Barks and Bites 2021

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BARKS & BITES: Post-APUPtalyptic RPG Adventure

– written by Ivan Dellinger (capybaraz.itch.io) – 2/11/21 – 9/22/21

based on the game Lasers & Feelings by John Harper (onesevendesign.com)


The apocalypse happened a while ago, but as a dog this means very little to you. There are humans
struggling to rebuild some semblance of a society amid the ruins of their old civilization, but to you
everything is hunky-dory as long as you can get your teeth on some kibble, get some belly rubs or find a
bit of animal feces to roll in. However, there will be a problem. It is up to you and the other members of
your pack to put your dog brains together and solve it.
In order to do this you must:
1: Pick a number between 2 and 5. This is the number that will determine how good you are at barking
(mental situations, problem solving, deduction, etc.) and biting (physical situations, brute force,
athleticism, etc.). A high number means you’re better at barking, a low number means you’re better at
biting. Roll 1d6 to perform difficult actions, add 1d6 if you are prepared or an expert in the action you
are taking to a maximum of 3d6. This is how many chances you have to roll successfully.
If you roll your number exactly, this is an automatic success. It is recommended but not mandatory
that you exclaim, “Doggone!” when this happens. Your GM may also choose to give you a special
insight into the situation.
BARKING: ROLL LOWER THAN YOUR NUMBER --- BITING: ROLL HIGHER THAN YOUR NUMBER
2: Describe your dog however you want by using the table below, or come up with your own
descriptors with GM approval.

SIZE DISPOSITION CLEANLINESS MOTIVATION


Big Vicious Dirty Obsessive
Medium Timid Ragged Distracted
Small Driven Groomed Obedient
Teacup Lazy Pampered Mischievous

3. Name your dog. This can be what the dog thinks of them self as or what humans call them.
4. Determine your health. If your number is 2, your health is 5. If your number is 3, your health is 4. If
your number is 4, health is 3. If your number is 5, your health is 2. This is how many times you can get hit
before you die. All dogs go to Apocalypse Heaven.
GM: Roll on the following tables to create a scenario and environment for your Pack to deal with, or
make up your own.

Population Environment Technology


Dense (humans plentiful) City (resources plentiful) Low (petroleum and gunpowder)
Sparse (humans scarce) Wilderness (resources scarce) High (fusion and lasers)
A Threat Wants to So The Pack Must
The Dog Catcher Kidnap Dogs Free a Friend
The Chaos Engine Eat Dogs Destroy an Enemy
Cats Enslave the Dogs Escape Captivity
Large Mutant Rats Destroy a Rare Cache of Kibble Defend Their Home
Psychic Cats Invade the Pack’s Territory Get Belly Rubs
Capitalists Neuter The Pack Sleep, Eat, Survive
NAME:________________________________
NUMBER:_____________________________
HEALTH:______________________________
PORTRAIT:

Size Disposition Cleanliness Motivation


Big Vicious Dirty Obsessed
Medium Timid Ragged Distracted
Small Driven Groomed Obedient
Teacup Lazy Pampered Mischievous

Notes:
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_____
THANK YOU:
Ari, Paul, and Tommy, the goodest boys
Jim and Jesse for proofreading this and others
Zack M, my first customer
John Harper for Lasers & Feelings
Jenna for putting up with me

And most of all, Thank YOU for checking out Barks & Bites! If for whatever reason you didn’t get this
from my Itch page, you can find more Barks & Bites content as well as other games I’ve designed here

CONTACT, WATCH AND SUPPORT THE AUTHOR:


hungry.fools@gmail.com
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