'r's a girl lrlottc rvitlt An obtltl autl tltinks sht'nrttsl be
go to rnrrsi<: school. ril/e all thorrght y()ll wcl(: goirrg ro lrrilliant.'I'ht:y ttriuk shc rrtrtst bt lvcirtl rlr trrala<ljusttld
be somehrxly grcat. to likt': nte. Vrtt gct all
')r slll(:k-lll). I watttt:tl peollle
AMANDA. It's trclt that casy. tlrcst: pt:rks wltr:n you'rr: a girl anrJ peroplc like you. \t-ru
BILLY. lhtl yol] werc sper:ial. ( irrr olx)ll tlor;r's with a stnilc' llvcutuallv I reirlizcr"l that

AMANDA. 'l-hcre 's a lot of special p<:oplc in the worlrl, Ililly. rlrosc (l<lrlrs dott't olltln velv I'at' irt all, arxl llcsidcs t.trat,
Sornt: of'thr:nt arc nrrrch nxrre s1x:r:ial flran rnr:. rlrt'y'rc (ltt: rvr<tttg <l<xrrs irnd llt:sitles that, I dkln't cv(lll
BILLY, Ylr ruct s()rnc pco;rk: that rlcrc.: l)r:ttcr tlran you. li.rrow lvltitt tlorlrs I shotrld ll<l lookittu ftx'' becartse I u'as
too Itttsv rvatt{rirtg lltc }roys wltt:u thtly garrt: {ltat lcctttrc
AMANDA. Ycah, qrritc a lclr,.
rrr clitss. Ilt:t:attse thnvseuru:d, lo lte a l,ime r:r"unch,. r.\rld it
BILLY. So you stoltp(l? lirnitt:tl supply, Attcl cvc-t)cltre elsc wa$ g(:ttills ()lIe -
AMANDA" Not ex?lctl),. I trxrk a sor.l ol brcak * Wtriu?? ilil l\'. Nol)(xly g()l rll(:.
BtLLy ,,r sltzkirtg-ltis lrcod and hrtghin.g ,utfl,lt. \r\r,\NDA. So I slrirtc(l to think I'd hcttcr.gct ()Ilc ltltl. Atttl

BILLY. Norhirrg, I.iusr - I thi,k

I rlirl.;\ grcat otx). A rcal catctt. Brrt il lvasn't east $t)t:
I shorrl<l have r'ir:cl a littlt:
tirrg ltirrr. Ilct:atrsc a lot o{'ptloplr: rvanlr:tl him. Arrd it
harrlr:r'to sk:r:p with yorr.
rvort't lt(: t:asy kr:t:ping lrirn, n() nl?lttct'horv nntclt ltc
AMANDA. WTIAI'??
lovcs tuc...
BILLY. vlrrr'<:.nvicti,rrs sccrrre<l s() srf(),g at flrc tirnr:. II'I I lx'gan thilrkirtg, rc('efitlv ... I ltavtl a {bw yt:ars ttow.
harl krrrirvrr y()ll \4,('rc so [rrll ol'slrit.
Itclirrt:.Jack's (:Ar(f()r tltkes r-rlf ... be{irrt: childrcrt ... of'
AMANDA.YTUT'irle alorurcl in a p,s{al (n*:k. y., li'e ,'the rclillirrc sr:t:ttrity. I t:oultl really gct soilrctlling <lonc.
sArlt(: stl'(_'el as trty p, r.eltls. y,rr ]ravr,: rrcv<rr. lc{t lhc lorvn Illlt wllct) I loclk arotrttd lbr t}c doors I'vt: llt:etl ntciltl-
y()u wer'(: brlnr irr. ilrg l() oJ)cll..,
BILLY. I rvclll. tr-l r:olk_.gt:. l'lrt:r'c rtsctl to be doors cvctyrvltl'rc. Ihrt * it's like, I'vt:
AMANDA. Vlr dirlrr't linish. li)r'!l()tlclt \.vllat a r'l<xrr lt;oks like'
BIII.Y. It wasrr'l firr rner. Iirt you all ( lrtll l'ttt nrll tttakitlg ally sells(l alrl I?
- 1,orr cvcr talkr:rl atlout
was nrusic sr:lrool. Bcing a cornl)()scl. .I.r-aveling tlrr_. ntt l,Y. I r:att sltow yrxr a door if you'cl likc.
worlcl - \rrtr\NI)A. (larr I lt:ll vort s()lncthins totally ittsattt:?
 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININB ENDING 45

Sometimes, I have this feeling that English isn't my lhrt my professor had a good point. She said that there
first langrrage. Like, I have these thoughts in rny head was order in the writing, but it wasn't the order we
and I don't have the words to put to them. Or I clon't cxpccted. It wasn't the system we had learned. The
know what order to put the words in. And I just know, writer was tapping a consciousness that did not have
if I tried to say them aloud, they would sound, crazy. ;r langrage. Which is why, all of this has treen a very
BILLY. Ah, now that makes sense. kng way of crediting your feelings about speaking in a
AMANDA" Very funny. lirrcign tongue. You might be right' C)ur language, the
BILLY.I was a double-m4jor in college before lrutguage we speak, might not be your first language.
I quit. Lin- As a wotnan.
guistics and women's studies.
AMANDA, Don't. make fun of me please. I'tt,use.

BILLY. And I studied languzge. How it's constructed. It turns Stl,lx.I'm done.
out, most languages, rnost western languages, operate Are you sure?
AMANDA.
on a system of binary oppositions. Everything has an
lttl,lY. I'tn sure. I just told you everything I ever learned in
opposite. So you've got black and white, good and evil,
lollege. I'm done.
rich and poor ... man and woman. And, because our
language shapes our consciousness, the way we instinc- AMANDA fis, stares at hi'm.
tually undersrand something is by its relarionship to
lttt,t.Y. Bullshit, right? I thought so too, at first, but I'm
its opposite. But the fucked up thing is, rhose binaries
tr:lling you, it makes sense if You -
are calibrated. Meaning, one side is the standard and
its opposite is laching the standard. So black is lacking AMANDA ILiSSTS BITIY.
white. Poor is lacking rich. Woman is lacking man.
AMANDA" Oh my god.
This makes sense because our western languages are
derivations of Latin and Rome was an epicenter of trtLLY doesn't answen Wai,ts.
rich, white men. But ir leaves women and non-white AMANDA" I.iust kissed you.
people sort of out in ttre cold.
Btt,LY nods. wa,its,
I learned in my women's studies courses that Virginia
Woolf had a theory about a female sentence versus a AMANDA. I'm getting married.
male sentence. A male sentence is aggressive. Linear. It
$uLY n,ods again. Waits.
has an objective and, when it communicates that objec-
tive, the sentence is over. A female sentence is more IMANDA. To someone else!
circuitous. The point is not necessarily to achieve, but DIT,LY AZSSASAMANDA.
rather to explore. To convey feeling. Mental state.
Consciousness. Images. Like Woolf's novels. The prob- AMANDA.I have to go.
lem is - you can't read too many female sentences in AMANDA StANdS.
a row or you feel like you're going insane. There's no
order there. Nothing trappens. They keep looping AMANDA. Wlry didn't you tell me you were so smart? [n
over and under themselves, forward and backwards. I lrigtr school?
hated reading Woolf. I thought ir was a waste of rime. Ht,lJ. I wasn't this smart in high school.
 FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING

