Writing Well - Write, Revise, Succeed!
Writing Well - Write, Revise, Succeed!
https://archive.org/details/writingwellwriteOOOOwils
Write,
Revise,
Succeedl
Libby Wilson
GED Teacher
Greater Erie Community Action Committee
Stairways Behavioral Health, Inc.
GED Trainer
Pennsylvania Bureau of Adult Basic and Literacy Education
Writing Well
Write, Revise, Succeed!
Libby Wilson
GED Teacher
Greater Erie Community Action Committee
Stairways Behavioral Health, Inc.
GED Trainer
Pennsylvania Bureau of Adult Basic and Literacy Education
ISBN 1-56420-557-6
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or
by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any
information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Chapter 2: Perseverance.page 13
Skill: Questioning
Skill: Summarizing
Skill: Sequencing
Editing Checklist.page 93
Glossary.page 95
What Is Writing?
How would you define writing? Is it spelling words correctly? Using correct
grammar? Adding commas? Writing five paragraphs, including an introduction
and a conclusion? Writing may include these, but it is much more. Writing is
expressing your thoughts on paper so that someone else can understand
them. The first goal of this book is to help you use writing to discover what
you think and feel. "Good writing is clear thinking made visible." (Bill Wheeler,
educator)
Revising Writing
The second goal of this book is to convince you that a first draft is just a
starting point. Look at the draft from your reader's viewpoint. How can you
make it more interesting or easier for the reader to follow? Work with what you
have written. Dig deeper into your subject. Look for new ideas. Reviewing your
draft and making changes is called revising. All good writers learn to revise
their work.
When you work with others, give feedback that is helpful rather than
discouraging or hurtful. Make comments like these:
At times, you may wish to work alone. You should always have that option.
Portfolios
Keep your finished writing in a portfolio. Its contents will become a lasting
record of your improving writing skills.
Now, write! Revise! And may you succeed in reaching your goals, too!
Chapter 1
5
"I Can't Believe How My Life Has Changed."
"Viridiana, it's your turn," the tenth-grade English third-grade reading level. More important, she
teacher said. "Please read the next page aloud." decided to try the program.
Viridiana Ramos tried her best, but she could Although she was nervous at first, Viridiana
barely read at all. Laughter erupted in the room. loved it! She was the youngest in a class of six. The
Viridiana wanted to disappear under her desk. classmates became friends and helped each other.
The staff was kind. And a dedicated tutor named
She had never finished a whole year of school.
Her mother spoke no English and had little Alice studied with Viridiana two mornings a week.
education. When Viridiana was being bullied or In a small class where the pace was slow, Viridiana
had another major problem, her mother simply found that she could learn. She was an enthusiastic,
took her out of school. In her family, education was patient, hardworking student. For seven months,
not a priority. she studied letter sounds and syllables. After that,
The English teacher recommended that Viridiana found herself at a new, higher reading
Viridiana get help from the school's Reading Center. level. Exciting new worlds began to open up!
Viridiana went twice, but the secretary just talked on Over the next two years, Viridiana earned 145
the phone and ignored her. No one helped her. credits and received her diploma. She gained great
Discouraged, she dropped out of school. self-confidence, and her life became full of hope
Viridiana was depressed for the next two years. All and possibilities.
she did was cook and clean. She wanted to learn to Today, Viridiana Ramos is an area administrator
read, to finish high school, and to get a good job. for a home-mortgage company, a job she loves.
One day, Viridiana's sister met two tutors from She will forever feel grateful to Alice and the adult-
a literacy council. They encouraged her to bring school staff for their help and encouragement.
Viridiana to their program. Painfully shy, never Learning to read and write well completely
raising her eyes, Viridiana went. She tested at the transformed her life.
Vocabulary
Chapter 1
6
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then read the sentences aloud.
Then, they will have to discuss what their joint should be.
Chapter 1
7
React to the Story
Relax. Then write your thoughts about the story. For five minutes, write whatever
comes to mind. Don't worry about details. Just write.
Reread the last two paragraphs of Viridiana's story on page 6. In which of them might
this sentence belong? "She became friendly and outgoing."
Put a 1 beside each sentence that belongs in a paragraph with the first main idea.
Put a 2 beside each sentence that belongs with the second main idea.
_Her mother wanted her to drop out of adult school and stay home.
_For the first time in her life, she felt good about her abilities.
_She began to help out, answering phones and tutoring new students.
_No one at home ever tried to help her with her schoolwork.
_Her mother felt that she was losing Viridiana to the new school.
Chapter 1
8
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Write a paragraph about a time when you felt proud of yourself.
Think of a time when you were proud of yourself for something that you
accomplished. What was the situation? How did you feel? Why did you feel
that way? In the space below, write brief notes about the experience.
Now organize your notes. Circle what seems most important to you. Cross out any
ideas that don't seem to fit.
Write
Write the paragraph. This is your first draft.
Chapter I
9
In each of this book's chapters, you will be asked to review your writing against a
rubric. Rubrics can help you make effective changes to your writing. A rubric contains
features to look for, and it describes how well each feature has been done. When you
finish comparing your writing to a rubric, you'll see what needs to be improved.
Reread your paragraph. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the box
that best describes your paragraph.
Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in the
same row to see how to improve your writing.
Revise
First drafts are never perfect. In this book, you will always be asked to revise your work.
After considering the rubric, answer these questions.
1. What main idea did you want to express in your paragraph? Write your topic
sentence below.
2. Do the other sentences in your paragraph relate to that main idea? Cross out
any sentences that do not.
3. Does your paragraph need more details to support its topic sentence? On
your first draft, make a note of any details you want to add.
4. Decide which sentences should come first, second, etc. Show the sequence by
writing the numbers 1,2,3, etc., before the sentences and ideas in your draft.
Chapter I
10
Now, rewrite your paragraph, following your plan. Put your main idea in a
topic sentence; then write sentences using the supporting details that you
have chosen in the sequence you like.
Chapter
11
It is often helpful to work with one or more other people when reviewing and
revising your work. Here are some guidelines for working with others.
6. Share your paragraph with a writing partner. Then evaluate it against this
rubric. Notice the new features. Decide together which statement in each row
best describes your work. Then circle the statements.
Chapter 1
12
CHAPTER
Perseverance
Writing Skill:
Generating Ideas
If anyone had good reason to give up on learning to read and
write, it was Richard Evans. By the third grade, he didn't even know
the alphabet. Kids were mean. Teachers seemed unable
mitiikbbiL.
to help, and Richard felt lost and confused. School
was a nightmare. He finally quit school just after
his 18th birthday. But alcohol and drugs soon
took over his life.
l*U**“*
IfUpiW'*'-'
Chapter 2
13
"If I Can Do It, Anyone Can."
