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Hopeless Places by Nelly Page

Chapter 1

I think my life was cursed right from my mother’s womb.

Nah, corrections- right from the sack of the monster that
violated her. My mother was born both physically and
neurologically disabled; she’s fully blind and mute. She
couldn’t give a description of a man who violated her.
She couldn't tell where and how it went down. My
grandmother discovered the pregnancy after 2 monthsand
kept hoping that someone would come and claim the
pregnancy. 26 years later, nobody has ever come,justice
hasn’t been served.

My love life has never been rosy. Every time I meet someone
I envision a future only to end up with a brokenheart. I don’t
know why I’m crazy about men, I really want to find love and
get married. I want the whole 1970 ethical principle of a
woman. Marriage, kids, husband who dies first, insurance
pay-outs and happily ever after.But unfortunately I haven’t
had a relationship that get to “family introductions” stage.

I’ve had a lot of heartbreaks but this one takes the cup.It’s
5pm and I’m in a pub I don’t even know, I just saw
someone who looked drunk coming out and made my way
here, in my work uniform. I’m two shots in and all
the pain just flooded back in. I liked Tom, I really did. Wewere
strong for four months and I honestly saw myself walking
down the aisle. I let my guard down, I thought I
was safe, I left no room for disappointment. He was mine, I
was so sure of it, until I received that phone call.
Oh, that phone call!
“I need another shot,” I say to the bartender.
He gives me a judgmental look before serving me.
Some people don’t know how to mind their fuckin’
business.

So, back to the phone call. It was the wife calling me using
Tom’s phone. Yes, he’s been married all this time.One thing
men have shown me is consistency in not giving a fuck about
women. He had the nerve to text meyesterday and say he
moved out of the main bedroom and talked to his lawyers
about divorce. Tom underestimates my intelligence too
much, he could've come up with a better lie. I have been
heartbroken
before, I know heartbreak, but this one is a discovery
shem.
I hate everything with a letter T, including tequila.

“Having a good time?” asks someone standing next tome.

Today is just not the day, trust me.
“What do you want?” I don’t even have the energy to
look at him.
“I’m just saying hello,” he says.
“Hello and goodbye.” I don’t want company, I hate menwith
passion and I’m definitely not interested in a man who hangs
out in a pub on a Thursday evening.
“I’m sure a stupid man is behind this.” He’s not
determined to leave me alone and in his stupid head I’m
going to open up to a total stranger about why I’m sad.
“Dude, go away!” I turn my eyes to him. Uh, no. It’s not a
dude, this man is old enough to be my uncle and he’s in a suit
looking so respectable.
“You have a young man’s voice,” I probably shouldn’t have
said this, I’m just surprised. He sounds better thanhe looks.
He’s probably in his late 40s owning a few
trucks, with a wife at home and chicks at the side.“If
that’s a compliment, thank you,” he says.
“No, it wasn’t but it’s okay. I’m sorry I was rude, I thoughtit
was one of these punks who take chances with every woman
they see sitting alone. Do you want a shot? A beer? Should I
order you something?” Oh gosh, I’m not even among the top
earners at work, I don’t know why
I’m being so generous.
He ignores me and asks, “You work at New Universe?My
friend was once a chief director officer there.”
Ow, here comes the rich friends stories! He’s definitely afake
blesser, he wants me to be hooked and fooled into thinking
that he’s rich.
“Where else did you have friends? Parliament?” I’m
already tipsy, this is cracking my ribs.
“Well, I know a few people in there,” he falls right into
the trap. Now I’m convinced even this suit he’s wearingis
fake.
“I’m Xolani Hadebe,” he extends his hand for a shake.
“Nice to meet you, I guess ‘they’ call you Mr X.” I’m
talking about the young girls he lures into his fake, flashy
life.
“I’m Nale, short for Nalenhle. Everything about me comes in
abundance, as my name says. I just don’t know if it’s really
good abundance because yoh, life isshowing me flames.”
“Nice to meet you, Nale.” He stretches a thin smile that
doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I was seeing a married man not knowing that he was
married. The wife called me.” I might as well tell him thestory
since he already knows my name.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he says with an awkward
chuckle.
“His name was Tom,” I tell him.
He nods, so I take it he wants to hear more. I take him back
to the beginning when Tom asked me out for thefirst time.
By the time I finish telling the story he’s already Team
Nale. I didn’t deserve what Tom did.
“Anyway, what’s up with a suit in a pub?” I ask.
“I’m coming from my late brother’s firm, I was holding a
meeting with his employees so I had to look
representable,” he says.
“Mmm, nice. Sorry about your brother.” I shouldn’t havesaid
this together with the word “nice.” It didn’t sound right.
“Thanks, we are burying him on Saturday,” he says.
Now I’m sad for him, I thought he’s been dead for some
time, not someone who’s still in the mortuary. He’s probably
here out of grief and I’m going on and on abouta married
man that fucked me while his wife was at home.
“I’m really sorry Tom,” I say.He
chuckles, “Thanks Nale.”Oh
fuck, did I call him Tom?
“I saw you sitting alone, drinking by yourself and thought
there must be a reason such a young, beautiful lady is here. I
can give you a good platform to release all these emotions
and cry as much as you want.”
“A crying platform?” I’ve never heard of it.
“A funeral. My brother’s funeral. You can come and cry. ”Oh,
funny man! He keeps making me laugh.
“That’s a good one,” I laugh.
“No, I’m serious. I will compensate you fairly if you cando
that for me,” he says.
“Compensate me for crying at your brother’s funeral? Yini,
did everyone hate him?” I’m confused. Didn’t his brother
have wife and kids who will cry for him when thecoffin goes
down?
He glances at his surroundings and then leans closer tome.
“No, I want you to come and cry as if you were his side-
chick."
“Oh!” I’m puzzled by this.
“Can you do that for me?”
Can’t I get a minute to think about it? “I
can compensate for your time, R3k.”“For
crying?” I’m stunned.
Never have I ever been promised money for crying!
“Important detail; crying like you were his sidechick," he
says.
Whose rich uncle is this? I can even faint, R3k is a lot of
money.
“Can I ask why you want to do this to your brother?” I’m
curious because it sounds like his brother was a
businessman, even in his death there’s a status to uphold
and protect.
“It’s between me and his wife,” he says.
“Did he have kids?” I want to know how many lives am I
going to ruin with this.
“Two sons and one daughter. All grown up, theyunderstand
such things happen in marriage.”
It’s a tough one, I think it is going to be one of those
classy funerals with a dress code, media coverage, black
limos and flying doves.
“Let me think about it, Mr Hadebe.” I don’t want to come
across as desperate, I’m also going to need more than a
promise, maybe a deposit before the funeral.
He offers to settle my bill before leaving. I don’t know when
I got sober, Tom is no longer on my mind, now I’mmore
interested in the Hadebes. I know Google and social media
will never fail me.

I type his name on the Facebook search button and a few

profiles pop up. His is easily identifiable, he’s got a
number of followers and only business related posts onhis
timeline. There’s one recent post that has funeral
announcement with details and tags. One tagged nameis
Nzalo Hadebe, he has a photo of the late Sbusiso Hadebe on
his profile with a caption; Rest Easy, Dad.
This is my “stepson” and he looks old enough, maybe he’s in
his mid-30s. His uncle was right, they’re old enough to
understand that side-chicks exist. I’m going totake this gig
and do a stellar job, his uncle will even consider giving me a
bonus.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 2

It’s Friday morning, whether I like it or not I have to be atwork

and write the day. My head is pounding, I’m only able to stand
my breath because obviously I can’t kill myself. A walk to the
bathroom feels like Mandela’s long
walk to freedom. Two minutes feel like twenty sevenyears.
I get to the bathroom door and turn the handle,
someone blocks it.
“I’m inside,” that’s my cousin’s voice, Zola, yelling frominside.
See why I need to get rich and find my own separate place.
We left home and decided to share rent and live together. It
made financial sense when we did it. But now I’m
heartbroken, hung-over and late for work, and Istill have to
wait for her to finish her bath first.
I wait by the door with my eyes closed. I need to eat
something and take pills, otherwise this headache is going
to kill me. Zola finally opens the door and walksout naked.
“Don’t tell me you were out drinking last night,” she’scoming
from a night shift.
“I didn’t spend my money,” I justify myself. Yes, at first Iwas
going to spend my money, but my guardian angel came over
and settled my bill.
“A kind man settled my bill and offered me a job,” I puther
out of the misery.
Her eyes stretch out in disbelief. “A man offered you ajob in
a bar, in this economy? No CV, no interview?”
She’s too rational, you can’t rationalize everything in life.
“Once-off gig; I have to cry in a funeral,” I say.
She holds her chest, bursting into laughter. It sounds
funny, except that I’m not laughing, it did happen and Iam
going to cry in a funeral.
“Let me take a bath, I will brief you about everything. And
by the way, I’m going to be R3k richer,” I say andrush
inside the bathroom, disregarding her yelled questions. I
might need her to come with me, in case Iover-cry and
need someone to hold me.

I take a cold bath and shiver throughout. Fridays are short,

I’m not too worried about my bossy line manager,I only have
to tolerate her for a few hours and then I won’t have to see
her wrinkled face for two days.
Zola should be in bed getting a rest, but she’s waiting forme
on the couch with a blanket around her shoulders. I
take my cosmetic basket to lotion in front of her while
taking her back to Xolani Hadebe’s ambush.
“What is the catch?” she asks.
Zola watches too many Chinese movies. Not everythinghas a
catch, some people are just lucky.
“He said it’s between him and his late brother’s wife. Tobe
honest with you, I don’t care about anything. I will gothere
and cry, then I will get my money and never see any of them
again.”
“Nale, you’re going to ruin a man’s reputation,” she says.
Obviously she didn’t hear me saying the man is dead.
“What reputation? He’s dead.” I gather my things andleave
her with her thousand questions.
Oh, wait.
I turn back, “You have to help me get an outfit at the mall
after work.”
“Siyoyicela ivuthiwe!” she claps her hands in despair.
She will eat her words when I’m R3k richer, let me go towork.
-
-
-
I work for wiring harness manufacturers as a general worker.
I’m on my feet most of the times, being screamed at and
running between engineers and assembly machines. I don’t
hate my job, but I don’t like iteither. I work the hardest, most
of us general workers do, and we get paid the least. People
like MaKhoza just put on their ironed uniforms and chew
gum the whole day then get paid large sums of money. Not
to mention
that they’re driving company cars and kicking up dust toour
faces on the road.

I check my watch for time and remember that the battery

died a month ago and I never renewed it. I’m not a perfectly
detailed individual, I let a lot of things slide. I’m a total
opposite of my perfectionist cousin. I have gladly worn a
watch that stopped working a month ago. Right
now both my watch and I don’t know what the time is. I
have no choice but to turn to MaKhoza.
“MaKhoza what is the time?” I ask her, she has herphone in
her hand, Whatsapp’ing.
“Get the work done Nalenhle, you’re still here for
another hour.”
Urgh, I thought it was close to 3pm. I have an importantgig
to find an outfit for. I hope Zola hasn’t forgotten because
she’s going to the mall with me.

An hour feels like a day under MaKhoza’s supervision. She

knows that most of us don’t like her. I’m not sure if we don’t
like her because she screams when doing her job or we low-
key want her job for ourselves. I internallyscream Hallelujah
when I see her walking in and checking the panels. Finally, I
can get out of this place and call it a week. I’m going straight
home, I catch a taxiand call Zola informing her that I’m on my
way. I haven’t
practiced tomorrow’s act, I hope I have a Mercy Johnsonin me
that’s going to pop out and pull an Oscar winning
performance.

I walk in to Zola cuddled up on the couch in her hideous

pyjamas.
“You’re still not ready?” “Nale,
you have to stop this.”
Gosh! I don’t need another lecture.
“I researched about them, this Xolani man is not good.He
didn’t get along with his brother, he’s using you to hurt his
wife and that’s not okay. She’s a God-fearing woman who
loves giving back to the community,” she says.
God-fearing? I’m sure she’s a prayer warrior. She’s going to
pray, God will never give her more than what she can
handle. I will go and get the dress without Zola.I don’t think
she will accompany me tomorrow, I may goalone, as a solo
act.

My phone rings, I’m walking back to the road to catch ataxi,

Zola just ruined my mood. The caller is persistent and
getting me irritated.
“I was going to call you back,” I say.
I don’t know who this is, I’m just irritated that he’s not
dropping the call.
“Always in a bad mood, huh?"
I remember his voice very well. It sounds even more
good over the phone.
“Mr X?” I’ve been waiting for his call.
“I know you’re back from work. Can we meet at the mallin
an hour?”
“I’m on my way there as we speak.” I’m happy, we are going
to seal this deal, I need my deposit today. I’m going to buy
Zola a pair of cheap earrings, just to proveher wrong.
-
-
-

I would’ve loved this car better if it was black, I’m obsessed

with everything black except being blacklisted.It’s suede in
colour, a very ridiculous choice. But it’s a Jaguar, he’s black
and he owns it. I’ve never been insidea Jaguar before, it took
everything in me not to scream when it pulled up after our
brief meeting. He’s not driving, someone else is on the
wheel. This man is wealthy, even if this breaks his brother’s
children he will take them to psychological counselors, they
will be fine.
He didn’t tell me the reason why he wants his brother’s wife
to think she was cheated on, I didn’t bother him witha lot of
questions either. I know his late brother’s favorite
restaurants, hang-out spots and I have some fabricated texts
screenshots, in case anyone questions if I really knew him.
Mr X has assured me that nothing is going to come back to
me, after my act they will be too busy
fixing the family and protecting their image. I don’t see
anyone standing on my way.

I’m outside, I can see Zola standing by the window. I’msure

now she regrets not coming with me, both of us would’ve
ridden this Jaguar.
“Is that your mother Nalenhle?” Mr X asks.
I laugh thinking how angry this can make Zola, she’sonly
three years older than me.
“My cousin,” I say.
“Oh, my bad. How is Tom?”
I roll my eyes. Before he mentioned him, I didn’t even
remember that Tom exists. I drank him away yesterday,he no
longer holds any power over me.
“We will talk via Whatsapp, Mrs Tom,” he teases.
I bid goodbye and climb out of the Jaguar. They driveaway, I’m
poor again.
-
-
-

Zola is only here because she’s protective of me. Shedidn’t

approve of this but she helped me dress up abedid my
hair. I have to look like a proper sidechick, someone who’d
make a married man forget his vows,
that’s why I’m in high heels. I have to adjust the brim of my
hat every now and then to be able to see where I’m going,
it’s quite huge.
We’ve made it to the venue, the service has already
commenced. Zola is holding my arm, I don’t do well in heels,
she says I bend my knees and look funny. At leastwith her
holding me I feel safe enough to walk straight and not bend
my knees.
Didn’t I say there will be cameras here?
“Oh my word, the coffin!” Zola whispers.
It’s a beautiful, gold-plated coffin. Ever seen a coffin so
beautiful that you even wish it was you lying dead inside?
This funeral looks more beautiful than my uncle’s wedding.
My eyes are searching for Mr X but I don’t see him. We are
ushered to empty chairs and given the program, withtwo
bottles of water.
“Sorry, sorry,” a girl whispers, leaning to us. “Have youguys
joined Abathwali Funeral Services?”
What the eff? We are not here because we want to die.
“Please leave us alone,” Zola politely turns her away.
I’m not sure she did that with anyone else here.
Opportunists are everywhere, even in funerals.
My phone vibrates, I check the text, it comes from an unsaved
number. It’s almost time, I give Zola my phoneand glasses. I
also need to take these heels off.
“Don’t let me fall down,” I say to her.
She heaves a low sigh. I’m going to compensate her forthis,
she mustn’t worry.
I don’t even know who’s that, she’s talking about Mr
Sbusiso’s loving character and how he always put a smile on
everyone’s face. All it takes is for me to thinkabout how I was
born. I was born to no father, by a
mother who’s never said a word to me or seen my face
because of her disabilities. Zola calls her mother
everyday and chat to her. My mother is also alive but we
can’t talk.
I’m crying about everything; my life and Tom. Now I want to
throw myself on the floor but Zola isn’t close enough. I have
attracted a lot of attention.
“Sbusiso why? Why, my love?” I keep saying.
The hall just went dead quiet, this is exactly how Mr X
wanted this.
“Vuka Sbusiso, wake up.” I’m running towards the coffin.I
hope they closed it well.
Someone grabs me and holds me back. It’s not Zola, buta guy
in a black suit. Zola isn’t committed in doing her job. I
should’ve hired this man right from the start.
He’s pulling me outside, there’s a girl following us with abottle
of water.

I stop crying once we are outside. Why the hell is Zolanot

coming out? I need my heels.
“You can go back inside, I will take care of it,” says the
guardian angel who held me to the lady. She gives me abottle
of water and returns inside.
“Who are you?” the guy asks.
I look at him, careful now with no tears in my eyes.
Damn, it’s the deceased son I saw on Facebook.
Do I start crying again? “Hey!”
he sharply stops me.
I hold it back. “I’m sorry to come like this, I just wanted tosee
him one last time.”
“Who are you?” His voice is firmer than before.
I take a deep breath and tell him. “I’m Nalenhle, your
father and I were together. I know this is a shocker andtrust
me, I didn’t want to cause a scene. Just
that…seeing him like that…I never thought.”
“Stop, just stop, okay? I need you to take your little
friend and leave,” he says, pointing at me with a
trembling finger.
Zola comes out on time. This guy isn’t playing with me. I
thought Mr X would come and save me, but I guess he
wanted things to end like this. I grab my sunglasses andheels
from her.
“Let’s go,” I say.
I take one step forward, his hand grabs me.I
look at him, a bit shaken.
“See you soon, mamncane,” he says.
My chest starts rolling drums. I feel threatened, which wasn’t
part of the plan. Mr X needs to sort this out, he said nothing
will come after me. I don’t want to see thisNzalo guy soon, I’m
not his mamncane.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 3
I spent the last six days obsessing about the Hadebes, I was
paranoid everyday thinking someone would show up at work
and ask me questions. But as Mr X promised,nothing has
happened. What I did was scandalous but it didn’t make it to
the media, I guess they’ve fixed their reputation and moved
on.
It’s my payday, I’m going home to see my mom. With theextra
money that I hustled on the side, I’m going to add more to the
grocery money than I usually do. I’m not a breadwinner at
home, I only contribute whatever I want
to contribute, my mother receives disability grant and
that’s solely what she raised me up with.

My mother lives with my uncle and his wife, Zola’s parents.

We are a small family, our bond is unbreakable.I may have
rebelled as a teen and almost ruined my relationship with my
uncle, but now I’m grown and responsible. I still drink and
party, but there’s a limit to everything. I respect his house
rules when I’m home, even though some are stupid, like not
wearing pants andshort skirts.
I have to go to the house and change into a dress that
covers my knees before taking a taxi home. Zola worksfor
the same company as me, but she’s a nightshift squad,
most of the times our dates of visiting home clash. I’m
leaving her in bed, about to get up and readyherself for her
shift. She gave me R300 to give to her mother. Zola is every
parent’s dream child. I also want my children to take after
her when I have them. Zola
minds her own business, she’s never been in any dating
scandal, and she’s a non-alcoholic family-loving
daughter.

I was every parent’s worst nightmare growing up. My uncle

once got so fed up, he ended up saying I was doing
everything to exploit the fact that my mother is blind and
she can’t say anything to me because she’smute. I will never
forget those words, I cried myself tosleep that night. I vowed
to prove him wrong and not end up on the streets with kids
from different babydaddies. I can say now he’s proud of me,
even
though he hasn’t said it out loud. In my grocery shoppingI
included peanut butter and a sack of oranges because I know
how much he loves them.

I call him when the taxi gets closer to my stop and ask that he
sends Thami to come and help me carry. Thamicomes after
Zola, they’re over a decade apart, he’s
currently doing Grade 11. He’s a humble child, we invite him
to visit us during school holidays. I find him already waiting
with a wheelbarrow. He helps the taxi driver to offload
everything. In Mthonjaneni you pay for a ride andpay for
your groceries, each heavy item gets charged forlike it was
also a passenger. I wait for the driver to counthow much me
and my grocery cost, I end up paying R65. I need to win a car,
I’m going to continue entering card-scratching competitions
because this is daylight robbery.
Thami is a typical boy child, I’m asking him for an update,
like who fought with who and who’s pregnant, but he just
shrugs and says nothing much is happeningin the village.
My aunt will give me a detailed update.
My mom hears my voice as I walk through the door and
smiles. She knows my voice, she can tell when I’m standing
next to her; we have a magical connection. I
thank my uncle everyday for not abandoning her when my
grandmother died, instead he got married and moved his
wife in with my mother. His wife is the primarycaregiver, I
didn’t believe in angels before meeting this woman but now I
do.

I greet them, my uncle doesn’t even wait for me to sit down

before updating me about his sheep. I don’t care for
animals, I only love them when they’re dead and I’meating
their meat.
“That cream one just gave birth, surprisingly her lamb isa
moorit breed like it’s from Scotland.” He’s smiling as he tells
me the news. I’m thinking maybe his sheep
found a moorit boyfriend. It is not a big deal but I have toplay
along and ask a couple of questions about it.
His wife saves me. “Your mom has been excited all dayafter I
told her you’re coming home. Don’t mind his sheep stories.”
My mother can’t communicate but she can respond to my
voice with her body language. She’s into perfumes, I
take her hand and spray the new one I bought for her. She
smells it and smiles, nodding her head. She likes it,I hold her
hand and sit next to her.
“Did Zola send anything for me?” Auntie asks.
“Yeah, she said it’s for stokvel though.” I direct her to thepurse
for it.
“Your uncle will cover the stokvel, I need to pay for Manono’s
Tupperware. I’ve been owing her for two months now,” she
says folding the R300 and shoving itbetween her breasts.
She distributes the goodies I came with for Thami andhis
friend. My uncle only eats his oranges and goes
outside to fix his sheep kraal. It gets fixed everyday, he’s
obsessed with his sheep.

“I thought you’d dropped off by that expensive black car

from last month,” auntie says. She’s the only person who’s
always been cool with any boyfriend that I date. Idon’t
introduce boyfriends, her husband is strictly against men
who date the Thabethe girls. Zola is 29 buthe still wants no
man next to her unless they’re coming with a herd of cattle
for lobola. She saw me and Tom severally.
“We broke up,” I tell her.
She’s trying not to laugh. “What happened?”
“We just decided it wasn’t working.” I can’t mention thathe
was married because I’ve lied too much, she won’t believe
me if I tell her I didn’t know beforehand.
“Let’s hope you will take a little break to focus on yourself.
Your heart and body need to rest,” she says.
My mother squeezes my hand and nods. I don’t think I need
to take any break, as long as my heart is still beating. I will
stop the day I wake up in the hospital andhave the doctors
telling me that my heart can’t handle more pain.

It’s automatically my turn to cook dinner. Taps are not

working, I’m told I have to go and wait for the water truck
with Thami. This is what I hate the most about life in the
rural areas. There’s a lack of community services but we’ve
been voting like any other South African. I have toget in my
rural girl element. I wear my auntie’s apron and tie a doek
around my head. Wearing socks is essential for your legs, we
walk among insects and spiders.

There are people I don’t like, specifically in this area. ButI

have to join them in waiting because I need water. My
former best friend, Khanyisa, is here too. We were
friends until high school, she was almost like a sister to me.
Then her mother said something about my mom. I have a
good heart and I respect my elders, but there’s one line
nobody should ever cross. Anyone who speaksill of my
mother is provoking the socket of my eye.
Khanyisa couldn’t see her mother’s wrongdoing, that’s how
we ended. My mother was born disabled, claimingthat she
wasn’t raped and she’s hiding the truth about
my father hurt me to the core. I do have questions that I
haven’t asked anyone in the family because I don’t wantit to
look like I’m accusing them of something. They weretaking
care of my mother before I was even born. It doesn’t help
that I look like her mother, my grandmother.I can’t even
search for someone who looks like me and hope that he's my
father. All my features belong to my grandmother.

Khanyisa is coming to us. We haven’t spoken in years,I’m not

sure why she wants to be on my face.
“Thami, you have to hold me back if you see that I’m
about to do something crazy,” I say.
“Hhayi sisi, don’t beat her,” Thami laughs and standsbehind
the wheelbarrow.
Khanyisa comes, she stands in front of me.
I keep my eyes away from her, her mother called my
mom a blind, sex addict.
“I haven’t seen you in a long time, Nale,” she says.
I turn my eyes to her. Shem, she looks worse thanbefore,
motherhood isn’t pap and vleis.
“Hey Khanyisa,” I’m just being polite.
“I saw you arriving earlier but I was far, I couldn’t sayhello.”
I’m not a good pretender, this small talk is getting boring.
“How is work?” she asks.
“It’s okay, I can’t complain,” I say.
“I know we don’t talk but if something comes up, pleaselet
me know. Things are not good, I’m struggling,” she says.
“You’re struggling?” I’m surprised by her telling me this.
Khanyisa has pride, we were once best friends I know how she
protects her ego.
“I have a child, Nale, and her dad has been gone ever
since,” she says.
“I’m sorry to hear that. There’s nothing yet but if there’s apost
I will tell Thami and he’d come and tell you. You need to look
in call centers as well,” I say.
She rolls her eyes, “With what English?”
I burst out laughing. I forgot how crazy and brutally
honest she is.
She turns one of our buckets and sits on it, then we start
catching up. My family won’t approve of us being friends
again but it’s nice talking to someone who’s known me half
of my life. Nothing happened between her and I, wegot
caught up in our mother’s issues.
-
-
-
It’s Sunday, I have to leave, tomorrow I’m going to work.I’m
helping auntie with laundry, she does a lot, alone. I’mwashing
my mother’s clothes while she deals with the
rest. I don’t want her to get any surprises, I decide to tellher
about my reconciliation with Khanyisa.
She’s not welcoming of the idea. “Her mother has a foul
mouth, I really don’t want them anywhere near us. If it was up
to me, you’d keep away from that girl too.”
“She kind of apologized and said her mother alwaystalks
about me,” I say.
“Saying what about you? She needs to stay out of izindaba
zakwaThabethe and mind her own business.”She’s not hearing
any of it.
Khanyisa’s mother was once like a second mother to me. I
just wish she can come and properly apologize toeveryone.
I’d like to meet Khanyisa’s baby.
“Auntue, do you really think nobody knows who my
father was?” I’ve never asked this question out loud, I just go
with the flow. But it really doesn’t add up becausemy mom
stays indoors, she doesn’t go anywhere unlessthere’s
someone holding her hand.
“Nalenhle! This is exactly why I don’t like Khanyisa andher
mother. Rinse and go hang all the T-shirts on the line.” She
dismisses me.
I guess I will never know.

They all walk me to the taxi stop and wait for transport with
me. I’m sure Zola didn’t wash my work uniform, I’mgoing to
start another pile of laundry when I get to turn house.
Saying goodbye to my family is always hard even though I
see them every month.
I arrive in town and buy a few things for tomorrow’s
lunch and fried chicken for dinner. Zola is not a fan of
cooking, I’m sure she survived on bread the whole
weekend. I always feel good when I’m coming from
home. My uncle strongly believes in ancestors, he makes
little speeches in the alter before you go. Thatjust boosts
my level of confidence and feeling safe.
I know my ancestors are with me. I get off the taxi, it’s abit
dark, but I bravely cross the road and head to my rented
house. Zola has already left, the light is off.

A car swiftly pulls up behind me. I can hear wheels

scratching the surface. I turn my head and see that it’snot a
phara driving. This is a nice car, I just don’t knowwhy it’s
stopping behind me.
“Hello,” the person says, opening the door and climbingout.
I don’t know who this is, it’s a young boy. I can’t clearlysee
his face because our street light is not working butwith the
little moonlight I can see that he’s wearing a leather jacket
and has a chiskop.
“What do you want? I’m going to scream,” I ask.
This is a safe neighborhood, that’s why we came hereand left
cheaper areas. But I still feel uncomfortable because he just
pulled up unexpectedly.
“I’m sorry, I was waiting for you all day, your cousin saidyou’d
back earlier,” he says.
So it’s not someone who’s here to harm me?
“Your name?” I ask.
“Msindisi Hadebe.”
Oh, hell no. Not the Hadebes!
“My brother sent me to give you this.” He’s passing an
envelope to me.
Nzalo? I don’t think this envelope carries any good
news.
But I don’t panic in front of his little brother, I thank himand
walk inside the house.

I throw everything on the floor and lock the door. My hands

are sweating. It’s a handwritten letter, signed byMr Nzalo
Hadebe. He’s inviting me to his father’s life celebration
that’s going to be held in a private lodge.
I saw him, he doesn’t look like a kind person. What
game is he playing?
I take out my phone and quickly call Mr X.
It rings once and drops. Wait, I’m blocked. What the fuckis
wrong with this uncle? He’s left me in a mess, his
brother’s sons now think I was truly in their father’s life,
they’ve hunted down my address to deliver invitation
letters.
Nale what have you gotten yourself into? 2023/10/10,
09:48 - TSI: HOPELESS PLACESCHAPTER 4
All Zola keeps telling me is that she told me so. I had tocall
Mr X using a different number, he said he’s in
Pretoria for business and we’ll talk when he comes back. But
I don’t know if I will be still alive by the time hecomes back.
What if this Nzalo person is a murderer?
I have declined the invitation, I’m just not going to show up.
But I feel like this is just the beginning, he’s not going to back
down until he gets what he wants. I’m going to work, Zola is
coming back from her shift and sleeping. I remind her to
keep the doors locked. Msindisimight pop up with another
delivery from his brother.

I invited drama into my life. I never thought there would be a

time when I prefer being around MaKhoza than being in my
house. I feel safer at work, I know nobody isgoing to come
here. If it was up to me I’d ask for double shifts and
permanently stay here. The clock seems to beworking against
me, when I have to leave it feels like I just got here. I’m
always paranoid about cars pulling up behind me. I swear if I
see Msindisi again I will scream so hard, the community will
come out and put a tyre around his neck.
“Nale!” someone yells my name before I exit the gate.
I look back, it’s someone by the parking lot. I think heworks
for the line next to mine. I don’t pay attention to
the guys I work with because I know how much they get
paid. I ignore him and keep walking.
My eyes are on the left, where taxis come. I just want to get
home. A white quantum appears, I step closer to theroad and
make a signal. It stops but nobody opens the door. I’m the
only person on the road, my colleagues arestill gossiping
inside.
I open the door and climb inside. It’s empty, there’s no other
passenger. I’m a little bit suspicious so I look at thedriver, he
also looks at me.
“Long day?” he asks.
“Ah, you don’t want to know!”
I’m so relieved, I thought it would be Msindisi.
He gets more passengers as we go, I take it upon
myself to open doors and count change.
By the time I get to my stop we are chatting like old
friends. He takes his chance and asks for my number, Igive him
and change the last digit.

I’m going to cook and iron for tomorrow, then rest. Dealing
with MaKhoza is both physically and mentallydraining. I push
the door and take off my boots by thedoor.
“Zola!” I yell.
This girl could be sleeping and forgetting that she’sgoing to
work.
She’s not responding, I walk inside speaking to myself. I
almost die and resurrect when I see a man with long legs
sitting on the couch. His legs are so long, they
almost push our TV stand. I’m seeing him in casual clothes and
he just decided to wear black, like he’s amurderer that I’ve
suspected him to be.
I’m scared but I conceal it as I walk in.
“Zola has already left,” he says, lifting his face.
I’m sober minded, in true character. He looks like his
uncle, Mr X. But he looks less warm and friendly, his
voice doesn’t sound sexy, it’s just gruff.
“And she left you here?” I ask, uncomfortably.
Zola knows that I don’t want anything to do with these
people. Why didn’t she call the police?
“I’m your stepson, she obviously didn’t see any problem.Do
you?” He has grabellar lines between his eyebrows, they
make him look bitter without being bitter.
“I didn’t expect you, I don’t like surprise visitors,” I say.“My
apologies,” he says.
I don’t think he means it; he’s still sitting with his legs
stretched.
“Your TV is off,” he says.
We haven’t paid DSTV, not that it’s any of his business.“This is
not a cinema,” I say.
His grabellar lines shrink deeper. But he holds his peaceand
doesn’t say anything.
I’m not comfortable, I don’t even know where to sit, we
only have one couch.
“I sent you an invitation. Should I wait for you to get
dressed?”
“But the celebration was yesterday,” I’m confused.“Yeah, but
I invited you and that still stands.”
My chest is dry. I’d like a glass of water.
“I’ve been waiting for too long, please hurry.” He dropshis
eyes back to his phone.
I’m not going anywhere with him. I don’t know him, I
don’t know his father, I don’t trust him.
“I’m not going,” I tell him.
“But you came to the funeral, I’m sure coming to celebrate
him with his kids is also the right thing to do. Wind your
neck in and get real!” He gets up and pusheshis phone in his
back pocket.
I’m coming from work, I need to at least freshen up
before going wherever he’s taking me. I close my
bedroom door, he’s on his feet worked up. I have to textZola
and tell her where to look for me if I happen not to come
back home today.

I take a quick bath and slip into my jeans and poloneck. Imake
a small prayer before stepping out. Zola calls me, I silence
the phone because of the cold stare from my so-called
stepson. For now I’m not sure if he really
thinks I was with his father or he knows that I’m lying.
How did I not see his car parked across the road?
I feel a bit kidnapped, if there’s anything like that. Yes, he
didn’t put a gun on my head and he’s not pulling me, I’m
walking to the car on my own. However, I feel kidnapped, he
didn’t really give me a choice but to do ashe instructed.
Zola calls again, I’m inside the car now.
I answer, I want him to know that if anything happens tome
Zola will tell the police.
“Hey mzala,” I answer in a bold voice.
“You scared me. Did he do anything to you?”
“No, I’m going to a little ceremony right now with him, Nzalo
Hadebe. Let my friend, Sergeant Cele, know that Iwill be off
Whatsapp for a few hours,” I say, loud.
“Who is Sergeant Cele?”- Zola.
You’d swear she’s 6 years old. Sergeant Cele is my nonexistent
police friend who arrests and shoots people.
“Tell malume too,” I say.
“Okay, answer your phone ke please.”
I drop the call and put my phone back inside my purse. I
glance at him, he’s driving unbothered. Didn’t he hear me
talking about my close dangerous people?

I’ve watched too many movies, I thought he’d pull up in

some warehouse and tie me up on the chair. But we arein a
house. It's fully furnished but in an old style. I doubt anyone
lives here but it doesn’t look like people die hereeither.
“Where is the celebration?” I ask.
He looks at my face like he’s studying me and doesn’tanswer.
The door opens, Msindisi walks in with a young
gentleman in a suit.
Is he also a guest? I’m not seeing anything here, noteven
a single flower.
“Ngiba!” Nzalo shakes his hand.
I didn’t think he knows how to pull his face together and
look welcoming.
“This is Nale. Do you recognize her?”
The gentleman looks at me, then shakes his head. “Not
from anywhere?” Nzalo.
“No, I don’t know this face. As I told you, the only other
woman I know is that one who worked at Spar. I went
everywhere with your father. You know I know everything
he did and had plans of doing.”
Is this Mr Sbusiso’s right handman? If that’s the casethen my
game is over.
But I can’t just give up without trying.
“Why am I here?” I ask.
“I’m trying to figure out who you are,” he says.
“I’m Nale. Is there a celebration of Sbusiso’s life or not? Don’t
waste my time.” I pretend to be angry, but the truthis I’m shit
scared.
“You didn’t date my father. You are not his type,” hesays.
“I was his type.” Who the fuck is he to tell me that? I washis
father’s type, that’s why I’m here.
“You’re just a regular girl, I know for certain that you didn’t
date him. What would’ve been special about you?”
What is special about his mother?
“I’m beautiful, I’m independent, I know what I want and I
speak my mind.”
“Do you think other people speak their stomachs?
Everyone speaks their mind and there are millions of
other beautiful, independent women.” He clicks his
tongue and turns to the gentleman. They hold a low
conversation. I’m standing at the side seething with anger.
One thing I know for sure is that his father didhave a side-
chick, it just wasn’t me.
He looks at Msindisi and says, “Talk to her, maybe youwill
understand her better as her agemate.”
Then he walks out with the Ngiba man.

Msindisi could be around my age, he’s very handsome

compared to Nzalo. I can breathe in his presence, he’s not
an asshole, or doesn’t look like one.
“Why exactly am I here?” I ask him.
“Ma wants to meet you, she’s a kind woman. If you really
were with my father she will share some of his memories
with you, just to give you closure. But you’re
dramatic and you didn’t respect our family in the funeral,
that’s why we doubt that Hadebe could’ve been involved
with you. As much as he liked women a little bit, you just
don’t look like his type.”
I don’t know why it irks me so much that they keep saying
this. I’m everyone’s type, if their father had reallymet me he
would’ve liked me. There’s nothing not to likeabout me. I can
end this right now and tell him the truth.Mr X will deal with
his mess when he comes back.
But something in me just doesn’t give up easily. I can’t be
casted out because him and Nzalo think I wasn’t theirfather’s
type. They’re disrespectful children.
“Your father wanted to marry me,” I say.
“Quit playing!” he laughs and stands up.
I’m not laughing. I may not have the ring but people do
propose without them.
He composes himself and sits again. “Hadebe didn’t like
polygamy. He’s never promised anyone marriage, not even
the ones who stuck around the longest. He made vows only
to one woman…okay two, but our biological mother is late.”
Wait, so they’re not the current wife’s kids but they’re
bothering me like this!
“I know my truth, you don’t have to believe me. Yourfather
and I loved each other,” I say.
“How did you meet?” he asks.
“I met him in a restaurant, I can give you the name and date.
He was a sushi man, that’s just one of many thingsthat we
had in common. One thing I hated was his taste in music
though, especially Madala Kunene.” I’m just going on the
script that Mr X gave me.
“How long were you together?” he asks.
“Almost a year,” I say.
“Didn’t you know that he was married?”
“I did. Didn’t he know that he was married?”
He sighs and gets up again. He disappears in the passage and
comes back with bottles of water. Justwater. His brother
kidnapped me coming back fromwork.
“I’m hungry,” I say.
“There’s no food here. Did you ever come to this
house?”
“No,” I say.
His look confuses me. Should I have said yes?

The door opens, Nzalo walks in. My comfort ends beforehe

even says anything.
He looks at Msindisi and gets a hopeless shrug. Msindisinow
believes that I was seeing his father.
“You can go bafo,” Nzalo says.
My eyes widen when Msindisi gets up. No, he can’t
leave me with this monster.
“I also want to go,” I say.
He looks at his brother. Nzalo just ignores the exchangeand
sits opposite me. Msindisi walks out. I guess he does what
his big brother says.
“This is not right. I feel kidnapped,” I say.
“Being kidnapped is not a feeling. MaMkhwanazi wantsto
see you. What’s your story?” He’s less aggressive now.
“I have no story,” I say.
“You dated him, okay. You were not the only one. Whydid
you come to the funeral to cause a scene? You wanted our
attention, right?”
“The only attention I would give my life for, is Sbusiso’s,but
unfortunately he’s dead. I don’t want to be here, I haven’t
done anything wrong to your family, let me go.”
“You haven’t done anything?” His lines shrink deeper
between his eyebrows. “Do you know what we had to doto
cover the scandal you brought into his funeral? Do you know
what our mother is going through?”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
Right now I just want to go. R3k is not that much ofmoney
for me to be going through this.
“She wants you to come home and get cleansed. She
shouldn’t be doing that but she’s a good woman, you're
young and have your whole future ahead of you. I hopeyou
know that you’re not on his will, you need to get
over him and stop crying over another woman’shusband so
shamelessly.”
“Okay then,” I agree because I want him to let me go.
I’m wondering what kind of a good heart would make a
woman welcome a side-chick for cleansing after she
messed around with her husband. MaMkhwanazi mustbe
one of a kind, that’s why they’re fighting for her like this.
“I’m hungry. Can we go?” I ask.
He just exhales heavily and stands up.
Finally. I don’t even know why he had to bring me here,they
could’ve interrogated me in my place. Creepy ass,
disrespectful brats.
-
-
-
Zola is calling me. I just got back in the house, I’m tryingto fix
a quick meal, my stomach is growling at me.
“Hey, are you good?” she asks.
“Yeah, he just brought me back.”
“What did he want?” She sounds concerned.
“They just wanted to interrogate me, thinking I’m lying
about being with their father.”
“But you are lying Nale,” she says.
“That’s not the point though. How is work?”
“Nale, stop dragging this. Tell them the truth and we willfind a
way to refund Mr X.”
“I can’t, MaMkhwanazi wants to meet me and get me
cleansed,” i say.
“The wife? This is crazy Nale, don’t tell me you’re going to let
the poor woman slaughter a goat to cleanse you knowing
very well that you were not dating her husband.Don’t play
with someone’s kindness like that, she probably feels sorry
because you’re a young girl.”
“I wasn’t going to continue with this but Nzalo’s behaviorirks
me. Talking about his father couldn’t have been with
someone like me, I’m not his type. He’s a child, what his
father did and who he linked up with is none of his
business.”
“First of all, he’s probably 10 years older than you. He’sa
child to his parents, you’re not his real stepmother.
And it’s his mother he’s trying to protect. You’re burying your
head in a hole just to prove him wrong.” Zola is toorational, I
appreciate it at times because I’m a short- sighted person, I do
things for what they’re going to giveme today. But not today.
“I am his stepmother and he’s going to respect me. I’mgoing
to meet with my sisterwife, MaMkhwanazi.”
I hear her heavy sigh. “I think you are having your issues
again.”
I hate her so much for bringing that into this.
“That’s so low,” I tell her.
“But this is how you behave Nale, you just do crazy
things knowing how concerned everyone is about you. If
baba gets a wind of this he’s going to blame the ancestors
and do more crazy rituals.”
“Okay, you’re done talking.” I drop the call.
This has nothing to do with my inner personal issues.I’m
not thinking about having a dad, I’m not doing this
because I want attention, I’m simply trying to teach Nzalo
a lesson. He's a child, he needs to know his place.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 5
ZOLA

I may only be a few years older than Nale but I’ve always
seen myself as a big sister. I think that’s what thefamily
expects from me as well, I have to play a certain role in her
life. I don’t think I’m a bad example to her, nobody is for that
matter. Nale lives her life as an adventure. It’s always one
thing after another. Last weekshe was crazy about Tom,
crying over their break-up.
Not because she was too hurt by it, she just had nothingelse
to do. As soon as the Hadebes came into the picture she
forgot about her broken heart. They’re her next hobby, I’m
just afraid she might end up in a deep mess that won’t be
easy to come out of.
From the little knowledge that I’ve gathered, the Hadebes
are good people despite the family conflicts they’ve had for
a couple of years. I’m not going to fold
my arms and watch Nale getting in the middle of all that. We
will refund Mr X if he wants his money back. Had he stayed in
contact I’m sure there would’ve been a
different turn of events. Right now Nale is just doing
what Nale always does.
I contacted the Hadebe office and gave the lady who
picked up my cellphone number to give to Nzalo. It’s
been hours, he hasn’t called. Even though he
trespassed yesterday, I didn’t see him as a monster thatNale
paints him to be. He’s just concerned about his mother. I’m
sure he’s going to understand and back off,before Nale digs a
deeper hole of dishonesty.

She’s at work, she said she will come back and get ready to
meet MaMkhwanazi. If this thing escalates fromhere families
may end up getting involved. My father
gets physically sick when Nale do things like this. I’m
going to tell Nzalo the truth.
My phone rings. I take it out thinking it’s Nzalo, but it’sher.
“Hey mzala,” I answer. “Hey,
can I ask for a favor?”
“Sure.” I expect some crazy shit, she’s not up to anygood
these days.
“Please iron my black formal skirt and floral shirt. I have
decided that I’m a born-again Christian, I don’t slaughteror
involve myself in such things. I’m not going to participate in
the cleansing ritual but I will go and meet
the wife,” she says.
“Okay.” I just want to cut the phone call short. It soundslike a
great plan but it’s only going to work today.
I’m not going to let her go there and play with the wife’s
feelings. But I will iron her clothes, I don’t want her to be
suspicious of anything.

I’m about to call the Hadebe office again, a phone callcomes

through.
“Hello,” I answer hoping that it’s the man I’ve beenlooking
for.
“You left a message for me.” It’s him.
“Yes, yes. This is Zola, Nale’s cousin. Can we talk?” I'mrelieved.
“Yes,” he says.
“No, in person. Can you come over before 4pm?”
“What is this about?” he asks.
“It’s about Nale and your father.” “I
will get back to you in a minute.”
Finally, I will put this to bed and have the normal Nale back.
Nzalo calls me again and tells me he will be here
in an hour. I don’t want Nale to find him here, that’s whyI’m
asking him to come earlier.
-
-
-
I’m cleaning and wondering how he initially got our address
because yesterday he just knocked on the doorwhile I was
sleeping. I definitely want this to be over, I don’t want him to
keep trespassing in search of his so- called stepmother.
I’m done cleaning, he’s at the door again. Today he’s in a
formal shirt and black pants. He looks less intimidatingthan
he was yesterday.
“Please come inside and have a seat,” I say.
He walks in. He could’ve made a good basketball player
overseas. We have one couch, which he's too tall for, our
lounge is the size of the toilet. I stand, he takes a seat.
“I’m sorry to disturb your day, I really need to talk toyou,” I
say.
“You said it’s about Nale and my father.” He looks a bitanxious.
“Yeah, it is. They never dated, she was asked by a closefamily
member to do what she did.” Nale will kill me for
this but she has to be stopped. This lie has to end.
“I thought so!” He bursts open the top button of his shirt
and exhales enormously, evidently frustrated.
“Was it my uncle?” he asks.
“Yeah, he met her in a bar and paid her R3k to do it. It was a
confidential deal, that’s why I’m going to ask younot to tell
your uncle that you know. I just want you to leave Nale alone.
Don’t take her to any cleansing ceremony, she wasn’t dating
your father.”
“Why did she agree to meet my mother and get cleansed
then?” He’s confused, anyone would be, Nalecan be too
much.
“Because you’ve given her a new hobby. Nale has a
dysfunctional character, it has a lot to do with the situation
at home. There’s a parent involved, your mother, I don’t
want to see people getting hurt. If you don’t back down,
Nale won’t stop.” I know my cousin very well, unless there’s
a new event in her life that grabs her attention, she will feed
off this drama until allthose involved in it are emotionally
drained.
“I’m not sure how I feel but thanks for bringing this to my
attention.” He opens the second button and rolls up his
sleeves. I can see that he’s managing his temper right now.
“That’s all I wanted to ask, thanks for coming. I don’twant
her to find you here,” I say.
“Thanks.” He takes a heavy sigh and stands up.
I hope this is the last time I see him. I walk him to the
door and we exchange polite goodbyes.
-
-
-
NALENHLE

I’m looking forward to meet MaMkhwanazi. Mr X blockedme

without explaining what him and the wife are fighting for. So
I’m going to find out from the wife herself. I go straight home
from work. I don’t know how I’m going to get to the Hadebe
residence but I think Nzalo will send Msindisi to come and
pick me up. Zola is still here but she’s getting ready for her
shift.
“Did you iron my clothes?” I ask.
“Yeah, they are on your bed,” she says.
“You’re a lifesaver.” I blow her a kiss and rush to myroom.
I need to take a bath quickly and dress up, then take care of
my hair. I’m a born-again Christian, I have to make sure my
hair complements it. I do have a physicalBible that was given
to us by a pastor who was going door to door spreading the
word.
Zola comes to say goodbye, I’m about to get dressed.“I
will keep you updated,” I say.
“I can’t wait.” She rolls her eyes and walks away.
She doesn’t agree with what I’m doing, which I
understand because the Hadebes are now coming to
disturb her peace as well. But this will be over soon, Ijust
need to prove those boys wrong first then we willmove
on to more exciting things.
-
-
-
It’s almost 6pm and I’m still waiting for someone to comeand
pick me up. I’m a little bit bored now to be honest. I
feel like I wasted my time, they might not come. These kids
are stressing me out. I call my aunt while waiting and we chat
for over ten minutes. She’s giving me all thelatest village
updates. It’s clear now that I’ve been stood up. Maybe
MaMkwanazi changed her mind about
meeting me. I should be glad there’s a possibility that
this is over, but I’m not. I have to find something else tokeep
my mind busy with.
I’m not going to let this incredible look go to waste, soI’m
going to Uber to town and have a few drinks then come
back to sleep.

It’s Thursday, people don’t hang out in bars simply because

tomorrow is a working day. I also don’t plan to stay longer
than two hours. Most of the times I drink alone, Zola doesn’t
touch alcohol and I don’t really havefriends that much. But
men always hunt for single ladieswho are minding their own
business.
I’m enjoying my drink and misery, then I see a tattooedman
sitting on my table.
“Why is such a beautiful lady sitting alone?” He smiles,
displaying a perfect set of teeth. Teeth are the first thingI
look at in a man and his just tick the box.
“Maybe she’s just enjoying her own company,” I say.
“I’m sorry to disturb. I’m Melusi, I’m here waiting for a
client-friend of mine. I hope you don’t mind me sharing
your table, I just want to bless my eyes with your beauty.”
I wasn’t here trying to meet someone, but my life is
boring again, I must open up to new people.
“What kind of a client?” I ask.
“I’m a property developer, it’s someone I usually workwith,”
he says.
“Mmm, that’s nice,” I say.
“I know you’re bored, your generation only considers the
entertainment industry as exciting.” He’s not bad at all, I love
that he’s on his chair, not trying any silly advances.
“Not really. My uncle owns a plot of land back in the
village. I’m sure one day I’d be rich and in need of your
services,” I say.
“Oh, you’re from the village? No wonder your energy isso
calm,” he says.
“Yeah, I’m from Mthonjaneni,” I say.
“I’m sorry, your name is?”
I laugh, “I’m Nale Thabethe, I forgot to tell you.”
“Oh, MaThebethe.” He brings his hand across the tablefor a
shake.
We are having a normal conversation, it’s flowing nicely.He’s
not trying to pursue anything with me, I’m actually enjoying
his company. He’s telling me about his tattoos.I’m not into
ink but I love seeing the passion in his eyes as he talks about
them.
I check the time, I have to finish this drink, exchange
contacts and leave.
“Oh, he’s here!” He stands up.
I turn my head. Oh fuck, no. I understand they say it’s asmall
world but it can’t be that small.
His face changes the second he sees me.
“I was about to give up,” says Melusi with a smile.
He’s looking at me, not at Melusi. “I was stuck in traffic alittle
bit. I’m sure your new friend here has convinced you that
she’s a mermaid.”
Melusi chuckles, but he looks confused a bit. “This isNale,
uMaThabethe omuhle,” he says.
“I know her, she’s my stepmother.”
What the hell? I’m 26 years old, I’m no grown ass man’s
stepmother.
Now Melusi is staring at me, shocked.
“I’m not his stepmother,” I say.
“She is. Let me walk her out, I will be back.” He links hisarm
around mine and lifts me off the table.
I haven’t finished the drink I bought.
First, he stood me up, now he’s interrupting myconversation
with my possibly new boyfriend.
I keep calm until we exit the bar.

He’s on his phone, busy with something. “What

do you think you’re doing?” I’m furious.
“It’s late, you need to go home. Your ride is 5 minutesaway.”
Who the hell does he think he is? My dad?
He slides his phone back in his pocket and doesn’t mention
anything about the cleansing he promised me.
“I’m not your child,” I say.
“Yeah, you’re my stepmother and you should be home,”he
says nonchalantly.
I didn’t even get Melusi’s number because of thisblockhead.
“I can tell the driver to drop me off in another bar,” Ithreaten.
Yes, he’s probably saving me because tomorrow I’m waking
up for work. But I just hate it when people try tocontrol me
like they gave birth to me.
“You’re young Nalenhle, you need to get your life
together and stop having fun at other people’s expense,”he
says, gruffly serious.
“You need to leave me alone,” I say.
“I have left you alone.” He’s still standing next to methough.
Yes, I cried in his father’s funeral, so what? He’s chasingme
around playing daddy instead of mourning his
father’s death. He's a pyscho.
“This is your ride,” he points at the car pulling up acrossthe
road.
I didn’t ask him to request a cab for me. I was going todo it
on my own time.
“You better go home and not try anything funny. I will callZola
to check if she finds you home in the morning,” he says.
“You have Zola’s number?”
“Don’t keep him waiting,” he says.
Zola needs to explain what is going on; when did sheand
Nzalo become my mom and dad.
"Goodnight," he says as I walk away.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 6
NALENHLE

I was released from work before 12pm, I’m not feeling okay. I
made it look like I’m catching a flu, when in realityI’m just
experiencing the effects of last night’s
intoxication. I’ve had a nap, I’m feeling better as I wake
up. I fix something to eat and turn the TV on, trying tofind
something interesting to distract my mind with.
My Whatsapp is flooded. I have a ton of messages but one
that catches my attention the most is the one from Mr X. He
unblocked me, he must be back in town. I don’tknow how I
feel about him. I open his message and get a bit confused
and shocked at the same time. He’s saying I betrayed him,
there’s an attached screenshot ofthe messages he received
from Nzalo. I was drunk yesterday but I remember everything
that happened. I didn’t say a word to Nzalo about Mr X, we
didn’t even
talk about his father. Mr X is clearly furious about this.
I try calling his number but he doesn’t pick up. Shortly he
sends me another message, this one plainly says we willmeet
and talk. I don’t feel safe because I don’t know how much
damage this has done. Nzalo’s screengrabbed messages to
him don’t look pleasant
either. I feel like Zola has something to do with this
because it doesn’t make sense that all of a sudden
Nzalo has her cellphone number.

I call her right away. I’m fuming because she’s put mylife in
danger.
“Hey mzala,” she answers.
“Zola did you tell Nzalo about my deal with Mr X?”“I
can explain,” she says.
My stomach is in knots.
“How can you do this to me? Now I have Mr X texting me
angrily and vowing that he’s going to see me. I don’teven
know where he is.”
“What?” She sounds extremely surprised. “I asked Nzalonot
to confront him. I only wanted you and him to stop playing
games,” she says.
“It wasn’t your place, you’ve put my life in danger. What do
you think a man who can disrupt his brother’s funeralcan do
to a stranger?” I’m dead, that man doesn’t care
for anyone, not even his own family.
“I’m so sorry mzala, I thought I was helping. Are youscared?”
she asks.
“Of course I’m scared but what can I do except waiting for
him to do whatever he wants to do?” I have to face the
music, there’s nothing I can do now.
“Let’s send him his money back, I will transfer R1.5k to
you,” she says.
“He didn’t ask for it back but I will prepare myself in casehe
does.” I know she had good intentions but I would’ve
appreciated if she stayed out of it like I asked her to. I’m not
sure I will be able to sleep not knowing what Mr X
thinks.
-
-
-
ZOLA
I have taken another trip to the bathroom. I’m not at ease, I
keep thinking about Nale’s safety. I didn’t knowthat Nzalo is
a real blockhead, Nale has been right all this time. I’m calling
him, I don’t care if he’s in bed withhis girlfriend. This is not
what we agreed on.
“Hello,” he answers.
“This is Zola, Nale’s…”
“Cousin, I know,” he says.
“Your uncle is threatening Nale. I thought you agreed and
understood when I asked you not to confront him about it
because it will put Nale in danger.” I’m fuming but
concealing my anger because I don’t want emotionsto get
over and overshadow my points.
“I’m sorry about that. I was angry, I couldn’t control it,”he
says.
“Is that all Nzalo? You got angry and decided to throw my
cousin under the bus. What if something happens toher? I’m
at work, that man is sending her messages, anything can
happen.”
“Okay, calm down. I will take care of it,” he says. “You
better!” I’ve lost all the respect I had for him.
I thought he uses his head but clearly not, that’s why hisuncle
wants to take over his father’s businesses and
wife. I’m going to keep my phone in the pocket, not in a
locker, there’s a situation in the house that needs me to
keep open communication with Nale. I just pray for her
safety in all of this.
-
-
NALENHLE

I ignore a knock that’s persistent on the door. My chestis

pounding, I’m one click away from calling 10111.
Could Mr X be here? He knows my address. This situation
just escalated and got out of hand within the blink of an
eye. I can’t imagine dying so young, I’d be aclueless
ancestor.
My phone’s screen brightens, it’s on silent. Zola iscalling
me.
I take a few deep breaths and answer under the duvet.
“Why are you whispering?” she asks.
“Someone is at the door trying to break in and kidnap
me,” I say.
“It’s Nzalo, open,” she says.
“What is he doing here?” I’m so annoyed. I almost wetmy
pyjamas for nothing.
“I asked him to make sure you’re okay.” Sometimes Zolathinks
from her ass.
Nzalo is the reason why I’m in this mess and she’scalled him
to rescue me?

I go to the door and open. He’s wearing a long, browncoat and

a beanie.
“What do you want?” I ask.
His brows slightly furrow. “Are you okay?”“Yeah,” I
keep my stare icily.
He looks around and rubs his hands together.
“Zola called me. Can I see the texts my uncle sent you?”
“No!” One thing he can’t be, is being a perpetrator and
rescuer at the same time.
“I’m in this mess because of you. I don’t need you here
close to midnight playing my superhero,” I say.
“No, you’re in this mess because of you. Do you even
know what Xolani is capable of? R3k is a beer change and
you risked your life for it,” he says.
I’m yet to buy a beer and get R3k change.
“Because you made a fuckin’ big deal out of a smallfuneral
cry.” I swear to God, I’m never crying in any
funeral again, this is too much, I didn’t even drop toomuch
tears.
“Okay, you’re innocent, I did this to you. Zola is worriedabout
your safety, do you mind packing some of your
things and coming with me?”
I knew he was coming here to be my superhero.
“Oh, you’re saving me now?” I ask.
“I didn’t want to come here and I wouldn’t have come if your
cousin wasn’t such a good person. If I had a choiceI wouldn’t
be in your space, anywhere in the world.”
Then he should move to another planet. I’m going to pack my
cosmetic bag and changing clothes. I feel unsafe, I haven’t
slept a wink, that’s the only reason I’m taking his offer. Even
if there was no age difference, I just don’t think there would
have been a chance for us toever get along. Whether I cried
in his father’s funeral or not, I don’t like him.

He fills the car with Madala Kunene’s music, I heard thathis

father was a die-hard fan. I told Msindisi that I hate
this music, he’s probably blasting it to annoy me. We enter
the suburbs, I’m not sure where he’s going to hideme. I hope
it’s not his father’s house where MaMkhwanazi is, I’m over
the drama. I just want my normal life back.
I can’t even ask where we are because of the loud music.
He drives through the gate and parks in front ofthe house.
It’s not a big mansion, just a normal ranch house
surrounded by a few trees. It’s a quiet neighborhood, I
hope nobody sees me until I leave because I don’t want
anyone to think I was really a sidechick who’s now
sneaking around with the son.

I carry my bag and follow him inside. It’s furnished in a

relaxed, modern style. There’s breathing space, minimum
esthetics and eye-catching art pieces on thewall. I love it
inside that I’ve even forgotten that this is my refuge, I’m not
here to tour.
“I’d like to show you your bed,” he says.
I move away from the glass book cabinet. Hospitality
skills, zero. I follow him to the bedroom.Oh my, oh my! I
have a king size bed.
This room looks nice. I just need that hideous calendaroff
the wall.
“I don’t want that calendar,” I say.
His grabellar lines shrink. I kinda hate him when he does that,
like I’m just stupid and saying nonsense. This is not 1986,
everyone has an access to digital calendars.
He reaches to the wall and takes it down. “Thank
you.” I sit on the bed, just to feel it.
It’s so comfortable, I’m going to sleep like a baby here.“I’m
going to sleep in the main bedroom,” he says.
He can sleep wherever he wants, I’m so happy that I’ve
forgotten that I’m in hiding, not a holiday.
-
-
-

It’s a good morning, I woke up and went to take a longwarm

shower without Zola screaming for me to hurry. Ihave loved
my stay here, I only wish Nzalo had more generosity. I’ve
been awake for an hour or so, but he’sstill not up to show
me around the kitchen or give me breakfast. I hate being
starved. I don’t know which
bedroom is the main between the two others. I knock on this
first one and push the door open. Nope, this is not it. I go to
the second one and knock.
“Hello!” I yell.
He grunts from the inside. Don’t tell me he was still
sleeping.
He comes and opens the door, looking annoyed.“Good
morning,” I say.
“What do you want? It’s not even 8am.”
“Can I charge my phone? I’m hungry too? I forgot my
comb, can you borrow me one? What time are you
taking me home? I’m sure Zola is back now.” I don’t
mind if Zola is around, she’d call the police if anyone
comes and tries something with me.
“I’m coming,” he says, yawning.
“Okay.” I turn away and return back to the sitting room.
I’m going to find a good comedy to watch, I haven’t
laughed this week. I should’ve asked for the WiFi
password.
He comes out of the bedroom after what feels like three
hours. He’s taken a bath but he still looks the same. He
shouldn’t have guests, he sucks at hosting.
“I have no groceries, we will go to see what we can eat in a
restaurant down the road,” he says.
“Let’s go then.” I’m not even worried about being seen in
public, I’m too hungry to care.
Zola hasn’t called me, I’m sure she’s in the house now.
What if this man murdered me? I don’t know why she
trusts him so much.
-
-
-
It’s not far from the house. It’s half-empty, I’m relieved not
to see any familiar faces. We get a table and our menus. We
don’t enjoy each other’s company, we don’t even fake it. He
sits on his side and looks at his menu, Ido the same on my
side. I’m going to order their ranch breakfast because it
comes with two pork sausages andsteak. I love meat. I hate
coffee and any other hot beverages.
“Do you have any glass of wine?” I ask.
I hate it when I’m ordering something and the waitergives
me a look.
“Yeah, we do have wine but it’s not on our breakfastmenu,”
he says.
“Please give me one glass of red wine. I lost my fatherlast
week.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that sisi.” He looks really
sympathetic.
“Thank you. I’m trying to cope and deal with grief, but it’sjust
hard.” I heave a heavy sigh and close his menu andgive it back
to him. I’m not going to look at Nzalo, he should focus on
what he’s ordering.
“I will see what I can do,” he says and turns to Nzalo.
I take out my phone and reply to Zola on Whatsapp. MrX
hasn’t said anything since his last message. I’m worried
because I don’t know what his plan is.
Our food comes, I get my glass of wine, God bless the
manager and our waiter.
My phone rings, it’s my uncle this time. This is what I needed
to start off my day. We talk over the phone whileI’m eating,
he’s calling me because he wants me to speak to my mother.
She can’t respond to anything, so I just talk and hope that
there’s a smile on her face as shelistens to my voice. Nothing
will ever make me feel like I have a normal life.

I accepted my mother as soon as I was able to understand life

and its unfairness. But nothing will ever
fill the void in my heart. I long to have a parent that I can
communicate my feelings to and have shopping trips
with. I have always kept hoping that my father would show
up. I want justice to be served but I also just wantto know
who he is. I want him to see me, I want to hearhis voice,
even if nothing positive comes out of it.
“Are you okay?” Nzalo asks a few minutes after I got offthe
call.
“Yeah,” I say, finishing the last drop of my drink.“Are
we going to split the bill?” he asks.
Such a boring question.
“No, the bank froze my account,” I say.“Of
course, they froze it.” He’s smiling. Very
strange to see him smiling at me.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 7
XOLANI HADEBE

Anyone would look at him and think, life is good. Maybeit is,
if you’re looking at it from the materialistic point of view. He
has it all. Nice cars, a mansion so expansive guests can use
golf carts to get from one side to the other, a few
entertainment establishments to his name, and designer
suits that he wear often. Most people wishto have that, he’s
achieved more than he dreamed of.
One would say, but he’s 43. Well, he didn’t have anything
until he was at least 34, so all that he’s achieved, he
achieved it in less than 10 years. His life promises to be
perfect until his last name is brought up.Yes, being a
Hadebe. It has its highs and lows, just thatfor him his lows
has been lowest.

As it stands, his nephew has requested a meeting with him.

