New Readers Press

Division of ProLiteracy™ Worldwide

 Digitized by the Internet Archive
in 2020 with funding from
Kahle/Austin Foundation

https://archive.org/details/writingwellwriteOOOOwils
 Write,
Revise,
Succeedl

Libby Wilson
GED Teacher
Greater Erie Community Action Committee
Stairways Behavioral Health, Inc.

GED Trainer
Pennsylvania Bureau of Adult Basic and Literacy Education

New Readers Press

 Dedicated to all adult education students, with hope that this
book will encourage them to persevere in their educations.
Never, ever give up!

Writing Well
Write, Revise, Succeed!

Libby Wilson
GED Teacher
Greater Erie Community Action Committee
Stairways Behavioral Health, Inc.

GED Trainer
Pennsylvania Bureau of Adult Basic and Literacy Education

ISBN 1-56420-557-6

Copyright © 2006 New Readers Press

New Readers Press
Division of ProLiteracy Worldwide
1320 Jamesville Avenue, Syracuse, New York 13210
www.newreaderspress.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or
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Printed in the United States of America

987654321

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support literacy programs in the United States and worldwide.

Acquisitions Editor: Beth Oddy

Design and Production Manager: Andrea Woodbury
Illustrations: Linda Tiff, James Wallace, Carolyn Boehmer
Production Specialist: Jeffrey R. Smith
Cover Design: Kimbrly Koennecke
 Contents

About This Book.page 4

Unit 1: Getting Started

Chapter 1: People Who Read, Succeed .page 5

Skill: One Point, One Paragraph

Chapter 2: Perseverance.page 13

Skill: Generating Ideas

Chapter 3: Beating the Odds.page 21

Skill: Adjusting for Audience

Unit 2: Adding Interest to Writing

Chapter 4: Forge Your Own Path.page 29

Skill: Questioning

Chapter 5: Seek Every Opportunity.page 37

Skill: Interesting Openings

Chapter 6: Go Forward, Despite the Risk. page 45

Skill: Adding Details Using the Five Ws

Chapter 7: Find the Support You Need .page 53

Skill: Adding Sensory Details

Unit 3: Writing Clearly

Chapter 8: Keep a Positive Outlook.page 61

Skill: Summarizing

Chapter 9: The Power of Education.page 69

Skill: Sequencing

Chapter 10: Find Work You Love.page 77

Skill: Writing Essays

Chapter ITTheGood Life.page 85

Skill: Cohesive Writing

Editing Checklist.page 93

GED Essay Scoring Rubric.page 94

Glossary.page 95

Students and the Programs They Attended.page 96

 About This Book

What Is Writing?
How would you define writing? Is it spelling words correctly? Using correct
grammar? Adding commas? Writing five paragraphs, including an introduction
and a conclusion? Writing may include these, but it is much more. Writing is
expressing your thoughts on paper so that someone else can understand
them. The first goal of this book is to help you use writing to discover what
you think and feel. "Good writing is clear thinking made visible." (Bill Wheeler,
educator)

Revising Writing
The second goal of this book is to convince you that a first draft is just a
starting point. Look at the draft from your reader's viewpoint. How can you
make it more interesting or easier for the reader to follow? Work with what you
have written. Dig deeper into your subject. Look for new ideas. Reviewing your
draft and making changes is called revising. All good writers learn to revise
their work.

Writing with a Partner or with a Group

You may think that writing is something you do on your own. However, parts
of the writing process can be much more effective—and much more fun—if
you do them with others. Share ideas and details about a topic; ask questions
about a piece; evaluate what works and doesn't work; edit together for spelling
and punctuation; or create a group product.

When you work with others, give feedback that is helpful rather than
discouraging or hurtful. Make comments like these:

• "I especially liked ..."

• "I'm not sure I understand ..",
• "I would like to know more about..."
• "Maybe you could ..."

At times, you may wish to work alone. You should always have that option.

Portfolios
Keep your finished writing in a portfolio. Its contents will become a lasting
record of your improving writing skills.

Adult Education Success Stories

Each chapter in this book tells the story of an adult student who worked
long and hard to create a fulfilling life. Learning to read and write well was an
important part of their success stories. These true stories show that success is
possible, even under difficult and challenging circumstances.

Now, write! Revise! And may you succeed in reaching your goals, too!

About This Booh

4
 CHAPTER

People Who Read, Succeed

Writing Skill:
One Point, One Paragraph
Imagine growing up in a home where no English was spoken. You
learned no alphabet, no days of the week, no numbers. When
you went to school, everyone seemed to know more than you
did. You were very quiet, and you tried to disappear in the large
classroom.

When a problem occurred, your mother felt

incapable of talking with a teacher or counselor.
She pulled you out of school.

This happened year after year after year. By

high school, you still couldn't read. Kids teased,
you suffered, and your mother took you out of
school for good. At home, you cooked, cleaned,
and knew you had no future. You were not
sure that living was worthwhile.

Then, a miracle occurred, and you

discovered a capable, confident self that you
never dreamed existed!

Reading. It can make all the difference.

This is Viridiana's story.

Chapter 1
5
 "I Can't Believe How My Life Has Changed."
"Viridiana, it's your turn," the tenth-grade English third-grade reading level. More important, she

teacher said. "Please read the next page aloud." decided to try the program.

Viridiana Ramos tried her best, but she could Although she was nervous at first, Viridiana

barely read at all. Laughter erupted in the room. loved it! She was the youngest in a class of six. The

Viridiana wanted to disappear under her desk. classmates became friends and helped each other.
The staff was kind. And a dedicated tutor named
She had never finished a whole year of school.
Her mother spoke no English and had little Alice studied with Viridiana two mornings a week.

education. When Viridiana was being bullied or In a small class where the pace was slow, Viridiana
had another major problem, her mother simply found that she could learn. She was an enthusiastic,
took her out of school. In her family, education was patient, hardworking student. For seven months,
not a priority. she studied letter sounds and syllables. After that,

The English teacher recommended that Viridiana found herself at a new, higher reading

Viridiana get help from the school's Reading Center. level. Exciting new worlds began to open up!

Viridiana went twice, but the secretary just talked on Over the next two years, Viridiana earned 145
the phone and ignored her. No one helped her. credits and received her diploma. She gained great
Discouraged, she dropped out of school. self-confidence, and her life became full of hope

Viridiana was depressed for the next two years. All and possibilities.

she did was cook and clean. She wanted to learn to Today, Viridiana Ramos is an area administrator
read, to finish high school, and to get a good job. for a home-mortgage company, a job she loves.
One day, Viridiana's sister met two tutors from She will forever feel grateful to Alice and the adult-
a literacy council. They encouraged her to bring school staff for their help and encouragement.
Viridiana to their program. Painfully shy, never Learning to read and write well completely
raising her eyes, Viridiana went. She tested at the transformed her life.

Vocabulary

erupted - burst out mortgage - loan against property

priority - something of great importance encouragement - support
recommended - suggested transformed - changed
administrator - person in charge

Chapter 1
6
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then read the sentences aloud.

1. To put my son through college, I took out a_ on my house.

How many years will it take to pay off your_

I'll pay off the___in 20 years.

2. The teachers gave Viridiana a lot of_.

Most people need _ when they are having a hard time.

Without__ , it is easy to lose hope.

3. A tutor's first _is to teach reading.

Suppose the student's is math?

Then, they will have to discuss what their joint should be.

4. Viridiana is an at a mortgage company.

An has a lot of responsibility.

Usually, a dedicated employee is chosen to become an

The students in laughter.

Then, the teacher's laugh as well.

They_ with joy when their team won the game.

The teacher _that Viridiana go to the Reading Center.

Viridiana did as he _, but she received no help.

The tutors that Viridiana come to their adult program.

7. /Success at the adult school Viridiana into an outgoing person.

Learning to read_ her self-image.

By meeting her goals, she her life.

Chapter 1
7
React to the Story
Relax. Then write your thoughts about the story. For five minutes, write whatever
comes to mind. Don't worry about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: One Point, One Paragraph

A paragraph should have only one main idea. The rest of the paragraph should
support that one idea with interesting details. When writers move on to new ideas,
they start new paragraphs.

Reread the last two paragraphs of Viridiana's story on page 6. In which of them might
this sentence belong? "She became friendly and outgoing."

Here are two main ideas:

1. Viridiana's mother did not support her desire for education.

2. Viridiana loved her new school.

Put a 1 beside each sentence that belongs in a paragraph with the first main idea.
Put a 2 beside each sentence that belongs with the second main idea.

_Her mother wanted her to drop out of adult school and stay home.

_It became her home away from home.

_For the first time in her life, she felt good about her abilities.

__She did not think it was important to graduate.

_She began to help out, answering phones and tutoring new students.

_No one at home ever tried to help her with her schoolwork.

_The students and staff became her good friends.

_Her mother felt that she was losing Viridiana to the new school.

Chapter 1
8
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Write a paragraph about a time when you felt proud of yourself.

Think of a time when you were proud of yourself for something that you
accomplished. What was the situation? How did you feel? Why did you feel
that way? In the space below, write brief notes about the experience.

Now organize your notes. Circle what seems most important to you. Cross out any
ideas that don't seem to fit.

Write
Write the paragraph. This is your first draft.

Chapter I
9
 In each of this book's chapters, you will be asked to review your writing against a
rubric. Rubrics can help you make effective changes to your writing. A rubric contains
features to look for, and it describes how well each feature has been done. When you
finish comparing your writing to a rubric, you'll see what needs to be improved.

Reread your paragraph. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the box
that best describes your paragraph.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Paragraph has one main Paragraph is about one Paragraph mentions
Structure idea.Topic sentence idea. No topic sentence several ideas. No one
states it. makes it clear. main idea stands out.
Main idea supported by Paragraph mentions Paragraph does not
three or more details. one or two details. Not include details. Details
Content
All details directly related all details relate to do not relate to main
to main point. main point. point.
Main idea and details are Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular
Organization in an order that makes confusing. order. Hard to understand.
sense.

Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in the
same row to see how to improve your writing.

Revise
First drafts are never perfect. In this book, you will always be asked to revise your work.
After considering the rubric, answer these questions.

1. What main idea did you want to express in your paragraph? Write your topic
sentence below.

2. Do the other sentences in your paragraph relate to that main idea? Cross out
any sentences that do not.

3. Does your paragraph need more details to support its topic sentence? On
your first draft, make a note of any details you want to add.

4. Decide which sentences should come first, second, etc. Show the sequence by
writing the numbers 1,2,3, etc., before the sentences and ideas in your draft.

Chapter I
10
Now, rewrite your paragraph, following your plan. Put your main idea in a
topic sentence; then write sentences using the supporting details that you
have chosen in the sequence you like.

Chapter
11
 It is often helpful to work with one or more other people when reviewing and
revising your work. Here are some guidelines for working with others.

• Have the writer read the passage aloud. Listen carefully.

• Look for what is good in the passage. Be specific. ("I especially liked...")
• Locate problems. Again, be specific. ("I'm not sure I understand...")
• Make constructive suggestions. ("Maybe you could...")
• Ask questions. ("Can you tell me more about.. ,?""Why did you.
• Avoid discouraging or hurtful remarks. Respond as you hope others will
respond to your writing.

6. Share your paragraph with a writing partner. Then evaluate it against this
rubric. Notice the new features. Decide together which statement in each row
best describes your work. Then circle the statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Paragraph has one Paragraph is about one Paragraph mentions
Structure main idea.Topic idea. No topic sentence several ideas. No one
sentence states it. makes it clear. main idea stands out.
Main idea supported by Paragraph mentions Paragraph does not
three or more details. one or two details. include details.
Content
All details directly Not all details relate Details do not relate
related to main point. to main point. to main point.
Main idea and details Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular
Organization are in an order that confusing. order. Hard to
makes sense. understand.
First word in each Capitalization of initial No capitalization of
Capitalization
sentence is capitalized. words is inconsistent. first words in sentences.
Sentences end with a Most sentences end with End punctuation
Punctuation period, question mark, correct punctuation. is inconsistent or
or exclamation point. incorrect.