By the time he was in junior high, Richard had a your own way." What a relief. There was hope!
phobia about school. School was torture. He threw Because he learned differently from others, he
up every morning and had bad dreams every night. couldn't just sit and study one thing at a time.
During the school day, he tried to make himself Learning was much easierfor him when he had two
invisible. or three computers going at once, each involving a
Fortunately, Richard was talented in electronics. different project. He also found a reading program
When he dropped out of school at 18, he got a good for his computer that pronounced words as he read
job working with a robotic cutting tool. At last, he along. Slowly, he made progress.
felt like a success! More confident now, Richard wanted to re-enter
However, his private life was not so successful. He school. His first effort to conquer his school phobia
married, but the marriage was not happy. He got was to drive by the community college many times.
involved with alcohol and drugs. Richard began to Next, he parked for 30-minute periods in the
hate his life. parking lot. At last, he entered the building.
Then he heard about a book, Tough Times Never Seeking nontraditional students, the college
Last, But Tough People Do by Robert Schuller. With accepted him. But Richard dropped out after three
his wife's help, Richard "read" his first book, and it weeks, overwhelmed. He studied on his own for a
made him want to change his life. He entered a year and then tried again. This time, he succeeded!
residential treatment facility. When he shared his struggles with a speech class,
While in recovery, Richard began to write a they said, "Richard, you have to share your story with
journal. Writing was hard for him, but he found that others!" This became the focus of his new life. He,
it helped him with his reading. He knew that he majored in special education and now teaches and
might never feel better about himself unless he counsels others with learning differences.
could read and write well. Richard calls his learning differences a gift because
Richard decided to enroll in a literacy program. they led him to work that he feels passionate about.
He was told, "You can learn, but you have to do it His life is now spent giving hope to others.
Chapter 2
14
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.
Overwhelmed means___.
2. Some rehabilitation facilities are open only during the day, but others are_.
Residential means___.
3. Some dog fences are_. An electric signal is what keeps dogs in the yard.
Invisible means_.
Conquer means_.
Facility means_
Phobia means_
i
Nontraditional means_
Chapter 2
15
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
The diagram below is called an idea web. Use it to help you gather and organize
your ideas before writing. Write a main idea in the center circle. Then write related
ideas or details in the surrounding circles.
Write a paragraph about a problem that someone has and does not want to face.
1. Think about a friend or family member who has a problem that he or she
doesn't want to face. Make up a name for that person if you wish. Pick a
situation that you are willing to discuss with a classmate or writing partner.
2. Think about the situation. Why is the situation a problem? Does it hurt the
person? Does it hurt other people? Why do you think the person is avoiding
the problem? What steps could be taken to solve the problem? Write notes
about the situation on a separate piece of paper.
Chapter 2
16
3. Discuss your notes with a classmate or writing partner. Ask for helpful
comments and questions. Add to your notes, or cross out notes that do
not belong on your list.
4. Decide on one main idea for your paragraph. Write that main idea in the
center circle of your idea web.
5. Pick two or three supporting ideas, or details, for that main idea. Write the
supporting ideas in the other circles in the web.
W rite
1. Write a paragraph about the person and his or her problem.
Cftapter 2
17
2. Reread your paragraph. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle
the statement that best describes your paragraph.
Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
Revise
You wrote the first draft for yourself. Now suppose that you want to send the paragraph
to the person with the problem. You might make some changes. This is called adapting
your writing for a different audience. Always write with your audience in mind.
1. Share your paragraph with a classmate or writing partner. Ask that person to
pretend he or she is the person with the problem. Ask, "How does reading
what I wrote make you feel? Hurt? Upset? Understood? Hopeless?" Discuss
the following ideas:
• Tone. Tone is the overall manner in which words are spoken or written.
Is the tone accusing? Sympathetic? Encouraging?
• Word choice. Which words set the tone of the writing? Do the words say
precisely what you mean?
2. Discuss any changes you would make before writing to the person with
the problem. What tone would you aim for? What words would help achieve
that tone?
Chapter 2
18
4. Revise your paragraph. Write it to the person who has the problem.
Chapter 2
19
5. If possible, work with a writing partner. Otherwise, think by yourself about
what you learned in this chapter. Consider these questions:
• What did you like or dislike about using the idea web?
• Did talking with others help you think of more ideas?
• How did having a specific reader in mind change your writing?
6. Share your paragraph with your writing partner. Then evaluate it against this
rubric. Decide together which statement in each row best describes your work.
Then circle the statements.
Discuss with your writing partner what you can do to improve your writing.
7. Review the Editing Checklist on page 93. A checklist is helpful when you are
nearly done with a piece of writing. Use it as a guide when you make your
final edits.
Edit your revised paragraph. Pay particular attention to the first five points on
the Editing Checklist.
Chapter 2
20
CHAPTER
Chapter 3
21
“I’m Lucky Just to Be Here.”
Earning a GED was an important milestone in not words." When Jason dropped out of school in
Jason Donaldson's life, but his diploma was only one the 11th grade, he was doing well in every subject
I was more capable than I thought," Jason says. For several years, he worked at a pizza shop. Later,
"For the first time in my life, I began to feel good he became an activity aide at a nursing home. When
Self-esteem and self-confidence are remarkable work. But he realized that he would need a diploma
characteristics in a man with Jason's background. His or a GED to get a good job. He had thought about
father died when he was two. Low income forced going back to school before, but fear had made him
Jason and his mother to live in an apartment on the procrastinate. This time, he felt he had no choice.
notorious south side of Chicago. "The housing It was the best thing that could have happened.
projects across the street were depressing places, Jason went to class four nights every week to work
filled with drugs, guns, and hopelessness. Everyone on his math and writing skills. Soon, he was ready
felt stuck. Generations of families were just existing, to take the GED test, but there was a four-month
not really living." Jason is grateful to have survived waiting list. He continued attending classes and
life in his neighborhood. "I'm lucky just to be here." then passed the test with honors!
School was no escape. Small for his age, Jason was Jason had always enjoyed cooking. With
constantly picked on. By the third grade, he was encouragement from his teachers, he entered a
skipping school. He spent his days touring Chicago, culinary school. He earns As and Bs and even takes
"learning more than I could have in class." Luckily, he time to mentor several of the younger students.
became a good reader at an early age."I learned that Now, Jason loves being a student chef and using his
if a story or book was written right, you saw images, artistic skills to design attractive food presentations.
Vocabulary
milestone - important step toward a goal procrastinate - keep putting off; delay
capable - able to do things well culinary - related to cooking
notorious - famous for negative reasons mentor - teach; coach; advise; guide
downsized - cut to save the employer
money
Chapter 3
22
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.
I procrastinate when_.
Culinary means_.
5. Jobs at the shop were_ _because fewer orders were coming in.
To mentor is to_
/
Chapter 3
23
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
Writing to public officials and businesses requires a different, more formal tone.
