The

Cara
van
165
Running A Caravan
The caravan is a group character for the players, a joint mobile base PCs
of operations. Overleaf is a caravan sheet for the players to manage. List the players’ characters and their usual roles in the caravan.
You don’t need a caravan to travel the UVG, but it’s a good idea. Common roles include expedition leader, navigator, captain of the
guards, chief negotiator, mechanic or animal handler, and doctor.
Money (Cash)
Cash (€) is the currency of the UVG. It’s called cash as a nod to Helpers
ancient Chinese cash (文) and the whole Marco Polo meta-theme. Helpers are secondary characters with specialized skills: navigators,
An unskilled laborer earns €1/day. Lower denominations exist, but cooks, mechanics, guards, hunters, scouts, etc.. Unless otherwise
can generally be ignored at the scale of caravans. Letters of credit specified, a helper’s weekly wages equal their €6 per level.
made out by private butcher banks are also available.

Outfitting a caravan is expensive. The PCs should start with a loan

of €1,000 per character. The financier is dubious and there’s 100%
annual interest, but it beats scrabbling for pennies. Caravans rack
up weekly expenses from wages, food, and more. Don’t worry about
precision—an approximate track of ready cash depleting suffices.

Financier (Patron)
Create this NPC together with the players. The zanier, the better.
Ask the players in turn about the patron’s goals, the organization,
opponents, weaknesses, oddities, and so on.

Logo
Every adventuring-trading company needs a cheesy logo. When the
players decide to change it later, it costs 1d6 x €100 in random fees.

Assets
This section helps track the heroes’ investments in trade routes and
other shenanigans. Use the table on p.XX to generate returns.

Time
Time, besides money, is the other key constraint on caravans. Travel
is nearly impossible in winter, and the heat is oppressive in summer.
Have the players give each year a memorable name.

Speed
Fast (fresh horses) and slow tags (heavy wagons) cancel each other
out. The speed score represents additional tallies (days) added to
the time track, or tallies from Misfortune and exploration negated.

Traveling the Back Roads

If a caravan travels slowly and cautiously, they tally an extra 7 days
every week, but have bonuses on their travel tests (misfortune,
encounter rolls, avoiding notice and ambushes). However, they do
have to roll twice, so there’s that.

Consumption
How many supplies the caravan consumes each week. For simplicity,
humans consume a sack of supplies each week, herbivorous mounts
subsist by grazing and foraging, but consume a sack of supplies each
week in wastelands. Vehicles burn a sack of fuel per week. Magical
creatures, such as golems and the undead, require no supplies.

166 The Caravan

 CARAVAN
SHEET - FRONT

Running A Caravan 167

 CARAVAN
SHEET - Back

168 The Caravan

Inventory and Sacks
How do you convey how horrible it is to carry lots of gear long The pleasure of Treasure
distances without a hover-wagon, without strangling the players Regardless of whether you award xp for treasure recovered or not,
with the classic pounds and packs as their heroes slog across a giant heroes will try to make away with rare treasures like the insidious
savanna for months at a time? As with time, we change the scale for crystal omphalos of Last Fish Heaven (€4,500, 3 sacks). How much
the rigors of trans-continental travel. are treasures worth? You can either decide based on your rough
estimate, a hero’s Charisma test, or a flat d00 roll.
UVG uses sacks as a unit of measurement of the unwieldiness and
weight of things, not literal sacks. They could be barrels, crates, d00 Rough Idea Charisma Test Cash Per Sack
bales, whatever. How much is a sack? A sack is: 01–50 Uncommon 1–10 €50
» All of a hero’s adventuring or professional gear. Magic skulls 51–80 Valuable 11–15 €250
of memory for wizards, a year’s supply of swordmaceaxes for 81–98 Rare 16–19 €1,000
fighters, golf clubs for the thief, whatever. 99–00 Exceptional 20+ €5,000
» A sack of supplies. Enough food, water, camping gear, and toilet 00/0 Unique 20/20 €25,000
paper to survive for a week. Bad quality supplies cost €2/sack,
good ones €10/sack—or more the deeper they are in the wastes! Treasure is Heavy
» One rider or unconscious human. If the heroes come across a series of beautiful crystal sculptures
» A unit of trade goods. with diamond eyes, why do they hack out just the eyes? Space.
» €2,500 in coins.
Any time a treasure or item is described with fancy words add a sack
For simplicity, a sack is roughly as many neatly bundled pounds, to its size for every relevant word. Add sacks for heavy materials,
stones, or inventory slots as an average character can carry. Unusually fine workmanship, intricate mechanics, cyclopean architecture—
strong or large characters may be able to carry multiple sacks. just pile it on.

Units and Encumbrance Example: the fabulous gold and marble statue of the metaphysical
insinuation of being by Jeerida the Artistique is worth €6,000 and
1 sack = 10 stones = 100 soaps = 2,500 cash takes 6 sacks of inventory (thus: €6,000, 6 sacks) to transport safely.
» Sack: basic caravan inventory unit.
» Stone: a tenth of a sack, also a generic significant item, like a So Hack It Up
sabre or spear or shield or shovel. About 15lbs. A smart (philistine) hero can hack out 1d6 + Level percent of a trea-
» Soap: a hundredth of a sack, also a generic small item, like a sure’s value in one turn. This will reduce the value of the rest of the
signal whistle or signet ring or spike. Or bar of soap. work by 10x that amount in percent.
» Cash (€): one standard unit of currency.
Example: Pikker the Peng-Ling rolls 5%, gouges out the gold bits for
A human’s inventory limit is 7 + Strength stones’ worth of items €300, and pockets them. The remaining defaced sculpture is now
or one packed sack (10 stones). For every stone over their limit, a worth 50% less: €3,000. Yeah, looters are not nice.
human suffers -1 to all rolls.

A package is easier to carry than loose objects, hence the difference

(and for simplicity at the caravan scale). Pouches and bags do the
same for soap-sized items. Drawing a weapon from a package in the
heat of battle is not feasible. Dropping a package with fragile goods
(like sanguine porcelains or jay needles) may damage them.

Players will come up with weird ideas for rigging up rollers, ropes,
and pulleys to drag heavy things long distances. This is good.
Encourage them.

Running A Caravan 169

Time, What is Time
What the hell have you gotten yourself into? How Far Is Very Far Away?
What about precise distance? Only worry about details like miles on
The UV Grasslands are big. They’re weird, sure, but first and the scale of individual encounters and locations. For the scale of the
foremost they are mind-bogglingly big. Vast and empty—it’s that Grasslands, time is a better experiential measure of distance.
emptiness that kills heroes because it means there’s no wishing well
to drink from and no turnip farm to plunder. Distance Who Travels That Far This Makes Heroes
1 day Local farmer selling a cow for beans. Nothing special.
Rounds, minutes, and turns work for the exploration of dungeons 1 week Local traders. Students off to the big city. Traveled.
or ruins, while hours and days are fine for overland travel and the 4 weeks The farthest bulk caravans go. Adventurous.
exploration of terrain hexes. When traveling in the UVG, a week is 8 weeks Armed caravans with luxury goods. Explorers.
the basic unit of activity to drive home how far apart everything is. 16 weeks Embassies. Pilgrims. Nomad caravans. Famous explorers.
32 weeks This is beyond the edge of the known Legendary explorers
Every week of travel: world for practically everybody. with epic stories.

1. Remove one sack of supplies per human-sized person from The farther heroes travel, the more renowned they will be in their
the caravan inventory. home towns, and the more valuable their stories.
2. One hero rolls for misfortune. A different hero tests each week.
3. Check what encounters happen and resolve them. The use of Days
4. Any heroes that did not participate in a fight or flight can treat Heroes traveling the UVG will also find uses for days, particularly
the week as a long rest. for taking short rests to recover an expended daily ability or 1d4
5. Check if the caravan has arrived at a destination. Most desti- Life, roughly exploring a point of interest, observing a new creature,
nations are a week apart but some require two, or even three, mucking around a destination, and, most crucially, dying of thirst.
weeks of voyaging in the wastes. If the caravan has not yet
arrived at a safe location repeat steps 1 to 5 until it does. Tally extra days accrued from Misfortune, exploration, and other
6. When the caravan arrives at a destination, one hero makes a miscellaneous events until they reach a full week. Then repeat steps
moderate relevant test for discoveries and notes any on the 1 to 3 (no rest) and reset the tally.
map. These are points of interest a few days’ journey from the
destination. There are a limited number of discoveries avail- A caravan is slowed down when the animals are encumbered,
able at each destination. passengers are sick, it is using slow vehicles, or can be described by
Instead of traveling a caravan may stop for a full week. any other word that feels slow. At the beginning of every week tally
an extra day for every applicable condition and adjective. Thus an
When a caravan is stopped in the wilderness each hero may take encumbered (1) caravan with sick (2) heroes using slow (3), heavy (4)
one of the following actions before step 1: wagons starts every week by tallying four extra days.
» Forage for supplies: with a moderate relevant test they gain
one sack of supplies. Difficulty varies depending on how plen- A caravan is fast if everybody is mounted, has an exceptional guide,
tiful the wildlife is. is using excellent steeds, or fast golem vehicles. Every applicable
» Care for another character: they fully recover a damaged attribute condition negates one tally per week—leaving more time for
and gain advantage on tests vs. illness and poison. exploration. Even a fast caravan cannot travel a 1-week distance in
» Set an ambush: prepare a trap to waylay other travelers or to less than one week—they are just traveling at an optimal pace.
gain advantage in a hostile encounter.
» Study: probe ancient artifacts, scrolls, or items to figure out Rest and Recovery
how they work, learn a new spell or skill. In keeping with the emphasis on weeks, a long rest takes one week
» Hide the camp: advantage to avoiding encounters. and each hero recovers only one of the following:
» Their full Life (hit points or health in some systems).
If the caravan is stopped at a destination each hero may also: » One stat (ability score or other similar attribute).
» Explore further for additional discoveries. » Their entire fatigue track (it’s called rest for a reason).
» Buy and sell trade goods. » From one harmful effect (death, soul removal, and so on).
» Every hero may pay expenses for lodging and food rather than
consuming sacks of supplies and, in some places, even buy addi- When a hero is cared for by another character they recover one
tional sacks of supplies. This action is free. more attribute per week.

170 The Caravan

Misfortune
Misfortune: Luck of the Road
Voyages can be summarized as long periods of boredom punctu-
ated by moments of terror and loss. [Mis]fortune and encounters
simulate this. They deplete the resources of the voyagers, threaten
their survival, and provide vital colour to the environment. Each
area of the UVG has its own perils.

Every week of traveling, a different player rolls to see what bad luck
has befallen the caravan. Misfortune applies to the whole caravan,
but characters test individually to avoid the worst outcomes (like
contracting a horrible disease).

d20 General Travel Misfortune and Misery

1 Horribly lost (-1 week).
2 Contracted a debilitating disease (-3 stat points).
3 Drought-afflicted land without fodder. Each animal needs a sack of
supplies. Starvation follows if there is not enough.
4 Vicious food poisoning (- 1d6 Life), humorous side effects.
5 Floods wash away road (-1d4 days).
6 Contracted a loud, attention-grabbing cough (need medicine).
7 Storm blows away loose items, soaks documents (-1 item).
8 Weevils or dust rats get into supplies (-1 sack).
9 Pack animal wanders off (-1 day or -1 animal).
10–11 A piece of equipment has worn out (useless until repaired in town).
12 The road is dusty, long, and dull. Boredom grows.
13 The road is exhausting but … hey … wait … what’s that? A risky
gamble to acquire some unexpected resources? Spend 1d6 Life to
attempt a moderate test to gain 1d4 supplies.
14–19 The road is arduous, but due to good packing and a few travel
games, it is manageable.
20+ Your understanding of the steppes grows, advance one step towards
acquiring a UVG wilderness skill, like Mule Whispering, Steppeland
Protocols, or Storytelling.

Misfortune Modifiers
The referee can provide a bonus or penalty to the roll.

Example Caravan Circumstances Modifier

Took every precaution, blessed by local god-analogues. +4
Experienced guide, good equipment. +2
No maps, poor equipment, in a rush. -2
Woefully unprepared, panicked flight, lost. -4

Charisma and Fortuna

A character can spend one point of Charisma to re-roll their misfor-
tune. The concept of Charisma comes from Ancient Greek, where
it referred to grace and bestowed by capricious deities. This wasn’t
some approximation of “sex appeal” or “leadership potential.”
This was straight up divine favoritism. A hero could be a complete
dirtbag but her divine mother had dipped her in god ju-ju and given
her teflon skin. Others got the plague, she was untouched. Others
got scarred, she glowed with beauty and grace. Classical Charisma is
utterly unfair which is why it works so well as a proxy for luck.

Running A Caravan 171

Destinations and Discoveries
The UVG is a pointcrawl—this is a bit of jargon to distinguish it Discoveries
from a hexcrawl. All it means is that in the UVG you have a series of Discoveries are interesting locations within a few days journey of
known locations (“destinations”) connected by a network of routes. an existing destination, which are new to the heroes. When heroes
You can see them clearly on the suspiciously minimalist long map arrive at a new destination, one hero makes a moderate relevant
of the grasslands. test for discoveries. Have heroes take turns, so it is not always the
same character making discoveries.
Destinations
Destinations are main nodes of the UVG pointcrawl on the big map, Limit the number of possible discoveries per destination to five or
safe-ish known locations on the trade and travel network from the less, unless you want a very cluttered map. Each discovery visited
Violet City to the Black City. Some of them are cities, some are ruins, and given a touristic once over (1 day spent on site) is worth some xp.
some are just famous landmarks. Each route between two destina-
tions has a label indicating how long the average caravan takes to Discoveries near your destination
cover it. Some destinations have facilities where heroes can trade, d20 Relevant Test (Usually Thought)
rest, resupply, or even stay at a guest house of some sort and use 1 Nothing but blank stares, but 1d6 days after leaving, the heroes get to
them as temporary bases of operation. experience an honest-to-goodness bonus ambush encounter.
2–3 Nothing interesting nearby, but [-] on the next encounter check.
4–10 Dust and haze and broken dreams, that is all.
Give the players a copy of the map of the UVG. It will help them
11 Nothing here, but there’s this amazing place near the next destination.
imagine how far they are going and what they can discover.
12–15 The locals mutter and nod, ah. A visitor. Another foreign “discoverer.”
Encourage them to write and make notes on their map. Although
Note down one discovery.
this is a group asset, it is also an inventory item, and should be
16–19 In the silences. In the gaps in conversation. In the forgotten words
carried by a character. Warn the players that storms or fires may there is a map. Two discoveries.
destroy their map, and that they might want to make backup copies. 20+ The locals no longer read the old manuals or the old stelae in the
crypts of their founders, but here is a dark clue. Three discoveries.
Near destinations travelers and locals congregate, strange omens
coexist with decayed signposts, and messages inhabit curiously When they discover new locations, note them on the map and how
forgotten bottles. In short, there is information, and some of that many days it takes to reach them. The precise location is not crucial,
information may let heroes make discoveries. but players will usually ask, so give them a d6 and a d8 to roll.

You can expand your game world north and south from any point Where is the discovery?
on the big map. d6 How Far Away? d8 Which Way?
1 A mere day. Maybe less? 1 West, towards the Black City.
2 Two days. 2 Southwest.
3 Three. 3 South, towards the Cyan Sea.
4 Four. Getting the idea? 4 Southeast, to the Red Mountains.
5 Five. 5 East, towards civilization.
6 Six. This is redundant. 6 Northeast, to the Moon Mountains.
6/6 A full week away. 7 North, towards the Silent Forest.
6/6/6 Right here! Hidden! 8 Northwest, towards the Flesh Coast.