AMANDA. Vrrr r:orrlcl hav<: rcally ru?r(lr: s()rncthirrg of rrrt t t. \i's.

yourscll.. \\l \Nl)4. N(x{?
BILLY Aud the:u what? Ycrrr'd be rnarrvirrg rnr: inst.r:ad of rrrt t \'. Stttt'.
Ilorr.fovi? If'orrly you krrcrv I trad a ]train irr rrry lrt:ad \\r \Nl)4. I I(:l'(:?
back irr high school. (livc rnr: a llrcak. liittt'.
rrtt t \'.
AMANDA. (.fitriott.s at hcrself) Y<ru'rc light.. I'vc 14ot tro brrsi-
lll l,t,Y lrlr.i/.t AMANDA.
rrcss l-rr:irtg hcrr:. I havc sornc rvtrirl casrr o{'cold I'eet
alI(1 il's urakiug rne rlehrsiorral. I'r,t: got. a fianr:(:r: bir<:k \\r \Nl)A.'liittrot rorv, t.his ttrcirtts rtothing'
irr Ncw Y<rrk nho is vel1 goorl-lookirtq anrt ahout (o llt: rrrr t.\'. .\gt t:t,:tl.
cruban'assirtuly srrcccssfirl arrtl all I hincr to dci is gt:t irt Aisrlrrg bet:orn'tts nutre
Itl Lt.Y /ii,l,$(i,i AMANDA ugtti n
tlre car alrl rlrivc ba<:k to t,hc r:it1, and rvlrcn I rvake: up "l'lm
iott,tt kt.
t()ul()lr()w tltis u,ill all ltc onc <ll'tltost: stul)i(l orctrard ltt t .r.s

tlrcarns I'vt-: ltacl il million tirncs. Notlting filc)re. \\l \Nl)A. Ililh?
BILLY. Okay It was rrir'c to soe you agairr. rrrr t t'. ilrtttrt?
lirr
AMANDA. Okay. So krng. \\l \Nl)4. Wht:rt I slaplllt:d yotr tratlicr' - I rntlatt( that.
\( )rlt('()ll(l tllstl' Maytlt: r:vt:rn{ltlrl clst:'
AMANDA tunt.s a'n,rl. .;La.'rts to uta,lh. armt. She slops. Slre
,sta,rts agu,irr, She slolts a,grtin. She. htrns a,rorutd. rrrr t.t'. I kttow.
\\l \Nl)A. I klw tlitl You know?
AMANDA. \tru're not roing to evcn trl and sl()l) rI)('?
rur r \'. I kttolv Yott,
BIIIY. Nopc.
AMANDA.'I'his is it, llilly,. Yclrr st:corttl <:ltartcr:. Yout only l'lrr\ t:on,l,irttrc ki''s'sing' l'igltt's tlotrrn''l'h'c orclr'o'rtl
secon(l charrcc. Most peoplc ncv(rr cven gct this, tlisrtPlnars,

BILLY. I know whirt this is.

AMANDA. Wcll you're lirckirrg it up royallr.,.
BILLY. I know wltal I'rrr doitrg.
AMANDA. Fin(].
nnrv. Alright.
TIMANDA. Scc you NITVRR A(;AIN.
BILLY. Cood-tryc.

AMANDA hr,rns an.tl walks off-stage.

Ileut.

llca,l.

AMANDA tomes batk on, stugc. Slrc ata,lks righl up t,o

BILLY. Sltlts i.n, J:ronl, rt hin,.

AMANDA. Worrkl you like lo have sex wilh rne?

 {8 A FEMININE ENDING
A FEMININE ENDING

MOVEMENT FIVE: INDEPENDENCE tinre y<xr w('lrt "al)pl(:picking".

t,ight,s ult. KIM ,,r si/iitlg orL a AMANDA. Wr: wr:n' itll plt:-pickiug.
ltil,e ttf. .srt,il,r:nse.s. Slt,c,s ott,
fthonr. Axtul.d, her; DAytD rtrr,rl"rltLLy bring ort. t,h.e
tlt.e l(IM. You rnight lir,r thc only pcrsorl rvlro got lairl lirst rright
Nnu ll u n tps lt itt r t rtrl m,enl.. in this enlir'(' t()u,lr. Yrm shorrltl lrt'r:ongratr,rlated, Wcll,
fi
rcally llill,v slrorrkl trc congralrrlalcrl.
KIM. No, I dirlrr,t ask rny shrink ... Ilcr.arrsr: lrt.scts
sorrre .\MANDA.'Icll utt: yorr clitln't lbllou, uit:.
<txorbitartt srrrrt o{ tlloltcy to titlk
t() tnc cvcr},u,(,t,k so KIM. I di(ht'l filllorv yorr.
t.,t l)a'icl (1,.s',( har.e t,. II.,s rrrt t. -I'hcrr lrorv tlirl vou knorv I spent thc rriglrt rvith
14<>itrg arlvist:
rrrr: t. Iclllow rrry rlrr:;rnts * ... yr:s, ,,\MANDA.
I lrar,. rlr.carrrs Oar,l
... I can,t r,crrrcllrl)er. what llrcy al.c llilly?
allytnorc, tlrat,s rvlry
I lrarr. to lr.Avc l(IM. Instcitd I rrlilizccl rrr1, hiuhlv rarilicrl svstrlnt of
sis r.r; r srr,, tr,, i
rrr ir:f
l,:;iTli:l[i.l i:Xi] lH I lll specializcrl spv tr:chlologi I likc to call it -
cltarrgt, I lrc lrroI I r<,r li rcking *lrr.t.ts.
KIM g'(x/,r tnter I,o tlt,e ui'ndotu o.rtrl drarus bo.ck lltc
AMANDA I//IkIJ,. t:'tn'l,u.i.rt,.