He knows how his brother’s children are, they’re just like
their father. But he cares less about them, it wasnever about
them. MaMkhwanazi was his target, but it doesn’t look like
his plan worked at all. Nzalo, as
expected, hunted down Nalenhle and squeezed the truth
out of her. He will forever despise MaMkhwanazi and as long
as he lives, she will never have peace in herlife. Their history
goes way back, before Nzalo’s biological mother was brutally
killed. They were togetherfor solid three years, making plans
together. He wasn’t apart of the family, he was hustling on
the streets to makeends-meet. They were going to fight their
way up, he
trusted her with his family secrets and everything. But what
did she do? She used all the information she’d gathered from
him about Sbusiso and found her way to
his bed. She was the first side-chick at the Hadebes, hisplan
was to give her the taste of his own medicine and embarrass
her in front of the whole world. But it didn’t work because
she’s managed to get Sbusiso’s children on her side, lied to
them about only coming to the picture after their mother’s
death whereas she’d been
there while she was still alive. She can attend prayer meetings
and sing Bible verses from page one to whatever page is the
last, but she can never fool him.
The first person he wants to see is Nale, he did tell her that
he’d inform her when he’s back and they’d meet and talk.
But her phone has been off, so he drove here,to her house.
-
-
-
The windows are open, someone is definitely home. He
didn’t think it far, he only wanted Nale to play side-chick
to break the devil’s heart. He parks the car and makeshis
way in. The door is slightly open, he knocks twice and wait
for the footsteps coming.
A young woman wrapped in a towel opens and stares athim.
She’s tied her own T-shirt around her head to be a scarf.
She’s just staring at him.
“Hi, I’m Xolani. Is Nalenhle around?”
She just…stares at him.
Maybe she has a hearing problem or she can’t speak. So he
waves his hand, maybe she uses sign language.“What do
you want from her?”
Oh, she actually speaks.
“I’d like to talk to her,” he says.
“After blocking her and having your nephews coming
here looking for answers?” She’s quite angry.
Understandable but she didn’t specifically block Nale
because he was running away from the situation. He
blocked all calls, he had a project that needed his full
attention in Pretoria.
“What are you here for now? You threatened her, right?”This
young lady is livid. He can’t even remember when was the
last time a woman talked like this to me. Raisedeyebrows,
firm voice and intense stare.
“I didn’t threaten Nale. I said we will meet and talk once I’m
back,” he’s calm. If he raises his voice too this wholestreet is
going to witness a full blown drama.
“So you’re telling me she’s lying? My cousin woke up and
decided that out of 100 million South Africans she’sgoing to
lie about you?”
He cannot be sure of the exact number, he’s not census
accurate, but he knows that the population hasn’t reached
100 million yet.
“I can show you the texts,” he says.
This woman is young, she can’t do anything to him except
shouting but somehow he’s just desperate toprove his
innocence.
“I don’t need to see the texts. At your age you persuaded a
26 year old to participate in dishonesty.
Other old uncles like you are out there trying to build the
nation and you are…” She can’t finish, she’s too angry.
“Leave my cousin alone,” she says.This
is not what Nale said though.
“Nale and I had an agreement,” he says.
“An agreement with a child you could father?” She tucksthe
corner of the towel above her hip and steps closer.
All that’s going through his mind is, is this really happening?
He may have been wrong to some extent but a girl who
hangs out in a pub alone is capable of making her own
decisions. At no point did he force Naleto take the gig, if she
declined he would’ve moved on.
“You should be ashamed of yourself yazi. Please leaveNale
alone, or else! Or else!” She doesn’t continue but
points her finger at him and then turns back inside the
house, slamming the door on his face.
He needs a drink…
-
-
-

NALENHLE

Nzalo left me in the house saying he’s not sure about my

safety yet. I got bored and decided to request a cabto one of
the nearest pubs to have a drink. After this ordeal ends I
need to set new rules for my life. Like lessdrinking during
working days and not taking stupid job offers from strangers.
My pockets are tight today, I’m trying not to waste money
and save, just in case Mr X wants to be refunded. Three girls
walk in, one is celebrating her birthday, she’s wearing a belt
for it. I’m sitting alone, theyask if I don’t mind them sitting
next to me.
“Happy birthday,” I say to the one with blonde short hair.
She smiles, “Thanks girl. I’m Slee and these are my two
bitches.”
Bitches? I can never be referred to like that, I’d kick a
bitch to Limpopo. But each to their own.
“Oh, hey Slee, hey two bitches,” I say.
They laugh and ask my name. It’s my first time havinggirls
crash my alone time. “We” are celebrating our
friend’s birthday, Slee. Now it’s the four of us with a table
filled with drinks. Tomorrow is Monday, I shouldn’t be out
here drinking but I can’t abandon my new friends. I don’t
even know what the plan is going to be, my work uniform is
back in the house, I only came to Nzalo’s house in my
pyjamas with one set of clothes and a bag of cosmetics.
I keep forgetting the two bitches name but one has
suggested that we take this party to her boyfriend’s place
because there’s something going on there as well.Her
boyfriend rents in town, request a cab and take our
remaining drinks and leave.
-
-
-
I thought we were coming to a party but it’s just boyfriend
and brother hanging out with a case of beerand blasting
music through rusty speakers. She
introduces me and we all hang out in the kitchen. This
boyfriend is a hustler, there’s something shady going onin
this apartment. He’s got a lot of computers like he’s running
an internet café.
“Does he pirate music?” I ask Slee.
She quickly covers my mouth before others hear. It’s
probably something way worse than that. I’m not feeling
comfortable, I ask for a charging plug. My battery has
died, I need to charge and request a cab to Nzalo’shouse.
“So who do you live with?” Slee asks, she’s the nicest.
Or maybe I just like her energy more than the other two
even though they’re all cool.
“I’m currently in my enemy’s house for safety reasonsbut
I stay with my cousin,” I say.
“Sounds like you’re living in drama,” she says.
“Not really, I’m just in a sticky situation for a moment.
Otherwise my life is depressing, especially my background.” I
talk too much when I’m drunk.
“Girl, we are all coming from the shambles of the past. I’m
living with my mom, she just got out of a 21 year marriage
and she’s going through it. Dad is also havinghis own issues
after the divorce.”
“At least you have a dad,” I say.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right. Is your dad not around?”
“I don’t even know his last name, any father could be my
father.”
Wait, any father could be my father?
“What if Tom was my father?” I ask.
“Who is Tom?” she asks with her eyebrows snapped.“My
married ex,” I laugh at myself.
There’s no way Tom could be my father, he’s only 32 years
old. It can’t be that he raped my mom at 6 yearsold.
“What happened to your dad?” Slee.
“My mother was raped and I was the product of that. She’s
living with disabilities, so it’s complicated,” I say.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. Do you need a cigarette?” She
doesn’t know what else to offer me because I have
Savanna in my hand.
I don’t smoke but I’m drunk, I’m not in God’s good books
anyway. I take it and take a skuif. It’s mentally relaxing, I pull
more.
-
-
-

ZOLA

I’ve been trying to call Nale all day but her phone is on
voicemail. Nzalo said he left her in the house and he’d call as
soon as he’s with her. I’m still waiting for him to call. Nale
needs to come back, tomorrow is Monday. I have taken care
of Xolani, I told him where to get off. I’mjust not sure he
understood everything I was saying. He looked lost the whole
time. He didn’t look like the man I pictured in my head. He
denied ever threatening Nale, and knowing how my cousin is,
it’s possible that she exaggerated some of the things. I’d be
embarrassed if
that’s the case.
My phone rings. It’s Nzalo, finally!
“Hello,” I answer.
“Umh, Nale is not here,” he says.
I get up on my feet. How can Nale not be there?
“Where is she?” I ask.
“I’m not sure but it looks like she took a bath and usedher
lotions in the bedroom. Her bag is on the bed but she
didn’t leave any note,” he says.
Nzalo took Nale here yesterday because we all felt like it
wasn’t safe after she said she received Mr X’s threatening
messages. His house is safe, supposedly.
How is it now possible that Nale is not even there but
somewhere else and he doesn’t even know?
“Your uncle was here, looking for her. He denied pretty much
everything and left peacefully. So if Nale isn’t withhim, then
it’s you who knows where she is. You’re her only two
enemies, minus the village ones.”
“I will get back to you, I have to check the cameras
across the driveway,” he says.
“Okay,” I’m stressed again.
I don’t know where she could be. I’ve removed Mr X asa
threat in my head. I wouldn’t even know who to suspect if
anything happens to her.
-
-
-
NALENHLE

It’s late but not that late. I thought I’d come back before
5pm but it’s almost 7:30pm. The cab drops me outside the
gate, I still have the keys in my purse. I unlock the goat and
drag myself inside. I’m exhausted, I wish I cango straight to
bed but there’s still an issue of my work uniform. I’m not
even sure that sleeping here again is agood idea.
Fuck whoever it is that’s calling me.
Oh, it’s Zola.
“Mzala,” I answer.
“Jeez, we’ve been worried sick about you. Where were
you?”
“Urgh, don’t even ask. I’m tired, I want to sleep,” I say.
“You have to come back, I sorted Mr X out, he won’tbother
you again.”
“How?” I’m confused.
“He came here and I almost broke a broom on his
head,” she says.
“What?” I don’t believe her.
It takes years for Zola to get to a point where she’d puther
hands on a person.
“I doubt he will ever come near you again,” she says.
I’m going to hear this story well once I get to her. Wechat a
bit, then I drop the call and proceed, walking
through the door.

Nzalo is back, what I don’t understand is why he’s sittingin a

dark house. It’s only by the help of street lights and outside
light that I’m able to see where I’m going. I
switch the living room light on. He’s sitting with his hand
placed on his cheek.
“Hello,” I greet.
Silence….
“Zola saw Mr X and sorted him out, I can go back now.Should I
get a cab?” I ask.
He takes his hand off his cheek and stands up.
Okay, I’m seeing tense jaws and eyes full of rage.“You’ve
been drinking?” he asks.
“And smoking a bit,” I say.
His stare is cold. I have an ID, I legally qualify to drink.
“What if something happened to you? What was I goingto
tell Zola? You’re here under my guard and you couldn’t even
call me to say you’re going out.”
“I don’t have your number. And it doesn’t matter anyway,I’m
here now and your uncle has backed off. Man, I have to get
my bag.” I leave him with his anger issues.
Oh, nope. He’s following me inside the bedroom.
“That’s not how things work, Nalenhle. I will call Zola, you
will sleep here and get sober, then give me a proper
explanation.” He grabs my bag from the bed and walks out
with it.
I did say this man is not well in his head. I throw myselfin
bed, lazy to even take my shoes off, and take a little nap.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 8
NALENHLE

My whole body hurts. I open my eyes, sun rays shine

through the close curtains right onto my face. I sit up, my
head feels so heavy, Lord. Where is my phone? 9:39 am!
No, no, no. I should be at work, not in bed with my jeansand
pumps on. I get up and run out of the bathroom. I’malmost
20 minutes away from work. Zola would’ve woken me up.
I’m in disbelief thinking I was laughing
with Nzalo in a restaurant the other day not knowing thathe’s
a snake. No, not even a snake, that’s an
understatement, he’s a hyena. I feel stabbed in theback.

He’s here, I can hear him laughing somewhere.“Nzalo

kaHadebe!” I yell.
Two voices that I heard become quiet.
I walk in to him and Msindisi having coffee and croissants in
the living room. Yep, they’re eating likenothing wrong
happened.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I’m asking him, Msindisiis
excused because he wasn’t here.
He puts down his cup and then smiles. Jesu, I’m not
ready for jail!
“It’s almost 10am, I didn’t even notify my line managerthat I’m
not going to make it. I need to go and get a
doctor’s note now or else I will receive a warning!” I feellet
down and betrayed.
He’s not even taking accountability, just smiling and
swiping glances at Msindisi like this is a comedy showhe’s
paid him to come and watch.
“You didn’t ask me to wake you up,” he says.
“But you know that it’s Monday, I’m supposed to be at
work.” I’m close to tears, Friday I didn’t work my full hours
and today has been written off as well.
“I didn’t know that it’s Monday today, you told me to get rid
of the calendar.” He’s joking around, this whole thing is
funny to him.
“I depend on a salary. I didn’t have a wealthy dad, heck Idon’t
even have a dad. Zola paid R5k for me to get this job.” I
shouldn’t be revealing this but he’s laughing,
thinking this is a job I applied for and got easily. No, Iscammed
my way through.
“Maybe you should start appreciating it and be more
responsible. I didn’t ask you to drink and sleep until 9am. I
held my Zoom meeting at 8am because I careabout the
people I work with and I know how much I need my job.
That’s why I’m now enjoying coffee.” Helifts the cup up,
cheering, and then takes a sip.
I let tears flood my face. He’s so cruel. Yes, I shouldn’t have
drank last night, I will own up to it. But he should’vewoken
me up when he woke up, it’s called humanity- ubuntu.

I text MaKhoza apologizing for not being at work, I lie and

say I’m sick. Now I have to spend the money I don’thave
getting a doctor’s note, all because of Nzalo. I get in the
shower, still crying. I stand under the water for almost 10
minutes, I cry until my chest turns dry. My eyelids are so
heavy, I look at myself in the mirror and see they’re a bit
swollen.
I call Zola, I need to vent.
“You didn’t go to work,” she says as she answers herphone.
“Yeah, I overslept,” I say.
“But you were coming back last night, what happened?”“I’m
not sure, I remember Nzalo taking my bag away
though, he didn’t want me to leave. Then this morning
he didn’t wake me up, knowing very well that I have togo
to work.”
“How many times have I talked to you about drinking the
night before you go to work? You know that I want you
to have fun and do things that you like, but be
responsible when doing it.”
“So you’re going to blame it on me going out? I would’vebeen
there if he didn’t take my bag away and you would’ve woken
me up.”
“I know, but I’m your cousin, Nzalo is just a random manwho
offered to help you. He’s not responsible for you,” she says.
“Whose side are you on?” I already have a headachefrom
hangover and unnecessary crying, now her.
“I’m on your side, you need to come back today,” shesays.

There’s a knock, I tell her to drop I will call her back in a

minute. It’s Msindisi, thank God, I don’t want to see his
brother at the moment.
“I thought you’d want some tea,” he walks in with a tray.
“Thanks.” I show him where to put it.
This is my first time having anything made in this house.
Nzalo orders almost everything, he has no grocery and no
brain.
“I’d forgotten how small this house is,” he says looking
around the room.
Maybe my eyes have an infection. This house is small?
“I thought Nzalo was joking when he said he was sleeping
here. How did you convince him?” he asks.
“I didn’t convince him of anything, I needed a place tohide
and he brought me here. Obviously he couldn’t leave me
alone, he used the main bedroom,” I say.
“Well, we only come here to clean and fix broken windows.
Our mother died here, that’s why I’m surprisedyou guys chose
this house.” He’s still looking around it, clearly he hasn’t been
here in a long time.
Nzalo could’ve taken me to his own house, not his late
mother’s house where she died. I’ve been nothing but a
headache to him, I didn’t know he was out of his comfort
zone too being here.
“What happened to your mom?” I ask.
He sighs and walks to the window. “She was killed.” “I’m so
sorry to hear that. Was the killer ever found?”
“Yeah but he killed himself before appearing in court, sowe
never got to hear why he shot a woman in the head 16
times.”
16 times? That’s crazy, even more crazier that he choseto die
without giving them closure. I’m really not the onlyperson in
the world who has problems, even though I like to act so.
“Maybe the killer was my dad.” It just slips out of my
mouth.
Maybe I’m still drunk.
“I’m sorry, don’t mind me. So MaMkhwanazj raised you
guys?” I ask.
“She played a huge role, especially to Lwethu becauseshe
was only 8years old when our mother died. She's part of
the reason why dad married as soon as his mourning
period was over.”
“Six months?” I’m shocked.
I don’t care if I left a newborn behind, you don’t move on
within 6 months, I’m coming back with my whole dead squad
to strangle you at night.
“I know, she gets misjudged a lot, but she was a goodwife to
him and she loves us like we are her own,” he says. Clearly
they’re very protective of her; she’s probably using pink
bathsalt.
“Why does your uncle hate her?” I’m just curious. She
sounds like a good woman, overlooking how quick she
married a dead woman’s husband.
“Some people just don’t like peace,” he says with a
shrug and moves away from the window.
My tea…I have to drink before it gets cold. Msindisi is
the total opposite of his brother. He’s charming, easy totalk to
and he’s a good host.
“Where do you guys live?” I ask.
“I’m at home, Lwethu is in university, Nzalo has his ownplace
that’s why I was surprised when he said he’s here,” he says.
He obviously didn’t want me in his house, instead he brought
me to a crime scene. Nzalo dislikes me, that’swhy I’m not at
work, he did this on purpose.
“This is your home, you should come here to rememberyour
mother,” I say.
“I’d love to but I’m not emotionally ready. It’s fine if I just
pop in like this and leave.” He’s walking out of the door.
“Come and have breakfast when you’re ready.”
“I will come,” I smile.
What a gentleman!
I’m repeating the same clothes because I have nothingelse
to wear. I’m having breakfast and leaving, going back to my
caring cousin.
-
-
-
I’m not speaking to him, for obvious reasons. He doesn’tcare,
he’s driving and listening to music. I’m going home, I
canceled the doctor’s note idea, tomorrow I will just show up
with a scarf around my neck and pretend tocough every now
and then.
My work uniform is hanging on the line. Zola is such a
lifesaver. He parks on the side of the road, hopefully thisis the
last time him and I ever breathe in each other’s spaces.
“Thanks for the ride and accommodation,” I say.
“Alright,” he says.
I get out of the car and he drives away. I’m sure he’srelieved as
I am.

I walk in to Zola cooking. Jesus is around the corner!

“Hello,” I say.
“Hello, welcome back.”
I look around and spot a bouquet of flowers. Zola is
single, she hardly gives men a chance.
“Are those my flowers?” I ask. Maybe an ex of mine realized
that they lost a diamond and now they want meback.
“Is your name Nokuzola?”
Ayy, this is unbelievable. I take the note next to it andread. It’s
really her flowers, this is an apology.
“Who is anonymous?” I ask.
“But it’s anonymous, how would I know?”
“So who did you wrong? What is he apologizing for?”
“Honestly I can’t think of a single person, I will just wait until
this person shows up in person.” She’s smiling, both of us
have never received flowers before. I’m jealous, people
have been doing me wrong ever since Iwas born but nobody
has ever sent me flowers to apologize.

She leaves the pot cooking and comes with me to my

room to catch up.
“So how big is Nzalo Hadebe’s house?” she asks.
I roll my eyes, “He took me to his mother’s house, not
his.”
“So MaMkhwanazi was there?” she asks.
“No, his biological mother. She was killed in that house and
they hardly even go there. But it’s a nice house, welllooked
after. Tell me about your encounter with Mr X andforget about
Nzalo.” I don’t want to keep talking about him.
“You should’ve seen his face. I put him in his place, he
couldn’t believe it. I hate criminals that wear expensive
suits,” she says.
I laugh, “Gosh, I missed out.”
“He looks good though. Oh, and his voice!”
I give her a judging look. Mr X is an enemy now, wedon’t
care how he looks.
“He denied threatening you,” she says.
“He did say I have betrayed him and we should meet upand
talk,” I say.
She dramatically throws back her head. “Nale! That’s not a
threat, you made it sound way worse, no wonderhe was
shocked by my outburst.”
“I felt threatened. What was he here for?” I ask.
“I didn’t give him a chance to say. But it didn’t look likehe
was here to fight,” she says.
“He’s dangerous, don’t buy his act. Even Msindisi said he
doesn’t like peace. He’s against their mother, for whatever
reasons, that’s why they don’t get along with him. They love
MaMkhwanazi, they’re protective of her,”I say.
“I’m just glad you’re out of that mess. We don’t need tobe in
the middle of rich people’s feuds,” she says.
That’s what makes me happy too. Now that we’ve finally
closed this chapter I need to call Slee and find out how she got
home and how does the new age feel.
-
-
-

I had a good sleep, I’m still in bed giving myself a few extra
minutes of my bed’s warmth. I hear the door opening, Zola
has woken up. Maybe Mr Anonymous hascome to drop more
flowers. I’m replying to my DMs again. Who knows, my soul
mate could be one messageaway.
Zola knocking on my door so early in the morning is annoying.
I pull the blanket over my head and ignore.
She pushes the door and lets herself inside. I still have awhole
fuckin’ hour.
She grabs the blanket off me. Yazi I’m going to killthis…what
the hell?
“Wake up,” he says.
What is Nzalo doing in my bedroom?
“Why are you here?” I’m shocked and annoyed that he
grabbed the blanket off me. It’s freakin’ cold and I’m just
wearing short pyjamas with no socks.
“I’m here to do my job; waking you up so that you can goto
work,” he says.
“This is not a joke!” I try grabbing my blanket back buthe
steps away.
Take a deep breath, Nale. This is just a test, God istesting your
faith.
“I’m not joking. I’m an asshole for making you miss a day
at work, right? Now I’m committing myself to my
responsibilities. Do you want me to drag you to the
bathroom?”
“No, back off, I will get up on my own.” Fuck this man. Iget out
of the bed, my legs and nipples are freezing.
“Good girl!” he says, following me as I drag myself out. I
don’t think I will ever forgive him for this.
Zola let him in and then went back to bed. She's a snake,
we both agreed that we hate the Hadebes. Why is she still
his friend?
“I was already awake, I can do things on my own,” I tellhim.
“I wouldn’t let you wake up on your own, that’s a violation
of your self-made codified rights.” He stops outside the
bathroom door and flashes a mocking grin.
I don’t see what’s amusing him. I close the door and hear
him walking away, whistling happily. This is Tom's
fault. If I didn't break up with him I wouldn't have been ina
bar that Thursday evening. I wouldn't have met Mr X and
cried in that funeral. Nzalo wouldn't be forcing me toget out
of bed.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 9
ZOLA

Nale is angry that I keep letting Nzalo come to the house

every morning to wake her up. But look at the bright sideof
this, I have the house keys, Nzalo fetches me from work every
morning when I knock off at 5:30 and brings me home so that
I can open and he wakes Nale up. Is it childish? Yes. But not
everyone can tolerate Nale, I thinkhe just wants to get his
apology for whatever Nale said
to him. I also think he likes her, he could’ve easily partedways
with her and forgotten about her. Unless he’s beenwaiting to
activate the drama button in his life because
that’s the only thing bothering Nale is going to give him.
Anyway, I just woke up, I’m preparing for work. Nale willbe
home in an hour, today I didn’t cook, she knows I’m not
friends with the kitchen. I bought bread, that’s what I’m
going to eat and pack to work. Someone knocks on the door.
I’ve been expecting Anonymous to show up and tell me what
he was apologizing for but nobody has
come up. I open the door, it’s a young man in casualclothes.
“Hello, can I help you?” I ask.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks me.
“Ready to go where?” I’m confused.
“I was told to come and take you to work. You’re
Nokuzola, right?”
“Yeah, but who said you must come and pick me up?” I don’t
remember asking anyone for a favor, I always savemoney for
my transport.
“Mr Xolani Hadebe,” he says.
What? I take a step back.
We are not friends, I didn’t even know him before he hired
Nale for a crying gig and that one time I saw him, Iwasn’t
nice to him.
“Are you ready?” the man asks, he’s still standing infront of
my door.
“No, I’m just getting ready. But I don’t need your services, I
didn’t ask Mr Hadebe to send you,” I say.
“Don’t worry, I will wait in the car,” he says.
“No, what if you’ve been sent to kidnap me or kill me?”
I’m not going to jump to Mr X’s favors, he’s possibly using
me to fight against his family. That’s what he doesbest.
“Before I’m his friend, I’m a verified Uber driver, I cansend
you my profile details to share as a safety measure,” he says.
But why? That’s what I don’t understand.
Is it possible that the flowers I got with an apology notewere
from him as well?
“Please give me 20 minutes. You can do another trip and
then come back to me,” I say and take his details.He
thanks me and walks away.
This is so weird.

I get ready in 25 minutes, he’s back parked outside the house

patiently. Nale arrives and asks about the car. I’mnot going
to tell her anything until I find out what Mr X really wants
from me. I wasn’t a nice lady to him, what ishe hoping to
gain from all this?
“I sent my driver’s details on your Whatsapp,” I tell Nale.
“There are taxis, why did you choose Uber?” She’sinquisitive
as always.
“I don’t feel like being in a public transport,” I say.
“What if Mr Anonymous is in the public transport?”I
just laugh. “Then he’s not mine.”
“You want a man with a car? You go, cuz.”
“You’re delaying me, bye!” I grab my bag and head tothe
door.
“Please don’t bring that person tomorrow morning,” she
yells after me.
Unfortunately I’m not going to say no to Nzalo’s free
rides. And he’s doing her a favor because he always finds
her still in bed.

The driver drops me outside my workplace, I was

holding my breath a bit thinking what if he drives
towards a different direction. It does creep me up a bit
that Mr X knows where I work and around what time I
leave the house. But I have to focus on work and take him
off my mind a bit.
We have two breaks, one at 9pm and the next one at 1am.
We do take stolen naps here and there, it can bephysically
exhausting to work night shift. But I love it more, I get to
sleep during the day and wake up to do whatever I want.
Unlike Nale, I can shop during the week and do laundry, I
don’t wait for the weekends.
Whenever we get a break, we rush to our lockers and
take our phones. I’m taking a restroom trip so I grab my
phone to check my Whatsapp messages. I have a few
missed calls from a number I don’t have in my phone. It
could be Nale, maybe she’s in trouble again.
I call the number back as I sit on the toilet. It rings a couple
of times before someone picks up. It’s a man’s voice, so
deep and sexy I should be dropping becauseI’m trying to be
celibate for another year.
“Who is this?” I ask.
“Did you get to work safely, Zola?”
Omg, it’s Xolani! I don’t even know whether to be mad or
grateful.
“I got to work safely, thank you,” I say.
“I’m glad to hear that and to hear you so calmly. How is
Nalenhle? I’ve been wanting to know but I didn’t want topiss
you off and maybe get a hiding.”
I roll my eyes, like really? I’m half the size of his
muscles.
“Nale is good,” I say.
“That’s good to hear.” There’s something about his voice, it’s
very low but full. I’m not even sure I want to beon this phone
call but it’s probably a sin to drop someone who sounds so
good.
“Did you send me flowers as Mr Anonymous?” I ask.“I will
send you flowers,” he says.
“I’m not asking you to. The answer is yes or no.”“Or,”
he says.
So childish but funny.
“I’m at work, I have to go,” I say.
“Thanks for calling me back, I will give you a call
tomorrow morning. I think I owe you an apology, if youwill
listen to me,” he says.
“Okay,” I agree but I’m confused.
If he owes anyone an apology it’s his brother’s wife, notme.
I will wait for the morning and hear him out.
-
-
-As promised, he gives me a call right as I knock off work.
Nzalo is outside waiting for me because he needsaccess to
the house. It feels like I’m betraying him and Nale by
speaking to Xolani. I told Nale that we are leaving the
Hadebes alone, but here I am.
“I’m in the office until 1pm. What time do you wake up?”he
asks.
“Before 1pm, it’s hard having a good sleep during theday,” I
say.
“Would you kill me if I sent someone to pick you up and take
you out for lunch? Just to iron things out, I feel like you
misunderstood me and got the wrong impression of who I
am.”
“Why do you care? What I think of you will not change
your bank balance or give you nightmares,” I say.
“I don’t know but I care,” he says.
“I don’t feel like you owe me an apology, you didn’t do
anything to me.”
“I’m apologizing for asking your sister to participate in
dishonesty,” he says.
“Why don’t you apologize to her?” I ask.
“Because you told me I should leave her alone, I’m not
trying to find out what’s going to happen after
“otherwise”, “ he says.
I laugh. He really took my threats seriously.“Let’s
talk after 1pm, my ride is here,” I say.
“Okay, have a good sleep, “ he says and drops the call.
I open the door and get inside. Nzalo is a weird person, he’s
been doing this for three days without a break. I’m sure if
Nale had a way she would’ve killed him a long
time ago.
“Another day to fulfill your duties?” I ask.
He smiles, “Yes.”
He enjoys doing this to her.
“You’re putting me in trouble, she thinks I’m a traitor.”
“I’m sorry we are stressing you so much, but at least
someone is putting a smile on your face.” He doesn’t know
that I was smiling to his uncle, if he did he wouldn’tbe giving
me these free rides.
“I was just talking to a friend. Speaking of talking to people,
have you sorted things out with your uncle?” I’mdoing my
little investigation, I want to hear how bad theirfeud is.
“We did but Xolani doesn’t care. He didn’t deny trying toruin
the funeral. It wasn’t his first time doing something
to put our name at risk. So we let him be, we have better
things to do,” he says.
“But how does your mother feel about this hatred
towards her?” I ask.
“She knows her brother-in-law, they don’t get along and she’s
just trying to keep her distance away from him,” hesays.
“Ah, I feel sorry for her.” I’m not sure what Mr X’s
intentions are, it sounds like he’s someone who hate
women. Our lunch might and night not happen, I’m still
going to think about it.
-
-
-
NALENHLE

I woke up at 5am and started preparing myself for work.By

the time Zola arrives with her new, fake friend I’m already on
the kitchen chair eating porridge. I can’t waitto see the look
on his face when he realizes that he missed today.
I hear their voices and go to the door to open.
“Morning, morning!” I ecstatically greet.
Zola can’t help it, she laughs.
His face is exactly what I’ve been picturing.
Disappointment!
I’m so proud of myself. You can’t play the player, thatcan
never happen.
“Nice shirt, Hadebe,” I give him the same smirk he always
gives me when he invades my space. “Can I geta free ride
too? I will finish my porridge in a minute.”
“If you’re not out in 5 minutes I will leave,” he says.
It doesn’t look like Nzalo kaHadebe is in a good moodthis
morning.
I rush back to my porridge and eat quickly.
“You’re so dramatic. Do you know that you will get towork
probably an hour early?” Zola asks.
“I’d rather go and suffer the cold there than to miss outon
torturing him with my presence,” I say.
“You guys have strange ways of disliking each other.”She’s
laughing.
I grab my bag and rush out. This is going to be a verygood day
for me.
-
-
-
I fasten my seatbelt and take out my face powder. I havea
broken piece of a mirror in my bag, I use it as I enhance my
beautiful face.
“Do you think I need eyeshadows?” I ask.
“I think you need a whole pair eyes,” he says.“I
have good eyes.” I’m offended, I won’t lie.
People always compliment my eyes. Who dies he think he
is?
His face lights up with a smile. Oh, so he was pissingme
off on purpose.
“You’re too early, you know that, right?” he asks.
“No, I don’t. I can’t see time with my ugly eyes,” I say.
“Oh well, my beautiful eyes can. It’s not even 6:30 amand
you only start working at 7:30am. We should get some
coffee to pass time,” he says.
“I don’t like coffee and I definitely don’t like having it with
you.”
“That’s fine, as long as you don’t get to work too earlylike a
fool.”
I roll my eyes, he drives us to a coffee shop two streets away
from my workplace. I hope he still remembers thatI have
problems with my bank, whatever I eat I cannot pay for.
He orders coffee and two bagels. Bagels are just doughnuts
that grew up with parents. I’m having coffeewith a French
toast. I don’t usually eat at this time, I’m only doing it to pass
time.
“Can I have two scones to go?” I ask the waiter, the bigger my
lunch box is, the less hungry I will be at work.
Nzalo’s father probably left him millions, he won’t mind
paying.
“Are you back in your house now that I’m gone?” I askhim.
“Yeah,” he says.
“Why didn’t you take me to your house?”
“Because my mom goes there unannounced and you’reher
husband’s sidechick.”
Oh yeah, that…it makes sense. I thought he wanted his
biological mother’s ghost to haunt me, that’s how much I
think he dislikes me.
“I owe you an apology,” I say. God knows how much Ihate
apologizing to people, I just want him to stop coming to the
house and disturbing my daily routine.
“Really?” He stops everything to look at me.
“Yes. I’m sorry I shouted at you and put the blame on you
for not waking up for work on time. I hope now thatyou’ve
got it you will stop coming to the house,” I say.
“So everything happens on your terms in life?” He’sgotten
his apology but still that’s not enough.
“No, but it’s only fair that you stop bothering me,” I say.“You
apologized on your own time and I’m going to
forgive you on my own time. The world doesn’t revolvearound
you, Nalenhle,” he says.
“I never said it does,” I hate that he’s getting on mynerves
again.
“But that’s how you act. I haven’t known you for a long
time but I already know that you’re one of those people,”he
says.
“Then leave me alone. You have a choice not to be inthe
world that revolves around me.” He’s here on his
own terms, he wakes up every morning and decides to
come and see my face. I don’t understand what his
problem is.
Now he can’t say shit, can he? “Leave
me alone, Nzalo,” I say, firmly.
“You don’t like me but you’re sitting with me, havingcoffee,”
he says.
I put down the cup. I don’t even like coffee, this is not abig
deal.
He chuckles, “You’re a nutcase.”“I
don’t think you’re sane either.”
“I am, at least most of the times. Are you ordering anything
more? We should go before we make a scene.”
He’s right, this might escalate.
I pick the menu and run my eyes over it. “No, they don’thave
brain on the menu, I would’ve ordered it for you.”
“And how would you have paid for it?” He laughs.
“I’m not broke,” I say.
“I’m sure you are not.”
I hate it when he tries to be funny. At least I’m rich atheart.
He pays, I take my scones and we leave without
breaking the tables.
-
-
-
The tension is high as we reach my workplace. Maybe he’s
right a little bit, I do make everyone’s world revolvesaround
me.
“Have a good day,” I say.
This is the first time I’m wishing him anything good inlife.
“Thanks,” he says.
I open the door and climb out.
“Nalenhle…”
I look at him. We are both unnecessarily mean towardseach
other, I don’t know why, something just disconnects
between our spirits.
“Do you mind coming over Saturday?” he asks.“To
your mother’s house?” I ask.
“Yeah, it’s her birthday and I want to spend the weekend
there. I’m just not sure I can do it alone,” he says.
“No problem, I will come,” I say.
He smiles, I close the door and walk away. I should’vesaid I
will think about it. I think about things before committing
myself to them. We are like Tom and Jerry,the weekend
might end with one of us admitted in a mental health
facility.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 10
ZOLA

I decided to accept Xolani’s lunch invite. This time I’m

fetched by a polite grey-hair man in the same luxury carthat
dropped Nale off the other day. I’m a simple girl
from the village, sometimes I wear jean skirts and
takkies. Nale always condemns my style. I would’ve put
more efforts if I knew I would be having a good looking
driver You and pulling up in front of Ski Boat Vlub.
I’m walked inside one of the seafood restaurants by the
driver, my eyes quickly spot the man sitting alone on the
table and my chest beats drums. It’s quiet here, his tablehas
a champagne bucket and flowers. I don’t know when the
driver leaves, I’m just overwhelmed. He standsup, pulls the
chair for me and gives me the flowers. He’slooking dapper in
a shawl lapel suit.

I don’t like being the center of attention, this is too top-tier

for me and definitely grabbing our surrounding’s interest.
I’m more nervous than I let out.
“Hello Mr Hadebe,” I greet once seated. It feels I’m sitting
across someone of high class either begging for ajob or
ordered by him for a hook up.
“Nokuzola, I’m delighted to be joined by you. Did you
sleep well?”
I nod, “Yeah…why is this section empty?”
I’m seeing few other customers on the other side of the
restaurant, there’s no one around us.
“Don’t you like some privacy?” he asks.
No, I eat on fully packed Honchos tables. But I just smile
politely.
He asks for our starters and then looks back at me,
smiling.
“You look beautiful, thanks for honoring my invite.” He’s
thanking me for the second time now.
I nod, still feeling out of place and overwhelmed.
“As I said, I want you to dislike me for who I truly am, not
what the media writes about me,” he says.
“But Mr X, nothing was ever about the media. I dislike you
for what you made my cousin do.” I may have seena few
distasteful things about his character but it was none of my
business.
“You still haven’t forgiven me?” He smirks.
“You haven’t explained yourself to me. Why ruin yourbrother’s
funeral?” I ask.
He’s interrupted by the waitress serving our starters;shrimp
dip with cream cheese. This wouldn’t be a restaurant I pick
up, I don’t eat seafood unless it’s forfree.
“Mr X?” I raise my eyebrow, he’s trying to ignore me.“It’s
a long story,” he says.
“I have more than two hours.”
“I would’ve shared if I knew you better. I’ve trusted
women with my life before and it ended with betrayal
and hatred,” he says.
“Okay, share that one, the one where you were betrayedby a
woman,” I say. He can’t bring me here if he’s not going to try
and change my mind about him. Maybe I willunderstand
where he was coming from.
“It was 9 years ago, it was someone I was with in my hustling
years who ended up with my enemy, if I may putit that way,”
he says.
“9 years ago? You should move on,” I say.
“I believe in revenge, Zola. I don’t like being stabbed inthe
back.” His face changes when he says this. I don’t know if
he’s been faking the gentle, soft spoken character or it’s
truly who he is.
“So you haven’t forgiven Nale?” I ask.
He chuckles, “I’m not petty. I never intended to punish her
for telling Nzalo that I wanted her to ruin the funeral.I just
wanted to meet up and see how she had been.”
“I told Nzalo, not her,” I say.
“Oh, you did?” He’s not that much surprised. “Yeah,
Nzalo wasn’t backing off and Nale was just
running with the lie. We have our own issues at home,Nale
wasn’t born under the best conditions and that affects the
way she behaves. I wasn’t going to watch you and your
nephew put her in the middle of your wars.”
He nods, “I understand and I’m sorry. But I’m not fightingwith
my nephew, he also knows that. He’s getting involved
because of MaMkhwanazi,” he says.
I can just feel the bitterness after he mentions her name.
“Was MaMkhwanazi the woman who betrayed you?” Iask.
“Let’s have our main, shall we?” He stages a smile andcalls the
waitress.
I’m now invested, I want to know the root of the Hadebe
feud and he’s not giving me anything. MaMkhwanazi is agood
woman, that’s what she’s portrayed as, why would she gets
so much hate from her brother-in-law?
“Do you want your brother’s estate?” I ask.
“No,” he says.
“His wife?” I ask.
He laughs, “Not even if she was the last woman on
earth. I want someone that I might never get.”
That’s sad, why is he laughing?
“Why can’t you get her? You have nice cars, money andyou’re
well-known,” I ask.
“You forgot to mention soon to be turning grey, unfamiliar
with latest social networks, gender role
believer and sometimes emotional unstable,” he says.
He makes it sound like a lot. Ladies would want himeven if
he had one eye.
“Don’t give up so easily,” I say.
“Well, I’m looking at her,” he says.I
laugh out loud. Me?
No, he’s mistaken.
“You don’t know me, Mr X,” I say.
“But I know what I want, that’s what important.”
He’s already turned 40 and I’m not even 30 years old. I said
we are leaving the Hadebes alone, I didn’t even tellNale about
this lunch. I raise my eyes and find his
intensely on me. Maybe I’m a bit dumb, I didn’t think he’s
asking me to join him for lunch because he wantsme to be
one of his girls.
“I don’t do well in relationships, especially with someonelike
you. But thank you for being interested,” I say, hoping my
response will put an end to this subject.
“I didn’t say I want the best version of you in a relationship.
I’m interested in getting to know you betterand proving
myself to you, I’m not what you think I am. Under this suit
I’m just a man who wants a woman to share life with and a
family of my own,” he says.
I need a sip of water because, wow. He’s from “that”
generation, straight to the point and unapologetic about
seeing a woman as a tool to start a woman with. He’s not
talking about what he likes me for, just that he wantsto share
his life with a woman and have a family.
“I’m sorry if this overwhelms you, but you really stole my
heart on first sight. You’re all I’ve been thinking about ever
since you almost gave me a hiding publicly,” he smiles.
I put down the glass and ask, “How do I know this is notone
of your games?”
“By giving me a chance to love you,” he says.“I
don’t know Mr X, I really don’t,” I say.
“While you try to make up your mind, I will love both of us
and I would like to take you out on a first date on anyday
that you pick this week,” he says.

I’m nervous again, but for different reasons now. Doeshe

truly like me?
If he does, how will I betray Nale and Nzalo and go out on a
date with him? He’s good-looking, mature and humble.
There’s nothing not to like about him, except hisfamily issues.
“So tell me about yourself. What do I have to know
about you, Miss N?”
I raise my eyebrows, “Miss N? Just call me Nokuzola orZola.”
“I will, as soon as you start calling me Xolani, not Mr X,”he
says.
I didn’t even know he doesn’t like it, that’s how Nale andI
call him.
“I’m the eldest, I have a brother. I was born out of wedlock
but now my parents are married. I come from asmall village,
small family of 6 and I’m 29 years old,” I say.
“You will be a family of 7 soon, your father will haveanother
son...in law.”
I can’t help it, I laugh. My father will definitely ask questions
and have a problem with having a 43 year oldson, he’s also
in his 40s, late 40s.
-
-
-

I can say it was a good day, I was overwhelmed at firstbut I

loved the experience. I’m now back in the house,dressed up
for work. I feel good, you know those dayswhere you keep
smiling to yourself but can’t pinpoint one thing that made
you happy….that’s me today.
Nale gets home, I’m about to leave. She looks
exhausted.
“Whose flowers are these?” she asks.
“Mine,” I say.
“From Mr Anonymous again?”
Well, his name is Xolani. “Yes,” I
say.
“Why do I feel like you’re going to get married first? Thisman
wants to put a ring on it and start making babies,” she says,
joking.
But it just triggers what Xolani said. I do want a matureman
who knows what he wants but I still want to enjoy
my life, alone as a young woman. Xolani said he believes in
gender roles and I assume his expectationsfrom a woman
are traditional.
“I re-activated my Bamboo account,” she says.
“But the last man you got from that website asked youfor
money.” I just can’t believe this right now.
“I’m only replying to white men this time,” she says.
“You don’t want someone who will be able to say“sthandwa
senhliziyo yami”?”
“He can say; love of my heart,” she says.
“You’re silly.” I’m laughing.
“Before I forget, I won’t be here on Saturday.”
“Where are you going?” My big sister instincts have
kicked in.
“Nzalo is celebrating his mother birthday in her house sohe
wants me to be there because he only feels safer when I’m
around,” she says.
“Why?” I don’t understand.
Nale would run first if someone attacks them or his
mother’s ghost appears.
“I don’t know, I don’t care, I just can’t wait to takepictures in
their backyard.” That’s Nale for you.
But I’m glad they’re getting along. I just don’t know
where it’s leading.
-
-
-

SKHUNDLA THABETHE

He would die for his sister. He’s already killed certain parts of
him for her. His conscience and good heart. Yes,he once had a
good heart. Once upon a time, Skhundla was a forgiving man
who gave people second chances and sometimes overlooked
what people were saying about his family, just to keep peace.
But not now, he easily cuts people off and calls out bullshit.
His wife has been talking about making peace with the
Thwalas. Mam’ Thwala was one of the first people to make
Nalenhle feel different about herself and her mother. His
sister, Bazamile, has excellent hearing
abilities. His back and forth with his wife about letting the
Thwalas back in their lives have started to affect her.
She hasn’t been sleeping well these days. Sometimesshe
walks in her sleep and end up hurting herself.
That’s what has brought him to Khanyile today. He wants
izinyamazane to burn in his sister’s bedroom sothat she
can at least sleep peacefully at night. He suspects bad
spirits as well.

Instead of Khanyile just wrapping the medicine that he

needs, he’s praying for a glass of water and summoninghigh
powers to the room.
“Is there a problem, Khanyile?” he asks as soon as the
prayer ends.
Khanyile has been a big part of his life. He’s helped himand his
family through so much.
“There’s a dark cloud that is about to destroy the relationship
between the kids in the family,” – Khanyile.
“How so?” He’s confused.
“I’m seeing an ugly division between the female kids in
the family. They’re going to hate each other, there’s a bigwar
coming and it might end their unity forever,” –
Khanyile.
“We have to prevent that.” He’s worked so hard for hisfamily
to be united the way it is.
He raised both his children and niece in unity. They loveand
look out for each other, that cannot be destroyed now.
“We can’t, Thabethe. But there can be a way.”
“Then let’s use that way,” he’s running out of patience.“Bring
your father’s spirit back home,”- Khanyile.
He folds his handkerchief and puts his shoes back on.
Khanyile sighs heavily, “At some point you have to do it,
Thabethe. He was your father, just bring his spirit back home
and cleanse the alter.”
“I don’t call him my father anymore. Do you know the lies
I’ve had to tell my niece whenever she asks about her
identity? Do you know the kind of shame he left mein?”
That’s the last thing he will ever do. He will never
slaughter a chicken for that man. His mother died knowing
that very well. His body was buried in the sugarcane field 25
years ago, that’s where his bones willforever be. He’s not
coming anywhere close to his kids and wife, not anywhere
close to his sister and definitely not anywhere close to his
niece…also his sister.
"Then a division is coming Thabethe," Khanyile says.
If Nokuzola and Nalenhle still value and appreciate being the
Thabethes, they will not let anyone or anythingget between
the two of them.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 11

MaMkhwanazi walks in to Msindisi and Nzalo sitting

together in the lounge, watching a sport channel on TV.She
wasn’t blessed with children of her own but her husband’s
first wife left children for her. She couldn’t have asked for
better stepchildren. They lift their headsand smile when
their eyes meet hers. Behind those smiles she knows that
there’s buried pain. It’s their mother’s birthday, that’s why
Nzalo is here on a
Saturday morning to be with his brother. They’veprobably
video-called their sister as well.
“I was about to come and wake you up,” Msindisi says. He’s
the one that’s left at home, Nzalo moved out a longtime ago,
Lwethu is in Mpumalanga studying.
“I drank pills late last night and overslept. Have youeaten
anything?” she asks, looking at both of them
“I only had coffee,” Nzalo says.
“I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday,” – Msindisi.
There’s an empty plate with bread crumbs next to him, but
he claims he hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday.
“I will make something quickly. What do you have planned
for today?” They usually spend time together asa family, just
to forget about the significance of this day. She would love to
cook for them and participate in whatever they want to do.
“I’m going to Ma’s house, I just want to be there,” Nzalosays.
She’s surprised. That house haunts them, why would hewant
to be there? They haven’t seen it as a home in almost a
decade since their mother was murdered there.
“Are you sure?” she asks.
“Yes ncane, don’t worry I will be okay.”“Wena
Msindisi?” She looks at him.
“I’m going to watch TV and eat whatever you bake.”“I’m
not baking today,” she says.
“Hawu ncane!” Msindisi is a foodie, only for her home-
cooked meals and cakes.
He might be able to twist her arm as the day goes up.
Their relationship is a bit different, he’s more close to her
than others. He grew up a middle child, often ignored.
Now Nzalo is living on his own, Lwethu is in
university, he’s taking full advantage of finally being theonly
child.
“I talked to Xolani yesterday, he called me saying he’s
checking how we are doing since our mother’s birthday
anniversary is coming up,” Nzalo says.
She was about to leave, she stands with her hands on her
hips. Hasn’t Xolani done enough already. He doesn’tcare
about this family, why can’t he just leave her children alone?
“I thought he was still in Pretoria,” she says.
“No, he came back and we talked about the drama he
tried to cause at the funeral. He still hates you,” Nzalo
says.
She sighs, “He can hate me all he wants, I don’t have his
time.”
“I think you should sit down with him and try resolving
your issues. He said today you’re going to pretend to care
about his brother’s wife and called you names I’mscared to
even repeat.”
“I’m not going to give him the attention he wants. You need
to focus on the business as well, your brother is here to help
you, nobody needs him. I’m going to makebreakfast.” She
walks away, like she doesn’t care. But she’s just concealing
her true feelings in front of them. Xolani is a man from hell.
It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, it’s been
almost a decade and he’s still angry. Now the direction he’s
trying to take is
dangerous- talking about their mother and trying to fill
Nzalo’s head with silly ideas.

She’s already held a conversation but she will try to make

this work because she hadn’t brushed. Her children will
never listen to anyone who says somethingbad about her.
She disappears in her bedroom and
takes her dry toothbrush to rub it on her tongue. Then she
returns back in the kitchen and fills the kettle with water,
she rinses the dirt of her tongue inside and putsthe kettle
to boil. She hides the toothbrush and gathersother
ingredients for breakfast.

Msindisi walks in, invited by the smell of eggs.“Do

you need help?” he asks.
“I’m almost done, don’t worry.”
Msibi grabs a fork and stands next to her. She rolls hereyes
and permits her to take one sausage.
“What made your brother decide to go to your mother’s
house to celebrate her birthday this year?” she asks, this
worries her a bit. Xolani is talking about their mother again,
now Nzalo is refreshing memories, next they will be trying to
find closure.
“I think he just wants to do something different,” Msindisi
says.
“I’m just confused as to what you and I must do. Do wego
or stay behind?”
“I’m not going there,” Msindisi quickly shuts down the
possibility. All he remembers about that house is seeingthe
police tap, flashing lights of the ambulance and holes in the
windows. He’d rather protect the memoriesin his head.
“I just think your uncle is getting in his head,” she says.
Msindisi laughs, “Ncane relax. Nobody is going to disrespect
you just because dad is not around anymore.As long as Xolani
can’t respect you, he’s not related to us.”
She smiles, this makes her happy. Xolani might use thistime,
when they’re still most vulnerable, to turn them against her.
But it looks like she’s still very much safe.
“Before the funeral he was very helpful, especially in the
businesses,” Msindisi shakes his head. He’s never had a good
relationship with his uncle. Anyone who comes
for his mother gets canceled with immediate effect.

He’s carrying the teapot, MaMkhwanazi comes with a tray of

breakfast. They’re all going to eat in front of theTV. Nzalo is a
coffee-addict, MaMkhwanazi watches
through the corner of her eye as he pours boiled water in a
cup. Xolani must keep trying, he’s pushing himself further
away from his nephews, because they will neverchoose or
listen to him over her.
-
-
-
NALENHLE

I’ve been up since 6am waiting for Nzalo to send me a cab. I

turned down Zola’s warmed leftovers thinking I’m going to
eat out in a fancy restaurant. I’m not his mother but this is
the worse birthday ever. It’s 9am, I’ve almost given up,
thinking maybe he changed his mind. Becauselet’s face it, I’m
not that good of a company, anything can happen with me
around him.
I drag myself to the kitchen, Zola is washing the pots.
These days she’s always willing to do things around the
house. Mr Anonymous and his flowers really put her in a
good mood.
She looks at me as I take out the plate I turned downtwo
hours ago, then she laughs.
“He’s such a jerk,” I say.
“Maybe he meant in the afternoon, not you waking up by
dawn and wearing lipstick thinking you will have prawns for
breakfast,” she says.
“That’s not funny.” I’m not taking this lightly. The last time
someone stood me up was when I was inside my mother’s
womb- my dad.
Zola’s phone rings, she looks up her eyes flickering with
mockery.
She answers and talks to the person for a minute, thenshe
looks at me. “He’s outside, you guys should just exchange
numbers.”
“That was Nzalo?” I’m both relieved and angry. Whattime is
this?
“Yep,” Zola nods.
I abandon the ugly plate and run back to my room to grab
my bag. I almost filled my stomach with cabbage.I’m still
mad though. I say goodbye to Zola in passing, she said she
will spend her day outdoors with a friend too.

He gets out and opens the door for me. Strange!

I frown, getting inside and putting my bag on my lap. Healso
enters and greets.
“You should’ve told me the time,” I say.
“Oh sorry, I started at home for breakfast,” he says.
He’s eaten breakfast. I didn’t eat because I thought we’deat
together and he went to eat home.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m good.” I’m not saying the truth, I’m not okay, I feel
betrayed.
He’s driving, there’s a bit of tension coming from my side.
But I need to let it go because today is not about me or him,
it’s his late mother’s birthday. I’m still not surewhat we are
going to do in her house.
We arrive, I climb out of the car with my bag and ask forthe
house keys. I know my way around now, I’m just hoping he
stocked some groceries so that I can make something to eat. I
didn’t come here to suffer.
I go straight to “my room” and change into my short empire
waist dress. It’s a bit old but it has no holes on itand perfect
for being indoors. I’m not going to just sit in
the house in my smart clothes. I put my sandals back onand
walk out.
He looks at me and frowns.
“You changed?” he asks.
“I did, I will change back to my other outfit if we go
somewhere. I hope there’s grocery here,” I say walking away,
leaving him with his mouth dropped. I’m not sure what shocks
him. My dress or that I changed too quick?
I check his fridge, there’s no grocery but Wimpy
takeouts. Even better, I can just warm up what needs tobe
warmed and go catch up on my favorite TV shows while he
figures out what he wants to do for the rest of
the day.
-
-
-

I took a nap and now I’m waking up to loud conversations

coming from the living room. Is this Nzalo’s party or his late
mother’s? I wanted to cook his mother’s favourite meal out
of the goodness of my heartand he promised to get
groceries.
I walk in, he’s having drinks with two guys. It doesn’t look
like he told them that he’s with someone here. He
either went and bought drinks or these friends came with
them.
“Hello,”, I greet them but my eyes on him.
I’m seeing his coffee and his friend’s beers. Where is his
mother’s birthday cake?
“Hadebe didn’t warn us,” one says, smiling and glancing
between the two of us hoping someone will explain.
“I’m his maid,” I say.
Nzalo gives a snort but doesn’t say anything.
I bow my knees a little and ask, “Did you get groceries,Mr
Hadebe?”
“Yes,” he says.
I thank him and walk away. I have to cook and go cleanthe
balcony while his friends keep him company.
This maid thing can work. What if I’m really his maid?

He said his mother liked spinach and pap, that’s what I have
cooked. But I have added meat, I didn’t move out of the
village to come and eat spinach in the suburbs. I don’t care if
he bought his from Pick’ nPay and I grew upsharing mine with
goats in the garden.
It’s just after midday, his friends are leaving. I offer them
lunch but they’re already tipsy, they say they’re craving
shisanyama.

Nzalo comes back after walking them out.

“It smells so good in here,” he says joining me in the
kitchen..
“That’s because I’m a good cook. I thought you’d makethis
day more about your mother than friends. Why didn’t your
stepmother and Msindisi come?”
“They had other plans,” he says.
I don’t believe that, I think this house is haunted andhe’s
using me.
“And your uncle. Have you guys spoken?” I ask. “Yes, but
that one just loves complicating things and
upsetting MaMkhwanazi, which I can’t tolerate,” he says.
He doesn’t like his uncle, I should drop the subject.
“I will come with the food. Do you want coffee?” I ask.“Thank
you,” he stands still, staring at me with his
furrowed lines. “You’re my not my maid, you know thatright?
“I am,” I say.
“No. I didn’t hire you,” he says.
“I’m self-employed. Go and sit down, I will serve you.”
“Hopefully you will self-pay yourself for your services.
I’m going to wait with my throat open.” He walks away. I
hope my food taste good as it smells, my catering service
isn’t cheap at all.

I dish for both of us and join him on the couch.

I know that he’s here because he wants to remember his
mother but he hasn’t done that in years. I’ve given him hours
to figure out how he wants to celebrate and he’s
failed to give me an answer. Maybe if he tells me a littlebit
about her I will be able to figure something out.
“How was your mother like?” I ask.
“She was just like you,” he says. “She
was broke?” I ask.
He laughs, “No, I mean bold and beautiful. I guess that’s why
you’re the first woman to use her kitchen ever since she
died.”
Oh shit, what if her ghost comes to haunt me at night?

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 12
NALENHLE

His mother was passionate about homeless children, soupon

hearing that I suggested that we visit the homelessshelter in
town and spend time with the children. Big mistake, those
little humans are exhausting. It turns out I’m not that similar
to his mother because I’m not passionate about children, I’m
a child myself that needs a sponsor. We got there with some
gifts that I wrapped on last minute, I had to assist in the
kitchen and later join them playing in the backyard.
It’s needless to say I’m tired to my bones. We are aboutto
leave but the little ones don’t want their malume to leave.
They’ve come to stand outside the car, grilling both of us
with questions. He loves them, he’s been smiling ever since
we got here.
“Aunt and I are going to come back with a lot of toys and
goodies and visit you guys the whole day,” he says.
“And balloons?” one asks, she’s dimpled and bubbly.“Yes!
Right, auntie?” He looks at me.
I need balloons of my own.
“Yes,” I smile.
That sends them back inside the building with smiles ontheir
faces.
We finally get in the car and leave. I need a glass of wine and
one hour body massage. But despite all of thatI’m happy, his
heart is full, that’s all I wanted. I successfully carried my
duties as his self-employed PA.
-
-
-

I throw myself on the couch while he goes and makes his

coffee. He comes with two cups and offers me one. I’d take
wine over coffee but different rules apply here. Itake the
coffee and sit straight up.
“This is a thank-you coffee,” he says.
“But you know that would’ve liked a glass of…”
“No,” he says before I even finish.
This guy hates me.
“My mother didn’t like alcohol,” he says. “But
your friends were here drinking earlier.”Clearly
he has double standards.
“You’re not my friend,” he says. I
lift my cup up, “Cheers to that!”
“I didn’t mean it like that. You’re a beautiful lady, you have a
lot to achieve and you can’t do that by drinkingeverytime
you’re happy or sad.”
“I can, but let’s not argue.” I don’t want this to be aboutme, it
will get nasty.
It’s his mother’s birthday, we can continue withcelebration
by ordering pizza.
“Your mother would’ve loved pizza,” I say.
“Just say you want pizza,” he laughs and takes out hisphone to
make the order.
Sometimes I like him, especially when he buys me food
without complaining about high prices like some men I have
hung out with in the past.
“I didn’t imagine today going so well, I’m truly blessed to
have you around,” he says.
“Just for today because usually you can’t stand me,” Isay.
“Most of the times yes, I can’t. You talk too much,” he
says.
“I beg to differ, I only talk when necessary.” I know I say
things that may sound dramatic at times but I definitely
don’t talk a lot. I don’t relate to people easily and they also
don’t relate to me.
“I’m going to have a new sbari,” I tell him.He
laughs, “Really? Tell me about it.”
“He’s been sending Zola flowers everyday.”“Everyday?” His
eyes widen.
“Yes, everyday. I think he’s rich and he wants to marryher,”
I'm exaggerating, it's not really everyday, it's beentwice.
“Why is being rich a standard?” he asks.
Very typical of an African man. They’ve had standardssince the
beginning of times but now they can’t understand why
women also have certain standards.
“Men want women who have attractive physical
features, limitless domestic skills and wombs that can
carry 10 babies. Women only want men who have money,
is that too much to ask? Your own mother married a rich
man.”
“No, she didn’t. I grew up with a hustling father, Msindisiand I
attended local government schools,” he says.
I didn’t know that, I just assumed they’ve always been
financially stable, but that wasn’t the point anyway.
“I’m talking about your current mother, MaMkhwanazi,” I
say.
“But she didn’t marry him for his money,” he defends.
He’s a little delusional. Who marries a man whose wifegot
murdered for no known reasons within six months and
mother his three children? She only did that because he
was rich. I also wouldn’t mind being a stepmother to the
kids that have trust-funds and maidscleaning after them.
“Did Mr X like your biological mother?” I ask.
“Yeah, he had a good relationship with her,” he says.
“Oh, maybe he’s just fighting her battles. Your fathermoved on
too soon.”
“It wasn’t too soon, he needed someone to help him with
Lwethu and Msindisi too.”
“I’m sure your father could afford a nanny.” I’m not
buying the excuse of him marrying someone for the
sake of children. There were other alternatives he
could’ve explored.
“It doesn’t matter, he got her instead and she was the best
thing in our life at that time.” He stands up and pullsdown his
T-shirt. I don’t know why he’s wearing saggy pants, I hate
them. Our delivery is here, I’m sure he wanted an escape
because he can’t stand a different
take on MaMkhwanazi and his father’s marriage.
-
-
-

I eat and head to “my room” to take a shower. I haven’t

checked on Zola since I left in the morning. I call to find out
how her day went. Surprise, surprise!
“I’m not in the house,” she says.
“Where are you? Who are you with?”
“I’m 29 years old, do I need to report to you?”
“Yes. Are you mad? Where are you?”
She laughs, “I’m older than you. It’s not even dark
outside and you’re worried about me. I’m having dinnerwith a
friend, that’s all you have to know.”
“Is it Mr Anonymous?” I know something is happening inher
life and I’m happy for her, I’ve been wanting her to either find
a man or hobby. I just don’t want to be left outof it, whatever
relationship she gets in I have to be a partof it.
“Maybe, maybe not,” she says.
“You’re so boring and you’re wasting my airtime.” I dropthe
call while she’s laughing. I don’t know how long she
thinks she’s going to hide a relationship, we live together
sooner or later I’m going to meet Mr Anonymous.

I get in my pyjamas and slide in bed, ready to participatein

fruitless online discussions about things that don’t matter.
Nzalo calls my name outside the door.
“Go away,” I say.
True to his rebellious nature, he comes inside instead ofgoing
away.
Oh no, take that back, he must come inside.
“I didn’t know which one you like,” he’s holding twopackets of
chips.
I like both of them, they’re different flavors.
“My guys really think you’re my maid, they would’ve crossed
boundaries if we didn’t have codes against eachother’s
employees,” he says.
I’m stunned by this reveal.
“So you are trying to tell me that one of them wanted to ask
me out and didn’t because he thinks I work for you?”I ask.
“Precisely,” he nods.
“And you didn’t correct him and tell him the truth?” I’m so
disappointed in him. This would’ve been my chance to get
myself a rebound boyfriend.
“No, I figured you wouldn’t have liked him anyway
because he’s like me,” he says.
Unbelievable!
“You’re not my dating agent. I would’ve liked him, as long as
he’s not seeing someone else because I hatecheaters and
lies,” I say.
He frowns and laughs. “You? You hate lies?”
“In a relationship, you idiot.” I hit him with a pillow. Lying
doesn’t mean I want to be lied to, especially in a relationship.
“So it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have money and looks
ugly, as long as he doesn’t lie?” he asks.
“Even if he’s ugly but he must take care of himself and smell
good. Money has to be there, even if he’s not rich,I don’t
want a man who asks me to split the bill,” I say.
“Stray bullets everywhere!” he laughs.
I’m glad he still remembers that he once hinted that we
should split the bill.
“Enough about me, what about you? Where is your
girlfriend?” I’m enjoying the snacks, they will go downwell
with some juicy relationship news.
“I’m single by choice,” he says.
Every lonely person says that by the way.“So
girls can’t turn you down?” I ask.
“No, come on, it’s me.” He’s so full of himself.
I bet he’s been turned down by girls in the past, he’s notChris
Brown.
“Why are you rolling your eyes?” he asks.
“Nothing. When is MaMkhwanazi going to get
grandchildren? You’re not getting younger, your chin is
covered with beard?”
“When is your own mother going to have grandchildren?”
He poses the question back to me.
I don’t think the society puts pressure on unmarried girlsto
have kids more than they put it on unmarried men.
They’re expected to have sons to carry their father’s
names.
“My mother is blind, she doesn’t care,” I say.
He nods and doesn’t say anything more. A lot of peoplereact
exactly like him. They don’t know whether to ask more
questions or feel sorry for me and shut the topic down.
“My uncle isn’t looking for grandchildren until I’m married.
And there’s Zola before me, so there’s nopressure,” I say.
“But you said Zola’s rich man is going to marry hersoon,” he
says.
“He will and then he’s going to introduce me to his richfriends
and I will get married too.”
He bursts into laughter. It’s not far-fetched, is it?
“What if the rich man cheats and lies?” he asks.
“We will be married in community on property, remember? I
will file for divorce and get half of his property. So I will be
rich anyway, I will get anotherhusband and…” WTF!
“Nzalo are you sleeping while I’m talking?” I ask.
He lazily opens his eyes, “No, I’m listening. You will getanother
husband after your divorce?”
“Yes, the second husband will be someone in his late50s.
We’ll have children but he’d be close to death.
Once he dies I will inherit everything that he owned and
raise our children alone, maybe get myself a toyboy to keep
me company when they’re in school,” I say.
No response.
I look at him, he’s closed his eyes again.“Hey!” I
shake his shoulder.
He’s already snoring softly. Was my story that boring?
He’s sleeping in “my bed”, taking up all the space with his
long legs. I finish my snacks and leave him sleeping.I’m kind
enough to cover him first.
-
-
-

I’m bored, there’s nothing to do except watching TV which I

don’t want to do. So I make my way to the mainbedroom, it
used to be his parents’ room. The walls arelight grey, very
calm and relaxing. It’s less intimidating
than I thought it was being inside this room.
I open the drawers and find a photo album. There’s no picture
on the wall, they’re kept here in small sizes. Hisparents
wedding photos and them as babies. His fatherhad a beautiful
family. I wonder why his wife would justdie inside their home,
just like that.
They let her down, big time. I read her name behind onephoto
and put it on Google, surely her death made headlines. 16
bullets in a woman’s body!
Well, there it is. Her killer was caught within a few weeks,
her husband was having sleepless nights working with the
police. One of their neighbor was a witness, sherelocated to
the UK about two years ago
after retiring, it was just an old white woman. Mazwi, the
killer, had a daughter and fiance. He really risked everything
for this job. I’m calling it a job because he wasn’t an enemy
to the Hadebes, Mr Hadebe said he had never seen him
before.
I’m on my FBI mode, tracking down his fiance on
Facebook. She’s beautiful, I don’t know why her
babydaddy chose to leave her to raise their daughter
alone. Oh, their daughter has started college already. She
has her own Facebook account and damn, she’s living this
life thing. How did their life turn around so
fast? They seem to be well-off, even the mother is driving a
Mercedes. Their weaves shine brighter thanmy future.

I call Zola after walking out of the bedroom. She must be

already in bed but this can’t wait.
“Mmmmm,” that’s how she answers.
“Mzala, I’m sorry to wake you up. Can we talk?”
“Of course, I’m already awake,” she says, annoyed.“I
think Mr X killed his brother’s wife and now he’s
supporting the killer’s family and taking his daughter to
expensive private colleges,” I say.
“What? Have you been watching true crime
documentaries?”
Sigh!
“Look, I know this sounds crazy. But what if he did,
working together with MaMkhwanazi, and then she
turned around and betrayed him?”
“That doesn’t make sense. Why would he kill hisbrother’s
wife?”
“I don’t know, maybe he wanted to take over his companies.
So they started with the wife, planning to killhim next, but
MaMkhwanazi had second thoughts and decided it would be
more beneficial to marry the man instead.”
“I don’t think he’d do something like that. Just go to bed,this
case was handled by private investigators and top police
officers. All of them failed. What do you think you,ordinary
Nale, is going to achieve?”
“I can’t help but feel like people let her down on
purpose,” I say.
“Who is her?” she asks.
“Thobile Mpungose, the real Mrs Hadebe,” I say.
“Nalenhle that’s not your fight to fight, you went there for
good food and backyard pictures. Get in bed and sleep.” She
drops the call.
Maybe she’s right, I didn’t know Thobile to be bothered by
what happened to her. I’m just ordinary Nale who
can’t even figure out who her father might have been. I
need to get in bed and sleep.

But which bed? Nzalo has his arms spread to my side ofthe
bed, snoring. I pull a pillow and get a thin duvet fromthe
wardrobe. It looks new, at least I know his mother never
used it. I sleep facing a different direction. This is my first
time sharing a bed with a man I don’t like.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 13
NALENHLE

He woke up first, I find him in the kitchen having a cup of

coffee. I still can’t believe we shared a bed. I have
freshened up, I’m hoping we are going out for breakfast.
“You slept in my bed,” I say.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that happened. But I paid forit,
you kicked my face all night,” he laughs.
“You’re lying.” I’m embarrassed.
“You did, and you were bursting your engine all night. You
need to stop eating eggs, you don’t fart to releaseyour pipes,
you fart to pollute the planet.”
I was asleep, so I have no comeback, I’m standing like arained
chicken embarrassed.
His phone rings, putting an end to his stupid laughter.
“Ncane?” he answers, then his eyes widen. He
puts down the phone. “My mother is here.”Fuck,
no.
MaMkhwanazi can’t find me here.
He stands up, “I have to go and open the gate.”
“What is she going to say finding me here?” I’m nervous.
“I don’t know, just relax.” He takes the keys and walksout.
I think about running to the bedroom and hiding under the
bed. But how long can I hide? I don’t know if she’s here to
stay or just dropping off something.