Discuss with your writing partner what you can do to improve

your rubric rating.

7. With your partner, edit your paragraph.

Produce and Present

Prepare a final, edited version of your paragraph for your portfolio.

Chapter 1
12
 CHAPTER

Perseverance
Writing Skill:
Generating Ideas
If anyone had good reason to give up on learning to read and
write, it was Richard Evans. By the third grade, he didn't even know
the alphabet. Kids were mean. Teachers seemed unable
mitiikbbiL.
to help, and Richard felt lost and confused. School
was a nightmare. He finally quit school just after
his 18th birthday. But alcohol and drugs soon
took over his life.

A few years later, while being tested for

depression, Richard found out that he had
several major learning difficulties. He felt
encouraged. He wasn't dumb! Maybe there
were ways to work around these problems.
He knew he would like himself better if he
could read and write, so he decided to try
formal learning again.

But time after time, he met with failure.

Most people would have given up. It was
Richard's perseverance, his determination to
keep going in spite of setbacks, that
enabled him to succeed.

This is Richard's story.

l*U**“*

IfUpiW'*'-'

Chapter 2
13
 "If I Can Do It, Anyone Can."
By the time he was in junior high, Richard had a your own way." What a relief. There was hope!

phobia about school. School was torture. He threw Because he learned differently from others, he
up every morning and had bad dreams every night. couldn't just sit and study one thing at a time.
During the school day, he tried to make himself Learning was much easierfor him when he had two
invisible. or three computers going at once, each involving a

Fortunately, Richard was talented in electronics. different project. He also found a reading program

When he dropped out of school at 18, he got a good for his computer that pronounced words as he read

job working with a robotic cutting tool. At last, he along. Slowly, he made progress.
felt like a success! More confident now, Richard wanted to re-enter
However, his private life was not so successful. He school. His first effort to conquer his school phobia
married, but the marriage was not happy. He got was to drive by the community college many times.
involved with alcohol and drugs. Richard began to Next, he parked for 30-minute periods in the
hate his life. parking lot. At last, he entered the building.

Then he heard about a book, Tough Times Never Seeking nontraditional students, the college
Last, But Tough People Do by Robert Schuller. With accepted him. But Richard dropped out after three
his wife's help, Richard "read" his first book, and it weeks, overwhelmed. He studied on his own for a
made him want to change his life. He entered a year and then tried again. This time, he succeeded!
residential treatment facility. When he shared his struggles with a speech class,

While in recovery, Richard began to write a they said, "Richard, you have to share your story with
journal. Writing was hard for him, but he found that others!" This became the focus of his new life. He,
it helped him with his reading. He knew that he majored in special education and now teaches and
might never feel better about himself unless he counsels others with learning differences.
could read and write well. Richard calls his learning differences a gift because
Richard decided to enroll in a literacy program. they led him to work that he feels passionate about.
He was told, "You can learn, but you have to do it His life is now spent giving hope to others.

phobia - crippling fear conquer - overcome

invisible - unable to be seen nontraditional - not customary
residential - where people live overwhelmed - helpless; defeated
facility - a building with a special purpose

Chapter 2
14
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.

1. Going back to school__Richard.

What in life has__you?

Overwhelmed means___.

2. Some rehabilitation facilities are open only during the day, but others are_.

Cities have industrial areas and __areas.

Residential means___.

3. Some dog fences are_. An electric signal is what keeps dogs in the yard.

Using mirrors, a magician can make himself seem_.

Invisible means_.

4. His new confidence made him feel that he could_all!

It takes practice to_the fear of public speaking.

Conquer means_.

5. There is a fish-packing_on the other side of town.

Have you toured the school's new technical_?

Facility means_

6. Many people have a _about flying.

Do you have a_ about snakes?

Phobia means_
i

7. Some schools take a_approach to teaching.

Many Asian women now wear __dress.

Nontraditional means_

Chapter 2
15
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Shill: Generating Ideas

Sometimes it is hard to think of ideas to write about. In this chapter, you'll try two of the
many ways to come up with ideas for writing: creating an idea web, and talking with
someone about your topic.

The diagram below is called an idea web. Use it to help you gather and organize
your ideas before writing. Write a main idea in the center circle. Then write related
ideas or details in the surrounding circles.

Get Ready to Write

Write a paragraph about a problem that someone has and does not want to face.

1. Think about a friend or family member who has a problem that he or she
doesn't want to face. Make up a name for that person if you wish. Pick a
situation that you are willing to discuss with a classmate or writing partner.

2. Think about the situation. Why is the situation a problem? Does it hurt the
person? Does it hurt other people? Why do you think the person is avoiding
the problem? What steps could be taken to solve the problem? Write notes
about the situation on a separate piece of paper.

Chapter 2
16
 3. Discuss your notes with a classmate or writing partner. Ask for helpful
comments and questions. Add to your notes, or cross out notes that do
not belong on your list.

4. Decide on one main idea for your paragraph. Write that main idea in the
center circle of your idea web.

5. Pick two or three supporting ideas, or details, for that main idea. Write the
supporting ideas in the other circles in the web.

W rite
1. Write a paragraph about the person and his or her problem.

Cftapter 2
17
 2. Reread your paragraph. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle
the statement that best describes your paragraph.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Paragraph has one main Paragraph is about one Paragraph mentions
Structure idea. Topic sentence idea. No topic sentence several ideas. No one
states it. makes it clear. main idea stands out.
Main idea supported by Paragraph mentions Paragraph does not
three or more details. one or two details. Not include details. Details
Content
All details directly related all details relate to do not relate to
to main point. main point. main point.
Main idea and details are Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular
Organization in an order that makes confusing. order. Hard to
sense. understand.

Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

Revise
You wrote the first draft for yourself. Now suppose that you want to send the paragraph
to the person with the problem. You might make some changes. This is called adapting
your writing for a different audience. Always write with your audience in mind.

1. Share your paragraph with a classmate or writing partner. Ask that person to
pretend he or she is the person with the problem. Ask, "How does reading
what I wrote make you feel? Hurt? Upset? Understood? Hopeless?" Discuss
the following ideas:

• Tone. Tone is the overall manner in which words are spoken or written.
Is the tone accusing? Sympathetic? Encouraging?

• Word choice. Which words set the tone of the writing? Do the words say
precisely what you mean?

2. Discuss any changes you would make before writing to the person with
the problem. What tone would you aim for? What words would help achieve
that tone?

3. Make notes on your first draft about these changes.

Chapter 2
18
4. Revise your paragraph. Write it to the person who has the problem.

• Choose your words carefully.

• Keep the person in mind while you write. Write directly to that person.
• Put the most important idea first, then follow with supporting ideas.

Chapter 2
19
 5. If possible, work with a writing partner. Otherwise, think by yourself about
what you learned in this chapter. Consider these questions:

• What did you like or dislike about using the idea web?
• Did talking with others help you think of more ideas?
• How did having a specific reader in mind change your writing?

6. Share your paragraph with your writing partner. Then evaluate it against this
rubric. Decide together which statement in each row best describes your work.
Then circle the statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Paragraph written Audience is not clear. No apparent attempt
Audience directly to its audience. to write to a specific
audience.
Paragraph has one main Paragraph is about one Paragraph mentions
Structure idea. Topic sentence idea. No topic sentence several ideas. No one
states it. makes it clear. main idea stands out.
Main idea supported by Paragraph mentions Paragraph does not
three or more details. one or two details. Not include details. Details
Content
All details directly related all details relate to do not relate to main
to main point. main point. point.
Main idea and details are Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular
Organiza¬
in an order that makes confusing. order. Hard to understand.
tion
sense.
Tone and word choice Some attempt to choose Tone and word choice
Word Choice fit audience well. words and tone to fit not tailored for audience.
audience.

Discuss with your writing partner what you can do to improve your writing.

7. Review the Editing Checklist on page 93. A checklist is helpful when you are
nearly done with a piece of writing. Use it as a guide when you make your
final edits.

Edit your revised paragraph. Pay particular attention to the first five points on
the Editing Checklist.

Produce and Present

Prepare a final, edited version of your paragraph to keep in your portfolio.

Chapter 2
20
 CHAPTER

Beating the Odds

Writing Skill:
Adjusting for Audience
Jason Donaldson had a very rough childhood. The odds were
slim that he would be able to build a life of his own
choosing. Yet, at 33, Jason is training to be a chef,
the occupation of his dreams.

A small part of his success was luck. He

was never in the wrong place at the wrong
time. But a larger success was the result
of making good decisions. He steered
clear of the hard drugs that destroyed
many lives in his neighborhood. And he
»
enrolled in GED classes to work on math
and writing, in spite of his fears.

Most of all, Jason succeeded

because he steadily avoided the
negative influences in life. He
purposely looked for the positive
things that would lead him toward the
life he wanted.

Steady movement along the right

road enabled Jason to beat the odds.

This is Jason's story.

Chapter 3
21
 “I’m Lucky Just to Be Here.”
Earning a GED was an important milestone in not words." When Jason dropped out of school in

Jason Donaldson's life, but his diploma was only one the 11th grade, he was doing well in every subject

important result of his recent classes. "I discovered except math.

I was more capable than I thought," Jason says. For several years, he worked at a pizza shop. Later,
"For the first time in my life, I began to feel good he became an activity aide at a nursing home. When

about myself." that job was downsized, he wanted to find similar

Self-esteem and self-confidence are remarkable work. But he realized that he would need a diploma

characteristics in a man with Jason's background. His or a GED to get a good job. He had thought about

father died when he was two. Low income forced going back to school before, but fear had made him

Jason and his mother to live in an apartment on the procrastinate. This time, he felt he had no choice.
notorious south side of Chicago. "The housing It was the best thing that could have happened.
projects across the street were depressing places, Jason went to class four nights every week to work
filled with drugs, guns, and hopelessness. Everyone on his math and writing skills. Soon, he was ready
felt stuck. Generations of families were just existing, to take the GED test, but there was a four-month
not really living." Jason is grateful to have survived waiting list. He continued attending classes and
life in his neighborhood. "I'm lucky just to be here." then passed the test with honors!

School was no escape. Small for his age, Jason was Jason had always enjoyed cooking. With
constantly picked on. By the third grade, he was encouragement from his teachers, he entered a
skipping school. He spent his days touring Chicago, culinary school. He earns As and Bs and even takes
"learning more than I could have in class." Luckily, he time to mentor several of the younger students.
became a good reader at an early age."I learned that Now, Jason loves being a student chef and using his
if a story or book was written right, you saw images, artistic skills to design attractive food presentations.

Vocabulary

milestone - important step toward a goal procrastinate - keep putting off; delay
capable - able to do things well culinary - related to cooking
notorious - famous for negative reasons mentor - teach; coach; advise; guide
downsized - cut to save the employer
money

Chapter 3
22
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.

1. My son should do his report today, but I know he will_.

If you_, you will miss the deadline.

I procrastinate when_.

2. Did you hear the news? Chris got a scholarship to study_arts.

Lisa won one of the_prizes at the fair.

Culinary means_.

3. Getting a GED is an important_in many people's lives.

Beginning kindergarten is a real_for children.

_was a milestone in my life.

4. Hitler was_for his cruelty.

That restaurant is __for its slow service.

The notorious thief_

5. Jobs at the shop were_ _because fewer orders were coming in.

When his job was_ , he qualified for unemployment.

If my job were downsized,

6. Many adults volunteer to _ _troubled youths.

Jason took time to_ some of the younger students.

To mentor is to_
/

7. Jason knows that he is much more_than he used to think he was.

Chris is a very_basketball player.

I know I am capable when ____

Chapter 3
23
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Adjusting for Audience

We use informal language when we talk with friends or relatives. When you write
to people you know well, you usually write informally, too. When you read it aloud,
informal writing sounds as if you are speaking. It may include slang and casual
expressions, and it has a conversational tone.