172 The Caravan

What if it All Goes Wrong?
The Ultraviolet Grasslands are a harsh place for a human body. Out of Supplies
Strange radiations, polluted water, and hunger can all be lethal. When a caravan is out of supplies, bad things happen quickly.
That is why caravans carry supplies. A sack of supplies is an
abstraction of the food, water, camping gear, video games, gum, 1. Out of air: After 3 minutes, coma and death follow quickly.
prophylactics, nylon stockings, and toilet paper a human needs to Rare humans may last as long as 10 minutes underwater, and
survive for a week. with pure oxygen one might last 20 minutes. As a rule, after 7
minutes most humans without air will be dead or dying.
How Not To Starve 2. Out of water: After 3 days without water, most humans are in
Running out of supplies is bad. Waiting until things are very bad can severe distress: weak, dizzy, hallucinating, with organs starting
be terrible. Sometimes the weak must be sacrificed for the strong. to shutdown. After 7 days, most humans without water will be
dead or dying.
1. Cannibalise the expedition. This is the fastest way to get 3. Out of food: After 3 weeks without food, most humans will be
supplies. A human provides one sack of supplies, an ordinary weak and sick with hunger. As long as they have water, some
pack animal provides two sacks of supplies. humans can last over two months without food. Still, after 7
2. Forage for supplies. Instead of traveling, the caravan spends a weeks without food, most humans will be dead or dying.
week securing water, food and shelter. Usually, a week’s foraging
will net enough supplies for that week and another week of It may help to think of this as the rule of 3 and 7. After 3 units of time,
travel. In very harsh environments this may not be so easy. a human is in very bad shape, after 7 units it is probably finished.
3. Buy more supplies in a settlement. Obviously. Prices vary, but Other species may be more or less resilient, but the referee should
between €2 and €10 per sack is reasonable. use humans as their baseline.

Some inhabitants of the Ultraviolet Grasslands frown on canni-

balism. Foraging makes for slow travel, which isn’t ideal when a
caravan has places to be—it is best to treat foraging as a stop-gap
while a few fast travelers seek out help.

Running A Caravan 173

Trade & Goods
Trade is a big reason to go into the vast UV Grasslands, and trade is Local Special Needs
very simple: buy dear, sell cheap. Erm. Sometimes the characters need a bit of a push. Wherever they are,
there will always be some local character with a glowing golden
Market Research question mark with a business opportunity.
Yes. The characters can perform market research.
d10 They want ... ... Because
» 1 day: character finds out the price of a trade good in an 1 Basic staples, water, or fuel. The crops have failed. Again.
adjacent destination. 2 Rare delicacies, fine wines. A grinding war of attrition.
» 1 week: character finds out the price of a trade good in a chain 3 Illegal drugs or medicines. A penultimate reincarnation party.
of three adjacent linked destinations. 4 Live animals. Or humans. Spiritual plague is shutting minds.
5 New machines. Golems. A nearby autofac has died.
For each destination, make a market roll: 6 Gems, jewelry, gold. A fresh addiction. Very convenient.
7 Tecknowledge. Old books. A jubilee demands everything new.
Price 8 Construction materials. A local demiurge demands it.
d20 Factor Notes 9 Strange arcane resources. Raids have left the settlement bereft.
1 0 It’s taboo. Nobody talks about it. Like it doesn’t exist. There 10 Weapons. Vehicles. Armors. A rich seam of artifacts was dug up.
certainly isn’t a local morality cult that murders dealers.
2 0 No demand or brainwashing? They don’t want it at all.
But there is always a catch, and usually quite a journey.
3–6 0.5 Low demand.
7–12 1 Normal market.
d10 The catch is ... ... and the Destination
13 1 Depressed market. Haggling checks at a disadvantage.
1 There’s a bomb in the cargo. An adjacent, well-known destination.
14–15 2 Popular but illegal. Stiff penalties for captured dealers.
2 The cargo is secretly faulty. A nearby (2–3 stops) destination.
16–17 2 High demand.
3 Local patrols demand bribes. A far away (4–6 stops) destination.
18 3 Market bubble! 1 in 6 chance per caravan visit that the
4 Problem with the paperwork. A small, hidden settlement (2–3 stops).
market has collapsed (roll 1d10 on this table).
19 4 The motherload! You’re really in business now. 1 in 6 5 Thieves are stalking the cargo. An illegal camp on the road (2–3 stops).
chance per caravan visit that the market has readjusted 6 A competitor is racing to sell X marks the spot a week off the road
(roll again on this table). at the same location. Hurry! (1–3 stops away).
20 1 Source! They make the trade good here. Buyers make 7 A third party wants to ensure A discovery, here, it’s famous. I’ll mark it
haggling checks at an advantage, sellers at a disadvantage. the delivery fails. on the map for you (1–3 stops away).
8 The cargo is stolen. And Another caravan, it passed through here
someone scary wants it back. 2 weeks ago. It’s slow. You can catch it.
Buying and Selling the Goods 9 The local character is in A lone traveler. Ask at this totally legal
When characters arrive at a destination they can negotiate a deal. cahoots with armed bandits. watering hole 2–3 stops away.
10 The drop-off is under A dangerous discovery, off in the wilds,
surveillance. Make the a few days from here. Make yourself
» 1 day: character finds a merchant and negotiates a deal. Roll on
delivery ... discreetly. scarce after the delivery.
the haggling table.
» 1 week: character schmoozes, boozes and wines for 1d6 x 100
cash, then has advantage on the haggling roll.

When selling multiply the price by the factor, when buying divide.

Haggling Table
d20 Factor Interesting Note
1 0 Local authorities (or thugs?) confiscate the goods!
2–5 0.5 Ripped off! Was it knives in the milk or the fine print?
6–13 1 A fair and reasonable sale.
14–17 1.2 A solid, profitable sale.
18–19 1.5 A good trade. Anyone should be proud.
20+ 3 This might be almost too good. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to
quickly skip town now...

174 The Caravan

Thirty Ultraviolet Trade Goods (d30)
In practice, thirty trade goods are too many to keep track of. Focus on the ones you and your players are interested in and track those on the
map and the caravan sheet. The production costs of the goods represent their purchase price per sack at source, local prices will vary. Some
of the trade goods are also useful in smaller quantities, from jugs (tenths of a sack), to sachets (hundredths), or whatever.

d30 Trade Good Description Use Source Cost

1 Alchemical lubricants Various wet things that keep machines running. Required by mechanomancers & engineers. Iron Road €100
2 Beast egg masses Fleshy, squishy, and fickle. Keep in cooled vats to Biomancers have advantage when growing Forest of Meat €500
prevent from spoiling. these into new servitor creatures.
3 Bone-work Moldable or editable chunks of raw bone, still warm Beloved of necromancers and bone wizards. Behemoth Shell €200
with bone-sculpture. Useful for prosthetics and cosmetic body work.
4 Chitin cap Sheets and rods and fibres of chitin grown from the An important component of buildings and Fallen Umber €100
Umber fungoid bio-mantics. Once more common. autogolems.
5 Common intoxicants Drugs like cat coffee (Violet City), felix whizz, and Make life more tolerable for the poor and Various €2,000
purple haze. Broadly tolerated, like tea is today. bereft. Often weakly addictive.
6 Cosmic scales In different shapes and colours, iridescent and rare, Rich Rainbowlanders craft suits and capes Forest of Meat €600
there must be mines near the Dark City. with them, twinkling as they go.
7 Dryland coral seeds Incredibly vulnerable and have to be kept in sealed A valuable construction material, lets Ivory Plain €1,000
containers to protect them from the open air. petromancers grow entire buildings.
8 Gems and jewels Rare stones of ancient manufacture, rubies and Great for focusing light and making illusions. Spectrum Palace €25,000
sapphires and emeralds. Used for wands, ray guns, and toys.
9 Gold Red, white, or midnight blue. The demiurges gave It’s gold. Also useful for electromancers. Unknown €15,000
this metal many hues. Consumed, it restores lost experiences.
10 Indigo ivories From the teeth of the rare midnight beasts of the Beautiful and tough, often carved into Dark Light Passage €500
Deep West. jewelry and tools with crystal chisels.
11 Joy worms Empathic, symbiont worm-like creatures that Implanted in workers or servitor beasts, they Unknown €500
release endorphins. Popular with many masters. flood the consciousness with pleasure and
joy even during odious and boring tasks.
12 Karma dust Purified extract of the demiurges, so they say. The Removes sins, annihilates memories, purifies Spectrum Crossing €1,000
Inquisition bans karma dust with a vengeance. souls. Foils detection magics and machines.
13 Last steel Nodules of ever-warm, oily steel from the Long Ago. Smiths swear it’s almost alive. It flows to Dead Bridge €400
repair dead machines and metal objects.
14 Livingstone bricks Packed in clay, the seeds slowly petrify their Petromancers use these to grow stone art, Ribs of the Father €200
surroundings into living stone. decorations, and furniture.
15 Marrow-beet Gastropod lichen symbiote, tight in its shell. It can Protein that reproduces itself and survives Behemoth Shell €100
stay alive for months. through droughts and oxygen loss.
16 Medimagicals Ointments, potions, and implants of all sorts. Easier for doctors to fix people with supplies. Near Moon €400
17 Mounts Horses, trail birds, or whatever they breed here. They carry stuff. And themselves! Grass Colossus €100
18 Odd fruits Luminescent vavilov velvets and Cherenkov Delicious. Fresh may be more valuable. Porcelain Citadel €100
cherries, prized and delicate. Useful for activating mutagenic source codes.
19 Radiothermal fuel Poisonous rods to feed into radiothermal barrels. Food for the archaic power making machines. Black City €500
Makes golems run faster, burn brighter.
20 Rainbow silks Shifting colours woven from the silky strands of Great for colour-shifting clothes and Spectrum Palace €500
crystal spiders by the Spectrum Satraps. camouflage. Looks very expensive.
21 Rare drugs Rare and illegal intoxicants like black light lotus, cat Powerful, but strongly addictive. Sources Off-grid €10,000
snip, dog’s tail, and whiskers. must be discovered outside of destinations.
22 Replacement bodies Fine, compliant bodies—perfect for biomancy. Grown in vats, these are a cruelty-free Three Sticks Lake €2,000
alternative to body theft for Ultras.
23 Saffron Mind-altering spice made from the Yellow Land Improves cognition and boosts reflexes. Also Yellow Land €1,000
saffron plants. More valuable out West. gives everything an expensive golden hue.
24 Sanguine porcelains Mined from the deposits of older times. Unknown if Prized as a pigment or for carving. Properly Potsherd Crater €200
still manufactured anywhere. treated, it can regrow lost flesh.
25 Silver And other similar precious metals. Copper wires, Useful for alchemists and golemancers. An Endless Houses €2,000
vanadium nuts, chromium knives. important electromagical ingredient.
26 Soul-stones Highly illegal animantic containers charged with Can be used for storing souls and soles. Also Refracting Trees €10,000
distilled spirit. valued for driving synthetic creatures.
27 Ultra jay needles Rare drug from the crystal feathers of a UV bird. Used as status symbol in Rainbowlands. Unknown €25,000
Provides protection from gate sickness.
28 Vampire wines Rich and ruby red, revitalizing for they grow from More valuable further West. Vintners claim Red Land €100
source-rich soils infused with the flesh of creation. they are a valid blood substitute for many
clades of abmortal. Distilled, they may heal.
29 Vidy crystals Ancient orbs laced with eminently forgettable tales Mass entertainment. Harvested from ancient Endless Houses €500
of comedy and tragedy. ruins. Great rewatch value!
30 Weapons and armors Restricted military-grade equipment. Enough to armor and arm three elite troops. Hidden ammofacs €3,000

Trade & Goods 175

A First Caravan
Light creeps across the haze and limns the gray pearl road. Grass 4. Gear
and weed alike avoid the Long Long Ago surface, perhaps repelled The patron covers a bog-standard Pro-Hiker(TM) kit: toiletries, zinc
by the same magic that lets it glow in the dark. A wagon creaks sunscreen, tent, sturdy walking stick, Greenland army knife (1d4
into motion, trundling down from the camp-kraal. There are many damage), hat, mustache wax, kangaroo bag, schnapps and wine-
wagons like it, but this one is yours. skins, nifty cord belt, and a sturdy backpack. The hat is a (roll d6): (1)
sombrero, (2) bowler hat, (3) pith helmet, (4) fur-trimmed fedora, (5)
Well, it will be, once the loan is paid off. Setting up a caravan can bush hat & corks, (6) ultramarine tagelmust.
be overwhelming, fortunately the patron (and a kind referee) have Occupies 1 sack, Value: €50.
travelers covered with a ready-made first caravan. The first caravan
is an optional bundle that can be purchased with an initial €1,000 5. Supplies
loan (at 100% interest) from a patron. Two sacks of voyager supplies: tinned meat, travel ale, disinfec-
tant schnapps, novelty items, rough newspapers, socks, gum, and
1. Traveler prophylactics. Enough to survive in comfort for 2 weeks.
A human character. Free, not included in the loan. Occupies: 2 sacks, Value: €20.
Occupies: 1 sack, Value: €200 as a disposable slave.
6. Trade Goods
2. Vehicle Some basic goods worth €100 per sack. These are (roll d6): (1)
A classic two-wheel wicker-and-aluminum covered cart. It’s light alchemical lubricants, (2) chitin cap, (3) marrow-beets, (4) dried odd
and tough, and the canvas canopy keeps out the rain. It has (roll d6): fruits, (5) vampire wines, (6) second-hand pulp literature from the
(1) corporate paint job, (2) leaky dust-seals, (3) flag pole and flag, (4) Rainbowlands (not available for purchase deeper in the Grasslands).
plush mascot, (5) strange stains, or (6) chrome rails. Occupies: 3 sacks, Value: €300.
Capacity: 6 sacks, Value: €200, Speed: Slow.
That’s it! There’s 1 sack of capacity spare (or a fella named Spare
3. Animals Sack) and €290 left of the loan. The character can buy some things
Two pony-analogues. One for the traveler, one for the cart. They (p.XX) in the Violet City, do market research to figure out where to
are (roll d6): (1) donkeys, (2) mules, (3) actual ponies, (4) llamas, (5) sell their goods (p.XX), then head out into the Utter West and make
goatelopes, (6) loper birds. Each grazer consumes 1 sack of supplies a fortune. Come the new year, they owe their financier €2,000.
per week in deserts and wastelands. Otherwise, they take care of
themselves. Multiple PCs can each contribute their starting cart, goods, and
Each gets a name and an endearing quirk (roll d6): (1) a favorite fruit, animals to the caravan, or they can be specialists attached to the
(2) a beloved plushie, (3) a cute trick, (4) a wise move, (5) a genetic caravan (prospectors, artists, hunters, explorers, ambassadors, or
heirloom or (6) a rare pedigree. what have you).
Riding mount; Capacity: 2 sacks, Value: €70, Speed: Normal.
Draft mount; Capacity: hauling cart, Value: €70, Speed: As cart. For convenience, a caravan has one patron (at least initially). The
caravan is incorporated as a simple legal trading entity. Its symbol
is a (roll d6): (1) element, (2) vegetable, (3) vehicle, (4) animal, (5)
abstract shape, (6) emoji. Or something else entirely.