Businesspeople prefer letters that come right to the point. They want all the
information they need, but nothing more. And they expect to read proper English,
correctly spelled and well presented. To accomplish your goals, use formal writing
when you conduct business.
When you write, think first about your reader. Would it be better to write formally or
informally to that reader?
Chapter 3
24
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Invite neighbors to a meeting about a neighborhood problem.
Then write a formal complaint to a government office.
1. Pretend you are Jason. The elevator in your tall building is often broken. This
creates many problems for you and your neighbors. Create an informal flyer
about the elevator situation. Or choose another community issue that is
important to you and your neighbors. In the flyer, invite the neighbors to a
meeting to seek a solution. Include at least three reasons why you think that
this is a serious problem. You will need more than one paragraph. Make sure
each paragraph is about just one main idea.
Brainstorming is another way of getting ideasfor writing. You can brainstorm alone,
but the technigue works better with two or more people.
2. Brainstorm with a writing partner about the situation. What problems would it
cause? Write your ideas below.
3. Decide what you want to say in your flyer. Describe the problem, and then
invite your neighbors to the meeting.
Main idea_
Detail___
Detail__
Detail_
Main idea__
Detail__
Detail_
Chapter 3
25
Write
Write your flyer on the lines below. Indent the first line of each new paragraph.
Chapter 3
26
Revise
Reread your flyer. Did you use informal language when you wrote to the neighbors?
Which words or phrases show informality?
Assume that your group decided at the meeting to make an official complaint. Change
your informal flyer into a formal letter of complaint.
Beginning:
Tell why you are Purpose:
writing.
Middle:
Explain the issue. Main idea (problem):
Reason:
Reason:
Reason:
End:
Reguest a specific Action reguested:
action.
2. Address your letter to the government official in your area who deals with
your kind of complaint. For example, Jason would write to his local housing
authority. Your teacher or a librarian can help you find the right person.
• Put your name, address, and the date at the top of the page.
• Then write the name, title, and address of the official.
• Greet the official (for example, "Dear Commissioner Carter:").
• Write your letter. Indent and start a new paragraph when you move to a
new main idea.
• Use transition words I ike "first," "in addition,""as a result," and "for example."
/ These show relationships between your sentences. They can help readers
to follow the sequence of your ideas.
• Close the letter with "Sincerely,"and your name.
Write clearly and convincingly. Use formal language. Be firm, but not angry.
Chapter 3
27
4. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your letter against this rubric. Decide
together which statement in each row best describes your letter. Circle the
statements.
Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
If you wrote about your own issue, consider sending your letter to the government
official you identified.
Chapter 3
28
CHAPTER
Chapter 4
29
"You're Wrong About Me!”
Confused, Cynthia Brooks stared at the dots and out her old journal and browsed through it. She
words on the college admissions test.The counselor winced at the anguished thoughts that she'd
called them analogies. She'd never seen a test like recorded during arguments with her often-absent
this one before. How could analogies tell the mom and during the time when she had lost
Panic grabbed her; she couldn't think. Precious GED, which hadn't been as hard as she'd feared.
seconds slipped away, taking her dreams of college She'd grown confident in her abilities and felt sure
with them. Thirty minutes later, she looked at her that she could do well in college.
awful test results. It was thattestllhe thought made her sit upright.
"I'm sorry," said the counselor, "but our test shows If they had given me the kind of test that I'm used to
that you're not quite ready for college-level work. taking, I'd have done a lot better. Do all admissions
Why don't you study for another year? Then, come offices use that kind of test? She tossed the journal
back and see us." aside and picked up the phone book. She was
Cynthia walked out of the building on shaky legs. going to find out.
Come back in a year? No way! She would never Two weeks later, Cynthia glowed with satisfaction
humiliate herself like that again. The words she'd as she left a different admissions office. She had not
heard all her life replayed in her head. You're stupid. only passed their test and been accepted, but she
You'll never amount to anything. You need to learn had qualified for 100 percent financial aid as well!
your place. She closed her eyes, as she waited at the She wondered how many other people's plans
bus stop, longing for the privacy of home. had been frustrated by their results on that test. She
For days, Cynthia kept busy and tried to forget the was glad that she had paid attention to her own
incident. Then she remembered that writing had thoughts, instead of accepting the counselor's
helped her cope with problems in the past. She dug judgment.
analogies - test questions that compare browsed - skimmed; looked over casually
relationships among words
winced - made a brief movement in pain
precious - of great value
anguished - filled with pain
humiliate - shame or embarrass
incident - brief, unplanned event
Chapter 4
30
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then read the sentences aloud.
The puppy let out_cries when her owner left the house.
The GED uses no_but college admission tests may include them.
Chapter 4
31
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
One way you can uncover hidden ideas is by questioning. Once you have finished a
first draft, go back through it and think of questions you would like to ask the subject of
the story, such as "Why did you do that?" or "If the same thing happened today, would
you react in the same way?"
For instance, after reading Cynthia's story, you might want an answer to this
question:
1. Reread Cynthia's story. With a writing partner, think of questions you would
like to ask Cynthia. What information is left out? What else would you like
to know?
2. Gather all the questions that the members of your group or class came
up with. Then think about how you might include some of that additional
information in Cynthia's story. This questioning strategy is a great way to
identify details that would make your writing more interesting to a reader.
Chapter 4
32
Get Ready to Write
Write a story for a young friend or relative. Tell about a specific time when someone
you know succeeded at a task by relying on his or her own judgment.
1. With a writing partner, brainstorm situations you might write about. In the
space below, write a few words that will help you remember each idea.
2. Choose the one situation that you would most like to share. Write your main
ideas and some supporting thoughts. Then organize these notes. What will
you write about first? Second? Number the ideas in order. Plan to start a new
paragraph whenever you change to a new main idea.
Main idea__
Detail __
Detail_
Detail_
Main idea_
Detail__
Detail_
Detail_
Main idea_
, Detail_
Detail_
Detail
Write
On a separate piece of paper, write your story. In your mind, picture the young person
to whom you are writing. Remember to indent each paragraph.
Chapter 4
33
Revise
Try the questioning technique with the story you just wrote.
2. Ask listeners to pretend that they are going to interview the subject of your
story. Ask them to make lists of questions they would like to ask. If you are
working alone, make your own list of questions.
3. Share and discuss the lists. How do you think your subject would answer the
questions?
4. In the boxes below, write a few of the questions that interest you most. Then
make notes about how you think your subject might answer.
2 2
3 3
5. Plan how you will add this new information to your story.
Chapter 4
34
Rewrite your story. Make it more interesting by adding the new details that
you gathered by using the questioning technique.
Chapter 4
Did brainstorming help you come up with ideas for writing?
Did the questioning technique help you think of interesting details to add to
you story?