KIM..Oar,1, rrry waywarrl tlatrghtcr..irrsl. (.?i1,. ruM. ()pcratiorr crrrlilins. So lrow was [r<:?
,.rrr.. \,.rr r,ay
lrt: offthc lrrxrk. I,ll <.alltr,iu latcr
... \,<rrr r:an,l say that, AMAND.d MorD -
I'rrr your. sislr:r. KIM. IJcttcr tharr high school?
KtM lt.angs up llrc phtne. ,\MANDA-I dirhr't sk:<:p rrith lrirn irr high st:hool.
KIM. (10AMANDA) Wlr<:rr: tlrr: h<rll l{M, Why nol?
lravr: l,orr lxtcrri
AMANDA. Ar.e: wc still par:kirrg
ot.!u.(,w<, rk,nt,?
AMANDA. I wasu't srrpposr:cl to -
KIM. I'vt: br:ctr 1,y1r,,'1,,t1 sit.k. ()lr KIM.Vlr rrr:r,t:r'rlirl alrf llilrg y()u wor"clr't supposcrl to. '['hc
rnr, (ir>tl _
AMANDA. Br,carrst,. nhole rcAs()lr I ha<l a kid rvas lo atld a littlc r:xr"itt'rtx:tlt
il r,rr..rr, rlorrt._
into rny lili:. Ihrt iustead I got vorr. lt u,as likt' r'aising
KIM. I know tlurt [a<:<:.
rtry nt<ltlrt'r.
AMANDA. I hav<' lo gcl ba<:k _ AMANDA. (t:old,l:l) I'rtt sorrv tltat lik' Irasn'l tru.nc<l ()ll( tllc
KIM. Y<tu just gor lairl. way rru wailt(:(l it tO l\,lorn.
l)eat. t<tM, (equill1 rulrl) Suvc v()ur syrnputlry. Wait yolu' lllrrr.
AMANDA" I'rl likr: to lx:iil tlte tralfir:. AMANDA. Wltcrr is I)arl r:<irnirra Irrinrr:?
KIM. That's yrur I-jtrsr_gor-lairl KIM, A coultlc ol lrorrrs.
{a<:<t.
AMANDA. ,urtl vou lrav<t il r..:rnarkabl<r AMANDA, I)o vorr warrt rlre to lrr:[p vorr rrrtpitck nrlu,?
arn()lllt ol urrJrar:kirru
lo rkr bcf<tn: I)a.rklv gcts h<lrnc. KIM. I'M I,II/\VIN( ; I IIM I
KlM.'I'hat's tlrt. Iacr.: yr rr trsr:d to rnakc AMANDA. WI I\?
irr high school.
AMANDA. I n<:vcr sor lairl in higlr KtM. I Ic's havirrg arr a.{[air.
sclrool X4orrr.
KIM. I kneu, rvltat urrr arrd Bill,l,'flrcclrlcs AMANDA.YITT rlon'l krr<xt that -
\\,ol.o lrp to cr,cr\,
tilM. I fbuntl rrnrl<rrwr:ar in his.ja<'kct por:ket.
 A FEMININE ENDING
A FEMININE ENDING 5l
AMANDA. Mayhr: sornetrody
slippr:cl it. irrro his po(:kel AMANDA l,rutt s a routr.rl.
.io
w>rk. As a pr.actical.joke. ?rr
gel hilrr irr trorrllle wit.h
his wili_-. you should ar leasl u*k hirrr. .\I\,TANDA. WIIAI?
KlM. I'll t:all'irrr fi,m l(lM,'I'hcrc thal's lwo goocl rcas()lls. I
1,61s1p lllac. irr Nt:wVr.k arrd ask - g<tt lo r.lrivt:,
hinr. ,\MANDA. Mrrlrr _
AMANDA' yirlr',vc rr.e, ma'riercl thiny yr:ars. you cllver I

a. KIM. Malriagt: is a cclnlrar:t Arnarrr.la, rx)t a sacrcd rrnion.