176 The Caravan

More Sample Caravans Dungeon Exploration Expedition
Value: €1,700
Poor Prospector Speed: slow
Value: €196 Capacity: 20 sacks
Speed: normal Transport: five mules, one wagon, one horse
Capacity: 4 sacks Inventory: 15 sacks (good rations), 1 sack (fortified vampire wines,
Transport: two mules €100 trade value), 3 sacks (adventure kitchen, dungeoneer’s kit,
Inventory: 3 sacks (cheap rations), 1 sack (prospector kit). excavator’s kit), 1 rider.
The bare minimum. A hero with two mules can safely travel one With lots of capacity and a wagon, this caravan can drag large
week away, spend a week prospecting or exploring, and return. statues, pieces of machinery, or a small mountain of coin out of a
dungeon. Additional warriors recommended.
Solo Scout
Value: €406 War Band
Speed: very fast (5 riders Fast Approaching)
Capacity: 4 sacks Value: €2,670
Transport: two horses Speed: very fast
Inventory: 3 sacks (cheap rations), 1 rider. Capacity: 20 sacks
Two horses to swap between, sacrificing capacity for speed. Transport: ten horses
Scavenger bolter (1d10, far, reload 10), cavalry lance (1d12) and Inventory: 10 sacks (good rations), 5 sacks (veterinarian kit, adven-
nomad robes (+1 defense) cost an extra €125. ture kitchen, hiker kit, porter pack, extra weapons), 2 sacks (bolter
ammo, 20 magazines), 5 riders.
Plunderer This fast party of warriors can strike deep into the steppe and escape
Value: €694 quickly. All that ammo should keep enemies at bay. Five bolters,
Speed: fast cavalry lances, and robes (+1 defense) cost an extra €625.
Capacity: 10 sacks
Transport: four mules, one war horse Autogolem Thunder Rig
Inventory: 7 sacks (cheap rations), 2 sacks (adventure kitchen and (5 passengers and 3 outriders)
veterinarian kit), 1 rider. Value: €28,590
Safely travel throughout most of the Ultraviolet Grasslands, with Speed: slow (+ 3 fast autowagons)
enough animals and supplies to survive even the longest wilder- Capacity: 33 sacks + 5 cabins
ness trails. Also, a war horse is great for running away if everyone Transport: one L12 autogolem and three L4 autowagons
else is on foot. Cat rifle (2d10, far, reload 4), cavalry sabre (1d12) and Inventory: 24 sacks (good rations), 6 sacks of kit (adventure kitchen,
dryland weave (+3 defense) cost an extra €770. hiker kit, golem gear, mechanic’s chest, navigator’s suitcase, one
archaic golem armor), 3 sacks of ammo (cat rifle ammo, 30 maga-
Small Trader zines), 5 available sacks for cargo, 8 rig riders with cat rifles (2d10,
Value: €908 far, reload 4).
Speed: normal One heavy golem rig as the heart of the group and three fast wicker
Capacity: 10 sacks autowagons to maneuver around and do a full-on road warrior
Transport: five mules adventure. Mounts for additional heavier weapons on the auto-
Inventory: 4 sacks (cheap rations), 5 sacks (fine tubers, €500 total golem rig are optional. Dagger axes (1d8) and spiked leather armors
trade value), 1 sack (UVG hiker kit). (+2 defense) for the whole crew would add another €520.
A small trader could reach a destination two weeks away. It’s risky
going without any guards, but the potential for profit is large.

Your First Patron

d10 Who Are They? What Do They Want? Their Organization Their Opponents Weaknesses and Oddities
1 Hexad RLD smuggler Money and respect Ruthless incorporation Disgruntled nobles Communicates through telepathy.
2 Vintner lord’s butler Willing blood-donor serfs Aristocratic moiety Organized proles Uses a synthetic body-replacement.
3 Metropolitan banker Infinite cash Butcher investment fund Oppressed dogheads Has many clones. Sends them as agents.
4 D.W.A.R.F. industrialist Rebuild oldtech factory Synthetic machine guild Anti-machine fanatics Wears a modular face replacement.
5 Safranj merchant baron Destroy foe. Financially. Family company. Mob? Pro-machine cultists Always levitates 10cm above the ground.
6 Blue cult revolutionary Get a secret weapon Collective temple hive Occultist imperialists Uses detachable limbs to deliver missives.
7 Cat witch faction leader Acquire forbidden magic Cat-first society Savage capitalist scions Appears only as a hologram.
8 Academic high priest Create the best museum University militant Voidwalker Ultra cell Permanently integrated in a building.
9 Steppe clan leader Assimilate foe. Vomishly. Vome-slug rebel cell Steppe horde khanate Can download mind-copies into vehicles.
10 Secret abmortalist True immortality Medical coven Satrap-Prince heresy Requires a steady diet of illegal delicacies.

A First Caravan 177

The Caravan's Secret Quest
If trading and exploring isn’t enough, these secret quests may 7. Assassination. A (d6): (1) master assassin, (2) rogue pretender,
give additional incentives for travel into the half-forgotten land, (3) scary wizard, (4) important researcher, (5) beautiful gladi-
between the sunset and the stars, where the veterans of the psychic ator slave or (6) prophesied scion has escaped into the wilds.
wars still dwell, ruminating on their lost lives. Completing a quest Bring their head to the Divine President. Three clues are scat-
may net a party enough xp to gain a level. tered randomly in the first 10 destinations in the UVG. They
provide the key to the target’s true location.
1. Big Game Hunting. A wealthy gentleperson on a mission to 8. Witness the End of Time. Must deliver a bulky Long Ago
acquire seven exceptional (and bulky trophies) has commis- artifact to the Final Destination as defined by the Map to the
sioned the caravan. End of Time. The map was torn into 3 parts, each hidden at a
2. Explore Forgotten Ruins. A wizards’ community college is random destination. The End of Time is optional.
building an archaeology collection. Here, on the map, are five 9. Saving the World. The holiest of relics from the Final Place will
promising locations. avert the End of the World. A series of random destinations
3. Glorious Naturalists. A civilian scientific society seeks to leading into the Deep Grasslands holds the 3 parts of the Key
flatter its oligarch founders with new discoveries. The party is Compass to the Final Place. There is also a 1-in-6 chance that
tasked with recording nine new minerals, plants, animals, and any one of these destinations is home to an Avatar of the End
hyper-natural phenomena. (L11, angel of death) bent on ensuring the world ends. Once
4. Learn Ancient Secrets. A forbidden book documents five the Key Compass is reassembled it unlocks access to a deadly
secrets scattered around the UVG, each protected by a dungeon at the Final Place. The End of Time is still optional.
crotchety custodian. With the five secrets a wizard can spend 10. Ascending into the Sky like the Shamans of Old. The people’s
figure out how to reactivate an ancient gate, or some other myths tell of the Long Long Ago, when the Ancestors walked
powerful magic. in the stars. Following visions from the True Mother, a group
5. Diplomatic Mission. Ambassadors sent to spy on the barbar- of noble and ruthless warriors and seers has been chosen to
ians of the wilderness and foment strife. A war breaking out return to the stars and tell the tale of their oppression and bring
will be best, but three military intelligence reports will also do. the Ancestors back to the earth. Three random destinations
6. Escort Duties. Three loud, squabbling clients are headed to each hold a bulky Ladder to the Sky. Once the three Ladders
a remote destination. They are (d6): (1) bumbling aristocrats, are reunited, a Demon of Lies (L11, misunderstood) appears.
(2) over-eager dilettantes, (3) cloistered cultists, (4) pampered Inside the Demon’s head is a crystal astrolabe that points to the
merchants, (5) ivory-tower scholars, or (6) amateur archaeolo- destination of ascendance. Reaching the space port is enough.
gists. Their survival is, of course, necessary. Actual void-faring is optional.

178 The Caravan

 The
Stuff
179
Vehicles
& Mounts
Smart players quickly realize that carrying their own supplies is not Carting
a good idea. If they do not realize this tell them to get two mules Wheels are great. A creature can pull triple its normal capacity. A
each to be on the safe side. creature pulling one load can’t also carry a second load. Just no.

The vehicles in the transport table are all less cost effective than Dragging
animals. It’s hard to keep machines running in the wilderness and Using improvised stretchers, ropes, rollers or skids, a creature can
their key value is transporting big heavy things that a single mule or pull double its normal capacity.
camel couldn’t manage like magical sarcophagi, golden idols, and
glass cannons. Flying
Not a good idea because of the Purple Haze, which rots human
Energy minds. At least, that’s what natives say. Also, there are fragments of
Most vehicles burn synthetic fuel. Traditionally, this is refined with stuckforce littering the sky, an invisible cutting hazard.
from biomass with the use of biomagical eating animalcules and
alchemical vats, or with a domesticated autofac. Some remote Golem
communities even refine their dead into energy. Golem vehicles use near-inexhaustible radiothermal batteries.
» Low-Q Diesolene, “Ole Belcher”, costs €10 per sack and produces Each lasts for decades. They are popular targets for thieves.
hot, iridescent smoke. Adds the “smoke” tag to a caravan.
» Premium Guzzolene costs €20 per sack. Grazing
» Oldtech Jetolene costs €50 per sack and adds the “fast” tag to a Herbivores usually eat grass and other plants. In deserts, they
caravan. It burns white-hot and may explode engines. consume a sack of supplies per week. Common supplies cost €2 per
sack, like for humans. Camels only consume half, they’re cool.

Transport Lvl Description Capacity Speed Requires Cost

1 Human, Common-ass 0 Random laborer hired to carry some stuff. Cowardly. 1 sack normal 1 supply €7/week
2 Disposable Slave 0 Perfect for evil caravans. 1 sack normal 1 supply €200
3 Porter 1 Tough-ass professionals. 2 sacks normal 1 supply €20/week
4 Slave Porter 1 Enslaved tough-ass professional. May be resentful. 2 sacks normal 1 supply €600
5 Skeleton Porter 1 Slow but ‘ethical,’ smell-free alternative to slavery. Though … 1 sack slow necromancy €200
6 Zombie Porter 2 Very slow and a bit smelly … this necromancy stuff might bother folks. 2 sacks v slow necromancy €200
7 Pony, Mule or Camel 1 The classic solution. 2 sacks normal grazing €70
8 Combat Steed 2 A noble steed, heroic horse or charger camel. Can be ridden in combat. 2 sacks normal grazing €200
9 Metal Steed 2 Fast and flash, it roars like thunder when pushed. Might be a golem. 2 sacks normal 1 supply / 2wk €1,200
10 Adventuring Handcart 2 A glorified wheelbarrow. Requires a human (not included). Slow. 3 sacks slow a human €10
11 Wicker Autowagon 3 Fast, self-propelled golem of synthetic ivory, iron-reed, and rubber. 3 sacks fast 1 supply / 2wk €2,000
12 Magnificent Velblod 4 A true galleon of the trackless steppes. May cause motion-sickness. 3 sacks normal grazing €300
13 Wagon, Coach, or Cart 4 Slow and vulnerable, but trivial to maintain. Require a draft animal. 6 sacks slow an animal €200
14 Burdenbeast 5 Biomantically enhanced small-headed rhinobuffalo. Pretty rare. 4 sacks normal grazing €600
15 Biomechanical Beast 6 Terrifying amalgam of twitching muscle and cybernetic endoskeleton 6 sacks normal grazing €3,000
sheathed in synthetic skin. Very rare. Can be ridden in combat.
16 Road Yacht 7 The queen of the Road of the World, the Celestial Autobahn. 6 sacks normal 1 supply €4,000
17 Solid Coach or Wagon 7 Slow and heavy. Require 2 draft animals (not included). 12 sacks slow 2 animals €600
18 Generic Vech, Porcelain 9 Slow, enormous biomechanical beast. Among the most stylish biomech 12 sacks slow 1 supply / wk €6,000
or Prismatic Walker travel systems money can buy. Golem versions also exist.
19 Massive Hauling Wagon 8 Very slow. Requires 4 draft animals (not included). 24 sacks v slow 4 animals €1,500
20 Autowagon 10 Slow, self-propelled golem wagon. Armored, tough, and impressive 24 sacks slow 1 supply / wk €10,000
as heck. It drives itself safely—but beware crossing marshes or rough
terrain. Carries 2d3 passengers in ridiculous bolted-on cabins.
21 Epic Floating Barge or 4 Magical float from Long Ago, it can be pulled by a single creature (not 20 sacks normal a human or €7,500
Hover Wagon included). Very fragile and may be disabled by a single well-placed shot. animal
22 War Engine 11 It’s a tank? To eleven? Ninety tons of thunder, lighting up the night. 36 sacks v slow 2 supply / wk €20,000

180 The Stuff

Overloading Upgrading Vehicles and Mounts
Possible, but not smart. Moderate test once a week or something Customization is the name of the game. Smaller upgrades can be
goes wrong (roll d6): purchased for larger vehicles and creatures at double the cost. Some
1. Engine dies. Lose a day replacing the engine (if you have one) or upgrades might not make sense at the referee’s discretion.
pull the vehicle to a machine shop.
2. Exhausted animal. Lose 1d4 days resting or a 1-in-2 chance it
dies at the end of the week.
3. Broken axle. Lose 1d4 days to jury-rig a fix. A replacement axle
costs a tenth of the vehicle’s cost.
4. Lamed animal. It can’t carry anything for a week. Force it to
carry cargo and it will be permanently crippled.
5. Straps break. Random cargo spills. Fragile things break.
6. Random cargo crushed, loses half value. Badly packed, the
fragile black light lotus leaf is now just so much powder.

Humanoids Porter
The caravan economics of UVG strongly discourage the use of 1 sack Capacity: 2 sacks
capacity humans. They can carry useful gear or 1 supply. They can’t Cost: €20 per week. Doesn’t work on Sundays.
graze, so they’ll eat that Supply in a week, and then what? It’s just Consumes: 1 supply per week
not practical. They’re on the list to cover normal adventuring events Speed: Normal
and to tempt new players into setting off on a 2-week journey with 1 Tough professional. Skilled at packing and carrying stuff, preparing
week of supplies and some instant enemies. supply depots, and surviving in the wilds.

Porters, or anything that can carry 2 sacks (1 sack of gear, 1 sack of Slave Porter
supplies) are better, especially if they know the terrain. The cost of Capacity: 2 sacks
a Porter (€20/week) vs. a Slave Porter (€600) means that renting Cost: €600
is much better than buying. The cost is included, though, because Consumes: 1 supply per week
nefarious and shortsighted PCs might decide to raise some quick Speed: Normal
capital by hiring porters in one location and selling them in another. Like a porter, but less free and more resentful.

Human (basic) Humanoid Add-ons

Capacity: 1 sack Explosive Collar: €20
Cost: €7 per week. €6 if you don’t pay Sundays Occupies: 0 Stones if worn, 1 Stone if carried or stored.
Consumes: 1 supply per week Faced with certain death (cranial separation) vs possible death (an
Speed: Normal ancient tomb, a perilous bridge, or a desperate charge), people may
A random laborer hired to carry stuff. At the bottom of the barrel, find reserves courage they didn’t know they possessed. Collars are
there’s not much room for upgrades. Purchase and distribute usually sold in 6 packs with a matching remote. Default range is 150
weapons and gear normally. Just don’t expect to see it again. meters or so. Festive color options available.

Disposable Slave Surgical Obedience: €50, 50% chance to kill the participant.
Capacity: 1 sack With a sharpened spoon, some ultratech crystal neuron lances,
Cost: €200. strong drugs, and a bit of elbow grease, a (un)licensed neuro-
Consumes: 1 supply per week chirurge will carve away the unpleasantly disobedient bits of a brain.
Speed: Normal Survivors will cheerfully obey any order. Eat my fingers? You’ve got
Managed with threats and fear. Isn’t paid wages. Slavery is evil. it, Boss! Charge that hydratiger? I’m on it, yippee! Considered a bit
too evil by even the most jaded evil warlords.