They walk in with food containers, she’s here to bring him

food. He didn’t tell her while they were outside thathe has a
guest and that guest is me; she’s shocked.
“This is Nalenhle,” he says awkwardly.
She looks younger than I anticipated, maybe she’s inher mid-
40s. She’s evidently a rich widow, her jewelryalone can
renovate my uncle’s house. “Isn’t this the same girl who
tried to ruin your father’s funeral?”
I should’ve hidden somewhere, this won’t be good.“I
can explain ncane,” Nzalo says.
“Explain what? You brought her to Thobile’s house aftershe
disrespected her husband that way. No Nzalo, if you’re not
going to respect your father then spare your mother, I’m sure
she’s turning in her grave.”
This is very rich coming from a woman who married
Thobile’s husband before her body even rotted in thegrave.
She’s mad, she walks out without saying goodbye.
I’m mad too, okay.
“Are we still going to eat out?” Nzalo asks.
“No, you’re taking me home.” I fetch my bag from his
mother’s guest bedroom.
I don’t want to end up doing or saying something I might
regret later. This MaMkhwanazi was willing to give me
cleansing but now that she’s found me here, Thobile is
turning in her grave. Well, she started turning when she
married her husband. Who still draws one-line eyebrowsin
this century? Failed make-up artist.
“What did I do?” he asks.
He saw exactly what just happened but he still wants toact
dumb.
“Take me home,” I say.
“But you’re the girl who tried to ruin the funeral. I don’t
understand why you’re so angry, people who attended the
funeral will know you as that girl,” he says.
I take a deep breath and ask again. “Nzalo please take me
home.”
“What did I do wrong?” He’s not moving.
Maybe I should request a cab instead of begging him.
MaMkhwanazi didn’t even help him celebrate his biological
mother’s birthday, I was here cracking my
head and making suggestions, yet she comes here and says
Thobile is turning in her grave because of me.
Nzalo didn’t even try to stand up for me and tell her that I’m
not what she thinks I am. That’s the least I would’ve
expected.
He finally agrees when he sees that I’m taking another
option and drives me to my house. We are not talking. He
thinks his stepmother was justified to say what she said to
me and I think she was unreasonable.
-
-
-
Zola is home, at least I will have someone to vent to. Itake
my bag and open the door. He holds my arm, pulling me
back.
I sigh, “What?”
“You’re being unfair. I didn’t do anything wrong, there was
nothing I could’ve said or done to avoid what happened. I
don’t understand why are you angry at me,”he says.
“If you don’t see anything wrong then maybe nothing is
wrong. Have a good day.” I don’t want to argue. Him andI are
not friends, maybe it’s time we stop hanging out
together in his mother’s house.
“Can I have your banking details?” he asks.
“No,” I say.
“But you said you’re my maid and personal assistant.”
“I’m nothing to you,” I pull away and climb out of the car.
I don’t want his money, lest his mother starts turning inher
grave again.
He doesn’t drive away until I’m through the door.

“Someone is angry,” Zola says, she’s standing in front ofthe

mirror tying her braids.
I throw my bag on our two seater and sit. I hate the
Hadebes.
“What did he do?” she asks.
“Him and his whole family can go to hell. Where are youoff
to?”
“I’m going to the mall,” she says.
“You look too good to be just going to the mall.” Zola hasno
sense of style but this morning she’s put an extra
effort. I don’t believe she’s only going to the mall.
“I’m going to be 30 next year, I must look good.” Sheputs on
her earrings and disappears to her bedroom.
Mr Anonymous means business, my cousin doesn’t even
have my time anymore. She comes back with aleather
jacket over her shoulders and says goodbye.
-
-
-
ZOLA
I’m more angry than I let on. I had to put a face for Nale.He
offered to send a car but I declined and took a taxi instead.
He’s at work on a Sunday morning, that alone proves that he
has a lot to hide. Xolani and I had dinnerlast night. It was fine,
romantic and definitely more than just dinner between two
people who are trying to have something together. I was
honest with him, I told him everything there’s to know about
my life, both present and past. I expected him to do the
same. We didn’t kiss but we almost did, I hugged him before
he left. I took in his scent, listened to his heartbeat and fell in
love with
fingers running on my skin. I haven’t felt the way I feel
about him in a very long time.
It would be a pity if my bubble ends in less than 24
hours.

He owns a Casino club, that’s where he’s at today. It closes on

Sundays, at least he knows that gambling isagainst God. I head
inside after the taxi drops me
outside the gate. I bet Nale has been here before,
there’s a bar at the side. He gets people drunk so that they
can gamble all their money away. I take out my phone to call
him because I’m not sure where his office
is. But he appears before I press the call button. He’s in dark
navy T-shirt and khaki shorts fastened with a belt, and golf
shoes. I’m attracted to him in a way I can’t put in words. He's
the sexiest man I've ever laid my eyes on.
“I didn’t play, no sweat,” he says opening his arms.
I’m mad but I let him hug me. He really didn’t play; he
smells good.
He holds my hand as he leads me to his office. This place is
well-established, he might be more monied thanI thought.
His mini office at the back of the casino. It hasgleaming white
marble floors and soft grey walls. He pulls his swivel chair and
indicates for me to take a seat.

Now I’m sitting behind his desk, he’s standing at thefront

with his hands balanced on it. I’m nervous to confront him
but I can’t boil this inside my chest.
“Xolani, I asked you to be honest with me,” I say.He
nods, “Yes, you did.”
“Do you know anything about Nzalo’s biological mother’s
death?” I ask.
“She was shot in her home, I wasn’t in the province that
week. But I came home because her and I were good, I only
had disagreements with my brother. I helped with
the funeral, I stood by my brother’s side and followed up on
the case like any other family member.”
His face is calm, I can’t read what’s really going on hismind.
“Did you follow up on the killer’s family after his death?” I
ask.
“It wasn’t my place, so no,” he says.
“Someone is financing the killer’s fiance and daughter. I
wanted to know if you don’t know anything about it
because…” Let me end it here, I can’t bring Nale’s nameinto it.
“How do you know this?” he asks.
“I did a follow up and saw them on Facebook,” I say. “No, I
don’t know anything about that. What makes you
think they are not financing their own lives?” He’s askinga
valid question, but Nale’s suspicions cannot be dismissed.
“I just think it’s worth looking into,” I say.
“I can do that to prove my innocence to you. But after wefind
out that maybe someone is financing them perhaps to pay
the debt, what would we do? Thobile’s kids don’t care, they
have a new mother. Her husband also didn’t care. I’m not in
good terms with my family, what reason would I give for
digging things up?”
“Maybe it would be your way of reuniting with your brother’s
kids and make peace. You want that, right?” Iask.
“I do but I know that they will never give me a chance aslong
as MaMkhwanazi is there,” he says.
“She’s not untouchable, nobody is. Just because your brother
failed to get justice for his kids’ mother doesn’t mean you
must also throw in the towel.” Looking in his eyes I can tell
that he’s innocent. If Xolani was capable of hiring a hitman to
put 16 bullets in a woman’s head hewould’ve done the same
to MaMkhwanazi a long time ago. He has many reasons to.
I get off the chair and take his hands, turning him aroundso
we stand face to face. I want him to be okay with his
family, he can’t be a loner forever.
“You’re the only father figure they have now. Take on
that role and forget about MaMkhwanazi for a moment.
She doesn’t deserve any part of you and you’re giving her
so much power over you. So what if you two didn’t end up
together? I’m here.”
He smiles, “Nokuzola, you’re going to make the old
man's heart beat too fast. What are you saying?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care. I have been thinkingabout
your proposal and I want us to try, but on condition that we
have our eyes on the future, not the past,” I say.
“Is that a yes?” he asks.
“Well, in a multiple choice format, yes.”
He lifts me up and turns to put me on top of his desk. He
buries his head on my shoulder and severally pecks my neck,
causing me to giggle like a little girl.
He finally lifts his head and we share our first kiss. This is the
quickest I’ve ever gotten in a relationship, I haven’tknown
him that long but I know I want something solid out of this. I
want something that’s going to last for a
lifetime.
-
-
-
I’m a shy person, I don’t know if I will ever adjust to his
lifestyle. He does a lot to express his love. I’m the only
woman carrying two dozen of red roses and a bag of
goodies. His love language is louder than his personality. I’ve
never had a man who buys me flowers,gets me food and
holds my hand at the mall to show everyone that I’m his. It’s
a bit overwhelming but I’m enjoying it. Now that we are
official I have to tell Nale about our relationship. I don’t
know how she will take it because she’s now close to Nzalo
and she still holds onto her lie that Xolani threatened her.

He parks down our road, it’s almost midday. “Are

you still going back to the Casino?” I ask.
“No, I need to go and rearrange my house,” he says.I
don’t know why I’m smiling. “Why?”
“Because I have turned on a new page in my life and Ineed
to make sure everything is organized,” he says.
I’m not going to do sleepovers yet, I won’t easily break my
celibacy. This relationship is still new, there’s a lot weneed to
learn about each other before we get there.
“You go and rearrange your house and I will go and takea
nap,” I say.
“Without kissing me goodbye?” He turns my face and
leans his forehead on mine.
I close my eyes and welcome his lips on mine. This onelasts
longer, he doesn’t want to let go.
We finally break it off, he rubs my lip with his finger, hiseyes
locked on me.
“I’m not going to take this for granted, MaThabethe.
Inhliziyo yakho ngizoyiphatha kahle, thank you for
trusting me with your heart,” he says.
“I believe you.” I really do but we are going to take this
step by step.
“We will talk on the phone, keep it close,” he says.
I walk inside the house with a smile stuck on my face.I’m
really dating. I’m in a relationship!!!
-
-
-
Nale is standing with her hands on her hips and a wild look on
her face. I take it she’s already seen his car, sheknows that
he’s been my Anonymous lover. We have towork around it as
cousins because I’m not going to let
Xolani go.
“Mr X, really Zola?” She’s shocked.I
expected this reaction.
“I will explain, wait.” I have to put my things in the
cupboard and take a deep breath.
I have a fuckin’ boyfriend.
“I can’t believe this. It’s been Mr X all this time and youwent
to see him right after I told you what I think he might have
done.”
“He didn’t do it. I asked him about it and he said he’s
willing to investigate,” I say.
She puts her hands over her head. “You did what?”
“I didn’t mention your name, I said it like it was my own
suspicions,” I tell her.
“I was telling my cousin whom I trusted with my life and
inner thoughts. And you went and told him everything?”
She’s crying.
“I’m done!” she sniffs and walks away.
This is dramatic and I don’t think I’m really the reason why
she’s crying. I didn’t mention her name, Xolani and Iwere
talking before her phone call. I needed closure for myself, I
had to ask.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 14 NALENHLE

I’m miserable and hopeless. Yesterday Zola and I went to bed

without resolving our issues, today I went to work
leaving her in bed. Now I’m coming back to her ready forher
shift. I want us to talk but she doesn’t look like she wants to.
Nzalo and I had no defined friendship or anything close to
that, but we were cool. It feels worse
than a break up with Tom. I keep hoping that he’s goingto
come and apologize, but another part of me wants
this to be the end. My life has been dramatic ever since I
got involved with the Hadebes. Now Zola is dating Mr X,I’m
better off the equation.
“There’s food in the microwave,” she says, closing her
lunchbox.
“Thanks.” I open the microwave. It’s not home-cooked meal
but Nandos cheese roll and chicken with chips. MrX
obviously bought this. Zola knows how I feel about him, this
is just another thing that’s going to make us
fight.
I close the microwave. “Thanks but I will cook, I’m
craving potatoes.”
“Really?” She rolls her eyes and pulls the chair to sit.There are
issues, she’s very much aware of that. “Areyou going to give
me your blessing or what?”
“With Mr X?” I ask.
“Xolani, yes. He makes me feel happy. I have never hada
man who listens to me and do things for me the way he
does,” she says.
I pull the chair and sit too. “I want you to be happy, butMr X?
How do you even know that his intentions are pure?”
“Wait!” she takes her phone and scrolls down the screenand
then gives it to me. It’s an E-wallet of R500.
“It’s for my taxi fee and lunch. He wanted to send a driver
to take me to work but I declined. I don’t want tochange
my lifestyle overnight. Then he sent me the money for taxi
and lunch.” she says.
“But your return is R30 and you have your lunchbox.” Even
though I don’t like Mr X, this deserves a round ofapplause.
Older men are what they’re always said to be...ATMs.
“He’s different, I really want to give him a chance,” shesays.
I can tell she’s speaking from her heart. Do I trust Mr X?No.
“How old is he again?” I ask.
“Does it matter? He’s only 14 years older than me,” shesays.
I can’t believe she just said “only” before 14 years older.When
my aunt was pushing her out of the womb Mr X was already
having wet dreams and masturbating.
“Nzalo is also old,” she tries to justify it.
Nothing can ruin my mood faster than the mention of
that man’s name. But I still defend, he’s not old at all,he’s
within our age bracket.
“Did you guys break up?” she asks.
I can’t help but laugh. “Break up? We have never been a
thing.”
“Then why are you heartbroken?” She’s asking a valid
question.
Why am I heartbroken?
“You enjoyed his company, didn’t you?”
I let out a heavy sigh and nod. Acceptance is the firststep
towards healing. I did like being around him, it didn’t have to
be romantic.
“Are you going to need a bottle of wine?” she asks.
My way out of every sad situation has always been
alcohol, but not this time.
“I want to cry and sleep,” I say.
“Aw mzala, you’re really sad.” She comes and hugs me.
Whenever someone sympathizes with me, I cry. She holds
me while I flood my face with tears. I’m in pain butI don’t
want to numb myself with alcohol, I want to feel every
ounce of it. Maybe after this I will stay away from men I’m
not related to.
“Are you going to be okay?” Zola asks. “Yeah.” I
nod, “Can you do me a favor?”“Anything
mzala,” she says.
“Block him, let’s not talk to him ever again.”“Your
enemy is my enemy, period.”
“But Mr X is my enemy too.”
She laughs and picks her bag. “Hold it right there, I needto
figure out how I’m going to spend my R500.”
“Invest it on me,” I say.
“Never!” She walks out, laughing.
She’s really happy, I don’t know if Mr X is genuine but Ihave to
accept their relationship and be happy for her.
She’s done the same with all the assholes I’ve beenwith.
-
-
-
My phone rings. It’s my uncle, I haven’t called home intwo
days, I was going through a lot.
“Thabethe,” I answer.
“I almost went to the police to open a missing person
case. Why are you not calling your family?” he asks.
“I’ve been busy malume, I’m sorry. How is everyone?”“We are
all fine. How are you and Nokuzola?”
“We had a fight yesterday but now we are good.”
I hear him taking a heavy sigh. Zola and I hardly argue, Ihope
he knows it’s not that deep.
“I need you both home this Sartuday,” he says.“Why?
Is there anything wrong?” I ask.
“No, there’s a little something that we need to do as afamily,”
he says.
“Okay, I will tell her when she comes back, you know how
her shifts are.” I know we are called for a ritual or
ceremony, my uncle never gets tired of slaughterings
I didn’t do my laundry yesterday, I need to do it this evening
and keep myself busy before I get sick thinkingabout the
Hadebes. At least I will be home during the
weekend, that will also help me get over it. Who knows,next
week when I come back I might meet someone special.
Oh no, I said I need a break from men.
-
-
-

It’s Saturday, both Zola and I are home as malume

instructed on Monday. I thought there’s a ceremony but he
just says he missed having both of us home at once.Zola is in
love, it’s so obvious that even her mother keeps frowning at
her. She’s on Whatsapp most of the
times smiling to herself.
“What is in that phone?” Auntie finally asks.
“Just memes,” she shrugs and puts her phone down.
Auntie looks at me hoping I will share, unfortunately it’snot
my place. I leave them to catch up, maybe Zola willlet the
cat out of the bag. I go to my mother’s bedroom where
she’s resting. Even though she can’t talk to me back, I like
having conversations with her. She never judges me…not
that she can.
“My heart was broken again,” I tell her.She
holds my hand, comforting me.
I laugh, “It’s not that serious, he wasn’t my boyfriend. His
surname is Hadebe, I hope I’m not related to it. I always
worry about associating with my dad’s relatives without
knowing we share the same blood.”
I know this is not a good topic, he’s my dad but to her he’s
a rapist. But I want to share my thoughts with her every
now and then, she’s my mother.
Malume calls me from the kitchen. I just left, what does he
want?
“I will be back,” I tell my mother.
I walk in to the kitchen, auntie is dishing up. I have my own
plate, so does Zola.
“You two will eat in one bowl,” she says.
Zola has the same reaction as me. “As old as we are?” “Are
you short of food?” I ask.
“I used to share from the same bowl with three cousins
growing up. This will strengthen your relationship, eat up,”
malume says.
Now I know why he’s doing this. I said Zola and I had a
fight on Sunday, now he’s making a big deal out of it. Weare
both grown women, we argue and resolve our issues. I don’t
think this thing works, we are still not going to see everything
the same way. But I take a spoon and we both eat from one
bowl. Zola’s throat is
three years older than mine, I have to pick up my eatingpace
before all the rice disappears in front of my eyes.

Eating from one bowl like the Zwane people wasn’t enough
assurance for my uncle. Now he’s filled a big
basin of water for us to share a bath. We did bath together
growing up, our bodies were still innocent
God’s temples. But now it’s disgusting, Zola’s body isnow Mr
X’s temple.
“Is this necessary?” she asks her father, she feelsexactly the
same.
“You two question everything. I know you categorize asadults
but under this roof you’re children. Don’t throw away that
water after you’re done,” he says and walks away.
We can’t share the same bath and wash our wholebodies,
even though he expects that. We wash our
faces separately and only put our feet inside the water
together.
Zola stretches her neck, glancing around, then leans
closer to me. “There’s an update regarding Mazwi’s
family.”
I’m no longer interested in the Hadebes but gossip is
gossip, I want all the details.
“His daughter received a scholarship, neh. Her mother is
currently single and unemployed, so your suspicions were
right to some extent. This scholarship is from
Steelwork Productions, owned by Gabisile Ngobese who
happens to be a member of the same church that your
mother-in-law goes to.”
“Who is my mother-in-law?” I’m confused.
“MaMkhwanazi,” she says.
I swear, if I slap this girl she will fly to Limpopo and
dance with Makhadzi. MaMkhwanazi can never be
anything that starts with “mother” to me.
“Is it possible that the scholarship is just a front?” I ask.
“Anything is possible. Xolani wanted to let this case bebut I
asked him to get more information. Who knows, maybe
Thobile Hadebe might finally get justice,” she says.
“That would be good but I don’t know if her kids wouldcome
on board if they find out that the evidence points
to their beloved stepmother.” I have hung out with Nzalo
enough to know that he’d go to the moon and back for
MaMkhwanazi.
“Why does Mr X hate her so much anyway?”
“She was with him before,” she says.
I was standing on one leg drying the other, I almost fall to
the ground. Mr X and MaMkhwanazi? I wonder if Nzalo
knows about this. She had the audacity to tell methat
Thobile is turning in her grave because of me whereas she
jumped from one dick to another, openingher legs for two
men who laid in the same womb.
“So mzala now tell me, are you fighting for justice or youlow-
key want to remove his ex from the community?” I ask.
She laughs out loud. “I’m a ten out of ten baby and he
knows that I’m the prize.”
“Okay, you go girl!” I’m definitely team Zola, if
MaMkhwanazi ever becomes a problem in their
relationship.
Malume collects our bathwater and puts a fire of flame inthe
middle of the yard, then he puts it out with our dirty water.
Do I think this will make Zola and I inseparable?
Yes, only because we’ve been that way since growing up. I
don’t know why he’s taking this so seriously. It’s notlike we
try to kill each other when we fight. It’s just disagreements
and ignoring each other for a couple of hours.
-
-
-

AT THE HADEBES

Nzalo came home but there’s some tension.

MaMkhwanazi makes him a cup of coffee and decidesto
address the elephant in the room. They can date whoever
they want, she’s always welcoming to
Msindisi’s different girlfriend. Some she’s hosted fordinners
and found out the next week that the relationship had
ended.
“Are you in love with her?” she asks. Nzalo’s
brows furrow. “In love with who?”
“That statuesque girl with big eyes,” she says.
Nzalo takes one more sip before putting the cup down.He’s
been wanting to talk about it but didn’t want to come
across as disrespectful. She just lost a husband,he’s very
mindful of that.
“Nale and I are not dating,” he says.
“Then what was she doing in Thobile’s house?”
“I asked her to come over and help me celebrate my
mother’s birthday since I wanted to be in the house.
She’s the only person that makes me comfortable whenI’m
there.”
Her eyes widen. “So that wasn’t the first time she was in
Thobile’s house?”
“No, we’ve been hanging out.” He takes a deep breath,
there’s a shallow smile on his face. “Yazi ncane whenever
she’s there it feels like my mother is also present.”
MaMkhwanazi frowns, “How so?”
“She reminds me of her, and there’s just somethingabout
her, she’s special.”
“But you said you don’t love her,” – MaMkhwanazi.
“I didn’t say that, it's just that she is the 50 shades of
craziness, I haven’t figured what makes her tick,” hesays.
“Nzalo please don’t tell me that you want to ask her outjust
because she makes you feel comfortable in your mother’s
house.” She can’t take this.
It’s okay if they remember their mother here and there,but
Nzalo can’t bring someone who’s going to be significant and
representing what Thobile was to them.
“She’s currently mad at me but time will tell,” he pickshis
cup and sips again.
MaMkhwanazi takes a few deep breaths and then
smiles.
“She will stay mad at you because you’re keeping her in that
empty house, starving her instead of coming here to eat and
then go do whatever you do in that house.”
“But you two don’t get along,” Nzalo says.
She chuckles, waving him away. “Nonsense! I will never stand
in the way of your happiness, if she’s the one then bring her
to me for dinner one of the days.”
Nzalo smiles, maybe Nale will forgive him after findingout
that he’s resolved the misunderstanding between them.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 15
NALENHLE

I’m coming back from work exhausted, we came back late

from home yesterday and I had to wake up early forwork
today. For the first time I’m praying Mr X had somefood
delivered for his boo. I’m too tired to cook, or to even eat
our nonsense food that we have in the house.
I get off the taxi and plug in my earphones, ready to burst
my music that I got from Whatsapp-digital-music store. My
eyes land on the black Avanza, maybe Mr X ishere to pick
Zola. Him and I haven’t ironed out our issues, I don’t even
think I want to, I have moved on
from the situation.

I make my way inside, just two steps from the door his
Fougere scent hits my nose. I pause and contemplatewhat
my next step is. Before I can make up my mind, Zola raises
her eyes and calls my name. I thought we agreed that he’s
now our mutual enemy. I take a deepbreath and proceed.
Zola stands up, she’s already dressed for work and holding
her bag. I feel betrayed and she’s just smiling at me.
“See you tomorrow,” she says and walks out, leaving mewith
the serial killer.
I wrap my earphones and put them inside my bag. I’m not
looking at him but I can feel his burning stare on me.I sit on
the couch and take off my work jacket.
“Hello,” he says.
I don’t respond, I start fixing my jacket’s zip.He
chortles, “You’re still angry at me?”
I finally raise my eyes to him. “What’s funny?”
“Nothing. How are you?” he asks.
“I’m fine, just tired and not in the mood.”“I
can see,” he says.
“So what do you want?” I ask.
“I want us to reconcile. So I’m here to say I’m sorry, whatI did
to you was wrong. Truce?” He’s so quick to shout
truce, I haven’t even done all my annoyed facial
expressions.
“I don’t like it when you don’t talk to me,” he says.
His voice could’ve deceived me into thinking he’s being
genuine, but I'm not naive.
“We don’t talk like that, we don’t even call each other.” Idon’t
understand why he’s making it sound like we are regular chat
buddies. We only talk when we see each other.
“It’s different to not talk because we are busy from nottalking
because you’re angry at me,” he says.
Don’t be flattered, Nale.
“Okay,” I say with a straight face.
“You forgive me?”
“Yes, I just said okay.”
Here I am, giving him another chance to let his
stepmother disrespect me.
“Now can you leave the jacket alone and look at me,” he
says.
I look up with a light frown. Is he trying to control me
now? Am I one of his employees?
“I missed you,” he says.
“Oh well, I can’t say the same because I’ve been too busy
to think about insignificant things.” I was home, Iforgot he
existed before walking in and finding him onour couch.
What was his name again?
“So you didn’t cry?” he asks.
Zola is testing me. We just got our bond strengthened at
home, why would she betray me like that?
He laughs. “Don’t be embarrassed, I’d be upset too if I
didn’t see my face for a week.”
Pshhhh! His face is not even that cute.
“You’re so full of yourself, I need to freshen up andcook.” I
get off the couch and take my jacket.
He picks the TV remote, I don’t think he’s going to leave
anytime soon.
“What can I watch here?” he asks, turning the TV on.
Zola and I haven’t paid our DSTV bill, we are still planning to.
It’s not like we watch TV everyday, most ofthe times we are
at work and our subscription goes to waste.
“Other channels are locked but you can watch Channel
100,” I say.
He switches to it. I don’t think he understands what I justsaid,
rich man’s son never had his channels locked by DSTV due to
unpaid bills. I won’t explain anything, this isa little welcome to
the real world.
I freshen up and pick a dress I normally don’t wear to be
indoors. It fairly shapes out my body, which I’m not tryingto
show off. That’s not my intention at all, I just want to put on a
dress that I bought with my hard-earned money.I cover my
head because I’m too lazy to style my hair.
Oh, he’s switched the TV off.
He looks up as I walk in. “Why did you make me watch a
promo channel?”
“It’s the only channel we have available at the moment,you
get to watch everything in one place.” Isn’t that so cool?
“Do you guys ever pay for this TV?” he asks.
“No, we are very poor.” I walk past, making my way tothe
kitchen.
Is he really not going to stop me and offer me arestaurant
dinner?
I look back, he’s looking at his phone, not at me. Sigh! Idressed
up for nothing.

I had my hopes up, now I’m disappointed and lazy to cook. I

chop the cabbage and put it on the stove to boil.I throw one
stock cube and cow intestines. Whatever comes out of this
will be my stew to eat with phuthu. I wait for it to cook and
taste it, more seasoning is needed.
The outcome isn’t something to serve a guest. But if he
took me to a restaurant, even a dodgy one with food that
looks different from the menu pictures, we wouldn’t beeating
this.
He takes the plate, looks at the cabbage that still has its
original color.
“This looks…healthy,” he says.
It's not a compliment, we all know how healthy mealstaste.
"Ngathi okwasesbhedlela, kuhle," he says my food lookslike
hospital food.
“Thank you,” I take the shade with grace.
He digs in, I’m staring at him so he chews and swallows.He
doesn’t finish his plate but he eats half of it.I guess he was
hungry, beggars can't be choosers. I’m aproud cook anyway.
“It’s getting late, we should get going,” he says.
“We?” I’m lost, did he bring an invisible friend with him.
“You said you forgive me, so I thought you’d come withme to
my house. Remember you said you want to see it,” he says.
“So forgiveness means a sleepover to you? You end uptaking
over your bed, why would I want to leave my bed that I
don’t share with anyone for you?”
He laughs, “I promise today I won’t fall asleep in your
room.”
So I have a room in his house as well. Why doesn’t hejust
change the title deed and give both houses to me?
I pack my pyjamas, clean work uniform and lunch bag,then
off we go. I text Zola on the way, letting her knowthat she
won’t find me in the house in the morning. Wehave renewed
our friendship or whatever this is, hopefully from now on he
will defend me from MaMkhwanazi.
-
-
-
Being in his house feels different. I’m sitting on the couch in
an open living room feeling cold. He showedme the room, I
left my bag inside and came back to watch TV. He comes
back from the kitchen with slicedfruits and juice in two
glasses.
“You look bored,” he says.
“I’m not, this is how I am when I’m in a space I’m not
familiar with,” I say.
“But in my mother’s house you weren’t like this, you were
going through the rooms and opening cupboards. Do you
not like my house?” He’s being sensitive and reading too
much into nothing.
“It’s beautiful, I like it,” I say.
We eat in silence, watching TV. I’m tired, I want to go tobed,
tomorrow morning I’m going to work. I check my Whatsapp
and find nothing exciting. Okay, it’s time to sleep.
He looks at me as I stand up, stretching my arms.
“Hhayi-bo Nale, are you that bored here?”
“No, I’m tired,” I say it for the second time.
His house is…well, not empty but it feels empty. I don’tfeel
comfortable as I do in his mother’s house, I didn’t
even step in his kitchen. Maybe it’s because of the sleekand
white walls, giving me the mortuary vibe.
-
-
-
He walks in after a few minutes, I’m already in bed. He puts
a bottle of water next to me and sits. I can see thathe’s now
a bit concerned.
“I’m tired Nzalo, I was at work for 9 hours,” I say.
“I know.” He takes his shoes and socks off, then gets inbed.
We are not sharing again, are we?
“You said you won’t…” I don’t finish.
He cuts me short, “I will go, who said I want to sleep
here? My bed has a headboard.”
I laugh, he’s dissing his own guest bedroom, this
headboard-less bed still belongs to him.
“MaMkhwanazi invited you for dinner,” he says.
I was feeling sleepy, but not anymore. Say what now?“Why?” I
ask.
“Because I told her how special you are. She’s my mother, if
you’re special to me you’re also special toher,” he says.
“You told your mother that I’m special yet you’ve nevertold
me.” How does that work? MaMkhwanazi was the first to
know about how special I am.
“I’d rather show you,” he says.
“But you’ve never showed me, you said I’m annoying the
other day.”
He laughs, “Being special doesn’t mean you can’t be
annoying at times. But just for the record, you’ve only
annoyed me once and that was when you were running
towards my father’s coffin.”
Was there a need to bring that up though? If I could I’dgo
back to the funeral and uncry.
“The other times I thought you were doing and saying
things to rub me off the wrong way. And I think you dothat
just for the fun of it, to anyone,” he says.
“But you don’t know me like that.” I feel judged and I don’t
think he has enough knowledge about me to draw
conclusions.
“I don’t feel like I know the real Nale. I know the characters
that you’ve given me, which I don’t think anyof them are
really who you are,” he says.
I have been insulted before but this takes the cup.
“Are you trying to say I’m fake?” I’m astounded.
“No, you’re not fake. But I feel like you have characters
that you act to face situations.” Indirectly, he’s still callingme
fake.
“So you’re pyscho-analyzing me now?” I’m offended by his
accusations. If he was so good why didn’t he analyzedetails
around his mother’s death.
“I’m not, that’s just how I feel. Am I not allowed to voiceout
my feelings?”
“Feelings about my life?” Hhayi, I thought I’ve heard itall.
Now he’s entitled to have feelings about my life!
“Maybe I should put it this way, can I get to knowNalenhle
better?” he says.
This is what he should’ve said in the first place. But now it’s
too late because I’m pissed and I’m going to turn my back on
him until he leaves.
“Seriously? We just reconciled less than 3 hours ago.” He
peeps over my shoulder, smiling like nothing seriousis
happening. “I’m sorry ke,” he says.
“Ke?” I turn my face to him.
He does the unthinkable and kisses my lips. It catches me off
guard, I’m not even sure if it really happened or Iimagined it.
“Nzalo did you…?” Oh hell yeah, he did. My lipgloss ison his
bottom lip.
“That’s a violation, you can’t kiss me without asking.” I’mnot
mad enough about this and he sees it, that’s why he’s still
smiling.
“Okay ngiyacela, can I have a kiss?”
“Why?” I think my face gives it away that I’m not refusingthis
kiss.
“Because I’m attracted to you. I want to be around youas
much as I can," he says.
“You know that I got out of a relationship not so longago.
You want to be my rebound?”
He laughs. “I plan to stick around for a very long time,honey.”
“Okay, kiss me,” I say.
He leans closer, aiming for my lips.“On
my cheek,” I say.
“Come on, I want a real kiss, I want to taste your lips,”he
says.
I know I look modern and act like I’m moving with times,but
I’m actually from the rural village, I need him to ask me out
first.
“Ngifuna ukushelwa, I want you to ask me out like weare
in old days,” I say.
He throws back his head and laughs.
I’m not even trying to be funny, I mean it.
He takes my hand and softly kisses the back of it. “Okay I will
ask you out, but can I get a kiss and cuddle just fortonight?”
“Just for tonight?” I ask to be sure.
“I promise.” He turns me around and entwines our
fingers together.

I have never looked into his eyes so close before but itfeels
like I have done it since forever. I feel his breath feathery
soft on my cheek, his eyelids flutter and then
close as our lips meet. I feel the warmth of his tongue ashe
parts his lips to tangle with mine. People say your
first kiss should send shivers to your body and escalateyour
heartbeat. But mine feels so calm, like I’ve known him
forever.
He pulls away with a muffled moan, our fingers are still
entwined together. He ogles at me with a smile on his face,
“Dudlu ntombi! Awungiphe amanzi nakhu ngisha,ngishiswa
wuthando.”
“That’s boring, I want you to ask me out the modern
way,” I say.
“You’re contradicting yourself but everything and anything
for you.” He kisses my forehead and smiles atme again.
I think I have been acting around him, just to hide how
much I’m actually attracted to him. But that doesn’t make
me a fake person!

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 16
ZOLA
I thought I was doing a good thing. I have a loving familythat
I’m very close with, that’s what I want for him too.
But I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m making a mistake.This
little investigation I motivated him to do has put an
emotional strain on him. He’s tense, I can see from his
flexed jaw as he drives me home from work. I tried
turning him down but he insisted, saying he’s
uncomfortable with his woman taking taxis early in the
morning. I guess he forgets that this is the life I’ve been
living since I was in my early 20s.

He pulls up outside the house, he’s never been inside

before. I’d invite him in for a cup of tea but he’s on hisway
to work, I can’t delay him.
“Maybe you should call MaMkhwanazi,” I say. I know he’s
got a lot in his chest that he wants to talk to her about
outside Thobile’s case. “Let her know that you know what’s
happening and then watch what her nextmove is going to
be. What you have is not enough to convince the world that
she was behind the murder.”
He takes a deep sigh and scrolls down his phone. He’s calling
his ex on loudspeaker and I’m sitting right next tohim. We
are not even enjoying the tender stage of our relationship
because we have put a mission to punish MaMkhwanazi for
her sins as the main priority.
“Hello,” she answers.
He takes another deep breath, “Phindile, I hope you’re
well.”
“What do you want?” she asks.
Nothing about her tone fits the Christian picture I had.
“It’s about Mazwi’s family, someone is paying them andthat
raises a lot of questions to me. I think he was sent to kill
Thobile, he made a deal with someone who’s still paying off
the debt.”
“What are you saying Xolani?” Her tone changes
instantly, she no longer sound angry.
“I’m going to tell Nzalo and Msindisi, I’m sure they’ll wantto
know more,” he says.
“No, you can’t do that. I mean they’re kids,” she says,
sounding edgy.
“Nzalo is 33 years old, Msindisi is 25, they can handlethis.”
He’s leading her straight to the trap.
And just like that, she steps right into it. She sounds
more fearful now.
“Let’s meet and talk about this as elders, there’s noneed to
make them relive the trauma,” she says.
Xolani looks at me, I’m certainly feeling a type of way
about them meeting but I give him a nod and he
continues making arrangements with her.“You
will come with me,” he says.
“No, I’m fine.” I’m not going to be insecure, I have nevermet
MaMkhwanazi but I know she’s not a piece of meat that can
stuck on my throat.
“I want you to come with me, I don’t want to do anything
crazy to her,” he says
We are still in early stages, I wasn’t ready to come out tohis
family members and enemies as his girlfriend. But I will go and
be by his side, if that’s going to make him
feel comfortable.
He puts the phone away and looks at him, his lips finally
cracking a thin smile. “Things are getting in the way of us
strengthening our love. When are you visiting your man
ntomb’ emhlophe?”
“What’s the rush? We always see each other,” I say.
“Awu MaThabethe, even if it’s just for one night, you’re off
today. I have no other intention other than wanting tospend
time with you,” he says.
There’s a way he looks at me, I don’t think any man has
looked at me like this before.
I betray my own set principles and agree. “Do I comeafter
the meeting with MaMkhwanazi?”
“You can just come with your bag at once, go and havesome
rest for now,” he says.
I lean over for a kiss, careful not to wrinkle his shirt.
When I pull away he holds my hand.
“I love you,” he says.
The L word hasn’t been said before, we liked each otherand
started this relationship about a week ago.
“You love me?” I’m still trying to take it in.
“Yes I do, I love you.” His stare doesn’t shift, it’s like he wants
me to read what he’s saying in his eyes. Every doubt I had
about him no longer exists, I believe he’s anhonest man who
hasn’t been given a chance to prove his innocence. And I’m
not going to make him fight for me the way he’s fighting for
his family.
“I’m going to be your happy place, just one thing that’sgoing
to bring you peace,” I say.
“I appreciate that, thank you.” He kisses my hand andlets
me go.
Our relationship is growing faster than I anticipated. I
wanted to take things slowly but the universe wants usto
get right into it. I’m going to be by his side when he faces
MaMkhwanazi.

Nale went to Nzalo’s place, I knew it was going to happen

that’s why I didn’t entertain it. When Nzalo cameknocking on
our door, I let him in and I knew they were going to make up.
I’m not sure if they’ve realized that
they’re in a relationship and they’ve been in it for a couple
of weeks. I’ve met different guys before, Nale isthe type that
believes in indoda, she starts picturing a wedding right after
the first date and that’s why she’s always heartbroken. But
with Nzalo it’s different, she
doesn’t even realize that she’s in a relationship with him.I
have hope, it will be different than any other relationship
she’s had in the past.
My father calls, I just got in bed after setting the alarm
clock for 1pm.
“Are you and your cousin getting along?” he asks.
“Yebo baba, we are okay.” I don’t know why he’s sofussy
about it these days, we are always okay.
“I had a bad dream about both of you,” he says,
ebidently concerned.
“What was it about?” I ask.
“You were going against each other, there was a womanin
between. Please don’t let people come between the
two of you,” he says.
“Don’t worry baba, Nale and I are okay,” I assure him.
“Alright, have a rest I’m sure you’re tired,” he says, sounding
a bit relieved. I can hear my mother in the background, she
wants him to give her the phone but he’s shutting her down
saying I’m coming from work, it can wait. I’m sure she wants
to ask me for some money,that’s what my mother is good at.
-
-
-

I have packed a pair of cute underwear, even though I’mnot

planning on breaking my celibacy yet but I know howmen can
be. If a moment of weakness catches me, I want to be
prepared. I was expecting him to pick me up but he sent the
driver and we are going straight to Chelmsfold Heights. I have
a picture of how his living space looks like. I know he’s got
some plants, large
backyard and achromatic painted walls. He’s laid back,totally
different from the man I thought he was when Nale told me
about him approaching her with a gig in abar.
The front door is open, the car drops me off and leaves.I
don’t see anyone, so I let myself inside. Everything I pictured
about the house is true, except that I didn’t picture a man in
an apron standing in the kitchen with asoup ladle in his
hand.
He turns around with a smile. “Oh, hello mam.”“I
almost got lost,” I say.
He hugs me apologizing. “I wanted you to find your meal
ready, I’m sure you’re hungry.”
I am, I woke up and got ready to come here. I didn’t geta
chance to eat and I’m salivating over the aroma coming
from his pot.
He pulls the chair for me to sit and serves me curried
chicken soup with baked cheese sliders. There’s something
weirdly unsettling about how perfect he is inmy eyes.
“So Mr X, what are your flaws?” I ask.
He’s clearing out the sink. “What do you mean, Miss N?”
“Nobody is perfect, what is the downside of being with you?
If you were perfect as I think you are, you wouldn’thave
been single when I found you,” I say.
“The only thing I can say is don’t think I’m perfect because
I’m far from it.” He doesn’t put anything in
details, so I know I have to prepare myself for surprises.
Change of plans, MaMkhwanazi is coming here. She
doesn’t want them to meet in a public space, I guess she
doesn’t want any mistake of being seen with him. Ican’t
wait to see her and hear what she wants to say.

He shows me around the house. I didn’t expect him to have

his brother’s kids on the wall but they’re all here, including
the girl. Nzalo was young here, he was in highschool and he
looked so different.
“Do they ever come here?” I ask.
“Not Msindisi, he’s far up his stepmother’s ass.” He moves to
the next picture. It’s those old black and whiteones, a picture
of a beautiful lady with combed afro. Hedoesn’t say who she
is, he just moves to the next one.
“Who is that?” I ask, my woman instincts just woke up.
“She would’ve been your mother-in-law,” he says.
I move back to it. “This is your mother? She was
beautiful.”
“Yes, she was. Sadly her heart was not.” He points atthe
other one; two boys with a ball in front of them.
That’s him and his late brother. So they once got along.He
stares at it longer than others.
“What happened between the two of you?” I ask.
“Money happened. Our father didn’t leave a will, that’swhen
things fell apart,” he says.
“He took all the inheritance?” I ask.
“Yeah, he was appointed to inherit everything as the first
born. He took everything from me, everything!”
I hope he’s not counting MaMkhwanazi as everything because
I’m everything. I blame his family, no child should be above
others, no matter which position theyhold.
“I’m sorry,” I don’t know what else to say.
I don’t think he’s over it. His brother died before theymade
peace.
His phone rings, he inhales deeply and answers. It’s her,she’s
arrived.
“I will come after you,” I say. I still want to see more of his
family photos. I snap a photo of Nzalo, I will show Nale
tomorrow. I’m sure she will be happy to see the young,
innocent-looking Nzalo. I have my hopes on him.I think he’s
they key in his siblings reuniting with his uncle. He’s the
eldest, they follow in his footsteps. But without evidence
Xolani cannot convince him that his beloved stepmother is
not the God’s cousin she portrays, she’s actually the devil’s
BFF….
Except that she looks nothing like the devil. She’s standing in
front of him, way too close. Her hand is onhis shoulder until
she raises her eyes to me. There’s alittle frown on her face,
then Xolani turns his head. I
thought I’d be walking into a war zone. Why is he
allowing her hand on him?
“Who is this?” she asks.
I thought she’d be wearing mourning clothes, not a
spring dress and high-block heels.
Xolani looks at me, “This is Nokuzola.”
He doesn’t shift his eyes away for a minute, trying to
read my face.
I fold my arms and lean against the wall, I’m just going
to watch. My feathers are ruffled a bit. So what would’ve
happened if I wasn’t here? Was he going to let her seduce
him? Is he not over her?
“Oh, another gold-digger,” she says.
I’m not here to dig any gold, she’s insulting me.“Yes,”
he says.
I can’t believe my ears. I’m a gold-digger just because I
accepted a few roses and ate his food?
“Can she go? We are in the middle of a conversation,”she
asks.
He glances at me, I’m fuming.
“Come MaThabethe,” he opens his arm.
I step closer, he wraps his arm around my waist. “As I was
saying, I will be hiring private investigators to look into the
case again.”
“Is this the right time Xolani?” She’s looking at me
uncomfortably.
“Yes, this is the right time,” he says.
“I’m not going to talk about my family affairs in front of a
stranger.” She turns around and walks away.
I won’t lie, she’s a good-looking woman.“I
will talk to Nzalo about it,” Xolani says.
She stops and turns back. “Do not get my kids involvedin
this. They have already healed and you don’t know what it
took for them to get there.”
“They healed? I don’t remember them mourning Thobile,you
took over and replaced her. Do you even let them visit her
grave?” he asks.
“They don’t need my permission, they’re grown-ups.” She’s
coming back, arguing about her family affairs infront of a
stranger.
“Now they’re grown-ups?”
She takes a deep breath and glares at him. “What doyou
want Xolani?”
“I want…we want justice, all of us as a family,” he says.
“But the murderer died, everyone knows that. Why is it
wrong for his family to move on? So what if someone was
kind enough to get them out of poverty?” She’s losing it.
“Out of every struggling family it had to be them. How
lucky!”
“It’s fine if you don’t want to let it go but keep me and mykids
out of it.”
“They’re Thobile’s kids,” he says.
It doesn’t look like that was a gentle reminder at all,
she’s shaking.
Does she really want them to be her children? What did
Thobile ever do to her for her to take everything from her;
husband and kids.
“Stay on your lane!” She storms out.
This was fruitless but at least now he has triggered herto
make another move.
He sends a text, typing quickly. Someone is going to beon her
heels, following every move she makes.
I move out of his embrace and fold my arms again,
glaring at him.
“I’m just another gold-digger, really?”
He smirks, “I thought she said goal digger. Did you sayyou
have a driver’s license?”
“Yes,” I say.
“I hope you still know how drive, I have a car that I haven’t
used in a while. Instead of taking taxis, why don’t you put
your driving skills into good use and takeit?”
“A car? No.”
His ex just called me a gold-digger, why does he wantme to
prove her right?
“Why not?” he asks.
“Because it’s a car Xolani, I can’t borrow such a valuable
asset.”
“I value you more than any asset under the sun.” He
unfolds my arms, pulls me with him.
I don’t know if I will take it. I don’t want to be that girl who’s
dating an older man and suddenly driving a car, itwill send out
the wrong message. I’m not a gold digger, Ifell in love with his
personality, not what he has.
“I saw how you looked at me when you walked in. Whatwas
going through your head?” he asks
“From the way you speak of her, I didn’t think you’d lether
breathe so close to you,” I say.
“I want her to play her game. When I said your heart issafe
with me, I meant it. Right now she’s on her way toher friend,
Gabisile, and I’m with my gold-digger.” He kisses my cheek.
I can’t even get mad at him.
-
-
-
NALENHLE

I’m standing in taxi stop exhausted. I didn’t sleep well last

night, I had a man snuggled up on me the whole night and I
just felt unfamiliar with his house. I raise myeyes as I hear a
car coming.
Oh no, not the Avanza from yesterday. Why is he here?
He pulls up at the side of the road and rolls down the
window.
“Hello gorgeous, can I have your number?”
I roll my eyes and go to the window. Even though I knowhe
already have my number, I call it out for him and he
types it on his phone.
“Name?” he asks. “Nalenhle
Thabethe,” I say.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Nzalo Hadebe.”
He’s so dramatic!
“I’d like you to join my family for dinner tonight, 7:30pm.”
“But we talked about this Nzalo.” Now we’ve droppedthe
act.
I told him it’s too soon for me to be meeting hisstepmother,
plus I don’t trust her.
“It looks bad Nale, I have taken you to my biological mother’s
house, meaning I’ve introduced you to her. Now
MaMkhwanazi feels left out, like I’m marking her offbecause
she didn’t give birth to me,” he says.
I can’t believe she’s that manipulative.
“She’s childish,” I unintentionally say it out loud.
“Come on, what’s so wrong about it? She just wants tomeet
the girl I’m spending so much time with.” It’s MaMkhwanazi,
he won’t see anything wrong with this rushed dinner.
“Okay,” I agree just for the sake of it. “Thank
you. When is the right time to call?”
“Anytime,” I say.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, I hope we’ll meet again.”He’s
in character again.
But why is he rolling down the window?
“I need a ride,” I open the door and get inside.
He laughs, “But I’m just asking you out. Didn’t your mother
warn you about taking lifts from strangers’ cars?”
"No, my mother can't speak, she's mute," I say.
"It was just a joke." He doesn't take it nicely, just like Ican't
take his stepmother's dinner invite nicely. I neverthought I'd
be attending family dinners before I even confirm a
relationship with words.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 17
NALENHLE

If Zola was here she would’ve told me this too much. I

criticize people’s make-up but to be honest I’m not a good
make up artist either. After failing to draw eyebrows that
look the same, I opted natural eyebrows and dark
eyeshadows. I tell you what, I look like a possessed Katy
Perry. But it’s too late to make changes,Nzalo is already on
his way. I have packed my overnight
bag with my pyjamas and work uniform because I knowfor
sure that I’m not coming back tonight.
I’m wearing heels, I don’t want to be mistaken for a village
girl who’s going to wash dishes after dinner. I look at
myself in the mirror, even though my make-uplooks scary
I’m actually a beautiful girl. I take a few selfies and send
them to my new friend that I got on adrinking spree, Slee.
She sends back fire emojis, validating what I already knew.

Nzalo calls saying he’s outside, I grab my bag and makemy

way out. I wish he could’ve parked closer, this is a long
distance to walk on pencil heels. I have skinny legs,what if I
trip and they break?
A gentleman would’ve come out of the car with a camera,
whistled and snapped pictures. This elegantdress I’m
wearing is not from free market, I actually ordered it from
Shein and paid shipping fees.
“Do you need help?” That’s what he asks.
My ankle almost twists as I stand. “With what?”
“Oh…you look so beautiful,” he says what he should’ve
screamed the moment I stepped out of the door.
He opens the door, I get inside and give the heels a little
break. Why is he staring at me like that?
“I’m just taking my shoes off, I’m not killing anyone.”
“Absolutely!” he says.
I take out my sleepers from the bag and put them on. I didn’t
sign a contract with the heels, I can wear anythingI want.
“Are you done?” he asks.
I give him a look, he smiles.
“Can I get a kiss now?”
“We are not dating yet, you know that right?”“Yes, I
do.”
“Good.”
He brings his face closer, our lips entangle on a brief kiss.
His kisses are going to be my weakness, becausewhy am I
going in for another kiss?
-
-
-

I put my heels back on when we arrived, he held my arm

which made it easy to walk. We are at the dinner table but
MaMkhwanazi hasn’t arrived. Msindisi is getting impatient
saying he hasn’t had a meal in two days because of his work
schedule. I guess they don’t eat
until their beloved queen arrives. I had a sandwich in the
house so I’m still good, she can take her time.

Oh, she’s here.

Her heels are higher than mine. She’s wearing a hat likethis is
one of those top family dinners. She’s even overdressed and
outshining the guest.
Nzalo stands up and pulls the chair for her.
“Thank you son,” she sits, Nzalo returns to his seat.
This is too over the top, I only pull the chair for my
mother because she’s blind.
“Can we start over?” Nzalo says turning to me. “Pleasemeet
my father’s beautiful wife, umamncane wami.”
Then to MaMkhwanazi, “This is Nalenhle, she’s the reason
why I haven’t been home often. I’d like us to putthings in
the past.”
“Nice to meet you again, Nalenhle,” she says.
I’m not sure we are okay yet, so for Nzalo’s sake Iapologize to
her.
“I’m sorry about the scene I made at your husband’s
funeral,” I say.
“No, you’re young, I don’t blame you. I only want to
know if you really care for my son.”
I look at Nzalo, he’s got his eyebrow raised waiting foran
answer to.
“Yes, I do,” I say.
“Good, the last thing we need is someone coming intoour
space with unknown intentions,” she says.
I thought I was invited to their space, I didn’t just come
here.
“Can we eat?” Msindisi.
She laughs, “Stop being forward and embarrassing me.
Your brother will start a song and make a small prayerthanking
this dinner, then we will dig in.”
That’s so religious.
I look at Nzalo. Can he sing?
Oh yes, he can. I’m stunned. They really open a churchbecause
of food?
We close our eyes, he prays. I undermined him, heknows the
church language.
“Nalenhle do you go to church?” MaMkhwanazi asks.
“Not physically, I attend with my heart,” I say.
Msindisi laughs, “That makes the two of us.”
“I need to pray for you two.” She’s starting to sound
welcoming and warmer than I anticipated.
She serves around the table before sitting down.
“How is your mom?” she asks.
Umh, she’s looking at me.
“She’s okay,” I say.
“She has a beautiful daughter.”
“Thank you.” I might leave with aching cheeks from allthe
smiling.
The food is nice, especially the salmon. Msindisi eats asmuch
as he complains, maybe he really hadn’t eaten in two days.
This dinner is not what I had in mind, nobody
is interrogating me, I’m getting to see Nzalo as a child and as
crazy as it may sound, I’m seeing why they love
MaMkhwanazi. Had I not known that their mother is late,I
would’ve thought she’s their biological mother.

There’s a dessert, she went all out for me. Nzalo doesn’teat
dessert, so he goes to check their geyser as requested.
Msindisi eats everything and leaves no crumbs, then gets a
phone call that he takes outside. I’mleft with MaMkhwanazi,
craving something stronger thanthe drinks we have on the
table.
“You look very young, how old are you?” she asks.“I’m
26,” I say.
“You could’ve been with Msindisi. He’s your age group.”
I’m not sure what to make of her statement. I’m not attracted
to Msindisi and he’s not attracted to me. Whosaid I want to be
with someone of my age group?
“We are not dating yet, we are still getting to know each
other,” I say.
“Oh, please!” She chuckles, “You’ve been in and out of
Thobile’s house practicing to be his wife. I just hope you’re
not with him because you think he’s going to takeyou out of
poverty.”
This is what I was expecting from the start, her true
colors.
“I don’t come from poverty. I come from an average
family, both my cousin and I work and earn decent
salaries so we don’t marry men for money.” I hope shecaught
that sub, it’s hers.
“Don’t you work at NU? General workers earn R6.5k,
that’s not a decent salary given that you are renting andhave a
single, disabled parent,” she says.
I hate it when people bring up my mother to prove and
support their argument. My mother receives grant fromthe
government and my aunt gets compensated for being the
guardian. I’m content with what I earn, I havenever eyed
and hated my line manager, MaKhoza, for her position and
what she earns….right?
“Is Nokuzola related to you?” she asks.
I’m confused. How does she know her name and what’sher
business?
“Yes,” I say.
“She needs to be careful with the man she’s with. You also
need to be careful, that’s why I approve of you spending time
with my son. I wouldn’t want anything badto happen to you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I know Xolani, we all do, there’s a reason why we don’twant
him closer to us. He doesn’t take opposing views and he
certainly doesn’t take betrayal. You betrayed him, that’s why
he’s using your cousin to get closer to you and your family,
he’s planning his revenge.”
“No, that’s not true.” It can’t be.
She sips her drink with a mocking grin.
“You’re so young ngane yami!” “Mr
X is not a bad person,” I insist.
“Well, I know him better than you do, he’s my children’s
uncle.”
“He is your ex, that’s why you don’t like him,” I say the truth.
Zola told me about this woman, she’s a devil thatwears high
heels and sings Hallelujah.
She’s shocked and worried about her surroundings, checking
if neither Msindisi nor Nzalo are at an ear distance hearing
this. “So he’s now telling people that hewas my ex? I’m
keeping quiet because I’m protecting hisimage. If we go back
there I’d have to tell people why webroke up, why I have
scars that will never heal and attending therapy.”
“But you betrayed him.” I don’t know why she’s trying tobe a
victim.
“Sbusiso saved me from the devil. I’m only telling you
because I care about Nzalo and since he cares about you,
you have to be safe. I’m sure he’s painted himselfas the saint
to you and your cousin. He didn’t mention that he’s a
rapist.”
I’m triggered. No matter how much I like a person but
once there’s rape involved, I turn into a hater with
immediate effect.
I take a deep breath, “What are you talking about?”
}} “We broke up because he raped me, everyday. I was
helpless, he was stronger than I am. He was always angry at
his family and taking it out on me. He is a very
violent man, I wouldn’t wish what he did to me even onmy
worst enemy.”
“Did you press charges?” I ask.
“I didn’t want him to go to jail. You know how silly you can
be when you’re in love. I believe he was going to change
but he never did. I cried to his family, asking forhelp, and
that’s how I got to know Sbusiso. He helped me a lot,
medically and mentally. We fell in love and heshowed me
how a woman is treated like, Xolani didn’t
take it well. He can’t accept his mistakes and be happyfor
people who are happy without him,” she says.
I don’t think she genuinely likes me for Nzalo but I canput
that aside. I hold her hand, the way I hold my mother’s.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Nowoman
deserves that kind of trauma.”
“Don’t worry, I’m good. I’m really good, Nalenhle. I’m in a
better place, I found a good husband and most importantly I
found God. I just don’t want my children to know all this. I
still want to protect his image from them, even though they
don’t like him for all that he’s done in
front of them, but telling them what he really did would
destroy their relationship with him for good.”
“It’s not your job to protect his reputation,” I’m so mad.
“I know, trust me. But I’m a wife kwaHadebe, I have tobuild
this family, not destroy it. That’s just how it is.”
She’s a better person than I am.
“Enough with sob stories. Guess what? Nzalo told me that
you enjoy lokhu okubabayo and I bought a bottle, just in
case I like you.” She stands up, smiling.
“So you like me?” I ask.
“What’s there not to like about you? I’m coming back.”
I’m quite shocked. Isn’t she a devoted Christian? How did she
even go to a liquor store? My word, God is goingto punish
me.
She comes back with the bottle and a glass of red wine
already poured. But she’s holding its bowl, not stem. I don’t
like my wine held like that, her fingerprints are all around
the glass now.
I pick another glass, no offense but she should’ve let mepour it
for myself.
“No, I already…” she says.
“You can have that one, God doesn’t say don’t drink.
Phuza kodwa ungadakwa.” I take the bottle and pour
mine, then raise it for a toast.
“I don’t drink but cheers,” she clicks on my glass and puts
it down.
She’s not bad as I thought, this ended with a good glassof
wine.
-
-
-
I’m a bit tipsy and sad. I have no choice but to tell Zola what
kind of a man she’s dating. We can’t have a rapist around us.
We are in Thobile’s house, I think he broughtme here instead
of his house because I wasn’t comfortable in his house when
he took me there.
“Your uncle is really trying to get to me,” I randomly thinkout
loud.
He looks at me with a slight frown, “Where is this coming
from?”
“It’s just making sense in my head now. I need to refundhim
his money,” I say.
“He’s not petty,” he defends him.
Are my ears deceiving me?
“So you’re on his side now?” I ask.
“No, but I know him, he’s my uncle. I’m not saying he’s
wealthy but he’s definitely even forgotten that he once
transferred some cents to you. He doesn’t care about the
situation, he wasn’t even sorry about it when I
confronted him,” he says.
“If you say so.” I’m not resting this case before I get my
cousin out of that relationship.
He lifts me off the couch and pulls my arms up to his
shoulders.
“You were great today,” he says.
“So you expected me to be dramatic and ruin the dinner?”
I’m quite offended because I’m normally a wellbehaved
young girl.
“I did and you proved me wrong, thank you.” He links his
forehead on mine and takes a deep breath.
“You know Nalenhle, I think you’re a blessing from myfather.
The last couple of weeks could’ve been hard, Ilost an
important person in my life, my last biological parent.
Meeting you, longing for your attention and getting addicted
to your presence, has helped me go
through grief. I thank you for that and I hope this is going
somewhere.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” I lift my hands to his face. Helost
his parent but didn’t shave. I’m not complaining
though, his beard makes him look mature.
“Can I come to your bed? I’m scared of sleeping alone.”I roll
my eyes, “You need a new book of tricks.”
I knew we would share a bed, we are together but notreally
together-together.
-
-
-
I forgot my working boots in the house, so I asked Nzalo to
bring me here so that I can grab them and proceed to work.
Our undefined relationship is going well but this is one time
that I leave a huge space for disappointment in a relationship.
I’m not in with both feet; I have one in andone out.
Oh shit, Mr X is here.
“Your uncle!” I let out a sigh.
“Uze ekhweni, nami ngize ekhweni.” He’s joking about it.
I don’t want his uncle to be with Zola, this time I have a
valid reason. But I will respect MaMkhwanazi’s wishes and
not say anything about his past.
I kiss him and get out of the car. I don’t know if I’m going to
keep quiet and not say anything. I want to refund him his
money, maybe he will leave us alone.
I pass the sauve silver Urban Cruiser parked in front ofthe
door. Is Mr X moving in? Should I move out?
I walk in to Zola lying on the couch and reading a book.
“Where is he?” I ask.
She lifts her head up and looks at me confused. “Who?”“Mr
X,” I say.
“He’s at work.”
“But his car is outside.”
“I’m using it.”
“What????”
“He gave it to me.”
Oh no, this is bad.
“You have to give it back.”
She frowns, then laughs. “Mzala, no. Are you crazy?”“He’s not
what you think he is,” I say.
“Says who? MaMkhwanazi. Oh, please. Do you need alift?”
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 18
ZOLA

I know it’s wrong to question the victim and this is a

sensitive matter to discuss with Nale. She’s not reasoning
intelligently, her emotions are high. I don’t know
MaMkhwanazi, I have only met her once. But I know
Xolani, I have received nothing but respect fromhim. I find
it hard to believe MaMkhwanazi’s sexual abuse
allegations.
“You can be with him but he can’t come here,” Nalesays.
We’ve been arguing for the past five minutes. I don’t see
things the way she does, vice versa.
“Let’s say she said that about Nzalo, would you have
concluded that he did it without hearing his side of the
story?” I ask.
“Nzalo is not a rapist,” she says.
Again, not trying to see the point I’m making.
“We share the same house, I don’t see how it’s going tobe
possible for me not to bring my boyfriend around.” I don’t
have a problem with Nzalo coming here beside his
differences with Xolani. Why must she have a problem with
Xolani based on his past with MaMkhwanazi?
“Not when I’m around, that’s all I ask.” She ties herboots
and leaves.

A few minutes later I hear the car driving off. I go to the door
and close it. Then I take a deep breath. I just got ina
relationship with this man. He did say he’s not perfectand I
must prepare myself for surprises. But he didn’t mean sexual
abuse. No, that’s not possible.
My phone! I need to call him and find out his exact
location.
His phone is going through but unanswered for a while.
When he finally answers I ask right away. “Where areyou,
Xolani?”
“I’m in the casino. Is everything okay?” he asks. “We
need to talk,” I say.
“Okay. Umh, should I come over?”
“No, I’m coming,” I say.
“I will see you when you get here.”
I probably shouldn’t be taking things the way I am because
Nale hates it when she tells me something and I go confront
the person about it. But I can’t go another hour without
hearing what he has to say for himself. I don’t believe
MaMkhwanazi, I think she just wanted Naleto hate him and
found a good spot to hit. But I’m not going to say he didn’t do
it until he gives me his word.
I didn’t even change, I got in the car and forgot all aboutmy
driving fright. This is my first time driving in years, I didn’t
even think I’d remember how to do it. But here I am, driving
from Gandhi’s Hill to Central like a maniac. Ionly realize now
that I’m wearing rhino onesies; I was about to go to bed and
take a nap because it’s a bit coldtoday. As embarrassing as
this is, I climb out of the car praying I don’t bump into
anyone I know.
I know my way around, I head to his his office at the back
with my head lowered. The door is open, I don’teven knock. I
walk in, he’s sitting behind his desk.
He stands up as soon as his eyes meet mine.
“I’ve been so worried. Is everything okay?” He’s lookingat
the thing I’m wearing and getting even more worried.
“I’m sorry to get you worried.” I don’t want to come off asif
I’m accusing him or believing what is being said about him.
“MaMkhwanazi made a few allegations to Nale about you
that got me worried.”
He undoes his top button, stressing in advance.
“What did she say about me?”
“That you are a rapist, you used to sexually abuse her.”
“Okay. Do you need something to drink?” He opens
another button and walks out without waiting for my
answer.
I take a deep breath and sit on his chair. I don’t think that
went well, he’s upset. It’s sad because whatever he saysto
Nale it will be his word against MaMkhwanazi’s and I already
know which side she will sympathize with. I
didn’t want the Hadebe matters to come between us butit’s
going to create a lot of issues if she bans Xolani fromthe
house and expect me to welcome Nzalo with a smileon my
face. If Xolani can’t come around, neither can Nzalo. We will
keep our relationships away from our living space.

He comes back almost ten minutes later with a can ofcold

drink and glass. He’s buttoned up his shirt.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“No, I’m not okay. But nothing can put me down,” hesays.
“So did you do it?” I need to hear it coming from his
mouth.
“If at any point she felt sexually abused she could’ve toldme. I
have never forced myself on anyone. I hate that she said this
to someone from your family, that’s taking
things too far.”
“Nale is now scared of you. My aunt was raped, that’s how
Nale was conceived, so this whole thing triggeredher and
she doesn’t even want me to bring you to the house,” I
say.
“That’s fine, I will keep my distance,” he says.
It breaks my heart. I wish there can be something we can
do but he can’t react to emotions while the investigation is
ongoing. We can only hope she’s not going around saying
this to other people because it willruin his reputation.
“Is there anything new about the Mdlunges?” I ask.
“Nothing solid yet. But they’ve been cautioned, they removed
their online pictures and the kid disabled her
Facebook account. I’m waiting for more information,” hesays.
“Only if you can get pictures of her meeting up with themor
get bank transactions of her transferring them the money. I
think convincing Nzalo is not going to be easy, surely she’s
told them a lot of things about you.” It would’ve been easier
if Nale was on his side but now she’s likely not to believe
anything that comes from his mouth.
“We’ll see as time goes.” He scratches his head andwalks
towards the window.
I can tell that he’s still angry but holding it back.
“I’m sorry I just came like this, dressed like this and
embarrassed you.”
He looks back, “No, no, you look good.”
“Come on, I came all the way in onesies. I hope nobodyis
outside to see me coming out like a big rhino bear,” I say.
“I can get you a dress, there’s a factory shop across thestreet,”
he says.
“Really? That would be amazing.” I honestly don’t wantto
be in public looking indecent, people snap pictures and
create memes that will stay on the internet forever.
He takes his wallet, kisses my cheek and goes.
I have time to snoop around his office, there’s nothing
suspicious expect a pack of condoms in the bottom drawer.
It’s still sealed but this paints a different picture.He’s had
women in his office for sex. This breaks my heart, he could’ve
waited for me.
The door opens, I push the drawer and step away.“Hi,”
It’s not him, thank God.
“Hey.” I’m still embarrassed though.
He’s staring at me, probably asking himself who I amand why
I’m dressed like this in the office.
“Xolani went to the shop,” I say.
“Oh, thank you. Can I drop this key here? I’m Mzi, I work
here.”
“Yeah, sure,” I say.
He drops it on the desk and quickly walks out. Let me
drink my Coke and sit in one place.