cxplanal.ion. Out of res1rcr:t fbr: *
'inr And tltc rcas()rr I signcd it arrrl thc rcasorr you'r't: going
KIM. l'or u,hat? l'irnc? t.o riign il is bcr,:arrst: wltcrr ),orr'r'e a young wontarr it
AMANDA. lior hirn. scems likt; a grlod idr,.a. Br:causc thc worl(l sccrns hrrgc
IfiM. Olr him. (Mini_brat). No. Lct,s atrd I'orr:igrr and lirll of rapists and rroborly takes yolr
go.
AMANDA. Oo? sori<.rrrsly 'I'he lroultle is, after yolr're rnarrit:11, rrot orrly
d<l thcy not takt: you scriousl,v - thery'rc not c\tll cu?i-
KIM. You'rc takirrg. ru<: to Ncw york.
o'u,r auyrrtt;lc. Iirl. nt;brldy tclls you tlat.
AMANDA. No, Morn, I'rn rrot. ()nc ol.rrs has
rr:sp.,sibla clne i, tlris r:ir<:rrr,stal).c
to bc thr: r\MANDA. l)coplc lakc nrr: scriolrsly. I'rrr goorl at whi ( [ rkr.
tt.(l as rrs,al, it l(lM. I tol(l you that yorr coulcl hzrve cvcrything. 'I'hat you
Iooks Iike ir has to be mc: _
KIM. I{esponsibk: Ior. whol
nevt:r trad to ('omprotnisc. My geilora.tiorr rnadr: all
lhe cornlrrorniscs lbr you. I [i:el ba<l abr>ut that. 'I'[rat
AMANDA. l,irr Darl. Arrrl lirr- yrirr. Iirtr thc san.titv wasn't sourt:thirrg I krtart, [)et sc..fust sorrrcl]ring I rvas
trnion. 'l.v.rr. Iropirrg w<-lrrltl conlo lrlre.
KIM. Ii'or thr:_sarrctitt,'f.'rtr._ (iorl, t,c [,ings
nry that. so.rr<l ,\MANDA. l)orr'f w()rry alxlrt nrc. I'll fiurulr it out.
tlllt: rvl rr,r I r.or r' r.<. rvt,r t t v_livr,.
r'<'asor r:
I
KlM. Not il'yorr nrau'y.|ack IIarrdcl.
AMANDA. Givc nre orrr: go<tcl
l.eason why yorr shorrlrl lcavr: ,\MANDA. Do yorr krrrnv holv rrrany girls oul tlrr:rr:r u,rttrlcl kill
nry failrcr..
to urarrv.|a<'k I-lanrlcl?
KrM. And thr::n yrxr'll clt.ivc rnc lo Nr:rv yrrr.k? KIM. So lt:l onc <tl thcrn. N()t y()u. Yorr go livt: a lilc.
AMANDA. Finc.
,\MANDA.'I'hcrc' arc hallllilv nralrir:d \\orrr(:ll in thr: world
llcnl. MontlJtrst bt:r:arrsc yorr corrlthr't ruakc it work -
KIM. I'rn tirc<l ol'cookirre. KIM. I anl a happily ntil'rietl wornanl I'ln tclling yorr - il's
a farc<:" Vxr kirls will lcavc y()u - yoru hrrsl-rarrd will
AMANDA" I'nr lcaviug. Y(lu'r.r,: staying.
k:avc yorr - it,'s natrrral - cvr:rylxxly r.lics alone. Ilut
AMANDA pi.chs up h,er bags artd y()u - yoll hayr: thc opp()rt.unity to lcilve s()r)othilig
,sta,rl,.t oul th.e d,oor.
KIM. You saicl iI, [ trulv tlxtraorrlirrary trehinrl. Vlu'r'(: throlr,ing it al[ :rwiry
14avc y6g c>rrc _
beltrrc yoll'v() cvr:n trit.,rl.
AMANDA.'['hat is rrot a g<rcd l.cAsol).
AMANDA. It's rrot lhat casy I c:ould try to tlo this ntv wholc
KIM.I LhiNK iI iS.
lil'e rlnrl r)(rvor g(rt an1,l,vht:re at it. And iI-I r,valk awa.y
AMANDA.'lhkc thc tr.ilirr.
fr<lnt.f a<'k, I will walk arvay Iir.rrn arr r:xtl'aorclirrary lilt:.
KIM. I'rn not dt:arl yct.
KIM. Nol..lack rvill have an cxtraortlinary life. ,\rrl ltcr:arrst:
o1'tltat, hc's goirrg to bc clilIicult arrrl clcmirndirrg, his
 A tr'EMININE DNDlNG A trEMININE ENDING

head will swell, he,ll fuck around, and you,ll

stay home, XI}I.It's a good offer. You should take it.
raise his kids and worry about contracting
herpes from
your husband. AMANDA stares at h.er rntlwr,

Baaf. AMANDA stares a,tKIM. She notices a painting arnang the stuff that hm mothrr
packed.
AtrtANDA" When did you become such a bitch?
ICM.I don't know. Itjust happened. I woke up one AT,IANDA" Why are you taking that painting? Is it wort}
morn_ something?
ing and discovered Ulact hairs growing above my
lip.
I ttrought, 'well, rhere goJs your-smite, oto git. IflM. No,Ijust like it.
}nd
You can either give up now or learn to fight lilie
a
AMAr'{DA" It looks vaguely famous.
dog." It's not so bad actually. I never did get l"yrfri"gi I{IM. It's worthless. Just sentimental.
really wanted wirh a smile. AII{ANDA" Have you ever had it appraised?
AMANDA" That'sjust menopause, [t,s totally
normal. I{ne No.
Bmt. It's wondmful.I,m producing testosterone
for the first AMAI{DA" Where did you ger ir?
time in my life. My head is si clear. I want ro do
some- rmA I painted it.
with myself. I want ro hunt for something and
$i1q
find it and break it. I want to build somethingiuge AMANDA"What?
and complex and ugly. I want m win an argument. ICM.I painted ir.
Before I die. Using logic! I want to scream at
someone Beat.
and make them cry andfwl goodabout it.
AMATDA' (getting mad) This is really shitty
You doR't have to believe me. ['d understand.
timing Kim. I
think you know that. I thinkyou planned it thls AMAIIDA lnohs more clnsely at tlu painting.
way.
l$It, (wen madd,er) We cannor both be housewives. If you AMAIIDA" Is that you?
marryJack, I have to leave your father. One of
us needs IgM.Yes.
to live an exrraordinary life.
AMAIIDA" How old were you?
&aL AMANDA tums away. rCU.Young. Your age.
ICM.Are you crying? AMANDA. I thought you worked ar an utrt gallery when you
AMANDA" No. were my age.

rut Ktr{.I did.

looks cl,oseb attfiUtNDA.
AIIAND.{You mean you sold,you,rworkat an art gallery?
$IM.Yes, you are. I don,tfeel good about ttrat.
Damn. What rilM. Righr.
is the matkr with me? Shit.
AIIANDA.YoU never told me that.
A cornessdon, ICM.You never asked.
If il-*l] make you feel better, I won,r leave your father AMA$[DA" Why the hell did you give it up? This is really
until after you marryJack. good.
AIUANDA" That doesn,t make me feel better. Beat.
 b4 A PEMININE f,NDING
A tr'EMININE ENDING

Krlt.Ir all started to se.:m a little silly after a while. I had

husband and a child. Wt *r*i
a MOVEMBNT STX: A SIMPLE LIFE
^t
you in front of the television ffio*.d to do - put
,o -t .oiriJgo
--*'" { paint? What Lights up outside anothu d,oor. BrILY's. AMANDA
kind of a mother does that? in his pajamas.
krtochs. BuLY opsn"s the d,om
KIM tahns tlu paintingfrorzAMANDA
and, hoks at it.
tltl.lx. Amanda?
I knew I would Inever paint anything
as beaudful I want to try something.
you. as AMANDA"
Dtl.lY. Okay. What?
Sibnce.
ArrlAND.d This.
AMANDA" you really think
I,m making a huge mistake? AMANDA Aissas nnr,Y.
xo{.Ir's not the choice I would have
made"if l had ir to do AMANDA. How was tha0
over again.
AMAIID ill.tilt Nice.
" What worrld you do instead?
xtlt. (getting_nnotional) I would take AMANDA" And this.
an easel to a mounain
the edge oi a cure _i* *y AII{ANDA hisses B,ll*Y again.
::il:::,::: ll :" *afr,1"ii;;;;;;:^
painb, srare at the horizon "',
ULLY.'fhat was nice too.
yb:fu at tlu painting one more ti,w,
thm hand,s it AMANDA" And what about this?
back. She gets up and stirts n exit.
AITIANDA takesBfrLY's hand.
AMANDA" Where are you going?
xrM. Since we,ve decided that lllLLY. What are you doing?
I,m not leaving your How does this feel?
father tonight, I,m going upstairs. AMANDA.
i-Jr*o Desperare
Housewives. ltLLY. (uarib) Nice.
AMANDA" What should I do now? AMANDA" f)on't you want to invite me in?
I(IM. What do you want to llll.LY. Why?
do sweetreart?
AMANDA" Disappear. AMANDA" I warrt to try something else.
KIM. And Ijust want to be seen. See? It,s rigged. tl,rr,tu. smi,ling) What?
1