Work with a writing partner to evaluate your story against the rubric below.
Decide together which statement in each row best describes your story. Circle
the statements.
Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
• Have a storytelling session. Tell your story to the group, and listen to the stories
that your classmates have written.
• Invite an audience to the storytelling session and make it an event!
• Compile the stories into a class book. Make copies for everyone.
• Make a bulletin board display of the stories. Illustrate stories with drawings
or photos.
Chapter 4
36
CHAPTER
i
“Take Advantage of Every Opportunity."
Over the years, LaDonna tried several GED LaDonna started immediately. She worked hard
programs without success. Something always got in and made slow but steady progress.
the way. Tragically, her fiance was killed, leaving her Soon, she took advantage of another opportunity:
as the single parent of their infant son. Overwhelmed a nursing-assistant's class. A few weeks later,
by her circumstances, LaDonna dropped her studies LaDonna had a new job as a Certified Nursing
and struggled daily just to keep going. Assistant. She worked from 11:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m.
The next year, LaDonna met Robert, who would She got home just in time to get the older children
become her husband. Soon, they had a daughter. off to school, and the others ready to go to school
Since they both worked full-time, LaDonna had with her. It was exhausting, but Robert and Trish
trouble attending her evening GED classes and her kept encouraging her. LaDonna was excited about
Chapter 5
38
Vocabulary Exercise
Write a full sentence to answer each question. Use the vocabulary word that fits best in
each sentence. Then read the sentence aloud.
1. Working, going to school, and taking care of her family all at the same time
was very tiring for LaDonna. What did LaDonna think of her busy life?
2. Sam decided to call the adviser right away. When did he decide to call?
4. The one who wins the award will be given a free trip to the Bahamas.
Who will get the free trip?
7. Job hunters may get depressed as they look for jobs day after day.
How would they probably describe the experience to others?
Chapter 5
39
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
Now reread the first paragraph of LaDonna's story on page 38. It begins with a
problem. The reader might want to see how the problem is solved.
Another good opening for LaDonna's story might have been the disappointing
moment when she read her initial practice test score of 187. A reader might want to
find out how she was able to succeed.
An interesting opening grabs attention and makes readers want to keep reading.
Think of someone like LaDonna, someone you know and admire who seeks opportunities
and works hard to take advantage of them. Write a public tribute to this person, at least
two or three paragraphs long, describing what he or she has done to earn your respect
and affection. Persuade your reader to appreciate your subject, too.
Chapter 5
40
1. Brainstorm for five minutes about your subject. What do you admire about
this person? Let your thoughts flow without editing them. As fast as you can,
write words that will remind you of your thoughts. Don’t try to write every¬
thing; just write a few reminder words.
Detail_
Detail_
Detail_
Detail_
Detail __
Detail_
Detail__
I
Detail_
Detail _
Write
1. Write the first draft of your tribute on a separate piece of paper.
Chapter 5
41
2. Reread your tribute. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your tribute.
Did you circle statements under O/fand Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
Revise
1. Pair up with a writing partner and read your tributes out loud.
2. Have your partner ask you at least three questions about the person in your
tribute. Use the questions to help you think of interesting details to add. Take
notes on the lines below. Then ask your partner questions about his or her
tribute.
3. Reread the openings to your tributes. With your partner, think of more
dramatic or interesting ways to begin. Add these ideas to your notes.
4. With your partner, review your tribute against the rubric above. Write notes
about changes you would like to make.
Chapter 5
42
Rewrite your tribute. Include new ideas that surfaced using the questioning
technique. Add your new opening.
Chapter 5
43
When you were revising your draft, did the questioning technique help you to
think of new details and reasons?
Work with a writing partner to evaluate your tribute against this rubric. In each
row, circle the statement that best describes your tribute.
With your writing partner, discuss what you could do to improve your writing.
• When your subject is with you, read the tribute to him or her.
• Send a copy of the tribute to the subject.
• At a gathering that includes the subject, read your tribute aloud.
• Find or take a picture of your subject. Then in a class display, include the picture
with a copy of your tribute.
• Add your tribute to a class book or web page.
Chapter 5
44
CHAPTER
Chapter 6
45
I Don’t Know If I Can Do This'."
Arlene stared at the figure on the bank loan Arlene met her first goal of getting her GED. But
form. To her, it was an overwhelming amount of to go to college she would have to borrow money.
money. Should she sign the bank note? Signing She was 23. Would she be able to compete for
would commit her and her husband to repaying grades against younger high-school graduates?
what could become a lifetime debt. The loan would have to be repaid even if she
Arlene was raised in a blue-collar coal-mining failed. Her finances could become worse than
town near Pittsburgh, PA. At 15, she dropped out they already were.
of high school to get married. The girls she knew Something her son's school counselor said kept
married right after high-school graduation, but she running through Arlene's mind: "Education is the
hadn't seen any reason to wait that long. After all, best investment you can make. You're investing
she was mature for her age. She had been taking in yourself, your future, and your family's future."
care of her three younger siblings for years, while Borrowing money was the only path Arlene could
her parents worked. see out of poverty. It was a risk, a big risk, but one
Arlene soon learned the value of the education she felt she had to take. She signed on the line
was stuck in minimum-wage work. Despite her Arlene completed her two-year business
husband's job and her part-time position, making program, but she didn't stop there. Her goals
ends meet was impossible. She could afford to feed expanded, and she went on to finish a four-year
her children only meatless spaghetti and scrambled business degree!
eggs. The family's clothes were worn out from long Arlene Cianelli is now the technology coordinator
and hard use. Arlene dreamed of escaping poverty. for a large literacy council. She helps adults earn
She wanted a better life for her children. GEDs and become comfortable with computers. As
So she came up with a plan: she would earn a a GED graduate herself, Arlene has great credibility
GED, get a two-year degree in business, and become with her students. The delayed education that she
a bank teller. Family-friendly hours, decent pay, and once considered a liability has become a great
good benefits attracted her to this occupation. asset.
blue-collar - describes work, often manual, debtor - a person who borrows money
that requires work clothes and must pay it back
siblings - brothers and sisters credibility - believability; acceptance as
poverty - the state of being poor being honest or true
Chapter 6
46
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.
1. People who didn't pay their bills used to be sent to_ _'s prisons.
A debtor is
Blue-collar means_
Poverty is __
If you had extra money, would you make an_in stocks and bonds?
An investment is
Sophia's mother spoke very little English. That was her biggest_
A liability is_
A middle child has at least one older and at least one younger_
A sibling is_
An asset is _
Mike's vague answers to our questions did not give_to his story.
Credibility is_
Chapter 6
47
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
1. For five minutes, brainstorm a list of difficult or risky decisions that have been
made by you or someone you know well. Write the ideas below as fast as you
can think of them.
2. Pick an interesting idea that you are willing to share. Write one sentence
describing the decision that was made and why it seems risky to you.