Xolani comes back, I’m eager to see the dress he picked. He

didn’t even ask my size before leaving. He puts the packet
on the desk. I open and see colour red.Red is not my
favourite color, I associate it with blood.
“It’s cute, thank you,” I say lifting it up.
It’s short and backless, I didn’t expect him to choose amini
dress as a Zulu man.
“Did you choose this?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says.
“Hhayi-bo.” Let me put it on and see how it fits.
It’s a bit uncomfortable taking my onesies off while he’s
watching. We spent the night together but we both keptour
clothes on. He gave me a space to shower and dress up
before taking his turn.
“You’re short,” he says.
A very random statement.
“I’m not that short, especially if you’re not comparing meto
anyone.” I’m shorter than Nale, my brother is also growing
taller than me. But there are people somewherein the world
that I’m taller to.
The dress fits. It’s more revealing than I would’vepreferred but
I was taught not to criticize gifts.
“Thank you my love,” I hug him and give him a full view.
“It’s really beautiful on you, come here.” He pulls me tohis
chest.
He’s calm now, there’s a relaxed look on his face.“I
don’t want you to get involved in anything that
concerns the Hadebes. I will give you updates about the
investigation but I don’t want that to sit on your shoulders. I
don’t want to change you, I want you to staywith this
beautiful soul.”
I nod, “I hear you.”
“So please Nokuzola, close your ears and pay no
attention to whatever my family is saying about me.
Don’t let that stuff worry you,” he says.
“If it involves my cousin it involves me too,” I say.
“It’s going to divide you and her if you look at it that way.I
don’t want you two to choose sides and be against each
other, I only want you against me.”
I’m confused. “You want us to fight?”
He finally smiles.
“Against me, Nokuzola.” He wraps his arms around my
waist, then drops his other hand lower to touch my butt.
Now I get it.
This is my time to ask
“You have a pack of condoms in your drawer. Why?”
He didn’t expect that. Did he think I will just sit and not
look around?
“What happens in this office?” I ask.
“I’ve been single most of the times, so I wasn’t tied to
anyone and I may have invited people over in the past,”he
says.
“You could’ve just waited for me.” I don’t even want to
think that he’s looked at other women the way he looksat
me. That’s illegal.
He smiles, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I stand on my toes to kiss his lips.
He lifts me up, I’m really short compared to him. He
turns around and puts me on top of his desk, then we kiss
properly.
He pulls back, squeezes my boob and breathes out
heavily next to my neck. “I’m in love with you Zola. I
want you to be in my world, only mine.”
I’ve heard, I will focus more on him and I.
“Can I get another kiss?” he asks.
I answer on his lips. He smells good, his lips are full andeasy
to smooch on. This kiss lingers longer and gets more tense.
His hands begin to run and squeeze sensitive parts of my
body.
“Xolani,” I gently push him off.
“Yes?” His voice rumbles before he opens his eyes.I just
wanted him to get back to his senses.
“Fuck!” He moves his hand off my waist and untucks hisshirt
from his trouser. I can see that I’ve provoked sleeping
members.
“Ubaba wakho unolaka kakhulu yini?” he asks.
“Yeah, too much. Plus he has a spear and a knobkirriewith a
large knob.”
“I have medical aid,” he says.
“It won’t raise you when you’re dead, my father kills.” Iget
off the table and pull down the mini dress I’m wearing. I
think it’s also the cause of this arising
situation. He’s ogling at me with a seductive smile. I lovehim,
my body reacted to his contact as well, but not
today. And I wouldn’t want our first time to be in hisoffice.
“So you’re running away now?”
“No, I was about to leave,” I say.
He chuckles, “Okay, but one day is one day.”
“Have a productive day Mr Hadebe and thanks for the dress.”
I blow him a kiss and walk out. At least now I canwalk with my
head held up high. Oh shucks, I forgot my onesie inside.
But I’m not going back, I might not be able to stop thingsthe
second time.
-
-
-

I got ready for my shift a while ago, I’ve been waiting forNale
to come back so that we can conclude on our earlier
conversation. She just got back, she looks tired. I’m sure
waking up from a man’s place doesn’t make your day at
work easy. I mean, she probably ‘worked’ allnight in bed and
then woke up and went to another work.
“The car is still here,” she says.
“Where would it go? I told you that I’m going to keep it
and my relationship. How was your day?” I ask.
“I was tired and MaKhoza was annoying to the power of2!”
She throws her bag down and lies on the couch.
“But I feel like she likes you, hence you never suffershort
times like everyone else,” I say.
“I used to think to so, but no she doesn’t like me. I’m only
liked by Nzalo.” She’s in love. I’m also in love, butwe can’t
even celebrate that.
“I talked to Xolani,” I say.
She raises her up, “About what?”
“The rape allegations,” I say.
“I didn’t ask you to tell him. Ah, you always do this Zola.”
“He’s my boyfriend, I had to know the truth.” I was goingto
react to it, she also reacted and came to me after hearing it.
“So directly asking him was your answer? Did you thinkhe
was going to admit it if he did it?”
“He didn’t do it,” I say firmly.
“That’s not the point right now. You shouldn’t have ran tohim
with what I told you I heard. I was warning you, you could’ve
looked for the truth any other way.”
Okay, I’m not here for the rising temper.I
have to leave.
“Xolani said he will keep his distance, tell Nzalo to dothe
same,” I say.
“What did Nzalo do?” she asks.
“You don’t want Xolani around, I also don’t want Nzalo
around. It’s simple, both of them must stay away from our
living space,” I say.
“You’re being petty, Nzalo hasn’t been accused of rape or
any crime.”
“That’s the house rule ke, bye!” I have to go before we get
into a fight.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 19
NALENHLE

For me there’s no better day at work but today was

tolerable. I even sat with MaKhoza during lunch breakand
had a chat. I didn’t know her husband passed on two weeks
after she got married. She has a son who’smy age that she
couldn’t stop praising. Unlike me, theboy has graduated
university and he's currently in NW
looking for a job. She’s gained my respect, I hold single
mothers at a high value.
Nzalo said he’d be fetching me from work. I don’t thinkhe
can go a day without seeing me. I haven’t told him that
he’s banned from the house yet. Zola and I have been
avoiding each other. I leave for work too early to
avoid her and she comes back from her shift too late to
avoid me. In all this I’m concerned about my uncle. His
prophesy is coming to life, we are starting not to get
along.

I walk out of the gate with my eyes on Whatsapp, tryingto

find out how far he is. Only to raise my eyes to him
talking to Zanele, our snack seller who has a shelteroutside
the gate.
“Hey, come here,” he says to me.
I make my way there. Zanele hasn’t stopped smiling athim.
“Oh, it’s you Nale,” she says.
“What did I do?” I don’t trust Nzalo, he could’ve lied
about me to her.
“You’re the lucky lady,” she says.
"No, he is the lucky man. It’s not the other way around,” Isay.
“Okay. Can you buy me a hotdog and Coke?”
I look at him, shocked to the core. I never thought he’s a
gold-digger. He's a wolf under a sheep skin.
“With my own money?” I ask, hoping he’s going to proveme
wrong.
“Yes,” he says.
How shameless are men of today, child of Zion!“How
much will it be?” I ask Zanele.
“R15 for hotdog and R12 Coke,” she says.
Calculation time!
R15 plus R12….that’s R200.No, I can’t.
“Substitute Coke with Fru-Cool, how much?”
“Fru-Cool is R3, so it’s R18,” she says.
I turn to him, “Take any flavor that you want.”“For
real?” He laughs out loud.
I open my bag and take out R20. Lord, it feels like I’m about
to have a stroke. Zanele takes my R20 and givesme back R2
coin as change. I need an asthma inhaler!
“Thank you sisi,” he says to Zanele, they’re both
laughing.

We go to the car. Today he’s driving a BMW 8 Series,this is a

ride I want when we go out but he’s always
using his father’s cars. My bosses are going to think I’vemade
it in life and start giving me short times, I didn’t need this
today.
“This car is cool, you should’ve came with it the otherday
when I looked nice,” I say.
“You always look nice.” He tears the top of his Fru-Cool with
his teeth and unwraps the hotdog. “Can I eat first?”he asks.
“Yeah, sure.”
I’m a proud breadwinner and probably the first woman to
ever make a guy in a BMW suck icy Fru-Cool with a
hotdog. It’s definitely not easy to have a mouth to feed, I
feel like a single mother and single father at the same
time.
“Is it nice?” I ask.
He laughs as I expected.
“Yes, thank you queen,” he says.
“Enjoy,” I say and turn my camera on to take selfies.
Even though I’m in a work uniform and ugly, I can’t let
this opportunity of being in this car pass me by. Nzalo isnot a
rich man’s son in mind, tomorrow he might pull up in a
tipper truck.
-
-
-

He’s done, I have to tell him about the new house rules
because today I’m likely to find Zola still in the house-
I'm early. I still think it’s petty for Zola to ban him from
the house just because I did the same to Xolani. I had a
reason, she has none. I wouldn’t put anything past Mr X,he’s
the same man that was dumped over 100 years ago and still
gunning for his ex’s downfall. That says a lot about his
character. If someone dumped me, moved on with someone
close to me and then I blew up, became successful in front of
them, I’d be the happiest woman alive. I'd be arriving in my
Maybach in family meetings and eating oysters in the living
room.
“You can’t come to the house anymore,” I say.
“Why not? Do you have a man there?” he asks.
“No, we have new house rules,” I say.
He laughs, “You can’t be serious. I’m still going to pop in and
check if there’s any ntshebe trying to take you away from
me.”
“I’m serious Nzalo,” I say.
“Okay mam,” he says.
It’s easy because he’s got his own place, we will stillhang out
together.
He’s in a delightful mood, he’s dancing with his head tothe
music. It must be nice exploiting women for their money. We
are not safe as women.

He stops the car, takes out the keys and then climbs outto
open my door. I hope he hasn’t forgotten what I told him
just a few minutes ago.
“Zola is still home,” he says. “Yeah,
but where are you going?”
“Just seeing you off, don’t worry I won’t come with you.”
“Good!” I kiss him and bid goodbye.
Zola is still home, we can’t avoid each other forever.
Soon it will be Thami’s birthday and we’ll have to go
home together.
I walk in, she’s still making her lunchbox.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hi,” she says.
“How was your day?”
“Good. Yours?”
“Better than other days.”
Then silence…
We are in a very bad place and it’s not even necessary.
I walk away and hear a knock behind me. I look back and
stop dead on my tracks. I told him he can’t come here
anymore.
“Zowie Zee!” he’s walking in.
Zola looks at me, inquisitively. God, I told him not tocome.
“Hey Nzalo,” she says. “Are
you good?” he asks. “Yeah,
I’m fine,” she says.
I’m glaring at him and he’s making sure not to turn hiseyes my
way.
“Your cousin has banned me from this house. What’s going
on?”He’s fueling the situation, now Zola will think Itold him
she said he mustn’t come here anymore whereas I didn’t
even bring her up because I would’ve
then needed to explain how it came to that point.
“What did she tell you?” she asks.
“That I can’t come here anymore,” he says.
“Well, Xolani can’t come either. Nale said she doesn’t want
him around so I told her not to bring you around aswell,” she
says.
He finally turns his eyes to me. “What’s going on?”“Nothing,” I
shrug.
“Are two okay?”
Zola gives me a stare, I hold it.
“Fine,” she says and turns to him. “Your mother told herthat
Xolani raped her back in the days, so she is mad.”
“What???” His brows furrow.
I didn’t say anything to anyone about this except Zola
because we tell each other everything…used to.
MaMkhwanazi said she doesn’t want Nzalo to know because
it will ruin his relationship with Xolani forever and I was
trying to respect that. But Zola with her running mouth has
told more than one person already.
“Nalenhle explain,” he says, evidently upset.
“Zola told me that MaMkhwanazi is Mr X’s ex-girlfriendwho
dumped him for his brother. So when she started accusing me
of being with you for the wrong reasons Ibrought that up and
she explained to me what really happened between her and
Mr X.”
“When were they together?” He’s shocked, I doubt thisis
something he’s ever suspected.
“Before your father,” I say.
“That was almost 10 years ago, why would he go around
telling people that a married woman was his ex? What is the
end goal?”
I look at Zola, she’s looking at me, we are both surprised by
the angle his anger is taking. I thought he’d be mad
that his beloved stepmother jumped from his uncle to his
father, but no.
“He had to explain why he hired me to cry at the funeral to
Zola, right? So he was just saying how the whole
thing started,” I say.
“Is that why he’s mad? Does he want her back?”Umh,
not a good question.
“No,” Zola says. “He was betrayed by your stepmother and his
brother. It’s not that he’s bitter about her leavinghim, but
ending up with his brother and fuelling him to
turn against him and using his ideas to grow their
businesses.”
“He could’ve taken them to court. The last thing
babomncane is going to do is convincing me that he’s the
victim because he’s never acted like one. You can’tbe the
drama and a victim at the same time. He’s the one hiring
side-chicks and telling people that he’s her ex-boyfriend.”
“I think you’re too angry and not even trying to
understand where he’s coming from,” Zola.
I think I will stand this out and let the future aunt and
nephew argue it out. I’m too young for izindaba zemizi
yabantu.
“Zola, I will never say anything negative about any member of
my family. I don’t get along with him but I willnever talk shit
about him to outsiders.”
“Maybe I’m an outsider that listens to him better than his
family,” Zola says.
“That’s okay, good for him. But he can keep MaMkhwanazi
out of it. She’s in her house, minding her own business and
not bothering him with anything.” He’salways going to protect
his stepmother. I’m even surprised myself that he missed the
part where MaMkhwanazi stabbed his uncle in the back,
together with his father.
“Minding her own business by spreading lies about him
calling him a rapist? Do you know how damaging those
accusations are? His clubs and casino could close down.
Even Nale, the ordinary Nale, has canceled him.What would
happen if this goes viral?”
She’s got a point but she’s very stupid for calling meordinary
Nale. I’m not ordinary, her unlaid edges on those braids are
ordinary.
“If he didn’t go around calling himself his ex, she
wouldn’t have said that," Nzalo.
“So that makes it okay?” she asks.
He sighs, “Look, I’m not saying it’s okay because I don’t think
he’s a rapist. But he needs to let it go, she was probably in
her early 30s, didn’t know any better and shechanged. If
babomncane has any legal grievances he
must let the law handle it. I don’t know anything aboutthat, I
wasn’t there.”
“I think the problem is that you guys never acknowledge
anything being done to him. But I’m not his spokesperson, I
was just explaining the situation
between Nale and I. However I will advise you to just
have a chat with him, just one chat.” She really cares
about Xolani.
“It never end well but for you I will see if I can see him
some time this week,” he says.
Well, at least one positive thing will come out of this. “But
I’m not going to stop coming here though,” he says.Zola
laughs, “You’re breaking the rules.”
“I’m your future nephew, you can’t use children in your
fights.” He comes to me, Zola has packed her lunch bag. I
hope she understands that he trespassed, I didn’t invite him
in.
“I have to go guys. Whatever happens, don’t do it on the
couch,” she walks out.

He turns his eyes to me. Trouble is that you?

“Why didn’t you tell me about what MaMkhwanazi saidto
you at dinner?” he asks.
Here we go!
“We talked and ended up understanding each other, so Ididn’t
see any need,” I say.
“Why did you tell Zola if you didn’t see any need? If my
mother says something that doesn’t sit well with you I’d
expect you to inform me and let me handle it.”
“But it was already handled,” I say.
“No, Nale. I took you there, I was supposed to know before
you came back to Zola. This doesn’t sit well withme. Do you
even like me?”
Is he being serious? I emptied my bag for him not solong.
“Do you think I go around buying men hotdogs and
Coke?”
“It wasn’t Coke,” he says.
“That’s not the point. I have never fed any man before you. I
have never visited their late mother’s house, cooked and went
to a homeless shelter to honor their mother’s memory. I don’t
sleep over and cuddle at any man’s house all night and wake
up the next morning andgo to work.”
“But why can’t we be official?” he asks.“We
are not?” I ask.
He smiles, “Are we?”
“But I asked you, are we not?”
“We are, that’s why I want you to be honest with me.” He
wraps his arms around me and takes a deep sigh. “Do you
promise that this is never going to happen again?”
I really don’t like making empty promises.
He raises his eyebrow, “Nalenhle!”
“I don’t feel like you’d have my back anyway, you love
MaMkhwanazi,” I say.
“But I love you as well. I welcomed her to the family
without questioning her character, why would she
question your character? And I don’t understand why she
spoke about babomncane to you the way she did.We are
going to talk about it but my main priority rightnow is
you.”
“Because I feed you?” I ask.
“Will I ever hear the end of it? Let me go before you tell all
your neighbors that I’m using you for your money,” hesays.
“Are you?” I can't be too sure, men are wired differentlythese
days.
He laughs out loud. “I will see you later. Don’t cook, I willbring
you food, to make up for the millions I ate.”
“You, my friend, you’re a blessing!” God knows how unwilling
I am to stand in the kitchen and cook. It’s onlyfair that he
repays me for all that I did for him.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 20

He wanted to see MaMkhwanazi first. He wanted to findout

why she made Nale uncomfortable. If she had any questions
she could’ve asked in front of him, not wait
until he went to fix the geyser. He’s disappointed because
she was the one pushing for the dinner to happen. Nale
didn’t want to go but agreed because she respected him.
Whether they ironed it out or not, he doesn’t appreciate his
mother going behind his back to raise opinions about his
partner. Yes, partner. This will make him not trust his family
with Nale in the future, which is the last thing he wants. He
doesn’t want Nale toonly visit his biological mother’s house,
in his heart both his biological mother and stepmother are
equal. It needsto be addressed.

But he chose to see his estranged uncle first. He’s comeright

to his house after dinner with Nale. He needs to
find out why they have so many secrets in this family.Him
and MaMkhwanazi ex lovers, really?
He calls and asks his uncle to open the gate. He doesn’tcome
here, not unless there’s really a need to. Unlike Msindisi who
has no relationship at all with their uncle, he just doesn’t get
along with him but they have each other’s contacts and talk
here and there.

Xolani already has a drink in his hand. It’s hardly ever good
news when his nephew just shows up. Nzalo walksright up
until he’s in front of the door, then they exchange formal
greetings.
“You should’ve told me that you’re coming, I would’vetold
Joy to cook something,” he says.
“Ay babomncane, are you trying to tell me that there’s no
food here?” Nzalo follows him inside. He’s not reallyhungry,
just keeping the conversation going.
“I have frozen meals,” he says.
“Maybe you need to get married because Aunt Joy can’tcook
for you forever and eating out everyday is not healthy,” –
Nzalo.
“Soon boy,” he says.
Nzalo clears his throat, “Speaking about marriage related
matters, babomncane I’m here to complainagain.”
He pours a shot of whisky and passes it to Nzalo. “Thisis the
coffee of this house.”
“No thanks, I will pass.” Nzalo’s eyes squint as he looksat the
bottle his uncle is sealing back. “Balvenie?
Babomncane are you that financially free that you’d
spend half hundred grands on a bottle?”
“It was a gift from a colleague. You’re not here to complain
about my whisky, right?” He pulls the chair andsits, wearing an
inquisitive look on his face.
Nzalo does the same; he sits. “No, I’m not here for
whisky.”
“Let’s hear what you are here to grieve about then,” hesays.
“You dated my mother?” Nzalo asks.
He takes a deep breath and nods, “Yeah, beforeSbusiso.”
“How did that happen?” – Nzalo.
“We were together for a long time. Planned our future
together, hustled together and loved each other. Or so I
thought, then life happened,” he says.
“Why did you break up?” Nzalo.
“We didn’t,” he breaks a chuckle. “She moved on, I gotaware
of it coming back from the workshop I had attended in
Joburg. She moved on to your father.”
“Did dad know about your relationship?”
“He did,” he says.
“Oh!” That shot he refused…he needs it.
He reaches for it in front of his uncle and gulps it down.

All along he thought their rivalry was caused by the

inheritance that his father solely took. But no, his
beloved stepmother was in the middle of it. “Did you
abuse her?”
“Do you think I did?” Xolani asks.
“No,” he says.
That’s all he needs, MaMkhwanazi can say whatever she
wants as long as people still believe in the man that he is
without a shade of doubt.
“Was the Hadebe Freights your idea?” Nzalo asks.
“Your father was never into transportation and warehousing.
But I’m over it, he did a good thing by equally dividing his
estate between all his children, at
least you and your siblings don’t have yogo through
what him and I went through,” he says.
“Yeah but I want you to backtrack a bit. Did ncanebackstab
you?”
Xolani laughs, “Stabbed in the back? No, she ruined mylife.”
“I didn’t know that.” He feels guilty, at the end of the day this
is his uncle and the only male figure they have in thefamily.
Despite how broken their relationship is, he will handle their
marriage matters in the future and conduct all the
ceremonies they need to have in the family.
“I feel like we need to have a family meeting and just lay
everything in the open because I end up caught in
between your feuds, not even knowing what they’re truly
about. You can say what you want for compensation, I will
make it happen.”
Xolani looks at him for a solid minute, his eyes tensely on
his face that almost looks like his. “You will make it
happen?” he asks.
“Yeah…do you want shares?” Nzalo.
“I want Phindile Mkhwanazi out of your lives,” he says.
“You’re kidding, right?”- Nzalo.
He chuckles, then pulls a straight face. “No, I’m not.”
“She’s our mother, where do you expect her to go?” “To
hell where she belongs,” he says.
“I’m talking about making peace babomncane, you’re
taking things too far. Are you going to come to the
meeting if I arrange one?”
“Yes, I will come with Nokuzola,” he says.
Nzalo finally smiles. His uncle is something else, he stillcan’t
wrap his head around their relationship.
“Awusho babomncane, what do you think you’re doing?Zola is
even younger than me, your old brother’s first born,” he asks.
“Love knows no age,” Xolani says.
“But people know age, and you’re old. What if I need you to
go and represent me to the Thabethes in future?You won’t
go because you’re their son-in-law as well?”
“Your jokes are not funny. Text me with your meetingdetails
early and make sure your mother behaves herself,” he says.
“No problem. I have to get going.” Nzalo stands up,
Xolani walks him out of the door and they bid goodbye.

Maybe this is the first time in over two years that they
talk and separate without exchanging any harsh words.
Nzalo is overprotective of MaMkhwanazi, that’s onething he
learned to understand and live with. Telling
them that MaMkhwanazi might have been behind their
biological mother’s death will shatter their world, but when
the time comes, he will do it. MaMkhwanazi knowsthat he’s
got people investigating Mazwi’s family, but what she
doesn’t know is that one of his people have
befriended the fiance. The closer she gets to the fiance
the better, she will loosen up and let her in on everything
that’s happening in her and daughter’s life.
-
-
-
Nzalo’s next stop is home. It’s after dinner, Msindisi and
MaMkhwanazi are watching TV. They didn’t expect himto
pass by so late. He hugs MaMkhwanazi and kisses her cheek,
as usual. Then he pushes Msindisi’s shoulder and sits next to
him.
“Why are you here?” Msindisi asks.
“I’m in my parents’ house, I don’t need a reason,” hesays.
“We don’t have relationship advices.” Msindisi stands upand
goes to his room. He knows that whatever Nzalo came for, it
doesn’t concern him.

“Should I dish for you?” MaMkhwanazi asks.

“No, I already had dinner,” Nzalo says. “Okay.
You don’t look okay, what’s wrong?” “What did
you say to Nale?” he asks.
“We talked about a lot of things. Care to be specific?”“About
babomncane?”
MaMkhwanazi puts religion aside and curses. “Fuck! Didshe
come to you with everything?”
“No but I found out because there was a major drift
between her and her cousin. I’m not saying you’re lying,
nevertheless I wouldn’t expect you to open up to Nalenhle
about such thing. Given the fact that I told youabout it and
shared all my fears.” He doesn’t want Nale triggered. Hell,
he hasn’t even attempted any sexual advances on her
because he’s still not sure how to navigate his way around
the issue. He doesn’t know how she feels or reacts to sex.
“I know but in that moment I needed to shed some light
about my situation with your uncle,” MaMkhwanazi says.
“To Nalenhle, ncane? As your kids we know nothing about
the situation but you’re determined to shed light toNale,
someone you’ve only talked to once?”
MaMkhwanazi takes a deep breath, looking remorseful. “I
shouldn’t have, I just felt cornered and ashamed of myself. I
didn’t want anyone to find out about Xolani and
I. It puts me in a bad light, like I jumped from Xolani tohis
brother.”
“But isn’t that what you did?” Nzalo.
Her eyes widen. “No. I had no control over anything that
happened.”
“Ncane be honest. Whose idea was it to start the
Hadebe Freights?”
“Come on now, how would I know who first thoughtabout
logistics business in this wide world?”
“I mean in the family,” he says.
“They both came up with the idea, on different times. The
difference was that your father already had the empty
emporium, he turned it over for a warehousing business.
And he had funds to put in the business. Onthe other hand
your uncle just had a lousy idea that hescribbled down in
the backroom he was renting.”
“He claims that everything was his idea and you took it
to my father, started Hadebe Freights and robbed him ofhis
dreams,” Nzalo says.
“That’s a lie. Nothing is stopping him from starting a similar
company, instead he’s opening strip clubs and
taverns. Is that still my fault?” She’s getting worked up.
“No, but you have to take some sort of responsibility. We
can’t afford to be divided like this. We only have him now. In
a year or so, we will need him to conduct dad’s ceremonies,”
Nzalo says.
“I’m not going to kiss his whatever just because my husband
is dead. If we stole his ideas why wasn’t this issue raised
when your father was still alive? Is it because I’m a widow
now, I can’t fight for myself? Is thatwhy my name is being
tarnished?” Tears flow down.
Nzalo gets up and goes to sit next to her. He didn’tmean to
make her cry.
“That’s not what I’m doing, neither is it what he’s doing. Ithink
this whole thing has gotten out of hand, that’s why we must
sit down as a family and talk. Do you agree?”
“If it’s going to get everyone off my back, yes,” she says.
He sighs with relief, still rubbing her back as more tearsflow
down.
“Is tomorrow okay?” he asks.
MaMkhwanazi nods. She sniffs some more, this feelslike an
attack. Nzalo shouldn’t have held this conversation with
Xolani in the first place. Now ‘they’ have painted her as a
loose woman to her children.
“I will apologize to Nale. Will she come to the meeting?”she
asks.
Nzalo chuckles, “It’s a family meeting, we only becameofficial
boyfriend and girlfriend today.”
“Well, next time I see her,” she says.
“Umh, I don’t know ncane. I think I will keep her away until I,
myself, have known her in depths,” Nzalo says.
“Just because I told her about being raped? Her motherwas
also a victim, I thought she’d relate to me better than
anyone,” she says.
“I’m not saying your case is not serious, but Nale’s mother
has disabilities. Nale doesn’t even know her
father, it’s a different case that I doubt your story even come
close to. So I will respectfully ask you to never talkabout it to
her again. You can afford therapy, if you needto talk to
someone book a session.”
She’s shocked. Now Xolani has started turning her kids
against her. Or is it that young girl he is now seeing that
makes him think he can reclaim this family and get rid ofher?
She swallows a lump on her throat and nods uneasily.“Okay.”
“Thanks for understanding. I will see you tomorrow,
goodnight.” He kisses her cheek and walks out.

She switches the TV off and goes to her bedroom. Her heart
is sore but she has to prepare for tomorrow eitherway. She
locks the door and empties a bottle of water.
Tomorrow’s dinner needs some fresh tears. She gets a clean
soap container, it’s wide enough for her to use as she cries.
She drops her tears in the container and then pours them in
the bottle. They’re not enough, even
though she no longer feels like crying, she needs tokeep
them coming. So she goes to YouTube and watches
random people’s funerals and cries among
mourners. She needs at least a quarter of the bottle in order
to mix with her stew for tomorrow. Nobody is goingto touch
her crown.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 21

His secret agent, Robyn, asked that they meet up urgently.

Today he’s got a lot on his plate and would have preferred
to stick to his schedule. But nothing evergoes his way, now
he’s driving to X-Lifestyle for this unplanned meeting. There
must be an update, an important one, for her to just disrupt
his day like this. He
paid her to take the fiance on a girl’s trip for them toknow
each other better.

Zola doesn’t have all the details about how far they’ve gone
with this. He pulls up and heads straight to the private
lounge before calling the club manager, telling him to grant
her access to the lounge. He’s known Robyn for a long time,
they’ve worked on other projectsbefore, professionally. But
their relationship didn’t end
there, they have explored certain areas privately too. He’s
not into her, it was all casual and consensually no-string
attached thing. She is undeniable a beautiful woman, very
stylish and confident. It wouldn’t surprise him if she’s
already best friends with the fiance. Robyn goes for what
she wants and gets it.
“X-man,” she says, strutting in her heels.
“I hope this is important,” he says and helps her sit
down.

One of his staff members walks in with two drinks. Justwhat

both of them needed. They thank her, she leaves.
Robyn sits with her legs crossed. “Robyn!”
he doesn’t have a whole day.
“Wait, let me sip first. You will also need a drink after I show
you this.” She’s wasting his time, which is alwaysprecious. But
he waits, he sips her wine and then
carefully reapplies her lipstick.
“MaMkhwanazi is not sponsoring their lifestyle or giving
them anything at all,” finally saying something that matters.
But he’s confused. “So you brought me all the way hereto
tell me that I’ve been wasting my time?”
He wanted MaMkhwanazi involved, he couldn’t wait toget
rid of her. How come she is innocent? He literally has
pictures of her eating out with Mazwi’s fiance.
“Wasting your time? No darling.” She takes out her phone
and scrolls down on it with her manicured fingers.She’s
wearing a proud smile on her face.
“Guess who?” She gives him the phone.
He’s looking at the screenshot taken during a video call.It’s
the fiance on a video call with a man, not MaMkhwanazi.
How does this help him?
“And this?” he asks.
“This is the dead man on a video call, possibly callingfrom
heaven,” Robyn says.
No, it can’t be. He snatches the phone back and looks atthe
picture again.
He stands up, WTF.
Mazwi is alive? Then who died in the cell? That personwas
confirmed as Mazwi.
“He’s been taking care of his family,” Robyn says.“What the
hell?” He still can’t believe it.
All these years they’ve been lied to. Not only by Mazwi’s
family, but the police and prison wardens too.
“Now if Mazwi has a criminal record and a death
certificate that was issued, how does he afford to takecare
of his family and sustain a living wherever he is?”Robyn
asks.
They’re all valid questions but his head is spinning right now,
he can’t think.
“Thank you for bringing this,” he says, still looking at the
picture.
Robyn smiles with pride. She’s done an excellent job,it’s
more than what anyone expected, hopefully her check will
match up.
“Do you need help de-stressing?” She stands up andtakes
a step closer to him.
“Not today Robyn,” he stops her.
She smiles, “Okay no problem. Can I have my phone? Isent
this on your Whatsapp.”
He gives it back and then wipes a droplet of swearrunning
down his temple.
Robyn turns and walks away. “I expect a ping-pingbefore I go
to bed.”
The money he paid for the trip will never be refunded, but
he doesn’t mind. He’s got a big investigation to embark on.
It’s time to get real private investigating experts now. He’s
not just dealing with MaMkhwanazi alone, a lot more people
were paid for this. It’s going to
be bad, really bad. People’s lives will turn upside down,
especially Thobile’s children’s lives.
He sends Zola a text: I NEED YOU
-
-
-

He went on with his day even though his brain wasn’t as

productive. Zola read his text and didn’t reply, he took
that as a sign that she’s busy. It’s Friday today, hopefully
tomorrow they will have some time together. He’s going
home to take a shower and then head to his brother’s house,
to have that family meeting with the family. He will be alone
since Zola can’t come. All he wants is just
for it to be over and done with. He will let MaMkhwanazi
think he’s let everything go so that she will put her guard
down. All along she’s known that Thobile’s killer is alive, she’s
been looking at her children in the eyes and crying with them
as if she cares about their mother’s justice. It’s going to be
very sweet watching her go to jail, not only
that but her seeing the children she’s claimed as her own
look at her with hatred. Knowing how Nzalo is, herlife will be
a living hell once the truth comes out.

He’s driving towards his gate, then he sees Zola parked right
outside. Only God knows how long she’s been here. Maybe
since he sent her the text. He opens the gate and they both
drive in. He didn’t expect her to show
up, when he said he needed her he expected a comfortcall.
“Are you okay?” She’s coming out of the car.
She loves her lengthy dresses and flat sandals. For surehe
needs to take her to the salon soon.
“Xolani!” her voice raises as she taps her hand twice onhis
arm.
He smiles, “I’m fine makoti. What are you doing here?” “It
sounded like you need me,” she’s blushing.
“Well, I didn’t mean to disturb you from your day. I only
needed a phone call but I’m happy to see you.” He holdsher
hand and they go inside the house.
He takes his jacket off and sits. Zola gets a juice fromthe
fridge and pours two glasses. Then they sit on the
couch, she’s looking at him curiously. Coming here shethought
something bad had happened to him.
“Mazwi is alive,” he says.
“Mazwi the killer?” She’s confused.
“Yeah, he never died,” he says.
“That’s so twisted and dangerous. Who did they bury? How
did he escape and where has he been living all thistime?”
“I will find out soon,” he promises.
Zola takes a deep breath, this is not easy to digest.
“How do you feel about this whole thing?”
“It’s going to ruin Thobile’s children’s lives forever,” hesays.
“Definitely. When are you going to tell Msindisi andNzalo?”
“Once I catch him,” he says.
“Do you think you will? He’s obviously working with
masterminds.”
“I will,” he says without any doubt. No matter who’s sitting
at the top holding the ropes, he will climb and getthere.
Mazwi will face the law, together with MaMkhwanazi.
“Do you think your brother was involved?” Zola asks.“Sbusiso?
No.” They didn’t get along, but no.
He wouldn’t have organized to kill his own wife, they had
children together.
Zola gives him a look but chooses not to push it any
further. He’s a level headed man, when he’s alone in hisroom
he will think about it.
“You have a meeting to attend, right?” she asks.“Yeah,
but…” He looks at her.
Zola raises her eyebrow. “What?”
“Didn’t you miss me?” he asks.
She smiles, relieved to see his playful face on. She comes
and sits on his lap, then gives him a kiss that he’s pulling a
face for. His arm wraps around her waist,
he’s really missed her. Coming home to her is the bestthing
that has happened to him today.
“Why are you always hiding your body?” His handsneaks
under her dress, running up to her knee.
“Do you want me to go around in crop tops and shorts?”she
asks.
“Not necessarily, but don’t hide your body from me. I want
to see it.” He inhales sharply, pushing his hand upto her
thighs. “Don’t hide this beautiful body from me, please.”
“I’m not,” she says in no firm protest to what his hand is
doing.
It’s on her panty, looking for a way to slide in and touchher
cookie. His eyes are on her, reading all her reactions. She’s
calm as he touches her. He’s been
patient but there’s only so much a man can keep his zipclose
for.
“Your body is warm,” he comments.
Zola shyly drops her eyes. This is unplanned but she
mentally prepared herself for this occurrence a week
back. His eyes are full of lust and hunger.
“Your love scares me, Nokuzola,” he says.
“How?” Her voice comes out as a low, shaky whisper.
“I’m not used to it. I’m used to 50/50 transactions; giving
what I have for what I don’t have. Waking up to sweet
messages and having someone look out for me the wayyou
do, scares me. Sometimes I read your messages
and feel my heart pounding heavily. Ungenz’ umuntu and
that makes me scared because I don’t ever want tolose it.”
“You won’t lose me,” she says and kisses him on theforehead.
Always assuring him; he finds himself blushing like her.“I love
you,” he says.
Now it’s her turn to blush.
“And I want you…I want this.” He brushes over her mound.
He’s been wanting this for so long. “I know that Ihaven’t
earned any right to be between your legs, but you know I’m
not going anywhere, you can trust me withyour body.”
“I trust you,” she says.
This feels like a dream come true. He turns and puts her on
the couch, then gets on top of her, kissing her like theworld is
about to shut down.
He pulls away, breathing hard and throbbing hard
between his legs. He looks at her, cherishing her natural
beauty. “Are you really mine?”
Zola smiles, “Yeah.”
He lifts her dress up to her hips and pulls down her panty. Is
she really his? He kisses her shaved cookie and then lifts the
dress further up so he can kiss her navel as well. His
connection to her is insane. His wholebody is warm, his
fingers are shaky.
“You have such a beautiful body!” He wants everything out.
He wants to see her in full nakedness. He wants to see all
her perfections and imperfections.
“Get a condom,” she says as he unfastens his belt.
“You don’t trust me one bit.” He chuckles and kisses herlips
before disappearing to the bathroom.
He comes back with condoms and puts them on the side.
He’s been deprived of this body for so long, he hasto give
himself time and appreciate the art in front of him.
“You and I…” he kisses both her firm boobs. “… are going to
spend the evening in our bedroom,” he says.
“What about the family meeting?” she asks.
“This is an important meeting; Hadebe meeting his precious
diamond for the first time.” He leans down to itand kisses
her on top of her thick, bald lips. There’s no meeting more
important than this one. Nzalo will postpone and choose
another day.
-
-
-

MaMkhwanazi defrosted the meat a long time ago. Msindisi

wasn’t that surprised that she chose to be hands-on in the
kitchen, his mother likes showing off. It’sjust a family
meeting with Xolani but she will exaggerateeverything and
even take out her new set of dishes.
She’s done peeling all the vegetables, now about tocheck if
her bread is steaming well.
Msindisi walks in, “Can I borrow your laptop?” “Yeah,
go to my bedroom,” she waves him away.
She’s cooking a feast nobody can say no to. Maybe after this
everyone will close the Thobile chapter. Can’t she die and
rest in peace like everyone? Why is she stillthe main
character? She’s not the only mother who diedthat year. Her
kids have forgotten about her. All Xolani has to do is to keep
his mouth shut.
Msindisi gets in her bedroom and looks around for the
laptop. But his eyes catch a stink bug on the carpet. It
probably came from the garden. There’s no pesticide in
sight, only a bottle of water. There’s nothing much insidebut
a few drops of water will keep it in place for a minutewhile
he gets a broom.
MaMkhwanazi walks in, she almost faints at the door. Isthat…
her tears?!
“Msi…ndisi!” she can’t breathe.
Msindi looks at her, “Get a broom ncane, it’s a bug.”“My
tears!”
“Huh?”
She’s pointing at the carpet. Msindisi is confused.
“I cried so much and you just….” She stops before it slips
out. She cried for nothing, Msindisi has poured allher
hardwork on a stupid bug. The biggest bug is his uncle.
“Ncane are you alright?” he asks.
She takes a deep breath, “Yes. Is it dead?”
“Not yet, but it’s just a bug ncane, it has no gun.”Msindisi
laughs, thinking she got a fright.
She fakes a smile. This meeting is now useless, maybeshe
should call Nzalo and say she’s sick.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 22
NALENHLE

Zola left yesterday and didn’t come back. She didn’t even
notify me, I had to see her active Whatsapp status to know
that she wasn’t kidnapped. I wake up today laterthan usual,
she’s back. She is sleeping on the couch
with her sandals on. If she was a drunk I would’ve assumed
she drank too much and she’s hung over. Butshe doesn’t
drink, clearly her lack of sleep was causedby Mr X himself.
“Hello!” I shake her shoulder.
It has to be twice and aggressive before she opens hereyes.
“It’s Sunday,” I say.
“Mmmm, I’m tired.” She attempts closing her eyes again.This
is why sex before marriage is forbidden.
“We have to go shopping, Thami’s birthday is next
Friday and we can’t get everything last minute,” I say.
“Yoh, it’s Sunday today?” She rubs her eyes, gruntingwith
frustration.
“Yes and it’s already 9am, if we go late it will be toocrowded
and you know I have social anxiety.”
She frowns, “Since when?”“It
doesn’t matter, get up.”
She gets up and stretches herself. You can tell from hereyes
that she’s exhausted.
“You didn’t tell me that you will sleep out,” I say.“It
just happened, I didn’t plan it,” she says.
“You could’ve at least texted me when he requested
another round. I could’ve gone to the police and saidyou
were missing,” I say.
Instead of showing remorse she starts smiling. “Should Istart
wearing revealing clothes? Not so much, just a bit. Maybe
show some cleavage and legs.”
“Why would you do that?” I’m confused.
“Because I have a man who likes my body.”“So
you want to advertise it?” I ask.
“Nale, you wear dresses that show your bums when you
bend. I don’t expect criticism from you, the village Miley
Cyrus,” she says.
Now this is my problem, you don’t ask me for advice when
you’ve already decided what you’re going to do.
And I’m not the village Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus is thecity
Nalenhle.
“It’s not who you are. Did Mr X ask you to reveal yourbody?”
I’m uncomfortable with this.
“Not really but I know that’s what he wants. He liked it when
I wore the mini dress he bought me the other day,”she says.
“I don’t understand why he wants you to go around showing
your body, it’s not who you are. If he doesn’twant a girl that
dresses up the way you do, then he should get one that
meets his requirements.”
“Yeah, yeah. I knew that what you’d say. It’s all comingfrom a
place of not liking him,” she says.
“That’s not true.” At least 60% of it is not.
My feelings about him probably influenced my opinion abit,
but it’s still valid with or without my personal stand point.
Why must she change herself to please him?
“Every woman out there does things here and there to
impress their men. You also went to a homeless shelterand
played Mother Teresa to please Nzalo’s mother’s ghost,” she
says.
I can’t help it, I laugh. She’s so evil for using that againstme, I
wasn’t even doing it for the ghost. Well, not
entirely.
“That’s a different scenario, you want to change your whole
wardrobe for a man who found you with 32 teeth,”I say.
“I haven’t grown all my four wisdom teeth yet, they’re still
30,” she says.
“At 29? They will never grow, that’s why you’re not wise.
All my wisdom teeth grew before I turned 25.” Maybe
that’s why I’m this wise and not changing my wardrobefor a
man.
“I think Xolani is spoiling me and ruining me so that evenif I
break up with him, I won’t be able to move on. The standard
he’s setting is too high,” she vaunts.
“Really?” I’m surprised to see her singing men praises.
Usually it’s me in her position and she always advises me
not to trust men too much.
She sits, facing me. Her skin is glowing better than other days.
“Do you think I can be able to date a man who doesn’t give
me a car, send me lunch everyday and make me cum with his
tongue.”
“What???” My God-fearing self can’t listen to this.
“Mzala if I knew everything he’s capable of doing to my
body, I would’ve gotten naked for him after our first date.I
have robbed myself of nice things for what? For what
mzala?”
“Don’t you fear God?” I’m traumatized.
She laughs out loud. “God will understand. I’m so in lovewith
that man, yoh.”
She covers her eyes, giggling. Then opens them, “Can you
guess how much he sent me in the morning to fill upthe car
and buy myself a snack on the way?”
“He gave you money again?” God help us all. My cousinis
really not herself. Maybe she’s right about Mr X ruining her
for other men. In less than three months shewill be
depending on him, asking him what she should wear and eat.
“And he took care of rent, so you will give your half for
me,” she says.
“No, I’m not going to do that.” Is she crazy?
Mr X was obviously sent by God to take care of our rent.If he
only wanted to pay her half he would’ve done so.
I’m not paying Zola a cent. “But
he’s my man,” she says.
“So what? I’m your cousin, I’m keeping your secrets.
Malume doesn’t know that you’re now sleeping over a
man’s place and driving his car.”
“Whatever! I have to go and take a bath, make me
something to eat.”
Mr X is ruining her. Now she thinks I’m going to be hercook
because he paid our rent.
-
-
-

We both agreed to equally contribute towards Thami’s

birthday. He doesn’t know that he’s having a party, it’s a
surprise. But Zola is suddenly more monied than I am, insome
shops I do take a step back and let her pay. It’s
my way of respecting her. We don’t know what Thami wants
for his birthday, we are just going with our hearts.He’s a
teenage boy, obviously he’d want sneakers and headphones
as a gift, all teenagers want that.
We sit down to eat at Steak House. I generously choosemy
meal, knowing she’s going to take care of the bill, if not she
will call Mr X to come and pay. Do I like him now? I have my
reservations and I will be watching him.

My phone rings, our food hasn’t arrived yet. It’s Nzalo, Istep
out to take the call because it’s a bit noisy inside.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Where are you?”
“I’m in town with Zola doing some shopping.”“I
need to see you, send location.”
I’m a bit worried, this is unlike him even though he likes being
around me a lot. I send him the location and returninside.
“Nzalo is coming here,” I tell Zola.
“Oh good, he’s going to pay the bill.” She picks themenu
again.
“Excuse me?” I can’t believe she wants to order more
food. Didn’t Nzalo lose his father not so long ago? What
happened to humanity?
“He will pay, or you will pay?”
Me? “Of course not.”
I can’t even enjoy my meal because I don’t know what he
wants to see me for. I last saw him two days ago andhe was
going to talk to Mr X about his shenanigans. He finally walks
in, becoming the most outstanding man in
the room. Not because of height, but his presence ishard to
not to feel. Not just by me, almost everyone turns and looks
when he passes their table.
“Hello girls,” he greets.
It doesn’t look like there’s anything wrong with him. He
kisses my cheek and allocates himself a chair…and my drink.
“Why are you drinking beer?” he asks, putting it down
.
“It’s a cider, not a beer,” I say.
“Same thing, it’s alcohol.” He’s trying to pull a Mr X onme;
telling me what to do.
I drink, his uncle and I met in a pub for crying out loud.
“Your man didn’t show up,” he says to Zola.
“Sorry about that,” she says.
“So it was you who kept him busy?”
“I tried telling him to come but he chose not to listen. Areyou
going to reschedule?”
“Yeah but not this week because I have to quickly go to
Botswana,” he says.
I’m shocked and hurt at the same time. This is my firsttime
hearing that he’s going somewhere this week, to
another country at that. This is exactly why I didn’t wantto
invest my emotions in this relationship.
“That’s why I’m here,” he says to me.
I don’t say anything. I have nothing to say.
“My flight is booked for tomorrow morning 11:20am,” hesays.
“Okay.” I just want to go home.
Zola knows me, she can see that I’m not okay.
“Let’s eat and go,” she says.
Nzalo gets his own meal, we are in this place longer
than I would’ve wanted to. So I decided to go and wait inthe
car, leaving the bill between the two of them, aunt and
nephew.

I don’t see Nzalo necessarily everyday but him going to

another country leaves me to my reality. And my reality is
not something I want to live. Being with him gives mea
chance to focus on our relationship. I haven’t thought about
my father in so long. My mom’s condition didn’t bother me
for a while. I tend to overthink a lot, wondering what would
happen if one day my aunt leaves this world. How will I live
my life and take care ofher? My father, what if his name is
Hadebe? Not knowing who he is makes my life difficult. I can
build myhappiness on something only for his identity to
destroy everything, if I ever discover it.
Zola comes to the car with take-aways of our left-overs.
“Nzalo paid,” she says.
“Where is he? Still eating?”
“No, I told him to stay behind so that we can talk. What’s
making you angry? He’s not going on vacation, he’s going to
work.”
“I’m not angry, he should go,” I say.
“Are you scared of being alone?”
“No,” I say.
“I think you are. But it’s really unfair on him, now he’s
worried because you left on a verge of tears. Maybe youneed
to find another way to deal with the situation than using
your relationships as a shield. He’s only going away for a
week and coming back.”
“I’m just so used to having him around. I don’t know what
I’m going to do. I’m already feeling lost. He’s noteven going
to another city, but another country. That’swhy I didn’t want
to be too invested.”
“Exactly why I’m saying it’s unfair on him. You’ve dated
assholes in the past and given them your whole heart and
kidneys. Obviously he likes you and he cares a lot,but
putting your happiness entirely on him and his physical
presence is unfair. You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
“I’m not forcing him to do anything.” I wasn’t crying but
now I am, because she’s making this situation
something that it’s not.
“Come on, you need to at least take this week that he’saway
for self-care. I know it’s hard because you can’t even have a
conversation with aunty, one parent that you have and
would like to have a word with. But you can’t change
anything about that, so you have to find away to work
around it.”
“Work around it, kanjani Zola? This is not even a matterof
having a father, but knowing the truth so that I can know
who I am. And I don’t feel like I have been told thewhole
truth.”
She frowns, “What do you mean?”
“My mom has never been independent. Rape isn’t like
stealing where you go inside the house, take something and
run away. She was home when it happened. How come they
don’t even have one suspect?” I have never said this to
anyone. I have asked myself these questionsin private
because I don’t ever want it to sound like I’m blaming my
uncle or assuming things.
“But if dad knew why would he hide it from you? This has
affected you right in front of his eyes. You’ve seen him going
through different emotions and stressing overyour well
being.” She’s defending her father, which is something I
already knew she’d do, as well as anyone who’d hear me
asking these questions.
“My life will never go anywhere!” It’s been 26 years, I have
been waiting for someone to come and say he’s
my father. It was someone they knew, surely he heardabout
the pregnancy and maybe he’s seen me grow.
Why is he not coming forward? Yes, he will be arrestedbut I
will have closure. He at least owes me that; closure.
“Maybe try and see a pyschologist,” Zola says.
“I don’t have mental problems Zola, it won’t fix my
problems.” I don’t need to sit with a professional, I needmy
uncle to start going down the memory lane and tell me who
they hosted at home before my grandmother
found out that my mother was pregnant. I will go to each
person and demand a DNA test.
“I know it won’t but do it to fix your relationship,” she
says.
“My relationship is fine,” I say.
“Is it? Are you going to actually talk to Nzalo and wishhim a
good flight tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Okay, let me call him.”
I do feel like a piece of work right now. Zola being heremeans
so much to me at the moment because a lot could’ve gone
wrong.

Nzalo comes, I get out of the car so that we can have a

private conversation. I’m still not okay with him leaving but
as Zola said, if you can’t change the situation find away to
work around it.
“I knew you weren’t going to be happy, that's why I didn't
want to tell you on the phone but I’m hurt,” he says.
“Sorry I walked out,” I say.
“I had someone going there on my behalf but sadly he had a
family emergency. Msindisi can’t go, I have to do itmyself. It’s
only a week and we’ll video-call.”
“It’s really fine Nzalo. I have lived without you for 26years,” I
say.
“You’re making it sound like we are breaking up.” Hepulls
me for a forehead kiss and then holds my hand.“I’m
really sorry. Do you want me to leave the house keys with
you?”
“For what?” I ask.
“I don’t know, if you happen to want to go there. Youlove
my mother’s house, don’t you?”
Life is really a tree, because why on earth is he giving me his
mother’s old house’s keys and not his car keys?Doesn’t he
take notes from his uncle?
“Yeah, I will go there and clean,” I say.
He smiles, it really went above his head. I was trying to
mock him.
He gives me the house keys and another kiss. “I love you
Nalenhle. I haven’t figured everything out yet but Iknow
that I’m going to stick by your side. Now I know you hate
feeling alone, so next time I have a trip we’ll plan in
advance and go together. Okay?”
I work, it might be impossible but I appreciate him for
considering it. Now I have to give him a smile and wishhim
a good trip. But I know I’m about to sink back into
darkness, a week is a very long time.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 23
ZOLA

I had given up on having a sibling when Thami came. I was

already in high school, doing Grade 8. Then one day I just
came home and my mother told me she was having another
baby. It was something we had all wanted and prayed about,
but at that point I had become a teenager and I didn’t want
to have a pregnantmother. I was embarrassed, I knew that
my parents were having sex and that irked me. But today
that baby is 16 and I couldn’t have asked for a better sibling.

Nale and I arrived late yesterday, he was already in hisroom

asleep. Xolani brought us, I couldn’t come home driving his
car because my dad is not that kind of man, he wasn’t going
to let me park a man’s car in his yard. But he would’ve
excused it if it was Nale. She gets a lotof passes that I don’t.
MaMkhwanazi knew what she was doing when she talked
to Nale about rape, that planted a permanent seed of doubt
in Nale’s head. It
was awkward having both of them in the car but we gothome
safely.

I’m not a kitchen person by nature. I’d rather eat bread and
take-aways than to cook. But today is a big day, I woke up
first and came to the kitchen to make breakfast.I’m making
the mother of all breakfasts that have ever happened in this
village.
My dad walks in, my main man.
“Hello dad,” I greet.
“Saze sabusiswa bo! Thami should have birthdays everyday so
that we can get this soft treatment.” He teases, looking at the
mess I’ve made in the kitchen.
“I didn’t see him last night, he needs to wake up and go
invite his friends for the party,” I say.
“Did you talk to him about the party? I thought it would be a
private thing because you know how your brother islike when
it comes to social settings,” he says.
Nale is just walking in. “What is going to be private?”
“We are talking about Thami’s party,” dad says.
“But it can’t be private. We have spent so much, getting
décor material and food. People have to come and see what
we did,” she says.
Dad laughs, “You will hear from him.”
He goes and wakes Thami up from his room. “He
can’t do us dirty like that,” Nale says.
Funnily, I agree with her. It’s more than Thami’s day, we
wanted to put on a show. The first biggest Sweet 16 in
the village. This boy can’t disappoint us.
He comes, his eyes on the phone. He’s been awake buthiding
in his room.
Nale starts singing, I join in;
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!”
He buries his face on the wall as we sing. I think it’s happiness,
he didn’t expect this, plus Nale has a good voice. She’s hitting
Beyonce high notes, even neighborscan hear where they are.
“Thanks bosisi bami, but that was loud,” he says.
“Well, it’s about to get even louder. You have to invite
your friends for your party, it’s your Sweet 16. Ma will
take care of adults invites. 1pm sharp, we start,” I say.
“I have a soccer game at 1pm,” he says.
“No, you’re having a birthday party. Nale and I had yourcake
custom made by an expensive baker. We have thedécor, we
are going to cook seven colors…”
“Eight,” Nale interjects.
“Right, we will cook eight colors. Have dad in a costume
dancing, Nale is the MC and a musician for the day.” It’sgoing
to be fun, we planned everything perfectly.
“It does sound like you guys will be having a good time. I
won’t be here, one I don’t like birthday parties, two my
friends are doing this soccer game to celebrate me.”
Wow, what an ungrateful rat!
“So your friends are more important than us?” I ask.
“No, but what’s more important is me enjoying my birthday,
right? Not my sisters having fun and proving apoint to their
childhood enemies?”
I look at Nale, why is she quiet and not backing me up?
“But we can’t have pictures of your party without you,” Isay.
“We can have pictures as a family. I’m not going to be here
for the party but I do appreciate you doing this forme. I’m
blessed to have sisters like you.”
This is a disaster. Dad was right, we should’ve askedhim
before planning.
“Are you at least going to see your gifts? I bought you
sneakers, R1.8k cash,” Nale.
He smiles, “Really?” “Let
me get them,” Nale.
I give up. I think we should save our food and have a private
thing when he comes back from his soccer gameas dad said. I
respect teenagers of this century, in my
time I would’ve done absolutely anything and everythingto
have a surprise party thrown for me. I remember when I
turned 16 coming home from school, tiptoeing sothat I didn’t
ruin my surprise birthday. Only to find my mother cooking
ujeqe. For Nale’s 16th birthday we had
to run all over the yard chasing a chicken that had nowill
of dying and leaving its family behind.
-
-
-

NALENHLE

Some days are better than others. I really miss Nzalo,for

the first time in my life a week feels like 10 years.
Today I’m in the village, my signal won’t allow me to have a
video call with him. I have been obsessing over Zola and Mr
X’s relationship, saying she will depend on him if she lets him
take over her life like this. But that was just an objection, I
still have a freedom to do anything that I want but I’m empty
when I have no one but myself. I don’t have inner peace,
there’s no joy in myheart. All the happiness that I’ve amassed
in life has been dependent on other people, even before
Nzalo. I have never been happy because I made myself
happy. Irely on other people to make me feel happy.

I have so much to say to my uncle. I’ve had so much fora

very long time but I’ve been scared. I know how muchhe
goes out of his way for me and I can never doubt hislove for
me and my mother. I don’t ever want him to feellike he
hasn’t done enough, because he has done morethan enough
for his sister and I. But for me to be at peace I have to ask all
the questions that I have. My aunt wasn’t here when it all
happened, I can’t say anything to her.
I leave them inside cooking lunch with Zola. It’s a familylunch,
Thami ruined all our plans. But for once Zola is
taking care of the kitchen, voluntarily and happily. Myuncle is
sitting in front of the rondavel grinding
something in the pot. I hope it’s not another mixture tomake
Zola and I get along. We’ve worked around our issues…okay,
I’m lying. But we always find our way back to each other.
“Shano why do you look so sad? Is it about Thamiturning
down the birthday party idea?” he asks.
“Not really.” I pull my dress and sit on the grass.
I want to have real talk with him and I know it will be
uncomfortable for both of us.
“Okay, talk to your uncle,” he says, pushing the potaside.
“I’m dating someone.” I’m not allowed to talk to my own
uncle about boys. He hates boys topics but I’m a known
rebel, he knows that I always throw a challenge or two on
his way.
“Why?” he asks.
I laugh because at my age aunty already had Zola.
“We like each other but I don’t know if him and I mightbe
related,” I say.
He heaves a deep sigh. “What’s his surname?”“Hadebe,” I
say.
“You don’t have to worry about that, live your life and be
happy,” he says.
“But that’s the thing malume, you expect me to forget
that I don’t know who my father is and live like nothing is
wrong when everything is wrong. I’m 26, nobody is saying
anything to me. I still know one story that doesn’teven make
sense.” I’m tired of pretending.
They didn’t tell me enough. They also didn’t look hardenough.
“Who did my grandparents host before my mother
conceived me? Surely it’s not that hard to remember, it was
someone close to you. Everyone trusted him with my
mother, that’s the only way he had access and enough time
to not only take away her virginity but makeher pregnant as
well.” I know it can only take one sexualencounter for a
woman to get pregnant but in my head my mother was
raped repeatedly, not just once.
“I was young Nalenhle, I can’t remember such details,” he
says.
I’m sorry but that’s bullshit. He’s not that young from my
mother, we all know the story.
“She had me at 22, you were 21. Were you not her
replacement?” I know he doesn’t deserve this
interrogation but he mustn’t act like he was a newborn when
it happened. He’s only 13 months apart with my mother.
When my grandfather discovered that he has adaughter who’s
not only fully blind, but mute as well, hedemanded another
baby. Apparently my mother was
less of a human, so my uncle had to be born as a
replacement.
“You know how much I love my sister. If I had a say on when
I was born, I would’ve given her 20 years to enjoybeing a
baby. I didn’t want things to happen the way
they did and I’m trying to make up for that.” He’s hurt bymy
words, which wasn’t my intention.
“I’m not saying it was your fault,” I say.
“But that’s how it sounds and that’s how I’ve always felt. I
robbed my sister a chance to be a baby and to be loved and
cherished. I came and all the attention was onme regardless
of her being a person of special needs.
She wasn’t taken care of the way she should have been,
hence what happened happened. That’s why I’m taking care
of her myself, I want to make sure what happened never
happens again. And for 26 years I’ve done that.”
This conversation has gotten out of hand. The point I was
trying to make didn’t stick in, now we are talking about
something else. I don’t think anyone will ever understand
how hard my life is. Nobody is walking in myshoes, they’re
just by my side, which isn’t always enough.
“I’m sorry I brought this up again.” I dust myself up. I
don’t think I will be with everyone for lunch. I need a
moment to myself.
“Nalenhle, we love you,” he says.
“I know malume.” I’m locking away a thousand drops of
tears.
“You are a Thabethe, those are the ancestors who lookafter
you. Live your life to the fullest and be happy. But don’t
forget that you’re still a child, not anyone’s wife.”
I nod and walk away.
-
-
-

Thami is not here for his birthday lunch, I’m also in my room
lying in bed because I can’t take my negative energy to
everyone on the table. My mother can feel it when I’m not
alright, I don’t want to ruin her day as well.My uncle comes
in with a plate of food. He tends to overcompensate when
something isn’t right with either me or my mother.
“Get up and eat,” he says.
“I’m not hungry malume, thank you.”
“This will affect your mother, you know that. She already
knows that you’re not gathered with us for lunch.”
I sit and take the food. “Thank you.”
He sighs heavily and doesn’t walk out as expected.
“You know that your grandfather wasn’t buried at home,
right?”
“Yeah.” My grandfather’s body was too injured, they said. He
had too many wounds on his body, bringing his
body to our cemetery would’ve been a bad omen and
possibly create a generational curse.
“I think it’s time we bring his spirit home. Your mother,you
and I,” he says.
“And Zola?” I think he forgot about her. “No,
the three of us will be fine,” he says.
I don’t understand why we are leaving Zola behind, if
this needs biological family members I should be going with
his kids as well. His wife should be the only one leftbehind. I
don’t like dead spirits, don’t ask me about
Thobile’s, that one is a friendly spirit. I didn’t meet my
grandfather but from what I heard, he was a no- nonsense
man, I don’t think his spirit is friendly.
“When are we going?” I ask.
“Next time you come home, which I hope will be in your
next fortnight,” he says.
“Okay. But why are we bringing him home now? He’s been
dead my whole life.” I don’t think his dead self stillcares about
it. I don’t even know where he was buried,nobody ever visits
him. Even my grandmother didn’t.
Zola comes in before he can give me an answer. “What
was the point of a family lunch if you two are
going to be doing your own thing in the room?” She’s not
happy at all.
“You can continue, I will join in a second,” malume says.“No,
you won’t. Even Thami’s day is about Nalenhle.”
She’s directing her aggression to me.
I’m the wrong person, darling.
“Thami is also not here, why is it a problem if I choose tobe
alone?” I ask.
“Because ever since Nzalo went to Botswana you are ababy,
Nale. You can’t even make one day be about someone else,
everything is about you,” she says.
“How am I being a baby? I’m not sucking anyone’s
breast, I simple want to be alone.” I don’t understand
why this is hard for her to understand.
“That’s your way of seeking attention. We had an
agreement Nale, even aunty is now not eating because
you’ve thrown all your toys out of the basket,” she
throws her hands in the air.
“Call your sugardaddy, you will be fine.” I’m not goingback and
forth with her.
“Oh, you want to go there now?” she asks, as if she
didn’t bring Nzalo into the conversation first.
“Yeah, call your sugardaddy and tell him to come andpick
you up,” I say.
“What sugardaddy?” Malume asks.
She blinks rapidly; looking at me with disbelief.I
eat my food and keep quiet.
“I’m not doing this.” She takes out her phone.
Hilariously doing exactly what I say she must do.
Sugardaddy will be jumping inside the car and racinghere
to save his toddler.
“What’s going on between you two? Are you dating oldermen
Nokuzola?” Malume is getting angry.
“He’s not old, he’s 43,” she says.
“What? Nokuzola are you mad?”
“Of course it’s going to be an issue because it’s not Naledoing
it. I’m out of here.” She walks out of her own
father. And then she says it’s me who is an attention-seeker?
I stayed in my room, she’s leaving her own brother’s
birthday. But I’m the bad guy, right?