ttut leaaa the room.AMANDA thinhsfm AMANDA" I think you should invite me in.
a munent,
bttJrv. (tea^sing) What do you want to try?
Thm grabs hu coat and, heads out
she
the dnm
Beat.
Lights down.
AMANDA" I think we've got something here, don't you?
ll[LY. Uh-huh.
AMANDA" A real connection, right?
llnlY. I gue$$ so.
AMANDA- There's something about the people who knew
 A FEMININE ENDING
A FEMININE ENDING 61

you when you were yours *

before you had decided I.just want love and companionship and the chance
who you wanted to be. Beior"
yo,, r.r'.* rrrat face you lo be fulfilled artistically. You can have it all! You just
wa,nted to wear in the w9rld.'ffr.y,r*
who really know you, you knowl
tfr* only ones r:an't have it aU and be rich. But you're much smarter
B[.Ly. Sure. than I ever thought, which means our children will
Irlrn out smart, which means they can get themselves
AIIANDA. You knew that
I_wasn,t going ro leave you in the scholarships - can I come in?
apple orchard. you knerv tfrat
l"*o.lA come back, tttl,LY, Hold up *
right?
AMANDA" What's the matter?
BIIIYYeah.
AI{ANDA" How did you Sll,LY. I{old-the-hell-up.
knowl
AMANDA" Okay. I'm holding *
uA* y:y li-ke boys who play harcl ro get. At
least you did NII,LY. SLOW THE FUCK DO\AD{.
back in high school.
Exactly! I do. I don,t like AMANDA" Billyl lt's okay. I'm done.
to feel forced. I like m
make my own decisions. lllt,tJ. Ycrunve stopped?
BILLY. That's not what AMANDA" I've stopped.
I sairt. I said you like to chase
people. lltt,LY, Okay. I just need a moment. here. To proce$s some
AMANDA. \4t:ateven The- point is yo.u * get me. you really information.
than anvone ever has. t'{ore
than ,ryo* Ileat.
3,lirTii,Y"'e
BILLy. Okay. $lt,IJ, Are you presnant?
AJ\[,{,NDA" So
what do you think?
AMAND.{ From last night? I don't think so.
Bniy.I'm sorry, I,m having a hard lltl,LY. We used a condom, rightl
dme following this con-
versation. I,m a Iiftle sioned. AMAI.IDA" Yes.

AMANDA, lthrown) Oh. That,s

okay.
ilLLY. Okay good, that's what I thought. Okay. So, why are
In fact.,. you here?
AMAND.d Billyl
Jltt exactly why I Iike yr_ru. Because you,re sroned
right now. Because nlLLY. That'$ me.
)ou get stoned.
BILLY. I get stoned. AMAI{DA.I want to try a relationship. Wirh you.
A-IvIANDA"
You get stoned. And you,re $ILLY. What sort of relationship?
chill and you,re sweet
and you love me just_ the way AMANDA, A permanent one.
f a*. ancf you have a
govern[rent job, which mears trll.LY. A permanent one. Yeah. Okay. I should $ay that I'm
the hours are very rea,
sonable, so you'll be_ able m {lattered. I'm very very flattered. But I don'r think I'm
picf< u[ our son from
soccer and drop our daughrer
it ballei * in a place in my life right nowwhere I can be very gen-
BII"LY.I /ho? erou$ t0 anybody else.
AMANDA" And I'll bet vou,re a half,decent AMAI{DA" What?
cook, aren,t youl
And you,ll ,r"u., iiuu. money. nlLLY. But I like you a whole lot. And I'm really glad we
But I don,t want money.
 A FEMININE E,NDING A FEMININE ENDING 59

had the opportunity to reesta.blish contact. r nrsl,uge. Lighls d,oun,.

AMANDA.W}IAI'?
BUIY. And I'rJ like us to relnain fiicnds. I mean - if that's
cool with you.
AMANDA. lVhat about last night? MOVEMENT 7: OBLIVION
BILLY. Last night was awesome .
Ligh,ts up 'i?x rflM's lror,tse. AMANDA entu's. Th'ue's
AMANDA. All the things we said to ea(h other.
rlobor$ tltu'e. KIM's sttitca,ses (ffe gon'e.
BILLY. It was intense.
,\MANDA. Morn? Kirn?
AMANDA, You told me all women werr: {brced to speak the
language of their oppressors. DA\,'ID, Atnantla,'s .father; enl,ers, reailing .sorne prt'ges of
BILLY. No, I saicl tlrat mos{: dominaill western languages are aomputa p'ri,n,t-auts on, ltufoutted pa,pw: He has a gl'nss
constmcted on a, frierarchical systern of binary oppo- of hranr$ i,'n, his hand.
sites that irnplies the innate inlbriority of women. You r)AVID. [Iello Kitty.
can speak whatever you \t,?nl, You don't. have to speak What are )orr doirrg here?
,\MANDA. Dad?
at all.
I)AVID.I live here. What are you doing lrere? I{iclirrg out?
AMANDA" I thought you loved me.
AMAND"{ Mom r:allecl she .." she needed rny help with
Bltlv. (ho'nestly baril,cle.refi Dirl I say that?
Itonlethillg. Is she hcre?
AMAND.{ Why dirl you slcep with me, then?
l)A\flD. I traven't seen her' I was hoping there'rI be some-
BIIIY. Yotr asked ure to. thing for tne ro e at when I got hr:tne' But no such luck'
AMANDA. Bullshit. Ytru brought rne up there to ,.. becl me. I was.just abcxll. to order a pizza. Oarc tt;l^join me?
BILLY. Bed?
AMANDA sertrcltes'roun. DLYID sits tJown, on' the cou'clt,
AMANDA.Iruck! ubsmhed,'in, h,is rettdittg.
nrr,rv, Well yes *
Wha.t are you lctoking for?
AMAND,{ W}II?
AMANDA. She clicln't leave a rote or anythins?
BILLY. Are you kidding? You left urc widr hlue-balls through
DAvm. gutt t,ook'in g u,p) She's probably at another one of her
rny errtire adolescence. I've been waitiug to fi.rck you
classes. Slte's bcen takinE; night classes at the comil)u-
for ten years. That's the longest time I've ever wanted
nity college.
anyttring. I dorr't knorv what l'm going to do with the
-fhat's rrMANDA.Wlty?
rcst o{ my li{'e. what I wa$ thinkiilg about tr:day
when I decided to get high. DAVID, I suppose my couversatir:n is not that stillruladng
anlmr{Jre .
AMANDA starus atBlLLY Jbr a seco'ntl^
Looki'n,g u!), he dfl&s ANTA\IDL's far;e.'
BILLY. Come on. You really want to move back to New
Harnpshire ancl bear the fiuit of ury loins? Amanda DA\,TD. Otr Kitty, I clon't take il. personally - when you get
Blue, you were goirrg to be huge. to bc our age you neecl a little nelv inlbr:mation every
now arrd *tcn' Warcls olf Alzheimers'
AMANDA tltvns a'n,d rttatk.s ofJ, l,eaai'ng BlILt-v alone
 A TEMININE ENDING
A trEMININE ENDING 6I