Chapter 6
48
3. In the columns below, list your reasons for and against the decision.
For Against
4. How could you organize two or three paragraphs about this decision?
Complete an idea web to plan your letter.
On a separate piece of paper, write to your friend or mentor about the decision. Base
the letter on your list of reasons for and against, and include information from the idea
web you made.
Chapter 6
49
Reread your letter.Then evaluate it against the rubric below. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your letter.
Every main idea has its Some paragraphs contain No clear main ideas in
Structure own paragraph and topic more than one main idea. paragraphs.
sentence.
Letter presents specific Reasons for and against Few details. Hard to
details and clear reasons the decision are follow the reasons for
Content presented, but not and against the decision.
for and against the
decision. clearly. Some details.
Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in the
same row to see how to improve your writing.
Revise
Extend your letter by answering the five W questions. Work with a writing partner.
2. Ask your partner to think like a newspaper writer, and ask several five W
questions about your letter. What details have been left out? What else might
a reader want to know? Write the questions below.
Wh_?
Wh_?
Wh_?
Wh_?
Wh __?
H_?
3. Choose one or two of the questions that interest you the most. Write notes
about your answers. Where in your letter will you put this new information?
Chapter 6
50
4. Revise your letter to include the additional details and any changes that you
made after working with the rubric.
Chapter 6
51
5. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your letter against this rubric. Decide
together which statement in each row best describes your letter. Circle the
statements.
6. Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
7. With your partner, review the Editing Checklist on page 93. Edit your letter, as
needed. Check especially for the following:
Chapter 6
52
CHAPTER
c m
Chapter 7
53
"I Wouldn’t Have Finished Without Them.’’
Wennik's hands trembled as she opened the GED then went to a foster home. Also, she was diagnosed
Testing Service letter. Had she passed the writing test as being seriously depressed.
she'd taken for the second time? At the age of 16, Wennik quit school to have a baby.
Not Pass. Wennik read the words, let out a long She got a job working with Alzheimer's patients and
sigh, and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was found that she liked helping people. But with low
more disappointed for herself or for the teacher, skills, she had trouble completing patients'charts. She
friends, and family who had been helping her. But also needed a diploma to advance in her work.
she was not going to let them down. Then, Wennik discovered the Even Start Family
She called her teacher, Pattie. "I'm disappointed, Literacy program. Her first teacher was helpful, but
but I'm not done," she said firmly. Wennik doubled the bond between them wasn't strong enough to
her homework time. She took her writing keep Wennik in the program. After a move to another
assignments to work, where her co-workers could town, she tried again. This time, she met Pattie. Pattie
help her. Although not an eager reader, she read was so cheerful and encouraging that their study
a book on writing. She met more often with sessions became enjoyable and productive. In little
Pattie. Repeatedly, they reviewed grammar and more than two years with Pattie, Wennik's language
punctuation. Wennik wrote essay after essay. score rose from the third-grade level to GED level.
Learning had always been a problem for Wennik. She passed her writing test on the third try!
Her single mom had worked several jobs to support Now, education is a priority in Wennik's home. Her
the family, so Wennik learned no preschool skills children do well in school, and Wennik is on the
at home. In school, her skills were so low she felt School Improvement Team at their school.
embarrassed. Learning Support classes helped, but Without Pattie's motivation and the strong support
she still hated school. Wennik skipped classes, got in of others, Wennik says that these wonderful changes
lots of trouble, ended up in a detention center, and in her life would not have occurred.
Vocabulary
Chapter 7
54
Vocabulary Exercises
Read the two sentences aloud. Circle the one that makes more sense.
2. Her legs diagnosed on the diving board. or Her legs trembled on the diving board
5. The doctor trembled Elisa's father. or The doctor diagnosed the problem.
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence.Then read the sentences aloud.
Chapter 7
55
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
"The big dog growled and started chasing me. I ran as fast as I could."
"The big dog showed his yellow fangs, snarled deep in his chest, and raced
towards me. As I fled, I heard his snapping jaws and pounding feet behind
me, gaining every second."
Write at least four words from the second passage that tell what the writer heard
or saw:
Stories are usually told in time order. What happened first? What happened second?
Then what happened? A story time line like the diagram below can help you organize
what you want to say in a story.
Chapter 7
56
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Tell an exciting story to a child or a friend.
Think of a time when you felt great emotion. Perhaps you were extremely happy or
terrified or shocked, etc. You are going to tell a story about why you felt that way. You'll
tell, or narrate, the story to a child or a friend.
1. Brainstorm possible stories. Then select the best one to tell a child or your
friend.
2. Think about specific events in the story. What happened first? Second? Third?
Put the main events into a story time line in the boxes below. If you need
more boxes, use another piece of paper.
3. Search your memory for details of what you saw, heard, smelled, tasted, or
touched in each part of the story. Make notes about those details.
4. Number the sensory details to show where they fit in the story. Use the
numbers of the boxes in the story time line.
5. Think about how you can move from one part of the story to the next. You will
need to use transition words to lead readers through the events smoothly.
Transition words that show time order include these:
6. You will need several paragraphs to tell your story. Remember to write each
paragraph around one main event or point and to start a new paragraph
when you change to a new point or event.
Chapter 7
57
m w r # $
Write
1. Write your story on another piece of paper.
2. Review your first draft, using the rubric below. In each row, circle the
statement that best fits your story.
3. Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
Revise
1. Tell your story to a writing partner. Ask your partner whether he or she
understood the sequence of events. Do you need to reorder any parts
of your story? If so, make notes on the first draft.
2. Talk with your partner about the sensory details that you have included.
Can you think of any words that would describe them in a stronger way?
Make notes about wording that would improve your story.
3. Use one of the questioning techniques (page 32 or page 34) to identify details
that would make the story better. On your first draft, make notes about details
you want to add.
Chapter 7
58
4. Write a final draft of your story. Make sure it flows smoothly in time order and
brings the experience to life with sensory details.
Chapter 7
59
5. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your story against this rubric. Decide
together which statement in each row best describes your story. Circle the
statements.
Discuss with your writing partner what you could do to improve your rating.
With your writing partner, check your revised story against the Editing
Checklist on page 93. Make necessary edits to the story.
Chapter 7
60
CHAPTER
'% ■ ,
Writing Skill:
Keep a Positive Outlook
Summarizing
Daniel Juarez thought he had good reasons for not completing
his high-school education. But when events forced him to return
to school, Daniel realized his reasons had really just been
excuses.
Chapter 8
61
“No Excuses!”