Writing to public officials and businesses requires a different, more formal tone.
Businesspeople prefer letters that come right to the point. They want all the
information they need, but nothing more. And they expect to read proper English,
correctly spelled and well presented. To accomplish your goals, use formal writing
when you conduct business.

When you write, think first about your reader. Would it be better to write formally or
informally to that reader?

Which of the following passages would belong in a formal letter?

"Poor old Mrs. Benson. Dragging those grocery bags up 13 flights of

stairs is going to be the death of her. And there's Sam in his wheelchair!
No way he can get to another floor when the elevator's not working."

"Many of our residents are elderly. Those with serious-physical problems

may find climbing many flights of stairs difficult, especially if they are
carrying heavy loads. We also have disabled and wheelchair-bound
residents. Without a working elevator, they are not able to leave their floors."

Reread Jason's story. Does it use formal or informal writing?

Chapter 3
24
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Invite neighbors to a meeting about a neighborhood problem.
Then write a formal complaint to a government office.

1. Pretend you are Jason. The elevator in your tall building is often broken. This
creates many problems for you and your neighbors. Create an informal flyer
about the elevator situation. Or choose another community issue that is
important to you and your neighbors. In the flyer, invite the neighbors to a
meeting to seek a solution. Include at least three reasons why you think that
this is a serious problem. You will need more than one paragraph. Make sure
each paragraph is about just one main idea.

Brainstorming is another way of getting ideasfor writing. You can brainstorm alone,
but the technigue works better with two or more people.

• Write the topic.

• As guickly as possible, list every idea or word about that topic that comes into your
head. Don't stop to think, just list ideas as fast as you can.
• After a few minutes, stop. Review your list. Which ideas do you like best? Organize
and expand those ideas. Discard the rest.

2. Brainstorm with a writing partner about the situation. What problems would it
cause? Write your ideas below.

3. Decide what you want to say in your flyer. Describe the problem, and then
invite your neighbors to the meeting.

Main idea_

Detail___

Detail__

Detail_

Main idea__

Detail__

Detail_

Chapter 3
25
Write
Write your flyer on the lines below. Indent the first line of each new paragraph.

Chapter 3
26
Revise
Reread your flyer. Did you use informal language when you wrote to the neighbors?
Which words or phrases show informality?

Assume that your group decided at the meeting to make an official complaint. Change
your informal flyer into a formal letter of complaint.

1. Plan what you will write.

Beginning:
Tell why you are Purpose:
writing.

Middle:
Explain the issue. Main idea (problem):

Reason:

Reason:

Reason:

End:
Reguest a specific Action reguested:
action.

Thank the reader. Closing:

2. Address your letter to the government official in your area who deals with
your kind of complaint. For example, Jason would write to his local housing
authority. Your teacher or a librarian can help you find the right person.

3. Write your letter on a separate piece of paper. Type it if you can.

• Put your name, address, and the date at the top of the page.
• Then write the name, title, and address of the official.
• Greet the official (for example, "Dear Commissioner Carter:").
• Write your letter. Indent and start a new paragraph when you move to a
new main idea.
• Use transition words I ike "first," "in addition,""as a result," and "for example."
/ These show relationships between your sentences. They can help readers
to follow the sequence of your ideas.
• Close the letter with "Sincerely,"and your name.

Write clearly and convincingly. Use formal language. Be firm, but not angry.

Chapter 3
27
 4. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your letter against this rubric. Decide
together which statement in each row best describes your letter. Circle the
statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Letter's purpose is The purpose is stated, Letter's purpose is not
clearly stated right at but not at the begin¬ stated. No apparent
Purpose/
the beginning. Letter ning. Letter seems to attempt to write to a
Audience
is written directly to its shift audience from one specific audience.
audience. part to another.
Letter ends with clear A request for action is No request for action in
Structure request for a specific present, but it is not the letter.
action. specific.
All details in body of Some unimportant or Letter includes many
Content letter support its unrelated details unrelated, unimportant
purpose. included. details.
Ideas are in logical, Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular
convincing order. confusing. Occasional order. No transition
Organization Transition words show transition words. words. Relationships
relationships between between sentences
sentences. unclear and confusing.
Levels of formality and Inconsistent levels of Levels of formality and
Word Choice politeness fit the formality and politeness. politeness do not fit
audience well. audience.

Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

Produce and Present

Review the checklist on page 93. Make any needed final edits. Be especially careful
when editing business letters if you want to be taken seriously.

Prepare a final copy of your letter to keep in your portfolio.

If you wrote about your own issue, consider sending your letter to the government
official you identified.

Chapter 3
28
 CHAPTER

Forge Your Own Path

Writing Skill:
Questioning
In this story, an admissions counselor put a roadblock in Cynthia's
pathway to college. Many people in her situation might have
become discouraged and given up. But because Cynthia
relied on her own judgment and initiative, she was able
to pursue her dream.

Some people seem to be born with the

ability to make their own way. Others learn
the skill later in life, and still others never seem
to get the knack. It is clear, though, that
people who pay attention to their own
thoughts and judgments are more likely
to lead lives that are pleasing to them
than are the people who depend on
others for their opinions and actions.

This is Cynthia's story.

Chapter 4
29
 "You're Wrong About Me!”
Confused, Cynthia Brooks stared at the dots and out her old journal and browsed through it. She

words on the college admissions test.The counselor winced at the anguished thoughts that she'd
called them analogies. She'd never seen a test like recorded during arguments with her often-absent

this one before. How could analogies tell the mom and during the time when she had lost

university whether she would do well at their custody of her son.

school? Cynthia updated the journal: she'd earned her

Panic grabbed her; she couldn't think. Precious GED, which hadn't been as hard as she'd feared.

seconds slipped away, taking her dreams of college She'd grown confident in her abilities and felt sure

with them. Thirty minutes later, she looked at her that she could do well in college.

awful test results. It was thattestllhe thought made her sit upright.
"I'm sorry," said the counselor, "but our test shows If they had given me the kind of test that I'm used to
that you're not quite ready for college-level work. taking, I'd have done a lot better. Do all admissions
Why don't you study for another year? Then, come offices use that kind of test? She tossed the journal
back and see us." aside and picked up the phone book. She was

Cynthia walked out of the building on shaky legs. going to find out.

Come back in a year? No way! She would never Two weeks later, Cynthia glowed with satisfaction
humiliate herself like that again. The words she'd as she left a different admissions office. She had not
heard all her life replayed in her head. You're stupid. only passed their test and been accepted, but she
You'll never amount to anything. You need to learn had qualified for 100 percent financial aid as well!
your place. She closed her eyes, as she waited at the She wondered how many other people's plans
bus stop, longing for the privacy of home. had been frustrated by their results on that test. She
For days, Cynthia kept busy and tried to forget the was glad that she had paid attention to her own
incident. Then she remembered that writing had thoughts, instead of accepting the counselor's
helped her cope with problems in the past. She dug judgment.

analogies - test questions that compare browsed - skimmed; looked over casually
relationships among words
winced - made a brief movement in pain
precious - of great value
anguished - filled with pain
humiliate - shame or embarrass
incident - brief, unplanned event

Chapter 4
30
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then read the sentences aloud.

1. Cynthia didn't want to___ herself by going there again.

The bullies liked to_the younger boys.

Forcing students to read out loud may_them.

2. She_through the college catalog while she waited.

Many people_through items offered at the garage sale.

I_through the magazines in the library until it closed.

3. Her_thoughts kept her tossing and turning all night.

The puppy let out_cries when her owner left the house.

It's hard to watch the_faces of the family at a funeral.

4. Cynthia was going to study_just to prove she could do them.

_ask you to compare word meanings.

The GED uses no_but college admission tests may include them.

5. Cynthia tried to forget the_in the counselor's office.

That_in the parking lot made us all late.

Were you there when the lunchroom_erupted?

6. The runner_when she sprained her ankle.

She_at the cost of the car repairs.

Rafael __when he got his tetanus shot.

7. Photographs from long ago can be very_.

Is anything more_than a baby's first smile?

To someone who has survived serious illness, every day is_

Chapter 4
31
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Questioning

Rarely do writers' best ideas appear in their first drafts. The brain seems to need
to warm up before it can generate its best thoughts. So don't stop the process after
finishing your first draft; your most important thoughts might be just beginning to rise
to the surface.

One way you can uncover hidden ideas is by questioning. Once you have finished a
first draft, go back through it and think of questions you would like to ask the subject of
the story, such as "Why did you do that?" or "If the same thing happened today, would
you react in the same way?"

For instance, after reading Cynthia's story, you might want an answer to this
question:

How did your mom's frequent absences affect you?

1. Reread Cynthia's story. With a writing partner, think of questions you would
like to ask Cynthia. What information is left out? What else would you like
to know?

2. Gather all the questions that the members of your group or class came
up with. Then think about how you might include some of that additional
information in Cynthia's story. This questioning strategy is a great way to
identify details that would make your writing more interesting to a reader.

Chapter 4
32
 Get Ready to Write

Write a story for a young friend or relative. Tell about a specific time when someone
you know succeeded at a task by relying on his or her own judgment.

1. With a writing partner, brainstorm situations you might write about. In the
space below, write a few words that will help you remember each idea.

2. Choose the one situation that you would most like to share. Write your main
ideas and some supporting thoughts. Then organize these notes. What will
you write about first? Second? Number the ideas in order. Plan to start a new
paragraph whenever you change to a new main idea.

Main idea__

Detail __

Detail_

Detail_

Main idea_

Detail__

Detail_

Detail_

Main idea_

, Detail_

Detail_

Detail

Write
On a separate piece of paper, write your story. In your mind, picture the young person
to whom you are writing. Remember to indent each paragraph.

Chapter 4
33
Revise
Try the questioning technique with the story you just wrote.

1. Read your story to a writing partner or group.

2. Ask listeners to pretend that they are going to interview the subject of your
story. Ask them to make lists of questions they would like to ask. If you are
working alone, make your own list of questions.

3. Share and discuss the lists. How do you think your subject would answer the
questions?

4. In the boxes below, write a few of the questions that interest you most. Then
make notes about how you think your subject might answer.

Question Possible Answer

1 1

2 2

3 3

5. Plan how you will add this new information to your story.

Chapter 4
34
Rewrite your story. Make it more interesting by adding the new details that
you gathered by using the questioning technique.

Chapter 4
 Did brainstorming help you come up with ideas for writing?

Did the questioning technique help you think of interesting details to add to
you story?

Work with a writing partner to evaluate your story against the rubric below.
Decide together which statement in each row best describes your story. Circle
the statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Story is written to Not clear for which Story is inappropriate
Audience appeal to its audience. audience the story is for its audience.
written.
Every main idea has its Some paragraphs contain No clear main ideas in
Structure
own paragraph. more than one main idea. paragraphs.
Story full of interesting Many details, but some Few details; those it has
Content and relevant details, are unimportant or are often unrelated or
reasons, and examples. unrelated. unimportant.
Story moves smoothly Story seems unfocused, Story does not seem
from a clear beginning and direction is to go anywhere.
Organization
to an engaging middle inconsistent.
to a satisfying end.
The story uses specific The story uses common, Vague, overused words
Word Choice nouns and verbs and general, and less make the story seem
colorful adjectives. interesting words. boring.

Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

Produce and Present

First, edit your story, using the checklist on page 93. Then prepare a final copy to keep
in your portfolio.

Stories are fun to share. Here are some ideas:

• Have a storytelling session. Tell your story to the group, and listen to the stories
that your classmates have written.
• Invite an audience to the storytelling session and make it an event!
• Compile the stories into a class book. Make copies for everyone.
• Make a bulletin board display of the stories. Illustrate stories with drawings
or photos.

Chapter 4
36
 CHAPTER

Seek Every Opportunity

Writing Skill:
Interesting Openings
Thomas Edison once said, "Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." LaDonna

Taltoan does not miss opportunities, and she certainly

doesn't avoid hard work; instead, she thrives on
both! She is always looking for opportunities
to improve herself and life for her family.

Where did she get this drive for self-

improvement? LaDonna credits her mom,
who raised ten children and consistently
encouraged them to find opportunities,
work hard, do what was right, and make
something of themselves.