AMANDA" What are you reading?

No, that is clearly not a paradox. The paradox lies in
DAVID. Oh this? It,s my new hobby. r:ornparing my life of perpetual dynamism with the
AMANDA" Those pages are perforated. $ta$fu of humanity a*s a whole. What does this have to
DAYID. They come out of the rlo with newspaper archives?
printer like thar.
AMANDA" Wat is wrongwith Naa Hampshire? AMANDA puts o, pillow oaer her head. ottvw heeps
DAVID. (plla^eefi lt,s Iike reading l,alhing.
a scroll.
AMANDC" What,s your new hobby Dad? Well by reading these first hand accounts of human
DAvID. Well I discovered recently Iristory I have come to the conclusion that, as a spe-
that, atthe college library,
they-have periodicals,-on microfi.fr., cies, we are fundamentally no different then we were
tfrrt go all the
way back to rhe middle of the
lgth ientury. I spent sr:venty-five years ago. The world has gotten older but
a whole monrh reading the New york we are still hanging by our teeth from a frayed rope
Times from
october igzg, right around the time above the mouth of anarchy .. . I read that in an edito.
the stock market
crashed. you,ll never guess what rial from 1929.
dominated the head_
Iines the morning of tLe crash
AMANDA" (louering the pillmt) Dad?
&INDA opens hn mouth to respond,, DAvrD I}AVID. YCs?
beats her
to the punch.
AMANDA" I'm glad you've found something that interests
A transatlantic call Eclison made to you.
Einstein. Theywere
celebrating rhe miracte of thatil;;6;;;ffi;; ItAvID. It's important. I've been bored.
story of the stock fall *r* nrri.a"on AMAI.{DA" (an accusaliorr) \{hy don't you go with Mom to
$ays. Jtrg page 16.
It took the New york Times rhr." dt;;; her classes?
reatize rhar
anlthing was seriously wrong. \,[hy
am t fascinated by llAVID. Your mother and I have already spent quite a bit of
time together.
Again, AITANDA tries to speah _ AMANDA" But you love each other.
again, stwb too shw,
As I get older J'm be, ItAvID. Even still, when you've been married to someone as
existrnce. wh* il
iXT,TUlffi ii,$: f ffiffiJJ long as your mother and I have been married, you'll
understand. After a while it's not so different fi'om
time ago that, despite my menul acuity,
I:^.:]"_Tf: man. rhat r am growing con_
spending time with yourself.
::.i.i:.j:ls*:,yourq
unuously older. That aging is not a definitl process AMANDA. What'g wrong with ttrat?
rarher a fundament but
riri. Th."gh
"r one.
eighteen, I am the only
i;;;lae, mys"u tlAvID. We know ourselves well. There are a lot of other
l rri p.r..iu"d as older people irr the world that I would like to get to know.
by others and rhus must adjust *y
modate this new reality. But no *oor.,
tJ;;;;
ro accom_ AMANDA" Is that why you're spending your time reading
t aue I Iearned newspapers from 1929?
already nfty and must adapr DAVID. It's more social than you think. I have a very nice
lx:r,i""1",:l2}:1T
again. Is that a paradox?
lady friend there, a librarian, who helps me out quite
.tUmnaTrat stnugs. a bit.
AMANDA. She's a librarian?!
 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE BNDING

DAVID.I:r,
Td a part-time figure skater if you can believe
it. The library is sort of her day job. Apparently com-
Silence.

petitive figure skating is very expensiue. Especially lrAvID. Your mother tells me you're planning a wedding.
you aren't very good.
if
AMANDA" Iechnically.|ack's manager is planning a wed-
AtrIANDA" I can't believe you,re telling
me this. rling. But I am engagecl.
DAVID. Not interesrcd, huh? That,s too
bad. I thought now ltAvID. That calls for a toast.
that you were older we could be friends. Am"I disap DAvID goar ta a cabinet benpath thc boakcases and pulls
pointed? I suppose slightly. But part me is pleasea
tnat ou,t a bottl,e of uine.
I can still think of you as a self_obsessed idolescent.
Then I must not be very old either. l)AvID. I've been saving this.
AMANDA" Dad, I have something I have to say ro you _ AMANDA" (reading the laheD Handel Vinelards?
DAvtD. Where is your mother? I'd be more lrAVID. It's from a small winery near Toronto. I picked it up
comfcrrtable if on a business trip. On the night before you marryJack
you said it to her and then she translated it to me.
AMANDA. She's gone. I{andel, I was planning to open up this bottle of wine
and driuk myself into oblivion.
DAVID. Perhaps you could wait until she returns to issue
your manifesto. Beat.
AMANDA" She's nor coming back. She's gone
for good. She lrAvID. But might as well drink it now.
left you.
AMANDA. Doesn't anybody likeJack?
Beat. lrAvID. Theoretically you do, Kiry.
That isn't nice Amanda.
DAYID. AMANDA" He's not a bad person.
AMANDA" It's the cruth Dad. trAvID. Certainly not. If you're partial to pretentious little
farts.
DAVID gets up abru,ptly and goes out of the room.
He
comes back a rnornent latur, his AMANDA stares at him. She's tired, of dnfmd,irug haself
face ashm. He sits tl,awn.
to eugtyone,
DAVID. She took my favorite painting.
AMANDA- I am so sad. Why am I so sad? I'm too young to
AII{ANDA" DAd - be sad.
DAVID. Are you staying here tonight?
llAVID. You're not sad. I'm sad. You're just scared.
AMANDA" Do you want me to?
AIrlAND.dYou don't know what I'm talking about.
DAVID. You must be anxious to get back
to the city.
llAvID.I was young once too.
AMANDA" I'd rather stay here tonight. Unless you want to
invite someone else over. AMANDA" But you were a young man. It's not the same
thing.
DAVID. Who?
lrAvtD.You think people don't take seriously becau$e you're
Beat. awoman.
DAVID. I don't have any friends. your mother has friends. AMANDA" It isn't fair.
tlAvID. Life isn't fair.
 64 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING

AMANDA.'Ihanks Dad.
itr lirt,fbil. She hu,nds i,t silently to ha'father IIe urum'aps
DAVID. Luckily, it,s not very long.
And nothing that yorr clo lhe patknge and, lifts ou,t its contertl,s.
mat[:ers.
AMANDA. Ycru clon,t even takc me r r..\\'lI).'l'hcse arc your mother's.
seriously.
I do take you seriorrsly,. I took your mother tr\ri\NDA. ldisgusted) Dad.
ser.iously
when she ca[re to the sarne conclusion u,\Vll). I lxnght them fior her, years ago" When we were {irst
thirq, yearl I thought
ago. I don,t knorv what to tell you, rrurrricd. .A,s a sort <lfjoke. she hacl thrown
Kiny. That,s;irst ttre
way it is. tlr(:r'Ir ()1r1..

AMANDA. That isn't he\:ful. \r\tANDA. I don't belier,c you.

DAVID.Jesus Amanda, put your life r,,\vtl). I tronestly clon't care. I have ottrer problems right
in perspectivc. Ttrirty
percent of Africa is dying of AIDS. ilow.
AMANDA" You don,r helieve this is .\r\tANDA. Why worrld she put her underwear in your coat
a real problem.
DAITD. I think there are a lot of por:ket and tell me it belr.lnged to the worlan yolr were
Jreople in the world who slceping with?
don't feel appreciated for u,ho they are.
Iror exarnple, I *
seriously doubt your modrer apprr:ciates L\VID. It does beloilg to the woruan I am sleeping with
me very much
right.now despite thr: fact rhai i've \r\tANDA. She saicl you wcre having an affair!
shown thar wonlar)
nothing bur love fbr thirty years. lr,\\/lD. I suppose she wanted to believe I was.
AMANDA. Unr.il you srarred slecping \[{ANDA. WIry?
wirh a libr.arian,
Beat. trr\VID. Isn't. it obvious?
DAVID. Is that what she
,\r\{ANDA. Nol Why woulcl she leavc yorr if she didn't have
told you? to?
AMANDA. She knows you,re traving
an affair; Dacl. That,s l),,wtD. She wants to leave rne, Amanda. She's treert waitittg
why she left.
litr an excuse. She lnust be tired oI waitirrg.
DAVID. T'hat's not possible.
,\MANDA. So she made up a rcason?
AIVTANDA" Whar,s nor possible?
The {act lhat she fotrnd out
or the fact that stre left you over it? oaVtO sDrugs.
DAVm. The ,.fact drat she found out,, is actually AMANDA.'l'hat.'s insane.
the part
that's perplexing me. ulvlD, Really? May I suggest you're rnarryingJack Hanclel
AMANDA. She found sorneone,s unclerwear in yorrr coat becarrse you can'tlind a gond rcason why you shouldn't
pocket. rnarryJack [{andel.
DAVID. Did she? May I sec said underwear.? ,IMANDA. \Mrat does it rnatter? If it doesn't work out, I can
AMANDA hesi,ta.tes. .iust stuff ury underwear in his pocket" and walk out the
rloor.
DAVID. I can - I can only imagine wha.t you think of me nlvrD. I clouhl. it was that easy, But yes, you now have [rat
right now
option. Arrd that is what has changcd frorn my genera-
AMANDA exits a,,nd rehtt n,s wi,th ttrc untlanuear u.apped tion to yotrrs. It took your mother t-hirry years clo tltis.
It will take you three .
 66 A BEMININE ENDING
A TEMININE ENDING

AMANDA" This doesn,t make any sense.

llAvID. There's not much you can do about it.
DAVID.What?
AMANDA- I want to be a great composer.
AII{ANDA"Any of it!
IIAWD. Sowrite great music.
DAVID. Some of it makes sense. I find the seasons
to be AMANDA- I DON'T HAVE TIME. I have a firll-time job. I
relatively consisrenr. Thunder
fof to*s iigfrt"rrirg.
H.ut have a fianc6e to love. I have a mother, newly single,
mel$ snow. That,s the sort of causality
your
you can hang who I have to look after. I have you to worry about. I
hat on.
have to make dinner. I have a bathroom that gets dirty.
AMANDAL Nothing makes sense
to me but music. I sound like an idiot. - What are you doing?
DAVID. So go there.
AMANDA" Name a female composer.
DAVID is stuffi,ng the und,erwear into the pocket of
Name one. Amand,a's jachat.
DAVID. I can'L
AIT,IANDA" You see?
AMANDA" What are you doing? Dad!
DAYID. Amanda, I can,t name any composer I)AVID, There.
more contem-
porary than C,ershwrn. AMANDA" What?
They,re hard to find. In graduate IIAVID, There's your excu$e.
school, I was in
a class with four men. AII ,"fr*u.fr.r*
iu.r" _.rr. ny AMAI.{DA tahcs the undsrwear out and stares at them,
the second year I started
-having "
I'm- at a party with all my classma"tes
*.rr.rirg dream. l)AvID.You can use it now. Oryou can wrap it in tinfoil and
anJsomehow I,ve put it back in the refrigerator for another thirty years.
ended up as rhe n"r,.."1r: rn walts
Amadeus. He comes up to me, 1t;"G Wotfgang
he kisses me on both
It will always be there. Waiting for you.
cieeks and he says *Amandr, *u
the honor of introducrng me to
.t.ri*,;i;*" do me AMANDA doesn't hnow what to say.
my compeddon,,. He lrAvID. There is clne significant di{ference between you and
T..Tr my classmarcs, Dad. The br:ys. But before I,ve
finished,Johannes Bach walks Bach and Beethoven.
i", i.i;;;e on
cheeks and requests an inroducu.".'g"Jr^t both Those men are dead.
on his
Beerhoven, sr,"u.ri ir,opin and AMANDA" lthe realfeat) What if I'm not good enough?
li:* ::., loming
Wagner. I turn around and I
kovsky, Bernsrcin, Copeland,
,_ ;;;i.;U ffiI DAVID.You'll die too.