Daniel Juarez dropped out of his high school the money,"he told Laurie."And I'd never be home at
in Mexico to come to the United States. He night with my family." But Laurie knew Daniel had
often thought about completing his high-school always wanted to be a chef. She convinced him to
education, but soon he was very busy with a tour a nearby culinary arts program at a community
full-time restaurant job and a young family. There college.
just didn't seem to be time for school. Daniel visited the college and completed
All that changed one night when he told his boys financial aid forms. A few weeks later, he was
to do their homework. One asked,"Why do I need to admitted to the program and received a grant that
go to school? You didn't finish." would pay for all of his expenses!
Daniel was crushed. Was he a bad influence on He was going to be a chef! Daniel felt fortunate
his sons?That night, he tossed and turned in bed. that his excuses hadn't stood in his way. His family
The next day, Daniel signed up for evening was thrilled for him and very proud of his
He was tired both working and going to school, but Attending college and working at the same time
he wanted to succeed for his sons. Over time, was arduous. Sometimes, he was so exhausted that
Daniel's English improved enormously, and he tears would roll down his face as he drove from work
earned his GED! to classes. But he wouldn't quit. I can do this. I just
When Daniel stopped to thank his teacher, have to keep telling myself that.
Laurie, for her help, she said, "You can't stop now. Now, Daniel visits other classes to share his
You have too much potential!" positive outlook and to give others hope. "If you
College had never crossed his mind. He was ready want something, it's up to you to make it happen.
for a break from his hectic schedule. "I don't have No excuses!"
SSaKC;-
Chapter 8
62
Vocabulary Exercises
Circle the correct word.
1. If you haven't had a chance to sit down all day, is your schedule hectic or potential?
5. Would you say Daniel has potential in his field or fortunate in his field?
To answer each question, write a full sentence using an appropriate vocabulary word.
Then read the sentences aloud.
14. In what way would you like to affect how someone thinks?
Chapter 8
63
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
However, this chapter will require you to write less, to summarize a story. A good
summary includes the main points in each section of the original work. It combines
these ideas in a way that makes sense but that is much shorter than the original.
Here is an example. First, reread Richard's story on page 14. Now, read this summary of
his story. Does it cover all the most important ideas?
Richard went into a treatment program and realized that he wanted to read
and write better. So he entered a literacy program, where his learning difficulty was
diagnosed. Knowing what the problem was, he was able to figure out learning
methods that worked for him.
With encouragement from his teacher, Richard overcame his fear of school
and went to college. It was hard, but, in time, he graduated.Today, he teaches and
counsels people with learning disabilities.
Chapter 8
64
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
Summarize Daniel s story, as if you were going to include a short article about him in a newsletter.
Write three short paragraphs—first a beginning, then the middle, and finally
a conclusion. Each paragraph should have three or fewer sentences.
1. Identify no more than ten of the most important ideas from Daniel's story. An
idea may be stated in one sentence, or it may be expressed in several sentences.
Write your list of the most important ideas below, using your own words.
2. Compare your list with the lists of your group or writing partner. Be ready to
explain why you chose the ideas on your list. Discuss the lists as a group.
Agree on the most important ideas in the story. Write them below.
3. Put a 1 beside the ideas that you will include in your beginning paragraph. Put
a 2 beside the ideas that you will put into the middle paragraph. Then put a 3
beside the ideas that belong in the last paragraph.
Chapter 8
65
Write
1. Write your three-paragraph summary.
• Use your own words. Don't copy sentences from the story.
• Try to capture the overall meaning, not specific details.
• Make sure the summary has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
• Use transition words to make the summary flow smoothly.
Chapter 8
66
2. Read your summary aloud to the group. Listen to the summaries that others
wrote.
• Which summary includes all the most important ideas in the smallest
space?
• Which summary sounds most natural? Why?
Revise
Decisions about what to include in a summary and what to omit from a summary can
be difficult. The shorter the summary, the more difficult the decisions become.
4-
Chapter 8
67
2. Evaluate each of your summaries against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your work. Use different colors for the two
summaries.
Did you circle statements under OK and Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
3. As a group, review the original and revised summaries written by all class
members.
• Read the original summaries aloud. Which ones sound best? Look at
those summaries carefully. How did the writers make them flow so well?
• Look for the shortest summaries. Did they include all the important
ideas? If so, how did the writers make them so short?
• Look at the revised, five-sentence summaries. When a summary is this
short, important details must be left out. Which ideas survived? Did
everyone keep the same details?
Chapter 8
68
CHAPTER
Chapter 9
"My Children Will Have a Better LifeV
Putting her young daughter to bed one night, education to get a job that would support her family.
Ramona Linan was dismayed to hear, "Mama, Cathy Jo wanted Ramona to go on a tour of a
cuando yo sea grande, yo quiero trabajar en el nearby community college. Even thinking of college
campo como tu y mi abuelita."(Mommy, when I am was scary for Ramona because she had completed
older, I want to work in the fields like you and my only six years of formal schooling. But the tour
grandmother.) These words rang over and over in turned out to be the doorway to a dream. How had
Ramona's mind. she forgotten her childhood desire to become a
Ramona wanted more options for her girls. nurse? Knowing that she would still have to work
The only way she knew to begin was to enroll in full-time, Ramona estimated that it would take ten
English classes. years for her to become a registered nurse.
Even though her husband, Jaime, disapproved, She enrolled in a "bridge class," which helped her
Ramona was determined to build a future for her make the transition to college. The counselors and
girls. That winter, she started school. She loved her teachers were encouraging. Ten years later, Ramona
classes, but the fieldwork season soon approached. reached her goal! She graduated with a nursing
Her teacher, Cathy Jo, helped Ramona find a night¬ degree and began to work in a rehabilitation center.
time cleaning job so she could earn money and still Was it worth it? Two miracles in her family life
keep her days free for classes. However, Ramona had answer that question. First, her daughters are
separated from her husband. He had begun using college bound, and one decided that she wanted
drugs and was eventually jailed. This meant Ramona to become a doctor! And second, Ramona and
was now a single parent, working full-time and her husband got back together. He earned a
going to school. Life was exhausting. college degree in sociology, and he now works with
Nevertheless, Ramona studied hard. Within a year, troubled youths. Ramona was thrilled to have been
she passed the Spanish version of the GED test. such an inspiration to her family!
However, she realized that she would need more Education can transform lives.
Vocabulary
dismayed - not sure how to deal with transition - change; the passage from
something; upset one stage to another
options - choices rehabilitation - restoring to good health
nevertheless - in spite of that inspiration - courageous example
estimated - made a careful guess or influence
Chapter 9
70
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.
Transition means_
Rehabilitation means__
Inspiration means_
Touring the campus was scary for Ramona._, she did it.
Nevertheless means__
Options are_
The policeman _ _that the car skidded for about 100 feet.
Estimated means
7. The father was _ _at the sight of his daughter's messy room.
Dismayed means
Chapter 9
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
Sometimes you need to sequence carefully, to organize your sentences in the most
effective order for a particular purpose. Here are a few of the many sequencing
options. When might you use each one?