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 24
ZOLA

I knew that he was going to come, as uncomfortable as

this is. We made a stop in the house and I packed what Ican,
and we came to his house. Could I have handled
the situation differently? Yes. But I have been the bigger
person all my life. Thami knows how much I love him, it’s
unfortunate that I had to reach my breaking point onhis
birthday.
“Hey, come here.” He puts me on his chest and givesme a
hug that I need.
I know my dad is mad where he is. I have never doneanything
like this. I don’t disrespect him, I do what he
wants me to do, even when Nale doesn’t and get a
pass, I’m always that child who listens.
Xolani hasn’t asked me what happened, I was veryemotional,
he did good by giving me a moment.
Now he asks, “What happened?”
“A lot.” I untangle from his embrace and sit up.
He’s staring at me, holding my hand. I know he wasn’t
comfortable coming to my parent’s house and taking
their daughter, especially since it wasn’t peaceful.
“I had a disagreement with Nale, she turned Thami’s
birthday and made it about herself. Everyone had to stop
celebrating and worry about her, I just lost it,” I say.
“I’m sorry about that. Was it that only?” he asks.
“It’s been a recurring behavior, they do a lot to pleaseNale.
Especially my dad, he’d disregard everyone’s
feelings to nurse Nale’s, I’m fed up.” I grew up and endured
this treatment, Nale before everyone else. I understand
that she has a void in her life, particularly because of how
she was conceived and my aunt beingunable to
communicate. But it can only go on for so long.
“Is it about Thabethe or Nale?” he asks.
“Both, I’m fed up with them,” I say.
“Alright.” He pulls me to his chest again.
I don’t cry easily, even though I’m hurt all I can do is vent
about it. And Xolani is the first man I can do that to,
freely. He puts me first, something no man has ever
done for me. For once I’m someone’s first priority, I know
he’d leave everything and come to me whenever Ineed him.
He doesn’t expect me to be bigger than everyone in the
room. He’s listening to me, not telling me to know better
and do better.
“Should we order something to eat?” he asks.
“Yes, please.” I didn’t finish my lunch.
My aunt wasn’t eating because Nale and my dad were hiding
in the bedroom. My mother was then begging her to eat so
that she could take her medication. Nale knowshow much
everyone fusses over her but she’d pretend like it just
happens and she plays no part in it.
“Do you want pizza?” Xolani asks.
“Yes, creamy chicken,” I say.
He taps into his app. I think he’s figured out that I hate
cooking. But I will surprise him one day with a home cooked
meal.
“Maybe I needed to be born out of rape too,” I think out
loud. It seems like you have to be from traumatic
experiences to be noticed kwaThabethe.
“Please don’t say that, especially to your cousin,” he
says.
“But what should I think? They haven’t even called to check
how I’m doing but trust me, if it was Nale my dad would be
on radio stations, erecting missing person boards, and
looking for her up and down.” I know whereI stand in the
pyramid, I have known my whole life. And Istomached it for
so long. I’m in the bottom; it’s every
child first then me. Maybe the first three years of my life
were good, before Nale was born. But sadly I can’t
remember. I just remember having a dad who had other
priorities. A dad who doesn’t let me make any mistake but
accept hundred similar mistakes from his niece.
“I don’t think he would call because of me. Indirectly, I
involved myself in your fight. Which is okay because you’ve
done the same for me, you fight my battles. Butit’s not
going to have positive outcome as far as my relationship
with your parents go.”
I know, I just didn’t think straight at the time, I was too
emotional. I shouldn’t have called him, especially sinceNale
had already told my dad that I’m dating a “sugardaddy”, I
should’ve taken a taxi.
“I will fix it,” I say.
“No, don’t worry. Your pizza is coming.” He kisses mycheek
and takes a deep breath. It’s not nothing, he’s worried more
than he lets on.
-
-
-

We move to the bedroom after our pizza delivery. I don’t

know if he had plans prior to getting my call, but it seems
like he will be indoors with me. He doesn’t have snacks so
we resorted to fruits. We are cuddled up, I’m feeling a bit
better and less angry about the situation.
“Maybe I should call them and tell them I’m okay, eventhough
they didn’t ask,” I say.
“Yes sthandwa sami, just to put them at ease. They might not
say it but I know any parent worries about theirchild’s
safety.” He was waiting for me to come to my senses.
Because as much as I hate it, I care about my familymore
than they care about me.
I call dad directly and he answers.
“Nokuzola,” he says.
“I just wanted to let you all know that I’m okay. I knowyou
didn’t ask, but just in case you were wondering,” Isay.
“You have disappointed me mntanami, I’m not going to lie. I
hope you come to your senses soon. That man might be
driving an expensive car but you’re not going toget anywhere
in life by associating yourself with older men. He only wants
one thing from you.”
Xolani is right next to me, he can hear this. I still don’t
think it was necessary for Nale to say I’m dating a
sugardaddy because I wasn’t referring to her
relationship with Nzalo, I said that to make her reflect onher
behavior. I wasn’t ratting her out, but even if I did
there wasn’t going to be any consequences for her. Dadheard
Nzalo’s name, he knows that Nale is also dating, but he turned
a blind eye and focused on me having a sugardaddy. Nale
knew that was going to happen, she
threw me under the bus.
“Your mother is heartbroken. The way you walked out and
got in that car, publicly shaming us, is not somethingshe
expected from you,” he says.
“Dad do you care about how I feel at all?” He’s talking about
being publicly shamed, my mother’s broken heart and being
disappointed, nothing about how his daughterfeels.
“I care,” he says.
“It doesn’t feel so. You lead others and expect me to justfigure
it out.”
“We could’ve talked about it. I have never refused to listen to
you. If you were not happy about something youshould’ve
talked to me, like your cousin always does.
Not call another man to come and disrespect my house.”This
is not going anywhere, I drop the call.

Xolani didn’t disrespect him, he stayed in his car and

waited for me to come out. I don’t understand why he
uses that as an excuse not to consider my feelings.
I hear him taking a deep breath before putting his arm
around me.
“I didn’t mean to bring this drama to you, I’m sorry,” Isay.
“It’s fine sthandwa sami. I’m just sad that I couldn’t makethe
situation better, my involvement added salt to the wound,”
he says.
“Don’t blame yourself. We had unresolved issues beforeyou,
he’s just mentioning you to avoid acknowledging my
feelings.”
“I love you. I know it’s going to be questioned because of the
age difference but there’s nothing that I want fromyou other
than your heart,” he says.
“So you don’t want my body anymore?” I thought he was
obsessed with me.
He smiles, “Now you’re tricking me.”
“So you’re lying?” I ask.
“No, I’m just sad that things turned out like this. But I’m
going to do right by you and everyone who doubted ourlove
will be surprised,” he says.
I have no doubt about that. I snuggle myself on his chest, his
hand drops down to my waist. My weekend is not going as
planned but I’m in my happy place. In a place where my
feelings are acknowledged and put first.
-
-
-

NALENHLE

Zola took some of her things here. I don’t know if she’s

moving out or temporarily gone to vat’ n sit with Mr X. We
haven’t talked, she hasn’t been on Whatsapp. Thami
was hurt when he came home and found her gone. I have
tried reflecting back on the events of that day tryingto figure
out how I offended her. I can’t think of one single thing. Zola
advised me to find a way to work around my identity issues.
That’s what I was doing by confronting my uncle. I
understand the timing may have been wrong but it’s not like
Thami was even there. I didn’t ruin his day, even if I did it
would’ve been his placeto confront me about it, not Zola.
Whatever she’s going
through, I hope she heals. Maybe take her own advicetoo
and ‘find a way to work around it’.
I got back in the morning because I wanted to do laundry.
It’s Sunday afternoon, I’m bored and our TV is still off. I have
Nzalo’s keys to his mother’s house. I cantreat it as my
vacation home, go there whenever I’m bored. Nzalo is
coming back tomorrow, I can’t wait. I have a lot to talk
about. I have never really shared my deep fears and opened
up about my issues to him. Zolahas always been there for
that, but now that I know she’s not, I will open up a bit more
to Nzalo.

I requested a meter taxi to bring me here. It’s dark as usual,

but unlike his house there’s warmth and life here.It feels like
I’m walking in to a place I’ve lived in before. Iopen the
windows to let the air come in. At least here
there’s peace, I’m not worried about Zola walking in withMr X.
I find a box of juice in the fridge and pour some in a glass.
Nzalo bought grocery at long last. There is plentygoodies and
meat in the fridge.
I sit down in front of the TV and look for something to
watch. Yesterday was crazy, I didn’t get enough sleep
because someone chose to stress her parents so I was
looking after my mother. Sleep overpowers me halfway
through the movie.

I sail into the land of dreams. I’m still in this house butI’m
not alone. There’s a woman with me, she’s in the kitchen.
I can’t see her face but it feels like I know herand she
knows me.
She stands against the counter and I start telling her about
the the grocery Nzalo bought. I’m in a dream but itfeels like
real life. I tell her about Nzalo’s coffee addiction, which she
laughs off.
“But my house is always dark,” she says.I can
hear the wretchedness in her voice.
“They don’t cook, I’m always hungry.” She turns herback to
me after she’s said that.
There’s a vertical rack where all the pots are displayed.She
grabs one after another, opens the lid and looks inside then
throws it away. In the blink of an eye everything turns
chaotic, she’s throwing pots all aroundthe kitchen because
they are empty.
I wake up, panting heavily. I look around, I’m lying on the
couch and there’s no other person in here. I get up and
rush to the kitchen. The pot rack looks untouched. It wasall a
dream, there was no woman. Or was she? In spirit, maybe.

I log into Whatsapp to check if Nzalo has been online. I have

to update him about this dream. He hasn’t been on
Whatsapp since morning. I really hate this, can
tomorrow come already?
It’s getting late, I have to leave. I decide to call Msindisi
because I need a ride and I need to talk about this dream. I
think that was his mother. I don’t think she’s happy about
them leaving her house, Msindisi as the younger son
should’ve remained behind. I don’t know why he’s staying
with MaMkhwanazi at his age. His mother’s house is
unoccupied, he could have the
freedom he doesn’t have in MaMkhwanazi’s house.
I give him a call and ask him to come and drive me backto my
place.
-
-
-
I don’t know the weather in his head. He’s wearing longwhite
socks with shorts and a coat. Maybe he’s
confusing his ancestors. He comes in and gives me ahug.
“Nzalo didn’t tell me you’d be here,” he says.“I
wanted to watch TV,” I say.
He laughs, “I would’ve came and watched it with you.Are
you ready to go?”
“Yeah, but there’s something I want to tell you first, let’ssit.”
I lead him back to the lounge. Msindisi is an easy personto
talk to. Maybe it comes with an age thing too, we can relate
to each other better.
“So I took a nap not so long ago and dreamed of your
mother. I didn’t see her face but I think it was her because
she said this is her house.”
He frowns, “My mother?”
“Yeah, she was standing against the kitchen counter. I
couldn’t see her face but we were talking, particularly about
Nzalo’s laziness when it comes to grocery shopping. Then she
said you guys keep her house in thedark and she’s always
hungry. Then she started
throwing all the pots on the floor, looking angry.”
“Hhayi ngeke Nale. My mother?” He doesn’t believe me.
I also can’t believe myself. I don’t dream a lot, so for his
mother, a complete stranger to appear in my dream, it's
hard to believe.
“She was a medium-sized woman, a bit thick below her
waist. You know plastic shoes? Others called them jelly
sandals, they used to be popular back in the days. She was
wearing them and a floral dress that was below herknees.”
His face transforms from disbelief to a state of shock. For
a moment he’s frozen; not moving or saying
anything. Then he says, “She loved those shoes. Werethey
pink?”
“Yes, pink,” I say.
“I don’t know what this means. Did you tell Nzalo?”
“He’s offline. But I think she simply wants her house to be
open. Where I come from every night you leave some food
in the pot because we believe our ancestorsvisit at night.
Nobody cooks here, that’s why she said she’s hungry.”
“So I must come here and cook?” He’s now looking
nervous.
“Yes. And open her house, sometimes sleep here andkeep the
lights on.”
“But ncane needs me at the moment,” he says. “For
what? She has a helper, her house is under
security 24/7.” I don’t understand why he makes it sound
like MaMkhwanazi is a child. He’s 25, he should’vemoved
out a long time ago.
“For emotional support,” he says.
“But you’ve been living with her for years. Uwena
isalakubusa from your mother’s womb, you should be
looking after her property,” I say.
“I will ask ncane if I can come.” He’s very weird.
“No, you have to come to your mother’s house and putlife
into it. There’s grocery, pack some of your clothes and
come here tomorrow.”
“This place…it brings me bad memories,” he says.
“It’s time to confront your fears. You will feel better once
you’ve taken the first step.”
He nods but there’s still a lot of doubt in his eyes. I don’t
know if he’s scared to be where his mother’s life ended or
he’s scared of leaving MaMkhwanazi alone, which is
ridiculous.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 25
NALENHLE

I come out and see his car parked outside my workplace. I

run like a child, my world is complete again.He climbs out
and catches me as I swing up on his arms. Oh my god, I have
missed him so much. I can’t believe how much I actually
enjoy his company. It’s true that sometimes you don’t know
what you have until it’s gone.
“I see, someone really missed me.” He’s smiling.
I have missed this smile so much. I stand on my toesand
kiss his lips.
“Let’s get inside, I will tell you some hot gossip about
MaKhoza.”
He laughs, “I just arrived.”
I get inside, he closes the door and goes to his side.
I just missed having a conversation with him. Oh,
flowers?
“Are they mine?” I ask, they’re already in my hands.
“Yes, I went for some classes in Botswana, I’m a better
boyfriend than I was yesterday.”
“That’s nice. What else did you bring me? Seswaa?” Iask.
“No, you will see when you come to my house. Can I geta
kiss?”
I talk too much and forget important things. We kiss for agood
minute. Sometimes my body aches for more but I hold back.
I’m feeling his chest, aching to burst his
buttons open and touch his skin.
“Babe, I missed you so much.” My feelings for him are
deeper than I acknowledge.
He cups my face in his hands. “You don’t know how hard it
was for me to leave you behind. How have youbeen?”
“Not good,” I say, truthfully.
“What happened?” He’s instantly concerned.
“Zola and I had a fight. She called me an attention- seeker for
not gathering with the family for Thami’s birthday lunch but
Thami wasn’t even there. Then I saidshe’s dating a
sugardaddy, your uncle pulled up and
took her. I haven’t seen her ever since that day.”“You
should talk about it and sort it out,” he says.
“If Mr X wasn’t in the picture we would’ve sorted it out a
long time ago.” Mr X inserted himself in our fight. As
someone old enough to be our father he should be
telling Zola to sort things out with her family.
“I don’t know why she was mad. Even if I was seeking
attention, how does that affect her bank account to the point
where she’d pack her clothes and move out?” I don’t have a
clue. If I knew what I did I would be open toapologizing and
hunting her down.
“Maybe you have to hear her out and then decide if youcare
or not. I don’t like it when you two don’t get along, you know
that.” He wants to mediate, mostly because he’s got a soft
spot for Zola.
Am I being unreasonable? No, Zola wanted to do this. Ithink
she’s been waiting for an opportunity to be mad at
me so that she’d go and live with Mr X. But I will becomea
bigger person and let Nzalo take me to their house so that
we can talk.
Just not today, today I want to be in my man’s arms.
“Zola’s drama aside, I had a chat with my uncle aboutmy dad
and it wasn’t productive,” I say.
“Why are you looking for him?” he asks.
“I want to know who he is, that’s all. But my uncle couldn’t
give me any solid explanation, he made it aboutsomething
else and became emotional about it, so I justlet it go.”
“Have you ever thought that you may never find out whohe
was? The possibility of living with that?” he asks.
“Honestly, no.” I have always thought that one day I willknow
who he was.
I have never put a room for any other possibility.
“I think 26 years is a very long time. Life is not really thatlong,
you have to start living it. You can’t waste it because there’s
one cruel man whose identity you don’t know,” he says.
“You’re right, looking at it that way. But life isn’t that simple,
things like this are what make it complete. Whatif his
surname is Hadebe? What would become of us if we find
out too late?”
This is a serious moment, but he’s smiling and making it
something it’s not. “Then we’ll have izidikiselo, we’ll not be
the first ones.”
“What is that?” I’ve never heard of it.
“An incest child,” he says.
I don’t want izidikiselo, I want beautiful children who are
born under shameful circumstances.
“I love that you see a future between us,” he says.
I didn’t mean to publicize my inner thoughts, I will be
more careful the next time

We drive to my place so that I can freshen up and change my

clothes. Zola is still not here but she hasn’tcome back for all
her staff either, so I believe she’s going to come back. I make
Nzalo a cup of coffee and
go to the bathroom. I bought it specifically for him. It will
stay in our cupboard for whenever he comes by.
I have a set of sexy underwear. I’m always properly dressed;
always prepared. You never know, you can bewalking on the
street and have the wind blow up your dress. It’s cases like
that I prepare for.
I’m wearing a cami cropped top and long skinny jeans. I put
on a cap to complete my casual look.
“Won’t you get cold?” he asks when I appear.
“No, I have a crocodile skin. I don’t get cold.” I pull his hand
up, he gets off the couch and takes my bag then we go. I will
be back tomorrow, hopefully with Zola if sheforgives me for
whatever I did to her in her head.
-
-
-

Msindisi is here. Nzalo is just as surprised, I guess they didn’t

talk about it. We find him in the kitchen cooking, orattempting
to. I don’t think he’s ever cooked in his life.
There are potato peels everywhere. Whatever he wascooking
in the small pot is burnt and smelling.
“Why are you burning the house down?” Nzalo asks.
“I’m cooking.” He looks at me. “Should I have cookedthe
potatoes first before peeling them?”
“You think that would have been a great idea?” I don’t
understand why he thinks they’re wrong the way theyare.
Nzalo breaks into laughter. “What’s wrong with yountwana?
Go home and eat. Or just grab a bite somewhere.”
“I’m cooking for my mother,” Msindisi says.
He stops laughing, freaked out a bit. “Uncane?”
“No, Thobile. She told Nale in her dream that we don’tcook
here.”
“Oh…when did that happen?” He looks at me.
“Yesterday, I was going to tell you but you were offline.”I’m
proud of Msindisi for honoring this.
I hope it’s going to become a habit for both of them. I don’t
want their mother to keep coming to my dreams.
“This is spooky,” he says.
I didn’t expect this from him, he’s the oldest in this room.“So
who’s going to eat burnt potatoes? You will take
them to her grave?”
Msindisi shrugs, “I will just leave it inside the pots.” “You
could’ve just ordered instead of cooking,” he says.
There’s a long way to go. But he will go and buy us
something to eat because we are not going to eat
Msindisi’s potatoes. I don’t even know what he’s cooking,
it could be a mash with spices or potato currywith no
seasoning.
Nobody wants to drive out, Nzalo ordered online. Our
food arrived and for the first time in years they’re having
dinner in their mother’s house. Msindisi is also sleepingover.
I hope their mother is going to come with heaven money to
thank me. None of this would be happening if it wasn’t for
my wisdom.
“I think I’m going to start a Thobile organization, something to
keep her name alive,” Msindisi says.
It’s not him speaking, I think he got freaked out. It’s not abad
idea, they should’ve done something to keep her name alive
a long time ago.
“To help the less privileged?” Nzalo asks. “Yes,
something she was passionate about.”
Nzalo nods, “That would be fantastic, I will do it with
you.”
I’m about to compliment them for this beautiful initiative
they’re taking, Msindisi’s phone rings.
He answers, it sounds like he’s talking to MaMkhwanazi.
The call ends with him on his feet. “Ncane says there’s alizard
in the living room.”
“So what?” I’m a bit confused.
“I can’t sleep here, otherwise she will be freaked out the
whole night.”
What the fuck bazalwane? I have never heard of anyonewho
was killed by a lizard. Where must it stay if not on
the wall?
“It’s just a lizard, she’s a grown woman,” I say.
“But she’s a woman and she’s alone over there.”Unbelievably
Nzalo is backing this bullshit up.
“What if Msindisi was far? Would she have slept in a
hotel and left her house?” Hotels also have lizards bythe
way. Well, not the five star ones but lizards are usually
inside buildings.
“It doesn’t matter, he’s around,” Nzalo says.
Msindisi grabs his keys and leaves. I’ve never been so
confused in my life.
“So if she sees another lizard she’s going to call you tocome
and gang up on them with Msindisi?” I ask.
“You’re being dramatic,” he says.
At times like this I miss Zola. This is a hot gossip, wewould’ve
broken down it into different narratives.
-
-
-

Today I’m going to Mr X’s house for the first time. Nzalo is
with me, I hope we are on time because she’s due for her
shift in an hour. I know there’s a possibility that
things might not work out. Zola wants to be with Mr X, she
needs this undefined feud going on to justify her moving in
with him. There’s no reason why she movedout because we
can not see each other if we want.
We’ve done it before; I left too early for my shift and she
came too late from hers. Then on weekends she can bewith
him and I’d be with Nzalo. Problem solved!

I had no doubt that Mr X is a wealthy man, so his house’s

exterior doesn’t surprise me. Neither does a toyparked at the
front. I wonder why he couldn’t just let go of MaMkhwanazi
and her betrayal because he’s done sowell for himself ever
since she left him.
We walk inside, he comes and gets us from the door.Things
are still tense between us. Even though I no longer think he’s
with Zola for any malicious intention,but him coming to my
uncle’s house and taking Zola
because she had a disagreement with her family rubbedall of
us the wrong way.
“How was Molepolole?” he asks.“I
had a great time,” Nzalo says.
To me he said he didn’t enjoy it because I wasn’t there.“Can
we see Zola?” Nzalo asks.
“Yeah, I think she’s done dressing up.” He turns his eyesto me.
Maybe he wants to say something but I keep my eyes away.
He takes us to his lounge, offers a seat and asks Nzalo to get
me something to drink while we are waiting.

She’s dressed up for work, but not completely. There’s still

time, she greets Nzalo and takes a seat. Mr X has also
invited himself to this meeting. It’s two versus two.
“Did you move out?” I ask.
“My stuff is still there. What do you mean?”
“You’ve been gone the whole week. What is the real
problem?” I’m calm today, I want to listen, maybe I will
understand where she is coming from.
“I didn’t say there was a problem.” She’s not willing to
participate and have a productive conversation with me.Very
childish!
“So you just left your brother's birthday for the fun of it?”I
ask.
“Because you told my dad that I have a sugardaddy.”Here we
go!
Mr X will shoot and kill me one day because she tellshim
everything that I say.
“We were arguing and you started bringing names intoit,” I
say.
“So his name is sugardaddy? You knew what his reaction was
going to be. And that’s my problem with you. You know what
your actions cause. When you don’teat and lock yourself in
your room, you know that my dad is going to follow you and
beg you to eat.”
“And how exactly does that affect your breathing pipes?”I’m
not here to fight but I’m not here to take her nonsense
either. If she didn’t want him to follow me she could’ve
dragged him back.
“He is my dad, it was his son’s birthday and you made it
about you. Don’t you get it? Give other people a chance
to be attended to.” Her voice is rising, her man better
check her out.
“This is exactly why I’m looking for my own dad, so I don’t
have to do this.” I’ve never tried to take her dad away from
her, however he’s the only person I have aswell.
“If my mother was able to communicate I would’ve left your
dad alone. But right now he’s the only person I canask
questions. I don’t have anyone else to turn to.” I didn’t come
here to cry, I’m leaving.
“I don’t think that’s what she meant,” Mr X butts in.
They’ve probably discussed me the whole weekend. I’mthe
attention seeker that has taken people’s daddies away.
“Nzalo let’s go,” I say.
He’s hesitant but he gets up and says goodbye.
This was fruitless, I shouldn’t have agreed to come.

He opens the door for me. Zola appears, she’s followingis.

“Can you excuse us for a minute?” she asks Nzalo.
He doesn’t even confirm with me, he just walks back
inside the house.
“I heard you,” I say. I don’t want to talk about this anyfurther.
“I didn’t start feeling this way Saturday or last week. I have
been feeling neglected my whole life, by my dad mostly.
How he treats you is not how he treats me. Younot having a
father shouldn’t have taken away my rightto have a present
father.”
That hurts. It breaks my spirit to the core. If I knew she was
feeling like this I would’ve minimized the time I spend with
my uncle. Because I’m not a dad thief, I don’tsteal people’s
dads.
“If you left home the way I did he would’ve been in a taxito
Tongaat first thing the next morning. But it’s me, he doesn’t
care,” she says.
“I have never had a man pick me up outside the yard.” Iget
her point but I don’t think I would’ve gotten a free pass on
that.
“But do you see what I’m talking about?” she asks.
“I do but I feel like you should talk to him about it. You
made it seem like I was the problem whereas you have
issues with him as a parent. I didn’t do anything wrong
to you or anybody. I’m a human, I’m allowed to have mylows.
You cannot dictate when I should feel down and need space.”
“I was wrong for doing that. I just needed you to realizethe
role you were playing into dividing everyone’s
attention and making everything about you. Whether youdo
that intentionally or not, but it happens. You stop
eating, dad follows you, my aunt doesn’t eat therefore can’t
take her medication, so my mother as her guardiangets
stressed as well.”
“I don’t think we will agree on that because if I don’t feellike
gathering with everyone, I’m not going to force myself to.
But I heard you loud and clear on other issues.” I will just
minimize my time around my uncle, hopefully she will get
what she wants.
“I haven’t moved out, I will come back,” she says.
“Okay, see you when I see you.” I close the door.
She walks away. I didn’t know I was holding back tearsuntil
now.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 26
ZOLA

I don’t feel like I was able to express myself. Nale didn’t

understand where I was coming from and that hurts because
in all of this I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
The right person to talk to would’ve been my father butwe
are not open to that level. Nale and I talk about almost
everything but this time around I feel like our
communication is broken.
Xolani tried to talk to her, he understands what I wastrying to
say. But Nale wouldn’t listen to him, she
chooses who she listens to. I feel like I didn’t handle thatwell
and I hate myself for it because the past thing I wanted to is
come across as jealous. I’m okay with her
relationship with my father, it’s my relationship with himthat
I’m not okay with.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he hugs me.
I know it’s not okay. Right now I’m at odds with mywhole
family.
“Let’s sit,” he pulls me back to the couch.
I should be going to work but I’m an emotional wreck.
“You can report absent at work, it’s just one night.”
“But I can’t miss work because I had an argument withmy
cousin. That’s a lame excuse,” I say.
“You don’t have to undermine your pain. Take this off.”
He kneels down and unties my boot laces then takes them
off. He sits on the other side and pulls my feet tohis lap.
“I don’t have massage oils,” he says.I
force out a smile, “It’s okay.”
“You’re a good sister, don’t ever doubt that. Siblings fightall
the time and make up,” he says.
I understand he’s trying to motivate me but he’s reallynot
the one to say this.
He grins, “I know what you’re thinking, my case was
different.”
“I just think fighting with your own family is not alright. I
really don’t know what changed because I’ve been okaywith
things that were happening at home. Maybe you are not the
best influence on me.”
“Bad influence should leave you alone.” He pushes myfeet
off his lap.
Can’t he take a joke?
I put them back on his lap. “I’m kidding, please rub my
heels, it feels so good.”
Well, he can’t say no to me, he’s massaging me again.His
phone rings, his face changes before he drops it.
I want no fishy behavior.
“Answer it,” I say.
“I don’t want to bring my family issues, today is aboutyou,” he
says.
“No, I don’t mind.” I want to know who is calling him.He
can’t drop calls as if he has a side-chick.
It rings again, this time he answers.
“Robyn what is it?” he asks.
His speaker is too low, I can’t hear her. But he looks
uncomfortable talking to her, he says he’s busy and drops
the call. I guess this female wanted to see him.
I’m not going to ask questions, if there’s anything hewants me
to know he will say it.
“Robyn is working with me on the case,” he says.“Oh.
Is she a private investigator?” I ask.
“No, I asked her to get close to Mazwi’s fiance, she’sgood,” he
says.
“So what was she saying?” I ask.
“She wanted to see me, I guess she has an update.”
“Then why didn’t you tell her to come here instead ofsaying
you’re busy? It could be important.”
“No, I know her, she exaggerates,” he says.
“Let’s go to her, we are not doing anything.” I want himto
resolve this so that we can move on. If he keeps
postponing important meetings we are delaying.
I get my feet off him.
“Nokuzola!”
I look at him, confused.
Why doesn’t he want to hear what Robyn has to say?
“Sit,” he says.
I sit down. There must be more to this. Why do I feel likehe
doesn’t want me to meet this Robyn?
He smiles, “Today is about you, I don’t want you tostress
over my family skeletons.”
He’s hiding something from me and I won’t push because I
don’t know what it is. But it doesn’t sit wellwith me, I hate
what he’s doing.
“Do you want us to go out for dinner?” he asks.
“We’ll do whatever you want us to do,” I say.
“But you’re the woman of this house.” He pulls my feetup
and kisses both of them, then smiles at me.
“So you make the rules and I listen,” he says.
“Well, you didn’t listen to me just a few minutes ago.” I need
to change into something comfortable. I’m not going out, I
will make myself something to eat and thenwatch a movie
from my phone.
I leave him on the couch and go to the bedroom to change. I
close the door and change. Then I sit on thebed and play
back everything that happened today. I don’t know what
exactly I’m crying for. That he’s hidingsomething from me or
my fight with Nale.
.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

We came back to my place. He was just dropping me offbut

he ended up coming inside with me. He’s never spent the
night here, today might just be his first. I’m a very emotional
person, I used to throw a lot of tantrums growing up, now I
overly express myself and say things that I wouldn’t
necessarily say out loud without anger.
My uncle calls, right during my explosive mood swings.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Hey mshana, can you find time this coming weekend to
come home? I think we should fetch your grandfather’s spirit
sooner than I planned. You, your mom and I.”
“No, I’m not going. Tell Zola to come with you,” I say.
“No, this needs you,” he says.
“She will replace me, I’m not coming.” I drop the call.He
calls again, I switch it off.
“Nale you’re being dramatic,” says someone who
inherited his stepmother’s battles.
How am I being dramatic, Zola doesn’t want me around“her
dad” because it takes away their bonding time. So I’m
minimizing my presence for father and daughter to bond.
“I really don’t think it’s that deep,” he says.
“It is deep, she’s moved out.” We’ve had argumentsbefore but
this one is extreme.
“She said she’s angry over the sugardaddy comment,”he
says.
“How come she’s angry and Mr X, the actualsugardaddy, is
not angry?”
“Can you calm down?”
No, I won’t actually calm down.
I leave him with his three senses and go to my room.

Moments later he follows me, giving me the phone.“Zola

wants to talk to you,” he says.
I’m really not in the mood to have another conversation
with her.
I take the phone and put it over my ear. “I’m here.”
She doesn’t speak but I can hear her breathing on the
other side.
“Zola?” I’m not sure what’s going on.
Why is she calling me if she won’t speak?
“Something is just off with him,” she says, she’s crying.
Zola doesn’t cry. Her celebrity crush can die, get marriedor
stop posting on Instagram. Zola wouldn’t shed a tear. I’ve
known her for 26 years, my whole life. But I can count with
my hands the number of times I’ve seen her cry in her
adulthood.
I sit up properly. “What’s going on?”
“Xolani is hiding something. I hate how he’s making mefeel,
I’m not an insecure person,” she says.
Bloody pensioner! I almost trusted him, I was ready toput
my pride aside and go apologize for misjudging.
“What happened mzala?” I ask.
“There’s a busy body called Robyn, I don’t know whatshe is
to him, he’s lying to me saying they’re working together on
Thobile’s case.” The phone’s speaker is high, it’s a bit later
when I lower it.
Nzalo is standing over me, hearing his mother’s name.“Do
you want me to come over?” I ask.
“No, I just want to cry,” she continues crying.
I don’t think this is all about Mr X. His untruthful ass iscatching
stray bullets.
“Are you done crying?” I ask after a minute.
“No…he’s at the door,” she says.
“Don’t let him inside, make him sleep on the couch.”
“It’s his house,” she reminds me.
“Okay don’t speak to him.” At the end of the day heneeds to
get punished for his sins.
“Alright, I will open and give him silent treatment.”
That right there is a true Thabethe!
I give Nzalo his phone and switch mine on. Hopefully my
uncle got the message, I’m not going. He needs to invite Zola,
maybe they will talk about whatever they need to
talk about.
“Can I sit?” he asks.
It’s serious. I don’t even know what I’m going to say. Asmuch
as I don’t like Mr X, I’m not going to rat him out.
He will tell Nzalo once he’s gathered enough evidence,the fact
that he hasn’t said anything means he doesn’t have it yet.
“Nice to you two reconciling over my uncle.”
But he doesn’t like his uncle, so what is the problem?
“What’s going on Nalenhle? Why is my mother’s name in
it?” He’s the Nzalo I saw at his father’s funeral. He’s not
laughing with me.
“It’s another Thobile,” I say.
“Look at me.” He turns my face towards him, “Do you see
‘stupid’ written on my forehead?”
“No,” I say.
“So why is Zola talking about my mother? What case isshe
talking about?”
“You better talk to your uncle about this,” I say.
“And not to my girlfriend whom I have opened up to and
shared everything with? What would make me trust my
uncle over you?”
God help me! He’s angry, his grabellar lines deepenbetween
his forehead.
I keep quiet, silence is golden. “Okay,”
he says and stands up.
I’ve never heard a more admonitory okay.He’s
leaving.
“Babe!” I want him to stay.
“We’ll talk when you want to talk to me.” He walks outand
closes the door behind.
Moments later I hear him driving off.
Zola is responsible for this but she’s going through a lot. I’m
not going to burden her more. Nzalo will calm down, as I said
his uncle will clarify this better than me.
.
.
.
.
I don’t have transport to work, obviously. I have to take ataxi,
something I’m no longer used to. I’m preparing my
lunchbox when I hear a car pulling up. I refuse to believe
that’s Zola. Zola will be coming back here with her bags by
taxi. Not using Mr X’s car.
I open the door and look outside. Mameshane!
What are my eyes seeing?
He’s dropping her off, I walk out just as they’re sharing akiss.
My anger, my words of comfort, all down the drain!
Mr X drives away, Zola makes her way to the housecarrying a
box of pizza and her purse.
“And then?” I’m confused.
“I need my ID, I think left here.” She’s intentionally not
answering my question.
“And then why are you still together?” I ask.
“Oh, he explained the Robyn situation. We even calledher,
there’s nothing going on between them,” she says.
I can’t believe this. I even stopped myself from telling her
how she ruined my night because I thought she wasgoing
through a lot.
“I thought you weren’t going to speak to him,” I say.“I
tried but he’s a smooth talker, you know him.” “No, I
don’t!”
“Well, he is. Later today we are going to meet withRobyn
together.”
Well, speaking about that…my relationship is hangingon a
thin thread.
“Nzalo heard you talking about Mr X being on Thobile’s case,
the call was loud and he was standing next to me,”I say.
“And you didn’t say anything to warn me?”“I
didn’t know you’d talk about her,” I say.
“Even so, why would you hear me crying and let another
person listen to the call.” She’s forgotten that it was Nzalo’s
phone that she called.
“This is a mess, he’s going to fight Xolani.” She’sworried
about her man, not my relationship.
“He’s angry at me for not telling him the truth,” I tell her.
“Don’t worry, Xolani will sort it out, he’s a superman.”
She opens the pizza and asks if I want some.
Obviously I do, she’s the reason why I have no pizza ofmy
own.
“Your father called last night, there’s something shewants
you, him and my mother to do this coming weekend,” I tell
her.
“I’m not going Nale, I have other plans.” Her mood
changes instantly.
“But if I go you will have a problem, so I don’t
understand.” I’m truly confused, what does she really
want.
“You won’t understand Nale, only Xolani understandsme,”
she says.
“Someone you just met now understands you betterthan I
do?” I’m shocked. What a good dick can’t do doesn’t exist.
Oh, throw money in there too.
“I don’t have a problem with you doing what you want todo
with him. I don’t have an uncle of my own, so I don’t know
the dynamics of such relationship.”
“I also don’t know how it’s like to have a dad, so?”
“So we won’t agree to disagree. I don’t think all fathers
disregard their daughter the way my father does, just
because they have nieces.”
“I don’t understand, what makes you think he disregards
you?”
She unlocks her phone and scrolls down a few times.Then
she shows me their call history.
“I left home, he didn’t call me. But how many times has he
called you? I’m just not a priority to him, he expects me to
figure it out, which I always do. But I need him to make me a
priority at times. He can have more than onepriority, it can
balance out.”
I think I understand her concerns now. I also don’t thinkmy
uncle intentionally disregard her. Had she not calledme
yesterday, I also wouldn’t have known that she needed a
shoulder to cry on.
“You have to talk to him about it,” I say.
“I don’t think I’m the type that asks for attention. I don’tknow
how to, it’s either you give me or you don’t.”
“I’m also that type,” I say.
She fakes a cough. “How many slices?”
“Just three, I will have more when I come back. You need
to tell Mr X to expect Nzalo so that my name canbe
cleared. Also try to express your feelings to your
father.” I don’t think he’s even aware that there’s a problem.
Maybe his wife also feels neglected because ofmy mom who
needs help 24/7.
I really don’t know how this is going to be resolved. I willtry
and stay out of it.
I call Nzalo on my way to work. His phone rings unanswered
for some time, when I’m about to drop heanswers.
He first talks to someone on the side; “Give me a minute, I
have to take this call from my garden lady.”
“Hey, it’s me, Nale,” I say. “What
do you want? I’m busy.”
“Nzalo?” I don’t think he’s aware who he’s talking to.“Speak
Nalenhle,” he says.
He’s very much aware.
“Why are you calling me a garden lady? Since when amI your
garden lady?” Out of all things he could’ve called me, a
garden lady. He doesn’t even have a garden.
“Well, I could’ve called you a double-dealer, a quisling or
Judas.” He’s such a cry baby.
I told him exactly where he’d get information.I
click my tongue and drop the call.
“Eyy men!” someone says on the seat behind me.
I may have relationship problems for now, but I need notaxi
broken-heart women group.
I put my earphones on and play music.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 27
ZOLA

We talked about the Robyn situation and I really hated

myself for being dramatic. I haven’t had many relationships
that ended because of cheating, I don’t know where the
insecurities came from because I’m avery confident lady.
But walking in, seeing her sitting on the table in her skinny
jeans and sunglasses. Xolani’s discomfort when she hugged
him, I’m thinking maybe I wasn’t delusionalto think
something is going on. I still feel that way, whichis crazy
because they’re having a conversation right in
front of me, including me. I can’t find it in me to trust her
with him.

My mind is roaming far away, I’m only brought back by

hearing her mentioning that Mazwi’s fiance is planning a
private birthday party for her daughter’s party in a secret
location and none of her friends and family are invited.
They’re likely to be going to him to celebrate the girl’s
birthday. It’s time for action, tracking devices and all. I don’t
know what Xolani plans to do when he’s found hisexact
location. He’s not really his target, MaMkhwanaziis. He just
needs Mazwi to spill out the truth, which is what he ran
away from.
Robyn stands up to go. “It was nice meeting you,
darling,” she says to me.
I force a smile, “Likewise.”
She grabs her Gucci purse and walks away. I watch her go,
she’s a mid-aged mixed raced woman, good looking and
definitely high in her confidence.
“Are you okay?” his voice pulls me back.
I look at him and nod. I’m okay, just feeling a bit weird. “Do
you want anything else or we should go?” he asks. “I will get
a burger for Nale,” I say.
He waits for me as I order. I know she will come back
from work pissed and blaming me because of her fall outwith
Nzalo. Honestly, I wouldn’t have guessed that Nzalowas
listening. I told Xolani about it but he didn’t seem to think it’s
a big deal and said he will talk with Nzalo when he comes.
I get her burger and chips and then we go.
.
.
.
.
I’m going to my place, I wasn’t moving out, I just neededhis
support for a moment. Now that Nale and I have ironed out
our issues I’m okay being in the same space as her, even
though she hasn’t apologized for calling him a sugardaddy.
He pulls up outside, Nale is already home, the windowsare
open.
“See you tomorrow, hopefully,” I say.
“Wait Nokuzola,” he says.
I sit still, looking at him.
“Are you sure that you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I say.
“I’m picking an energy shift. Can you be honest with
me?”
He won’t understand, intentionally. I don’t want to make
something out of nothing. After all, it’s all in my head. My
instincts could be wrong, maybe I’m just intimidated by
Robyn.
“I’m really okay,” I assure him.
He gives me a kiss and comes to open the door for me.He
kisses me again then I walk away.

I walk in, Nale is stretched on the couch.

“Did you see the time or you’re not going to work?” she
asks.
“I’m not, I took a day-off,” I say.
“But you didn’t go yesterday as well.”
“It’s not a big deal, my management is aware and they have
someone standing in.” I know she thinks I’m not caring for
my job but the truth is I’m exhausted. I work night shift five
days a week. Before I was in a relationship it was okay, but
now I really get exhausted.
“Maybe you should change to day shift,” she says.
“I will think about it.” I push her feet down to the floorand
sit. “I got you something to eat,” I say.
“Are you sure that you’re okay?” Same question.I
just sigh and rest my head on the couch.
She exclaims, “Robyn! You didn’t like her, right?”“Yoh!
Something is off, I swear,” I say.
“What happened?” She’s a natural mamgobhozi.
I sigh and sit up straight. I don’t mind not making sense
to her, I’ve listened to her nonsense since she was a kid.
“There is nothing specific but I’m getting a vibe that
those two know each other naked,” I say.
“Was he checking her out?” she asks.
“No, but he was trying too hard to keep the conversation
formal. So my thing is, this is one acquaintance that hasthe
privilege to call you numerous times and ask to see you. But
when you see her you want to call her Miss Robyn?”
“Oh, fuck. Did you confront him?”
“And said what, Nale?” I would’ve sounded stupid sayingall
this.
There’s an alert on my phone.
“It’s a bank notification,” I tell her Nale, turning thescreen to
her.
She reads the amount and her mouth drops.
Xolani is guilty as a fuck. This is the confirmation Ineeded.
“He’s smart,” Nale says.
His call follows. I can’t even describe how I feel.
Nale wants me to answer but I’m not sure what I’m going to
say to him. Do I ignore the red flags and act likenothing is
wrong?
“Hello,” I finally sum up courage to pick up.
“MaThabethe, I miss you,” he says.
I signal for Nale to keep quiet, she’s trying to tell me what to
say. Nale is an expert of everyone’s relationshipexcept her
own.
“You just saw me,” I say.
“Yeah but I felt like something made you upset.”“I’m
not upset. What is the money for?” I ask.
“Spoil yourself, you have a whole day tomorrow you cango
shopping,” he says.
“Thank you.” I can’t say no to money and I can’t
question his intentions because he often gives me
money.
“I love you, don’t ever doubt that,” he says. “I
love you too,” I say.
He ends the call. I can hear that he’s stressed out.
Nale would’ve probably preferred for me not to say I lovehim
back. But the truth is, I’m not going to attack him
without any proof, just because I feel like something has
happened between him and Robyn.
“Really?” Nale with a disapproving look.
“I can’t be mad until I have a solid reason to be.”She
claps her hands, “I thought I’ve seen it all!”
I’m definitely not going to overreact but I will keep my eyes
open. If there’s still something going on betweenthem I will
be hurt. I really love him. I don’t imagine myself out of that
relationship.
“Let me eat and go,” Nale says. “Where
are you going?” I’m lost.
“I have to talk to Nzalo, he’s still mad at me.”
Oh, she’s going to fix her relationship. Really, her!
“I bought you food and you want to leave me alone the
whole night?”
“Says someone who’s been gone for days.” She’s takesthe
burger and starts eating.
I shouldn’t have wasted Xolani’s money on her.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Nzalo’s anger is exaggerated but I’m going to be a bigger

person and apologize. I hope he’s here, not in
MaMkhwanazi’s house. The taxi drops me outside, I have to
call him to let me in. But he’s not picking up. It’sdark outside,
I’m getting cold. Zola would laugh if she saw this.
I call Msindisi and ask him to call him on my behalf. It doesn’t
take long before the gate opens. Thobile reallygave birth to a
drama king. He stands outside the doorwaiting for me.
“Hello,” I say walking up to him. “I
didn’t know you were outside.”
“Well, I’ve waited for over ten minutes in the cold.”
I walk in, he closes the door and follows me behind.
It smells like lamb curry here. I grab a chair in the
kitchen and sit. It’s warm here, he’s cooking.
“Did you talk to your uncle?” I ask.
“About what?” Now he’s forgotten why him and I are notin a
good place.
“Okay, your uncle wasn’t satisfied with how your
mother’s case ended. He’s got new team of
investigators looking into it.” I hope this won’t create
more tension between them.
He frowns, “My uncle? Since when does he care?”
“But it’s your stepmother he doesn’t get along with. Hewas
okay with your mom, right?”
“Yeah but my uncle wouldn’t just do something if he’s not
going to benefit from it. And another thing, the killerdied. So
what is in it for him?”
“He lost his sister-in-law,” I say.
“If his intentions were pure he would’ve informed her
family first. Not you and Zola because what business doyou
have with my mom?”
Isn’t she my mother-in-law?
“Why couldn’t you tell me yesterday?” he asks.
“It’s not my place, I’m only telling you because I wantyou to
stop calling me a garden lady,” I say.
“I really don’t like secrets, Nalenhle. If you’re going to keep
things from me, eyy I don’t know.” He shakes hishead and
turns to his cooking pot.
He’s still mad, so I let him be. He cooks silently and dishes
up for both of us. He’s not a bad cook, he reallytried. I just
wish we could eat with a good conversationgoing down.
“I said I’m sorry,” I say.
“Did you even mean it? You don’t care Nale, this is just agame
to you. Umjolo nje.”
“What have I done?” I’m not sure where this is coming
from. I have been very intentional with him.
Not even once have I made this a game.
“I want us to connect deeper than this on an emotionallevel
and that means we have to be open and honest with each
other,” he says.
You’d swear that I cheated on him.
On my side I feel like we’ve connected, as far as we could
have. I know who he is, I also believe for the lastfew days I’ve
also shown him who I am, the most vulnerable sides of me.
“I feel like I’ve done everything, what I haven’t given iswhat I
don’t have,” I say.
“I feel like there’s more to who you are,” he says.
I’m honestly bored by this conversation. Maybe it’s time Ilet
him nut, I think he’s sexually frustrated.

I strip my clothes off and get in bed only in my shapewear

bra and panties. I didn’t bring any sexy underwear because I
wasn’t prepared for what I’m aboutto do.
He comes out of the bathroom, already moisturized andin
his sleeping shorts.
I remove the duvet, his eyes land on my half nakednessand he
gasps.
“Hey,” I stand up.
He clears his throat, “I thought you are already asleep.”
“No, I’m waiting for you.” I wrap my arms around his
waist.
I love how he smells; I kiss his bare chest.
He takes in a deep breath, “Are you not tired?”
“No, I’m not.” I massage him around his waist.
I don’t think I’ve ever been with a man for so long
without knowing him in bed. We’ve spent so much time
together, shared a bed and cuddled so many nights, buthe’s
never rushed me or asked me to do anything.
I push my hand inside his shorts and finally grab his shaft. His
front package is big. I raise my eyes to him. His lips are
slightly parted. I kiss them, he opens his mouth to deepen
the kiss. I play with his shaft until he’sfully erected.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask.
“Mmmm.” His voice is too rough to come out.
I push him down to the bed and then open the drawers. Ifind
a sealed pack of condoms and take one.
He’s playing with his shaft, watching me tearing the condom
open. Before I put it on him, his phone disturbs.
“Just a second!” he wraps one arm around my waist and
answers.
I’m playing with his beard as he talks to the phone.
But I immediately stop when I hear that someone is crying. It’s
a phone call from MaMkhwanazi, I don’t knowwhy she’s
crying. Nzalo is also trying to find out exactly
that.
It’s fruitless, she called him to cry without explaining.“Love,”
he says, getting up.
I don’t think he’s going to leave me here. Never!“Nzalo?”
He grabs my face and kisses me.
“I don’t know what’s wrong, I will quickly go there andcheck
what’s going on.”
This is a joke! MaMkhwanazi is not a baby. Even if she’s
missing her late husband, she has friends and her church
community. Why is she calling Nzalo? She knows that I’m
here, Msindisi was with her when I called.
“And leave me here?” I ask. “We
can go together,” he says.
Unbelievable!
“I thought you wanted this?” I can’t believe he’s choosing his
stepmother’s tears over my good coochie.
“I want you. Look at this.” He shows me his erection.
“When we come back I promise, I will be fully inside youuntil
your legs tremble. I just have to see what’s
bothering ncane, I don’t want her to cry just after losingher
husband.”
I’m fighting a losing battle. No number of kisses is goingto
make up for this. MaMkhwanazi is doing this on purpose,
she knew that her tears would work on him.
“Nale,” he lifts up my face.
I’m getting in bed, with my clit throbbing and moist
coochie. MaMkhwanazi wins!

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 28
NALENHLE

He came back after midnight. I have really grown, I applaud

my maturity, because the old Nalenhle would’vesaved her
last crumb of dignity and left. But I covered my horny ass and
slept here. He’s awake now and he
thinks I’m going to open my legs for him after he walkedout
on me last night.
“Nale are you awake?” He's rubbing his thing againstme. His
hands are all over my ass.
“Yes,” I say, shifting away from him.He
chuckles. Great mood!
“Why are you running away?”
“Why are you touching me?”
“Because you’re beautiful. Can I…?” He shifts, closing the
space I created between us.
“What’s wrong?” he asks when I push him away.
I’m trying to be a better person, I don’t want to say hurtful
things to people. But this one deserves a fewinsults, because
what does he take me for?
“You really think I’m going to let you touch me after whatyou
did?”
He frowns, “What did I do?”
“Didn’t you abandon me for your mother yesterday?”
“But it was a family emergency, I thought you understood. I
even asked you to come with me and youchose to stay
behind.” He’s really stupid if he thinks I was okay.
“You made feel ashamed and cheap. No woman deserves
that, if you were not ready to have sex with meyou could’ve
just said so, not to leave me like a dirty whore and run home
because a 50 year old woman wascrying.”
“She’s not 50,” he interjects.
“I don’t care. It’s either you want to be with me or you want
to be your mother’s tear-wipe. Because clearly youhave to
choose, I won’t be disrespected Nzalo, you’re not going to
make me feel less valuable.” I worked too hard to build up
my confidence I’m not going to let a mama’s boy make me
doubt myself.
“I feel like you are fighting with me. And asking me to choose
between you and ncane is ridiculous. You can raise your
concerns without threatening our relationship,that’s not
fair,” he says.
“What is fair Nzalo? What you did yesterday?” I ask.
He releases a deep sigh. “I really didn’t think things
through, I can see how it must’ve came as an insult andI
apologize for that. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Ilove
you and the only reason I haven’t initiated sex is because I
wanted you to be ready.”
“I hear you, but I was ready yesterday, not today,” I say.
He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me, not
sparing me a blink.
My phone rings, it’s Msindisi. A bit strange, we don’t justcall
each other, let alone at 6am in the morning.
“Your brother is calling me. Is your phone off?” I ask.“No,
maybe he wants you,” he says.
I’m hesitant, but I answer. Guess what, it’s not Msindisibut the
famous ncane.
“I almost trusted you Nalenhle,” that’s her. She’s not
greeting me, not asking if I’m comfortable talking to herso
early in the morning.
“How long have you been scheming with Xolani?”I’m
shocked, to say the least. “I don’t understand.”
“I know that you have been going behind my son’s back,
scheming with his uncle over madness. Did you know
Thobile?” She’s very angry and I can’t have my dayruined by
the Hadebes so early in the morning.
I drop the call, Nzalo has sat up.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
I get out of bed. I’m ready to go, this chaos is not for me.I
have a lot going on in my own family.
“You told your stepmother,” I’m calm as I can be.
“It wasn’t to set you up, I was just venting,” he says.
“Go and vent to her again, I’m gone.” I’m not even goingto
take a shower. I’m requesting a cab and going to my place. I
love him, God knows I do. But I can’t tolerate
this, it won’t work if he doesn’t create boundaries with
MaMkhwanazi. I’m not in a relationship with her, so I don’t
expect her to confront me about my relationshipquarrels.
“Nale, wait!” He grabs my arm and pulls me back. “I’m
begging you, let’s talk about this.”
Grabbing someone and restricting their movements is not
begging. He’s forcing me to stand and listen to himwhereas
I’m not interested in his apology or whatever.
“I was wrong and you have every reason to be mad. I
wasn’t thinking, I shouldn’t have…”
“I don’t care Nzalo. You were thinking, this is who youare,” I’m
not interested, I want to leave.
“It’s not who I am, I should’ve thought things through.”He’s
lying, he did think things through.
“This is exactly why your uncle started an investigation
behind your back. He knew that you don’t care about your
real mother, and you’re proving him right. What’s sobad
about him trying to get to the bottom of your mother’s
death?”
“I didn’t say it’s bad,” he says.
“So why did you need to vent if it’s not bad?”
“Because he went behind my back,” he says. “How
long have your mother been dead? What
questions did you ask after her killer suddenly died? Moved
out of her house, went to live with her husband’s new
woman and forgot about her. Now you are angry because
someone is doing what you failed to do for yourmother.” I
can’t believe I’m actually defending Mr X. Not so long ago I
was on MaMkhwanazi's side. It takes
nothing from the abuse she says she suffered, this timeMr X
hasn’t done anything wrong.
He lets go of my arm. “I’m not going to argue with youon
that matter because you don’t know how far we’vecome.
My uncle is probably digging for something he can use
against ncane.”
“Are these your words or MaMkhwanazi? Does he thinkyour
mother’s death investigation is about her?” I don’t think I’ve
met more self-absorbed individuals.
He can’t answer, MaMkhwanazi definitely said this, she’s
making this about her and not about Thobile’s justice. I’m
just surprised that Nzalo would also think hermother’s death
investigation is to make his stepmother look bad.
.
.
.
Zola is home, she’s really getting less driven about making
her own money. I understand that working is notsomething
anyone wants to do, if living didn’t need money most of us
wouldn’t bother. But before Mr X she had goals, she was
going to buy her own car and gets Thami to college. Mr X is
not motivating her to be her best individual and it will be too
late when she realizes how comfortable she’s gotten with
him doing things for her.
“Are you going to work today?” I ask.
“Hello to you too Nale. How was your night?” She’sdodging
the question.
I sit down and grab the box of cookies from her. I leftNzalo's
house without eating.
“Horrible!” I say.
“What happened?”
“Didn’t I offer him sex and got turned down?”Her
pupils dilate, she’s shocked.
“Not right away, he was ready for it, I was getting the
condom really excited. Then boom, MaMkhwanazi called
him crying and he left me right there. I never
thought our first time attempting to have sex would endlike
that.”
“You’re lying! First time?” She’s more shocked.
This is the longest I’ve ever gone dating a guy and not
having sex with him.
“You guys have never...?” She does a sex hand gesture.
“No, we’ve never,” I say.
“But you’re always spending nights together.”
As unbelievable as it may sound but even the lie
detector would agree with me.
“We sleep facing different directions or just cuddle,” Isay.
“Why? There’s no sexual attraction?” She looks ratherworried.
I laugh, “We were just getting to know each other better.”
“I was going to feel bad for him. Now, why was MaMkhwanazi
crying? Was she getting attacked byrobbers or what?”
I roll my eyes, “She was missing their father.”
“Doesn’t she have widow support groups? She’s weird,
together with Nzalo.”
“Exactly! I told him to choose because I’m not going to come
second to MaMkhwanazi. Knowing that I can be left dry
whenever she decides that she needs him over. Ihave plenty
guys asking me out, I’m not desperate.”
“But she’s unfair to him,” she says.
“No, she didn’t drag him out. He’s old enough to know how
to balance out his relationships. Msindisi was therewith her, I
don’t know what made him think MaMkhwanazi was more
important than me. Or she’s giving him something I’m not
giving him?”
Zola’s mouth drops open. “Don’t say that! I don’t
think…gosh, my mind. I can’t even imagine it.”
It might sound crazy but the world is a wicked place.
What other good reason was there if Nzalo wasn’t going to
get something even better?
Anyway, I need to take a bath and head to work. I might grab
a drink on my way back. It’s been a long time since I let loose,
being with Nzalo has made me start behaving like a
housewife.
.
.
.
My relationship with MaKhoza has grown for the better.
Even though she’s a cold person, I also think I’m thetype that
judges people. I don’t like her as my line
manager but I like her as a mother and a woman. I loveher
stories during lunch break, I love how uptight she looks
even when she’s being funny. I want to grow up and be like
her, she’s my new role model.
“I can’t wait to see her tomorrow,” I think out loud.
The guy next to me looks at me and chuckles. “It goes
down very well when it’s icy cold.”
I don’ like small talks, with strangers in particular. We arenot
drinking buddies, we are just on the same table because the
rest are full.
“I have never seen you around here. Do you come
often?” He really wants my attention.
The voice comes behind him, “No, she doesn’t.”
I lift my eyes to Mr X. In the same place, at the same
time again? Last time we met like this he made me cryat a
stranger’s funeral. I had no ill feeling towards him back
then, I even thought he had a great voice and smelled
really nice.
“Hi,” he says, now you can feel the tension between us
from a distance.
“We meet here again. Waiting for a client?” I’m trying tobe
cool with him.
“No, I was just checking in,” he sits.
I don’t know when the guy left. Him and I haven’t seen eye
to eye ever since I carried out that crying gig and heended up
blocking me after I got into the mess.
“Nice to see you again. Who broke your heart this time?”he
asks.
“Nobody,” I shrug.
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“I’m just having a drink, I had a long day at work.” It’s
really not that hard to understand.
I wanted peace, I didn’t want any Hadebe on my face.
“Should I call Nzalo to come and pick you up?”
This is it, I’m reporting him to the manager. I raise myhand for
the bartender.
He comes over, Mr X is just staring at me.“Can I
help?” the bartender asks.
“Please get this mature gentleman another table.”
He looks at Mr X, then back at me. It doesn’t look like he
understands what I just said.
“Him,” I point at Mr X.
“Siya gets back to work,” Mr X says.
And just like that, my case is unattended.
Is this how they treat their high profile customers here?Oh
no, wait!
I look at Mr X, “Do you know own this place?” “No, a
good friend of mine owns it.” How modest!
I’m so stupid, I should’ve known, he fuckin’ owns it.“I
need a favor,” he says.
No, not happening again! I don’t care what it is.“I
don’t like you,” I remind him.
“I’m not asking you to like me, I’m sure you have reasons
that you’ve validated for not liking me. It’s forthe ongoing
case, you know which,” he says.
Can I get away from the Hadebe drama? Sigh.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Keep Nzalo busy, keep him away from his mother.”
“MaMkhwanazi?” I ask.
“Yes, keep him away from her,” he says.
I’m tipsy, I just break into laughter. I won’t lie though, it’svery
cute that he thinks I can do that.
“I’m sorry Mr X, but I can’t do it. Nzalo loves MaMkhwanazi
way too much. He’d rather dump me thanto stay away from
her,” I tell him.
“I told him everything, just about an hour ago, he cameto
fight me. I know he’s going to tell her everything,
that’s why I need you to keep him distracted,” he says.
“Him and I are not even on talking terms. We had a fight last
night about her, Nzalo left me at night and went to her
because she called him crying. There’s no way I cando this
one, I will lose him.” I hate losing, I know this onewon’t
favour me.
“You had them going to Thobile’s house, cooking and
spending time there. You can make them do anything,you
just have to acknowledge how powerful your voiceis over
them,” he says.
“Mr X, I’m telling you, Nzalo will never stay away from
MaMkhwanazi,” I wish he can listen to me and drop this.
“It’s either that or this whole investigation is a waste oftime.
MaMkhwanazi has been in contact with Mazwi’s
family, deep down in your heart you know that she’s nota
good woman, she just twisted your mind a little bit to have a
soft spot in your heart using your traumas.”
“I really don’t want to keep getting involved in your family
drama. What if he’s already told her?” I ask.
“He hasn’t, he’s with Nokuzola right now waiting for youto
come back so that he can fix things with you,” he says.
He’s putting me in a very difficult position and from how he
moved after the last gig, I shouldn’t be doing any more
favours for him. But I do want justice to be served.
“Alright, I will try,” I say.
“Thank you very much, I will take care of your bill.” He
stands up, fixes the collar of his white shirt and steps
away.
“How is Robyn?” I ask.
Zola will hate me for this.
He bats his eyes twice, “Pardon?”
“Miss Robyn, how is she?” I repeat.
“I believe she’s fine wherever she is.” His tone becomesthicker
and deeper.
I bless him with a smile, he returns a frown. I’m just giving
him the heads-up, Zola is not someone that givessecond
chances, if he messes this up it’s done, no morefood
deliveries for us.
I have to go and hear what Nzalo has to say for himself.
.
.
.
ZOLA

I don’t think he is everything the current situation makeshim

to be. I can see the remorse in his eyes.
Unfortunately Nale overreacts to situations, I knew whenthe
clock hit 6pm and she wasn’t here that she passed
somewhere to have a drink. That’s the heartbroken Nale, the
Nale we had before he came along. She’s been very stable
and focused since she got involved
with him, more than anything that’s why I like him.

My phone beeps, it’s a text from Xolani. He just saw Nale in

a pub and he wants me to know that he loves me with all his
heart. This is very sweet of him, I send him hearts then try to
call Nale. It’s getting late and it’snot really that safe on the
streets since she’s using public transport.
“I’m on my way!” she screams on the phone.
She’s definitely drunk.
“She’s on her way,” I tell Nzalo.
He sighs, “Thank God! I can’t believe I pushed her into
darkness again. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Maybe you need to create boundaries, like your family
can’t call you when you’re with your partner unless
there’s an emergency,” I say.
“Probably, but ncane is fragile, she will feel some type ofway
and I really don’t want to offend her. She raised mysister and
Msindisi, she really came through for us.”
“But that’s what a good wife does, especially if she married a
man who just lost his wife. You don’t owe heranything but
gratitude. My cousin is dramatic, if you don’t draw the line
this will turn out ugly.” Nale was
already talking about other guys who are asking her out,this
relationship could bloom but all that lies in how Nzalo carries
himself as a man.

The door opens, this means she was already close by.“You
didn’t go to work again?” She’s walking in.
I’m still waiting for a shift change, I informed my
management that I no longer want to work at night. I’m
waiting for them to come back to me with a solution.
“No, I didn’t,” I say.
She throws down her bag, completely ignores Nzalo.
It’s weird when they’re fighting, I’m always in the middle of
it. She’s my cousin and Nzalo is a really cool guy, andXolani’s
nephew on top of that.
“I asked Mr X about Robyn, has he said anything?”
WTF? I told her I want to deal with this in a very calm
manner. I’m not her, I don’t do things like that. This
explains his text message.
“You’re so annoying. I didn’t ask you to do that,” I’mmad.
But she’s a bit tipsy, she’s laughing at me. Even if they were
doing something behind my back now they will beextra
careful because of her loose mouth.
“I wanted to see how he’d react and he looked shaken,”she
says.
“Nale, your whole relationship is threatened by a granny,yet
you’re all over my business. You want to confront
Xolani about Robyn but you can’t ask Nzalo here, straight up,
if there’s anything going on between him andMaMkhwanazi.”
I don’t see her putting the same energy in her relationship.
“Whaaat?”- Nzalo, in shock.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 29 NALENHLE

Nzalo has flipped the script, now he’s mad at me. But guess
what, I don’t care. Zola is also mad at me for asking Mr X
about Robyn, protective mother hen. She wants to wait
until he comes home with a lipstick on hisshirt. I can’t deal
with all this drama.
“You can’t sleep,” he says. I
open my eyes, “Why not?”
“Because I asked you a question. Do you think I’m
sleeping with my mother?”
“She’s not your mother, shut up!” I want to sleep.
He shuts his eyes, his jaw twitches. Then he takes adeep
breath.
“Don’t ever use that tone with me, I don’t drink alcohol.”He
stands up and puts his jacket on.
He’s now more angry than I thought, fuelled by me
telling him to shut up. What I don’t understand is what
alcohol has to do with any of this? What did it do to him?
.
.
.

I wake up and check the time. It’s 15 minutes earlier

than my alarm. Damn, I slept on the couch. My neck is
killing me. I can’t believe Nzalo didn’t take me to the
bedroom. Umh, where is he?
Zola comes out of her bedroom with a broom.
“Nzalo left?” I ask.
She’s humming a song, walking past me without
acknowledging me.
What’s up with the attitude?
“Did you go to work?” I ask.
No answer.
I guess we are beefing again.
“What did I do?” I don’t remember shit, I was drunk. “You
told Xolani about Robyn, now for sure he knows
that I have a problem. It wasn’t your place, I told you that
I was going to watch until I’m sure what’s going. Now Ilook
insecure and stupid.” She’s on a full rant. I don’t even
remember what exactly I said to Mr X.
“I’m sorry, but I’m sure I meant well. I’d never doanything to
harm your relationship,” I say.
“Oh please!” She doesn’t believe me.“Did I
talk to Nzalo?” I ask.
“I told him that you think he’s sleeping with MaMkhwanazi,
he got angry and you really didn’t care. Idon’t know when he
left but I know he was also fed up, just like I am.”
So I was ruining relationships yesterday? That’s all I did.
I don’t remember my conversation with Mr X in detailsbut
I remember what he asked me to do. I came homeon a
mission, I wasn’t supposed to let Nzalo go home angry.
Now there’s a possibility that he’s told MaMkhwanazi
everything.
“Mr X asked me to keep him distracted.” I have messedthis
up.
“And you’re keeping him stressed,” she says.
This is a mess. My phone? I look for it in my bag, luckilyI
didn’t lose it.
I call his phone, silently praying that he picks up.
“Hey,” he answers.
“Hey…umh, where are you?” I’m so nervous, he calledme
the garden lady the last time we fought.
“I’m at the gym,” he says, surprisingly very calm.
I look at Zola. What should I say? She just gives me aplain
stare.
“I’m sorry about last night. Can I take you out for
breakfast?”
Zola’s eyes widen. I’m definitely going out of my monthly
budget, no where did I stash extra cash to take a man out.
“Yes,” he agrees.
“Pick me up in an hour, whatever restaurant you chooseit’s on
me.” God I pray he at least chooses Pie City to grab a mutton
pie and juice.
“What if he already went to MaMkhwanazi?” I’m stressed, I
could be wasting my maturity and money onthis guy.
“I talked to him last night, unless MaMkhwanazi renewedher
spell on him, he didn’t go to her house,” Zola says.
“You think she put a spell on him?” I’m gobsmacked.
“I’m joking,” she rolls her eyes. “But what if she did? Nzalo
was ready to chop you into pieces for embarrassing her at
the funeral but when it comes to hisown mother he doesn’t
even care whether the sun comes from east or west. He was
grown when she died,tell me any sane first-born son, a
prince of his mother’s womb, who’d close his mother’s
beautiful house and go warm another woman’s own.”
“It’s weird, they literally jump whenever she calls and goto
her. One time Msindisi left because she’d seen a lizard. She
knows they adore her and she manipulates
them.” I should’ve paid more attention to it. Zola may be
wrong about the spell thing but MaMkhwanazi is
definitely taking advantage of Thobile’s children’s loveand
vulnerability towards her.