Fabricated Backstory: €10

For a nominal cost, the Psychefactors of the Emerald City will root
through a subject’s psyche, extract their most shameful deeds,
and write a brief report. Slavery feels more tolerable if you think
the victims deserve it. Up to 20% of shameful deeds may be filler
inserted by the Psychefactor to maximize moral superiority.

Vehicles & Mounts 181

 Zombie Porter
Capacity: 2 sacks
Cost: €200
Consumes: nothing
Speed: Very Slow

Undead Zombie Add-Ons

Undead creatures require necromantic maintenance from someone Rubberized Coating: €10
with at least a community-level necromechanical degree. This is A thick layer of flesh-preserving epoxy. Sealed glass goggles and
usually nothing more than a drop or two of their master’s blood per copper ear-discs keep the smell inside while letting the zombie
week, perhaps some bolts tightened, and a fresh jolt of magielectric function at peak efficiency.
juice. When undead creatures are not maintained, they Degrade
(speed declines: Slow > Very Slow > Crawling > Immobile). Berserker Gland: €50
A mechanical combat routine jewel. Insert it into the zombie and
Sometimes a more specific defect is required (roll d6): activate it later with the remote wand, turning the zombie into a
1. Creature goes amok. Violence ensues. relentless killing machine. The activation is irreversible and the
2. Legs fall off. Well, that’s not good. zombie cannot tell friend from foe, so plan carefully.
3. Arm falls off. Capacity reduced by 1 sack.
4. Head falls off. Bit blind, but still works if roped along. Meat Crawler
5. Antibacterial preserves fail. Gets smelly. Capacity: 24 sack
6. Decay. Zombies become skeletons, skeletons fall apart. Cost: €2,000
Consumes: Nothing
Skeleton Porter Speed: Very, Very Slow
Capacity: 1 sack What do you do if you come across a plague pit and have both a
Cost: €200 necromancer and a boneworker on hand? Not this. Please, do not
Consumes: Nothing do this. Giant meat and bone centipedes are not a good idea.
Speed: Slow Unlike single-body undead, the meat crawler can go months before
Formerly, a useless nobody. Now a useful ... biomachine. it degrades enough to impede its mobility. That said, mobility was
never the point of this abomination, was it?
Skeleton Add-ons
Chrome Plating: €10 Meat Crawler Add-Ons
Say goodbye to stealth. Thoughtful bandits may mistake the skel- Dermal plating: €800
etons for combat golems, glitterdust ghosts, or something worse. Up-armored, the meat crawler is essentially immune to small arms
and any melee weapon weaker than a chainsaw.
Geometric Protocol: €20
At a shouted word of command, the skeletons assemble into a Skin tent: €200
prearranged formation or shape. With enough skeletons, a caravan A yurt of leather and sinew growing on the meat crawler’s back.
can create an observation tower, a wall, or a bone crab. Space for up to 12 humans with good nasal filters.

182 The Stuff

Beasts of Burden
In these fallen times traditional work animals, Local Variants?
like lopebeavers and honkazelles are found in d10 A Bit Like A ... Crossed With A ... And It Has Disposition
most rustic parts of the Rainbowlands. However, 1 Horse Beetle Superb night vision. Curious
for journeys into the Ultraviolet Grasslands, only 2 Camel Catfish An astonishing odor. Stubborn
tried and tested beasts of burden will do. 3 Yak Tortoise Moisture extraction gills. Disease-riddled
4 Antelope Metal Orb Sticky climbing pads. Lethargic
Pony or Mule, or Camel 5 Bison Cuttlefish Phosphorescent spots. Adorable
Capacity: 2 sacks 6 Iguana Rat Prehensile nostrils. Loyal
Cost: €70 7 Toad Pig Delicious skin parasites. Skittish
Consumes: grazing, or 1 supply per week 8 Newt Cement Mixer Vestigial wings. Cunning
Speed: Normal 9 Rhino Slug Root-digging claws. Competitive
The sensible solution for caravans since before 10 Ostrich Goat Hyper-adaptable digestion. Inscrutable
time began. Eats grass, travels over all terrain in
all weather. Also, it’s edible. Consumes supplies Animal Add-Ons
in places without vegetation or water. Babel Gem: €100
Embedded, gives the beast a voice and human-form personality
Camel overlay. Works on most beasts, but increases the chance of vomish
Capacity: 2 sacks infection. Obedience not guaranteed.
Cost: €140
Consumes: grazing, or 1 supply per two weeks Stepfall Shoes: €80
Speed: Normal Made from bits of oldtech ur-metal. When moving at top speed, the
The solution for desolate deserts. Goes further with less water. plates add a tiny bit of lift, letting the beast charge across small dips,
avoid holes, and leap majestically. They leave xenon contrails.
Combat Steed
Capacity: 2 sacks Afterburner: €60
Cost: €200 This convenient surgical upgrade stores gaseous digestive byprod-
Consumes: grazing, or 1 supply per week ucts in a small canister, for use in cooking fires or a sudden burst of
Speed: Normal speed. The speed increase may just be the result of fear.
Usually a horse or camel trained for battle. Other animals are not
willing to go near melee combat. 1-in-6 combat steeds are carniv- Plug-in Battery: €200
orous andrewarks or other strange beasts revived from deep time. Occupies 1 sack. A rechargeable golem-style battery for backup
power. The beast can go without grazing for up to four weeks (it
Magnificent Velblod still requires water). Alternatively, the battery can recharge a suit of
Capacity: 3 sacks golem armor or other oldtech artifact. Recharging the battery takes
Cost: €300 a couple of hours at any oldtech charging platform or obelisk.
Consumes: grazing, or 1 supply per two weeks
Speed: Normal
A larger, stronger, more magnificent camel. Also, needs only half a
sack per week. May be a high arctic camel.

Burdenbeast
Capacity: 4 sacks
Cost: €600
Consumes: grazing, or 2 supply per week
Speed: Normal
Magnificent, shaggy creatures, biomantically engineered to posi-
tively enjoy lugging heavy goods for humans. Many grow intensely,
emotionally attached to their human masters.

Biomechanical Beast
Capacity: 6 sacks
Cost: €3,000
Consumes: grazing, or 3 supply per week
Speed: Normal
Astonishing amalgams of muscle and cybernetics sheathed in
superior skin. These very rare creatures of the Long Ago can be
ridden in combat. Most ordinary steeds will break before them.

Vehicles & Mounts 183

Wagons, Carts, and Coaches don’t wander away from your camp in the dark.
Wheels transformed proto-human lives. The semi-simians
began moving large quantities of supplies over long distances. Chitincap Hull: €100 / €200 / €400 / €800
Truly nomadic lifestyles became possible and the humble wheel Fibrous, grown and woven components replace heavy wood. The
truly became a symbol of humanity. There would be no modern result is a lighter, but equally strong vehicle, that is much easier to
Grasslands without that ancient round machine. maneuver in mud and on poor roads.

Adventuring Handcart
Capacity: 3 sacks Metal Steeds
Cost: €10 Capacity: 2 sacks
Requires: A human. Cost: €1,200
Speed: Slow Requires: A lack of common sense.
The glorified wheelbarrow doesn’t need much of a road, but it does Consumes: 1 supply of fuel per 2 weeks
need some kind of road. Not recommended for battle. Speed: Fast
One-way tickets to organ donation. If it’s 90% engine, 8% wheels,
Small Wagon, Rickety Coach, or Swaying Cart and 2% seat, it’s a Metal Steed. No space for supplies, no room for
Capacity: 6 sacks error. Goes like the wind on fire. The best are air-breathing, like
Cost: €200 wicker autogolems, and require no fuel.
Requires: A draft animal.
Speed: Slow Metal Steed Add-Ons
A classic for a reason. Wains of this type truly opened up the steppes Gun Mount: €50
to the known Lime Nomads and the forgotten Flour Nomads. Lets the rider fire a weapon while roaring along at full speed. The
weapon must fit in the rider’s inventory. Attaching or detaching it
Solid Coach or Wagon takes 2 rounds.
Capacity: 12 sacks
Cost: €600 Sidecar: €500
Requires: Two draft animal. Increases capacity by 1 sack, but loses the Fast trait.
Speed: Slow
Heavy vehicles for big caravans. With their weight they are unsuit- Aquatic: €1,000
able for rough terrain, poor roads, and deep mud. Can take Road Sometimes, all the good loot is buried at the bottom of a lake. The
Yacht upgrades or below. vehicle can no longer operate on the surface, but it can move under-
water. It’s not a proper submarine, with rooms and torpedo tubes
Massive Hauling Wagon and all of that. It’s just a pressurized pod with an engines on it, a
Capacity: 24 sacks diving suit with attitude. The driver can wiggle their arms through
Cost: €600 thick diving gloves.
Requires: Four draft animal.
Speed: Very Slow Gyrocoptic! €1,000
How else are you going to move an obelisk? The immense weight of Flying in the Ultraviolet Grasslands is a bad idea. Bits of invisible
these wagons means they require well-prepared surfaces. Can take stuckforce shred aircraft. Purple haze rots your brain. Dormant
War Engine upgrades or below. anti-missile defense systems wake up, think “Oh, that looks inter-
esting,” and blow you out of the sky. Still it beats walking. A caravan
Cart and Wagon Add-Ons with a flying vehicle gains 30-minute advance warning against
All four sizes of pulled vehicle are a variation and elaboration on most encounters. Flying vehicles ignore terrain.
the wheel + axle + bed design. They can use the same upgrades, so
prices are listed for each of the sizes in order.

Sail: €5 / €10 / €20 / €40

Adds a tiny bit of extra speed. Not worth quantifying mechanically,
but it improves morale (especially if you pass people without a sail).
A great way to display your company’s logo.

Hull-Tight: €20 / €40 / €80 / €160

Designed to float across calm rivers. Seams caulked, wheels detach-
able, handles convertible into steering oars or push-poles.

Camo Net: €10 / €20 / €40 / €80

Not as good as true rainbow silk, but a cheap and waterproof land-
scape mimic. Lets you hide your vehicle from casual scouting. Just

184 The Stuff

Wicker Autowagon Road Yacht
Capacity: 3 sacks Capacity: 6 sacks
Cost: €2,000 Cost: €4,000
Consumes: 1 supply of fuel per 2 weeks Consumes: 1 supply of fuel per week
Speed: Fast Speed: Normal
A little bigger, a little sturdier, and a whole lot dryer in the rain. Some Back in the old days, these status symbols freely roamed the world.
are literally made of wicker, some just look that way. If you can fit 2 All the blackthumbs know their names and their vital gubbins:
people in the front seats and some cold snacks in the back, you’ve sparkulator, lightning-whirler, juicebox, caboxylator. Parts are as
got a Wicker Autowagon. Some are small enough that air-powered good as currency in some parts of the Grasslands. While some
engines can haul them, but if you can’t afford one, or you want a warriors prefer swift metal steeds or sprightly wicker autogolems,
little more oomph, fuelled engines are the way to go. the greatest Knights of the Road pilot their mighty Road Yachts.

Wicker Autowagon Add-Ons Road Yacht Add-Ons

Nitro: €50 per use Luxury Seats: €300
For up to 1 minute, the vehicle moves at Ludicrous speed. Made of genuine synth-leather (from genuine synth-cows) and
stuffed with autofabulous springs. Even fold down into a bed. Hula
Snazzy Paintjob: €100 bobble-head totem doll optional.
Shiny and polished. If normal colors aren’t good enough for you,
options include: Scarabeo, Pearl-Tone, Fordite Swirl Supreme, Air Conditioning: €500
Vantablack, Gibbon, Taupeamarine, and Splunge. Has a magic box that cools the cabin. Probably involves a bound
demon. Essential in hot climes. It’s very impressive.
Jet Booster: €1,000
Occupies 1 sack. About the dumbest idea imaginable, but the first Fridgermerator: €1,000
thing anyone tries when they find a jet engine in a bunker. For up Occupies 1 sack. Can cool up to 6 sacks of storage space. Excellent for
to 10 minutes, the vehicle moves at Ludicrous Speed. Gaps smaller transporting perishable fruit, bodies, fruiting bodies, etc.
than 10m can be safely ignored. Uses up almost all the vehicle’s
stored fuel. After firing, the vehicle has 30 minutes of safe driving Para-Radio Set: €500
left. Proper Oldtech Jetolene lets the vehicle use this ability twice on Most broadcasts these days aren’t fit for mortal ears, but you can get
one supply of fuel. echoes of tunes long past (or yet to come), coordinate with other
vehicles or settlements (weather permitting), and ... U#ERROR404.
Dropper: €300
Occupies 1 sack. The back of the vehicle opens up and drops some- Loudspeaker: €100
thing. Could be a mine, trained assassin-skeletons on rollerskates, Very loud. Blocks negative vibrations.
a bunch of oil, skulls stuffed with hornets, or just a whole bunch of
scrap metal. The sack occupied by the dropper includes whatever Big Gun: €1,500
you load into it. For an extra €100, the dropper can launch forward Occupies 2 sacks, typically 1 for the gun and 1 for the ammo, mainte-
or sideways instead, like an ejector seat or a compressed air cannon. nance equipment, and blast shields. Options include:
» Flambéur: 3d6 fire damage, Medium, Reload 6. Sets on fire.
Hover Wheels: €1,000 » Chaingun: 2d12, Medium, Reload 3. May propel a car backwards.
The vehicle floats on billowing air-jets, stuckforce discs, or dozens » Lazor: 3d8, Short, Reload 5. Can cut down small trees.
of spinning propeller blades. It’s not practical, but it is cool. Ignores
mildly difficult terrain. Turret: €500
Occupies 1 sack. Lets a Gun Mount or a Big Gun fire in all directions
Hood Ornament: €100 instead of a fixed direction. Also makes a vehicle look intimidating.
Shiny, chrome, and, in emergencies, a good thing to cling on to.
Safe: €200
Occupies 1 sack. Can hold 1 sack of valuables in a spirit-locked steel
egg. Proof against most simple thieves, pilferers, and quarterlings.

Smoke Launchers: €100, plus €10 per use

Medium range. Fills a medium-sized area with opaque smoke.
Makes shooting or boarding a caravan difficult, but tends to attract
attention. Additional colors available for a small fee.

Vehicles & Mounts 185

Generic Vech, Porcelain Leap Kit: €1,000
or Prismatic Walker Rocket-packs, nozzles, and springs let the vehicle leap up to 10m in
Capacity: 12 sacks the air while maintaining its current speed. Jumping too often will
Cost: €6,000 inflict structural damage.
Consumes: 1 supply of fuel per week
Speed: Slow Cabin Gall: €250
Tall, striking, astonishing testaments to biomancy. Living creatures Occupies 1 sack. A full-suspension sleep pod for one passenger.
modified and adapted to stride across the wastes, Excellent rest guaranteed, do not mind the wasp pheromones.

Walker Add-Ons Satraplicator: €2,000

Escape Pod: €600 Occupies 2 sacks. A medical pod with an automatic mind (or brain)
Occupies 1 sack. Lets 4 sacks of capacity (2 people and their invento- transplanter. Also has space for a ready clone. It is a clone, right?
ries) escape a wreck in the event of a catastrophic failure.
Porcelain Glaze: €1,000
Chainsaw Arm: €1,000 Occupies 1 sack. The whole vech is covered in a reflective glaze that
Occupies 3 sacks. Deals 4d8 melee damage and ignores armor. protects from lasers, lazors, and mind-altering rays.
Ponderous and inaccurate against small targets.
Full Self-Driving Autobrain Mode: €1,000
Boarding Ramp: €500 Now it can drive itself. Sometimes steps on small creatures.
Occupies 1 sack. Folds out to allow people from one vehicle to board
another, or cross a wall, or generally get into trouble. Grazer Unit: €3,000
A mechanical mouth and biomatter converter. Now the walker can
feed itself by grazing ... or recycling dead bodies.