Sometimes, people can't attend formal classes. Create a flyer that reminds people
of informal ways they can learn in their everyday lives.
Chapter 9
72
Knowledge and education can be powerful pathways to a person's dreams. Even
when people cant attend classes, there are still many ways for them to educate
themselves.
Write
Write two paragraphs about your list of ideas.
Chapter 9
73
Revise
Create a flyer that might convince community members to use some of your suggestions.
3. Where will you send your flyer? Choose a specific community audience.
4. On your own, select ideas from the master list that you will use in your flyer.
Keep your community audience in mind as you choose. What would be most
helpful to those readers?
5. How will you sequence your ideas? Choose the method which will make your flyer the most persuasive to its
readers. Here are some suggestions. You may think of others.
List your ideas, using the sequencing method you have chosen.
1. 4.
2. _______ 5_
3. __ ._ __ 6_
Chapter 9
74
8. Write your flyer.
Chapter 9
75
9. Reread your flyer. Then, evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your flyer.
Did you circle statements under O/Cand Needs Work? Look under Well Done! in
the same row to see how to improve your writing.
10. Pass around the flyers that members of the class have produced.
• Compare the ways in which flyers are organized. How many different
sequencing methods were used? Ask writers why they chose their
specific methods.
• Identify the parts of the flyers that are most effective. What makes those
parts work so well?
Create a class flyer by combining the best ideas from all of the flyers.
Chapter 9
76
Find Work You Love
Tom Henneman was a drug and alcohol addict for most of his life.
As he got older, he no longer cared whether he lived or died.Then
the kind words of a stranger made him want to change. But would
he be able to?
Chapter 10
“It's the Only Way My Life Makes Sense."
"Come on, buddy, into the car,"said the cop, as he Tom enrolled in an adult education class. But on
pulled the drunk up off the alley pavement. the night of the first class, he was almost too scared
to go through the door. I'll just make a fool of myself!
As they rode, the policeman said something to
Tom that changed his life. "You seem like a nice guy.
I'm crazy to go back to the classroom! But his dream—
and his life—depended upon it.
Do you suppose you need some help?"
Tom was tired of destroying his body. He was Tom's fears soon eased.The teachers and students
tired of having no permanent home. He'd been welcomed him. No one looked down on him for his
wandering since he'd left home at 16. The truth was past. Best of all,Tom found that he loved learning! In
that Tom no longer cared if he lived or died. high school, his grades had been mediocre. Now,
he worked hard and did well.Tom's progress made it
The next day,Tom entered a residential treatment
easier to avoid drugs and drinking. Every day it
facility. For one month, he went to meetings and
became clearer that his goal was attainable.
unburdened his heart by writing in a journal. He
wrote about growing up as one of 12 children.There Tom did become a drug and alcohol counselor!
had been a lot of drinking in his house. He also wrote Many of the troubled teens with whom he now
of his embarrassment at not having a high-school works are sullen or defiant. But some of them thank
diploma. His first step toward recovery would be to Tom after listening to his story. Tom knows that he
get that diploma. Then Tom had an inspiration: has made them aware of the choices that they are
Perhaps he could become a drug and alcohol making in their own lives.
counselor. Helping others to avoid his mistakes Tom is living his dream. He says that without his
would make his life make sense. faith and the goal of helping people, he would not
But first, he had to stay sober. Each clean day was have been able to make such progress in his life. By
a victory. His faith and his goal propelled him helping to save the lives of others, he has also saved
through those first long and hard months. his own.
Chapter 10
78
Vocabulary Exercises
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then read the sentences aloud.
1. The teenager became silent and when his mother wouldn't buy him
4. Her Spanish was just _so she couldn't understand what he said.
6. The girl stomped out of the room and slammed the door.
7. The baby himself across the room by rolling over and over.
Write the vocabulary word that makes sense in each sentence. Then read the
sentences aloud.
9. was forward by the crowd that was trying to see the movie star.
(propelled / unburdened)
12. The_ _man yelled at the crowd and raised his fist.
(defiant / sullen)
Chapter 10
79
React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
The introduction tells the reader about your topic and may mention your main
ideas. For example:
Body paragraphs contain the essay's main ideas and the details that support them.
The introduction above leads the reader to expect two body paragraphs. The first
paragraph would explain the "new world" the author finds on her walks. The
second paragraph would discuss the peaceful feeling that she gets when she is in the
countryside. See pages 5-12 to review how body paragraphs should be constructed.
Instead of stopping suddenly at the end of the last body paragraph, an essay is
brought to a close by a conclusion.The conclusion can be a summary of major points,
or it can make a final statement that emphasizes the writer's viewpoint. For example:
Chapter 10
80
Get Ready to Write
Assignment
In essay form, describe a favorite activity to an adviser or a mentor.
Tom was able to change his life because he found work that he really wanted to do.
At first, Tom didn t have the skills and the training that he needed to do the job. But
because his goal meant so much to him, he was able to stay focused and get the
training and the skills that he lacked.
What kind of work would you like to do? 1 hink of a moment when you’ve been so busy
with an activity that time just flew by. When you looked at the clock, you thought,
"Where did the time go?" Could you turn a favorite activity into satisfying work?
1. Make a list of activities that you really enjoy or are eager to try. If possible,
discuss your list with classmates or friends. Do they help you think of
more ideas?
2. Choose one activity from your list. Use the chart to list specific details that
describe this activity and why it interests you.
Activity:
Chapter 10
81
3. Decide how to organize your thoughts for the essay. In the space below,
make an idea map or group ideas by paragraph (list all the ideas for the
first paragraph, then all the ideas for the second paragraph, etc.). Plan two
to four body paragraphs. Don't worry about the introduction or conclusion
at this time.
Write
1. Write two to four body paragraphs describing the activity to a mentor or an
adviser.
Chapter 10
82
Reread your body paragraphs. Then evaluate them against this rubric. In each
row, circle the statement that best describes your paragraphs.
What specific changes can you make to your paragraphs to improve your
rating on the rubric?
Chapter 10
83
Revise
1. Plan your introductory paragraph. How will you focus your reader's attention
on the body paragraphs that you have written?
2. Plan your conclusion. How will you summarize your points and bring the
essay to a satisfying stopping point?
• Include the introduction and the conclusion that you have planned.
Make sure that the new parts fit smoothly into your essay.
• Revise the body paragraphs as suggested by your rubric review.
• Use the Editing Checklist on page 93 to help you make final edits.
4. Work with a writing partner to evaluate your essay against this rubric.
Decide together which statement in each row best describes your essay.
Circle the statements.
Discuss with your writing partner what you could do to improve your writing.
Consider showing your essay to your adviser or mentor. It might start a useful
discussion about your future plans.