She’s waiting for breakfast delivery. Mr X is making upfor

whatever happened last night. I’m going to take a break
from alcohol and deal with my problems heads-on.
My phone rings, it’s my uncle.
Zola was supposed to go home for that ritual we talked
about and she didn’t go. I also didn’t go, there’s a lot going
on. I don’t know what I’m going to tell him so I justignore.
Zola comes back, not only with a breakfast basket but with a
man in a suit also. Mr X, if I’m not mistaken this isthe first
time he steps inside our house.
“Good morning,” he greets, his other hand is holding
Zola’s.
“Hi,” I’m still in the clothes I wore yesterday, lying on thecouch
where I slept.
“She passed out but they are going out for breakfast,” Zola
becomes my mouth piece.
“I didn’t pass out but thanks. I have to take a bath.” I leave
them to have space to kiss and blind each otherwith
money gifts and sweet words.
.
.
.
ZOLA

I’m still mad at Nale but she was drunk, so it won’t hold
anyway. Xolani is here, looking worried. He was assuring
me all night that he loves me. Something I haven’t said I
doubt. It’s making him look guilty in my eyes, because why
is he panicking if there’s nothing going on.
“Can we talk in the car?” he asks after Nale leaves.
“Yeah, sure.” I leave my breakfast on the table.
It’s Saturday but he’s got a meeting to attend. He looks
handsome in his slim fit suit, smelling good and deceptive.
We get inside the car, he starts by softeningme up with a
deep kiss.
“I miss you, the house is very cold without you,” he says.
“But I can’t be there everyday.” I’m smiling, even though
there’s something suspicious going on I can’t deny the love in
his eyes when he’s looking at me.
“You can be,” he says.
“Really? How?” I ask.
“I can have a conversation with Thabethe,” he says.I
laugh out loud. “You don’t know my dad.”
He’d never allow something like that to happen, let alone now
that he’s got all the wrong impressions about who
Xolani is.
“I’d know him if you allow the conversation to happen,”he
says.
“Well, you can try but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” I say.He
smiles, “Don’t worry, I won’t go there myself.”
A moment of silence passes. His smile disappears, he’sstill
staring at me.
If he doesn’t say anything, I’m not going to say anything
either.
“Are we 100% okay?” he asks.
“Yes, we are,” I say.
He takes a deep breath, “I love you, Nokuzola. But I have a
past just like everyone else. I’d expect you to letme know if
you’re uncomfortable with something or not happy so that I
can make changes. We cannot do this ifyou’re going to boil
things up.”
“I’m confused Xolani, what are you talking about?” I ask.
“I’m asking if there’s anything making you uncomfortable,
you can be honest with me,” he says.
“No. Is there anything you think I’m not comfortable
with?” I ask.
“Maybe Robyn, I know you had some concerns, which I
thought I cleared at the time. So I don’t know if you’re still
not satisfied.” He’s a smooth talker, I will always givehim his
flowers.
“I’m okay, you said she’s helping you with the case,” Isay.
“You’re impossible!” He sighs, leaning back against theseat
looking frustrated.
Maybe he has something to tell me because there’snothing on
my side. I have been very peaceful and minding my own
business.
“As soon as this is over she won’t need to be in contactwith
me. She has her own businesses that she’s running, I
honestly asked her for this task because I’ve known her for
quite a long time. I know her personally, Iknow she wouldn’t
betray me.”
“Mmmm,” I nod, understanding what he’s saying. He’s
known her, personally, for a very long time but he callsher
Miss Robyn when they’re in front of me as if their
relationship is formal.
“You can ask me questions if you have any,” he says.
I laugh, “Xolani are you okay? You’re acting very weird.”
“I know you’ve said some things to Nale, maybe youdon’t
trust me.”
“I trust you, you haven’t given me any reason not to,” Isay.
“Thank you,” he sighs with relief.
I side-eye him. “So, how personal do you know her?”He
frowns, “Who?"
"Robyn, how personal is your relationship?” “Oh,
we have some mutual friends,” he says.
“I will say this again Xolani, I’m going to be your safe space.
I have opened my heart for you, I love you and Iwill stand
with you through thin or thick. I’m a very calmperson, I use
my head and I always think before I
talk….”
He doesn’t let me finish, “I won’t change that, I promise.
Nothing has ever happened between her and I since you and
I got together.”
Wow! I’m dumbstruck.
“I’m committed to you,” he says.
“But something was happening before me, so basically
you’re working with your ex on this investigation?” I ask.
“We were not together so she’s not my ex. We casually
hooked up, I was alone, I needed company from time to
time. Right now I swear nothing is happening and
nothing will ever happen again,” he says.
I believe him but I don’t know how to feel. If they hookedup
to me they’re exes. He still has his ex in his life, she calls him
anytime of the day and request that they meet up. I trust
him but I don’t trust her.
“Your lip is trembling,” he says.
I fold it between my teeth and look at him.
He smiles, “You’re so beautiful. Sometimes I pat my own
shoulders and congratulate myself, I really chose well, I will
have beautiful babies.”
“Uyazincengela nje,” I know him.
“Maybe I am, but you’re beautiful either way. I hopeThabethe
won’t be too hard on me.”
“Wait, are you serious about meeting my dad?” I thoughthe
was just pulling my leg.
“I’m too old to fool around Nokuzola,” he says.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I know as soon as I see the beach and white people pulling up

next to us that he’s fucked me up. They aregoing to charge me
for the food, looking at the beach
through their windows, listening to the soft music playingand
for simply breathing. We haven’t talked about what
happened, he’s talking to me but his mood is dark.
We get a seat, even our waitress is white, all my moneyis
gone here.
“Can I have a cup of cappuccino while looking at the
menu?” he asks the waitress.
I’m stuck on “while looking at the menu”, does this meanhe’s
going to order another cup later?
I choose toast, egg and pork sausage. It’s the cheapest
breakfast on the menu. On his side I don’t know what is
taking so long. His cappuccino arrives, he still needs twomore
minutes before submitting his order.
I’m just a general worker who doesn’t have a dad. I have a
book ID, my life already has a lot of challenges, I hope he
takes that into consideration.
He calls the waitress, I’m expecting to hear him ordering
muffins.
“Creamy chicken livers on toast, smoked salmon trout,
grilled tomatoes and…”
This is it, I’m finished! Salmon on top of chicken livers.
“Two fried eggs. I will have another cup of cappuccino,”he
adds.
Even the waitress is dizzy when she leaves our table, hejust
ordered the whole kitchen.
“You sure eat a lot,” I say, in pain.
“I’m a man, I have to eat,” he says.
A moment of silence passes. He’s looking at his phone.
“I really wanted to apologize about yesterday, that’s whyI
brought you here. I overreacted and said things I shouldn’t
have said,” I say.
“Do you really think I’m sleeping with ncane?”
“Umh, not really. But you have a weird relationship,” Isay.
“I feel like what you did and said was unnecessary. I could’ve
understood if you just said it to me but you saidit to Zola,
how do you think that makes me look?”
“Trust me, Zola will keep her mouth shut, I was justranting,” I
say.
“You went overboard,” he says.
“I know and I’m sorry. Did you tell her?”He
frowns, “Who?”
“MaMkhwanazi. Did you tell her about our argumentand
what your uncle is doing?”
“No, I went to my house and slept,” he says.
“You’re growing up!” I softly clap for him.
“Stop making me look like a spineless boy.” He’soffended.
But I’m truly proud of him, there’s progress.
“I’m sad about how things turned out the other night. I did a
lot of introspection and I realized my mistakes. CanI make it
up to you, tonight?”
“Yes, but on one condition,” I say.“Anything,”
he says.
“The bill is on you.”
He finally laughs. I’m not joking though, he needs to payfor
this breakfast, I didn’t bring the right card anyway. I have

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 30
NALENHLE
I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited about sex. I’m looking
forward to it, that’s why I requested a cab and came to town
after he dropped me off. I’m looking for a sexy lingerie and
some Stoney to drink. It’s always beenmy favorite drink, I like
it more with black halls. I don’t know where Zola went with
Mr X, they’re probably making out somewhere in his
luxurious properties. She would’ve helped me choose the
right colour. Sex freaks define red as affection-seeking,
passionate and ready tobe dominated. It resonates more with
my mood for
tonight, unlike black that symbolizes a tigeress, open to
BDSM and taking lead. I want no BDSM bullshit and I
definitely don’t want to take any lead. I have a problem
with my waist, it doesn’t move the way it’s supposed to
move so I stay away from woman-on-top. I decide to
take the red one, hopefully this man will give me plenty
orgasms. We have waited for a very long time. I feel likea
virgin in a way, I haven’t had sex in over two months.
Maybe a second-hand virgin.

I grab a snack and head home. I want to fit it and practice

my sexy screams in advance. I try getting hold of Zola but her
phone rings unanswered. A very uselesscousin! I could’ve
used someone’s opinion.
The taxi drops me off, I cross the road and when I raisemy
eyes I almost faint. My uncle in flesh! I ignored his call in the
morning, I sent him to voicemail and blueticked his wife’s
texts. I can’t bluetick him in personand one thing I know for
sure, he’s not here to play withus.
“Hi malume,” I greet nervously.
“You are alive,” he says in a dry sarcastic manner.“Umh yes,
let’s get inside.” I’m nervous.
My uncle can shout until your ears ache. I know he’sabout to
give me some home training.
We get inside, I clear the couch and offer him a seat.“Should I
get you something to drink?” I ask.
“You can sit down,” he says. I
sit, silently reciting a prayer.
“I was going to call you back,” I say.
“When Nalenhle? You know I was expecting you home
yesterday, I told you how important the ritual is, and youjust
chose to ignore everyone and go out shopping.”
“I thought Zola was going to come,” I say.
“This needs you, not Nokuzola. If Nokuzola was neededI
would’ve invited her,” he’s mad.
“So you didn’t do it?” I ask.
“Without you? No,” he says.
“I’m really sorry, if I knew it was that important I would’ve
came. Why should I be present? Will it help me find my dad?”
I ask.
He takes a deep breath, “Maybe, who knows!”
“Can we postpone to next week? It’s already Sunday
tomorrow, I’m going to work Monday.”
He nod, “Make sure you come home Nalenhle.”
“Are you sleeping over?” I pray he says otherwise, Ihave
a very important night planned.
“I will go home early tomorrow morning. Do you have
extra blankets?”
Damn, after all the preparations I’ve mad!
I get him bread and scrambled eggs, with juice.
“Your landlord needs to fix this ceiling, you pay a lot of
money here.” He’s forgiven me, he’s cool now. We are
chatting and laughing.
I hear a car pulling up but I don’t pay attention becauseI’m
holding a conversation. Well, it’s Zola with shoppingbags
weighing down her arms. I would’ve warned her but she
hasn’t been reachable on her phone.
Car keys, expensive shopping and Mr X’s leatherjacket?
She’s in big trouble.
.
.
.
ZOLA

My dad is in town, I’m shocked. I saw Nale’s calls, maybe

she wanted to warn me. I’m just glad Xolani wasn’t here. I
went to Ballito for shopping, he last sentme money to
spoil myself and I didn’t use it. I’m still using his car, he
hasn’t said anything about wanting it
back. I’m not sure how I’m going to explain the situation to
him. The last time I saw him I was climbing in Xolani’scar,
walking out of the family lunch.
“Hello everyone,” I sit down.
Nale’s face sympathizes with me. I don’t know why he’shere
but they’ve probably talked about it.
“How are you?” he asks.
“I’m fine baba,” I’m anxious, he looks way too calm.
“Your mother and I didn’t know that you have bought acar.
Can I see it?”
Nale gets up and excuses herself to her room. I can tellthat
he knows that it’s not my car. If I was Nale I would’ve lied
my way out but I’m not creative.
“It’s not mine,” I say.
“Is it a company car or you hired it?”
“None of the above. It’s Xolani’s car.”
For a moment he’s quiet, I can’t tell what his reaction isgoing
to be.
Eventually he sighs deeply and asks, “What is the
problem Nokuzola?”
“I don’t understand, what is baba talking about?” I ask.
“Your recent behavior, what is the reason behind it? Idon’t
understand who you are, you’re doing strange things I
wouldn’t have expected from you,” he says.
“Maybe you should expect strange things from me too
because I’m also a child to you. I’m going to make
mistakes and behave in ways you don’t approve of,” Isay.
“I never said don’t make mistakes,” he says.
“But that’s how you act, like I’m supposed to be perfect all
the time. It’s fine though, I won’t question you because
you’re an elder and I’ve never been a parent before.” I wasn’t
prepared for this conversation, I thoughtwe’d arrange and sit
down with a third person to mediate.
“I don’t know why you are not happy with me, I believe when
you’re ready you will tell me. But I will say this, it’s
disappointing to see you turning out like this. If Xolani is the
same man who picked you up, then I’m disappointedin you
and mostly I’m disappointed in him. Because someone his
age should know better. I’d never see someone your age and
think of having a relationship
with them. I’d expect someone around my age to lookout
for my daughter, not take advantage of her.”
“Dad! He’s not taking advantage of me.” I hate thatXolani
gets misjudged because of his age.
“I’m a man, I know my gender more than you. All this he’s
doing is just to lure in, but you’re a grown girl and Isee you
don’t need any advices. Hopefully you will remember your
mother’s teachings and at least not fallpregnant or get
diseases.”
Xolani loves me, I can see it in his eyes, he shows it in
different ways. But I’m not going to convince my father
that, he will see it when he gets to know Xolani, if he ever
gives him a chance.
“Is mom okay?” I ask.
“She’s okay, just worried about you two because youhave
the tendency of not answering your phones,” hesays.
“And my aunt?” I ask.
“She’s also okay, stubborn here and there but we manage,”
he says. My dad has sacrificed a huge part ofhis life into
taking care of his sister. I know at some pointhe wanted a lot
of children but circumstances didn’t allow him to have them.
My mom has to take care of hissister 24/7, after Thami they
stopped having babies because it would’ve been a lot of
responsibilities.
“I will cook since you are here,” I say.
“You don’t have to burn yourself, Nalenhle gave me bread.”
He knows how much I hate cooking. It’s mostlythe reason why
I couldn’t get a man back in the village,I’m too lazy.
.
.
.
I’m busy cutting veges, someone is at the door. I check,it’s a
delivery guy. Xolani needs to tone it down a bit.
“I have a delivery for Nalenhle Thabethe.”
Oh, it’s not for me. I get inside and call Nale.
I thought it was another Shein delivery but she seemsjust as
confused.
She takes the parcels and signs. I’m curious to see whatit is. I
hope it’s something that’s going to put her in
trouble. Dad is watching TV and he really gifts,especially
from men.
“Did Nzalo send you something?” I ask.
She’s unboxing, too excited to answer. The first one is aring
light. Nale loves taking pictures, she’s already on cloud nine.
But the sender still remains a mystery.
Next is a box of iPhone. If it was me I would’ve quietly
celebrated and then hid it until dad is gone. But no, not
Nale.
“It’s a 14 Pro Max!” she screams for everyone to hear.
She turns it around, we have to check if the apple is
bitten. Indeed, it’s an original.
“We are going to take pictures,” I say.
“No, I’m going to take pictures,” says the same person who’s
been posing inside Xolani’s car, eating my food and saving
her rent money. Now she wants to enjoy hergift alone.
“Call him and say thank you,” I advise.
“I think I won these, Nzalo doesn’t buy me things.”
“Did you enter a competition?” I ask.
“Maybe I did and forgot. But let me confirm with him.”
She takes her old phone and calls Nzalo.
She puts him on loudspeaker, unlike me she’s not that
uncomfortable with my dad when it comes to her personal
business. I’m sure he can hear this commotion
but he’s not putting the same energy he put in the carmatter.
“Hey, did you buy me anything and had it delivered tome?”
she asks.
“About a week ago,” he says.
“An iPhone and ring light?”
“Yeah, so you wouldn’t follow the sun direction to take
pictures,” he says.
She laughs, “Oh my word! I’m so happy, thank you somuch.”
She drops the call an looks at the iPhone again. She’sreally
surprised.
“I can’t believe this, I never thought I’d be an iPhone andring
light owner at such a young age!” She’s fighting back tears.
This life has no balance.
When it’s me receiving things from Xolani she starts
preaching about independence and how women easily lose
themselves when materialistic things are involved ina
relationship. But today she’s crying the Nile river because of
an iPhone.
“Are you not scared of losing your independence?” I ask.
“I need to take an insurance for it.” She lifts it to her lipsand
kisses.
Hypocrisy! But I’m happy for her. I’m not a cameraperson
but I will have a good quality picture when I
finally decide to change my profile picture on Facebook.
.
.
.

It’s dinner time, I tried to use less seasoning because my

dad hates certain spices and salt. I wouldn’t call myself a
good cook but at least they are not eating rawfood. Nale is
busy taking pictures, that’s what she’s been doing since the
iPhone came.
She turns the camera, “Malume smile.”
“I’m eating Nalenhle,” he doesn’t like camera that much.
Nale takes pictures anyway. We are going to have avery
long night, I tell you.
“Nzalo didn’t even warn me, I would’ve bought new
clothes if I knew he bought me an iPhone,” she blabbersout
of excitement.
Dad raises his brows, “A boy got you this phone?”I
pick my juice and sippppp.
“Umh…did I say that?” she fakes amnesia.
“Delete all my pictures in that phone!”
Nale is too forward, she could’ve easily slept on herexcitement
and did all this tomorrow.
“Hawu malume, I won this phone,” she says.
“I said delete my pictures. Is this food I’m eating
sponsored by men?”
I don’t know why he’s looking at me now, this is abouthis
niece.
“Is this what you two left home for?” He’s directing it tome.
“But it’s Nale who had a man buying her an expensivephone.”
“Are you not driving a man’s car also?” He brings that up
again. He can’t just address Nale’s behavior directly.
“I can take the phone back,” Nale says.
“No, you’re sleeping here! You two act like you weren’traised
properly. You’re now those type of girls that menblind with
money to get what they don’t have. It’s very disappointing.
Susa lento phambi kwami.” He pushes away the plate half
eaten.
He thinks a man bought us grocery. Well, Xolani actuallydid.
But why is he making a big deal out of it? Mom was also once
someone’s daughter.
“If I could, I’d change my surname,” he says, leaving the
room.
It was all coming great until Nale’s mouth ruinedeverything.
“You could’ve just hidden the phone until tomorrow,” Isay.
She glances around and then leans over. “I need to seeNzalo
tonight, I premised him something.”
I’m not getting involved, all the blame will be on me
when her uncle wakes up and doesn’t see her.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 31
NALENHLE

Come high water, come hell, tonigh I’m getting laid. My

uncle is watching TV after throwing a tantrum, his wife has
already blown Zola’s phone up. She’s received a long lecture
about older men. I know I’m not in his good books but I have
packed my overnight bag and glammed myself up, I’m going
to Nzalo’s house. I did tellmy uncle that I’m dating, going for
sleep-overs is part of dating. I’m going to tell him straight up,
Zola refused to cover up if I sneak out.
He looks at me as I walk in, slaying in a red bodycondress.
“Is your team winning?” I’m trying to neutralize the
mood.
“No,” he says.
Bad luck for me, his mood is already sour because of the
stupid players. What’s hard about kicking the ball straight
ward until it reaches the net?
“Do you remember when I told you about Nzalo?” I ask.“I
don’t know anyone by that name,” he denies.
“My boyfriend, malume,” I say.
He sighs and shifts his eyes back to the TV.
I know he’s going to rant about it. The difference
between me and Zola is that I’ve been rebellious mywhole life,
I’m used to him being scorned.
“He asked me to visit him, it’s his late father’s birthday. So I
might probably not see you when you leave.” I openmy purse
to bribe him.
“This is for your taxi fee,” I say.
He looks at it, “I have my own money Nalenhle.”
“Okay, another one. Give it to aunty to buy sugar.” I givehim
R50, I know Zola’s mom won’t say no to money, even if I got
it by laying on my back.
“I love you, bye!” I pick my bag and wave at him.
“How are you going at this time?” Now he’s concerned.“We
have cabs here,” I say.
“Still not safe, if that boy loves you as much as you thinkhe
does, he would’ve fetched you here to make sure
that you’re safe.”
“He’s scared of you,” I say.
“Why? Ngidla abantu yini?” He’s asking the obvious, ofcourse
he eats people, that’s why Zola is hiding in her room.
“Call when you arrive,” he says.
The first step towards healing is acceptance. I smile andsay
goodbye.
.
.
.

I had everything planned in my head. This was going to be

romantic and simple, but the process is not straight tothe
point. He cooked, for the first time in my life I’m having
dinner with lit candles. There’s a bottle of wine, very
surprising. I thought he didn’t drink at all but he’s having a
very tall glass. It’s a dinner for two, the atmosphere is too
heavy and formal for me. I don’t laughtoo often, so I’ve been
told, but I always want to be in anenvironment that allows
me to giggle as loud as I want.
Here, I feel like I have to talk a certain way and sit likethe
Duchess of Sussex.
“Are you okay?” he asks as I down my first glass of
wine.
“Yes, I’m okay,” I say.
“I feel like the mood is right for us to talk about intimacy. I
believe that’s not a topic we’ve touched on before,” he says
and smiles thinly.
We have to talk about it first? I need to refill, fast.“I’m
a private person Nale, I doubt you’d seen me
anywhere for any scandals before the funeral. Privacy isvery
important to me. I feel comfortable when I know
that the world is excluded from my personal business. Mostly
the reason why I was hurt when I found out that you talked to
Zola about certain things. But I’m not there,ang’funi i-
relationship ephaphayo.”
“In simpler terms are you saying I shouldn’t post you?” I have
a slow brain, I prefer if people just shoot straight to the
point.
“I want what we have for you and I, not the whole world.It
doesn’t mean you can’t post me, but protect our private
moments, there will be things that I’d only want
for my eyes and yours,” he says.
“Okay, I hear you.” It doesn’t mean I won’t share things with
Zola anymore, but I will make sure that she doesn’ttell
anybody else.
“I want every moment to mean something. I don’t like
doing things for the sake of doing them. Even though I’ve
known you for less than three months, I do enjoy your
company a lot. And I know it’s not infatuation, I deeply
care for you. I want you to be comfortable withme, to be
able to tell me what you want and what youdon’t want.”
“I don’t want you to put your tongue in my ears,” I say with
no hesitation. That thing drives me crazy. One guyonce put
his long tongue in my ears then next day my eardrums were
like a radio speaker that has cockroaches inside.
He smiles, “But you have beautiful ears.”
“I don’t care, just don’t. Also, don’t call me a bitch. I don’tcare
what cloud you are in, the ‘come on, fuck me bitch’ will make
me knock out your teeth, this is not America,” Isay.
“You know in an intimate moment one can say things
unconsciously?” He’s amused by this whole thing.
“How come no one ever ‘unconsciously’ say their bankpin?” I
ask.
“Because it doesn’t relate to sex,” he says.
“I don’t care, make sure you always remember that no matter
how good it feels, I’m not a bitch.” I don’t want to be talked
down on. A woman can feel good and not be abitch, he can
say ‘fuck me, queen’, that would be more romantic.
“Anything else?” he asks.
“Yeah, don’t ask me to come on top.”
“I will, you can kill me if you want. I want to see your
small boobies bouncing on top of me,” he says.
I should’ve listened to my uncle and stayed at home.
.
.
.
ZOLA

Nale left, she called him to let him know that she arrived
safely. Before that he’d been worried about her safety, his
mood improved and he started talking. I’m serving him tea,
he doesn’t rant, he takes it.
“It seems like you will like Nzalo,” I say.
“It will depend on his character, if he’s good and making her
happy,” he says.
“Would the conditions be the same for Xolani?” I ask.
“Untangayethu? My age mate? There’s a lot I don’t like
about your relationship with him.” There he goes again,
being a hypocrite.
“You are never fair, you’re always soft on Nale and hardon
me.” I have said it. I never thought I’d have the courage.
He’s shocked and his first reaction is to deny. “That’s nottrue.”
“You don’t treat us the same,” I say.
“Yeah, probably. You are older than Nalenhle, I have tohold
you more accountable.” He’s on defense mode, making zero
sense.
“I’m only 3 years older than Nale. Even with accountability
aside, you love Nale more than you loveme,” I say.
“Nokuzola!” He puts down the cup of tea.
He’s hurt, his eyes are filled with pain.
“I’m not competing, I’m going to my 30s very soon, I
probably don’t need to be babied by my dad. But alsoyou
don’t need to make it too obvious.”
“Where is this coming from? Because I won’t accept your
relationship with someone who’s almost my age?”he asks.
“It’s not about that, it’s how I’ve always felt even growingup,”
I say.
“You feel like I don’t love you?” His forehead wrinkles in
confusion.
“You do, just not much,” I say.
“That’s not true, there’s no way I wouldn’t love someone
who made me a father for the first time. I love you, morethan
anything in this world. But there are circumstances that need
me to protect your cousin a bit more because I don’t know
what else to do to make her life feel complete.”
“Because aunty was raped?” I don’t feel like that justifiesthe
favouritism.
“Nalenhle has always been looking for her dad. I’m the only
person she can cry to and I don’t have her dad. Youknow how
she can get, at times she’s being pushed by
the ancestors act crazy so that I can do certain things
zomsamu. She’s not a normal child.”
“Nale is very normal, I live with her,” I say.
He takes a deep sigh, “I know she is not, there’s no wayshe
can be.”
“Why?” I’m confused.
“It has to do with umsamu wakhe, there are a lot of
conflicts.”
“Is that why you invited her alone to the ritual you will allbe
doing?”
“Yes, but I have never felt greater joy in this world than
holding you in my arms for the first time. I’m sorry if you’ve
felt unloved along the way. I’m dealing with thingsin my
journey as a brother and uncle, things that the world never
prepared me for.”
“Do you feel guilty for not being able to help Nale findher
dad?” I ask.
“I feel guilty for not being able to help my sister when she
needed me to. I could have protected her,” he says.
“Maybe not. You couldn’t have guessed that somethingwas
going to happen. Grandma and grandpa were alivewhen it
happened, they were his parents,” I say.
“I could have, had I paid enough attention. Now I’m
living with a sister who had a traumatic childhood
throughout and living with disabilities. There’s help from the
government but it’s not enough. There’s a lot that I’mdealing
with at home and in my marriage.”
“In your marriage?” I’m confused.
What is he dealing with? They’re happily married.
“It’s not all roses, Nokuzola. But I can’t share things likethat
with you.”
“Are you guys fighting?” I want to know.“There
are challenges,” he says.
This makes me sad, I want my parents to be happy.
“Why?” I ask.
“Nokuzola, hhayi bo!” He doesn’t want to tell me.
“Nale thinks you might know some information and keeping
it from her about her mother’s case.” I know he doesn’t
know anything but I just want to confirm so that Ican put
Nale at ease.
“I will tell her,” he says.
Whaaaaat?!!!
“You know something?” I’m shocked.
“It’s not something light, I’m still trying to figure out howI’m
going to tell her and how we are going to move
forward as a family.”
Now I will never disagree with someone’s seventhsense;
Nale has been right.
“Is it heartbreaking?” I ask.
He nods, “Yes, it’s heartbreaking.”“Why
wait so long?” I ask.
“Because I thought she’d make peace with it. But it lookslike
your grandfather didn’t do enough damage, he wants his two
minutes of fame,” he says.
“How does this concern him?” I’m confused.
“There was no stranger in the house, Nalenhle is a
Thabethe.”
Huh???

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 32
NALENHLE

I’m a bit brave after all the formal sex talk, I had two glasses
of red wine. I help him clear the table, then watch some TV
while he goes to freshen up. I need to memorize my script;
how I will move and talk. I want to
impress, this has to be the best sex he will never forget.
He’s done quicker than I anticipated, I’m not doneplanning
yet.
“Are we watching TV?” He glances at his phone,checking the
time. “It’s almost 10pm,” he says.
I lift my hand for him to help me up. I’m still in my gorgeous
bodycon dress. He gently holds my waist aswe walk to the
bedroom. I’m getting used to his house,the bedroom is
gorgeously set up.

There’s a little red, heart-shaped pillow at the centre of

the bed with rose petals along the white bedding. I didn’tthink
this would be a romantic scene.
“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look?”I
smile, “Not that I remember.”
“That’s a crime, you look too beautiful for words.” He pecks
my lips and gently takes my phone out of my hand. Phones
are going to the drawer, maybe he thinks Iwill secretly
record. I know sometimes I’m a blabblermouth but I wouldn’t
publicize something so private.
“Should I help you out of this?” he asks, reaching for the
button behind the collar of the dress.
It feels different than I imagined. I’m a bit uptight now, I
don’t like the seriousness he’s coming with. I mean, we are
not a newly-wedded couple having their first sexual
experience in a honeymoon. We are supposed to
fuck…just get into it the illegal way.
“Are you comfortable?” he asks after getting the dressoff.
“Yeah,” I say.
I’m comfortable but things are not going according to my
plans. My lingerie is in my bag. I’ve never worn a lingerie for
anyone so I didn’t know the right time to put it on.
“Do you want to take the lead?” he asks.
“Hell, no!” I’m not doing that.
He’s the man here, a leader. I’m a woman, my area of
dominance is in the kitchen.
He gently grabs my face up and kisses me. His hands
massage what he called small boobies. He’s only wearing
shorts, I’m left in a G-string. We kiss standing on our feet,
then I end up on my back in bed. He moveshis lips down to
my navel, his beard giving me tickles ashe rubs his face on
me.

He lifts my knees up and gets the G-string out. Then he sits

between my open legs. My coochie is out, I shaved so I have
nothing to be ashamed of.
He pecks my leg. “Do you remember when I said youwere
not my dad’s type and you got offended?”
Where is this coming from now?
“Yeah,” I say.
“Well, you are my type.”
I’m blushing. Men really deserve a seat in heaven.
“I’m attracted to you. And that didn’t build on your
appearance, even though I’ve had dirty thoughts aboutyou,
I’m emotionally attracted to you before everythingelse. I love
how you make me feel.”
“Relax babe, I want this more than you,” I say.
“You don’t want this more than me, trust me.” He comesup
and kisses me.
He’s still keeping his shorts, I’m complete naked. His hand
slides down between my thighs as our lips remainlocked in a
steamy exchange.
The kiss breaks, he pecks the side of my neck. “I wantto
see you explore your body.”
“Huh?” I’m confused.
“I want to watch you play with yourself, the night is still
young,” he says.
I didn’t expect this. I came here for sex, real sex- hisshaft
inside me. But it looks like he wants something else
before we get there.
He kisses me until the doubt in my head dissolves away.Then
he stands up and takes his shorts off. His shaft springs out,
long like a baby arm and pointing up, hard.
“You’re not shy, right?” he asks.
“Me? No.” I’m not shy, I’m just not sure what’s going on.
“I know you are not,” he plants a few kisses on my faceand
then grabs my legs apart.
He wants everything on full display.
“Show me your spots,” he says, standing up staring atmy
body like I’m a Sunday meal.
“What do you mean?” I’m confused.
“Touch yourself where you want to be touched.”
No, I’m a shy girl. I have never played with myself while
someone is watching me.
He doesn’t wait for me to make up my mind, he pulls my
hand down to my coochie. Our eyes lock, he gently moves
his thumb around my clit. I feel like a high schoolgirl being
with a boy for the first time. I’m cold, shy and clueless.
Both our hands are on my mound but his fingers are doing the
work. His other hand grabs my boob, gentlysqueezing it as he
rubs two of his fingers through my folds. I’m getting wet and
once I’m horny the shyness
flies out of the window. He patiently gets me turned on until
my hand starts moving around too, then he lets go.
He stands aside, his hand around his shaft, watchingme.
“You look so good!” he says, gravelly.
My back starts arching, I push one finger into my opening
and stir it around. I hear a deep moan next tome.
“Take it out babe, let me see,” he says.
I’m disturbed but I do it. My finger comes out wet, he asks
me to open my legs and spread my labia a bit more. I do it,
without a second thought. His jaw tightensas I put my finger
back in and stroke my clit again.
“Aah babe, you’re killing me!” He comes and kisses me.
All I want right now is my orgasm. The self made orgasm
that I have worked hard for, independently.
“Lie straight and cross your legs,” he instructs.
“Nzalo!” I don’t want to be disturbed.
“Please my love,” he begs.
I’m frustrated but I obey.
He slides his fingers down to my clit while my legs are
crossed. He strokes my clit, moaning along with me. Ifeel the
tingling sensation building up and let my legs loose.
“Cross your legs,” he says firmly, out of patience.
My body will blow up, but I do it. His clit-tweaking is
faster the second time. It doesn’t take two minutes
before my clit goes on full vibration. I almost fall off thebed,
my coochie is relieved and sticky. He takes something and
tears it open with his teeth.
I’m not fully back when his lips lock on mine. I feel my legs
going up in the air, then something hard fills up mycore. It
just slips inside me in one thrust and next thing Ifeel is him
just enjoying himself.
.
.
.
I wake up to him snuggled on me, I move because I want to
get off bed and go to the bathroom. His eyesopen, he grabs
my hand.
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” I say.
“Okay, come back when you’re done.”It’s
at night, where would I go?
I pee quickly and go back, it’s freezing cold in the
bathroom. I find him laying on his back, fully awake. He
stretches his arm out, I slide back inside the covers.
“What is the time?” I ask.
“Almost 3am…time for lovers,” he says.
I give him a look, “No, we already had two rounds.” “Why
are we counting?” His hand runs over my boobs.
Three rounds in one night is okay. I give him what he wants.
It’s more intimate than the first two, we are moving under
the covers because it’s cold at this time. He’s on top of me,
moving gently and clasping my otherhand. This is love-
making, it feels like our souls are
entwined. His navel rubbing against mine, sweat dropping
down on me. He’s sweetly professing his love,assuring me
that I’m his only one and he feels good inside me.

Waking up to the sun shining through the curtain and seeing

condom foils on the floor that we used is embarrassing. It
was a crazy night, so many condoms! Ican feel it even
between my legs that things were happening. I pick things
on the floor on my way to the bathroom, I throw in the bin
and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are evident of the
lack of sleep.
Tomorrow I’m going to work, I need to use today to givemy
body a needed rest.
I get in the shower, use his gel to massage every part ofmy
body. Then turn the water on, stand under the shower and
enjoy warm water running on my skin.
Extra hands grab my waist. I open my eyes, he’s in theshower
with me.
Wasn’t he asleep?
I didn’t need help, especially help that’s mainly focused on
washing my boobs and ass. His sexual patience is big as his
appetite. It feels like he’s making up for all thenights that we
cuddled and slept against each other.
This time it’s all about him, it’s the quickest round. Hepulls out
and finishes the job with his hand. Then we shower together.
I swear now if he wants more sex from me I will screamand
run, and never look back.
.
.
.

It’s only fitting that he makes breakfast for me, a filling one. I
need energy, if possible he must give me moneyfor a spa
treatment as well. After breakfast I ask that hetakes me to
the pharmacy first. My uncle said he was going to leave in
the morning, I’m sure he’s in a taxi home right now.
We make another stop, he’s getting his coffee. I’m in norush, I
wait for him to recharge his energy. He doesn’t look
exhausted as I am.
“Am I going to see you later?”
“No,” I say without hesitation.
“Why babe? Last night was short, you came late. I feel like
we need to have a movie date night and maybe go to
babomncane’s casino, I’ve never been there before.”
I’m shocked even though I shouldn’t be. He’s really not that
close with Mr X.
“Have you talked to him about the investigation?” I ask.
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I don’t know
what to believe,” he says.
“If he provides evidence that there was a foul play, how
would it make you feel?” I ask.
“I’d definitely feel like I failed my mother. Maybe I trustedthe
wrong people and thought the system would be fair,” he
says.
A part of me prays that MaMkhwanazi is not responsibleand
whatever going on is just a coincidence. I know it will break
Nzalo because they have a weird, strong bond. I don’t even
want to talk about Msindisi, that’s his queen.
“I just don’t understand why she’s never visited us in our
dreams. I’ve never had a single dream about her, yet she
showed up in your dreams and you don’t even knoweach
other.”
“Maybe you’re not accessible,” I say.
“How? I also sleep at night, I do dream about other
things. I have dreamed about my father, why not her?”This
worries him more than I thought.
“Maybe she does but you wake up not remembering
anything, that happens if your spirit is not clean and
pure,” I say.
He frowns, “My spirit is dirty?”
“It doesn’t mean you’re demonic, maybe there are things you
need to fix spiritually. My uncle knows these things, I
would’ve asked him on your behalf but you’re not his
favorite person yet. He hated that you didn’t fetch me
yesterday, he said you don’t care about my safety.”
He frowns, “But you said I shouldn’t come, I was comingto
pick you up.”
“I didn’t tell him that,” I say. “You
are the problem,” he says.
“Oh, the same problem you want to see again?”
He smiles, “Yeah, my beautiful problem. You really made
Hadebe happy yazi.”
This conversation will be too intimate for this coffeeshop.
“Let’s go,” I say.
“I wouldn’t fuck you in a coffee shop, at least not duringthe
day with people around us.”
“Nzalo, let’s go!”
He chuckles and stands up.
.
.
.
I don’t know if I’m delusional and seeing things that don’t
exist or that’s really my uncle outside the door. He said he
was going to leave early in the morning. What is he still doing
here?
“Is that Thabethe?” Nzalo asks.
“Yeah,” I say.
He’s looking at the car, we cannot reverse and park
somewhere out of his sight.
“Should I just go? I don’t know what’s disrespectful and
not,” Nzalo asks me.
“I don’t know, maybe let’s go and greet him. If he beatsyou,
he beats you,” I say.
“Huh?” His eyes widen.
“He’s my uncle, obviously he won’t kill you, he's never
killed anyone before, he only broke a man's jaw long
time ago. Even if you get injured you have medical aidmos,
you will go to a private hospital and get premium help.” I
don’t see what the problem is here.
I open the door and climb out with my bag. My uncle is
watching, a part of me feels like he was waiting for me to
come home before he leaves. He’s a caring uncle.

Nzalo is behind me, I can’t believe he’s so tall andscared of a

mere beating.
“Morning malume,” I say.
His eyes are on Nzalo behind me.
“This is Nzalo Hadebe,” I say.
Silence…
Nzalo clears his throat, “Sawubona malume.”
“Yebo, how are you?” he says.
I release a deep sigh of relief. This is going well.“I’m
good, thanks for asking,” -Nzalo.
“How was your father’s birthday celebration?”
Oh no, I didn’t brief Nzalo.
“I’m not sure I know what you are referring to,” he says.
My uncle nods, then looks at me and smiles. It’s not a
genuine smile, he’s always reprimanded me about my high
quality lying skills.
“I’m sure I’m confusing something else, it happens when
you’re old like me. It’s nice to see you dropping her off and
seeing that she gets home safely,” he says.
Nzalo nods, says goodbye and leaves.
We get inside the house, I hear him driving away. “Didn’t I
tell you to stop being comfortable with lying?”
“Not that I’m comfortable malume, I needed to say
something for you to agree.”
“It doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t deceive people to getwhat
you want,” he says.
Morning lecture! I apologize and go to my bedroom tochange.

Zola is up, cuddled on her bed with her phone. There’s alot I
need to update her about. I close the door and sit next to her
with a deep sigh.
“Why didn’t you tell me he’s still here?” I ask.
“Because he was going to wait for you anyway.” Sheputs her
phone away and sits up.
“Did you guys do it?” she asks.
“Mzala! I almost called 211,” I say.
“Why?” She raises her eyebrows.
“I needed a break. If that’s how he is, I’m afraid him andI will
be in an open relationship. He will have to find a second
girlfriend, because hhayi bo! Even married couples don’t do
it that much. I’m talking about husbands who paid lobola.”
She laughs and quickly covers her mouth. “Was it toomuch?”
“I’m telling you, I hardly slept a wink, I need my bed right
now," I say.
“But if you go to bed Dad will know that you weren’t sleeping
last night. Imagine that shame, an elder seeingthat you’re
tired because a man opened your legs the whole night.”
She has a point. I know nobody thinks I’m a virgin but I don’t
want my uncle to start picturing me doing unlawfuldeeds.
“When is he leaving?” I ask.
“After 12pm,” she says.
“I have to keep busy and make it look like I had enough
sleep last night.” I’m going to redeem myself, he will be sure
that my sleepover was innocent.
“Just do laundry,” Zola says.
She’s right, I will fill the bathroom tub with laundry.
“Please include mine, I will return the favor too.” She isnow
milking the situation.
I collect laundry and make sure it’s piled up and almostspilling
off the basket.
He’s watching TV, I pass with a full basket.
“Do you need me to wash anything for you?” I ask.He
looks up, “No, thank you.”
“I’m going to wash and iron, then clean the house.”
“Mmmm,” he shifts his eyes back to the TV.
My body is against this thing I’m doing. If I don’t get anyrest
it might break down.
I throw all the clothes on the bathroom floor and lie down. I
just need this little nap then I will be on top of mygame

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 33
ZOLA

I had a heavy night, I don’t know what stresses me more

between Nalenhle’s paternity issue and my parents’
marriage. I tried talking to Thami on Whatsapp, trying to find
out what’s really happening at home, but he’s a 16 year old,
he only worries about data and soccer. This doesn’t sit well
with me, I want my parents to be happy.
So I call my mom, I know dad isn’t home yet.
“Hello,” she answers.
My mother yells when she’s talking on the phone.“Ma
can we talk?” I ask.
“Yes. Is your father still there?”
“No, he’s on his way. Are you alone?”
“Yes, I’m doing laundry.”
“Okay,” I take a deep breath. It may look like I’m pokingmy
nose in elders’ business whereas I’m just a concerned
daughter. “Dad said something about you guys not being in a
good space. What’s happening?”
“Hhayi-bo Nokuzola, why did he say that? Your father and I
are okay.” She sounds shocked. My relationship with them
is on the surface, not that deep in a way thatwe can discuss
their marital affairs and boyfriend stuff.
“But dad doesn’t lie, he even looked sad talking aboutit,” I
say.
“If he’s sad it’s definitely not from me, maybe he’s sadfrom
other places.” Her statement carries a lot, I’m confused and I
sense bitterness from her end. She doesn’t care about my
dad.
“Are you guys fighting?” I ask.
“Nokuzola, you’re a child, even if your father and I were
fighting you wouldn’t have been the one I talk to,” she says.
“I’m not a child Ma, I’m going to complete the calendar ina
year. We don’t have to be best friends but we can talk.You
have a daughter, someone who came from your womb
looking exactly like you.” I don’t see why she
should hide things from me. I won’t tell anyone, I nevertell,
my chest has a pin code.
“It’s normal marriage ups and downs, nothing for you toworry
about,” she says. Her voice has softened, she’s cracking down
the walls a bit.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can help with. You guys
have been married for two decades, now and again you
might need to reconnect and maybe get somemarriage
counseling,” I say.
“We are beyond that stage,” she says.
Now I’m confused, she said it’s normal marriage upsand
downs just a minute ago.
“It can’t be fixed?” I ask.
I hear a heavy sigh. “Nokuzola, you’ve seen my life from
when you were little. I have a lot on my plate. Your
brother, domestic activites, your aunt’s clinic visits andjust
looking after her 7 days a week. I don’t have the energy your
father wants me to have. It’s either he understands that,
because all the responsibilities I’ve had came with the ring
he put on my finger, or we justseparate and he finds a
woman who will be what he wants.”
This is heartbreaking, she’s talking like she’s given up. Idon’t
have the details because she’s vague, but I think I have an
idea.
“If you guys separate what will happen to the family?” Iask.
“I will take my son and leave, you’re a grown independent
woman you will be fine,” she says.
“The rest of the family?” I ask.
“If your father doesn’t appreciate what I do for his family
then…I don’t know, it’s up to him. But I can't give more
than I've already given.”
This is beyond me. My insides just turn cold, I’ve alwayshad a
perfect picture of my parents. I hope dad didn’t cheat on my
mother because that will ruin a lot of relationships within
the family.
“He’s coming home, I hope you can sit down and talk in
lengths about this. Is there anything I can do for you
personally?” I ask.
“Yes, send me some money,” she says.
I knew that’s what she’d want, not some comfort words.
“I will probably come with Nale this coming Friday.” I feellike I
need to go home and see what’s going on nyself.
I’m heartbroken, I don’t want it to get to the point where
my mother leaves home. Everybody depends on her,
especially my aunt.
.
..
.
I hear the toile flushing, then the bathroom door opens. My
father needed the bathroom but he couldn’t release himself
while his niece was sleeping on the floor. She’s just waking
up, she didn’t wash anything.
“Where is malume?” she asks.
“He’s already left, he said goodbye,” I say.
Her eyes widen. “How long have I been sleeping?”
“Three hours, you were deeply asleep we didn’t want to
disturb you. We could tell you were really exhausted, you
had a busy night,” I say.
“Zola, my reputation! You should’ve done something.”I
laugh, "What reputation?"
Nothing is ever Nale’s fault under the sun, not even herclosing
her own eyes and sleeping.
“He doesn’t mind anyway, he likes Nzalo,” I say.
“There’s nothing not to like about him, I need to get myphone
and text him. I really can’t do another night.”
She’s in love and it’s cute to watch. Finally, she owns itand
boldly expresses it.
I trust Nzalo with my cousin’s heart. He really came intothe
picture when Nale would need company. Her life willbe
shaken this coming weekend, she will finally get the truth
she's always searched for.
.
.
.

S’KHUNDLA THABETHE
He passed by the shops because a man can’t walk in his
house empty-handed when he has a wife and kids.Even
though things have been rocky, when he left yesterday there
was no issue. As he walks in, Thami walks out with his
phone.
He stops him, “Where are you going?”
“I’m going outside, Ma doesn’t want me to play music. You
know her, everything gives her headache,” Thamisays.
“I want to talk to you about something.” He goes inside the
house, greets and leave the bags and then comes
out again. They both step out and stand a few feet awayfrom
the door.

It looks serious, Thami is a bit confused because hisfather just

arrived.
“Are you happy?” his father asks.He
frowns; he’s confused.
“Kind of,” he says.
“Is it us? Is it me?”
Thami laughs, “Hhayi-bo baba, did you eat space
muffins?”
“I don’t like cakes, you know that. I want you to tell me ifyou
feel left out or neglected. I know sometimes your mother
and I get caught up in family issues and not put our all in
raising you.”
“No, I’m a big man. Do what you have to do, as long as Ihave
data,” Thami says.
“Kids! Is that all you worry about?” Thabethe shakes hishead,
laughing.
It feels good to know that not both his children have feltlike
they aren’t prioritized. Thami takes money for data,he asks
for it every week, then he continues with what he was
doing.
.
..
.
Thabethe goes inside the house, his sister is on the couch,
awake. He updates her about Nale and tells hershe will be
home on Friday. His wife doesn’t look okay but she knows
how to pretend for the sake of people.
They eat dinner early, Thami has school tomorrow. He goes
to the bedroom and lies in bed, waiting for his wife to come.
She takes long, sometimes he has to intervenebecause
Bazamile would refuse to take her medication, she’s living
with cystic fibrosis.

But today his wife was just in the kitchen picking beans,she
walks in an hour later. She changes her slip-on dress and
puts on a night dress. After wrapping her head she gets in
bed, without saying a word.
“Is everything alright?” Thabethe asks.
He’s actually waiting to tell her about what Zolaexpressed.
“You talked to a child about our affairs. Really
Thabethe? Is that what you left for? What did you expect
Nokuzola to do other than stressing about us?” She’s mad, her
kids shouldn’t be involved in issues like this.
“I can explain how it got to that point. Apparently she’snot
happy, specifically with me. She thinks I love Nalenhle
more than her, and I understand how she looked at it. I
had to explain why I don’t hold Nalenhlemore accountable
for her actions, which is because ofhow she was brought
into this world.”
Instead of sympathizing with him, Khululiwe shakes her
head.
“Are you surprised?” she asks.
“I am because I thought I was open enough for her to
express her dissatisfaction. It’s something she says she’s
been holding in for a very long time. But we had a
conversation, hopefully there will be more to follow,” he
says.
“I hear you, but I still don’t think you should’ve aired our
dirty laundry to our child, now she’s worried.” She pulls up
the blanket.
“I didn’t say much though,” Thabethe says.
“Well, I did tell her that I’m no longer the wife that youwant,”
she says.
He takes a deep breath. “But that’s not true, you know
that I love you. You told me to get another wife because
I raised concerns about the lack of affection betweenus.”
“On top of everything I do in this family Thabethe, you still
expect me to come and become a starring in bed. Ican’t take
care of your son, your sister and all the chores, then still
have energy to have sex every week.”
“I help Khululiwe, don’t make it sound like I just sit and leave
everything to you. I simply ask for affection, let metouch you.
Last year we had the same responsibilities, and all the years
before, but things weren’t like this.”
“I’m older than I was. And I said get another wife, if you
cannot accept that I physically get tired and need my husband
to hold my hand, without complaining about notgetting
enough sex and kisses.”
“Get another wife? You said you’d leave if there’s another
person. That’s why I’m confused. Is it becauseyou are tired
or there’s no love anymore?”
Khululiwe sighs, “We’ve talked about this Thabethe. My
whole life has been about giving to the Thabethes. I gave all
my life to this family. You are still demanding apiece of me.
I’m in my mid-40s, allow me to have a break.”
A moment of silence passes. She lies, facing the otherside.
Thabethe takes a deep breath. “Is it my sister? Is she a
burden?”
“Don’t do that. I didn’t call anyone a burden, I said I wantto
have a break, just for 7 hours or 8,” she says.
“It feels like we are room mates, the only thing that’s leftis
for you to request a separate blanket. It doesn’t feel like we
are still married anymore, and that breaks my heart. I miss
you, I wish we can come up with a resolution. I don’t want
anything outside this marriage, you don’t deserve that. It’s
unfair of you to give me suchtwo impossible options.”
“It’s also unfair of you to expect so much from me. Whenwill
I get a break?” She fights back tears and chooses not to argue
with him furtherly. He never understands where she comes
from. He might help around the housebut there’s little he can
do for his sister. It’s her who helps the most as a woman,
there are things he can’t doas it would be too much of a
taboo. So for him to sit hereand act like he shares half of a
burden she has is upsetting. She hardly gets a break unless
she’s gone home, which is never more than two days. Her
social presence is limited, she doesn’t have a big circle of
friends to lean on for support. A year ago she may have
known how to make time for him every night, but it’s nowa
year later, she’s in a different space mentally and physically.
.
.
.

Thami got ready for school and left before his parents woke
up. By the time Khululiwe wakes up the road is empty, all
children are in schools. She warms water and
helps her sister-in-law take a bath. Her husband is still inbed,
their conversation last night didn’t end well. But shestill
makes breakfast, sets it on the table for him before sitting on
the couch with Bazamile eating theirs. Her life is a routine
and for the past two decades she’s been okay with it. Her
love for Bazamile cannot be questioned, she loves her like a
blood sister. She loves and sacrifices a lot. But she never
thought it would comedown to her kids as well. Zola
sacrificing for Nale to get enough attention.
Her phone rings, it’s Zola. She’s never been a clingy child,
she became independent at a very young age, she's
someone who keeps to herself most of the times.Her father
shouldn’t have told their marriage issues, she’s obviously
stressed.
“Hello Ma,” she says.
“Nokuzola, how was work?”
“I’m going to start on Wednesday, doing day shift. Is dadwith
you?” She’s worried, just like her mother thought.
She wants to know if they fixed things.
“He’s still in bed,” Khululiwe says.
“I don’t know if I should ask how things are. I’m worried.”
“Stop worrying Nokuzola, focus on yourself. How is your
boyfriend?” She doesn’t even like the old man Nokuzolais
said to be dating but if he can keep Nokuzola distracted, she
can embrace him.
“Xolani is fine,” Zola says.“Is
he married?” she asks.
“Ma! Do you think I’d date a married man?”
“Is he not old? I thought he’s married and foolingaround.”
“No, he’s with me. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, just not about your dad and I,” she says.
“He wants me to move in with him. Do you think it’s agreat
idea? I told him to ask dad first.”
“That’s a huge step. How long have you been together?”Zola
clears her throat, suspiciously. “About five months.”
“Do you think you know what his intentions are?” she
asks.
“He’s genuine,” Zola says.
“Then listen to your heart. If you feel like moving in with him
will make you happy then try.” Her answer surprisesZola, she
didn’t think she’d have permission this easily, without
Thabethe’s input.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 34
NALENHLE

I cancelled my date with Nzalo on Sunday, I haven’t seen

him in three days. Today is Thursday, yesterdayZola joined
my dayshift team and my work passion instantly improved.
Tomorrow we are going home, so I
decided that I’d make time for Nzalo tonight to make up for
Sunday. I don’t have to take a taxi to and from work, my
cousin has a car. She’s been going through some stuff that
she hasn’t shared with me yet. It’s been days, Ithought she’d
tell me what’s eating her up. I mean, we share everything, at
times it’s sickening. There’s nothingI cannot share with her.
She was the first person I told when I started having my
periods, I consulted her beforebreaking my virginity over a
card and P.S chocolate.
Maybe it’s Mr X and Robyn. I’m very close to stranglinga
bitch, and the senior citizen.
“What did they do?” I ask, standing behind her as she
unlocks the door.
She frowns, “Who?”
“Mr X and Robyn,” I say.
“Who is Robyn? Please, she doesn’t exist. I just have a lot
other things on my mind.” The door opens, we walk inand
leave it open to let in some fresh air.
“What things? You were changed to day shift, Mr X makes
sure you are never broke and you have a car toget you
around,” I ask.
“Family things. It doesn’t have to be about a man or
money,” she says.
In my humble opinion, people who don’t have money
problems fake sadness.
“But there’s nothing wrong with our family. Malumecame
and you guys talked, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, and I found out his marriage is rocky. Can youbelieve
it?”
I need to sit down. No, I don’t believe it.
“How so? They have the most solid marriage ever.” I’m
confused.
“Apparently not. My mother was talking about leaving,”she
says.
This is worse than I thought. Her mother leaving is theend
of the family.
“What happened?” I’m worried as she is.
Their marriage is what has kept the family together.
“I don’t know, she didn’t put anything in words. But I’mgoing
home with you, I hope they will be able to fix
things. My mother taking Thami and leaving is a newreality,
not just for my dad but for all of us.”
“That’s deep.” I understand why she’s been down, thischanges
my mood for the weekend.
Beside the family breaking apart, I don’t see how they’d
survive without one another. My uncle has no identity
without his Khululiwe, vice versa. Zola is 29, they’re at
the age where they should be looking forward to having
grandchildren, not fighting.

This gives me more reason to go out and gamble Nzalo’s

money away, if I stay in the house the wholeevening I will
overthink and go crazy.
I call her mother before I go freshen up. I can’t ask her what’s
going on, I’m sure she wants to deal with it on herown.
“Malumekazi how are you?” I ask.
“I’m okay nana, how was work?”
“It was exhausting but okay. How is everyone?”
“Everyone is fine, just looking forward to seeing you
tomorrow.”
“Is your sister-in-law behaving?” I ask.
She chuckles, “You know how she can be, but I won’t liefor the
past two days we’ve been getting along. Next week we are
going to the doctor, that’s when we might
fight because she hates crowded places.”
“She is such a diva at times. Is malume home?” I ask. “No,
he went to fetch his sheep,” she says.
“We will see you guys tomorrow, we are coming in Zola'scar,” I
say.
“My daughter has a car???”
Oh, shit! Her husband didn’t brief her. “Umh
no malumekazi, it’s not hers, it’s…”
I hear her ululating. I’m not sure where the phone is, she
sounds afar as if she dumped the phone and went
outside to celebrate. This is a mess, if I tell Zola she’s going
to report me to Mr X and I will be banned from thecasino.
Tomorrow there’s going to be a car drama.
.
.
.

Zola is my retired stylist, ever since Mr X came into herlife I

figure out my own life. I match pink top and white shorts,
then put on chunky sneakers.
“You don’t look like you’re serious about life. It’s giving high
school chick vibes.” She’s a fashion police, dressedin her 80s
polkadot drop-waist dress and sleepers with ribbons.
“I think I look good,” I say.
“Yeah, but not for Nzalo, he’s someone’s boss.”
I don’t get her point, Nzalo being a boss doesn’t changewho
I am. I can’t throw my clothes away because they don’t
match his image.
“Are you still keeping an eye for Xolani?” she asks.
“I can’t stop Nzalo from going to MaMkhwanazi,” I say.
“I think you would’ve done it if there was money on the
table. You know, I can’t wait for this whole thing to be
over. At times I feel stupid for even allowing it to happenand
being a part of it.”
“Why?” I thought she was the advocate for all of this.
“He’s working with his former sex-partner to avenge
himself against his ex-girlfriend, and I’m just watching itall
go down.” She’s having some regrets, I think it’s all because
of Robyn.
I don’t like Mr X, I hoped they were going to break up for
some time, but my feelings have changed towards their
relationship. I don’t want them to go through what her
parents are going through. We can’t have both mother and
daughter hitting the rock bottom with their men. If she
breaks up with Mr X he will take his car, I’m not ready to be a
passenger again.

She’s not going to Mr X’s house, I don’t know if he’sbusy

or she’s avoiding him. Anyway, I’m going out, Nzalo
comes in to greet Zola, their friendship is verysolid.
“Hello my aunt,” he says.
Zola rolls her eyes, “Hey Nzalo, nice to see you.”“You
look gorgeous,” he says.
I’m confused. Doesn’t he see me? I look better than Zolawith
her 80s polkadots print.
She smiles cheekily, “I try. Thank you. You guys havefun at
the casino.”
“You could’ve joined us,” he says.
“Ah, next time. I need to rest, I’m still getting used to day
shift.”
He shifts his eyes to me. I give him an icy stare, he
takes my hand and we walk out, I haven’t received my
compliments.
“You think I should’ve worn polkadots dress?” I ask.“No,” he
says.
“But you have a problem with my cute top and shorts?” “Am
I not allowed not to like something you’re wearing?”“No!!!”
WTF, who raised him?
“What happened to freedom of speech? I would’ve likedit if
you weren’t going to meet with my uncle,” he says.
“Dude, your uncle has seen me drunk. And it’s not like
you’re going to introduce me, we are going to one of his
establishments as customers.” I can’t believe this.
“Not as my girlfriend. And I am going to introduce you.
Nonetheless, I wouldn’t wear ripped jeans and reveal my
chest when going to your uncle’s casino.”
“My uncle doesn’t have a casino,” I say.
“That’s not the point, you don’t look nice,” he finally saysit.
If the car wasn’t moving already, I would’ve gone back,my
bed doesn’t have bugs.
“You’re a horrible person,” I wash my hands about him.“Nale,
you’ve never complimented me in this life. Now
I’m horrible because I don’t like your skimpy outfit?” He’s
finding humor in it.
I didn’t walk in the bedroom and came out looking likethis. It
took hardwork and many turns in front of the mirror.

Surprisingly I’ve never been here before, not even whenI

was with Tom. The place looks nice, I’m seeing a bar
as we walk in, I might become their new regular. He’s holding
my hand regardless of him not liking my outfit. People are
looking at us, I think they are liking my outfit.
We make our first stop at the eatery, they only serve burgers
and drinks. We are not on good terms, or ratherI’m not on
good terms with him.
“You are still sulking,” he says, as we wait for our food.“I
don’t want to talk to you,” I say.
“How are you going to buy coins and your glass ofwine?”
“You took me out.” He mustn’t dare. I won’t beblackmailed
into smiling.
“So? You’ve taken me out and didn’t pay for me,” hesays.
“You’re very stingy, you’re like us, poor people,” I say.
He laughs, “I’m not stingy, I just know how to spendmoney.”
“Whatever! Do you want to pose for some pictures? I won’t
post them.” I have an iPhone, I capture every littlemoment.
He’s not photogenic, he doesn’t even try to help me. It’seither
his lips appear too big or his eyes look shut.
There’s something wrong on every picture.
“You mess them up, my Facebook friends are critics ofnature.”
“Oh, Facebook friends?”
Fuck, I said I won’t post them.
Our food comes, he forgets about it.
I take the opportunity to ask about MaMkhwanazi.
“When was the last time you saw your ncane?”
“Today, in the morning,” he says, like it’s nothingharmful.
Then he looks at my face and scoffs, “I didn’t sayanything!”
“And she doesn’t ask why you’re scarce?” I ask.“I’m
busy with work, she understands,” he says.
The waitress comes back, she gives Nzalo a cup of coffee, his
favorite drink. I’m still asking myself how thisgirl knows him,
Mr X appears, so it was his instruction. Ifeel excluded, he
could’ve sent me my favorite drink as well, I’m stuck with an
icy Sparletta.
“I heard from the security that we have high profile
customers,” he says. You can tell from his smile thathe’s
happy to see Nzalo here.
“I thought we should come and see I we can win some
money since my girlfriend’s account was frozen by the bank
two months ago,” Nzalo.
Unnecessary details! Mr X looks at me with his gold-
digger spectacles on.
“That’s unfortunate. How are you Nale?” he asks.“I’m
good, Mr X,” I say.
“Why did you leave umakoti wami alone?”
Umakoti? My uncle and I weren’t aware.
“You look nice,” he says.
I look at Nzalo, he made a fuss about it and here is Mr X,
telling me he’s never seen a girl better dressed thanme.
He only smiles. Now the cat got his tongue, neh. “Nzalo
thought I don’t look decent enough,” I say.
“I didn’t say that, I said I don’t like your look, from my eyes
perspective. I’m allowed not to like certain clothes,right
babomncane?”
“I’m not getting involved,” Mr X says, raising his hands up.
“I’m just waiting for you to tell me what is this? A real
relationship or umjolo nje?”
“We are…” he pauses and looks at me.
If he says we are still getting to know each other I swearI’m
going to take his eyes. Because what else do we need to
know about each other? Each other’s blood
type.
“We are in a relationship, that’s why I brought her here.Meet
my girlfriend,” he says.
“The first girlfriend to be introduced to me,” Mr X says,
giving me a look of approval.
“I know I got too involved in the family feuds and
distanced myself. I want to make that right, I’m done
fighting,” Nzalo says.
I’m not shocked, I’ve seen the change in his heart.
There was no reason for him to hate Mr X, he just wentwith
the wind.
“What changed your heart?” Mr X asks.
“I want to reconnect with my mother’s spirit, I don’t like
that she doesn’t visit us in our dreams and goes to Nale
instead,” he says.
“What are you talking about?” Mr X.
I fill him in, he’s shocked. I don’t know if I should go andtrain
to become a sangoma, this feels iconic. I communicated with
a dead person, now I’m changing lives.
“What did your other mother say about this?” Mr X asks.
“She said we will go to church,” he says.
Mr X breaks into laughter. You can tell he despises
MaMkhwanazi. He is a bitter ex, whether MaMkhwanazi is
evil or not. He probably murdered his other ex- girlfriends,
he’s the possessive type that gets obsessed and crazy. I’m
glad they broke up because they would’vebeen a mad, old
couple.
“Pay for the coffee, I will show you around,” he says.“I’m
paying for it?” Nzalo, shocked.
“I’m running a business Nzalo, not church charity.”
I also thought it was free coffee but I guess Zola has toget an
Ewallet, hence the customer mistreatment.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 35
ZOLA

Nale and I need to have a tough conversation when weget

home. I have thought about this for a few days, I could’ve
brainstormed with her but sometimes Nale overanalyses
and overacts. I don’t want my parents to fall out, I believe
she feels the same. If we can ask
Thami to visit mom’s cousin, just across the village, for
two weeks. Then bring her mother here, get someone tohelp
her while we are at work, just for two weeks. I believe my
parents can rekindle whatever it is that’s dead in their
marriage and strengthen their bond again. Having a handful
of responsibilities might also be the reason why the
communication is broken.

We packed before going to work, now we just have tofreshen

up and get in the car. My phone rings, it’s
Xolani. He knows that I’m leaving today.
“I’m outside, can I see you for two minutes?”
This is a surprise, we talked earlier and he didn’t
mention anything.
I leave Nale taking a bath and go to him on the road. We
haven’t been together this week, probably the first week to
end without us seeing one another. I don’t think it was
intentional, we were just caught up in different things.
“Makoti,” he says, pulling me for a quick smooch. “I
didn’t expect you here,” I say.
“It’s an emergency,” he says.
I’m confused. “What’s happening?” “I
have to go to Hluhluwe,” he says. “This
weekend? What’s happening?”
“We think Mazwi will be present for his daughter’s birthday.
Robyn managed to get an exclusive invite,” hesays.
My week couldn’t have ended any worse.“So
you’re going with Robyn?” I ask.
“Yeah, but she’s traveling with them and staying at their
lodge,” he says.
I’d be lying if I said that makes me feel better. He lied
about who Robyn was at first, now they’re going to the
same location.
“If you find him what will you do?” I ask.
“I will find out where he lives, then my business with
Robyn will be done. I will handle everything with Nzalo
afterwards,” he says.
I take a deep breath, I have to keep it together.“Safe
travels,” I say.
“Can you look at me in the eyes?”
I sigh and turn my eyes to him. “Yes?”
“I love you and only you. I know I have put you in a difficult
position, this is not comfortable for both of us. Idon’t want
trust to be questionable between us.”
“I hear you, Xolani,” I say.
“What are you going to buy for your dad?”“I
don’t know, he likes fruits,” I say.
“That’s too coincidental, I have this for him.” He takes asealed
brown envelope and gives it to me.
“What is this? Can I open it?” I ask.
“It’s something about fruits, but him and I will talk aboutit if
he agrees to have that meeting you promised me,” he says.
“There’s no need, I talked to my mother about it and shesaid
I can move in with you if I want, she will handle her
husband,” I say.
“That’s a woman to woman agreement, I still need to have
an agreement with your father as well,” he says.
“Do I tell him this is from you?” I ask.
“You can, but everything is written down anyway. Can Ihave a
kiss?”
We kiss again. His hand stays on my cheek.
“Once this is all over, which is soon, you’re going to have me
and everything you want. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for
you Nokuzola, as long as it’s within myreach.”
“Really?” He knows how to soften me up.
“Really, I appreciate how patient you are with me. I will
never intentionally disappoint you,” he says and smiles.
“Then we will go on December vacation and make a baby,
angithi?”
“No!” I’m not thinking about having a baby yet.
“Are you scared of being a mom?” he asks.
“Not really, but I don’t want to have kids out of wedlock,"I
say.
“December is still months away,” he says.
“Meaning?” I’m confused.
“Nale is at the door,” he says.
It’s been more than two minutes.
“I have to go. When are you coming back?”
“Sunday I will be home, waiting for you to come and
sleepover. Sengilala ngizigoqe njengoshwamu,” he says.
I laugh, “Shwarma, not shwamu.”
We kiss and part ways.