Because of a problem with her school

records when she moved from one
state to another, LaDonna dropped out
of high school after 10th grade. Many
people would have stopped learning at that
point. But LaDonna immediately enrolled
in a cosmetology program and earned her
state license. Still, there was something deep
inside her that yearned to learn more, to
become more. She was determined to earn
her GED and open her own beauty shop.

Never giving up, she struggled for

years before finally meeting these goals.
Her secret? "Seek every opportunity,
and keep moving ahead."

This is LaDonna's story.

i
 “Take Advantage of Every Opportunity."
Over the years, LaDonna tried several GED LaDonna started immediately. She worked hard

programs without success. Something always got in and made slow but steady progress.

the way. Tragically, her fiance was killed, leaving her Soon, she took advantage of another opportunity:
as the single parent of their infant son. Overwhelmed a nursing-assistant's class. A few weeks later,
by her circumstances, LaDonna dropped her studies LaDonna had a new job as a Certified Nursing
and struggled daily just to keep going. Assistant. She worked from 11:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m.

The next year, LaDonna met Robert, who would She got home just in time to get the older children

become her husband. Soon, they had a daughter. off to school, and the others ready to go to school

Since they both worked full-time, LaDonna had with her. It was exhausting, but Robert and Trish

trouble attending her evening GED classes and her kept encouraging her. LaDonna was excited about

tutoring sessions in accounting, a skill she would the future.

need if she were ever to open her own beauty shop. After five years of study, LaDonna became the
Her first GED practice test score was 187, which was proud recipient of her GED and was the top
discouraging because 225 was the passing score. student in her class. She and Robert bought a home,
Still, she attended when she could.Then, the birth of and LaDonna opened her own beauty shop. She is
twins put an end to even thinking about studying. doing home-health nursing on weekends, until her
But one day, opportunity knocked on LaDonna's clientele expands enough to keep the shop open
door. A sweet-faced woman said, "Hi, I'm Trish full-time.
Link from the local literacy program. We offer adult- LaDonna's future dream? Continue learning by
education classes, day care, and a certified going to college and majoring in communication
preschool, too. That way, whole families can study and religion. She wants to help others make
together. May I tell you about our programs?" something of their lives, the way so many people
LaDonna smiled. She threw open the door. have helped her.
"Come on in!"

accounting - keeping track of business immediately - right away; without delay

finances
exhausting - very tiring
discouraging - confidence reducing;
depressing recipient - a person who gets something

certified - officially approved clientele - all of a business's customers

together

Chapter 5
38
Vocabulary Exercise
Write a full sentence to answer each question. Use the vocabulary word that fits best in
each sentence. Then read the sentence aloud.

1. Working, going to school, and taking care of her family all at the same time
was very tiring for LaDonna. What did LaDonna think of her busy life?

2. Sam decided to call the adviser right away. When did he decide to call?

3. Many people take their taxes to an official accountant. What kind

of accountant do they use?

4. The one who wins the award will be given a free trip to the Bahamas.
Who will get the free trip?

5. William's job is keeping track of company finances. In which company

department does he probably work?

6. At prom time, the hairdresser's number of customers almost doubles.

What increases during prom time?

7. Job hunters may get depressed as they look for jobs day after day.
How would they probably describe the experience to others?

Chapter 5
39
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Interesting Openings

Reread the opening on page 37. It begins with a quote that might make readers smile
and attract their interest.

Now reread the first paragraph of LaDonna's story on page 38. It begins with a
problem. The reader might want to see how the problem is solved.

Another good opening for LaDonna's story might have been the disappointing
moment when she read her initial practice test score of 187. A reader might want to
find out how she was able to succeed.

An interesting opening grabs attention and makes readers want to keep reading.

Get Ready to Write

A public tribute is a brief essay of appreciation intended fora wide audience. It might be
delivered as a speech, or it might be printed in a newsletter or other publication.

Think of someone like LaDonna, someone you know and admire who seeks opportunities
and works hard to take advantage of them. Write a public tribute to this person, at least
two or three paragraphs long, describing what he or she has done to earn your respect
and affection. Persuade your reader to appreciate your subject, too.

Chapter 5
40
 1. Brainstorm for five minutes about your subject. What do you admire about
this person? Let your thoughts flow without editing them. As fast as you can,
write words that will remind you of your thoughts. Don’t try to write every¬
thing; just write a few reminder words.

2. Organize your thoughts into two or three paragraphs. Think of specific

examples and details to support each main idea.

Paragraph 1 Main idea_

Detail_

Detail_

Detail_

Paragraph 2 Main idea_

Detail_

Detail __

Detail_

Paragraph 3 Main idea_

Detail__
I

Detail_

Detail _

Write
1. Write the first draft of your tribute on a separate piece of paper.

Chapter 5
41
 2. Reread your tribute. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your tribute.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Writer's admiration Writer describes rather Writer shows lack of
Purpose shines through. than gives reasons for interest in person to
writing a tribute. whom tribute is made.
Every main idea has Some paragraphs No clear main ideas in
its own paragraph and contain more than one paragraphs. Opening is
topic sentence. Writer main idea. Writer has ordinary, and does not
Structure immediately catches tried to make the draw in readers/
reader's attention with opening interesting, listeners.
an interesting opening but it doesn't work
sentence. well.
Tribute is well-focused Focus is fuzzy. Many Tribute is confusing and
and full of interesting details, but some seem hard to follow.
Content
and relevant reasons, unrelated. Few reasons.
details, and examples.
Ideas flow smoothly Idea seguence is OK, Tribute is confusing
Organization
from one to the next. but ideas don't flow. and hard to follow.

Did you circle statements under O/fand Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

Revise
1. Pair up with a writing partner and read your tributes out loud.

2. Have your partner ask you at least three questions about the person in your
tribute. Use the questions to help you think of interesting details to add. Take
notes on the lines below. Then ask your partner questions about his or her
tribute.

3. Reread the openings to your tributes. With your partner, think of more
dramatic or interesting ways to begin. Add these ideas to your notes.

4. With your partner, review your tribute against the rubric above. Write notes
about changes you would like to make.

Chapter 5
42
Rewrite your tribute. Include new ideas that surfaced using the questioning
technique. Add your new opening.

Chapter 5
43
 When you were revising your draft, did the questioning technique help you to
think of new details and reasons?

Work with a writing partner to evaluate your tribute against this rubric. In each
row, circle the statement that best describes your tribute.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Writer's admiration Writer describes rather Writer shows lack of
Purpose shines through. than gives reasons for interest in person to
writing a tribute. whom tribute is made.
Every main idea has Some paragraphs Ideas are jumbled into
its own paragraph and contain more than one paragraphs. Opening is
topic sentence. Writer main idea. Writer has ordinary, and does not
Structure immediately catches tried to make the draw in readers/listeners.
reader's attention with opening interesting,
an interesting opening but it doesn't work
sentence. well.
Tribute is well focused Focus is fuzzy. Many No focus. The tribute
and full of interesting details, but some seem includes few details or
Content
and relevant reasons, unrelated. Few reasons. reasons.
details, and examples.
Ideas flow smoothly Idea sequence is OK, Tribute is confusing
Organization
from one to the next. but ideas don't flow. and hard to follow.
New information fits New ideas have been Very little change from
well into the narrative added, but they aren't original draft.
Revision
flow. combined well with the
earlier draft.

With your writing partner, discuss what you could do to improve your writing.

Produce and Present

Edit your tribute, using the checklist on page 93. Then prepare a final copy to keep in
your portfolio.

Present your tribute:

• When your subject is with you, read the tribute to him or her.
• Send a copy of the tribute to the subject.
• At a gathering that includes the subject, read your tribute aloud.
• Find or take a picture of your subject. Then in a class display, include the picture
with a copy of your tribute.
• Add your tribute to a class book or web page.

Chapter 5
44
 CHAPTER

Go Forward, Despite the Risk

Writing Skill:
Adding Details Using
the Five Ws Arlene Cianelli had to decide whether to borrow thousands of
dollars to go to college. She had hoped to help her family escape
a life of poverty. But when she was asked to sign the loan form,
the sum of money seemed huge! If she borrowed the
money and failed to graduate, her family would
be in much worse financial condition. The
thought frightened her. Should she take
the risk?

At some point, most people face

decisions that involve risk. Some-
times it helps to discuss a difficult
decision with a trusted friend or
counselor. Just describing the
situation to someone else can
clarify it for the speaker. But in the
end, decisions come down to
\ whetherthe possible benefit
is worth the risk. Remember,
opportunities often present
themselves as risks.

This is Arlene's story.

Chapter 6
45
 I Don’t Know If I Can Do This'."
Arlene stared at the figure on the bank loan Arlene met her first goal of getting her GED. But

form. To her, it was an overwhelming amount of to go to college she would have to borrow money.

money. Should she sign the bank note? Signing She was 23. Would she be able to compete for

would commit her and her husband to repaying grades against younger high-school graduates?

what could become a lifetime debt. The loan would have to be repaid even if she

Arlene was raised in a blue-collar coal-mining failed. Her finances could become worse than

town near Pittsburgh, PA. At 15, she dropped out they already were.

of high school to get married. The girls she knew Something her son's school counselor said kept

married right after high-school graduation, but she running through Arlene's mind: "Education is the

hadn't seen any reason to wait that long. After all, best investment you can make. You're investing

she was mature for her age. She had been taking in yourself, your future, and your family's future."

care of her three younger siblings for years, while Borrowing money was the only path Arlene could

her parents worked. see out of poverty. It was a risk, a big risk, but one

Arlene soon learned the value of the education she felt she had to take. She signed on the line

she'd given up so easily. Without a diploma, she labeled "Debtor."

was stuck in minimum-wage work. Despite her Arlene completed her two-year business
husband's job and her part-time position, making program, but she didn't stop there. Her goals
ends meet was impossible. She could afford to feed expanded, and she went on to finish a four-year
her children only meatless spaghetti and scrambled business degree!
eggs. The family's clothes were worn out from long Arlene Cianelli is now the technology coordinator
and hard use. Arlene dreamed of escaping poverty. for a large literacy council. She helps adults earn
She wanted a better life for her children. GEDs and become comfortable with computers. As
So she came up with a plan: she would earn a a GED graduate herself, Arlene has great credibility
GED, get a two-year degree in business, and become with her students. The delayed education that she
a bank teller. Family-friendly hours, decent pay, and once considered a liability has become a great
good benefits attracted her to this occupation. asset.

blue-collar - describes work, often manual, debtor - a person who borrows money
that requires work clothes and must pay it back
siblings - brothers and sisters credibility - believability; acceptance as
poverty - the state of being poor being honest or true

investment - money or time spent in hope liability - disadvantage or barrier

that it may pay off in the future asset - something positive that has value

Chapter 6
46
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.

1. People who didn't pay their bills used to be sent to_ _'s prisons.

His first experience as a__ came when he bought a new car.

A debtor is

2. _workers used to wear blue work shirts.

White-collar workers have office jobs, while_workers do physical work.

Blue-collar means_

3. Much of the world's population lives in_.

Families below the_line struggle to make ends meet.

Poverty is __

4. Reading to your children every day is an_in education.

If you had extra money, would you make an_in stocks and bonds?

An investment is

5. Lack of a high-school diploma is a _for job hunters.

Sophia's mother spoke very little English. That was her biggest_

A liability is_

6. The woman and her 12_lived in a two-room cabin.

A middle child has at least one older and at least one younger_

A sibling is_

7. A good education is a great_.

Caring deeply for others is an_for nurses.

An asset is _

8. Arlene's past struggles gave her great_with her students.

Mike's vague answers to our questions did not give_to his story.

Credibility is_

Chapter 6
47
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Shill: Adding Details Using the Five Ws

In Chapter 4, you used questions to help you think of interesting details to add to your
writing. In this chapter, you'll focus that questioning strategy more tightly. Newspaper
reporters call these questions the "five Ws": Who? What? When? Where? Why? (and
sometimes, How?). Reporters use the five Ws to collect details for their stories.

