Imrad Tibobading
Imrad Tibobading
Imrad Tibobading
gender have become increasingly prevalent. Despite these efforts, the mindset of millennials
regarding gender remains largely unchanged. Limited research exists on the correlation
between gender and parental preference. This paper explores the preference of Bacooreño
structured interviews, and thematic analysis, data were collected from ten parents. Based on the
results, four parents did not have a preference. On the other hand, the informants who
answered gay generated four themes. These include, gays are fun to be with, achievers, family-
oriented, and are multifaceted. The informants who favor lesbian children, led to a theme that
lesbians are as decisive as boys. The basis of the reasons obtained from the study are religion,
societal norms, peer experiences, and permissive belief, which sheds light on the complexities
of parental preferences regarding the gender of their children. The research suggests the
creation and conduction of three possible solutions to create a more inclusive and accepting
society. First, advocate for equality and open mindedness. Then, seminars that will discuss the
ways that stigma and discrimination and lastly promote gender acceptance programs through a
The Philippines is considered as one of the most gay-friendly countries among the world
(Tang, X., & Poudel A., 2018). However, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer
(LGBTQ) people still face tough challenges, namely discrimination, prejudice, and stigma, as
most Filipinos have not yet accepted that these people are normal variants of human sexuality
al. (2014), several reasons such as minority stressors were all positively correlated among
lesbian and gay individuals. Furthermore, in the study of Roggemans et al. in 2015, religious
beliefs emerged as the most common reason towards hate for gay and lesbian people, as
Muslims, along with Christians, hold more negative attitudes toward homosexuality. Numerous
studies have been conducted on LGBTQ children telling their parents about their sexual
orientation, including responses (Chrisler, 2017; Tyler, 2015; Tyler & Abetz, 2019). However,
only a small minority of research is conducted regarding the preference of parents whether they
prefer more gay or lesbian individuals, providing a better understanding about the stigma and
collectivistic society, Filipino families serve as the foundation for the development of individual
values.
Parents play central roles in supporting or discouraging sexual minority feelings and
behaviors because they are the main socializing agents for children (Docena, 2013).
Discovering that a child identifies as lesbian or gay represents a deeply impactful and
transformative experience. (Diamond & Shpigel, 2014). On the better side, studies showed that
over time, most parents tend to become more accepting or, at the very least, more tolerant of
the sexual orientation of their child (Beals & Peplau, 2006 & Savin-Williams & Ream, 2003).
This evolving acknowledgement and acceptance of families, especially the parents, can
not only enhance the support provided to the gay and lesbian children but also actively
contribute to eliminating the stigma associated with non-heteronormative identities (Goldfried &
idea, especially when it comes to enhancing the well-being of teenagers (Steinberg, 2001). This
emphasizes how the connection between parents and their children continues to shape one's
Therefore, the researchers opted to conduct a study which explores the preference of
parents residing in Bacoor City on having a lesbian or gay child. Through a localized lens, the
research seeks to discover the factors shaping parental preferences and shed light on the
complexities surrounding the acceptance of diverse sexual orientations within this community.
The study was conducted to determine the preference of Bacooreño parents on having
3. How do these reasons affect the preference of Bacooreno parents regarding having lesbian
or gay children?
II. METHODOLOGY
In this section, the researchers interpreted the findings from the data gathered through a
thematic analysis. Divided into three categories, this discussed the Preference of Bacooreño
Parents on Having Lesbian or Gay, the Themes Founded and Factors Affecting the Responses,
which answered the specific problems.
2.1. Factors That Affect the Preference of Parents on Having Lesbian or Gay Children
The second category assesses the factors that affected the Bacooreño parents to their
children. It identifies the reasons behind parents' actions. There are five factors: gays are fun to
be with, achievers, family-oriented, are multifaceted. While lesbians are as decisive as boys.
3.1. Basis That Affect the Preference of Bacooreño Parents on Having Lesbian or Gay Children
The second category assesses the basis that affected the Bacooreño parents to their
children. It identifies the themes that arose. These include religion, societal norms, peer
experiences, and permissive belief.
3.1. Religion
Being surrounded by religious people has a significant impact on how people perceive
and behave toward things. Religion continues to influence people's responses, specifically, the
parents.