Nale is already looking impatient, it’s not my fault thatNzalo is

not going to Hluhluwe with his former sex partner. Aren't I
just lucky?
Sigh.
“You won’t believe this,” I say.
“What?” Curiosity overtakes anger.
“He’s going to Hluhluwe with Robyn, they think Mazwiwill
show up for his daughter’s private birthday celebration,” I
say.
“Him and Robyn, together? Amanzi ama lapha ake amakhona,
meaning a dick always fucks where it has once
fucked. Don’t you know that?”
“He promised to keep his distance,” I say.
“And you believe men, Zola? Men? We should be goingto
Hluhluwe too, undercover unqualified investigators being
investigated; investigation on investigation.”
I laugh, “No, we are not going to Hluhluwe.” “Why
not? What is this?” She grabs the letter.
“It’s for my dad, he wants them to meet and discuss
fruits and me moving in with him. Don’t open it,” I say.
“We have glue, we will seal it back. What if it sayssomething
else?”
“I trust him,” I grab it back.
She rolls her eyes, “You are so boring!”
.
.
. NZALO

It’s Friday, he planned to have a solo dinner and earlynight.

But MaMkhwanazi just walked in with food
containers. He told her that he won’t be able to join themfor
FFM- Friday Family Movie night. It’s a tradition they have
always followed, her marrying their father was too soon but
it really changed their lives for the better.
Maybe that’s why it’s been hard looking at her differently.
Even now, it’s hard for him to absorb everything his uncle has
said. If it happens that his mother’s case was jeopardized
with, it’s possible that Musa had other connections, it’s not
someone in the family. There’s still a 50% chance of him
being really dead. There’s no evidence, just assumptions
made by his uncle’s booty- call to milk money off him.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you hate home,”
MaMkhwanazi says. She knows her way around the
kitchen; she wastes no time before getting a plate and
dishing for him. She cooked and brought him food, a very
motherly stunt.
“I just enjoy my own company more as I grow up,” he
says.
“You are by yourself throughout the week, on weekendsyou
should be home. Is it Nalenhle’s influence?”
He sighs, “Ncane, no.”
“Who knows? People change when they’re in new
relationships. I just don’t want you to be distant,
especially after the dream that I had.”
“What dream?” He frowns.
“You won’t believe this. I also can’t believe it because
Thobile and I only met once, we didn’t even get to know
each other. But she actually came to me in a dream last
night.”
“My mother? What did she do or say?” His curiosity
heightens. He’s been thinking about his mother a lotlately.
“She was basically thanking me for raising and loving her
kids. Then she asked me to protect you guys, especially
you. She said there’s someone trying to getbetween us,
before disappearing she assured me thatshe’s resting in
peace and reunited with your father.”
Nzalo takes a huge sigh of relief. His mother is resting in
peace, that’s music to his ears.
“I have been so worried about her, especially the
inability to communicate with her in my dreams,” he
says.
“Well, she is fine. She just wants you to not let anyoneturn
you against your family,” MaMkhwanazi says.
“But I’m not going to turn against anyone,” he says.
“Your sudden close relationship with Xolani must be what
is upsetting her. You know he hated your fatherand he
won’t rest until his family breaks apart, all because he’s
obsessed with me.” She puts a plate infront of him.
“Coffee?”
Nzalo shakes his head, “I want to have an early night, Iwill
drink water.”
“There’s something I’ve been trying to protect you from,”she
sits down.
“Oh yeah?” Nzalo raises his eyes, his mouth full.
“Xolani is paying people to harass Musa’s family. You
remember him, right?”
“Ncane how can I forget him? He made me motherless at
23. Babomncane kind of told me a bit about that,” hesays.
MaMkhwanazi’s eyes widen. “Is it? I told him to keepthat
madness to himself and not dig old wounds. Oh Jesus,
that’s why you’ve been so down and moody!”
“No Ncane, I actually told him to go ahead if he thinks
something is off. I mean, what harm can it do?” he says.
“We will re-live that trauma, for what? Your mother is
resting in peace, she is busy harassing an innocent woman
and her daughter, people who had nothing to dowith what
Musa did.”
“But he’s not harassing them, he just has someonekeeping
close tabs on them,” he says.
“That’s harassment,” she says.
“No, it’s a female who’s pretending to be a family friend.She’s
not doing any harm, just watching everything for him,” he
says.
She nods, “Mmmm, I guess you’re right.”
“Yeah, you and I should sit back and let him do his thing.
Maybe it’s his way of redeeming himself and coming
back to the family. I have seen a change in him eversince he
scored himself a young, fresh perfect ten.”
“He has a new girlfriend?” MaMkhwanazi raises her
eyebrows.
“I’m talking about Zola,” he says.
“Perfect ten?” She scoffs.
“She’s pretty ncane, I think the prettiest girls in the world
have the Thabethe genes.” His Nale is a proof of that, a well
balanced perfect ten.
“I’m taking my containers because you don’t like
bringing my things back. My son is alone at home,”
MaMkhwanazi says.
“Tell that punk to call me.”
.
.
.

Zola wouldn’t be happy to find out that he sent Robyn his

room number . She’s on her way to him right now and it’s
after 8pm. It’s a suspicious move, she called andsaid
something has happened. Tomorrow she’s attending the
party at Amorello, he expected to hear
from her tomorrow. This could be a stunt, Robyn doesn’ttake
a no.
Anyway he gets her from the reception, to his surprise
she’s dragging her suitcase with a small bag over her arm.
“And then?” He’s confused.
“I don’t know, you tell me Xolani.” Robyn is furious, her
make-up is all over the place.
They can’t do this here, she will make a scene. He takesher to
his room, a very compromising situation to be in.
“Robyn talk,” he says after closing the door.
“I almost died, Winnie got a phone call from your
brother’s wife telling her there’s a woman hired to keep tabs
on her. What kind of stupidity is this Xolani? I was dragged
out of the guest house like a madwoman. The only reason
her security guards didn’t kill me is becauseI had sex with
one of them.”
“What the fuck!” he curses, his hands on his head, goingto the
window. Nzalo had one job, just one! To keep his mouth shut.
“Nzalokayise doesn’t know what I’m made of, I see his
father never told him.” He’s seething, if Nzalo is not
flying out of the country right now, then his doctor shouldbe
ready with scissors and bandages.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 36
NALENHLE

I was scared that her mom would ululate again when we

arrive. Luckily she doesn’t, I guess her husband told her that
the car doesn’t belong to Zola. She’s still happy to
see her driving though. Everything is normal when weget
inside the house. I guess this happy front they areputting
is what have blinded us into thinking they are happy all
this time. My mother looks all kinds of cute, dressed up
with her earrings on.
I sit next to her, she’s always glowing with happinesswhen I’m
around.
“You smell so good,” I say.
She smiles and pulls me closer.
“You should eat and get ready, we have to do thistonight,”
my uncle says.
“Is it that urgent?” I want to chill with my mother.
“I don’t see why we should waste time, Zola will take uswith
the car.”
I guess that’s why my mother is dressed up and smellinggood.
I thought I’d have a night to rest. I still don’t understand why
it’s only me going with them. Maybe he wants me to keep an
eye on my mother because
sometimes she’s stubborn.

I eat and go to my bedroom to change. Zola’s motherfollows

me.
“Can I come in?” she’s at the door.
“Yes.” I have nothing to hide, I can never be indecent forher,
she raised me up.
She sits on my bed, heaving a sigh. It looks like she’shere for
something serious.
“Is everything alright aunty?” I ask.
“Yeah, everything is alright. I just want us to talk aboutyou.”
She’s scaring me.
I’ve been on my best behavior for months now.“What
did I do?” I ask.
She chuckles, “Nothing, asiquli amacala.”
But she’s taking a deep breath, as if something heavy is
coming.
“You know who you are, right?” she asks.“I’m
Nalenhle,” I say.
“Yeah, and you will remain Nalenhle through it all.
Nothing about who you are revolves around external
factors or who did what, to who. I know you have
questions that you need answers for, but the Nalenhle Ihelped
to raise has the strength of an ox. You will
triumph against anything, you’re a strong girl.”
“I really appreciate the pep talk aunty, I just wonder what
inspired you to do this,” I say.
“Tonight might change the way you look at things. I justdon’t
want it to change the way you look at yourself,” she says.
“Is tonight more than fetching mkhulu's spirit?” I ask.
“Unfortunately yes, there are things your uncle will say
there that will clear a lot of confusion you’ve had for years.
I wish there was a better way to do it, a less painful one.”
She’s really concerned. Now I’m worried and curious at the
same time.
I didn’t get to meet my grandfather, he was killed, I’m not
even sure Zola remembers him either. But I know he was
never brought home, something about him being killed with
a weapon.
.
.
.

Zola is taking us to the sugarcane field where he was buried.

It’s outside the village, I have no idea why malume has
waited for so long to fetch him. Zola is to remain inside the
car, while the three of us go to the grave. I feel bad for him, it
looks like he was abandoned.
I hold my mother, malume has ihlahla in his hand. He’s been
here before, he doesn’t search more than a minutebefore
locating the grave. He kneels down, I try getting my mother
on her knees too but she refuses. I can’t reason with her
here, there’s no time. I get on my knees,malume grabs my
hand and holds it.
“This is where the head of Thabethes’ spirit has beenresting
for the past 25 years,” he says.
It’s cold, I just want this to be done and over with.
“Thabethe,” he talks to the grave. “You know how things
were when you left. You know the damage you did for you
to die in the hands of your son.”
His son? What the hell? I pull my hand from his. He
grabs it back.
Did he kill my grandfather?
“This Nalenhle, I gave her the name. Regardless of howshe
came, to us she symbolized an abundance of happiness,” he
says.
I smile, he will always be my best man in the wholeworld.
“You had ran away when she was born and you didn’tget a
chance to see how beautiful she is, because youdidn’t
deserve it,” he says.
I sense a son and father feud. This is not a friendly ritualfor
him.
“Bazamile is here with me,” he says.
My mother is really on her diva tendencies shem.
“I don’t know how you thought I’d do this,” he grabs myhand
tighter.
A moment of silence passes, my nipples are literallyfreezing
under the dress.
“Nalenhle…” he takes a deep breath. My
mother’s hand touches my shoulder.“This
is our father,” he says.
“I see,” I say.
“Yours too,” he adds.
“Huh?” I’m confused.
“Our own father was sexually violating his daughter.”
My whole body trembles. I’m gasping for air, I feel hands
embracing me around my shoulders. It’s my mother, my
uncle has my hand. I want to cry, that’s how to release pain,
but there’s no urge. I get off my knees and hold mymother
for dear life.
.
.
.
ZOLA

It has happened, I don’t even know where to start. My

mother decided to sleep in her sister-in-law’s bedroom, my
aunt needs someone as much as Nale does. But forthe first
time Nale is suffering in silence. I wish she can throw one of
her tantrums, she can even blame me if
that would make her feel better, I’d take it.
It’s late, but her light is still on so I know that she’s not
asleep. I should’ve brought a bottle of wine and hidden it
somewhere since I knew what we were coming to. I make
two cups of tea and take a box of cookies to her room.
“I don’t want tea Zola,” she turns to the other side. “Fine,
you don’t have to drink it,” I put everything down.
I’m going to sit here, if she wants me to sleep with her
then I will fetch my blanket.
“Did you know all this time?” she asks.
“I swear, I didn’t know until last week when dad visitedus,” I
say.
“And you didn’t tell me? My mother’s own father?” She sits
up.
This is what I wanted, for her to talk about it.
“It’s a sensitive thing, I didn’t know how to handle it myself.
I’m also hurt because all my aunt has ever needed is love.
She’s a diva, just like you and I, but she’s a good woman. I
don’t understand how her ownfather didn’t want to protect
her.”
“I want to kill him,” she says.
“Dad already did the needful, he’s the first murderer I’mproud
of.”
She takes a deep sigh, “All I keep thinking about is howmuch
my mother has suffered.”
“It takes a strong woman to keep standing against allodds
the way she’s done. Wena, how do you feel about…” I can't
even say the word.
“Being an incest child?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I nod.
“It doesn’t change who I am. Maybe I wasn’t meant to
have a dad, which is a great thing if my dad was goingto be
my grandfather at the same time. I’m good with
having just an uncle, at least he loves and protects me.”
“It’s a sad situation, I guess Khanyisa's mom was itchingto tell
you,” I say.
“Wait, she insinuated that my mother was sleeping around
willingly? How dare she, with her two color face!"
Umh, I wasn’t perpetuating any violence.
“I think aunty should visit us for two weeks, she needs toget
out of the village. Maybe the fighting couple will make up
too, then she will come back to a comfortable environment. I
want to spoil her, nobody deserves it more than her.”
“Yes, I can ask Slee’s aunt to look after her, she’sunemployed,”
she says.
I’m so relieved she’s not taking this the bad way.
“I have been thinking about for a week, I thought you’d
think I’m being unreasonable. Thami will go to Maka
Queen. Everyone just has to get a break, especially your
mom.”
“Yeah, this is a good idea. I will go and sleep with her
tonight, I think she needs me more than anyone by herside.
I just needed to get my emotions levelled. I don’t want her
to feel bad, it wasn’t her fault and the dad talkwill never be
heard of from again now onwards.”
My phone disturbs the moment. Xolani at this time? He
knows that I’m home, at this time I could be in bed possibly
with my mom.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Nokuzola, I’m going to kill him.”
“What are you talking about?” I’m confused.
“Nzalokayise, I’m going to kill him.” I can hear that he’snot still
where he is.
“Why are you going to kill Nzalo?” I ask.The
name grabs Nale’s attention.
“He ruined this whole fuckin’ thing, running his mouth tothat
whore.” His language is very strong, I can tell he’s losing it.
“Is there any bar closeby?” I ask.
“I don’t want alcohol Nokuzola, I want that boy.”
“Okay sleep, you will get him tomorrow. I love you,okay?”
I hear a deep sigh before he drops the call.
“Did you just tell him to get Nzalo tomorrow? What didhe
do?”
“It sounds like the mission is off, he told MaMkhwanazi
everything.”
Her mouth drops open. I’m just as shocked. He could’veran
his mouth early this week and they would’ve made another
plan, not wait a day before the party.
“He is a snake,” I say.
“Hhayi-bo! If he is a snake then he is a small snake andMr X
is a big snake, they’re uncle and nephew.” Stupid argument.
I’m very annoyed by this. We were so close, now Robyn’s
contract will be renewed and she will be in hislife for longer.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Zola’s mom doesn’t want to go to her husband, luckily there’s

a sponge. I let the two of them sleep in bed andsleep on the
floor. I feel bad for my uncle, it looks like
she wants nothing to do with him even on a heavy nightlike
this. He ended up doing the ritual by himself, I couldn’t
stand it, I took my mother and left him alone in the
rondavel.
“Aunty we are going to take mom to visit us for two
weeks,” I say.
It’s almost midnight but we are still awake, me and her,mom is
asleep.
“Two weeks? Who will take care of her?” she asks.
“I have friend whose aunt has been looking for piece
jobs,” I say.
“A stranger Nalenhle? I don’t know, it would’ve beenbetter if
it was someone we know and trust.”
I completely understand where her concerns come from,but
not everyone is her father-in-law.
“It’s a 53 year old woman, I doubt she’d want to harmher,” I
say.
“I will have to see her first,” she says.
“That’s fine,” I say.
“I will go and visit my family in that two weeks.”
Nope, never. That’s not the purpose.
“I think you should spend them with your husband
instead, exclusively," I say.
“He has his sheep and chickens,” she dismisses.
“Hhayi-bo, don’t you love him anymore? Talk,
Khanyisa’s mom is lonely.”
“Lonely for who?” She laughs silently.“Noma
yiphi indoda elahlile,” I say.
“I don’t know why you’re talking about men at your age.You
don’t know what marriage is, it can feel like a prison,” she
says.
“Really? I’d gladly become an inmate for Nzalo.”“Is
he still around?” She sounds shocked.
I know my relationships don’t last but it’s never that bad,she is
exaggerating.
“He bought me this iPhone,” I tell her.
“That doesn’t mean anything, a man can buy you an
aeroplane while you are not in his heart,” says the enemy of
progress.
“I’m in his heart,” I argue.
“Yoh Nale, I’m scared about this particular one. If this boy
leaves you, we’ll definitely get a call from hospital,”she
says.
I’ve never had a non-dramatic breakup, that’s why all myex’s
are like enemies to me. Especially those who dumped me first,
even those I wasn’t feeling anyway, I hated when they ended
things.
"But for real Malumekazi, do you still love my uncle?" Iask.
She chuckles, "Of course, I love him."
"Okay, I will treat you guys with breakfast for two in your
bedroom tomorrow," I say.
"You watch too many movies," she laughs.
.
.
.

I thought I’d be the first to wake up, everyone would be

comfortable in their beds. But Zola is awake too. She’s on
the phone while making breakfast, and by breakfast Imean
her own Morvite.
“Don’t make a scene Xolani, wait for him at his gym instead
of going to MaMkhwanazi’s house,” she says.She’s advising
Xolani, the senior citizen that has seenover 40 Christmases,
to go and attack a baby at the gym.
I plug a kettle of water and go outside. I’m calling Nzalo,he
needs to be aware of what’s going on.
“Hey babe,” he answers.
“Don’t go to the gym,” I say.
He chuckles, “Are you a seer? I’m on my way there.”
“Your uncle is on his way, coming to kill you becauseyou
told MaMkhwanazi everything.” I won’t lie, I’m
disappointed in him. It’s giving snake vibes.
“What did I tell her?” He sounds confused.
“I don’t know but I know that you are in trouble and you
ruined the investigation,” I say.
“Maybe he will explain it better,” he’s stubborn.
He thinks Mr X is going to explain with his mouth, notfists.
I did my part; I warned him.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 37
ZOLA

I’ve been checking my phone since his last call, I want toknow
where how him and Nzalo “talked”. I know Nzalo
fucked up but I don’t want this to cause another fallout. I
believe there’s still another way they can get to Musa’s
family.
Nale calls me to the kitchen for breakfast after treating my
parents with a special one, served in a different room. Our
breakfast is short of bacon and sausages, theother breakfast
looked nicer. We dig in, Thami is with us
and auntie. The mood is better than I expected, I don’t know
if it’s too early to say Nale has made peace with the daddy
issue. She might be still processing it. Eitherway I’m proud of
her for keeping it together.

I’m curious about my parents situation but we can’t address

it with Thami around, so I just tell him aboutwhat Nale and I
planned.
“Auntie is going to visit us, you will go to Queen’s momwhile
she’s gone because mom and dad will be occupied with
something else,” I say.
“Queen’s mom? No, I’m not going,” he says. “Why
not?” I didn’t think he’d make this difficult.“They talk
about people everyday,” he says.
Nale turns her eyes, “And what’s wrong with that?”
“I don’t like listening to people’s business that gotnothing to
do with me," he says.
I swear boys don’t know how necessary it is to listen tojuicy
gossip, to stay knowing what’s happening in people’s
personal lives.
“You have earphones,” I say.
It’s not like he ever really listens, he’s always on hisphone.
“Okay,” he says.
I know he’s not okay with it, he just doesn’t want the
conversation to keep going.
Dad calls me, he’s yelling my name.
I’m not sure why he’s calling, they’re supposed to befeeding
each other and having a sweet little
reconciliation. I leave my food and go to their bedroom.

He’s holding the letter I gave him yesterday. It doesn’t look

like they talked, judging by how distant they seatedfrom one
another.
“So I warn you against an older man and you run to tell him to
propose marriage?” He’s calm, I can’t tell whetherhe’s angry
or not.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I’m confused.
“This letter!” he waves it up. “The Hadebes are cominghere
on the 29th. Did you say this was okay? Knowing very well
how I feel about that relationship.”
“No baba, I don’t know anything about him coming here
to…” Wait, don’t I know?
God, I swear it’s not what it looks like.
“I’m asking Nokuzola. Did you agree to him sending his
people here to discuss marriage matters?”
Why is mom so quiet? I need backup.
“No, to me he said his house is cold then asked if I’d be okay
moving in with him, I then said he must come and talk to
you,” I explain.
He sighs, “So basically you said yes?” “To
move in with him, not marriage,” I say.
“Oh, you think it’s better to just cohabit without him
honouring your family and paying his dues?” he asks.
“Of course not.” I’ve never been so confused.
He folds the letter and puts it away. “You can go.”

I walk out, confused. I’ve never been dumb. Yes, I wasn’t the
Top 5 in school but my intelligence can’t bequestioned. I ask
Nale to the side, maybe she will understand this.
“I’m engaged,” I say.
Her eyes pop out. “To who?”
“Xolani, that letter is for the lobola negotiations meeting.
Apparently I said yes to the proposal. Do you think I’m
dumb?”
“Yes, obviously. When did he propose? Pictures? Ring?”she
asks.
I feel dumber.
“He didn’t even propose, we had a casual conversationand
that was it. Next thing he sends the letter and I'm
the courier woman.” I can’t believe it.
“Even in pre-apartheid era, this never happened. You are
lucky but also very unlucky. On a scale of one to romantic,
I’m giving this a negative zero. I wasn’t there, there’s no
diamond ring, no pictures and memories. Justa letter and
confused woman. Are you going to let him go ahead?”
“I wouldn’t have said no if it was a direct proposal,” I say.
“So it’s a yes? You don’t care about the ring and the kneeling
part.” Nale’s expectations of life have alwaysbeen above mine
and any realistic person.
“Yeah, but I have to call him, he could’ve communicatedthis,” I
can’t just let this go.
“Didn’t he? You’re not always going to understand him,no
offense but…”
“I will be offended, so you better keep it to yourself.” Oneof
these days I will tell him that she calls him a senior citizen, if
not sugardaddy…not that he’s a daddy with nosugar.
Even though he communicated, I feel like his
indirectness kind of tricked me.

Nale returns inside, I stand against the wall and call him.
“Makoti,” he answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you want to marry me?” I
ask.
“I believe I told you before we even went on our first
date. What’s going on?”
“The letter Xolani, you asked my dad to expect your people
on the 29th for lobola negotiations. When did wehave that
conversation?”
“In the car, I can’t remember the date,” he says.
“Our conversation was about me moving in with you," Isay,
my memory is very sharp.
“But at this age Nokuzola, with all other offenses I havedone
to your father, you wanted me to just take you in without
doing the needful?”
“No, but…”
“But what Nokuzola?”
“You could’ve proposed right.”
“Which way is right?” he asks.
“Getting a ring, proposing on your knee and making it a
moment to remember,” I say.
“Okay, when do you want me to do it? Send me your size
and I will ask my PA to contact a jeweller.” He doesn’t get it,
he’s turning this into a professional task.
“Never mind,” I say.
“But I do mind, I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. Have you spoken to Nzalo?”
“I’m walking in to his gym right now. I will call you back.Have
you eaten?”
I roll my eyes, “Yes.”
“Who made you food? I know your hands always have
cramps.”
I laugh, he knows me very well.
“Nale,” I say.
“Thank her for me, I appreciate her taking care of mylazy
dollface.”
I’m not lazy, I always make my bed and do my own
sandwiches. It’s just that Nale is the type that does toomuch,
making people question me. Also, taller people have higher
bone mass, they are stronger, I’m shorterthan Nale for crying
out loud.
.
.
.

SKHUNDLA THABETHE

He might be sending his daughter away, off to marriage.This is

what every father wants for their daughter, he never thought
he’d be this unhappy when it finally happens.
“Maybe if I paid enough attention she wouldn’t be doingthis,”
he says, thinking out loud.
His wife sighs, “Nokuzola is in love, let her be.”
“With a man 4 years younger than me? Nokuzola is a child.”
He shakes his head, it feels like she was born justyesterday.
“Maybe it’s because of me, that’s why she
found comfort in him.”
“Thabethe, honestly, age is just a number. He loves her,look
at the car she’s driving. On top of that, he wants topay
lobola. Or you wanted a young boy who’d get her pregnant
and then run away? Because that’s what boysher age are
good at.”
He takes a deep breath. Maybe she’s right, he’sexaggerating.
He looks at her, sitting on the other corner of the bed. Nale
even brought a white porcelain plate designed withicing love
shapes, but they didn’t eat together.
“What did I do Khululiwe?” he asks.
She turns away. It’s what she always does, she neverexplains
what really went wrong in their marriage.
“Tell me, I will apologize. Look at us, how old are we?Do
you think I want to go through divorce and chase other
women?”
“Because it’s always about you and what inconveniences you
baba kaNokuzola?” she asks.
“That’s not what I mean. I just want us to fix what’s broken,
even the kids want us to be happy,” he says.
“Us to be happy?” She shakes her head.
“Yes,” Thabethe says.
“Your happiness is seeing your sister happy, your livestock
multiplying in the kraal and having sex. Thoseare your three
sources of happiness. Marriage is fallingapart because I’m
no longer fulfilling some of my dutiesas a wife, that’s why
you ran to the kids and told them something is wrong. But
tell me Thabethe, what makesme happy? Then we can fix
both sides.”
“I don’t understand, are you saying you’re not happy?”He
looks confused.
“You are my husband, what makes me happy? Answerthe
question,” she says.
“Many things make you happy, just tell me what I haveto
make right,” he says.
Tears burn her eyes but the last thing he will do is walkout to
the children with teary eyes.
“You don’t know me anymore Thabethe. You don’t know
what I go through, you never ask, you never say thank you.
You expect so much from me and I always deliver because I
love you. I’m old, I’m tired, I’m not going to start over and
tell you my favorite colour and all the
things you should know about me as a wife. Before youstart
complaining about what you’re not getting, ask yourself
what have you done to make me happy in the last 5 years.”
“But I take care of you, I always do my part,” he says.
“Nokuzola and Nalenhle also take care of me. Maybe even
better than you do. You keep talking about sharing
responsibilities, when you cook do you ever cook my
favorite meal or the focus is always on what Bazamile likes
for the day?” It’s crazy to even talk about her sister-in-law in
this manner because she has never done anything wrong.
Thabethe keeps quiet, all of a sudden he can’t hold the
conversation he’s been wanting to have.
“Nokuzola called me and told about her boyfriend wanting
her to move in with him. Do you know what Isaid? She could
do whatever she wanted, as long as
she’s going to be happy because I have failed her as a
mother. I didn’t teach her to put herself first, I taught my
daughter that it’s okay to come second. Now I’m in this
marriage, again teaching her that it’s okay to stay in a
marriage that prioritizes everyone before you. To birth kids
for a man and then allow him to love them less. It’sthe
tributes I’ve made okay. A mediocre level I’ve set asnormal,
not just for myself but for my kids as well.”
“But I love my kids, it’s unfair for you to make it soundlike I
don’t,” he says, his voice quavering.
“Do they believe that? You told me Nokuzola cried for your
love. That’s a position I put her in, and she could possibly
carry that inferior mindset to her own marriage.”A few drops
of tears escape but she quickly wipes them away.
“Things are going to be better now, I have done what I
needed to do. All I’m asking for is a chance to fix where Ihave
broken. My intention has never been to hurt you and my
children. Please don’t leave me, I’m nothing
without you.”
She stands up and picks the tray Nale served them on.“I
have to send Thami to the shop.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 38
ZOLA
I’ve been trying not to pay attention to it, but things lookbad.
Thami had to take out the sheep because their owner hasn’t
come out of the bedroom since morning.
Nale also sees it but we haven’t discussed it becausemom
is here. She’s acting normal, now helping Nale
with lunch. I’m also helping, showing them where thingsare
when they’re looking. Xolani hasn’t gotten back to me,
hopefully they sorted it out in a calm manner.
Thami walks in with a parcel sent to dad by one of his friends.
Mom directs him to the bedroom, I hope dad isputting on a
strong face. I’m not at ease, a part of me
has been wanting to go and check up on him, but I don’t
want my mom to think I’m poking my long nose in their elder
issues.

Thami comes out of the bedroom and says dad wants to talk
to me. I have been waiting for this opportunity since
morning.
“Wait!” I’m being stopped by my mother.
She’s taking off her cooking apron, going there beforeme.
Nale looks at me, worry etched on her forehead lines.
“Breakfast was a bad idea,” she says remorsefully.
“No, this has nothing to do with you. Breakfast was anice
treat,” I say.
She takes a heavy breath and turns back to her pots. Ittakes
a few minutes for my mother to come out, she
finally allows me to go to him.
I knock at the door, his voice tells me to come in. He’s lying
in bed, when I walk in he sits up. In 29 years of mylife, I have
never seen my dad with a puffy face that shows traces of a
heavy crying. My heart breaks, he can’t even hold eye
contact.
“You’ve been here all day, is everything alright?” “No,”
he sighs heavily and asks me to have a seat.“I asked
you because you are the eldest,” he says.
I start holding my breath, this situation is escalating waytoo
fast.
“Firstly, I want to apologize to you for not loving you theway I
was supposed to. I know it’s a bit too late, the damage has
already been done.”
“But we talked about that, you explained and I
understand.” I’m confused as to why this is being
brought up again.
“I know but it’s important that I acknowledge it andapologize
to you,” he says.
I nod, “Okay, I appreciate it.”
He take another deep breath. “I messed up my marriage
mntanami. I know you can all tell that things are not good.
Your mother wants to leave.”
“No!” That can’t happen.
“She’s fed up and I can see where I went wrong. I’m going to
try my best to fix the situation, I want you and
your siblings to calm down. Don’t stress about this, I will
handle it.”
I don’t know how he expects us to keep calm. If mom
really leaves him that means Nale has to come back home,
which will put me in a position of being the onlyperson
working.
“Can I book you guys to a marriage counselor? Or call
mom’s family to come and intervene?” I ask.
“No, don’t,” he refuses.
“We wanted auntie to visit us next week, hoping youguys
will have some time to yourselves,” I say.
“That can help, better than getting other people
involved,” he says.
.
.
.
I have to brief Nale about it. Mom is not in the kitchen
when I come back, which gives me an opportunity to
break the news.
“Is he alright?” Nale asks.
“I’d be lying if I said so. Mom wants to leave, he refused
marriage counseling and family meeting. The only thinghe
agreed to is having some time together. Have you spoken to
Slee?”
“Yeah, but I’m yet to talk to her aunt about how muchher
service will cost,” she says.
“It’s only looking after auntie, making sure she eats,
takes her meds, goes to the bathroom when needs to and
stays clean. Any other house activities is for us when we
come back from work.” It’s only for two weeks,she shouldn’t
charge us crazy.
“Wasn’t last night’s ritual supposed to bring light to thefamily?
Why is it that as soon as that man’s spirit is brought here
things fall apart?” She’s asking a valid question.
Things were bad, but not this bad. I think my grandfatherwas
okay left in the fields.
“Is it possible to take him back to the sugarcane field?” Iask
and we both laugh.
The situation is bad, for the sake of everyone I pray my
mother sits down and thinks about her decision. If
there’s still love there can be a solution. If she needs to be
released from some of her duties that can be done. My aunt
receives disability grant, finding her extra helping hands
wouldn’t be hard especially in the village.Thami can take
care of himself, he already does.
.
.
.

Thabethe finally leaves the bedroom, passing Nale withher

mother outside the door having lunch. His wife scolded him
about talking to Zola about their problems again. She has a
point, kids shouldn’t be involved in
adult affairs, but then again his relationship with his daughter
almost bite the dust because he didn’t communicate what his
situation was. He’s trying to dobetter, hence he’s
communicating with her.
He enters the rondavel, his hands on his waist. He should
be kneeling, their alter is here, but he doesn’t.There is no
need for that.
“You betrayed me,” he says with a heavy sigh.
It’s not the first time that his father has let him down.
“You wanted to come home and as soon soon as you are
here the last string breaks. I’m not saying things were good
but my wife wasn’t threatening to pack her bags and leave.
What do you think is going to becomeof this family
without her?”
He takes another deep sigh and shakes his head. “I’d
expect you to help me. If you help me you’re helping
Bazamile and Nalenhle, and your grandkids too. For once,
be a good light to your family.”
.
.
.
NALENHLE

We only have this week until mom comes this side. Weare
holding our breath that Zola’s mom doesn’t leave, once
she’s alone with her husband he will remind her why they
got married in the first place. I know she still
loves him, she just hasn’t been loved right or shown
affection, which makes her feel less appreciated by him.And
one thing I can swear on is that my uncle loves his wife.
I haven’t seen Nzalo, I don’t know how things ended with
his uncle. But he’s on his way, I cried of stomach cramps
and he promised me some meds. Obviously I thought he
was going to send me money for a doctor, that’s what
good men do. Then I would’ve made somehome made
remedy and kept the money. I’m in a longdress that used
to be Zola’s mother’s, it’s two times bigger than me. This is
how he’d want me to look everyday.
I’m bored, Zola is not here, from work she went to Mr X’s
house. My eyes are on the clock every two minutes until I
hear his car outside. I get him from the door, I have
definitely missed him. I’m coming from the most hardest
weekend of my life, I don’t even know how I’m still standing
this strong.
He hugs me with a little frown on his face. “And then?”
“And then what?” I ask, he’s looking at my dress.
“You look different. Is it a weekend glow I’m seeing?”Glow? I
doubt that I have any.
“Why the long face? Didn’t you have a good weekend?”
“It was okay.” I’m not ready to talk about that part of my
life. I’m trying not to think much about it, worrying about
my uncle’s marriage is a good mind distraction.
“How was yours? Did Mr X beat you?” I ask.
He sighs and hands me the McDonald’s foodie bag and
pharmacy paperbag.
We sit down, I take out the chips and pour sauce, thenstart
with the burger.
“How are the cramps?” he asks.
I’m confused. “From where?”
“Okay eat, then we’ll talk because I have to go
somewhere for a few days.”
I stop eating. This is not the time for him to leave me.“Where
are you going?” I ask.
“I’m going to Hluhluwe,” he says.
“I’m confused. Is it business related or pleasure?”
“Babomncane came to me, you know that, you were theone
to warn me.”
“Did he beat you?” I ask.
“We were in public but he was mad.”
“Kodwa nawe! Why did you tell MaMkhwanazi?”
“I didn’t, well at least that’s what I thought because I didn’t
give her any exclusive details. I was just trying totalk to my
mother and shedding some light to her. But clearly her and
I are on different teams.”
I don’t know if I like how calm he looks, he was betrayedfor
God’s sake.
“Did you ask her about it?” I ask.
“No, but I will. It’s just not a priority at the moment. I
need to find Winnie, Musa’s fiance. They are still in
Hluhluwe,” he says.
“But you can’t just go there. What if…?”
“I don’t have time to cat chase and do all the things
babomncane is doing, hiring former strippers to go
undercover. I have other important things to do with mytime
and money. So I will find Winnie wherever she is and she will
tell me if Musa is alive or not, then she willtell me what
business she has with ncane.”
Okay, let’s be realistic here. His uncle wasn’t stupid fordoing
this lowkey, he’s not just going to get all the
information he wants. Is Winnie a stupid woman? I
highly doubt.
“What if she doesn’t talk or lie to you?” I ask.
“Then her daughter will talk,” he says.
Why am I so forgetful?
“Don’t kidnap people Nzalo,” I say.
“Are you going to drink the pills?”
Irrelevant question, we are talking about something else.
“I don’t want you to go to jail, please get Mr X involved inthis.
I’m sad that you’re leaving though, I thought I’d spend most
of this week with you. My mother is coming
to visit next week, she will be here for two weeks so I
won’t be able to see you.”
“I will see you, why not? I want to meet your mom,” he
says.
“She will like you because you smell nice,” I say.
“Really? I will unbox more perfumes and please my
mother-in-law.”
Gosh, I almost forgot to update him.
“Your uncle sent a letter to my uncle. Did he tell you?”“What?
No.” He looks shocked.
I love it when I break the news and the listener looks
shocked.
“Well, he did. Zola will be your aunt,” I say.
“That’s nice, I guess he kept us in the dark for a reason.”
“Don’t tell MaMkhwanazi,” I say.
He sighs, “Ok.”
Everyone knows that he’s a singing canary.
.
.
.

AT THE THABETHES

After a silent dinner Thami goes to his room, not really

bothered. Khululiwe gathers dishes and takes them to
the kitchen. While she’s gone Thabethe helps his sister to
bed, as he opens her meds trying to help her, his wifewalks
in.
“Don’t worry, I will do it,” she says.
“But I thought since you’ve been busy all day I’d do this.”“It’s
fine Thabethe.” She takes over.
Bazamile makes no fuss, she sits still during the exchange and
complies with Khululiwe as she gives herthe pills. Thabethe
makes his way out of the door,
Khululiwe fixes her pillow and helps her in bed. As sheturns to
go away, Bazamile holds her hand.
There’s no communication, Khululiwe puts her hand over
hers and smiles. It’s what she does when showing
appreciation. She has no doubt that if Bazamile was able to
speak they would have been best friends.
“Nale called earlier having stomach cramps but when I
called her again she said she was feeling better. I will call
her again in the morning and hear how she slept.”
Bazamile pats her on the arm and then lets go.
“Goodnight aunty, your brother is waiting for me,”Khululiwe
says and walks out.
She’s trying to make it sound like everything is alright but
they haven’t, and Bazamile knows that. She knowsthat
Nale and Zola are going to take her away. Her
hands search around, it takes a few seconds for them toget
hold of the plastic bag that keeps all her medication.
Usually Khululiwe keeps them inside the cupboard buttoday
she forgot them next to her pillow.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 39
ZOLA

He’s not apologetic about the unromantic proposal, not that

I expected him to be. I missed him, I didn’t even tellhim I’d
be coming here after work. I surprised him and
he was happy. For a change I bought dinner on the way,there
was a man selling socks and I decided to buy
them for him. I know it’s not the quality he wears, he’s
probably not going to wear them if I’m not around. But
he’s happy, way happier than I expected.
We get in bed, he’s wearing them.“Awusemuhle,” he
says.
I put an effort, I’m here because I missed him. He
kisses my forehead and lies down, facing me.
“I don’t know if I should inform the people I call my family
about where we are or just let it be,” he says.
“Let them know, even if they don’t care you would haveplayed
your part,” I say.
“I will tell them, just not now, I’m still mad at Nzalo,” hesays.
“He will fix it, at least now he knows who to trust. Do you
ever talk to Msindisi?” I hardly hear him talking about him,
their relationship just seems even more dead than his and
MaMkhwanazi’s.
“We don’t talk unless we see each other, we’ve neverbeen
close anyway,” he says.
“And the girl?” I ask.
He smiles, “Purity? She is very beautiful and pure. You
wouldn’t tell that she’s one of us. But we also don’t talk
very often, but it’s because of the family politics.”
“Mmmm, I hear you.” I hold his hand, I’m cold.
“You will give me a girl, right?” he asks.
Again, the baby talk arises.
“Yes, in a few years to come,” I say.He
smiles, “Thank you.”
He pulls me closer and kisses my forehead. Then hewraps his
arm around me.
There were times when we just cuddled and slept, that was
before we got intimate. I have never made the first move, he
always leads. Today I want sex and it doesn’t look like he’s in
the mood, I don’t know how to. Do I spellit out?
He strokes my cheek, “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” I say.
He stares at me longer, then takes a deep breath.
“I love you, I hope you know and believe that,” he says.I
nod, “I know Xolani, and I love you too.”
“If I met you sooner we’d be married and have children
running around by now. But dreams delayed are not
dreams denied, God saved the best one for the last.”
“The last, okay.” I’m blushing.
“There will never be another after you.” He releases a
deep sigh, squeezing me on his chest. A kiss on the cheek
lands, then he tightens the embrace.
Still, no sign of sex.
We didn’t spend time together last week, that’s why I’mhere
today. There’s a situation at home that I need to
forget about for a while.
“Bhungane,” I say, softly whispering.
“Why are you calling me so nicely?”
Fuck me, that’s what I want.
“I miss you,” that’s what my mouth say.
“I’m here sthandwa sami, I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, I miss being touched by you,” I specify.
He looks at me, now I’m shy.
“I’m sorry, I thought you said you missed being with me.”
There’s a bit panic in his voice. Maybe he’s not used to a
woman asking him for sex.
“I’m a bit exhausted sthandwa sami but…” He cups myboob
up, our lips connect.
He kisses me, with every breath it gets deeper. I can feelhis
shaft growing.
His hand disappears between my legs, I pull them apartfor
more accessibility.
His fingers are soon dripping with my wetness. He moves off
the pillow, grabs my legs up and shoves hishead between
them. His tongue plays with my clit. It
feels good, I love clit stimulation that’s accompanied witha
finger digging in my cookie. But the finger can only do so
much.
“Please Xolani!” I beg.
He traps my clit between his lips and shakes his face onmy
mound. It doesn’t take two minutes for all the juices Iwas
holding back to splash out. My legs tremble in the air, he
doesn’t stop until my body becomes still.
I catch my breath while he gets a towel to clean me. I
don’t think I will have any penetration today. I came, I
love the feeling, but I love it more when I’m sharing it
with him.
“What made you tired?” I ask.
He kisses my cheek, lying next to me again.
“I think working, plus I haven’t been to the gym in three
weeks, my body is not strong,” he says.
Dating an old person already showing me flames?
Funny enough, I don’t even think he’s tired.
“I don’t want to give a bad performance,” he says.
“It’s fine,” I kiss his lips.
He smiles, “I love how you moan my name. You’re thecutest
thing ever.”
.
.
.

He’s already up, I open my eyes to his phone ringing. He

rushes over and takes it. He drops the call instead of
answering it. Then he comes and kisses my forehead.
“I will run you a bath. What do you want to eat?” he
asks.
“I will have something at work, I don’t want to eat too
early,” I say.
“Sorry I woke you up, I forgot to put it on silence,” hesays.
“It’s fine, I should wake up anyway, I don’t want to be
late.” I get up, he puts his arm around me then walks meto
the bathroom. I take a bath, the water is so warm I don’t
want to get out. But I have to go to work.

My phone is ringing, I left it on bed. I walk out of the

bathroom wrapped in a towel, my phone is in his hand.
“It’s your dad,” he says.
“Thank God!” I know he would’ve answered it if it was
someone else.
I call dad back, putting him on loudspeaker while I
moisturize my body.
“Nokuzola are you with your cousin?” he asks.
“Umh, no. But we’ll be together at work,” I say.
“Please get her and come home,” he says.
“Why?” My body starts feeling heavy.
“There’s a little accident, you have to tell your bossesand
come home.”
Xolani wraps his arms around me.“Is
everyone alright?” I ask.
“Yes, everyone is alright,” he assures me.
I’m a bit relieved but still scared. My mind just goes tomy
mother, I don’t know why.
“Hey, everyone is alright, you heard him,” Xolani hugsme
tighter.
“But he can’t just call us home without any emergency,” Isay.
“There are family emergencies that are not bad. Do you
want me to drive you?”
“No, thank you.” I appreciate it but I don’t want my dad
to feel disrespected. I think I can drive, I just have to callNale
first.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

The only thing I can do is pray that whatever accident

happened didn’t leave anyone permanently injured. I called
home last night and everyone was okay. I’m trying
my best to stay calm, Zola is driving. Then I receive a text
from Khanyisa asking me to buy breads for her on
the way. Very strange of her to ask me favours but I askZola to
make a stop at the garage and get them.
There are people on the road, walking towards our home.
There are some who are leaving as we arrive. I was okay this
whole time, death didn’t cross my mind. But this is exactly
what village people do when there’s been death in the
family. They dress up, put things overtheir shoulders and
flock in and out, in numbers.
Zola stops the car before it’s even properly parked. I open
my door, leave Khanyisa breads and my bag inside the car.
We make our way in, Thami didn’t go toschool, he’s outside
the door.
I ask him what happened but Zola’s mother appears.“Please
come inside.”
We walk inside the kitchen, get sat down on the chairs.
There’s Khanyisa’s mom too, someone who hardly comes
here. Their faces don’t show good news.
“Where is my mother?” I see things being moved out ofher
bedroom by Khanyisa.
I get off the chair, already screaming because they are
looking at me weirdly and Khanyisa is moving things outof
my mother’s room.
“When your uncle called Nokuzola we had just discovered
your mother unconscious in her bedroom,”she says.
“Unconscious? Where is she is? Is she conscious now?”
Zola holds me back.
“The ambulance came and they told us she’s passedon,” she
says.
My mother was sick, yes. But she wasn’t gravely sick, she’s
been on medication since I was 10 years old andthe doctors
promised us that if she eats healthy, drinksher meds
properly she will live long. 48 is not long.
“Phephisa sisi,” Khanyisa’s mom holds me as Zola startscrying
too.
She could’ve died while I was here with her, I would’ve had
a chance to say goodbye and buy her last perfumeand
cuddle on her bed. Knowing how much I needed her, why
did God take my one and only parent? Why would He be so
unfair to one person her whole life and then take her so
unexpectedly? I really don’t know whatthat man is ever
going to do to convince me that he loves me.
.
.
.
It’s been a day since we came home and got the news. Iwake
up to the pain feeling fresher. I have to wake up before
everyone and start doing some chores around
the yard because Khanyisa’s mom said if I don’t, I willforever
oversleep in the mornings and get lazy. I’m boiling water so
that when they wake up from the
rondavel they will have warm water to bath with. Thamicomes
in, joining me.
“How did you sleep?” he asks.
“Not good, I’m not going to lie. I just don’t understandhow
she slept fine and woke up dead.” It makes no sense, maybe
an autopsy will give answers.
“She drank pills,” he says.
“Whaaat? What pills?” This is news to me.
“Didn’t Ma tell you? Auntie overdosed, we don’t know if it
was a mistake, maybe she thought she was drinking one pill
feeling pain somewhere.”
“Why would she have pills next to her in the first place?” No,
no, no.
And they had the nerve to make it sound like she just woke up
dead. Is that even a phrase? Literally she didn’twake up.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,” he regrets it.
I’m crying again, leaving everything and going to my uncle
outside. Why would they hide how my mother died? I’m her
daughter, I deserved to know as soon as Igot here.
“Malume, did my mother overdose?” I ask. He
looks up, eyes widened. I need answers.“Did
she? Who left her with the pills?” I ask.
“It was a mistake, I thought I left them in the cupboard,”he
says.
“So my mother killed herself and you gave her a recipe to do
so?” I’m hurt beyond understanding. That can’t be
a mistake. I said I will take my mother and give him
space to be with his wife.
“She didn’t kill herself, why would she want to leave
you?” He stands up and tries to hold me.
I don’t want to be held, now it makes sense why all of this
never made sense. My mother would’ve dozed offafter
receiving the right amount of her medication.
“Did she even overdose herself?” At this point I don’ttrust
anyone.
“You have to calm down, your aunt is already having a hard
time processing this. Throwing accusations like thiswon’t
help because you know my heart, you know your aunt’s
heart. Why would I stay with my sister for decades and then
decide to kill her now?”
“Because you felt like she’s a burden to you and yourwife,” I
say.
“That’s not true,” he denies it.
But I can see the guilt in his eyes.My
mother was killed.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 40
ZOLA

A family comes together when mourning, in most cases.

However ours have broken apart, Nale has been mad at
my parents after finding out that her mother overdosed. It
wasn’t supposed to be something they hid from her, I
understand that. But I will not accept her overburdening my
parents, especially my dad, with her anger on top of
everything he’s been going through. His aunt is here, my
grandmother’s stepsister who doesn’t give a day in her life to
check up on this family. But today she’s here, rallying behind
Nale and demanding answers neither one of my parent have.
My biological grandmother lovedmy mother, she wanted my
dad to marry her while she was still alive. Unfortunately it
only happened after her death, but one thing I’m sure of is
that my mother has always had her blessing. So I’m not going
to stand for a mean grandmother I know nothing about to
come here and start mistreating my mother.

I want to be there for Nale, God knows I do. But I can’ttalk

to her while she’s harbouring such ill feelings against my
parents. Khanyisa has been around, their
friendship has been rekindled by grief. Tomorrow is the
funeral, she’s not allowed out of the yard so I’ve been
doing most shopping alone, which makes my life better
because I prefer us not to be around each other at thistime.
My phone rings, it’s Xolani. He’s been very supportive,
against my will he will have some of his people attendingthe
funeral.
“Hey Hadebe,” I answer.
“Makoti, how is it going?”
“Just busy, nothing much is happening.”
“I’m around your village, I thought I’d drop you a few
things to give you comfort,” he says.
“You didn’t need to.” I know he’s not just around myvillage
by mistake, he intentionally came here.
“Come out for a few minutes, I won’t come too close,” he
says.
I leave the dishes and quickly fix myself in my upside down
bedroom, then walk out. Nobody is paying much attention,
everyone is busy, aunt’s body is coming homethis afternoon.

His car appears behind the old church building, still nobody
sees me, I’m free as soon as I disappear aroundthe corner. I
open the door and hop inside, he parks at
the side of the road.
“So you just happened to drive by?” I ask.
He smiles, “I swear, I was also surprised seeing thefamiliar
road.”
“Mmmm. So what are you here for?” I ask.
“A few things, I know you’re busy.” His few things includetwo
large shopping bags and folded cash that he says I should drop
on isoso for Nale.
“Where is Nzalo?” I ask.
He sighs, “Don’t ask me about that mad boy.”
“Hhayi-bo what did he do?” I need him to be supportiveto
Nale during this period.
“He’s just like his father,” he says.
I don’t know what that means, I haven’t talked to Nzaloin a
while.
“Let me not keep you.” He pulls me for a kiss.
I really appreciate him coming here, it’s very thoughtfulof
him.
.
.
.

It’s easy to think that just because someone has certain

disabilities that limit them from becoming active members of
the family, their absence will be slightly felt.But that's not
the case. Thami cries, my dad cries, everyone of us cries
when she arrives in a coffin. I’ve had an aunt my whole life, I
don’t know a life where she’s not present. Just coming home
to her lifting her arms and
touching me, looking happy. I will miss that, I will missher
obsession with scents and how she’d make a statement
whenever she comes out of her bedroom after taking a bath,
smelling like heaven.
“Mntaka sisi!!!” the grandmother from nowhere starts
wailing louder than everyone, so the attention moves
from people who had real connections to auntie and
goes to her.
“Only if you could talk Bazamile and tell us what
happened,” she cries.
Nale is triggered to cry harder, Khanyisa takes her insidethe
house.
My mother took care of umntaka sisi until the last day.I’m
not going to watch anyone trying to tarnish her name.
The coffin is taken inside after the body viewing below
the kraal. I wait until all the rituals are done then ask mydad
to the side.
“Please tell your fake aunt to leave,” I say.
He sighs, “That’s what I want to do but I can’t.”
“Why not baba? Now everyone thinks my mother killed
auntie. She’s coming out of nowhere, claiming umntakasisi
and making it sound like the only one person who
took care of her killed her,” I ask.
“I talked to your mother, she’s calm. The goal is to getthe
funeral done peacefully before other things are
addressed,” he says.
“Okay, but don’t blame me if I put my hands on her.” I’mnot
going to let anyone from this family to abuse my mother,
she’s the reason why there’s even a thing calleda home here.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
Seeing her coffin going down was the end for me. I have
cried, my chest is dry, my eyes are always itching. But now
I’ve accepted that nothing I do or say is going to bring her
back. She is in a better place, they say. At least now her soul
has left the body that I’m sure she felttrapped in. A body that
didn’t allow her to speak or see.
It will forever hurt me that she passed on without seeingmy
beautiful face. I hope the picture of me she had in her mind
came close to what I really look like.
Her room was cleared, I would’ve loved to spent the night
there. I make myself a cup of tea and go sit behindthe house,
it’s a quiet spot.
I thought I’d be alone, but MaSibisi has managed to findme.
“This is not the mood you should be in, you will make your
mother look back instead of forward. Don’t sit likean
orphan,” she says.
I laugh, “I am an orphan gogo, what are you saying?”
“You are not an orphan while I’m still alive. You have a
grandmother and a home in Pietermaritzburg,” she says.
“I’ve never been there,” I say.
“You will go there now, this is not a safe environment foryou
after what happened to your mother,” she says.
“I stay in Tongaat anyway, not here,” I say.
“That’s even better, when you’re off you can come and spend
time with your Pietermaritzburg family,” she says.
“Okay,” I say.
“Right? I will take some of your mother’s clothes, your
aunt is almost her size.”
“Okay.” I kinda want to be alone.
She kisses my cheek and goes away. I know about her,she
once came for Christmas a long time ago when I was still a
kid. She’s sweet to me, that’s the only thing Icare about
honestly.
.
.
.
I’m in my thoughts, just trying to figure out how this life
thing worked in my mother’s world. Then I hear a
mayhem in the house. I thought such things happen with rich
people who fight for inheritance. How can I block myears?
“Is this how you thank my mother?” Zola comes out of
nowhere with her short self, shouting angrily.
I don’t know what she’s talking about, her mother and I
haven’t said anything to one another. I did what she toldme to
do while she was on the mattress. I only had a
few arguments with her father.
“I bought some of those clothes you’re giving away.
They haven’t even been cleansed for Christ’ sake!” she
continues to explode in anger.
“Call Mr X and vent to him,” I say.
“Nale if I put my hands on you it would look bad.”
Zola should leave jokes to comedians. No short girl willever
beat me.
“Call Mr X,” I tell her again, because whatever she’sgoing
through I can’t help her.
“Your brand new grandmother is not taking shit, unlessthat
shit is you,” she says.
I swear this girl has anger issues. I’m not going to stop
drinking my tea and go argue about clothes. Whoever
takes them, takes them. Nothing is going to bring my
mother back.
“Fuck!” she curses, taking her short self back to the
house.
Thank God, I can now drink my cold tea in peace.
.
.
.
I finally get back inside because it’s getting cold outside.I
check the pots, there’s some food
I warm it and dish for myself. MaSibisi has packed the
small bag she came with.
“Is it not too early to leave?” I ask.
“Your uncle’s wife wants me out of my sister’s house,”she
says.
“That’s sad.” I sit down and eat my food.
Zola comes in, she grabs MaSibisi’s bag and empties
everything against MaSibisi’s disapproval. Zola is slowly
replacing Mysterio, because what in the short people’s
wrestling world is this?
She finds some skirts that belonged to my mother and
takes them away.
“This child has been very rude to me, very rude!” MaSibisi is
having an out of body experience with Zola.
“Because you keep coming for her mother,” my unclesays.
“I haven’t called out anyone’s name,” she says.
“But you’ve been talking to Nalenhle, accusing my wife of
killing Bazamile as if you ever cared for her,” he says.
“Hhayi-ke, Nalenhle is a grown girl. I didn’t tell what to
think, she saw everything for herself.”
“You have disappointed me many times Nalenhle, but
this one takes the cup.” He stands up and leaves. Thami
follows him.
“What did you tell them I saw?” I ask.
“Don’t mind them, they thought I’d let them kill my sister’s
child and then rip off her daughter. They saw thatyou’re now
financially well and decided to eliminate yourmother.”
I laugh with my R88 bank balance. Financially well, me?
I’m yet to receive what people offered for me in thefuneral
yesterday.
“You think I’m rich?” I needed a good joke, I really did.“You
have a source of income,” she says.
“Yes, because Zola got me the job.” I may act like a rich
person online but that doesn’t mean I am rich. The house her
grandkids see in pictures is Nzalo’s, the food Ipost is the food
I eat when Nzalo has taken me out. ThisiPhone, I thought I
won it before finding out a man bought it for me.
“Does she have inside connections?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say.
“Oh, she’s one of the top people inside?”
“Yes, she’s one of the bosses. Didn’t you see her caroutside?”
“Wow, Skhundla has been blessed.”
She packs her bag again and puts it on couch, then walks out
looking for her sister’s daughter-in-law. I doubtshe still wants
me to visit Pietermaritzburg.
My uncle and I will probably talk at some point. His
disappointment in me is unjustified. Firstly, he lied aboutmy
mother dying in her sleep. Then he said he left the pills next
to her by mistake. Only for his wife to reveal during the
service that she was the last person my mother spent time
with. He lied to me, for no reason, making it hard for me to
understand what really happened to my mother. According
to his wife, she was happy in her last moments. They held
hands, she told her about my stomach cramps and assured
her that shewas going to check up on me in the morning.
That’s the memory I would’ve liked to hold on to, if he didn’t
tell medifferent versions of what happened.
I’m the one who is disappointed in him, really.
.
.
.

NZALO HADEBE

Winnie really thought he was joking when he said he’s got

work to do. She still lied to him, wasting his time. His
girlfriend lost her mother, he couldn’t even be there for her
because Winnie thinks the world revolves around her.
He removes blindfolds from Onathi’s eyes and pushesher
inside the door. Then he closes it and locks it.
Winnie’s eyes pop out when she sees her daughter. Sheno
longer undermines him now, does she?
“Your precious daughter decided to join you,” he says.
“Onathi has nothing to do with this, she has exams
coming up.” She stands up like she’s going to do
something with one leg chained to the bed.
“You should have thought about that yesterday, when Iwas
begging you to talk.” He takes his wrist watch off and grabs a
chair.
“Onathi didn’t I tell you to stay low?” Winnie scolds her
daughter.
“I thought he was my new tutor,” the girl says.
She’s younger than Lwethu but with the long weave and
layers of make up on her face one would think she’s in her
20s already.
“A tutor who looks like a plumber?”
Nzalo chuckles and dusts off his blue overalls. By the way he
wore this after getting the girl. He looked reallynice as a
tutor.
“Why am I here?” the girl is shaking.
“You’re here to make your mother talk.”
“We will see!” Winnie won’t surrender, she made up hermind
as soon as she realized who he was. He can kill Onathi if he
wants.
Nzalo grabs Onathi and ties her around the chair.
Winnie doesn’t look moved. Poor girl won’t stop begging for
forgiveness. He takes out his driller and kneels down to
Onathi’s foot.
“Each failed question gives your daughter’s feet a cutehole
décor,” he says.
“You mean your sister? I’m sure MaMkhwanazi will bevery
happy to find out that you’re disfiguring her daughter. Oh,
and your uncle too. Imagine him findingout that his only
daughter can’t walk because of you.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, simultaneouslywith
Onathi.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 41 NZALO
HADEBE
She’s fooling him, there is no way. That’s what he initially
thought but Winnie’s nonchalance as Onathi begged for
mercy proved that she didn’t care that muchabout her life.
He tapes Onathi’s mouth to shut her up and grabs Winnie
up.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” he asks.
“I don’t think you’re stupid, it’s what you’re doing that Ithink
is stupid. I’m not hiding anything from you, your precious
mother at home is, I’m just a legal guardian,”Winnie says.
Onathi’s tears keep pouring out. Winnie has been her mother
her whole life, even though she knew that she’s not her
biological mother but all these years she’s been under the
impression that her biological mother died andher father’s
wife raised her since she was little. Phindile is her father’s
well-connected cousin who looks after
them since her father has legal issues and can’t live as a
normal person. She knows about the murder her father
committed, it’s still everywhere on the internet.
“What are you to MaMkhwanazi?” Nzalo asks.
“She’s my cousin-in-law,” Winnie says.
“So Musa is her cousin?” His whole life feels like a joke.Musa
is MaMkhwanazi’s family, all this time she’s been
pretending.
“From her mother’s side, their mothers were siblings,”
Winnie starts singing everything out.
In African terms, Musa is MaMkhwanazi’s brother. Her
brother killed his mother for her to marry his dad and
pretty much take everything.
“How do I know that you’re not lying?” he asks.
“By looking at Onathi and telling me if she wasn’t light
skinned who she’d look like,” she says.
Nzalo turns and looks at Onathi. Yeah, everything is a
fuckin’ scam. Onathi does look like his uncle a bit, it’s just
not glaring because she’s of different skin tone.
“When was she born?” he asks.
“2004,” Winnie says.
“Why doesn’t babomncane know about her?”
“You can ask your mother that question," she says.
He folds his fist, clenching his jaw. “Call her my motheragain!”
She sighs, “Okay, ask your father’s wife.”
He takes his watch and walks out of the door, leavingthem
locked outside.
His uncle picks up the phone after three attempts.
“I told you not to call me for your madness,” Xolani says.
“I’m sending you an address, come immediately,” hesays.
“Nzalo, until you have a plan on how you are going to fixthe
mess you created, don’t call me to no address,” -
Xolani.
“Babomncane you have to come here as soon as possible, it’s
urgent.” He drops the call and sends theaddress. His uncle
shouldn’t take 30 minutes cominghere, his patience has run
thinly.
.
.
.

Xolani pulls up, he didn’t want to come but Nzalo madeit

sound important.
“This better be important,” he says, walking up to the
stoep where Nzalo is standing.
Nzalo doesn’t respond, he just opens the door and letshim
inside.
Kidnapping them is not a solution, he will just go to jail. “You
called me here for this rubbish?” he asks looking atthe
teenage girl with swollen eyes and a tape around her mouth.
Nzalo goes to her and takes it off.
“I didn’t harm them, you are here to listen what her
mother said,” Nzalo.
Xolani turns to look at Winnie. “Ya, slayqueen.”
“Hi,” Winnie smiles, none of this scares her. She’s notthe one
Nzalo should be keeping in this old house,
there’s a large life waiting for her, with or without Onathi.
“What do you have to tell me?” Xolani asks.
“Your ex lover has something to tell you, not me. But ke,meet
Onathi," Winnie says.
He turns to the girl, “Hi Onathi, nice to meet you.”
Nzalo clicks his tongue. “She’s fuckin around, Onathi is your
daughter, apparently. Winnie is just a guardian, thereal
mother is MaMkhwanazi and Musa is her cousin.”
“Just like that? Le nsumansumane ikhandwe kuphi?”
Xolani. His head will burst from this folktale he's hearing.
“Look at her carefully, beyond skin tone,” Nzalo says.
Onathi is crying again, begging to be let go between
hiccups.
“2004 baby…what date?” Nzalo refers to Winnie.
“December 25, she’s a Christmas baby. I came into herlife
around May, the following year, she was still a little baby,” she
says.
“You were with MaMkhwanazi in 2004?” Nzalo asks.
“We had a relationship, that’s why I don’t understand,”he
says.
“Did you ever see her pregnant?” Nzalo.
“No, I’m not even sure how much I saw her that year. Iwas a
hustler, but she never told me that she was pregnant. Never!”
he says.
“Musa doesn’t have a child and this girl resembles you.
She’s crying because she’s been living with fake parents.
Now I need to do a DNA test between the twoof you, the
results will determine what I do next,” Nzalosays.
“I need to call Phindile,” he says.
Nzalo stops him, “I will handle it, the most important thing
for you babomncane is the DNA test. You said I
must fix this, right? That’s what I’m doing, don’t interfereuntil
I ask you to.”
Xolani takes a deep breath and looks at Onathi again.There’s
a good chance that she’s his, anything is possible with
MaMkhwanazi. What’s confusing him
though is why she gave her away, knowing how much he’s
always wanted to have a daughter? Even if she doubted
paternity, later in life he made it, they could've conducted
DNA tests and he would’ve became the bestfather to her.
When Onathi was born his brother was notin the picture. Yes,
they had problems because he had no money and wasn’t
always around, but they were stillin love.
“Hello sisi,” he says to Onathi, stepping closer to look ather.
He wants to set her free, whether she's his or not, he just
can't stand a little girl crying like this. After what he went
through with his parents as a son, he always prayed for a
baby girl.
“No babomncane, I’m keeping them here until the
results come back.” Nzalo is mad.
This could be his daughter for crying out loud!
.
.
.
MaMkhwanazi’s day wasn’t good. None of the phones she
wants to get hold of go through. It doesn’t make it easy that
Musa is breathing down his neck. Winnie hasalways been a
tikline though, that woman doesn’t evenlove Musa, she’s
only there for the benefits.
“Ncane!” Nzalo calls her name, walking through thedoor.
She turns her phone to silence and walks out of her room.
Nzalo has been scarce, she didn’t pay attentionbecause
the mother of his girlfriend kicked the bucketanyway.
“You finally missed us,” she says, smiling. Nzalo
looks at her with his forehead creased.
“Can we sit down and talk?” he asks. It’s a good thingthat
Msindisi is not home. He wouldn't have let this conversation
take place.
“Yeah. How did the funeral go?” she asks as they grabseats.
“I think it went well,” Nzalo says.
He thinks? So he didn’t go. Maybe they broke up, that
would be great news.
“I’m yet to cook. What do you want us to talk about?”she
asks.
“Do you have a child ncane?” Nzalo.
“Yeah, three,” she says, her mind is on Musa’s tiklinewho
switched her phone off.
“I mean a biological child that’s your own,” Nzalo says.
Huh? She frowns, her chest is slightly pounding.“Ingane?
Mina?” She's in disbelief.
“Yes, a child ncane,” Nzalo says, his voice firm.
“You are insulting me. Do you know if this was a villageyou
would’ve paid a whole cow for these allegations?”
“Only if you were a maiden. But you are a grown, sexual
active woman with ten bottles of Gyna Guard in your
bathroom."
“Are you out of your mind Nzalo?” Her lips tremble.
She’s already stressed, now this.
“Ncane do you have a child?” Nzalo asks.
“I really wish I had one but the only thing I’ve ever had that
was close to a child was a tedbear that your father
bought me for Valentines Day,” she says, with a straightface.
Nzalo sighs, “I’m not talking about tedbears here.”
“God knows how much I prayed to set my foot in labour
ward.” She looks up, forcing tears to come out. “I didn’tcare
even if it was going to be an ugly baby, I just wanted to have
someone who calls me Ma.”
“With my dad only, not any other man?” Nzalo asks.
“Yes, I had seen what a great father he was to you andyour
siblings,” she says.
“So you observed him for a long time before marrying
him?” he asks.
“Observe? No. Please, let’s stop talking about this, it
takes me back to a dark place.” She wipes off imaginarytears.
Nzalo waits until the imaginary directors in her head say“cut”.
As she stops acting her emotional scene, he asks; “What
is your relationship with Winnie, the mother ofMazwi’s
child?”
He knows something, she can already tell. Maybe that’swhy
Winnie switched off her phone, she’s betrayed her.
“I know Winnie through my church friend,” she says.
“A church friend was the reason you called her after Ihad a
conversation with you, and told her about the undercover
lady babomncane had hired to track her steps?”
She puts her habds on her chest. “Me? Who said I…?”
“I have evidence, so please ncane." He’s fed up with theacts.
“I can explain Nzalo, there’s a good explanation for this.I
know it looks like I betrayed you, but that’s not the case.”
“I’m listening,” he says, intensely glaring at her.
“I don’t want your uncle to hurt innocent people,” she
says, her voice cracking.
“Why do you care so much? Are they not juststrangers?” he
asks.
“I had a vision to save them,” she says.
Nzalo sighs. How did he miss it all these years, a woman he’s
adored so much is a pathological liar!
“There’s somewhere I want us to go,” he says.
She swallows hard, her eyes widened out. “Where? Ihave to
cook for Msindisi.”
“By the time he comes home we will be back,” he says.
“You are scaring me Nzalo, the way you are looking atme," she
says.
Nzalo smiles, “Relax ncane, I just had a rough day, plusNale’s
situation.”
.
.
.