Get Ready to Write

Write a letter to a friend or mentor. Inform your reader about a risky

decision that you or someone you know well has made.

1. For five minutes, brainstorm a list of difficult or risky decisions that have been
made by you or someone you know well. Write the ideas below as fast as you
can think of them.

2. Pick an interesting idea that you are willing to share. Write one sentence
describing the decision that was made and why it seems risky to you.

Chapter 6
48
 3. In the columns below, list your reasons for and against the decision.

For Against

4. How could you organize two or three paragraphs about this decision?
Complete an idea web to plan your letter.

On a separate piece of paper, write to your friend or mentor about the decision. Base
the letter on your list of reasons for and against, and include information from the idea
web you made.

Chapter 6
49
Reread your letter.Then evaluate it against the rubric below. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your letter.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Every main idea has its Some paragraphs contain No clear main ideas in
Structure own paragraph and topic more than one main idea. paragraphs.
sentence.
Letter presents specific Reasons for and against Few details. Hard to
details and clear reasons the decision are follow the reasons for
Content presented, but not and against the decision.
for and against the
decision. clearly. Some details.

Ideas are in logical, Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular order.

convincing order. Ideas confusing. Parts of the Ideas do not flow. Writer
flow smoothly from one letter flow well, but other does not use transition
Organization parts are jerky. Writer words.
to the next. Writer uses
transition words well. could make better use of
transition words.

Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in the
same row to see how to improve your writing.

Revise
Extend your letter by answering the five W questions. Work with a writing partner.

1. Read your letter aloud to the partner.

2. Ask your partner to think like a newspaper writer, and ask several five W
questions about your letter. What details have been left out? What else might
a reader want to know? Write the questions below.

Wh_?

Wh_?

Wh_?

Wh_?

Wh __?

H_?

3. Choose one or two of the questions that interest you the most. Write notes
about your answers. Where in your letter will you put this new information?

Chapter 6
50
4. Revise your letter to include the additional details and any changes that you
made after working with the rubric.

Chapter 6
51
 5. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your letter against this rubric. Decide
together which statement in each row best describes your letter. Circle the
statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Audience is clear. Level Audience is somewhat Not clear that the writer
Audience of formality is right for clear, but not always has a specific audience
the audience. consistent. in mind.
Every main idea has Some paragraphs No clear main ideas in
Structure its own paragraph and contain more than paragraphs.
topic sentence. one main idea.
Letter presents specific Reasons for and against Few details. Hard to
details and clear reasons the decision are follow the reasons for
Content
for and against the presented, but not and against the
decision. clearly. Some details. decision.
Ideas are in logical, Idea sequence is a little Ideas in no particular
convincing order. Ideas confusing. Parts of the order. Ideas do not flow.
flow smoothly from one letter flow well, but Writer does not use
Organization to the next. Writer uses other parts are jerky. transition words.
transition words well. Writer could make
better use of transition
words.
New information fits New ideas have been Very little change from
well into the narrative added, but they aren't original draft.
Revision
flow. combined well with the
earlier draft.

6. Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

7. With your partner, review the Editing Checklist on page 93. Edit your letter, as
needed. Check especially for the following:

• agreement between subjects and verbs (Singular subject gets a singular

verb; plural subject gets a plural verb.)
• consistent verb tenses (present, past, future)
• pronouns that clearly refer to someone or something

Produce and Present

Prepare a final version of your letter for your portfolio.

Chapter 6
52
 CHAPTER

Find the Support You Need

Writing Skill:
Adding Sensory Details
How many people start GED studies but get discouraged and
quit? "I tried, but I couldn't do it," they say.

This could easily have happened to WennikWatson,

an Onondaga Native American. She had given up
before. She studied with an Even Start tutor but
didn't manage to stick with it.

Then, she re-enrolled. She still wanted

to complete her GED. The problem? The
writing test. She'd taken it twice but
hadn't passed it.

This third time, Wennik graduated.

Why? This time, Wennik found the right
support.

Everyone needs support at one

time or another. Finding it can make
the difference between success and
failure.

This is Wennik's story.

c m

Chapter 7
53
 "I Wouldn’t Have Finished Without Them.’’
Wennik's hands trembled as she opened the GED then went to a foster home. Also, she was diagnosed

Testing Service letter. Had she passed the writing test as being seriously depressed.

she'd taken for the second time? At the age of 16, Wennik quit school to have a baby.

Not Pass. Wennik read the words, let out a long She got a job working with Alzheimer's patients and

sigh, and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was found that she liked helping people. But with low

more disappointed for herself or for the teacher, skills, she had trouble completing patients'charts. She

friends, and family who had been helping her. But also needed a diploma to advance in her work.

she was not going to let them down. Then, Wennik discovered the Even Start Family
She called her teacher, Pattie. "I'm disappointed, Literacy program. Her first teacher was helpful, but
but I'm not done," she said firmly. Wennik doubled the bond between them wasn't strong enough to
her homework time. She took her writing keep Wennik in the program. After a move to another
assignments to work, where her co-workers could town, she tried again. This time, she met Pattie. Pattie
help her. Although not an eager reader, she read was so cheerful and encouraging that their study
a book on writing. She met more often with sessions became enjoyable and productive. In little
Pattie. Repeatedly, they reviewed grammar and more than two years with Pattie, Wennik's language
punctuation. Wennik wrote essay after essay. score rose from the third-grade level to GED level.

Learning had always been a problem for Wennik. She passed her writing test on the third try!

Her single mom had worked several jobs to support Now, education is a priority in Wennik's home. Her
the family, so Wennik learned no preschool skills children do well in school, and Wennik is on the
at home. In school, her skills were so low she felt School Improvement Team at their school.
embarrassed. Learning Support classes helped, but Without Pattie's motivation and the strong support
she still hated school. Wennik skipped classes, got in of others, Wennik says that these wonderful changes
lots of trouble, ended up in a detention center, and in her life would not have occurred.

Vocabulary

trembled - shook diagnosed - recognized as having a

eager - enthusiastic; impatient to do disease or condition

repeatedly - over and over Alzheimer's - degenerative disease of

the central nervous system
embarrassed - uncomfortable or
ashamed
productive - giving good results

Chapter 7
54
Vocabulary Exercises
Read the two sentences aloud. Circle the one that makes more sense.

1. He embarrassed the kitchen. or He was productive on that job.

2. Her legs diagnosed on the diving board. or Her legs trembled on the diving board

3. She was an eager student. or She was a repeatedly student.

4. Elisa's father has Alzheimer's. or Her husband has eager.

5. The doctor trembled Elisa's father. or The doctor diagnosed the problem.

6 Angelo was late repeatedly. or Angelo got Alzheimer's lost.

7. 1 was embarrassed by his language. or 1 was productive by his language.

Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence.Then read the sentences aloud.

8. What happened when Yan went to the doctor?

He was_with the chicken pox.

9. What happened to the building during the earthquake?

The building_and some windows broke.

10. Was Paul excited about his new car?

He sure was! He was one very_driver!

11. Did the new father visit his baby often?

Oh yes, he visited his wife and baby_.

12. How did Katya feel after her presentation?

She felt_about her mistake.

13. What is Dr. Han's research area?

He studies elderly_patients and is working to find a cure.

14. What kind of a week did Fran have?

She had a very_week.

Chapter 7
55
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Adding Sensory Details

Make your writing come alive by including sensory details—details related to the
senses of hearing, smell, sight, touch, and taste. Here's an example. Which of the
following passages makes you really feel the writer's fear?

"The big dog growled and started chasing me. I ran as fast as I could."

"The big dog showed his yellow fangs, snarled deep in his chest, and raced
towards me. As I fled, I heard his snapping jaws and pounding feet behind
me, gaining every second."

Write at least four words from the second passage that tell what the writer heard
or saw:

Use details like these to engage your reader's senses.

Stories are usually told in time order. What happened first? What happened second?
Then what happened? A story time line like the diagram below can help you organize
what you want to say in a story.

Chapter 7
56
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Tell an exciting story to a child or a friend.

Think of a time when you felt great emotion. Perhaps you were extremely happy or
terrified or shocked, etc. You are going to tell a story about why you felt that way. You'll
tell, or narrate, the story to a child or a friend.

1. Brainstorm possible stories. Then select the best one to tell a child or your
friend.

2. Think about specific events in the story. What happened first? Second? Third?
Put the main events into a story time line in the boxes below. If you need
more boxes, use another piece of paper.

3. Search your memory for details of what you saw, heard, smelled, tasted, or
touched in each part of the story. Make notes about those details.

Sights Sounds Smells Tastes Textures

4. Number the sensory details to show where they fit in the story. Use the
numbers of the boxes in the story time line.

5. Think about how you can move from one part of the story to the next. You will
need to use transition words to lead readers through the events smoothly.
Transition words that show time order include these:

fifst during when

next before as soon as
then soon meanwhile
later until

6. You will need several paragraphs to tell your story. Remember to write each
paragraph around one main event or point and to start a new paragraph
when you change to a new point or event.

Chapter 7
57
m w r # $

Write
1. Write your story on another piece of paper.

2. Review your first draft, using the rubric below. In each row, circle the
statement that best fits your story.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Story is written to Not clear for which Story is inappropriate for
Audience appeal to its audience. audience the story is its audience.
written.
Well-structured story Opening does not grab Events have no clear
Structure with a clear beginning, reader's attention. beginning or ending.
middle, and ending. Ending feels incomplete.
Story is full of specific The writer includes The story has few
sensory details that many details, but they details; those it does
Content
bring the experience don't convey the have do not engage
to life. emotional content. the reader.
Story moves smoothly Sometimes hard to Story does not flow.
from an interesting follow time sequence. Time sequence seems
Organization beginning to an to jump around.
engaging middle
to a satisfying end.
The story uses specific The story uses common, Vague, overused words
Word Choice nouns and verbs, and general, and less make the story seem
colorful adjectives. interesting words. boring.

3. Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

Revise
1. Tell your story to a writing partner. Ask your partner whether he or she
understood the sequence of events. Do you need to reorder any parts
of your story? If so, make notes on the first draft.

2. Talk with your partner about the sensory details that you have included.
Can you think of any words that would describe them in a stronger way?
Make notes about wording that would improve your story.

3. Use one of the questioning techniques (page 32 or page 34) to identify details
that would make the story better. On your first draft, make notes about details
you want to add.

Chapter 7
58
4. Write a final draft of your story. Make sure it flows smoothly in time order and
brings the experience to life with sensory details.

Chapter 7
59
 5. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your story against this rubric. Decide
together which statement in each row best describes your story. Circle the
statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Story is written to Not clear for which Story is inappropriate
Audience appeal to its audience. audience the story is for its audience.
written.
Well structured story Opening does not grab Events have no clear
Structure with a clear beginning, reader's attention. beginning or ending.
middle, and ending. Ending feels incomplete.
Story is full of specific The writer includes The story has few
sensory details that many details, but they details; those it does
Content
bring the experience don't convey the have do not engage
to life. emotional content. the reader.
Story moves smoothly Sometimes hard to Story does not flow.
from an interesting follow time sequence. Time sequence seems
Organization beginning to an to jump around.
engaging middle to
a satisfying end.
The story uses specific The story uses common, Vague, overused words
Word Choice nouns and verbs and general, and less make the story seem
colorful adjectives. interesting words. boring.
New information New information not Very little change in
improves the story and combined well with the revised story. Changes
Revision
is smoothly combined story. stand out.
with original draft.

Discuss with your writing partner what you could do to improve your rating.

With your writing partner, check your revised story against the Editing
Checklist on page 93. Make necessary edits to the story.

Produce and Present

Prepare a final copy of the story for your portfolio.

Stories are fun to share. Try one or more of these ideas:

• Illustrate your story and give it to a child or a friend.

• Put your illustrated story on a poster and display it.
• Create a class book of stories. Give copies to class members.
• Have a class storytelling session. Invite families and friends.