become a conduit between famous

Crr.rrJ"]l have just AMANDA" ['m serious -
men, a facititz- l)AvID. But if you are good enough - if you're scl good, you
tor of introductions, a vessel for the
communication exceed everyone's wildest expectations * same deal.
and genius. And I n"J *v*ubecom-
|1:1r5:i Umius
,lrd rnore.agiared because r have this Beat,
:Ifl:1:
rnat someone is missing. But I
feeling
can see that everyone Do you want me to put them back in the refrigerator?
who matters is already there.
I'm not making this up Dad. AMANDA thinhs about itfm a mommt.
DAVID. I know you're not AMANDA" I'll
keep them.
Kitty.
AMANDA" I don't know what
I,m supposed to do about it. DAVID. You sure? Because I'm going to the kitchen now.
 A FEMININE ENDING A FEMININE ENDING

I'm- on my way there. I'm going to unload

the dish- DA CAPO: TO BBGIN AGAIN AT THE
washer, so it wouldn,tbe any trJuble at all to make a
quick stopover at the refrigerator _
BEGINNING.
AIT{ANDA" I,m SURE. Lights up. AMANDA is front and cmtet; d,ounstage. She
DAVID. Good. [,m glad you,re sure. clutches the und,auear in her hand. Behind, het; BuLY
AMANDA" Dad? andoAYm are co.rrying all the fumitu,re and scmuy
DAVTD. Kitty? off stage.
AMANDA. Mom,s gone. AMANDA" (to the audimce) I'm sorry that I leftyou back there.
DAVID.I'm beginning to understand that. I got a little overwhelmed. Things didn't happen the
AMANDA" Why are you so calm? way I expected them to.

DAVID considns this.

I'm back in New York. This is the door to my apart-
ment.
DAVID, lVhat should I do?
AMANDAJfuftes the kq out of hu bag.
DAVID wai,ts. A gmuine question.
AMANDA" I slept at rny parents' house last night. or maybe
AMANDA" I don't know. it's my father's house now, I don't know. I helped him
DAVID smila, aay sad. sweep up all the broken China. We ordered Chinese
food and ate it off of paper plates. He didn't say much
DAVID.I think she,ll be back. The world else for the rest of the night. When I left this morning
is not particularly
kind to women over fiftp he was still in bed.
DAVrD exits calrnly into tlto hitchm.A[4ANDA I don't know where my mother is.
sits d,own
on the couth, staring at the underwear. It's strange to think I used to have a family. Like I used
All of the sudd,m, a tsruible nashing sound is luard.. to have a dog, Or I used to have short hair. Separated,
FoL the parus don't add up to anlthing. We're just people
loand @ another and, anothsr euiwnn jumps
up and now,
goes to the d,omway.

AMANDA" Dad? AMANDA sighs. Ttms to the apartmmt, Til,ms bach.

A plate is hurted, through the d,oorway. AMANDA" What ifJack is inside fucking his manager?
It shattas at
AMANDAT/arr. She junps bach. AMANDA hnochl Jaak opcns the dom.
Lights d,own. Hi.
JACIL
AT{ANDA"Hi.
JACIIYoU got a letter. From the NewYork Spnphonique.
JACK handsAMANDA the l,etten She opms it. Rtads.

JACIiWhat does it say?

AMANDA" It says one of my classmates won the spring New
 A FEMININE ENDING
A FEMININE ENDII.IG 7l

Voices festival.
AMANDA" And falling into tin pails, which wakes the sleep
AII{ANDA fold,s the tetter up and, Suts it bach in the ing frogs.
maelope.
The low, noaking chords.
AMANDA" I
have to tell you something.
AMANIIA. The front door of my house opens with the first
JACK I have to tell you something. burst of sun ... and my mother steps into a winuy
nUaf.iOn"You go firsl morning,
JACILIwantaprenup. AMAND#s sym,phony begin,s to play.
AMANDA" I slept with someone
else.
AMANDA" Her hair is wet and her cheeks are red. She has
AIIANDA tahes off hcr engagenrmt
ring and, hands it to a palette in one hand and a paintbrush in the other.
JACR. He puts it in his pocket, sadly."He And she's pregnant. With me.
- goa bach into
the apartmmt. Lights Aorn
rnyci_- My mother's song is... coming. It's coming.
AMANDA tums bach to the aud,imce. I dreamed the party dream again last night. But this
She is fi,nally at a
lossfmwmd* time, there were women everywhere. They appeared
JAC,N rea$eors and, hands her a beautiful, dimly at first, like ghosts, moving between the men.
natt oboe.
Nobody else saw them. But I did. So I excused mpelf
AMAND.{ What,s this?
from the circle of introductions. I picked up my oboe
JACK ft's whatI should have given you originally. and I played. The women da,nced. And I remember
AMAND{ It,s beautiful. thinking, if I never stop playing, maybe they'll stay.
Jnqf" baby, you gotra be.certain. you got the goods. But AMANDA puts the oboe to her rnouth. She louers it
if you ain,t selling, can,r nobody
U" 8upng. agai,n.
AMANDA hoks at him, confused,
b, the d,ietect. AMANDA. In music, the term "feminine ending" is used
JACK I'm breaking into hiphop. when a phrarse or movement ends in an unstressed
AMANDA" Good luckwith that. note or weak cadence.
In literary terminology, the technique is called a "dying
JACtt puts on his shadcs.
rhyrne".
;ACK I'm going to tA for a while. I,ll call you when I come I am afraid this is a feminine ending.
back. I am ... afraid.
lUnfrrOl zoals. AMANDA puts her lips to thc reed and blows a PWct
Lights down onJACK. A. As the li.ghts fade, the saund, of an orch.estra risa,
tuning.
AMANDA" (lo the aud,imce) There,s a
song I,ve wanted to
write my whole life. It begins *ith
melting offthe roof of thl house
td sounds of snow
I gr;* up in. END OF PII\Y.
The sanu high, tin nota.