186 The Stuff

Autowagon War Engine
Capacity: 24 sacks Capacity: 36 Sacks
Cost: €10,000 Cost: €20,000
Consumes: 1 supply of fuel per week Consumes: 2 supply of fuel per week, 3 supply at top speed (Slow).
Speed: Slow Speed: Very Slow or Slow
12 meters long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of Golden Age pride. Tour the A mobile fortress, a mobile townhouse, a scavenged autofac, or
Grasslands in style with this home away from home and show other perhaps just a very big long-haul truck. Fill it up to capacity with
traders that you’re richer than them. The autowagon has separate weapons and armor, and go conquer some poor steppelanders.
compartments, proper doors, and a very large turning radius.
War Engine Add-Ons:
Autowagon Add-Ons Armor Plating: €1,000
Water Closet: €500 Occupies 4 sacks. The vehicle ignores small arms, medium arms,
Occupies 4 sacks. Toilet, sink, and shower. Ludicrously luxurious for and glancing hits from heavier weapons.
the deep grasslands. Will impress anyone unused to plumbing.
Big Treads: Free
Carbecue Pod: €1,000 The true all-terrain solution. Cross rocks, rivers, mud, fire, flaming
Occupies 2 sacks. Room for a cook to whip up delicious fast food. rivers of mud, anti-personnel mines and smaller vehicles. The war
engine now moves Incredibly Slowly. Also, always very easy to track.
Observation Deck: €200
Useless, impractical, and very classy. If you’re going to sail across Really Big Gun: €3,000
the grasslands, a chrome-railed balcony is the place to be on a calm Occupies 4 sacks, typically 2 for the gun and 2 for the ammo, fire
Orangemonth night. prevention equipment, and earplugs. Seriously, what are you
expecting to fight out here?
Hydraulic Throne: €1,000 » Artillery Tube: 2d10x1d10, Very Very Long, Reload 20, blast.
Occupies 1 sack. Gold-plated, neon-limned, dolly-mounted autom- Ignores intervening terrain and common sense. Very loud.
echanical seat of grandeur. Larger thrones have larger cranes. Could Anything smaller than a road yacht must Save vs evaporation.
also be a giant visage with stage flame jets. » Doom Laser: 3d20, Very Very Long, Reload 10, requires 1 round
to charge before firing. Pwiiizzzzzzk!
Ram: €200
Occupies 2 sacks. Can be spiked at no extra charge. The better to Coalem Drive: €2,000
bulldoze smaller vehicles. Works on zombies, too. Occupies 4 sacks, requires 1 engineer. Boilers, furnace, maw,
scrapers, smokestacks. The war engine can now graze on any avail-
Winch, Jacks, and Shovels: €100 able biomatter, eating its way through the landscape. Coal lets it go
Occupies 1 sack. Gets a vehicle un-stuck in most conditions. a little faster. Doubles as a pizza oven.

Luxury Pod: €500 Warlock Tower: €2,000

Occupies 2 sacks. A private suite for one person and their gear. Occupies 6 sacks. A black tower of steel and rivets and chrome blades
Comes with a small writing desk, folding bed-chair, orb lamp, and rises from the middle of the war engine. It looks scary. Loudspeakers
adorable cupboards for toiletries and snacks. and light show included.

Pleasure Pod: €1,000 Trophy Room: €2,000

Occupies 2 sacks. As a luxury pod, but with IV dispensers, drugs Occupies 12 sacks. Essentially, a mobile feasting hall the size of a
cabinet (drugs not included), and additional horizontal surfaces. longhouse with room for a dozen guests.

Medical Pod: €3,000

Occupies 4 sacks. Room for 2 patients and a doctor. Proper medical
equipment, drains, ominous lights, and sterile plastic sheeting.
Healing on the road has never been this easy!

Vehicles & Mounts 187

Transport Fixes & Features
Vehicle Trouble Animal (or Human) Trouble
d20 What Broke? How Do We Fix It? d20 What’s the Matter? How Do We Fix It?
1 Sparkulators clogged. Take ‘em out & file them. 1 Threw a shoe. New shoe (and maybe a ferrier).
2 Lightning whirler isn’t whirling. Squint and twiddle some screws. 2 Perambulator tendon pulled. Long rest and light duties.
3 Fuel tube burst. Run a new one. 3 Infected spottle-fly bites. Apply soothing Liger balm daily.
4 Brakes gone. It’ll probably be fine. 4 Runny yellows from bad water. Antidiarrheals and extra water.
5 Flat tire. Get the tools, patch ‘n’ swap. 5 Noxious flatulence. Regular bleeding. Leeches?
6 Radumilator blown. Keep adding fluids on the go. 6 Secondary head growth. Surgical decapitation.
7 Fuel pump seized. Probably need a new one. 7 Sprained primary foot joint. Rest, compression, pain killers.
8 Won’t hold pressure. Time for bubblegum welding. 8 Gangrenous amoeboid cyst. Limb amputation. Or antibiotics.
9 Carbassimilator stuck. Hit it with a wrench. 9 Broken walker appendage. Needs a new leg.
10 Wheel bearings locked up. Grease and hammer. 10 Infectious omnivampirism. Daily blood rations. Or a stake.
11 Threw a belt. Find something long & stretchy. 11 Eye fell out. A fresh optic seed. Or a patch.
12 Radiothermals leaking. Duct tape time. 12 Bullet hole out of nowhere. Duck and cover! Then bandage.
13 Confuser unit ERROR. Diagnosticator red button time. 13 Sudden philosophical bent. Teach them to keep a journal.
14 Transmission goes “clunk”. Take the whole thing off. 14 Intense and constant hunger. Extra rations. De-worming pills.
15 It goes “grrtschuktuktuk.” Don’t use that gear. 15 Hair loss and vomiting. Anti-radiation medicine.
16 Thorbox won’t charge the battery. Replace it. Maybe with a Zeusbox. 16 Tremors and loss of motor control. Please visit a neuromancer.
17 Omnibattery won’t hold a charge. Chemical ritual time. 17 Dryland flu. Anti-virals and quarantine.
18 No dead dinosaur juice. Get more juice. Add more juice. 18 Vivid hallucinations. Dark glasses?
19 Hole in the metal-fragment shield. Patch it, add liquid, pray. 19 Creeping, cosmic ennui. Hide the pain, Kharold.
20 Piston went to space. Needs a full rebuild. 20 Freak cosmic ray mind wipe. Needs a new personality.

Vehicle Features
d20 Brands of Long Long Ago Dubious Features
1 Macaroni Integrale Self-threading caps
2 Atomkraftwagen Anti-tampering engine configuration
3 Spitz-Schnauzer Synchrotronic gearbox
4 Deus Machina Electric transix variator
5 Olive Garden Dilithium superfluid compressors
6 Singer Metal Humans Dante’s Gate propulsion unit
7 Void Y Microhydraulic homeostatic brain
8 <=5H1N3=> Inhalator body air scoops
9 Vanta-Chouette Anti-rapture heartbeat sensors
10 AXE Vehicle Lubricants Nine-axis suspension struts
11 Podzol Kozmos Swivel bucket seats
12 Vega Utopia Industries Gyroscopic auto-leveler
13 Barca Real ESL Automatic anti-crash foam nozzles
14 Omnisentience UI Extruded poly-chromium trim
15 Langmorgen KNVX Telepathic key systems
16 Three Ritual Extensible omniadaptors
17 Aquarius Trained underbody rust slimes
18 Maya Yuga Mercurial dimagnetic levitation bearings
19 Feltz & Filtz Ghost-bone dry-clutch
20 Sombrero Corporation Hydrophobic faux-fur seat covers

188 The Stuff

 Gear
& Services
The Violet Citadel is the last place in the Rainbowlands to buy
supplies for the long crossing. Old hands advise four tubes of
sunscreen per traveler, loudmouths suggest it’s possible with two.

“We’re going to the Black City and we don’t care if it’s supposed to Only gear and services that cost at least a day’s proletarian wages
take eight weeks, we’ll make it in four and bring enough black-light (€1) are listed. Cheaper stuff is available at the referee’s discretion,
to set us all up. Now, how many horses will you loan us?” Inge and but the expenses usually don’t have to be tracked. When a PC tries
Ingot, the bearded ambiguously dwarfish merchants glowered to buy a thousand bars of soup, or something weird like that, the
and pointed to the large sign that read, “No Lones to Adventerers, referee decides how much it costs.
Frybooters or Wagonbonds.”

Grassland General Goods

Essential Item Size Description Cost
1 Chronometer 1 sp Jeweled timepiece, with date, timer, alarm, timezone, and note-taking functions. €25
2 Clicker Box 5 sp Handheld electromagnificent radiation detector. Medium range. Picks up 17 kinds of magical and mundane rays. €50
3 Curative Snake Oil 1 sp Generic remedies against venom, bugs, parasites, diseases, rashes, and blisters. Surprisingly, actually works. €10
4 Environment Tent 2 st Protects one person from extreme heat and cold and small floods. Recycles liquids and air for up to 1 week. €100
5 Exoskelegolem 5 st A magical suit of pipes, cables, synthetic flesh, and insectile mind. Increases capacity by 1 sack. €500
6 Folding Bed 2 st Chitin cap mesh and synthetic flexi-bamboo makes every night’s sleep a joy. Faster healing. €35
7 Folding Chair 1 st Wonder of wicker pipes, mesh, and tubes. With drinks holder. Very comfortable. Makes stake-outs easy. €5
8 Glo Paint 1 st With applicator nozzle. Mark your way around Long Long Ago ruins! Bright enough to read by. €10
9 Healmachine 1 st Restores 2d8 Life to a machine. Repairs cosmetic damage to vehicle bodies. €60
10 Lamp, Iron 1 st Basic travel lamp, hooded against wind, burns oil, can be used to warm tea. Short range. €5
11 Lamp, Solar 1 sp Magic lamp of the Long Ago that eats sunlight to emit a short beam of warm light. €100
12 Lamp, Spectrum Ray 1 st Satrap crystal lamp that projects a long ray of light. Powered by tears and sunlight. Can start fires. €100
13 Multi-Auto-Tool 2 st 75 standard mechanical tools in one. Disable traps, pick locks, assemble furniture. Powered. €50
14 Musical Instrument 1 st Guitar, oud, pipa, qanbus, rubab or tambur. Its strings loosen tongues and improve moods at campfires.. €10
15 Nasal Filters 1 sp Stop horrible smells from triggering nausea. Also said to protect against some inhaled toxins. €5
16 Oculars 1 st Techno-optics with 25x zoom, laser rangefinder, and integrated ad-blocker. €50
17 Oldtech Bubble Helmet 1 st Prevents blindness. Low-light vision with 5x zoom. High dynamic range display. Recycles air for up to 1 hour. €500
18 Omnibattery 1 st Recharge anything. Once. Comes in 12 cheery colors. Collect them all. €50
19 Portable Illusion 1 st Vidy crystal projector. Plays full 9D experiences. Non-wizards may be fooled by these phantasms. Powered. €250
20 Ray Bane Navigators 1 sp Traditional UV-blocking sun glasses. Also a status symbol among experienced travelers and merchants. €100
21 Signal Flare 1 sp Glows brightly and smokes for about 10 minutes. A way of saying, “I am here!” Sold in packs of 10. €3
22 Smart Rope 1 st Wonderful rope that ties or unties itself on command. 20 meters long. Cheaper ropes available. €10
23 Supplies, Premium Basic 1 sk Dwarf bread, water, hempen cloth, and wrapping rags. [-] to healing and recovery. €2
24 Supplies, Voyager 1 sk Tinned meat, travel ale, disinfectant schnapps, novelty items, rough newspapers, socks, gum, and prophylactics. €10
25 Starwatcher Compass 2 sp Displays directions, latitude, longitude, and out-of-date open source map. Requires line of sight to fast stars. €50
26 Synthetic Blood 1 st A stone’s worth of synthetic blood. For surgery or to feed a vampire for a week. €20
27 UV Lotion 1 sp Protects from the UV radiation and provides resistance against radiant damage. €5
28 VC Healing Lotion 1 sp Restores 2d6 Life or 1 physical stat point. €40
29 Void Thermos 1 st Perfect vacuum seals. Maintains tea, soup, or bio slurry at same temperature for a week. €25
30 Water Purification Pills 1 sp Makes a week’s worth of water fit to drink. Kills bacteria and viruses. Removes some toxins. Sold as 10-pack. €5

Gear & Services 189

Toolkits
Portable bundles, ready-made for heroes venturing out into the
grasslands. They give advantage to relevant tests. Unsurprisingly,
a hero carrying both a kit and a full backpack of premium basic
supplies is encumbered—mules do help.

d20 Tool or Kit Size Description Cost

1 Adventure Kitchen 1 sk Portable stove, samovar, canteen, cast iron pots and pans, oils, salts and spices, ladles, tongs, knives, €100
chopping blocks, and more. No more eating raw game!
2 Ambassador’s Trunk 1 sk Fine dress, etiquette manuals, beads, liquors, ink, forgery equipment, sealing wax, hidden drug €500
compartment. Perfect for trade deals or pretending you’re a count. Servant not included but recommended.
3 Dungeoneer’s Kit 1 sk Telescoping pole, net, rope, hook, crowbar, hammer, lamp, oil flasks, block and tackle, pitons, magnifying €100
glass, flour, chalk, grease, lock picks, and bag of marbles. Everything you need to poke around a dungeon.
4 Excavator’s Kit 1 sk Block and tackle, pulley, cable, ropes, snap hooks, carabiners, knives, shovel, pick, crowbar, drill, chain, €100
sledgehammer, rollers. The gear you want for easily removing heavy objects.
5 Farmboy’s Big Adventure 1 sk Backpack with pockets for 5 bonus stones, pet rodent, memento, heirloom weapon, sack’s worth of trail mix. €10
6 Golem Coding Gear 1 sk Leather tubes of writing paper, inks, pens, chisels, scalpels, ritual writing desk, and portable potter’s wheel. €200
7 Inquisitor Standard Case 1 sk Pliers, portable rack, small bellows, selection of scalpels, lunchbox, comfortable chair, many coloured robes, €200
nice shoes, kissable knuckle rings, fire-starting equipment, and more. You know what it’s for.
8 Mechanic’s Chest 1 sk Tough steel chest full of picks, wrenches, nuts, screwdrivers, ratchets, extractors, pliers, hammers, snips, €200
crimpers, files, scrapers, keys, Allen wrenches, bolts, wire, glue, duct tape and suggestive literature.
9 The Original Medikit 1 sk Everything a real doctor could want. Stethoscope, scalpels, placebos, alcohol, morphine and degree included. €300
10 My First Archaeologist Kit 1 sk Shovels, picks, sacks, ropes, buckets, brushes, pith helmets, more mustache wax, shiny boots, safety whip, €100
notebooks, and lamps. Everything a budding tomb raider could want!
11 Naturalist’s Portable 1 sk Jars, flasks, pins, boxes, nets, scalpels, prods, pens, brushes, paints, notebooks, easels, and an organic source €200
Laboratory reprogramming handbook (with pictures in five colours!). Perfect for the amateur biomancer.
12 Navigator’s Suitcase 1 sk Case of compasses, maps, little telescopes, odd crystals, and baroque clockwork for astrologer or wayfinder. €200
13 Necromancer Gear 2 sk Saws, knives, scalpels, stakes, hammers, leather cords, needles, petri dishes, wires, batteries, starters, and €300
legal tomes. Tailored to the aspiring dead-talker.
14 Porter’s Pack 1 sk Great walking boots, beat-up tea flask, extra water bottle, sunscreen, lamp, bandages, sleeping bag, blister €20
cream, numbing chew root, and carry rack for one more sack of supplies.
15 Prospector’s Kit 1 sk Similar to archaeologist kit, but more hammers, a hidden revolver or stiletto, and fewer beauty products. €50
16 Revolutionary’s Kit 1 sk Brand new boiler suit, cap, elegant leisure suit, diary, list of contacts, pens, pencils, romantic novels, €100
unreadable treatises, rousing pamphlets, cigarettes, oldtech lighter, bomb, fuze, pistol.
17 Shaman’s Gear 1 sk Psychopomp relics, antivenom, laxatives, emetics, pickles, pipe, tobacco, “tobacco,” and a psychedelic brick. €100
18 UVG Pro Hiker Kit 1 sk The tourist’s dream: toiletries, zinc sunscreen, tent, sturdy walking stick, Greenland army knife, sombrero, €50
mustache wax, kangaroo bag, schnapps and wineskins, nifty cord belt, and a sturdy backpack
19 Veterinarian Kit 1 sk Saws, rubber gloves, knives, scalpels, leather straps. Everything a doctor could want! Works on humans! €100
20 Wizard Tourist’s Chest 2 sk Ambulatory golem chest (L4, ferocious, loyal)! Inside: robes, pajamas, three hats, blueprince scrolls, €2,000
Skerples-brand pens, microscope, spell computer, batteries, illusion projector. Also, 1 sack of spare capacity.