Chapter 7
60
 CHAPTER

'% ■ ,

Writing Skill:
Keep a Positive Outlook
Summarizing
Daniel Juarez thought he had good reasons for not completing
his high-school education. But when events forced him to return
to school, Daniel realized his reasons had really just been
excuses.

Once he returned to the classroom,

Daniel learned a lot more than English and
math. He learned that if he was willing to
work hard, he could make his dream come
true. He learned that he was not very likely
to get what he wanted in life by thinking,
This is too hard. I just can't do it.
Daniel's experiences with school changed
his whole outlook on life. He now believes
in himself. He knows that if he sets a goal, he
can reach it."Anything is possible," he says,"if
you stay focused and don't give up. It won't
be easy, but if you keep a positive outlook,
you can make it happen. No one can do it for
you. You must do it by yourself, for yourself."

This is Daniel's story.

Chapter 8
61
 “No Excuses!”
Daniel Juarez dropped out of his high school the money,"he told Laurie."And I'd never be home at

in Mexico to come to the United States. He night with my family." But Laurie knew Daniel had

often thought about completing his high-school always wanted to be a chef. She convinced him to
education, but soon he was very busy with a tour a nearby culinary arts program at a community
full-time restaurant job and a young family. There college.
just didn't seem to be time for school. Daniel visited the college and completed
All that changed one night when he told his boys financial aid forms. A few weeks later, he was
to do their homework. One asked,"Why do I need to admitted to the program and received a grant that
go to school? You didn't finish." would pay for all of his expenses!

Daniel was crushed. Was he a bad influence on He was going to be a chef! Daniel felt fortunate
his sons?That night, he tossed and turned in bed. that his excuses hadn't stood in his way. His family

The next day, Daniel signed up for evening was thrilled for him and very proud of his

classes, which he attended every night for months. accomplishment.

He was tired both working and going to school, but Attending college and working at the same time
he wanted to succeed for his sons. Over time, was arduous. Sometimes, he was so exhausted that
Daniel's English improved enormously, and he tears would roll down his face as he drove from work
earned his GED! to classes. But he wouldn't quit. I can do this. I just
When Daniel stopped to thank his teacher, have to keep telling myself that.
Laurie, for her help, she said, "You can't stop now. Now, Daniel visits other classes to share his
You have too much potential!" positive outlook and to give others hope. "If you
College had never crossed his mind. He was ready want something, it's up to you to make it happen.
for a break from his hectic schedule. "I don't have No excuses!"

SSaKC;-

influence - a person that has an effect fortunate - lucky

on another person
> arduous - difficult; hard
enormously - in a big way
positive - confident; optimistic;
potential - ability not yet used encouraging
hectic - very busy

Chapter 8
62
Vocabulary Exercises
Circle the correct word.

1. If you haven't had a chance to sit down all day, is your schedule hectic or potential?

2. Does Daniel find his working/studying life arduous or influence?

3. Is Daniel's attitude in life arduous or positive?

4. Will Daniel's job opportunities grow hectic or enormously?

5. Would you say Daniel has potential in his field or fortunate in his field?

6. Did Daniel feel fortunate or enormously when he began chef's training?

7. Does Daniel want to be an influence on others, or does he want to be a positive on them?

To answer each question, write a full sentence using an appropriate vocabulary word.
Then read the sentences aloud.

8. How would you describe your busy schedule?_

9. What is it like to work and go to school at the same time?_

10. How would you describe your attitude? __

11. Have your reading skills improved a great deal? __

12. Would you be able to do well in a culinary arts program?_

13. 'When do you feel lucky?

14. In what way would you like to affect how someone thinks?

Chapter 8
63
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Summarizing

So far, the chapters in this book have encouraged you to increase the amount of
information in your writing: Add details! Explain more fully!

However, this chapter will require you to write less, to summarize a story. A good
summary includes the main points in each section of the original work. It combines
these ideas in a way that makes sense but that is much shorter than the original.

Here is an example. First, reread Richard's story on page 14. Now, read this summary of
his story. Does it cover all the most important ideas?

As a child, Richard hated school. He dropped out before he graduated from

high school. Although he found a good job, he had many problems, including
trouble with alcohol and drugs.

Richard went into a treatment program and realized that he wanted to read
and write better. So he entered a literacy program, where his learning difficulty was
diagnosed. Knowing what the problem was, he was able to figure out learning
methods that worked for him.

With encouragement from his teacher, Richard overcame his fear of school
and went to college. It was hard, but, in time, he graduated.Today, he teaches and
counsels people with learning disabilities.

Chapter 8
64
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Summarize Daniel s story, as if you were going to include a short article about him in a newsletter.

Write three short paragraphs—first a beginning, then the middle, and finally
a conclusion. Each paragraph should have three or fewer sentences.

1. Identify no more than ten of the most important ideas from Daniel's story. An
idea may be stated in one sentence, or it may be expressed in several sentences.
Write your list of the most important ideas below, using your own words.

2. Compare your list with the lists of your group or writing partner. Be ready to
explain why you chose the ideas on your list. Discuss the lists as a group.
Agree on the most important ideas in the story. Write them below.

3. Put a 1 beside the ideas that you will include in your beginning paragraph. Put
a 2 beside the ideas that you will put into the middle paragraph. Then put a 3
beside the ideas that belong in the last paragraph.

Chapter 8
65
Write
1. Write your three-paragraph summary.

• Use your own words. Don't copy sentences from the story.
• Try to capture the overall meaning, not specific details.
• Make sure the summary has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
• Use transition words to make the summary flow smoothly.

Chapter 8
66
 2. Read your summary aloud to the group. Listen to the summaries that others
wrote.

• Which summary includes all the most important ideas in the smallest
space?
• Which summary sounds most natural? Why?

Revise
Decisions about what to include in a summary and what to omit from a summary can
be difficult. The shorter the summary, the more difficult the decisions become.

1. Rewrite your three-paragraph summary into a five-sentence summary. The

summary must still make sense, even though it will contain only some of the
story's main ideas. Be sure each sentence is complete.

4-

Chapter 8
67
 2. Evaluate each of your summaries against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your work. Use different colors for the two
summaries.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Structure— Three paragraphs, each More paragraphs or Writer does not follow
Original no more than three more sentences than assignment guidelines.
Summary sentences long. specified.
Structure— One paragraph of five More sentences than Writer does not follow
Revised sentences. specified. assignment guidelines.
Summary
Summary covers overall Summary picks up Summary is made up of
Content meaning of story. good details, but overall unrelated details. Overall
meaning is not clear. meaning is lost.
Summary flows smoothly Flow is interrupted. Summary does not flow.
from beginning to end. Events are strung Hard to understand
Organization
together without sequence.
transition words.
Writer uses own words Some important Critical information has
to condense the story information is still in been lost in the
Word Choice
without losing critical original author's words. summary. Writer does
information. not use own words.

Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

3. As a group, review the original and revised summaries written by all class
members.

• Read the original summaries aloud. Which ones sound best? Look at
those summaries carefully. How did the writers make them flow so well?
• Look for the shortest summaries. Did they include all the important
ideas? If so, how did the writers make them so short?
• Look at the revised, five-sentence summaries. When a summary is this
short, important details must be left out. Which ideas survived? Did
everyone keep the same details?

Produce and Present

Make final copies of both summaries to put in your portfolio.

Chapter 8
68
 CHAPTER

The Power of Education

Writing Skill:
Sequencing
Ramona Linan and her 12 family members had always worked
in the fields. Fieldwork wasn't a bad way to make a living, but
Ramona wanted her daughters to have choices in life. How could
she make that happen?

Things began to change when Ramona

enrolled in an English class.This proved to be
an exhausting undertaking, since she had
to clean offices all night in order to
attend classes during the day. And she
was also a single mom caring for two
little girls.

But Ramona was persistent.

Not only did she improve her
' English, but she also earned her
GED. However, she realized that
she needed more education to
get the kind of job that would
earn a good living for her family.
But college? Never had she even
considered such a thing.

Ramona's desire for education

■ would bring about miracles in
her family's life, a perfect example
of the power of education.

This is Ramona's story.

Chapter 9
 "My Children Will Have a Better LifeV
Putting her young daughter to bed one night, education to get a job that would support her family.
Ramona Linan was dismayed to hear, "Mama, Cathy Jo wanted Ramona to go on a tour of a
cuando yo sea grande, yo quiero trabajar en el nearby community college. Even thinking of college
campo como tu y mi abuelita."(Mommy, when I am was scary for Ramona because she had completed
older, I want to work in the fields like you and my only six years of formal schooling. But the tour
grandmother.) These words rang over and over in turned out to be the doorway to a dream. How had
Ramona's mind. she forgotten her childhood desire to become a
Ramona wanted more options for her girls. nurse? Knowing that she would still have to work
The only way she knew to begin was to enroll in full-time, Ramona estimated that it would take ten
English classes. years for her to become a registered nurse.

Even though her husband, Jaime, disapproved, She enrolled in a "bridge class," which helped her

Ramona was determined to build a future for her make the transition to college. The counselors and

girls. That winter, she started school. She loved her teachers were encouraging. Ten years later, Ramona

classes, but the fieldwork season soon approached. reached her goal! She graduated with a nursing
Her teacher, Cathy Jo, helped Ramona find a night¬ degree and began to work in a rehabilitation center.

time cleaning job so she could earn money and still Was it worth it? Two miracles in her family life
keep her days free for classes. However, Ramona had answer that question. First, her daughters are
separated from her husband. He had begun using college bound, and one decided that she wanted
drugs and was eventually jailed. This meant Ramona to become a doctor! And second, Ramona and
was now a single parent, working full-time and her husband got back together. He earned a
going to school. Life was exhausting. college degree in sociology, and he now works with

Nevertheless, Ramona studied hard. Within a year, troubled youths. Ramona was thrilled to have been

she passed the Spanish version of the GED test. such an inspiration to her family!

However, she realized that she would need more Education can transform lives.

Vocabulary

dismayed - not sure how to deal with transition - change; the passage from
something; upset one stage to another
options - choices rehabilitation - restoring to good health
nevertheless - in spite of that inspiration - courageous example
estimated - made a careful guess or influence

Chapter 9
70
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.

1. It can be hard to make the__from high school to college.

The city girl enjoyed making the_to country life.

Transition means_

2. Accident victims often have to go to _centers for physical therapy.

Ramona became a nurse in a_ facility.

Rehabilitation means__

3. Ramonas hard workwas an___to her family.

Mrs. Cena looked to her grandmother for __.

Inspiration means_

4. Ramona was always tired._, she studied hard.

Touring the campus was scary for Ramona._, she did it.

Nevertheless means__

5. An artist has more career_in a city than in a small town.

Having a GED or high-school diploma will increase your job_

Options are_

6. The driver_ that the trip would take eight hours.

The policeman _ _that the car skidded for about 100 feet.

Estimated means

7. The father was _ _at the sight of his daughter's messy room.

I was_ when I heard about the accident.

Dismayed means

Chapter 9
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Sequencing

When you write, your sentences are always in some order. But if you don't think about
sequence, the order that you use may not make sense or may be less effective than it
could be.

Sometimes you need to sequence carefully, to organize your sentences in the most
effective order for a particular purpose. Here are a few of the many sequencing
options. When might you use each one?

• time order (yesterday, today, tomorrow)

• order of importance (most to least important, least to most important)
• location order (on the left, in the middle, on the right)
• order of difficulty (easiest to hardest; hardest to easiest)
• order by category (group 1, group 2, etc.)
• order by cost (least to most expensive, most to least expensive)

Reread Ramona's story. What order is used in this story?

Get Ready to Write

Sometimes, people can't attend formal classes. Create a flyer that reminds people
of informal ways they can learn in their everyday lives.

Chapter 9
72
 Knowledge and education can be powerful pathways to a person's dreams. Even
when people cant attend classes, there are still many ways for them to educate
themselves.

1. With a writing partner or with the class as a whole, brainstorm a list of

learning activities that do not involve formal classes.