Chapter 10
84
CHAPTER
11
The Good Life
Writing Skill:
* Cohesive Writing
Bernardino Alvarez, one of ten children, had to leave school after
the sixth grade to help support his family. He worked in the
Mexican potato fields for ten years.Then, he became a carpenter's
assistant. He grew skilled and joined with his brothers to
begin a carpentry business. But in 1995, the Mexican
economy collapsed. His business went under, and
Bernardino was left with nothing except unpaid
taxes. He saw no choice but to leave his family and
try to find work in the United States.
job in his new country, he was so hungry that he to survive, so he began to help him. He gave
was on the verge of passing out. Desperately, he Bernardino rides to work and lent him money. Over
made eating motions to his co-workers. time, he helped Bernardino find an apartment, get
They rushed to a grocery store.The food that they his working papers, enroll in English classes, and get
bought for him to eat made him feel very sick, or a computer.
perhaps he felt sick because of the worry, fear, and Classes at La Comunidad Hispana changed
confusion. He was an illegal immigrant and spoke Bernardino's life. He began in the level-one English
almost no English. Would he be put in jail? Could class. Over the next five years, he progressed
he survive with no money? Perhaps his plan was through all six levels. He went to work from
unrealistic. But he couldn't go back to Mexico. 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m„ and then, without fail,
There was no way for him to earn a living for his attended classes every evening. With his teachers'
family there. encouragement, he earned his GED and studied
He had to do this. Tomorrow will be better for me, computers. "I worked with all my power," says
Bernardino was back on the job the next morning, Now, life is good. Bernardino owns a successful
still sick, still fearful, and still overwhelmed by the carpentry business. He has brought his family
new language and customs.That night, as he began members to join him in the United States. He
to do every night, he told himself, Tomorrow will enjoys designing houses and dreams of being an
be better for me. architect.
Eventually, tomorrow was better. His boss liked "I am happy now," Bernardino says. "Life is easier,
Bernardino's hard work and admired his carpentry and I am excited about the future."
Vocabulary
illegal - against the law designing - drawing plans for the form
or structure of something
unrealistic - unworkable; unlikely;
not realistic architect - a professional designer of
buildings
Chapter 11
86
Vocabulary Exercise
Write the vocabulary word that best fits each sentence. Then complete the open
sentences. Read the sentences aloud.
It is illegal to
1 like designing
Kueth has just arrived in the United States. He needs a place to live.
1 desperately wanted
An architect designed
7. 'Is it to think that the world could support billions more people?
It is unrealistic to
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React to the Story
Write about the story. For five minutes, write whatever comes to mind. Don't worry
about details. Just write.
Reread Bernardino's story on page 86. With a writing partner, find the point at which
the story moves from one section to another section. Where does it change from
beginning to middle, and from middle to end? How do you know?
Write the transition words that begin each of the last two sections.
Using transition words well is the key to cohesive writing. They are the guideposts
that lead the reader from idea to idea and from section to section.
Chapter 1
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Get Ready to Write
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Bernardino sees the United States as a land of opportunity. Do you agree with him?
State your opinion in an essay. Give specific reasons to support your view.
1. First, think about the question. What are you being asked to do? This question
specifically asks for reasons to support your opinion.
2. Discuss the question with a writing partner or group. Explain to each other
why you think as you do.
3. Decide what opinion you will present. Write that opinion in the top box of the
idea web below.
4. Why do you have this opinion? Write one reason for your opinion in each
of the idea web's reason boxes. Choose convincing reasons to make the
strongest argument you can.
6. How will you end the essay? Make notes in the conclusion box.
Write
Draft your essay on a separate piece of paper. Follow your idea web. Include an
introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Chapter 1
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Revise
1. Review what you have written.
Keep your reader in mind. Will that person be able to follow your reasoning
easily? If not, try to understand why.
Reread your essay. Then evaluate it against this rubric. In each row, circle the
statement that best describes your essay.
What specific changes can you make to your essay to improve your rating on
the rubric?
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Chapter 11
91
3. With a partner, edit your essay carefully. Use the Editing Checklist on page 93.
Make changes on the essay itself.
4. This essay assignment is similar to the essay you will be asked to write if you
take the GED Language Arts essay test. Try evaluating your essay against the
GED Essay Scoring Rubric on page 94.
• First, with the class or a partner, read through the GED Essay Scoring
Rubric. How is it similar to the rubrics you have been using? How is it
different?
• Work with a partner. Review both of your essays against this rubric. In
each row, decide together which statement best describes each of your
essays. Circle it.
• Although you may find it helpful to use the GED Essay Scoring Rubric in
this way, people who score GED essay tests use the guide differently.
They look at whole essays, not essay parts. Every essay is given just one
score between 1 and 4 for the test. A 2 or higher is a passing score. With
your partner, decide where on the GED scale your essays fall.
With your class, discuss whether the United States is a land of opportunity. Tell the
class why you hold your opinion. Give the reasons that you included in your essay.
Listen to the opinions of others.
Last Word
Review the portfolio that you have created as you worked through this book.
Notice your progress! You have been using the best method for learning to write
well—writing, thinking about your writing, revising it, and then writing some more.
Write! Revise! Succeed! May your writing skills help you to fulfill your dreams.
Chapter 11
92
Editing Checklist
Mechanics
_ I capitalized the first word in every sentence.
_ I spelled all words correctly. (Check carefully for commonly confused words
like they're, their, there;your,you're; its, it's; etc.)
Grammar
_ Each of my sentences is a complete thought with a subject and a verb.
There are no sentence fragments in my work.
_ Subjects and verbs agree in number (singular subject, singular verb; plural
subject, plural verb).
Style
I varied the lengths of sentences I wrote. Some are long, some are short,
and some are medium in length.
I chose clear, interesting, colorful, precise words and made sure that they
were appropriate for my audience. I avoided vague, overused words and
cliches.
Editing Checklist
93
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Glossary
Viridiana Ramos
Montebello Adult School
Montebello, CA
Richard Evans
Tom Green County Adult Literacy Council
San Angelo,TX
Jason Donaldson
Kennedy-King Community College Adult Education Program
Chicago, IL
Cynthia Brooks
GECAC and Stairways CareerLink GED
Erie, PA
LaDonna Taltoan
Lancaster Lebanon Intermediate Unit #13 Family Literacy Program
East Petersburg, PA
Arlene Cianelli
No program - self-study
Wennik Watson
Onondaga Cortland Madison BOCES GRASP Program
Liverpool, NY
Daniel Juarez
Elamilton - Fulton - Montgomery BOCES
Amsterdam, NY
Ramona Linan
Watsonville/Aptos Adult School
Watsonville, CA
Tom Henneman
Lassen Adult School
Susanville, CA
Bernardino Alvarez
La Comunidad Hispana
Ken nett Square, PA
c i
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• revise
• produce a final version
• share your work