190 The Stuff

Armors
Travelers must decide what is suitable and unsuitable for the conti- » Hot: Good in winter, but sucks in hot environments. After
nental steppe climate of the Ultraviolet Grasslands. exertion, such as a battle, the hero needs a rest and water.
Without such a breather, the hero may become fatigued.
Armor Bonus » Intravenous: Set up to inject a potion directly into the body
The defensive bonus armor provides, assuming an ascending armor with a free action.
class. A simple defense score = 10 + Agility (or Dexterity) + Armor. » Powered #: Uses a magical source of energy, be it solar prayers,
thermonuclear batteries, blood sacrifice or something else.
Armor Features Armor has # charges and loses a charge after every combat
» Cool: Looks good in a hot environment, but a thermal blanket or significant exertion. The wearer can also spend a charge
is recommended at night because it gets chilly. to boost their combat prowess. A spare power source and
» Cumbersome: Stealthy and nimble activities are more difficult automagical recharging cradle (or prayer altar) takes a whole
in this armor. sack and costs €500.
» Environmental: Magically provides advantage ([+]) to tests » Size: As a rule, ordinary shields and light armors take one stone,
against environmental effects like acid, toxic clouds and dying medium armors take two stones, and heavy armors take three.
of thirst. Often with magical hazmat runes or post-mechanical
breathing implants.

d20 Armor or Shield Armor Type Size Description Cost

1 Shield (there is only one) +2 Shield 1 st A basic shield. Sunder to negate one attack. €5
2 Nomad Robes +1 Light 1 st Cool, with padded bits. €10
3 Boiled Leather +1 Light 1 st Hot. But cheap. And shiny when oiled. Goes well with sandals. €10
4 Ballistic Linen Suit +2 Light 1 st Cool, perfect for the gentleman adventurer. Secret pocket for a nip. €100
5 Spiked Leather +2 Light 1 st Hot, with space for mounting skulls, furs, and masks. €50
6 Synthskin Light Environment Suit +1 Light 1 st Environmental, hot, dedicated to the goddess Hazmaat. Rare. €150
7 Cat Armor +1 Light 5 sp A tiny helmet and little silken cuirass. Ever so cute. Cat-sized. €200
8 Skinchanger Suit +3 Light 1 st Symbiotic biomechanical suit grafted with wearer’s skin. Adapts to €2,000
different environment in a week. Requires regular feeding. Takes a few
hours to fully remove. Versions without face cover possible.
9 Dryland Weave +3 Medium 2 st Cool. Woven from the cilia of special dryland coral hybrids, surprisingly €100
breathable, cumbersome.
10 Scale Shirt +3 Medium 2 st Hot and cumbersome. Made from extinct iron pangolin scales. €50
11 Chitin Cuirass +4 Medium 2 st Cool, cumbersome. Also called lobster armor. €600
12 Iron Breastplate +4 Medium 2 st Hot, cumbersome. A classic. €400
13 Watersuit +4 Medium 2 st Cool-suit of synthskin over woven bone mesh, with uncanny vascular €1,200
cooling and filtration system. Cumbersome, environmental.
14 Spectral Combat Suit +5 Medium 2 st Satrapy steel-glass scales with an environment maintenance parasite. €2,400
Cool, powered 6, environmental, cumbersome.
15 Bone Mesh Armor +6 Heavy 3 st Horrible product of the bone wizards. Pretty cool, cumbersome. €500
16 Chain Mail +6 Heavy 3 st Hot and cumbersome, but a classic heavy armor design. €200
17 Porcelain Walker Suit +7 Heavy 3 st Cool, powered 6, cumbersome, intravenous. The best in Princely €600
technology, with shiny polychrome ceramic plates.
18 Splint +7 Heavy 3 st Hot, cumbersome, primitive, and cheap. €400
19 Plate and Ballistic Weave +8 Heavy 4 st Hot, cumbersome, combines modern smithing with old tailoring. €1,500
20 Full Archaic Armor +8 Heavy 3 st Cool and rare. A suit that’s also a golem. May develop personality, €5,000
powered 8, environmental, intravenous, cumbersome.

Gear & Services 191

Weapons
It wouldn’t be a pseudo-colonial-apocalyptic savanna-crawl without Weapon size
guns. Unless specified otherwise, weapons are one-handed. The average weapon weighs one stone. Light weapons take less
space, heavy ones more.
Ranges and Areas
Like The Black Hack (check it out), the UVG assumes abstract ranges Weapon Features
and areas. Don’t worry too much about precise distances, keep » Ammo: unless noted otherwise, ammo weighs one stone and
combat sketchy and descriptive and fast. A weapon’s listed range costs one tenth the price of its weapon.
is its optimal range—attacks one category beyond that range are » Blinding: if any damage dice roll maximum, the target is
possible, but suffer major penalties [-]. blinded for one round. Critical hits may blind permanently.
» Burst: unload all your charges or ammo to deal damage in a
Range Area Dimensions Movement small area. Targets can take cover and forfeit their next move
Close Small, 2 meters or 7 feet. Adjacent. for half damage. Targets already under cover take no damage if
1 or 2 people. they forfeit their next move.
Short Medium, 10 meters or 30 feet. One move.
» Frag: charged with epic energies beyond mortal ken. Slain
2 to 8 people.
enemies explode and deal 1d6 damage in a small area.
Medium Large, 40 meters or 120 feet. Two moves.
3 to 18 people. » Intravenous: can be loaded with liquid toxins or holy water.
Long Massive, Further away. Three or more » Mounted: a heavy one-handed weapon for mounted use. Does
a crowd. Aim carefully. moves. double damage when charging.
» Rare and restricted: such equipment is hard to find, overpriced
outside of the settlement that produces it, often controlled by
some faction or powerful group and may provoke hostile reac-
tions. Zombies are such a thing.
» Reach: weapon is longer and attacks first in close combat.
» Relevant stats: mst ranged attacks use Agility, while melee
attacks use Strength. Some weapons can use other stats.
» Reload #: a weapon is out of ammo and needs to be reloaded
after an attacking d20 shows the reload number or less.
Reloading is an action. Skilled fighters reload for free.
» Throwing: lots of weapons can be thrown, some are even made
for it. Throwing a weapon at a nearby or close target is fine, but
the attacker is at a disadvantage against far-off enemies.
» Two-Handed: it’s big. Needs two hands (2H) to use properly.
» Versatile: can be used two-handed. In that case, its damage
dice increase one step (1d6 becomes 1d8, 1d12 becomes 1d20).

ranged weapons: Bows and gun wands

d15 Weapon Damage Range Size Description Cost
1 Bow: first among weapons 1d6 Medium 1 st Two-handed (2H), the lack of features is a feature. €20
2 Crossbow 1d8 Medium 1 st Reload 20 (yes, you have to reload after every shot). €25
3 Steppelander Composite Bow 1d8 Medium 1 st 2H, decent at distant ranges. €150
4 Heavy Crossbow 1d10 Medium 2 st Reload 20, 2H, optional knockback bolts. €50
5 Scavenger Bolter 1d10 Medium 2 st Reload 10, 2H, a basic recycled rifle. €100
6 Porcelain Prince Pistol 2d6 Short 5 sp Reload 2, automatic ceramic, rare. €300
7 Violent Cat Rifle 2d10 Medium 2 st Reload 4, 2H, sturdy and deadly. €600
8 Satrap Radiant Gun 2d12 Medium 2 st Reload 7, 2H, laser, blinding, starts fires, rare. €1,100
9 Redland District SMG 2d6 Short 1 st Reload 1, 2H, burst, revolutionary, rare. €500
10 Vome Slagger 3d6 Medium 2 st Reload 10, frag, usually implanted, rare. €1,500
11 Ultra Blaster 3d6 Short 5 sp Reload 1, radiant, blinding, rare. €2,000
12 Blue God Blaster 4d8 Close 1 st Reload 7, 2H, necrotic, burst, unholy, rare. €3,000
13 Inquisition Squirtgun 1d6 Short 5 sp Reload 5, intravenous, rare. €300
14 Voice of Death 3d10 Short 3 st Reload 10, 2H, sonic, very loud, rare. €4,000
15 Black City Matter Disruptor 3d6* Long 1 st Reload 7, 2H, action at a distance, very rad, very rare. €13,000

192 The Stuff

Simple melee weapons
d8 Weapon Damage Range Size Features Cost
1 Rock 1d3 Close 1 st Throwing (Short). Can usually roll. —
2 Dagger: a cult classic 1d4 Close 5 sp Strength or Agility, throwing (Short). €2
3 Battle Stick 1d4 Close 1 st Strength or Agility. €1
4 Axe 1d6 Close 1 st Combine with a shield for best effect. €5
5 Club 1d6 Close 1 st A cheap, blunt axe. €1
6 Spear 1d6/1d8 Close 1 st Versatile, throwing (Short). €2
7 Staff 1d6/1d8 Close 1 st Versatile. A long stick. €1
8 Great Rod 1d10 Close 2 st Two-handed (2H), a bigger badder stick. €1

Military melee weapons

d14 Weapon Damage Range Size Description Cost
1 Whip, Burdenbeast Leather 1d4 Close 1 st Strength or Agility, reach. Can be used to swing. €3
2 Scimitar 1d6 Close 1 st Strength or Agility. €15
3 Flail 1d8 Close 1 st Swingy and hitty. A symbol of chaos. €10
4 Mace 1d8 Close 1 st Blunty and bashy. A symbol of chaos. €20
5 Dagger-axe 1d8 Close 1 st Sharpy and stabby. A symbol … ok, is this a joke? €15
6 Battle Axe 1d8/1d10 Close 1 st Versatile (used two-handed deals more damage). €20
7 Warhammer 1d8/1d10 Close 1 st Versatile. €30
8 Sabre, Symbol of Chaos 1d8/1d10 Close 1 st Versatile. Good for ending nonsense. €45
9 Great Spear of Stabbing 1d10 Close 2 st 2H, reach. Whose was that chaos joke? €5
10 Halberd of Polearming 1d10 Close 2 st 2H, reach, armor-cracking. Ok, fine. €20
11 Cavalry Lance 1d12 Close 2 st Mounted, double damage on charge. €15
12 Cavalry Sabre 1d12 Close 2 st Mounted, deal damage with advantage against infantry. €70
13 Great Axe 2d6 Close 2 st 2H, beloved of barbarians. €40
14 Great Sword 2d6 Close 2 st 2H, also goes well with loincloths. €100

Weird melee weapons

d10 Weapon Damage Range Size Description Cost
1 Cat Claws (Gauntlet) 1d4 Close 5 sp Counts as an unarmed attack. €50
2 Neural Whip 1d8 Close 1 st Strength or Agility, reach, stuns on natural 20. Beloved of slavers. €50
3 Sabre Tooth 1d8 Close 1 st Str or Agi, necrotic, intravenous. The tooth of a grim predator. €200
4 Ceramic Mace 1d10 Close 1 st Ignores damage resistances. Favored by the Porcelain Princes. €300
5 Black City Blade 1d10 Close 1 st Ignores damage resistances. Whispers to you. €300
6 Chain Sword 1d10/2d8 Close 2 st Versatile. Decapitates on natural 20. €600
7 Crystal Swordspear 1d12 Close 2 st 2H, stores up to 2 direct damage radiant or fire spells. €450
8 Vomish Centaur Flail 2d8 Close 2 st Mounted, double damage on charge, stuns on natural 20. €300
9 Ghost Bone Axe 2d8 Close 2 st 2H, deals full damage to ghosts, ignores undead immunities. €600
10 Forty Pound Rare Metal Rod 2d10 Close 4 st 2H, always loses initiative, stuns on matching damage dice. €900

Stranger things have also been found in the wilderness.

Gear & Services 193

Implants & Prosthetics
Implant Varieties » Vomish: Extracted from a vome. These implants require a
» Biomantic: Sculpted from the user’s own flesh. Each such life-long regimen of healing rituals, prayers, and mech-sup-
implant reduces Life by 1. Can only be used by organics. pressants (€5/week/implant) to avoid the corruption inherent
» Golem: The finest of implants draw their energy from the stars. in the bug-ridden vomish source code.
» Oldtech: Cannot be modified without Long Long Ago tools.
» Psychic: Modulates a creature’s aura, invisible to the naked eye. Integrated
» Vampiric: Inoperable unless fed 1 Life per week. Any active implant occupies one trait slot, not item slots.