“Ang pipiliin ko po ay wala because according to the bible, Genesis 1:27 it stated that God
created mankind in his own image, male and female he created them. And as a christian
believer, I believed that only male and female are created by God and he did not create any gay
or lesbian in this world.” (“I don’t want to have either of the two because according to the bible,
Genesis 1:27 it stated that God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he
created them; male and female he created them. As a christian believer, I believed that only
male and female are created by God and he did not create any gay or lesbian in this world.”)
Vajpayee (2021) argued that religious beliefs play a role and are one among the variables
that impact human behavior. Also, according to McGee's (2016) analysis, religion is one of the
variables influencing people's views towards homosexuality. To Roggemans et al., (2015),
religious individuals are more likely than non-religious people to report prejudice against
homosexuals.
3.2. Societal Norms
The societal norms had an impact on the parents' responses. Since gays and lesbians
are perceived as differently by the society, parents have different claims on why they chose gay
or lesbian as their child. It implies that parents’ responses vary depending on their environment.
“Ang pipiliin ko po ay tomboy, Ang rason ko po kasi…ang tomboy lalaki kung magdesisyon,
may paninindigan.” (“I will choose lesbians, for the reason that lesbians are just like boys, when
they make decisions, they stand firm to that decision.”)
“Gay, kasi ang lesbian brusko e.. Parang lalaki rin yan e brusko pero kapag ang gay parang
girl malambing ganun at maaasahan.” (“I prefer gay over lesbians because lesbians are very
masculine, but a gay is more like a girl, very caring and reliable.”)
Societal norms feminize gay men and masculinize lesbian women to ensure consistency in
the dimensions of sex, gender, and sexuality (Eisner, 2013). The study of Mize & Manago, 2018
adds to the literature by identifying gender differences in how femininity is the indicator of
someone’s sexuality. This finding of the study sample expands on research that shows that
gender nonconformity serves as a proxy for sexual identity for all genders, but small deviations
from masculinity among men indicates homosexuality whereas women must demonstrate much
more dramatic gender nonconformity to be seen as homosexual.
3.3. Peer Experiences
Past experiences with friends can significantly influence the parents' preference on having a
gay or lesbian child. Some participants claimed that because of their past experiences with their
friends, they are okay and fully supportive of their child being homosexual. It implies that
parents’ responses may vary depending on their peer experiences.
“Lesbian child. This is based on my personal experience,kasi may mga friends ako na
lesbian. Mayroon akong kumare actually na nag-suffer para tanggapin ang jowa niya pero ako
as her friend, nauunawaan ko siya.” (“Lesbian child. This is based on my personal experience,
because I have a friend who is a lesbian. She suffered a lot just for her partner to be accepted
by her parents. And me, as her friend, I understand her.”)
Friends play important roles throughout our lives by providing expressive, instrumental, and
companionate support (Gillespie, et al., 2015). According to Guo, K., (2014), friends generally
play a role in shaping the behavior and beliefs of an individual. If parents have had past
experiences with LGBTQ+ friends or acquaintances, they may be more accepting and
supportive of their child's sexual orientation. This also impacts the level of understanding,
support, and acceptance they offer.
3.4. Permissive Belief
Allowing a child to explore and embrace their sexual orientation, whether it be gay or
lesbian, is an accepting approach that prioritizes the child's autonomy and individual identity.
Some parents who prefer both gay and lesbian implies that their child's self-discovery and
acceptance of their sexual orientation demonstrate a commitment to fostering a nurturing
environment where their child feels safe to be authentic and true to themselves. This approach
promotes emotional well-being and strengthens the parent-child bond through open
communication, understanding, and unconditional love.
“I want to have both as my child. Their gender does not matter to me at all. If they are my
child then there is no question about it.”
“Pareho dahil ‘yon ang gusto nila para sa sarili nila.” (“I prefer to have both as my child
because that is what they want for themselves.”)
Some parents prefer both gay and lesbian since they believe in the permissive style of
parenting. According to the study of Wischerth, G., (2016) permissive parenting style is
characterized by overall positive regard and a general child-centered approach, with a general
decreased use of parental control. It promotes psychological development, and protects children
from having pressure, low-self-esteem, and toxic stress.