2. From the list, choose at least six of your favorite ideas.

Write
Write two paragraphs about your list of ideas.

Chapter 9
73
Revise
Create a flyer that might convince community members to use some of your suggestions.

1. Share the paragraphs you wrote with your partner or class.

2. With your partner or class, make a master list of ideas.

3. Where will you send your flyer? Choose a specific community audience.

4. On your own, select ideas from the master list that you will use in your flyer.
Keep your community audience in mind as you choose. What would be most
helpful to those readers?

5. How will you sequence your ideas? Choose the method which will make your flyer the most persuasive to its
readers. Here are some suggestions. You may think of others.

• most important ideas first, then less important ones

• easier strategies first, then harder ones
• free activities first, then ones that cost money
• activities in the home first, then activities outside the home
• activities for parents, then activities for people without children
• summer activities first, then ideas for winter or bad weather

List your ideas, using the sequencing method you have chosen.

1. 4.

2. _______ 5_

3. __ ._ __ 6_

6. Write a title and a one- or two-sentence introduction for your flyer.

7. Write a one- or two-sentence conclusion for your flyer.

Chapter 9
74
8. Write your flyer.

Chapter 9
75
 9. Reread your flyer. Then, evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your flyer.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

The flyer will be very Not clear which specific Flyer doesn't seem to
useful to its specific part of the community be designed for any
Audience
audience. the flyer is meant to particular audience.
help.
Interesting ideas that Idea choice is OK, but Ideas are not well
Content make sense for the could be a better fit for matched to audience.
audience. audience.
Idea sequence is Sequence of ideas is OK. Ideas aren't in any
Organization effective and fits the particular order.
specific audience.
No errors in spelling, Few errors in spelling, Many errors in
Mechanics grammar, punctuation, grammar, punctuation, mechanics.
or capitalization. or capitalization.

Did you circle statements under O/Cand Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.

10. Pass around the flyers that members of the class have produced.

• Compare the ways in which flyers are organized. How many different
sequencing methods were used? Ask writers why they chose their
specific methods.
• Identify the parts of the flyers that are most effective. What makes those
parts work so well?

Produce and Present

Make a final copy of your flyer to put in your portfolio.

Create a class flyer by combining the best ideas from all of the flyers.

• Choose the most effective sequencing method.

• Think about where to put each idea or group of ideas on the flyer page.
• Type the information, or have someone with excellent handwriting write it.
• Edit carefully for correct spelling and grammar.
• Then, make copies and distribute them in your community.

Chapter 9
76
 Find Work You Love
Tom Henneman was a drug and alcohol addict for most of his life.
As he got older, he no longer cared whether he lived or died.Then

the kind words of a stranger made him want to change. But would
he be able to?

Many times during Tom's recovery, he felt like giving up.

The effort to stay strong was harder than anything he'd
KR ev^r done. What kept him going? There were two things.
Tom had newfound religious faith. He also had a new goal,
something he wanted more than anything else in his
entire life.

He wanted to become a drug and alcohol

counselor. If he shared the details of his troubled past
with others, then perhaps they would make wiser choices
than he had made. He couldn't wait to get to work.

This is Tom's story.

Chapter 10
 “It's the Only Way My Life Makes Sense."
"Come on, buddy, into the car,"said the cop, as he Tom enrolled in an adult education class. But on

pulled the drunk up off the alley pavement. the night of the first class, he was almost too scared
to go through the door. I'll just make a fool of myself!
As they rode, the policeman said something to
Tom that changed his life. "You seem like a nice guy.
I'm crazy to go back to the classroom! But his dream—
and his life—depended upon it.
Do you suppose you need some help?"

Tom was tired of destroying his body. He was Tom's fears soon eased.The teachers and students

tired of having no permanent home. He'd been welcomed him. No one looked down on him for his

wandering since he'd left home at 16. The truth was past. Best of all,Tom found that he loved learning! In

that Tom no longer cared if he lived or died. high school, his grades had been mediocre. Now,
he worked hard and did well.Tom's progress made it
The next day,Tom entered a residential treatment
easier to avoid drugs and drinking. Every day it
facility. For one month, he went to meetings and
became clearer that his goal was attainable.
unburdened his heart by writing in a journal. He
wrote about growing up as one of 12 children.There Tom did become a drug and alcohol counselor!

had been a lot of drinking in his house. He also wrote Many of the troubled teens with whom he now

of his embarrassment at not having a high-school works are sullen or defiant. But some of them thank

diploma. His first step toward recovery would be to Tom after listening to his story. Tom knows that he

get that diploma. Then Tom had an inspiration: has made them aware of the choices that they are

Perhaps he could become a drug and alcohol making in their own lives.

counselor. Helping others to avoid his mistakes Tom is living his dream. He says that without his
would make his life make sense. faith and the goal of helping people, he would not
But first, he had to stay sober. Each clean day was have been able to make such progress in his life. By
a victory. His faith and his goal propelled him helping to save the lives of others, he has also saved
through those first long and hard months. his own.

unburdened - freed from a heavy load attainable - possible to get or

accomplish
inspiration - brilliant, surprising idea
propelled - pushed forward as if driven sullen - showing anger by refusing to
speak
mediocre - not very good, but not
terrible
defiant - angrily refusing to obey; ready
to fight

Chapter 10
78
Vocabulary Exercises
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then read the sentences aloud.

1. The teenager became silent and when his mother wouldn't buy him

the sneakers that he wanted.

2. The woman her mind by talking to her sister.

3. Mia couldn't think of a solution, but then she had an

4. Her Spanish was just _so she couldn't understand what he said.

5. His goal would be only if he first passed his GED.

6. The girl stomped out of the room and slammed the door.

7. The baby himself across the room by rolling over and over.

Write the vocabulary word that makes sense in each sentence. Then read the
sentences aloud.

8. An employee who does just enough to get by is considered worker.

(defiant / mediocre)

9. was forward by the crowd that was trying to see the movie star.
(propelled / unburdened)

10. When her parents said no to her request, she became

(sullen / mediocre)

11. Marta had a sudden . Now she knew what to do!

(attainable / inspiration)

12. The_ _man yelled at the crowd and raised his fist.
(defiant / sullen)

13. Tom his mind by writing in his journal.

(propelled / unburdened)

14. The counselor showed him that his goals were

(attainable / inspiration)

Chapter 10
79
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Shill: Writing Essays

Just as a good story has a beginning, a middle part, and an end, an essay needs an
introduction, a body, and a conclusion.

The introduction tells the reader about your topic and may mention your main
ideas. For example:

Because I am a city girl, one of my favorite weekend activities is taking

long walks in the country. It's a whole new world for me to explore. And being
surrounded by the sights and sounds of nature, even for a short time, brings
me a kind of peace I don't experience in the busy rush of city life.

Body paragraphs contain the essay's main ideas and the details that support them.
The introduction above leads the reader to expect two body paragraphs. The first
paragraph would explain the "new world" the author finds on her walks. The
second paragraph would discuss the peaceful feeling that she gets when she is in the
countryside. See pages 5-12 to review how body paragraphs should be constructed.

Instead of stopping suddenly at the end of the last body paragraph, an essay is
brought to a close by a conclusion.The conclusion can be a summary of major points,
or it can make a final statement that emphasizes the writer's viewpoint. For example:

After a one- or two-hour country walk, I retdrn to the city totally

content. The exercise has revived me, and I'm excited about what I've seen in the
natural world. My spirit is refreshed because the strange sights and sounds have
pushed away my daily worries. For me, nature's paths bring peace.

Chapter 10
80
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
In essay form, describe a favorite activity to an adviser or a mentor.

Tom was able to change his life because he found work that he really wanted to do.
At first, Tom didn t have the skills and the training that he needed to do the job. But
because his goal meant so much to him, he was able to stay focused and get the
training and the skills that he lacked.

What kind of work would you like to do? 1 hink of a moment when you’ve been so busy
with an activity that time just flew by. When you looked at the clock, you thought,
"Where did the time go?" Could you turn a favorite activity into satisfying work?

1. Make a list of activities that you really enjoy or are eager to try. If possible,
discuss your list with classmates or friends. Do they help you think of
more ideas?

2. Choose one activity from your list. Use the chart to list specific details that
describe this activity and why it interests you.

Activity:

Who What Where When Why How

Chapter 10
81
 3. Decide how to organize your thoughts for the essay. In the space below,
make an idea map or group ideas by paragraph (list all the ideas for the
first paragraph, then all the ideas for the second paragraph, etc.). Plan two
to four body paragraphs. Don't worry about the introduction or conclusion
at this time.

Write
1. Write two to four body paragraphs describing the activity to a mentor or an
adviser.

Chapter 10
82
Reread your body paragraphs. Then evaluate them against this rubric. In each
row, circle the statement that best describes your paragraphs.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Ideas organized into Ideas are good, but not Ideas are poorly
effective paragraphs. well organized. Each organized. No clear
Structure
Each presents its main paragraph has one main main ideas in
idea in a topic sentence. idea; no topic sentences. paragraphs.
Interesting and specific Paragraph details could Details often unrelated
Content details support each be more specific and to main points.
main idea. interesting.
Moves smoothly from Some transitions are Transitions between
Organization paragraph to paragraph. awkward. paragraphs are poor or
missing.
Writer uses specific, Words are appropriate Writer chooses obvious
interesting words for the audience, but and overused words.
Word Choice
appropriate for an not very interesting. Some words do not fit
adviser or a mentor. the audience.

What specific changes can you make to your paragraphs to improve your
rating on the rubric?

Chapter 10
83
Revise
1. Plan your introductory paragraph. How will you focus your reader's attention
on the body paragraphs that you have written?

2. Plan your conclusion. How will you summarize your points and bring the
essay to a satisfying stopping point?

3. On a separate piece of paper, revise your essay.

• Include the introduction and the conclusion that you have planned.
Make sure that the new parts fit smoothly into your essay.
• Revise the body paragraphs as suggested by your rubric review.
• Use the Editing Checklist on page 93 to help you make final edits.

4. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your essay against this rubric.
Decide together which statement in each row best describes your essay.
Circle the statements.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Ideas organized into Ideas are good, but not Ideas are poorly
effective paragraphs. well organized. Each organized. No clear
Structure
Each presents its main paragraph has one main main ideas in
idea in a topic sentence. idea; no topic sentences. paragraphs.
Interesting and specific Paragraph details could Details often unrelated
Content details support each be more specific and to main points.
main idea. interesting.
Moves smoothly from Some transitions are Transitions between
Organization paragraph to paragraph. awkward. paragraphs are poor or
missing.
Writer uses specific, Words are appropriate Writer chooses obvious
interesting words for the audience, but and overused words.
Word Choice
appropriate for an not very interesting. Some words do not fit
adviser or a mentor. the audience.
Introduction and Introduction and No clear introduction or
Revision conclusion are effective conclusion are present conclusion.
and well integrated. but not well integrated.
No errors in grammar A few errors in grammar Many errors in grammar
Mechanics
and mechanics. or mechanics. or mechanics.

Discuss with your writing partner what you could do to improve your writing.

Produce and Present

Prepare a final version of your essay for your portfolio.

Consider showing your essay to your adviser or mentor. It might start a useful
discussion about your future plans.

Chapter 10
84
 CHAPTER

11
The Good Life
Writing Skill:
* Cohesive Writing
Bernardino Alvarez, one of ten children, had to leave school after
the sixth grade to help support his family. He worked in the
Mexican potato fields for ten years.Then, he became a carpenter's
assistant. He grew skilled and joined with his brothers to
begin a carpentry business. But in 1995, the Mexican
economy collapsed. His business went under, and
Bernardino was left with nothing except unpaid
taxes. He saw no choice but to leave his family and
try to find work in the United States.

. Bernardino had been poor most of his life, but at

. least he had been at home with his loved ones.
In Philadelphia, PA, he was not only penniless but
also alone. The new language and customs were
confusing. Bernardino was starving, jobless, and
afraid of being arrested as an illegal immigrant. It
p.

was a terrifying time.