Implant Name Size Description Cost

1 Autoneurotic Drive 1 st Biomantic. Modified neural implants let a creature walk and perform simple tasks even while it sleeps. €50
2 Babel Armillary 1 st Golem. Oldtech. Semi-sentient direct link bracelets. Communicate with any creature while in physical contact. €100
3 Caustic Talons 1 st Vampiric. Vomish. Fingernails replaced with acid-tipped talons. Corrode metals. Grant a 1d6 unarmed attack. €100
4 Ego Purgative 1 st Psychic. Vampiric. Enlightenment on demand. Purges soul of negative vibrations. Increase Aura and Charisma by 1. €750
5 Gastric Upgrade 1 st Biomantic. PC can now derive sustenance from wood, offal, humus, leather, and most other biomatter. €100
6 Gun Spectrum SZX 1 st Golem. 2d8 damage, Medium range radiant gun, Reload 2, blinding, starts fires. Concealed. €3,000
7 Hibernation Gland 5 sp Biomantic. Enter low-metabolic state, reducing resource consumption ten-fold. Can’t move while hibernating. €100
8 Homunculus Cyst 1 st Biomantic. A rat-sized psychically linked mini-me (L0). Perfect for scouting. €100
9 Insolence Engine 1 st Oldtech. Psychic. Loaded with seven million adaptive memes of Long Long Ago. Makes angering opponents easy. €300
10 Jewel Mind 1 sp Oldtech. Replaces wetware brain with a synthetic crystal jewel. Implantation takes 1 week. Increase Thought by 1. €500
11 Muscular Augment 1 st Biomantic. Stronger muscles ripple under distended flesh, increasing the PCs Strength by 1. €250
12 Neural Overdrive 1 st Biomantic. Glands to speed up reflexes. Side effects a possibility. Increase Agility by 1. €250
13 Pharyngeal Proboscis 3 sp Vomish. Sensitive prehensile tubes extend from the throat to carry out detailed chemical sampling and analysis. €250
14 Radiothermal Heart 1 st Oldtech. Never run out of energy! Never get cold! PC requires half as many supplies. Increase Endurance by 1. €1,500
15 Second Brain 1 st Oldtech. Records the PC’s experiences (initial backup takes 1 week). Can be installed in another body or machine. €1,500
16 Slagger Implant 2 st Vomish. 3d6 damage, Medium range frag ray, Reload 10. Can spend 1 Life to reload as a free action. €1,500
17 Telescopic Eye 1 sp Vomish. The heretic that designed the vomes gifted them with impressive optics: tetrachromatic, capable of seeing €250
in the infrared and ultraviolet. Improved versions have up to 9x zoom and macro enhance.
18 Vome Arm 2 st Vomish. Vampiric. Replaces an arm with a monstrous claw. Increase Strength by 2. Grants a 1d8 unarmed attack. €500
19 Vome Legs 4 st Vomish. Vampiric. Liquid metal and synthetic flesh appendages. Increase speed (Fast). Increase Endurance by 2. €750
20 Vome Photophores 1 st Vomish. Dermal upgrade that lets PC modulate their skin like they were a cuttlefish or squid. Shiny! €200

194 The Stuff

Traveler Services
On the road, many things can and do go wrong. Entrepreneurs
sprout like mushrooms after a biogenic storm to fix vehicles and
voyagers alike. For a fee.

Medic0-Veterinary Services
Service Time Description (Availability) Effect Cost
1 Medicheck, Basic 1 day Untrained doctor provides some autopills (common). Restore 1d6 life. €5
2 Medicheck, Premium 1 day Brand-name doctor unit & a treatment golem (uncommon). Restore 2d6 life. €25
3 Limbback Services 1 week Biomancer grows back a limb using beast egg mass (rare). Restore or replace a limb. €200
4 NuBody Regimen 2 weeks Expert biomancer grows a full body from just a head (v rare). Repair all physical damage. €1,200
5 Pathosupression 1 day Course of drugs to slow disease (common). Stop disease progress for 1d6 weeks. €10
6 Purifying Fire 1 week Sentient nano-animalcule swarm purges system (rare). Purge any disease or infection. €300
7 Cosmetic Biomancy 1 day Get a new face, a new look, or more defined abs (uncommon). It’s cosmetic. €50
8 Functional Biomancy 1 week Acquire a new mutation or other beneficial trait (rare). It’s effective. €500
9 Brain Transfer 1 week Swap brains, or put brain into a fresh clone body (v rare). Drastic. Reset all physical stats. €1,500
10 Aural Rebalance 1 day Crystal healer removes negative vibrations (uncommon). Pause curse or possession for 1d4+1 weeks. €50
11 True Exorcism 3 days Trained inquisitor casts out a possessing demon or curse (v rare). Casts out a demon or void thing. €300
12 Blood Replacement 1 day Suppresses vampiric and lycanthropic urges (uncommon). Suppress urges for 1d4+1 weeks. €75
13 Controlled Implant 1 day Bio-chirurgeon installs an implant or prosthetic (uncommon). Avoid accidents and infections. €10

Mechanitechnical Services
Service Time Description (Availability) Effect Cost
1 Chopshop, Basic 1 day Local blackthumb whacks it with a sonic wrench (uncommon). Repair 1d8 life. €5
2 Chopshop, Guild 1 day Traditional mechanic carefully repairs the machine (rare). Repair 2d8 life. €25
3 Body Modification 1 week Repaint, restyle, refashion, remake. All the res (rare). Change how a machine looks. €100
4 Junkyard Repair 3 days Lost wheel, busted cannon, broken cams. All fixed (rare). As good as new. Just looks different. €200
5 Full Rebuild 2 weeks Golem wizard revives a dead (0 life) machine or vehicle (v rare). It’s back! Big and mean as ever. €1,000
6 Engine Wizardry 1 week Expert technowizard installs a different engine (v rare). Hopefully it’s a golem drive ... €1,000
7 Update Drivers 1 day Electric wizard installs new subroutines in a golem (rare). It learns a new skill. €500
8 Install Kit 1 day Hereditary welda-fella bolts on a new module (uncommon). Looks rough, but it works. Technical. €25
9 Automind 3 days Golemancer installs an autonomous control system (rare). Full self-driving! About as smart as a roach. €500
10 Golem Intelligence 2 weeks Golemancer wires and activates a fully sentient mind (x rare). It’s alive! Personality may vary. €5,000

Rest & Relaxation: ‘Carousing’ Spots with Special Features

Service Time Description (Availability) Effect Cost
1 Vagabond Serai 1 day Booze, campfire, and vermin under a Long Ago overpass (com.). Poor rumors. Clews to new discoveries. €1
2 Automotel 1 day Golem luxury includes charging pod and bugmeal (uncommon). Improved rest and recovery. €1
3 Hot Springs 1 day Mercurial waters heated by radiothermal reserves (uncommon). Helps with stress and breathing problems. €5
4 Post-Public Baths 1 day Automated cleaning, delousing, grooming, and pampering (rare). Cures skin ailments, removes vermin. €5
5 Aristotel 1 day Bonded servants provide a refined experience (rare). Rich rumors. Clews to trade routes. €20
6 Long Ago Museum 1 day An altar of lost knowledge and found heresies (rare). Place to learn new old skills or spells. €50
7 Roadside Attraction 1 day Unique yet boring experience (uncommon). Learn tricks about the local culture. €10
8 Guns ‘R’ Us 3 hours Weapon themed traveling autofac experience (rare). Upgrade guns and ammo. €100
9 Hedge Witchcraft 3 hours Road crone provides curses and potions (uncommon). Curse an opponent with bad luck. €25
10 Eden Dome 3 days Leftover from Long Ago, the pinnacle of synthetic bliss (v rare). Recover all life & ability points. €200
11 Memory Beach 1 day Sand that sparkles with the light of an older sun (rare). A week’s worth of solar charging. €20
12 Nutrifac Bistro 3 hours Arcane biomachine produces perfectly balanced food (v rare). Cost is per sack of ingestible pink slurry. €5
13 Diesolene Stand 1 hour Old autorefiner and its tender clone ... is this a trap (rare)? Cost is per sack (can) of high delta fuel. €10
14 Propagandoplex 1 day Minds off, old vidys on at this drive-thru multiplex (v rare). Cure stress, fears, and anxieties. €15
15 Theme World 1 week A city-sized Long Ago entertainment settlement (v rare). 1-in-6 chance to win rare plush (€200, 1 st) €40
16 Casino Imperial 1 week Comes with a golden, limited-use gate to a city (v rare). 1-in-6 chance of winning big (€1,200). €300

Gear & Services 195

100 Strange Items
Found on a defeated creature or a sleeping traveler. Give one or 43. Mechanic’s chest with manual on walker maintenance or mala-
both, as you prefer. The values in brackets are optional and don’t chite spoons (€25).
apply if there is a larger quantity of treasure. Obviously. 44. Set of keys to an autowagon, a shopping list, and an obscure
1. Fossil skull inscribed with the Blue God’s accursed iconographs reference to a car gnome cult or silver earrings (€25).
or mirrored cowries (€5). 45. Deed to a pair named Smart and Smarter or silver pennies (€17).
2. Moss-covered human-bone elven flute or moon coins (€5). 46. Ancient briefcase filled with old notes on a self‑assembling
3. Clockwork brain adjustment worm or ivory chips (€5). walker or ivory scales (€33).
4. Carving stone, very hard, perfect for writing deep dwarven 47. Alien gun (2d8), covered in a non-repeating pattern or sanguine
poetry or corundum dust (€10). porcelain beads (€30).
5. Black mirror, mysterious or trading sticks (€1). 48. Bone quiver w. ivory arrows covered in quarter-ling poisons or
6. Tar candle, burns green or clay seals (€5). platinum lockpick (€30).
7. Water-finding walking stick, Woodlander or copper wire (€3). 49. Violet city lapis cat claw gauntlet (1d4) or ivory rings (€30).
8. Memetic face-stealing mask or vampire ash (€7 ). 50. Yellowlander gentleman’s helmet, with head still inside. In the
9. Horn of a great ram, filled with maggots or bone coin (€5). mouth, a misread map to a buried treasure or silver chain (€35).
10. Porcelain eye full of poems or lapiz plug (€5). 51. Assisted mecha-crampons and leather shorts or gold wire (€35).
11. Spirit rope from herbal fibres or silver wire (€10). 52. Mechanical wind-up accordion or silver darts (€35).
12. Chroma flashlight, sun-charged or pickled kumquats (€10). 53. Iridescent scale tent (Onion-and-Skull) or platinum nails (€35).
13. Ruby scalpel, sharp as a harpy’s tongue or saffron sachet (€10). 54. Vile psionic soul-stripping crystal, currently empty or mummy
14. RLD pigeon with recording eyes or blood porcelain stick (€10). ash pellet (€39).
15. Synth-skin backpack or coral seed chip (€20). 55. Bush doctor manual with living plants growing in its leaves or
16. Fine chitin-woven boots or lead coins (€1). tooth coins (€31).
17. Pen with hypodermic injector or crystal coin (€10). 56. Autonom kit to create a synthetic organism—only missing a
18. Silver-banded ceramic wristwatch or yellowlander scrip (€10). brain or glass brain bits (€35).
19. Half-There Isles fishing rod, collapsible or malachite cogs (€13). 57. Meta-Classical porcelain and synthetic sinew neural whip (1d8)
20. Samovar and powerful cat coffee or fastfoot teeth necklace (€7). or stuckforce amulet (€35).
21. Light-focusing crystal assembly, good for starting fires or 58. Furry synthetic skin saddlebags stuffed with ammunition or
crystal rat skull (€15). ur-obsidian test tubes (€70).
22. Chitin chest with scalpels and saws or silver shovel coins (€15). 59. Fancy Emerald City chain sword (1d10) or empty batteries (€1).
23. UV Cream+ against radiation or silver finger bones (€15). 60. Dancing golden hamster in a silver cage, intelligent and knows
24. Iconic White City rubber & silk breather suit or jaspis ring (€15). of a secret deep road between two locations or rare lard (€35).
25. Silk rope with spider eggs or jade discs (€30). 61. Polished carbon and electrum bardstone loaded with 256
26. Surprisingly large and beautifully decorated Steppelander hat songs or bronze scalpels (€40).
or unlucky dice (€1). 62. Spidersilk sack of Iron Kitty cat food or silver shot glasses (€40).
27. Greenlander tin of moustache wax, Petrolflower brand or 63. Chitin bustier with secret stash & a treacherous love letter or
silvered marbles (€11). tourmaline spheres (€47).
28. Unrusting odd-iron rod (1d6), marked with intricate patterns or 64. Sky tree cloud-sucker net, recovers a bottle of water from air
blue stone coins (€15). per day or ling jerky (€33).
29. Tough poncho w. mutated beast teeth or bronze bracelets (€15). 65. Golem fire-projector eye (2d6) from a defense golem turret or
30. Taxidermied Cat with pearl eyes and gold claws or emerald city steel thread (€40).
plastic scrip (€19). 66. Spectrum Satrap crystal spear with a stored fire spell or silver
31. War vome brain in a lead-lined plaz box or yellow bone coins (€20). manacles (€40).
32. Suspension cube powder in a static jar or Violet City Coins (€20). 67. Ur-glass brain of a Long Ago thief who stole abmortality from a
33. Black iron & gold telescope w. crystal lenses or iron coins (€20). Vile monarch or gold neck rings (€40).
34. Half a black moon key that opens the entrance of a deadly 68. Itinerant Inquisitor battle robes (armor +3) stained with ther-
portal or gold ring (€40). mophobic blood or heretic ash pellets (€80).
35. Half a white sun key that opens the exit from a deadly portal or 69. Rainbow ceramic hammer (1d10) of Jesus Thor, price tag
strange tooth (€1). missing or dried sheep pellets (€1).
36. Holy Cogflower grammar book or bronze grappling hook (€20). 70. Mouse biosculpted with two bat wings and a marsupial pouch
37. Mirrored Redland District sunglasses or platinum coin (€20). or titanium lock (€40).
38. Case of Redland wines, good vintage or jade egg (€28). 71. Prosthetic biomechanical arm with sword‑fighting wrist
39. Orangeland metal guitar or pit coins etched with faces (€12). augmentation or bolt of rainbow silks (€500).
40. Pouch decorated with dogs and flowers, inside dog’s tail root or 72. Black barrel of yellowing arcane yoghurt or wreath of malleable
lapiz lazuli bracelets (€20). livingstone (€200).
41. Bottle of Marmotfolk snake oil or brass pipettes (€25). 73. Chitin shield with biomechanical snakes woven into the boss or
42. Diesel dwarf solar battery or golden needles (€25). scroll cases filled with arcane weather poetry (€100).

196 The Stuff

74. Cyan lightmetal helmet with haze purifiers or off-brand saffron
briquettes (€150).
75. Decapolitan guide to intrigue and war for beginners or fancy
chicken (€250).
76. Ur-obsidian bottle of ancient fire water or crystal and gold
hypodermics (€300).
77. Fetish servant made of giant centipede limbs, luminescent
wood, and quarter-ling bones or supply of felix whizz (€350).
78. Bio-necromantic preserver parasite, keeps freshly dead ‘alive’
or last steel nodule (€400).
79. Lingish personality rewiring headphones or vidy crystal with
tales of a heroic age (€450).
80. Sand dragon bone golem dog (L3, loyal, tough) or rainbow joy
worm (€550).
81. Prohibited radiation gun from Long Long Ago (3d8) or bi-man-
nerist porcelain vase set (€600).
82. Ceramic energy container, in a pinch: a grenade or silver and
gold caltrops (€650).
83. Idio-Brutalist ka-ba maintenance body, can preserve one
soul-personality for centuries or black light lotus pills (€700).
84. Animated bone-work snake (L2, chuckling), can follow up to
five simple commands or Blue heresy poem cylinders (€750).
85. Amber levitating disc of force and force control glove or twin
set of ultra jay needles (€800).
86. Badass bandana, decorated with a map to a cursed treasure or
corundum drill bits (€850).
87. Animated metaskeleton fungus horse (L2, carry 3) or distilled
personality juice (€900).
88. Mind-burner hypnogun (deals Thought damage) or karma
dust plates (€950).
89. Lumin shrubbery in a porcelain pot or soul stone (€1,000).
90. Old-fashioned and uncharismatic machine human butler (L1,
etiquette protocols) or bone coins of passage (€1,500).
91. Set of six Rainbow grenades (3d6*, thrown) and a contract to
destroy an ultra hideout or azure energy charge coins (€2,000).
92. Ancient Vile supersoldier serum, mostly works (increase 2
physical stats by 1d4-2, reduce 1 mental stat by 1d4-2) or deep
purple energy cubes (€2,500).
93. Lingish disintegrator ray (3d6*, near) wrapped in the will and
testament of an autofac architect or weed of worship (€3,000).
94. Golem servant (L2, kindly) and vidy player, loaded with a plaz
steel vidy of machine rituals for opening the corners of the
world or Pre‑Chromatic canon crown (€4,500).
95. Kangaroo bag with a soulfire golem battery or collectible set of
vech activation cards (€5,000).
96. Vome assimilator suit kit with command parasite or Rider
Years skin figurines (€6,000).
97. Ultra communicator and soul translator, holds the final desti-
nation of the Zombie Democracy or mythogogic diamond
necklace (€7,000).
98. Rainbow-feathered two-legged riding vech (L5, fast, carry 4) or
purger trophy (€8,000).
99. Rare close combat weapon (1d12*) from when the Fast Stars
shone, cursed by its last owner or starbloom souvenir (€9,000).
100. True prophecy in the memories of a grey ooze (L5, assimilating
swarm) held in a stasis jar or a first seed (€10,000).