IV. CONCLUSIONS
Based on the results obtained in the study, the preferences of Bacooreñio parents regarding
their children's sexual orientation inclined most on gays, with four of ten choosing them. The
four respondents had no preference at all, while the other two gravitated towards lesbians.
Four themes emerged from the conducted interviews regarding parental perceptions of gays
and lesbians: gays are fun to be with, achievers, family-oriented, and are multifaceted, whereas
lesbians are as decisive as boys. These findings suggest that societal attitudes, personal
beliefs, and peer experiences shape parental preferences and are the largest influencers
regarding their children's sexual orientation. Overall, the study shows that what parents want for
their child's sexual orientation is shaped by what they believe, what they've been through, and
what society thinks.
V. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Firstly, we would like to express our sincere thankfulness to the Almighty God for His
direction, favor, and grace throughout the study's execution. Without Him, this modest task
might not have been completed.
Additionally, we would like to express our gratitude to everyone who helped make this
research possible in any way, even if they are not mentioned here.
To the respondents of this study, who sacrificed their own time and errands just to participate
in this study, and for giving out their best to answer our interviews as well as providing us great
perspectives. For the people who became conduits for us to have respondents and became a
way for this study to be successful.
To our family, who inspired us to process this work with their unwavering love and support.
To our teachers, for their kind concern in helping to carry out the study's approach. To our
principal, Mr. Ronald R. Drio, who provided us with the chance to embark on this incredibly
amazing project. We are appreciative of their direction, inspiration, comprehension, wisdom,
and approval during the development process.
Lastly, to Mr. Elarcie Balsomo, our dear research adviser, whose commitment to science
research is genuinely unquestionable. We appreciate your unwavering belief in us, your helpful
criticism, and your faith and confidence in us to be given this chance.
We dedicated our study to all of you. We are grateful for your motivation and assistance in
helping us complete this project, which we value as one of our greatest life accomplishments.
Once more, thank you!
VI. REFERENCES
Alharahsheh, H. H., & Pius, A. (2020). A review of key paradigms: Positivism VS interpretivism.
Global Academic Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences, 2 (3), 39-43.
Averett, K. (2016). THE GENDER BUFFET: LGBTQ Parents Resisting Heteronormativity on
JSTOR. www.jstor.org. https://www.jstor.org/stable/24756198?searchText=gender
%20preference%20of%20 parents&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery
%3Dgender%2Bprefere nce%2Bof%2Bparents%26so
%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2Fbasic_search_gsv2%2Fc ontrol&refreqid=fastly-default
%3A49891fb101d6f353bbb24a154b764f25
Beals, K. P., & Peplau, L. A. (2006). Disclosure patterns within social networks of gay men and
lesbians. Journal of Homosexuality, 51, 101–120. doi:10.1300/J082v51n02_06
Bhattacherjee, A. (2012). Social science research: Principles, methods, and practices.
University of South Florida.
Carastathis, G. S., Cohen, L., Kaczmarek, E. A., & Chang, P. (2016). Rejected by family for
being gay or lesbian: Portrayals, perceptions, and resilience. Journal of Homosexuality,
64(3), 289–320. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2016.1179035
Chrisler, A. J. (2017). Understanding parent reactions to coming out as lesbian, gay, or
bisexual: A theoretical framework. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9(2), 165–181.
https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12194
Conley, C. L. (2011). Learning about a child’s gay or lesbian sexual orientation: parental
concerns about societal rejection, loss of loved ones, and child well being. Journal of
Homosexuality, 58(8), 1022–1040. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2011.598409
Fernandez, C. J. L., Ayro, E. C., Mamaclay, A. G., Cruz-Vidal, M. J. D., & Pangan, E. J. R.
(2023). Child Rearing Styles of Queer Parents in Relation to Child Adjustments.
International Journal of Multidisciplinary: Applied Business and Education Research,
4(7), 2296–2305. https://doi.org/10.11594/ijmaber.04.07.12
Fingerman, K. L. (2017). Millennials and their Parents: Implications of the new Young Adulthood
for Midlife Adults. Innovation in Aging, 1(3). https://doi.org/10.1093/geroni/igx026
Gillespie, B. J., Frederick, D. A., Harari, L., & Grov, C. (2015). Homophily, Close Friendship, and
Life Satisfaction among Gay, Lesbian, Heterosexual, and Bisexual Men and Women.