However, with much luck, the kindness of

strangers, and hard work, Bernardino survived.
After finally settling in, he was amazed at the many
opportunities he found in his new country. Could he
take advantage of them and build a good life for
himself and his family? Or was that just a foolish dream?

This is Bernardino's story.

 PP
“Tomorrow Will Be Better for Me.
Toward the end of Bernardino's first day at his new skills. He could see that Bernardino was struggling

job in his new country, he was so hungry that he to survive, so he began to help him. He gave

was on the verge of passing out. Desperately, he Bernardino rides to work and lent him money. Over
made eating motions to his co-workers. time, he helped Bernardino find an apartment, get

They rushed to a grocery store.The food that they his working papers, enroll in English classes, and get

bought for him to eat made him feel very sick, or a computer.

perhaps he felt sick because of the worry, fear, and Classes at La Comunidad Hispana changed
confusion. He was an illegal immigrant and spoke Bernardino's life. He began in the level-one English
almost no English. Would he be put in jail? Could class. Over the next five years, he progressed
he survive with no money? Perhaps his plan was through all six levels. He went to work from
unrealistic. But he couldn't go back to Mexico. 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m„ and then, without fail,
There was no way for him to earn a living for his attended classes every evening. With his teachers'
family there. encouragement, he earned his GED and studied

He had to do this. Tomorrow will be better for me, computers. "I worked with all my power," says

he told himself. Bernardino. "It was exhausting, but I had to."

Bernardino was back on the job the next morning, Now, life is good. Bernardino owns a successful

still sick, still fearful, and still overwhelmed by the carpentry business. He has brought his family
new language and customs.That night, as he began members to join him in the United States. He

to do every night, he told himself, Tomorrow will enjoys designing houses and dreams of being an
be better for me. architect.
Eventually, tomorrow was better. His boss liked "I am happy now," Bernardino says. "Life is easier,
Bernardino's hard work and admired his carpentry and I am excited about the future."

Vocabulary

verge - edge carpentry - related to building and

desperately - with great need and repairing houses and other
anxiety wooden things

illegal - against the law designing - drawing plans for the form
or structure of something
unrealistic - unworkable; unlikely;
not realistic architect - a professional designer of
buildings

Chapter 11
86
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.

1. Bernardino developed a successful business.

He learned his skills while he was still in Mexico

Carpentry skills involve

2. Is it legal or in this state to turn riaht on a red lioht?

Parking by a fire hydrant is

It is illegal to

3. Joe won an award for the best kitchen.

Darlene's favorite activity is fancy dresses.

1 like designing

4. , the man dialed 911

Kueth has just arrived in the United States. He needs a place to live.

1 desperately wanted

5. The river was on the of overflowing.

His business is on the of bankruptcy.

1 was on the verge of

6. A famous is designing the new courthouse.

We met with the builder and the yesterday.

An architect designed

7. 'Is it to think that the world could support billions more people?

Some politicians try to get votes by makinq oromises.

It is unrealistic to

Chapter 11
87
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.

Writing Skill: Cohesive Writing

As you begin to write longer pieces and essays, make sure that your writing flows
into one cohesive piece. In cohesive writing, the parts mesh smoothly and logically
together, making it easy for a reader to follow your clearly stated ideas.

Reread Bernardino's story on page 86. With a writing partner, find the point at which
the story moves from one section to another section. Where does it change from
beginning to middle, and from middle to end? How do you know?

Write the first sentence of the story's middle.

Write the first sentence of the story's ending.

Write the transition words that begin each of the last two sections.

Using transition words well is the key to cohesive writing. They are the guideposts
that lead the reader from idea to idea and from section to section.

Chapter 1
88
 Get Ready to Write
'*///'/ c'-.wm

Bernardino sees the United States as a land of opportunity. Do you agree with him?
State your opinion in an essay. Give specific reasons to support your view.

1. First, think about the question. What are you being asked to do? This question
specifically asks for reasons to support your opinion.

2. Discuss the question with a writing partner or group. Explain to each other
why you think as you do.

3. Decide what opinion you will present. Write that opinion in the top box of the
idea web below.

4. Why do you have this opinion? Write one reason for your opinion in each
of the idea web's reason boxes. Choose convincing reasons to make the
strongest argument you can.

5. Add any details and examples to the reason boxes.

6. How will you end the essay? Make notes in the conclusion box.

Write
Draft your essay on a separate piece of paper. Follow your idea web. Include an
introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Chapter 1
89
Revise
1. Review what you have written.

Keep your reader in mind. Will that person be able to follow your reasoning
easily? If not, try to understand why.

Reread your essay. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your essay.

Feature Well Done! OK Needs Work

Essay has an engaging Introduction and No introduction or
introduction, several conclusion are conclusion at all, just
body paragraphs, and a present, but not body paragraphs.
Structure No clear main ideas
strong conclusion. Every effective. Sometimes
main idea has its own more than one main in paragraphs.
paragraph. idea per paragraph.
Ideas are in logical, Idea sequence is a little Ideas aren't in any
convincing order. Essay confusing. Parts of the particular order.
flows smoothly from essay flow well, but Essay does not flow.
Organization
one idea to the next. other parts are jerky. Writer does not use
Writer uses transition Could use transition transition words.
words well. words better.
Essay presents clear Reasons for opinion Hard to follow the
reasons for opinion are presented, but reasons for opinion.
Content supported by specific not clearly. Details not Details not related to
details. All details relate specific. main points.
directly to reasons.

What specific changes can you make to your essay to improve your rating on
the rubric?

2. Write a final version of your essay.

Chapter 11
90
I

Chapter 11
91
 3. With a partner, edit your essay carefully. Use the Editing Checklist on page 93.
Make changes on the essay itself.

4. This essay assignment is similar to the essay you will be asked to write if you
take the GED Language Arts essay test. Try evaluating your essay against the
GED Essay Scoring Rubric on page 94.

• First, with the class or a partner, read through the GED Essay Scoring
Rubric. How is it similar to the rubrics you have been using? How is it
different?
• Work with a partner. Review both of your essays against this rubric. In
each row, decide together which statement best describes each of your
essays. Circle it.
• Although you may find it helpful to use the GED Essay Scoring Rubric in
this way, people who score GED essay tests use the guide differently.
They look at whole essays, not essay parts. Every essay is given just one
score between 1 and 4 for the test. A 2 or higher is a passing score. With
your partner, decide where on the GED scale your essays fall.

Produce and Present

Put a final copy of your essay into your portfolio.

With your class, discuss whether the United States is a land of opportunity. Tell the
class why you hold your opinion. Give the reasons that you included in your essay.
Listen to the opinions of others.

Consider gathering essays into a class booklet or a bulletin board display.

Last Word
Review the portfolio that you have created as you worked through this book.
Notice your progress! You have been using the best method for learning to write
well—writing, thinking about your writing, revising it, and then writing some more.
Write! Revise! Succeed! May your writing skills help you to fulfill your dreams.

Chapter 11
92
 Editing Checklist

Mechanics
_ I capitalized the first word in every sentence.

_ I capitalized all proper nouns.

- Each sentence I wrote ends with a period, a question mark, or an

exclamation point.

_ I used punctuation correctly (commas, apostrophes, quotes, etc.).

_ I spelled all words correctly. (Check carefully for commonly confused words
like they're, their, there;your,you're; its, it's; etc.)

_ I indented the beginning of each new paragraph.

Grammar
_ Each of my sentences is a complete thought with a subject and a verb.
There are no sentence fragments in my work.

_ There are no run-on sentences that are incorrectly joined by commas.

_ Subjects and verbs agree in number (singular subject, singular verb; plural
subject, plural verb).

_ When I use pronouns, they clearly refer to someone or something.

_ I use verb tenses consistently unless a change is required (past, present,

future).

Style
I varied the lengths of sentences I wrote. Some are long, some are short,
and some are medium in length.

I chose clear, interesting, colorful, precise words and made sure that they
were appropriate for my audience. I avoided vague, overused words and
cliches.

I cut out any unnecessary words. Nothing is more complicated than it

needs to be.

Editing Checklist
93
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 Glossary

accounting - keeping track of business finances humiliate - shame or embarrass

administrator - person in charge illegal - against the law
Alzheimer's - degenerative disease of the immediately - right away; without delay
central nervous system incident - brief, unplanned event
analogies - test questions that compare influence - a person that has an effect on
relationships among words another person
anguished - filled with pain inspiration - brilliant, surprising idea
architect - a professional designer of buildings inspiration - courageous example or influence
arduous - difficult; hard investment - money or time spent in hope that
asset - something positive that has value it may pay off in the future
attainable - possible to get or accomplish invisible - unable to be seen
blue-collar - describes work, often manual, that liability - disadvantage or barrier
requires work clothes mediocre - not very good, but not terrible
browsed - skimmed; looked over casually mentor - teach; coach; advise; guide
capable - able to do things well milestone - important step toward a goal
carpentry - related to building and repairing mortgage - loan against property
houses and other wooden things nevertheless - in spite of that
certified - officially approved nontraditional - not customary
clientele - all of a business's customers together notorious - famous for negative reasons
conquer - overcome options - choices
credibility - believability; acceptance as being overwhelmed - helpless; defeated
honest or true phobia - crippling fear
culinary - related to cooking positive - confident; optimistic; encouraging
debtor - a person who borrows money and potential - ability not yet used
must pay it back poverty - the state of being poor
defiant - angrily refusing to obey; ready to fight precious - of great value
designing - drawing plans for the form or priority - something of great importance
structure of something procrastinate - keep putting off; delay
desperately - with great need and anxiety productive - giving good results
diagnosed - recognized as having a disease or propelled - pushed forward as if driven
condition recipient - a person who gets something
discouraging - confidence reducing; depressing recommended - suggested
dismayed - not sure how to deal with rehabilitation - restoring to good health
something; upset repeatedly - over and over
downsized - cut to save the employer money residential - where people live
eag&r - enthusiastic; impatient to do siblings - brothers and sisters
embarrassed - uncomfortable or ashamed sullen - showing anger by refusing to speak
encouragement - support transformed - changed
enormously - in a big way transition - change; the passage from one
erupted - burst out stage to another
estimated - made a careful guess trembled - shook
exhausting - very tiring unburdened - freed from a heavy load
facility - a building with a special purpose unrealistic - unworkable; unlikely; not realistic
fortunate - lucky verge - edge
hectic - very busy winced - made a brief movement in pain
Glossary
95
 Students and the Programs They Attended

Viridiana Ramos
Montebello Adult School
Montebello, CA

Richard Evans
Tom Green County Adult Literacy Council
San Angelo,TX

Jason Donaldson
Kennedy-King Community College Adult Education Program
Chicago, IL

Cynthia Brooks
GECAC and Stairways CareerLink GED
Erie, PA

LaDonna Taltoan
Lancaster Lebanon Intermediate Unit #13 Family Literacy Program
East Petersburg, PA

Arlene Cianelli
No program - self-study

Wennik Watson
Onondaga Cortland Madison BOCES GRASP Program
Liverpool, NY

Daniel Juarez
Elamilton - Fulton - Montgomery BOCES
Amsterdam, NY

Ramona Linan
Watsonville/Aptos Adult School
Watsonville, CA

Tom Henneman
Lassen Adult School
Susanville, CA

Bernardino Alvarez
La Comunidad Hispana
Ken nett Square, PA

Students and Programs

96
 *

c i
% 4
* I
f t

Gain the confidence you need to become

an effective writer!

Use the writing process:

• get ready to write m§i.
• write a first draft ran

• revise
• produce a final version
• share your work

Work with others, share ideas, and use a scoring

chart to evaluate and improve your writing.

Each chapter is built around the story of an adult

who has overcome personal struggles to get an
education and succeed in life.

Writing assignments include:

• paragraphs
• letters
• stories
• essays
• tributes
• summaries

New Readers Press ISBN 1-56420-557-6

Division of ProLiteracy- Worldwide
Syracuse, New York
800-448-8878
www. newreaders p ress. co t
9781564205575 22
12/09/2019 14.34-2