Gear & Services 197

Spells Referenced
What is a spell? Is it an old ritual for jump-starting an auto- Dissolution and Resolution of the Spirit
golem? Handed-down sacred physics? Or actual instructions for Fey Slumber, Hard Reboot
summoning powers from beyond the frontiers of reality. Few care. R: touch T: a willing creature D: 1 day
The wizard dissolves a creature’s spirit, leaving an inert shell
These spells leave a lot of precise definitions up to you. They are or pseudocorpse. After 1 day, the spirit ‘reboots’, wiped clean of
listed with a generic name, some alternative names, a description spiritual parasites, daemons, ultras, possessing code-worms, or
of their Range [R], Target [T], and Duration [D]. Casting a spell is mind-affecting spells.
normally not risky for someone who has some idea of what they are Overcharge: The target is inert for a week. The reboot also repairs
doing. Overcharging a spell, however, is risky. Possibly risky enough physical injuries and ailments.
to detonate a wizard’s head. One might offset some dangers with
magic drugs, a sacrifice, a special item, or a higher level. Dryland Sculpture
Utilitarian Livingstone Bungalow, Rite of Coral Form
O R: touch T: 5m diameter area D: permanent
Over 6 hours the wizard coaxes a livingstone brick (1 stone) to grow
into a dryland coral form of any shape they want within the target
Alter Self area. Hemispheres are popular. Don’t forget a door.
Inner Beauty Manifest, Mind Over Body
R: touch T: self D: 1 hour Entropic Reversal
The wizard’s mind resculpts their features. They can resemble a The Untiming Charm, Zundan’s Awakening of Aways
specific person, provided the wizard has studied them up close, or R: 3m T: object (tool or machine) D: 0
a general type. No abilities are altered. The wizard draws a 1 meter diameter chronomantic circle around
Alternatively, the wizard can choose to gain gills, low-light vision, or the target object. When the drawing is complete, a flash of para-en-
another minor natural ability at the GM’s discretion. tropy restores the object to perfect function and decays everything
Overcharge: the effects are permanent. else within the circle. The ritual takes 15 minutes.
Overcharge: allows a 10 meter diameter circle.
Animate Corpse
Artificial Post-Mortality, Wake the Shell Floating Disc
R: touch T: corpse D: permanent Shield of the Righteous, Mage’s Mule
In 1 hour, a target reasonably intact human-sized corpse rises as R: 30m T: point D: 1 hour
a post-mortal zombie (pg.XX). The corpse is animated by a soul The wizard creates a concave disc of stuckforce 1m in diameter. The
fragment and shreds of residual personality. It obeys simple orders disc hovers, can be pushed at a walking pace, and can be tilted to
given by the wizard, but must be reminded every 6 hours (or more create an almost impenetrable barrier. The disc vanishes if it is more
frequently in a chaotic environment). A wizard can control a number than 30m from the wizard.
of post-mortals equal to their Level without risk of rebellion. Overcharge: the disc can be up to 5m in diameter and moves at the
Overcharge: the corpse awakens instantly. Alternate: awakens as a wizard’s spoken command.
higher-level or specialized post-mortal.
Gem Bomb
Burdenbeast Modification Jeweler’s Fireball, Uzud’s Exploding Flower of Stone
Art of Carriage, Usha’s Useful Mutation R: touch T: gem D: 0
R: touch T: creature D: permanent The wizard carves an explosive forcefield into a gem worth at least
The wizard modifies a human-sized or larger creature to carry an €20. It explodes on impact, dealing 2d6 damage to all nearby.
additional sack of goods. The ritual requires 6 hours and a sack of Overcharge: it explodes like a Fireball.
beast egg masses (€500). Unwilling targets get a save.
Imbue Edge
Cerebral Purge Seka’s Spearcraft, Vorpalize
Harsh Awakening, Reality’s Cold Knife R: touch T: edged weapon D: 6 hours
R: 10m T: creature D: 0 The wizard whispers to a weapon, imbuing it with cunning, lust,
The wizard uses a telechronic wave to purify the target’s brain of and humor. It deals +2 damage and can harm spirits, daemons and
any impurities—drugs or mind-altering spells. The target loses 1d6 other intangibles for the spell’s duration.
Life and their recent memories become fuzzy. Unwilling targets get Overcharge: on a critical hit, the target must save or die.
a save.
Overcharge: The target loses 2d6 Life and forgets what happened in Knock / Lock
the last hour. Unwilling targets still save. Locksmith’s Lament, Seal of Hashoon
R: 10m T: lock D: permanent

198 The Stuff

The wizard summons a fragment of consciousness into a target Speak With Husk
lock. Overjoyed, the dimly sentient object burbles at the edges Echoes of the Mind, Necrophone
of the wizard’s mind, begging to please. It unlocks or locks itself. R: 3m T: corpse D: 10 minutes
Magical locks save with a bonus equal to their wizard’s Level. The echoes of personality trapped in a corpse answer three ques-
Overcharge: the door or portal is flung open or sealed, welded, or tions posed by the wizard. The corpse can lie.
fused shut. Overcharge: the corpse carries on a full conversation for the spell’s
duration. It cannot lie, but it can evade.
Linked Portals
Lesser Astral Voyage, Nilbreg’s Convenient Tunnel Supplicate the Rotting God
R: touch T: area D: 30 minutes Turn Back the Wheel of Love and Death
The wizard draws two circles of 3 meter radius in the air. The circles R: touch T: corpse D: 0
are linked by an astral unreality bridge. Anything that enters one The wizard sacrifices at least one sentient creature to restore one
hoop exits the other unchanged, but with its vector of motion recently deceased creature to life. The total level of the target and
altered by the hoops’ position. Two hoops positioned above each the sacrifice(s) must be approximately equal. The ritual takes 1
other let an object fall to terminal velocity. hour per sacrifice and will go disastrously wrong if interrupted. The
Overcharge: the orientation of the portals can be adjusted at will. target is restored to life and a semblance of health for a year and a
The portals can also be thrown up to 10 meters. day.

Magic Jar Three-Point Immobility

Abned’s Bottled Ba, Crystalized Mind Celestial Ladder, Craft Floating Platform
R: touch T: creature D: permanent R: touch T: solid object D: permanent
The wizard transfers an unconscious creature’s personality into The wizard manually tethers an object to three physical points with
a delicate crystal worth €1,000. The procedure erases the original strands of stuckforce. Once tethered, the object is immobile—even
personality. The process takes 30 minutes. if suspended in mid-air.
Overcharge: the creature’s personality is copied, not erased. There Overcharge: the tether is permanent.
is a 50% chance of catastrophic ego conflict or moral partitioning.
Toxin Render
Process Food Dwarf’s Diesel Distillation
Generate Pink Slime, Maker’s Mana R: 10m T: toxic waste D: 1 hour
R: touch T: raw matter D: permanent The wizard uses a 1 hour ritual to convince ambient noösphere-
After a 1 hour ritual, the wizard turns a sack of inedible organic linked animalcules to gather a sack’s worth of toxic waste and
material into nutritious food (1 sack of supplies). Causes magic convert it into usable vehicle or golem fuel. Corrodes engines if used
cancer if consumed for a prolonged period. for prolonged periods.
Overcharge: creates food from inorganic matter. Overcharge: converts material that is not toxic or is not waste.

Raise Dead Yellow Foresight

The Seventh Abomination, The Dark Hakaba Visions of the Cautious Merchant
R: touch T: corpse D: permanent R: 1km T: 100m diameter circle D: 0
After a 6 hour ritual, the wizard calls back a creature’s soul and binds The wizard consumes a soap’s worth of saffron (€10) and meditates
it to its corpse, creating an undead abomination and a parody of life. for 1 hour to scan auras in the target area. They get a general idea
If the creature has been dead for more than 24 hours, only echoes of of the number of sentients and the general mood. If the sentients
its personality and memories (Ba) remain. This spell must be over- are very different from the wizard, reading the mood may be
charged to call back the soul of any creature of worth and potency. impossible.
Overcharge: the wizard can give the raised creature one short Overcharge: consuming a dangerous amount (€100) of saffron lets
command, which the creature will attempt to obey to the best of the wizard implant a positive attitude into a few sentients.
its abilities.

Recall Soul
Necroflare, Ka-Theft
R: touch T: corpse D: 0
After a 1 hour ritual, the wizard calls back a creature’s soul, which
erupts from the corpse as a coiling serpent of ectoplasmic fire. The
soul can be captured in a golem, used to power obscene artifacts, or
merely used for theatrical effect. This spell must be overcharged to
call back the soul of any creature of worth and potency.
Overcharge: the soul is bound in a portable wispy globe for up to 3
hours.

Spells Referenced 199

Biomagical Corruption
Exposure to failed spells, dangerous magic, radiation ghosts, muta- What kind of exposure was it?
genic blights, source corruption, biomancers, vomes, or other weird d20 How Bad Is It Doc?
leftovers of the Long Long Ago can twist body and soul. 1–3 It’s visibly bad. Suffer a deleterious and a cosmetic effect.
4–10 It’s just plain bad. Suffer a deleterious effect.
Random exposure is likely to have deleterious effects. When a hero 11–12 Ups and downs. A deleterious and a beneficial effect.
acquires a deleterious effect, they reduce a stat by one. Positive 13 Chaos. Three corruption effects, one from each column.
modifications usually require folks with biomantic skills. A gentle 14–19 Visible but not bad. Gain a cosmetic and a beneficial effect.
referee may allow a PC exposed to biomagical corruption to just get 20 The biomagical lottery favors you! Gain a beneficial modification.
sick and require medical attention instead.

d20 Deleterious (Bad Stuff) Cosmetic (Weird Stuff) Beneficial (Helpful Stuff)
1 Teeth fall out or become needle-sharp. Hairless or exceptionally fluffy. Stronger. Strength increases. This may increase the stat beyond human
Eventually may turn into bite attack. May end up a true fur-ball. maximums, as high as 7. Maximum bonus to d20 roll remains +13.
2 Skin rots or develops suppurating boils. Change skin and or hair colour. Better. Endurance increases. May end up as high as 7.
3 Ears wither away or turn into bony horns. Ears change shape. Faster. Agility increases. May go as high as 7.
4 Hand withers or locks into claw. Lips grow or disappear. Smarter. Thought increases. May go as high as 6 or 7, but strange
Eventually may become a weapon. madnesses start developing as brain becomes inhuman.
5 Vestigial fingers or toes. Eventually they Nose grows or disappears. Psionic evolution. Mental ability develops or spell acquired as an innate
may become fully functional. Possibility of prehensile nose. ability usable once per day.
6 Vestigial gills or gas bladder. Eventually Eyes change colour. May end up Tougher. Life increased. This can get ridiculous. May be useful for a wizard.
may permit breathing water or gas. radically weird.
7 Vestigial wings or flagellae. Eventually Grow taller or shorter. May become Resilient. Immune system boosted, gain [+] against disease, poison,
they may become functional. much taller or shorter. radiation, or any one other environmental effect.
8 Fingers wither or become raw. Eventually Mouth widens or narrows. Psionic augmentation. Develop supernatural aptitude with one type of
they may wither away. Eventually it may disappear. skill and make all relevant rolls with [+].
9 Joints stiffen or become weak, but Small horns or bony plates grow. Supersoldier reflexes. Gain [+] on initiative. Always get one action during
hypermobile. Movement slowed. This may turn into armor. surprise round.
10 Chronic fatigue or keratin ropes grow Patterns appear on skin. Later, Expert mimicry. Can flawlessly reproduce any action seen. Always gain [+]
from body. Eventually body may become these move and shift. Later, the to a skill test to perform an action they have already seen performed (i.e.
sessile mass of keratin ropes. movements become controlled. monkey see, monkey do).
11 Eyes turn milky and blind. Eventually eyes Voice changes, becomes oddly Cosmic channeling. When hero sees somebody cast a spell they test Aura
may evaporate and collapse out of eye inhuman. Eventually it becomes a to see if you can grab an echo of it and save it in their personality matrix
sockets. Vision reduced to astral sight. cascade of colours and sensations. (inventory) for later.
12 Intelligence reduced or personality Blood changes colour, becoming Mule. Can carry twice as much as a normal human. Speed may eventually
becomes strangely alien. blue or green. be reduced as carrying capacity increases.
13 Feet deformed or oddly turned. Skin becomes smooth and waxy. Metabolic enhancement. Derive sustenance from anything organic, and
Eventually may turn into hooves, paws, Eventually it becomes translucent, stomach is immune to organic poisons. Unfortunately, alcohol barely
or bird legs. then flesh follows. works anymore.
14 Vestigial tail or arm. Eventually may Muscles grow slimmer or bulkier. Optic augmentation. Eyes become sharper and more amazing than those
become functional. Eventually this becomes extreme. of any normal human.
15 Bones become soft or brittle. Eventually Skull changes, becoming rounder Sensory expansion. Develop eerie new senses: vibration sense,
may dissolve entirely. or elongated. echolocation, electro-detection, a magnetic sense. Choose one.
16 Back becomes fused or hunched. Features become animalistic. Chosen regenerator. No longer make death tests. Every time hero is
Eventually a shell-like carapace may Eventually they may become reduced to zero Life their body goes into hibernation as it reassembles
form. completely animal. itself at rate of 1 Life per day. Each reassembly reduces Endurance by 1.
17 Strange bones erupt from skin in odd Eyes grow larger or smaller. Plastic bone structure. Can slowly adjust the shape and size of bones,
places. May develop into spikes or armor Eventually they may disappear or squeezing through small spaces, growing taller or shorter, or mimicking
over time. become disembodied. other people’s faces.
18 Additional eye or teeth grow somewhere Fingers grow longer or shorter. Predator. Quickly heal by consuming and reprocessing similar biomatter
odd. Eye is functional. Teeth can be Eventually they may turn into long, (animals for animals, golems for golems). Recover 1 Life for every stone
coaxed to grow into an additional mouth multi-tool like assemblages of of flesh consumed (so about 10 Life for a fully grown humanoid). During
with a bit of biomancy and surgery. chitin and bone. healing-feeding frenzy, consume a stone of flesh per action.
19 Tongue fuses to jaw or is covered in sharp Bone structure becomes bulkier or Precognitive mutation. Occasionally see glimpses of the future. It hurts,
radulae. Speech becomes strange. more gracile. but it works. Can spend 1 Life to roll a test to avoid damage with [+].
20 Secondary brain begins to develop, Skin becomes cuttlefish-like, Secret weapon. Body carries natural weapons hidden within it, perhaps
eventually achieving a semblance of changing colour at the flickering of claws within fingers, blades within arms, or venomous fangs in the
independent thought. thought and emotion. mouth. Whatever. Hero now has natural weaponry.

200 The Stuff