ERWkst 1

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DBT for Private Practice ERwkst1.

rtf

Emotion Regulation versus Emotion Tolerance


Feeling Words

Love Compassion Amusement Glumness


Fear Surprise Cheerfulness Sorrow
Sadness Lust Pleasure Gloom
Anxiety Apathy Delight Pride
Agony Passion Rapture Nervousness
Dread Boldness Elation Thrill
Defeat Tenderness Exasperation Distress
Horror Shyness Hope Hope
Despair Insecurity Grouchiness Astonishment
Fright Curiosity Happiness Misery
Adoration Suffering Jealousy Bashfulness
Worry Infatuation Isolation Grief
Affection Pity Resentment Impatience
Panic Like Anguish Hurt
Attraction Neglect Outrage Intrigue
Tenseness Sympathy Depression
Caring Joy Neglect
Apprehension Sentimentality Loneliness

A: Feelings you don’t care either way about (you could take them or leave them)

B: Feelings you like to have and seek out

C: Feelings you hate to have and avoid at all costs

D: Feelings you dislike and try to avoid, but don’t panic over

E: Feelings you wish to increase and have more often

© Thomas Marra/New Harbinger Publications 2005 1


DBT for Private Practice ERwkst1.rtf

In order to decrease emotional discomfort, you need to increase activities that bring those positive feelings
you seek. As a first gesture toward problem solving, think of activities that formerly brought such feelings.
Never mind that recently those activities no longer produce the feelings they used to. Just list them here. You
will return to them later in the program, and this exercise will eventually assist you to feel less depressed.

Activities that used to result in the feelings listed under B and E. (Examples: I used to go to social gatherings,
ride my bike, watch movies with friends.)

The obstacles or barriers to increasing the above activities. (Example: I wait until I feel like it, and I rarely feel
like it any more.)

Now deal with the feelings that you hate to have and would avoid at all costs (those listed under C). What
horrible or lasting effect occurs when you experience these feelings? Do people die? Do your loved ones
forever reject you? List below the horrible and lasting effects on your life when you feel these feelings:

Now, in the list you just made above, attempt to discriminate between those feelings you prefer not to have, as
opposed to those things that are really catastrophic and life-changing events. Which of your hated feelings
actually causes you substantial and long-lasting emotional pain? Write them here:

This exercise will help you to discriminate anticipatory fear from real consequences of your emotions. So much
of what we anticipate is based on fear rather than reality. By discriminating between the two, you are more
likely to eliminate artificial barriers to change. You will have considerable practice in the remainder of this
program working through these general first observations.

© Thomas Marra/New Harbinger Publications 2005 2

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