PLOS ONE, 10(6), e0128900. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0128900
Goldberg, A. E., Downing, J. B., & Moyer, A. M. (2012). Why parenthood, and why now? Gay
men’s motivations for pursuing parenthood. Family Relations, 61(1), 157–174.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00687.x
Goldfried, M. R., & Goldfried, A. P. (2001). The importance of parental support in the lives of
gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 57(5), 681–693.
https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.1037
Herek, G. M. (2002). Gender Gaps in Public Opinion about Lesbians and Gay Men. Public
Opinion Quarterly, 66(1), 40–66.https://doi.org/10.1086/338409
Johal, A. (2019). Accepting an LGBTQ Child: A stage model for Parents of Color - ProQuest.
https://www.proquest.com/openview/c550fb80e86cfe0b436f7ab72d5c9ed5/1?pq
origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y
Nadal, K. L., & Corpus, M. (2013). “Tomboys” and “baklas”: Experiences of lesbian and gay
Filipino Americans. Asian American Journal of Psychology, 4(3),166–175.
https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030168
Nangia, V. D. (2021, August 14). Why do gay men and straight women make such great
friends? Times of India Blog. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/o-zone/why-do
gay-men-and-straight-women-make-such-great-friends/
Nickerson, C., (2024). Interpretivism Paradigm & Research Philosophy. (2024, February 13).
https://www.simplypsychology.org/interpretivismparadigm.html?fbclid=IwAR2KWWG2fj
JGnU2ikLyJwOLacD7OpY_9s7RBdrd1G07C 4N5aeFZrbxs4s
Ocampo, Ceejay & Tibudan, April Joyce & Marcelo, Daniela & Tus, Jhoselle. (2021). The Lived
Experiences and Challenges Faced of the Lesbian Parents: A Phenomenological Study
in the Philippines During COVID-19 Pandemic. International Journal Of Advance
Research And Innovative Ideas In Education. 7. 10.6084/m9.figshare.14029394.v1.
Pollitt, A. M., Mernitz, S. E., Russell, S. T., Curran, M. A., & Toomey, R. B. (2019).
Heteronormativity in the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer young people. Journal
of Homosexuality, 68(3), 522–544. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2019.1656032
Raley, S., & Bianchi, S. (2006). Sons, Daughters, and Family Processes: Does Gender of
Children Matter? on JSTOR. www.jstor.org. https://www.jstor.org/stable/29737745?
searchText=gender%20preference%20of%20pa ents&searchUri=%2Faction
%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3Dgender%2Bpreference 2Bof%2Bparents%26so
%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2Fbasic_search_gsv2%2Fcontrol&re reqid=fastly-default
%3A22fe689377550dc58162f58d2ce486bb
Savin-Williams, R. C., & Ream, G. L. (2003). Sex variations in the disclosure to parents of
same-sex attractions. Journal of Family Psychology, 17, 429 – 438. doi:10.1037/0893
3200.17.3.429
Selekman, J. (2017). Homosexuality in children and/or their parents - ProQuest.
https://www.proquest.com/openview/b38b2cea67eb6827e8de82d2262fb83d/1?pq
origsite=gscholar&cbl=47659
Steinberg, L. (2001). Adolescent development. Annual Review of Psychology, 52, 83–110.
doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.52.1.83
Tan, A. C., Reyes, M. E., & Davis, R. (2019, June 10). Parental Attitude, Internalized
Homophobia, and Suicidal Ideation Among Selected Self-Identified Filipino Gay Men in
the Philippines [Review of Parental Attitude, Internalized Homophobia, and Suicidal
Ideation Among Selected Self-Identified Filipino Gay Men in the Philippines].
http://www.suicidology-online.com/pdf/SOL-2019-10 8.pdf?
fbclid=IwAR1oVh_t2HjKhOuHIqgF1_MMMEhzrWdOJ4b5K8Yry9Fg3pT9urvBre1l Bw
Thynne, A. (2021). Building resilience: A multifaceted set of skills and attitudes | He kupu.
https://www.hekupu.ac.nz/article/building-resilience-multifaceted-set-skills-and-attitudes
Umut, B. a. F., & Aybars, A. İ. (2017). Coming out to parents: transformation of the families with
LGBTQ children. https://open.metu.edu.tr/handle/11511/26575