They walk in, she’s a bit frightened walking in this crackyhouse

with worn out paint and dodgy metal door. Her heart almost
jumps out of her throat when her eyes landon Winnie tied to
an old bed.
“Nzalo what is this? Are you now a thug like your uncle?”She’s
shouting for the wrong reasons, she’s not here to ask
questions.
She turns her eyes to the corner, there is Onathi.“Nzalo,
no!” her voice trembles.
“Do you know her?” Nzalo asks.
“Umhhh!” she clears her throat. “I can’t say I’ve everseen
anywhere.”
“You just know Winnie?” Nzalo asks.
“My friend knows her, that’s how I know her.”He
looks at Winnie, “Is that true?”
“She’s my husband’s cousin,” Winnie says.
“What? Hhayi nginebhadi! I think it’s because my
husband died, I need another cleansing. Now I know
every Tom, Dick and Harry. Every nobody husband! Who
is her husband for me to know? Does his namematter in
the grand scheme of things?”
“Phindile stop acting, I’ve been in this dusty house for
three days with no proper food,” Winnie begs.
“Who are you to call my name?” Now MaMkhwanazi
looks prepared to throw hands.
“What weight does your name hold that Winnie can’tmention
when she talks?” Nzalo asks.
This feels like a gang-up now, real tears start coming out.
Msindisi must be home wondering where she went. She’s
come too far with these children, she genuinely loves them.
Nzalo pulls out a gun, now it’s time for business.“Where is
Musa?”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 42
Xolani knows he started a fire and now it won’t be easyto
put it out. Had he known what he knows now, he wouldn’t
have gotten Nzalo involved. Nzalo is ready to kill and his
‘possible’ daughter is there, locked with
Winnie and MaMkhwanazi. Nzalo doesn’t want to let anyof
them go. MaMkhwanazi tried her luck but it didn’t work.
Nzalo finally knows that his mother’s murder was planned
and executed by someone he’s believed in and trusted so
much.

He's been living like a hooligan, Xolani can’t even recognize

who he is anymore. There’s still two weeks togo before the
DNA test results come back. Xolani still wants him to let
Onathi go, she’s also a victim in all this.
He walks in to Nzalo’s house just after he comes backfrom the
gym.
“We need to talk,” he says.
Nzalo sighs, “Is it that important? I need to have breakfast
and proceed with important tasks of the day.”
“You are being unfair to Onathi,” he says.
Nzalo knew that’s what he came here for. Finding out about
Onathi made him forget about his mother’s justicethat he’s
claimed to fight for so long.
“Her loyalties lie with Musa, I don’t want any loose end. Iwill
keep her until the results come back, if you’re her
father then you can be a superhero dad and save her.Then I
will deal with MaMkhwanazi,” Nzalo.
“You are not going to kill anyone, right? If she was involved
in your mother’s death then you will let the lawplay its
course,” he says.
Nzalo chuckles, “Now ‘if’? I thought all along you saidshe
did it. Now after finding out that you might be a daddy for
her it’s ‘if’.”
Xolani sighs heavily, “I just don’t want you to be hated byyour
siblings and possibly new cousin.”
“I don’t care, it’s an eye for an eye. Once I have one piece of
evidence that she killed my mother, I will wipeeach and
every one of her family because clearly this was set-up by all
of them.”
“I just want you to be careful, don’t make emotional
decisions. Have you spoken to Nalenhle?” Xolani asks.
“I’m going to reach out to her, I don’t even know how I’m
going to start explaining myself. When she needed me
the most, I wasn’t there,” he says regretfully.
It’s been heavy two weeks for him, from the day he wentto
Hluhluwe. Nale needed him, but she needed a better version
of him that she could’ve leaned on for support.
He’s something he can’t understand himself. Nale is already
going through a lot, she doesn’t need him as aburden.
“I think they had a fallout, she might be needing youmore
than you think,” his uncle says.
He nods, he has to find a way to see her. They are backfrom
the village.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

I think it would be dumb of me to still expect a lot from

people after everything I’ve been through. So I’m not even
mad at how distant Nzalo has been since my mother passed
on. As soon as I did all that I needed to do after the funeral, I
left. People need their space, my uncle and I are still not on
good terms because he wantsme to apologize. Zola says I
allowed a grown MaSibisi
to bully her mother. I love my aunt, I called her this morning
to check how she’s holding up. She was the closest to my
mother. I have not opened my mouth and said any bad thing
about her. I had an issue with my uncle and I told him to his
face. I don’t owe Zola any apology. Her mother hasn’t asked
any apology from me.Bygones will be bygones.
She got here first and went to Mr X’s house. Avoidingeach
other is what we always do when we are not seeing eye to
eye. Nzalo is on his way here. I didn’t expect his call, I
thought he was out of town or something, dealing with top
priority things.

My phone rings, it’s Msindisi. I hardly get calls from him.

“Hello,” I answer, very surprised.
“Hey, how are you holding up?”
“I’m okay,” I say.
“I heard about the news, I tried calling you once and you
didn’t pick up. Did everything go well?” he asks.
“Yes, it was all good. Thanks for checking up,” I say.
“I will see you, hopefully tomorrow after work. Hang inthere, I
know it’s hard but it gets better with time, I’ve been there,”
he says.
“Thank you.” I really appreciate this.
He’s not someone I expected to get words of comfortfrom.

I hear a car outside, I know it’s not Zola. I usually waitfor

him at the door but today I just want to lie on the
couch and continue eating my crispy chips. I have eatenalmost
half the packet.
He walks in, wearing a hoodie jacket. He looks shady,like he
woke up from the street corner.
“Hey,” he leans over and kisses my cheek.I sit
up, making space for him.
He hugs me, “How are you doing?”“I’m
okay,” I say.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No. For what?”
He releases a deep sigh. “I know there’s no reason good
enough for me to be not the first person to check up on you
everyday when you wake up. But I want you to know that
you’ve been in my prayers since your mother passed away.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that,” I say.
“Babomncane told me that you had a fallout with Zola.
What happened?”
Mr X talks too much. What was the need for him to say
that?
“It was a little misunderstanding,” I say.
“Okay…” He holds my hand and kisses the back of it. “I hope
you don’t feel alone, by the way you look beautiful with a
chiskop.”
It was a must, I didn’t shave off my head by choice.
“I won’t burden you with what’s going on in my life. Just
know that I love you, I’m always with you in my heart. Nopain
stays forever, it will get better with each new dawn. And you
will be stronger than you were yesterday.”
“I believe my mother got the peace she wanted. I’m not
depressed, I’m just grieving and I will be okay in time.
Do whatever you have to do, don’t worry about me,” I
say.
“It’s impossible not to. Do you still want to try and findyour
dad? We can look for him after the storm, gettingyour
mother justice doesn’t have an expiry date,” he says.
“No, I don’t want to find him.” I don’t want to go around
telling people that my grandfather is my father too. Thedad
subject is not something I want to talk about anymore.
“Okay. Do you want us to go out for dinner?” he asks.
“Not really, I will eat noodles and go to bed, I’m tired,” Isay.
“Can I join you?” he asks.
“Here?” I’m surprised.
“Yes, why not? I will go home and change, then comeback.
Unless you want to be alone,” he says.
“No, you can come,” I say.
“Thank you.” He kisses my forehead and looks at the empty
packet I just threw on the floor. He picks it up ashe stands.
“I’m coming back, again I’m really sorry for not being
there sthandwa sami. Do you want me to bring
anything?” he asks.
“No,” I say.
He sighs heavily, “Okay.”
.
.
.
NZALO HADEBE
He has to talk to Msindisi. MaMkhwanazi is not home and
he’s in the dark about everything that’s happening. Chances
of him believing anything evil about MaMkhwanazi are very
slim. But if she just disappears like this he will report to the
police, that’s why Nzalo came to explain the situation.
MaMkhwanazi denied everything about Mazwi and cried a
storm. He could’ve just cracked her skull with bullets, but he
didn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to harm her. He walked out
feelinglike a coward. MaMkhwanazi didn’t hesitate to send
for his mother to be killed but on the other hand he’s
thinking about it. Strange enough, he still has a soft spotfor
her. She knows the real her, normally he wouldn’t
tolerate someone like her, but here he is today. “You’re
here,” Msindisi says with relief as he walks in.“Sho.
Kuhambani?” he asks.
“Nothing, just that ncane hasn’t been home for two daysand
she didn’t tell me anything,” Msindisi says.
“Oh,” he can’t even fake it.
“Do you know anything?” Msindisi asks.
“Yeah, let’s sit,” he says.
They go to the lounge and sit.
“I’m keeping her somewhere, she was involved in our
mother’s murder,” Nzalo says.
“That’s not true. Is it Xolani who put that in your head? You
better let her go.” Msindisi stands up, rolling up hissleeves.
“She has a child, she’s a teenager now,” Nzalo says.
“I don’t care, just bring her home otherwise I’m callingthe
police.”
“Try it mfana wami,” Nzalo dares him.
Wrong guy! Msindisi takes out his phone and calls the police.
Nzalo grabs the phone away before anyone picksup. A fist
follows on Msindisi’s jaw.

Xolani walks in, he knew something like this was going

to happen that’s why he followed Nzalo. He breaks them
apart.
“Wena uyahlanya, you’re really mad,” he says, pointingat
Nzalo.
He hasn’t been using his brain lately.
Msindisi fixes his shirt and attempts walking away.
“Whoah, stop. We are searching this house,” Nzalosays.
“Searching for what?” Msindisi.
“Evidence, starting in her bedroom.”
Xolani sighs, defeated.
.
.
.
Nzalo is turning the bedroom upside down. Msindisi isforced
to look for imaginary evidence because his
brother has turned into a police. Xolani refused to step inside
this bedroom. Msindisi lifts the bed. He’s not surewhether
he’s looking for a gun or dead body. Officer Nzalo just said
evidence.
But definitely sure, he’s not looking for his boxers underhis
stepmother’s bed. So what is this?
They’re old but he still remembers them. They have aknot
tied at the side.
He puts down the bed, wearing a huge frown on her
face.
“Hey look, my…” he doesn’t finish.
Nzalo runs to the bathroom, gagging with vomit. Whatthe
fuck?
Msindisi puts away his old boxers. This probably means
nothing, the bed just hasn’t been moved in a long time. He
opens the jug Nzalo looked in before running to the
bathroom. It’s loaded with sputum and yellowish fluid
that looks like mucus from bacterial infection. Everythinghe
ate threatens to come up.
Nzalo is hovering over the toilet seat. Msindisi pulls hisleg,
almost tripping him. But that does the trick, he bends over
the seat and everything just comes out.
He goes to the sink and rinses his face.
“That jug ncane uses when cooking, she measures
water with,” he says.
“Fuck you, mgodoyi!” Nzalo rushes to the seat again,
more stomach content comes out.
Xolani wasn’t going to enter his brother’s bedroom, they
didn’t get along while he was still alive. But he’s hearing a
gagging match, something is wrong.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 43
NALENHLE

I ended up making turkey and veges. As exhausted as Iam, I

couldn’t let a man come for a sleepover and eat noodles for
dinner. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have cooked, I took my
precious time preparing this meal.
I’m already half way with my plate and the person I
cooked for is still staring at his food. Maybe it’s not
cooked up to his standard.
He catches me looking at him and picks a spoon. He only
eats two full spoons then throws down the spoon, covers his
mouth and rushes to the bathroom. Can menget pregnant? I
don’t understand this.
I get him a glass of water. He’s really throwing up.
I give him water, he rinses his mouth and drinks some.“What’s
wrong?” I ask.
“I have an upset stomach,” he says.
“Should I make you something to drink?” I know a quick
remedy for an upset stomach.
“No, thank you. I will need more than that to be okay,” he
says.
We go back to the lounge. I assume he’s going to sleep with
an empty stomach. My food tastes good, so I know I’m not
the cause of his upset stomach and nausea.
“Maybe you need a doctor,” I say.
“Psychological doctor,” he says.
“That’s deep.” I see he’s not himself, there is something he’s
going through. But I know I can’t share whatever it is, I have
to focus on myself.
“Can I go to bed?” he asks.
“Yeah, I will clear up and join you.” We are just going to
sleep, I can’t have sex until next week. Not that I’m
thinking about it anyway.
I wash the dishes and leave the kitchen clean. I need to fill a
bottle of water, just in case he throws up again.
.
.
.

I suggested that he goes and sees the doctor because he was

throwing up in the morning again. It’s not just anupset
stomach, he’s really sick. I didn’t see Zola at work,I hope we
just missed each other, she’s not missing
work because of Mr X who runs multiple businesses. Itake
a taxi home, while on the way Msindisi texts me,
saying he hasn’t forgotten about today. I even forgot thathe
promised to come and see me.
I get home and do some laundry, then put rice for boiling.
Nzalo hasn’t said anything, I hope he went to thedoctor. I
don’t want to lose another loved one.

My phone rings, it’s Msindisi.

He’s outside, I thought he’d come a bit late.Flowers?
“Are those mine?” I ask.
“Yes, I had to get you something to lift up your mood andby
the smile on your face, I passed,” he says. It’s not just
flowers, he has a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine too.
I lead him inside the house. I should’ve bought cold
drink, our juice ran out this morning.
“How much are you renting here?” he asks.“R2.5, we
pay half each,” I say.
“Not bad,” he looks around, nodding.
His features are different from Nzalo’s. He has a babyface,
there’s something innocent about him.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“I’m okay,” I say.
“No, I mean really. I have lost both parents, I was still in
school when my mother passed and it really felt like theend
of the world,” he says.
“It does. It’s crazy that the actual person who brought you in
the world would just leave you. I can’t explain thegap I feel
in my soul, a huge part of me is gone.” I don’tthink anyone
understands, that’s why I leave my
thoughts in my head.
“And people are telling you how to be strong?”
I laugh, “Bro! As if I want to beat Jabu’s record whose mother
died when she was three. I don’t give a fuck whoelse lost
their mother and continued to live.”
“Don’t listen to them, I know how people are when giving
their condolences. Deal with your emotions now, don’t hold
back the pain, it’s not going to miraculously go away. Don’t
live up to anyone’s expectations, there are
times when a person can’t be strong and that’s okay.”
“You want me to cry now.” I open the box of chocolate, Iwill
eat and cry later.
He laughs, “Not now, I’m not a good shoulder to cry on.”
“That’s why you bribed me with expensive chocolate and
flowers.” I don’t buy chocolate that’s worth more than a bag
of rice.
“Something is burning,” he says.
Fuck, the rice!
I rush to the kitchen and take it off. I will cook curry later.
I get two glasses and take the wine to the lounge wherewe
are chilling.
“Oh no, I have a Christian-part-time-witch mother, I don’t
drink,” he turns down the wine.
So it’s only me who has to get drunk.“I
know you drink,” I say.
“I don’t,” he lies.
“Msindisi, I have seen pictures on Facebook.”He
laughs, “Occasionally.”
He drinks, that’s it.
“Did your brother go to the doctor?” I ask.
“What’s wrong with him?” He frowns.
“He was throwing up all night,” I say.
“Is it?” He laughs, harder than I anticipated.
Maybe it’s an inside joke.
“I’m not joking, he was sick,” I say.
“No, he thinks too much. We saw sputum mixed with yellow
mucus in a jug that ncane uses to cook at home,”he says.
“Ok, I don’t have to hear more.” I don’t want to flush my
wine down the sink.
“My boxers were also there, under her bed,” he says.What the
fuck?!
“Why?” I’m shocked.
“Until I see her, I have no explanation. There were a lotother
things, dark things, I really don’t know what got into her
head.” He’s not even mad about it.
Had it been me I would have fetched a witchdoctor from
Mozambique already.
“Msindisi do you know how dangerous it is for someone to
steal your underwear? There are people who lost their
underwear in childhood who are struggling to conceive
babies.” I can drop names, that’s why most people dry
their underwear indoors.
“But why would she not want me to have babies? That’swhat I
don’t understand.” He has so much faith in her.
“So that your father’s name will die in future,” I say.
“That’s her husband, why would she want that? I think
there’s a misunderstanding but Nzalo doesn’t want me to
see her,” he says.
“Why? Is she not home?” I ask.
“No,” he looks away.
There’s something happening in that family. Nzalo wentto
Hluhluwe, I wonder what he found.
“Let’s not talk about me. I heard that you wanted to findyour
father, are you still looking?”
Sigh!
“Sorry, I shouldn’t be asking such personal…”“No, it’s
fine. I found him, he’s dead,” I say.
“Aw! That’s sad news, in a way.” He doesn’t know howto
react.
“I’m happy for him, trust me he wouldn’t have wanted to
meet me. What his son did to him is nothing to what I
would’ve done to him,” I say.
“Oh, you’ve met his family?” he asks.
I roll my eyes, “I’ve been with his family my whole life.”
“Fuck! Don’t tell me it’s what I’m thinking Nale.”
“It is, unfortunately. He wasn’t just a family member, hewas
my mother’s father. So basically I share a father with my
mother, I’m my mother’s sister.”
“Holy fuck!” He covers his mouth.
“So don’t trust anyone just because they hold a parent title.
The world is a dark place.” I hope he starts lookingat things
differently. I don’t expect his love for MaMkhwanazi to just
die, but he should ask questions and seek answers when
necessary.
“How did you deal with that though?” he asks.
“I don’t know if I’ve dealt with it, many things happenedin a
short space of time. My mother dying, her brother and I
having a fallout. Which I hate because her death should’ve
brought us closer, we are all half siblings.”
“Oh fuck, not half siblings!"
“We are, I have a 47 year old half brother," I say.
“So now you’re having a sibling fight or what?” he asks.
“No, it’s things that happened after my mother’s death,we
clashed. That’s why I’m alone here, his daughter inherited
the fight,” I say.
“That’s sad. Do you need a friend?”
I roll my eyes, laughing. I do have friends, I do need timeto be
alone, so it’s working in my favor anyway.
“I’m serious, let’s go out, maybe you will find a friend. We
won’t drink, it’s Thursday. We’ll eat and search for afriend
that meets the requirements.” He’s so silly.
I don’t need any new friend but going out won’t hurt. Weare
almost the same age, he understands my version of going
out.
“Let me change,” I say.
“No heels, we are not going to any fancy place.”
“Why? You think I don’t deserve a rich friend?” I’moffended.
He laughs his lungs out.
.
.
.

ZOLA

He just came home, he wants us to talk. Something has been

off lately. His mind seems to be somewhere else.
He’s here but he is not present. I hope he wants to talk
about that because I don’t know if it will be nice when it
gets to the point where I address it.
“How was your day?” he asks, sitting down with a beer
glass.
“It was okay,” I say.
“Did you see Nale?”
“No, but I heard she was at work.”
“You need to resolve this,” he says.“I
trust we will, we always do,” I say.
He takes a sip and then sighs. “I’m sure you’ve seen Nzalo
coming in and out, and blowing my phone withcalls.”
His phone is always ringing anyway.
“Musa didn’t have a daughter and he’s Phindile’scousin.”
I won’t lie and say I’m surprised, this had many layers toit.
“What else?” I ask.
“I think she was also doing things to them, to keep them
gentle towards her. There are things we found in her
bedroom. But we’ll solve that, it’s only Msindisi who might
be a problem because despite of everything he still wants
her.”
“So now Nzalo believes you?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says.
I expected to see relief, this is what he’s been fightingfor.
“What is the next step?” I ask.
“He wants to kill her, it’s only a matter of time,” he says.
I understand, I’d want the same if it was my mom. But isit
worth it? He can let the law handle it without getting a
criminal record.
“Nokuzola,” he heaves a deep sigh.
“Yes?” His body language doesn’t give me peace.
He rubs his hands together, “I might have a daughterwith
Phindile.”
“MaMkhwanazi!” I don’t know why he’s using her school
name. “You want to make a baby with her?” I really am acalm
person by nature, I’m still sitting down with my
temper composed.
“No, she’s already a teenager. The girl we all thoughtwas
Musa’s, she’s just his niece. She’s denying it butWinnie
confessed everything, we are just waiting for DNA test
results to come back.”
Whoaaah! Slow down.
“What are you saying?” I’m confused. “Phi…MaMkhwanazi
had a baby while she was in a
relationship with me. She’s been taking care of her all
these years, hiding her.”
“No, I don’t understand. A woman carries a baby for 9
months. How didn’t you know that she was pregnant? Is
it possible to be in a relationship and not see each otherfor
over 9 months.”
“I used to be homeless Nokuzola, I was in Joburg hustling
throughout my twenties. Knowing how much she hates me
now, anything is possible. I don’t think sheever loved me, she
was interested in my brother. That’s why she hid the child,
he wouldn’t have married her if she had a child with me,” he
says.
“So you are saying you have a teenage daughter?” My heart
just sinks. I don’t care that much about a daughter,but he has
her with MaMkhwanazi.
“Possibly,” he says.
“And you did a DNA test without telling me? The same
woman you always say you want to build a family with?” This
whole thing makes me mad. He proposed marriageto me and
then kept me in the dark about something thatcan change
our relationship.
“There was no time, Nzalo is holding them hostage,” he says.
“I don’t care Xolani, you could’ve called me. It would’ve
taken less than 5 minutes. How long ago did you do the
test?” I ask.
“It hasn’t been long,” he says.
“But it wasn’t yesterday, right? You had enough time totell
me and you didn’t. So much for someone who claimed to
be an honest, open man! Everything you’vebeen doing
lately is sneaky.”
“That’s not true, I’m honest,” he says.
“Honest? What was the sleeping arrangement in Hluhluwe?”
I’m not stupid, I know Robyn ended up in hislodge after
Winnie kicked her out. I thought he’d explain himself, but no,
he thinks I’m a shallow thinker.
“Sesiyalwa kanti? Are we fighting now?” he asks.
“See, you can’t answer a simple question. Lies are notpart
of the ups and downs I’m willing to endure in a
relationship. I’ve been nothing but supportive to you, I
even involved myself in your fights with your ex-
girlfriends. Don’t take me for a fool.” I’m done with this
conversation.
“Wait!” He stands up and grabs my arm.“What?”
“This is not fair, we can call Robyn right now and ask herif
anything happened between us,” he says.
“Because I was born yesterday, right?”
“You’re accusing me of being a liar, insinuating that I cheated.
How else am I going to prove my innocence?”
“Unlock your phone and give it to me,” I say. His
eyes bulge out. He won’t do it, would he?
"I'm not interested in your past, please don't ever talk to me
about your family issues or MaMkhwanazi. In fact, anything
that doesn't concern me I don't want to hear it,"I say.
"But I called you that night Nokuzola, I was alone."I'm
really done with the conversation.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 44
NALENHLE

I made a bowl of noodles for dinner, I’m tired coming from

work. Last night I had a good time with Msindisi,
even talking to him helped me. I feel bad that I disclosed
some things that Nzalo doesn’t know yet, but Nzalo hasn’t
really been around. I found it easy to talk to Msindisi. We
didn’t find any friend by the way, nobody met the
requirements.
I’m watching news, I’m an adult now, I care about what’s
happening around the world. I hear the door opening, I
didn’t lock. It is is’fikanamthwalo, Nokuzola Victoria
Thabethe with her bags.
“Uphelile umendo?” I ask. Did the “marriage”?
Sometimes I don’t know how to shut up, I can’t help it.
She doesn’t answer, she passes to her bedroom. I didn’thear
any car pulling up. Could it be that she took a taxi?

I know we are not on talking terms but I need this

information. I follow her with my noodles, she’s
unpacking her bag on top of the bed.
“Where is the car?” I ask.
“What car?” she asks.
“The one you got in community of property marriage,” I
say.
“You have never seen me buying a car, so ask me aboutno
car.” Emotions are high.
I get inside and sit on her bed. I won’t give the apologythat
she wants but I do miss her.
“MaMkhwanazi has a daughter,” she says.“A
what?” Oh, hell no.
“With Xolani.”
Shut the front door!
“Since when?” I’m shocked.
“17 years ago. Ngiphumile kuloya muzi, I’m done withthat
family for good,” she says.
“You broke up with Mr X?” I ask.
“No, but I want nothing that’s about his family. He’s stillbusy
with family related matters, so I came back because really,
angizingeni,” she says.
“Yoh!” I can’t believe this. “So where was this child allthis
time?”
“She was with Musa and Winnie, her legal guardian. Musa is
related to MaMkhwanazi, it’s a lot of bullshit happening in
that family. I don’t even know why you hadto go and cry at
that funeral.”
“Haaa! Don’t even start, I’m not the reason why you fellin
love with MaMkhwanazi’s babydaddy.” I feel sorry for
her, if MaMkhwanazi makes it through this, then she is infor a
lot of drama.
“When last did you talk to malume?” I ask.
“Yesterday,” she says.
“I haven’t spoken to him.” I want us to address the
elephant in the room.
“You’re waiting for him to come and grovel? You really never
consider how other people feel. He lost his sister,someone
he’s been through every highs and lows with since their early
twenties. And here you are, making it look like he had
something to do with her death.”
“How did I do that? I asked him questions because I wasn’t
satisfied with the stories he gave me, which I hadevery right
to do.” I don’t see how I’m wrong, my uncle lied to me twice.
“That’s the problem I have with you, Nale. I addressed it
before, when you ruined a birthday lunch. You gather
stones, then stand back innocently and watch someone
throwing them. What do you think happens when long
distant relatives arrive for a funeral and find the deceased
child not speaking to a certain family member? Isolating
herself, as if there’s a problem. Of course they thought
someone killed your mother. Even when MaSibisi said it, you
didn’t beat the allegations.
You didn’t protect the family that raised you.”
I’m dying for MaSibisi’s sins now. On my end, I was justified
to feel the way I was feeling. How does that make me
responsible for what a grown MaSibisi said?
“I had to grieve my mother’s death, question what really
happened, be hands-on during the preparations, and still
protect your 47 year old father for lying?” Ay, mark me
absent. I’m just one person, I can’t handle all that atonce.
“Don’t you think he had a good reason?” she asks. “No,
there’s never a good reason to lie,” I say.
“Oh, that’s very rich coming from you!” She’s making this
about me now.
I have never lied about things that could mess with
someone’s mental health.
“Unless he acknowledges his mistake, I’m not going to
apologize,” I say.
“That’s selfish, you know people will blame him and sayhe’s
abandoned his sister’s child,” she says.
“I don’t care what people say, I know my truth.” I nolonger
want to have this conversation.
We are not going to see things eye to eye. She’s nothearing
me, I’m also not hearing her.
“Should I make you noodles? It’s what we are having for
dinner.” I know she’s not in the mood for cooking, she hardly
ever is.
“Please, I will cook tomorrow,” she says.I
know tomorrow won’t come.
.
.
.

I’m happy she’s back, we cuddle up on the couch

watching a telenovela. I didn’t finish Msindisi’s
chocolate, we are having it while watching. I’m also
having a glass of wine.
There’s a car outside, I don’t think we are expectinganyone. It
could be Mr X.
A knock comes, it’s definitely him. Nzalo would’ve called.“Go
and open,” she says.
“What if it’s a killer?” I stand up and go to the door.
I ask who it is before opening. It’s someone sent by Mr X,
here to drop the car keys, the car is outside. Mr X toldhim to
bring it here.
Zola comes behind me, furious.
“I told him I don’t need it anymore,” she says.
“I don’t know sisi, I was told to bring the car here.” The guy is
really not getting involved, he’s getting in anothercar with two
other guys and leaving.
“I see what he’s doing,” Zola is still ranting.
Some people have nice life problems. My problems never
include someone forcefully giving me a car to useas my own.
“Come on Zola, you can’t be mad about a child that was
made before his pubic hair turned grey,” I say.
“He doesn’t have grey pubic hair, he’s only 43.” Defence
mode!
“Whatever, but being this mad at him makes no sense.
Imagine how he feels finding out that he has a teenage
daughter whose life he hasn’t been a part of. He needs your
support, you’re always spending his money.”
“Oh, so you like him now? You’re his spokesperson,”she
asks.
“No, I’m just using common sense. You can be mad athim
and still support him.” I should’ve became a relationship
counselor, I’m good at fixing people’s relationships.
“He’s also sneaky, I think he’s still sleeping with Robyn.When
he came back from Hluhluwe he didn’t want to have sex with
me, he said he was tired, imagine!”
I also don’t like Robyn and I don’t even know her. Butshe’s
getting too much credit now.
“Did Robyn’s uncle receive a letter from Mr Hadebe?” Iask.
“No,” she says.
“And how long did she know him before you? She couldn’t
get him then, what makes you think she’s goingto get him
now when you are in the picture, driving his car and owning
a spare key to his house?” Fuck Robyn,she doesn’t stand a
chance.
“You are right yazi. Why am I even bothered?”
“Exactly! I know what I’m talking about, I’m always right.”
“Yeah, so where is Nzalo?”
I really don’t know what that has got to do with this
conversation.
My wine…I need a refill.
“Let me call this man,” she minds her business again. Let’s
mind it together. “Put him on loudspeaker,” I says.She gives
me a look before doing so.
“Makoti,” Mr X answers.
Zola takes a deep breath, “Xolani there is a car here.”“I’m
glad he brought it safely,” he says.
“What did I say when I left?” She wants to refuse the car.
God forbid, we could be permanently going back to taxilife.
“You’re fighting with me, Nokuzola. I’m not fighting withyou,
so I don’t see the need to stop fulfilling my responsibilities as
your man,” he says.
“That’s being a bully,” Zola says.
“How? You’re the one bullying me. You don’t even give me a
chance to prove you wrong, you make things up inyour head
and believe them.”
“What did I make up? I asked you where Robyn slept in
Hluhluwe,” she says.
“I booked her another room, I was on the call with you
that night. What do you take me for?”
This is complicated. I don’t know how believable this is.
“Because you hide things Xolani,” she says.
“I didn’t, if it was any other person I would’ve told youabout
the situation. But I already know how you feel about her,
you were going to fight anyway.”
“I don’t know, you could be lying even now. But thanksfor
the car, I will see you tomorrow,” she says.
“So we are good now?” he asks.
“Yeah, I overreacted a bit. I thought about it and realizedthat
you probably need my support more than drama.”
What the fuck? I said that to her, she didn't think it byherself,
she can give credit where it’s due.
“Ngiyabonga sthandwa sami. I miss you a lot, the houseis
cold again.”
She smiles, “Did I leave with the heater?”
“Yes, you know my favorite one is between your legs.
Ungiphathele kahle kodwa imbawula yami? Are youtaking
care of my heater?”
My ears! I don’t think I will ever recover from this.
Imbawula? I take Mr X as an uncle, a senior citizen.
Zola giggles and walks away, her loudspeaker suddenlyoff.
But I heard what I heard, I’m not going to unhear it.

.
.
.
AT THE THABETHES

Khululiwe walks in with two folded pillowcases.

Thabethe is already in bed. His sister’s death hit him hard
and the pain gets worse each day. His wife tries tobe
supportive, she’s put their differences aside for a while.
“I just talked to the girls, they’re together again,” she
says.
It didn’t surprise her, lately they are always fighting and
making up.
Thabethe acknowledges with a nod.
She sighs deeply. “Don’t you think you should celebrate
Bazamile's strength instead of grieving her death?”
“Celebrate Khululiwe? There’s nothing to celebrate,nothing!”
he says.
“I know that’s how it looks like, but she had a long life
that some people of her condition didn’t get to live. Shewas
happy, most of the times,” Khululiwe says.
“And then I killed her,” he says.
“You didn’t. I don’t know why you said that to Nale, you
didn’t have to lie to protect me. I had nothing to hide, I was
just waiting for the right time because I didn’t wanther to
think her mother was a selfish person.”
“You did nothing, it was all my fault,” he says.
“You’re confusing me, Thabethe. What was your fault?We
both found her dead in the morning,” Khululiwe looks at him
confused.
“I was scared you were leaving me, I went to the
rondavel and spoke at the alter,” he says.
“What did you say?” Khululiwe asks.
“I complained because things fell apart after I brought his
spirit home. I asked him not to let you leave me, toprotect
my marriage. I wasn’t asking for him to take
Bazamile away in order for you to stay,” he says.
“But why would you do that? Our problems didn’t start
that day. If Nale finds out about this she will think
something else.” Khululiwe sighs, this keeps getting
worse.
“I didn’t know his response would be something so
brutal. Bazamile wasn’t suicidal, we had left her
medication on her bed before, she didn’t attempt
suicide,” he says.
“Wow, Thabethe!” She’s speechless.
Obviously she wasn’t going to leave him after his sister’s
death. But did it have to get there? Bazamile had a daughter,
she still needs her mother. Regardless of her conditions she
was Nale’s mother.
“How am I ever going to face Nalenhle again?” She shakes
her head in disappointment. Her husband could’ve dealt
with the situation differently, without involving the crazy
ancestor who had just been broughtfrom the wild.
“She had just found out the truth about her paternity, next
thing her mother died. You don’t know how guilty Ifeel,” he
says.
Khululiwe sighs. “Let’s just sleep, we will talk about this
tomorrow. I’m getting a headache.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 45 NZALO
HADEBE

Msindisi has been giving him a hard time, despite of

everything that MaMkhwanazi has done, he still believesshe
has a good explanation to make. Now more than ever Nzalo
believes that MaMkhwanazi’s killed his mother, which makes
him despise his father. How he didn’t raise any questions for
so long remains a mystery.His father was a well-connected
man, what his uncle didwithin a few weeks his father
could’ve done it within two days. Clearly he never cared,
maybe he was in it too.

He's home to tell Msindisi that he can come with him

tomorrow and have his moment with MaMkhwanazi,
that’s what he’s been fighting for. From here he’s goingto
see Nale. Only God knows how he’s ever going to make it up
to her. Nale needs him, he knows that too well.
“My brother!” yells Lwethu, running to him at the doorand
hugging him.
“Lwethu what are you doing here?” He’s shocked,they’re
embracing each other.
“I missed home and decided to take a bus,” she says. “A
bus?” He turns his eyes to Msindisi in front of them.
Why does it feel like a set up? Lwethu is going to join forces
with Msindisi and demand MaMkhwanazi back.
“Yeah, I had a good trip,” she says.
“Oh, what a surprise.” He hasn’t seen his sister since
their father’s funeral. Yes, he missed her but her timingis
wrong.
“You look horrible,” Lwethu says, not holding anythingback as
usual.
He chuckles, “Wait until you start working. So how longare
you going to be home?”
“Until Tuesday,” she says.
“Wow!” His eyes go back to Msindisi again. He’senjoying
this, isn’t he?

Lwethu is a child, to him she will always be regardless ofthe

long weaves she’s learnt to wear. If Onathi is really aHadebe
then they will have two teenage girls. He’s beenhard on
Onathi, which pisses his uncle off because in his mind she’s
already his daughter.
Lwethu disappears, he turns to Msindisi.
“Did you tell her to come home?” he asks.
“Lwethu doesn’t need an invite to come home. Tomorrow
we will have family dinner, bring ncane backhome,” Msindisi
says.
Frustrating, stupid boy!
This must be how he frustrated his uncle too. There’s
something MaMkhwanazi did, because it can’t be that
Msindisi doesn’t see what’s happening.
“Winnie promised to take me to Musa,” he says.
Msindisi sighs, “I really don’t care about all that.”
“Our mother was killed by the same bustard Msindisi,
then we were lied to. People close to us helped him
escape prison and fabricated a story to cover up.”
“So you’re saying ncane can help someone escape
prison?” Msindisi laughs, shaking his head.
“Dad,” Nzalo says.
“Dad helped a man who killed his wife escape prison?”
“Think about it. What were the chances of him being inthe
dark? Look how fast he moved on,” Nzalo says.
“I don’t know if moving on means you’re helping people
escape prison.” Msindisi is not hearing any of this. It sounds
too far fetched, like a story Nzalo just made up.
“What if I’m right?” Nzalo asks.
“Dad is no more, so are you going to punish ncane? Andthen
what, we become orphans?”
“We can take care of ourselves,” Nzalo says.
“Do you think Lwethu doesn’t want to have a mother? If
Onathi is our cousin, do you think she will be happy if you kill
her mother?” Msindisi asks.
“Our mother died, Lwethu will have to understand that.
MaMkhwanazi was never our mother, that’s why he had your
boxers and dirty jugs in her bedroom. As for Onathi,
unfortunately an eye goes for an eye.”
Lwethu makes her way back, their conversation is cut
short.
“When is ncane coming home?” she asks.
They look at each other. Then Nzalo clears his throat,
“Hopefully soon. Do you want to meet my girlfriend?”
Probably not the best idea but what else to do?
“The one who tags you on social media?” Lwethu asks.
Yep, that’s Nale. After he told her he likes keeping hislife
private, she goes ahead and makes everything public.
“Yeah, you have to meet her in person,” he says.“Mmmm,
okay.” She leaves them again.
Nzalo sighs with relief. It’s a pity that MaMkhwanazi may
come home in a body bag, because he doesn’t seehimself
forgiving her.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
Nzalo called, he’s coming here to see me. I’m happy,Zola
went to Mr X, she lives for him now, and I was bored out of
my mind. I fix the lounge and wait.
It doesn’t take long before he arrives. Now I know what’s
keeping him busy, Msindisi told me. I don’t know if not caring
makes me a bad person. I just don’t care about
the situation at all. As long as he doesn’t go to jail, I’mgood.
I stand outside the door, my arms folded, my cheeks spread
out in a smile. Both doors open, he’s not alone.WTF? Why
is he bringing a girl here without asking mefirst.
“Hey babe,” he kisses my cheek.
The girl is behind him, looking at the unfamiliar
surroundings.
“This is my sister,” he says.
“Oh, hi.” I’m a bit relieved. “Hi
Queen Nale,” she says.
I guess she knows me from social media. Am I famouswithout
knowing?
“Nice to meet you in person,” she confirms it. I’m a
celebrity.
“Let’s get inside,” I say.
“Umh, I have to rush somewhere. You guys can take a meter
taxi and go out for dinner, have fun.” He gives mea bank card
and says Lwethu will give me the pin.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“It’s work related emergency,” he lies through his teeth.
I look at this girl came to dump here. It’s a teenage girl,what
do we even have in common?
He kisses my cheek again. “I love you.” Then
turns to Lwethu, “Behave yourself.”
Does she have a record of not behaving?
How much is in this card? I need a few dresses beforewe
go to that dinner. I will be swiping.
.
.
.
ZOLA

He welcomes me at the door with open arms. I’m here for

one sleepover, to make up for the drama. He smellsgood, as
he always does. He smells like a successful black man.
“You found your way back home?” He lifts my chin up.
“I did.” My lips welcome his, engaging in a sensual
nibble kiss.
He hasn’t been to his barber, I think because of everything
that’s been going on. His facial hair isgrowing back.
“Let’s get inside,” he says, pulling my hand.
This house is my second home now. I don’t think I’ve ever
spent time with a man more than I’ve spent with him.
Sadly he can’t send his people to my dad on the day
agreed on because of the mourning period.
“Who is that?” A man is in his kitchen.
“Oh, that’s someone who’s going to teach you how tocook in
future, he’s here to make us dinner,” he says.
“I know how to cook,” I defend my below the average
cooking skills.
“Really? When are you going to cook for me? I’d be happy
to eat something that my future wife prepared forme,” he
says.
“On a special day,” I say.
“Everyday is special when I’m with you.” He opens the
bedroom door, we get inside.
It looks like we are going to have a little indoor picnic
here.
“I thought we’d have something while waiting for the main
course meal. Should I help you out of this?” He’staking the
coat off from behind.
Then he puts my bag away, we both take our shoes offand sit
on the floor.
“So now let’s talk makoti,” he says.
Can’t we have these fruits and chips first?
“I love you, uyezwa?” he says, there’s a silent but afterthat.
“I know and I love you too,” I say.
“It’s okay to be jealous when you love something because it
comes from a protective place. But too muchjealousy is
toxic,” he says.
“Okay.” I don’t know where this is going.
“Nokuzola do you really think I would have wasted my
time with a short girl who shouted at me so loud that the
whole neighborhood could hear her? Then make plans with
her and even send a letter to her father. Why wouldI do that
if my heart was already with somebody else?”
“I didn’t say you’re with somebody else,” I say.
"Then why did we fight?" he asks.
“Because you didn’t say the truth Xolani.” I know I’m notthe
crazy type.
“You don’t like the lady I was working with, either wayyou
would’ve been angry. But I apologize, you’re my only one.
I’m not going around giving your joystick to anyone else.”
Yoooh! I look at him smiling at me. “You
can come and inspect,” he says.
“Let’s just drink our water.” His penis won’t have a lastseen
date stamped on it anyway.
I trust myself, I’m no longer bothered by what happenedin
Hluhluwe.
He takes a strawberry and brings it to my lips. Xolani
definitely watches Telemundo. He bites the other halfand
then comes to kiss me.
“Ngeke ngik’phoxe mina Nokuzola,” he says, he won’t ever
disappoint me. Let’s see how this goes, I will trusthis word
for now.
“Everything I said I will do, I will do. Nothing has
changed, I’m still going to marry you and have my
babies with you. My whole future is with you.” Every
word he says sounds meaningful.
I don’t think it changes nothing if he’s going to be a dad to
MaMkhwanazi’s hidden daughter. But I believe he willhonor
his word to me.
“Can I say hello?” He nibbles on my lips while pushing me
down on my back. Then his hand slides between mythighs.
“Do you know that i-panty ayigqokwa kwaHadebe?”
“I’m not allowed to wear an underwear?” I know he’sjoking
because he would’ve told me a long time ago.
“No, you’re going to be my wife, right? So wongela bani
indoda yakho ikhona? Huh?” He kisses me before I givean
answer. His hand slides through the side and rubs between
my folds.
I feel my cookie soaking his fingers until they’re slippery.
He’s pleased. “See, your body wants me. Your sweetkunt
wants mama to take daddy in.”
I grab his face and deeply kiss his busy lips.
My panty stretches to the side, he rubs his tip aroundthe
clit before dipping it in and out of my opening.
I hold my breath for a second when he pushes half
inside. “Babyyy!”
“Talk to me dali,” he says.
“Don’t rush me,” I say.
“I won’t, I promise,” he says and rushes his whole dickinside
me.
This is the quickest anyone can break a promise.
"I need you to cum all over me, Nokuzola. I want all thesalt
driving you crazy out." He lifts my leg over his shoulder and
digs me out.
"Ohhh, fuck." It feels so good.I
want him inside me forever.
"I want all that, Nokuzola. It's all mine." He runs a raceon
me, my clit starts vibrating.
He puts my leg down, lies on my chest. His upper body
remains still in its position, only his waist moves, his dickis
buried deeply in my core.
Warm fluid escapes as he moves his waist. Sexual encounter
noises build up around our genitals. The harder he goes, the
wetter the carpet under me gets.
I have to move in rhythm with him for us to leave this room in
time for dinner. I wrap my arms around his neck,his moans are
filling the room.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 46

The DNA results are back, Winnie said the truth. Nzalo was
hoping it wouldn’t turn out this way, this is complicating
things. Xolani excused himself and went outside after seeing
the results. He’s always wanted a child, this could have been
a dream come truth if it wasunder different circumstances.
Him and MaMkhwanazi are enemies, they have been for
years. He can’t forgiveher for anything that she’s done to
him and his family.
But she has taken care of Onathi, she’s lived a good
fake life with fake parents. That child is going to need alot of
counseling, she has traumas. Yes, she’s lived a
flashy lifestyle with Winnie, but everything was enjoyed in
secret. She had a “dad” on the run, her whole life hasbeen
surrounded by liars, murderers, witches and gold-diggers.
Nzalo can’t keep her any longer, they have to go right now.
He is bringing her home with him. It hasn’t sunk inyet that
he’s a dad. Every dream of his is coming true isa very
unexpected way. A daughter and a woman he loves and
going to marry. And he can’t even sit down and celebrate
because some people close to him are inpain.
Winnie is still useful to Nzalo. But MaMkhwanazi's case
needs to be resolved immediately, soon people will start
asking questions, especially her church people.
“Babomncane, we have to talk first,” Nzalo says.
He stops, his brows furrowed. Time is going, his daughter
is in isolation with her ankles chained like awild animal.
“Onathi is not going to love you overnight and hate people
who raised her up. I know she’s just a teenage girl but I need
her to be tracked at all times. At least untilthis situation is
resolved,” Nzalo says.
“You want to put tracker on my daughter?” he asks.
“I need to know what she does, who she talks to, 24/7.”
“No,” he refuses without a second thought. Onathi needs
gentle care and protection, not invasion and torture.
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you,” Nzalo says. He
frowns. Who the fuck does this boy think he is?
“Let’s go,” he walks out with the envelope sealed back inhis
hand.
Onathi is his daughter and he’s going to protect her at allcosts.
.
.
.

Winnie has given up, the moment MaMkhwanazi joined

them she knew it was either she chooses Nzalo’s side ordie
here. Without MaMkhwanazi, Musa can’t do anything. He
also depends on MaMkhwanazi for everything, from food to
protection. So she’s sold them
out to save herself. The results are back, finally they know
that she wasn’t lying. Thank God MaMkhwanazi’smouth has
been taped, she couldn’t confront her aboutthe betrayal.
Xolani goes to the bed and removes the chain around
Onathi’s ankles. At this point Onathi’s only desire is
freedom and life. Xolani’s arms wraps around her, physically
she’s weak. Nzalo made sure this feels like amovie
abduction, only feeding them dry bread and boiled
vegetables.
He doesn’t have a heart, there’s no trace of regret in his eyes
as he looks at his uncle taking out the physically ill Onathi.
Yes, she’s innocent in all this, but she’s MaMkhwanazi’s
daughter and all this time she’s enjoyedlife with Winnie and a
long distant Musa knowing very well that Musa faked his own
death after killing a man.
The car takes off with Onathi, Xolani walks back in. Nowhe
wants to address MaMkhwanazi, this witch owes himan
explanation. He tears off the tape, MaMkhwanazi starts
crying for Nzalo not to do this. Nzalo is standing against the
wall, his hands in the pockets, staring as if he has no
conscience.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” Xolani asks.
She wipes her tears and looks at him. She doesn’t like
Xolani, and no circumstance will ever make her grovel tohim.
“About what?” she asks.
“Us having a child together. How did you hide this?”
“I don’t have a child with you,” she says.
He pulls out the results, he’s got proof right here.
“I don’t care what this nonsense says,” she doesn’t evenlook
at it.
“Do you even love her Phindile? Why would you give aninfant
away? No matter how poor I was, I was going to look after our
child. Or your goal was getting on my
brother’s bed from day one?”
“Why are you still angry? Why can’t you move on like a
normal person?” She’s angry, this man has been on herback
for years. He’s the reason why they are here.
“If you do something to Onathi, I swear you will regret it
Xolani. You don’t know who I am, you paedophile!”
Xolani frowns, “What???”
“You’re attracted to young girls, that’s why you couldn’t
wait to take her to your house.” She looks at Nzalo and
begs, “Please don’t let him touch your sister.”
“My sister?” Nzalo frowns.
“Yes, that’s all I ask. In return, we will look for Musa and
make sure he faces the law for his crimes,” she says.
Winnie lifts her head. “What?”
“Musa killed a woman, I shouldn’t have protected him. I
shouldn’t have let blood blindside me. You don’t know how
bad I felt, the first three months weren’t pure love between
Sibusiso and I. I was guilty and trying to makeup for what
my cousin did to his family.”
“Shut your stinking stew-hole up. You’re a pathologicalliar!”
Nzalo, shaking with anger. He will never believe anything
coming from her mouth again.
“So you’re going to kill me?” she asks, her voice stilllacks
remorse.
“What would stop me?” Nzalo asks.
“Your siblings will never forgive you for that.”
She’s not lying, Nzalo knows it. Killing her will create a
division between him and his siblings, especially Msindisi.
He’s prepared to lose it all, his mother deserves justice.
He looks at Winnie, “You will take me to Musa.”
.
.
.

He didn’t waste too much time, he left when Nzalo and

Winnie left for Hluhluwe. This child is already 17 years old,
going to 18. She’s lived her whole family with
different parents. He knows nothing about her, except her
name and that she carries his DNA.
“I’m Xolani,” he introduces himself after they stared at
each other for a minute.
She drops her eyes. As big and luxurious this house is,it’s still
not home. It’s still a foreign land and she doesn’tknow this
man.
“This is difficult to me as it is to you,” he says.
She lifts her head, looking at him with teary eyes. “Is he
going to kill my family?”
“No, nobody is going to kill anyone,” he says.
“But he said he will kill my mom, my aunt and my dad.”
He takes a deep breath and lowers himself next to her.
“Don’t worry about that, Nzalo is just angry. He lost his
mother, somebody has to account.”
She blinks back tears. “I can’t lose my family.”
“Onathi!” he holds her hands. “Winnie is not your mom,yes
she raised you but Phindile is your real mom. And I’m your
dad.”
“If you are my dad you’re not going to let him kill my
family. You’re going to protect my heart for the first time,
I have already gone through a lot, I don’t need to go
through grief again,” she says.
“He won’t, I will make sure he doesn’t,” he says.
“Do you promise?” She has a beautiful, round face. Hereyes
almost look innocent as Msindisi’s.
“I promise,” he says.
“Thank you, Xolani.”
“So what’s the first thing you need beside catching upwith
your studies?” he asks.
“I already took a shower and had something to eat. I guess, I
just need a comfortable bed and warm clothes,”she says.
“I didn’t get a room fixed but that will be sorted soon.
Tomorrow we will get some clothes and then make planson
how we are going to get your belongings from
Winnie’s house.’
“I don’t want to permanently live here,” she says with her
eyes widened.
“For your own safety, I can’t let you go back to be
surrounded by criminals and celebrating your birthdays in
hiding. You will see Winnie but you won’t live with her.You
being my daughter means my enemies, which include your
biology mother, can use you to get me.”
“I don’t even know you, Xolani!” she’s crying again.
He knows it will take time, she will adjust. There’s noother
choice he can give her.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

I don’t like spoilt, rich brats. But I can tolerate Lwethu, she’s
adorable. Today we came to the beach with Msindisi. I
haven’t been in a beach in years. I’m shakingmy small ass in
the waves. My bikinis almost outgrew me. Msindisi came
here to be our guard, he’s looking after our bags.
“You’re missing out,” I tell him.
“Na, I’m good.” He shields his face, looking at me
gulping down wine in a juice bottle.
“When is your ceremony again?” he asks.
“It’s not a ceremony, I’m getting cleansed and it’sSaturday
next week,” I say.
“The goat thing?” he asks.
I laugh, “Yes, you did it as well after your motherpassed,
right?”
“Yeah, we did it.” He takes a deep breath and drops hisface.
“Where is your brother?” I ask.
He shrugs, “I don’t know.”
“I thought you guys would be united in fighting for your
mother’s justice.”
“I’m just confused, Nale,” he says.
“I understand, it’s a lot to process at once. Have you gone to
your mother’s house? Maybe just go there, prayand sleep
over.”
“I don’t know if I trust God. Isn’t he the same God that
ncane prays to?” He looks so stressed out and
confused. I don’t think Nzalo is thinking about how deepthis
actually goes. He’s not considering those around him. Not
discussing anything. He’s taking no advices, not checking up
on anyone, as if this only affects his life.
“What does your uncle say?” I ask.
“Who? Xolani? I don’t talk to that person everyday.” Hisdislike
for Xolani is still alive.
“But knowing his history with MaMkhwanazi, do you stillthink
he was wrong for how he acted towards the
family?” I ask.
“They have history because they’re the same,” he says.
Now I feel sorry for Mr X, nobody deserves to be
compared to MaMkhwanazi.
“But you’re willing to forgive her and not him?” I’m
confused. Mr X is his blood, MaMkhwanazi is just a
stranger that married his father.
“I know her, I don’t know him,” he says.
“You know her?” Nzalo needs to come and kidnap thisone too.
“I mean I know the good things she’s done for our familyand
the community at large. Bad doesn’t have to
outweigh the good,” he says.
“I just think this whole thing sucks. Your brother suckstoo.” I
understand that he’s dealing with a family
situation that needs his undivided attention. But he’s notthe
only one, Mr X is involved in the same situation and he still
checks up on Zola and make time for her.
“Don’t worry, Lwethu and I are here for you,” he says.
“And I appreciate that. But I need him to give me the same
support that I give him. I sleep in your mother’s house with
him whenever he’s going through grief. I spent your
mother’s birthday with him, I could’ve been
doing my things but I understood that he needed me. Your
uncle came the day before the funeral to see howZola was
holding up. I never saw Nzalo, maybe he called me twice and
that was it.”
“Are you kidding me?” He’s shocked.
“I don’t take things personally and I don’t compare myself to
other people. But Nzalo has been consistently away.
Someone I fuckin’ consoled for a mother who diedbefore
Michael Jackson. Now he can’t be there for me.”
He takes my juice bottle away. “I’m really sorry. I thinkyou
need to get dry and put your clothes on.”
“I’m not crying,” I say, wiping my face.
“Yes, you are and people are looking at us.”
Shit, he’s right. Fuckin’ beach gossipmongers.
He puts a towel around me and goes to fetch Lwethu.
They’re still staring at me.
“He’s not my boyfriend and he wasn’t breaking up withme.” I
know that’s what they are thinking.
“I lost my mom…” I’m explaining myself to strangers and
crying.
“Oh my god!” one white lady comes and gives me a hug.Two
other ladies join in. Now I’m being consoled by strangers,
which is even more sad.
“Are those your friends?” the black one asks.I
nod.
“Okay nana, you have to go home, you can’t be at the
beach while you’re under a dark cloud. Is there any elder
you will find home?” She thinks my mother just died.
“Yeah,” I nod, it’s too late to correct the narrative.“Get
my bag, Anna,” she sends the other one.
Before I know it, I’m crying on a white woman’s shoulderand
getting money contributions.
“Are we supposed to give her money?” my white beachaunt
is confused.
“In the black community siyakhalisana,” the black one
says.
I don’t think she understands but she does what othersare
doing. I’m still wet but I manage to hold my money safely.
Msindisi comes back with Lwethu.
“And then?” Lwethu.
“Take her home immediately,” says my new beach, blackaunt.
“We are going home,” Lwethu says, still looking at me
confused.
My white aunt gives me one last hug before letting mego.
Msindisi folds our camp chairs while we are dressing up.
“What happened? Why were you crying?” Lwethu asks.
I don’t see why I should tell her my sob stories, she has no
money.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 47

Winnie has been under his roof, by force, which he cares less
about. She’s been drinking his water, eating his food and
breathing his air. She promised to give him Musa, in return
she’d have her freedom. But no, Winnie actually thinks she’s
smart. She thinks she will make himdrive all the way from
Sandfields to Hluhluwe for
nothing. There’s no one here, not even a trace of Musa.
He unbuttons his coat, pats around his waist a few timesand
then turns to her.
“Is this a game to you?” He’s livid.
“He lives here, this was his aunt’s house,” Winnie isshaking.
There’s not even a pair of shoes Musa left behind. Theyfound
the doors unlocked, it looks like he suspected something was
wrong and fled.
“Then where did he go?” he asks.
“I don’t know, I swear MaMkhwanazi is the only person Ican
think of but she’s been locked up with me too,” she says.
“Ey wena, you’ve been with this man for years, you know
everything about him. Think, now!” he kicks off the
empty bucket in front of him. Winnie trembles, there’s no
single place she can think of right now.
“I don’t know Nzalo,” she says.
“I said think. Or you need help? Should I give you a little
motivation to do so?”
“But you know that I’m not lying. Why would I come all the
way here, you can see that someone was here andmoved
out. He couldn’t get hold of any of us, we had security
guards, they probably saw that Onathi and I didn’t get
home and helped him run away.”
“I’m not going to let you go, this was not our deal.” He sighs
heavily and approaches a frame on the wall. It’s apicture of
Musa, he probably forgot it behind. Lenja iyacwebezela! On
top of killing his mother, MaMkhwanazi has been feeding
him with his father’s money.
“Phindile is full of shit!” he can recognize the shirt Musahas
on the picture. It’s the same shirt that he had customized
made for an event at work and lost it just a few weeks after.
If not to spite his mother, why else would MaMkhwanazi
give him Thobile’s son’s shirt?
“You want to punish the wrong person, I’ve been nothingbut
open,” Winnie begs for mercy.
She has a life to live, a bright future ahead of her. If thislife
fails, she has an option to turn her life around and live an
honest life. She doesn’t have a criminal record and her
marriage to Musa is only traditional.
“I can become a witness, I know everything,” she says.
“No, I want him dead, not looking smart in orange overalls
behind bars exploiting tax-payers. I want to killhim, I want
his family to grieve and mourn him the waymy family did.”
“What about MaMkhwanazi?” She’s gone through the most
horrific interrogation while the creator of this wholemess
gets lukewarm scolding and sits in bed comfortably.
“I will deal with her,” he says.
“That’s what you’ve been singing the whole week.”
He glares at her icily. What she’s not going to do isdictate
her.
“I don’t think you will hold her accountable for anything.
Musa was young when he was asked to commit murder,he’s
already suffering…”
“Ey tsek wena, sfebe! Suffering yamasimba, you have
bodyguards and flashy cars, your so-called daughter went
to private schools, everyday nidla imali yakwaHadebe.”
She shuts her eyes, cold shivers running down herspine.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Find your husband,” he says. “Give
me time, maybe two days.”
“I will, but I need to make sure you don’t betray me first.”She
frowns, “How?”
“Let’s go to the car, we are leaving.” He wraps a clotharound
her mouth.
He can’t just let her go, she probably knows MaMkhwanazi’s
friends and connections. He needs to
find something to hold against her but he definitely won’tbe
keeping her any longer. Her family is already looking for her.
.
.
.

Msindisi drives in his uncle’s house, maybe it’s his second

time here. It’s not that they don’t get along because they
can be in the same space cordially. Theyjust don’t know each
other and from what he’s heard and seen about Xolani, he’s
okay with things staying
that way. He’s only here today because Xolani knowswhere
Nzalo is keeping MaMkhwanazi.
He knocks outside the door, a young girl opens with herarms
folded and eyebrows raised.
He doesn’t know her.
“Is babomncane home?” he asks.
“And who is babomncane?” She’s got an attitude.“Xolani,” he
says.
“Depends on who’s asking.”
Wow. “Msindisi,” he says.
“He’s not home,” she slams the door on his face.
Maybe she doesn’t like his name, that’s what itdepended on.
He pushes the door and walks in. He was just being
polite by asking.
The girl sees him letting himself in and screams likeshe’s
seeing a criminal.
The fuck! He looks nothing like someone who’d harm
anyone. He’s been told he looks cute and gentle his
whole life.
“I’m his nephew,” he says above her screams.No, she
continues.
Luckily Xolani appears, he seems to be panicking.“It’s
okay,” he holds her.
“Who is this brat?” Msindisi asks, this girl just annoyedhim.
“This is your cousin, not a brat,” Xolani says.
“Oh-hho. Can we talk privately?” He’s not interested in
the crying brat, he’s got more pressing matters to attendto.
“I will find you in the office,” Xolani says.
He stays behind comforting Onathi, she cries everyday.
Msindisi goes to his home office and waits.
“That’s Msindisi, he comes after Nzalo, then there’sPurity.
Her real name is Olwethu, I think you two aregoing to be
friends,” he says.
“I don’t want friends,” she’s calmed down.
“That’s fine,” he heaves a long sigh. “Keep the door close,
don’t open for anyone, call me if there’s someoneoutside
the door.”
It will take time for her to settle in, she still wants Winnie.
Unfortunately he can’t give her that because Nzalo is still
holding Winnie and MaMkhwanazi hostage, which isfoolish
at this point. This case should be taken to the police now,
Winnie confessed everything.

He walks in to Msindisi holding a cigarette. What the

hell?
“Usuyabhema wena?” He didn’t expect this.
His brother didn’t smoke, Nzalo doesn’t smoke, what is
wrong with this one.
“Sometimes, when I’m stressed,” Msindisi says.“In
my office don’t smoke,” he says.
Msindisi pays his instruction no attention. “You knowwhere
ncane is, Nzalo went to Hluhluwe to look for Musa.”
“So?” Xolani raises his eyebrow.“I
need to see ncane,” he says. “For
what?” -Xolani.
“She owes me answers and I don’t want to talk to her
while Nzalo is around,” he says.
“I don’t think it’s the right time, wait until your brothercomes
back.”
“No babomncane, I want to see her now. It’s between her
and I, Nzalo didn’t live with us. His boxers weren’t under
his bed,” he says.
Xolani sighs heavily, “What do you suspect?”
“I don’t know, that’s why I want to talk to her. I can’t waitfor
Nzalo,” he says.
“Okay, I do have a spare key, she’s in your grandparents’ old
house, the one in Sandfields.”
“Thank you babomncane,” he gets up and throws the
cigarette butt in the bin.
.
.
.

He’s hoping MaMkhwanazi will give him answers because

right now nothing makes sense. He’s confused,not angry.
Nale said his boxers were used for witchcraft,he wants to
know how true that is. He unlocks the rusty door and walks
in.
She’s sleeping in an old single bed that he can’t even
recognize. His father didn’t want to sell this house simply
because it held memories, but other than that there’s
nothing interesting here.
He stares at her in her sleep, he can’t bring himself to
accept everything that Nzalo has said about her. This
woman raised him, he’s never felt unloved.
He drags a chair and sits, before calling her and askingher to
wake up.
She blinks a couple of time before realizing who she is.“Boy,
when did you get here?” She’s happy to see him regardless
of the circumstances.
“Just a few minutes ago. How are you?” The chainaround her
ankles makes him uncomfortable.
Nzalo is cruel, how can he do this to their ncane? “I’m
not fine,” she says.
“What happened ncane?” He wants the truth, no matter
how bitter it is.
She asks him for water, there’s an old bucket with amug. She
sits up and drinks.
“To cut the long story short, Musa is my cousin, I was
scared to reveal that to the family because I knew it would
make you guys think I was behind your mother’smurder.”
“And the girl, Onathi?” he asks.
“She was a mistake, my family suggested that I give herto
Musa,” she says.
“Did you help Musa fake his own death?” he asks.“No,
I wasn’t involved,” she says.
“Did dad know that he was alive?”
“He didn’t,” she says.
“But you did and you took care of him.”
“I was taking care of my daughter,” she says.It
makes sense; he nods.
Then he takes something out of his pocket. His boxersthat
were tied into knots under her bed.
“Why did you do this?” he asks.
Her eyes bulge out. “Huh? What is that?”
“I found it under your bed. Why did you do it? Theseknots,
what are they for?”
“I don’t know this. Maybe Lizzy did it before going on her
leave,” she says.
“Aunt Lizzy doesn’t clean your bedroom,” he says.
“Maybe she did because I really don’t know what that is
for.”
“Nale thinks it’s weird, she says these things arewitchcraft.”
“Is it?” That girl has been nothing but trouble. Does shethink
Nzalo will marry her?
“Yeah,” Msindisi nods with a heavy sigh. “It made me
think because at some point you were telling me not to
wash my own underwear and put them in your basket for
you to wash.”
“But it was all your clothes, not just underwear,” shesays.
“Still, it’s not normal,” he says, disdained.
“I was just trying to be a good mother, I didn’t know Nalenhle
would link it to her family activities. You need to
be careful with people like that because indlela yaziwa
umhambi.”
“I don’t know ncane!” He’s feeling a bit dizzy.
He stands up and goes to the door. His feelings aremixed.
“Take me out of here Msindisi, we will sort this out athome,
please mfana wami,” she begs.
“I can’t, Nzalo will kill me.” He respects his brother,always
have and always will.
“Nzalo is confused, I guess it’s Nale feeding him thingslike
she’s trying with you.”
“Nale is a good girl,” he says, turning back to her.
“A good girl who tried ruining your father’s funeral, youknow
that girl can do anything to have money for alcohol.” She’s
making sense, at the same time
confusing him.
“If anything happens to me your brother will go to jail
and you will never see him again,” she says.
He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath.
Okay, he’s taking her home. Nzalo is making a mistake,he’s
letting emotions cloud his judgement. He’s losing Nale and he
doesn’t even realize it.
He can’t put her ankles off the chains so he picks her upand
goes to the car outside. Then he comes back and locks the
door.
She’s praying all the way to Xolani’s house whereMsindisi is
dropping off the key.
“Don’t tell him you’re with me,” she says.
Msindisi nods, he’s still confused but at the moment thisfeels
like the right thing to do.

Xolani opens the door, he took longer than he expected.“What

kept you?” he asks.
Msindisi shrugs, “Nothing.”
“Are you okay?” Xolani studies his puffy face.
“I don’t know babomncane. Do you think I’m a mad
person?”
“Of course not, what makes you say that?”
“Because it feels like I’m stupid, I’m not in charge of myown
thoughts,” he says.
“It’s a lot to deal with, I know,” Xolani sympathizes withhim.
“She denied practicing any sort of witchcraft and saidshe
was just taking care of her daughter, which benefited
Musa by mistake,” he says.
Xolani chuckles, “And you believed that?”“I
don’t know,” he says.
“Does she still kiss you in your mouth?”
“No, I’m grown.” This disgusts him, luckily MaMkhwanazi
stopped after he reached 21 and began taking friends’ advices
seriously.
“I just think you’re bewitched for real. The extra
affectionate gestures ruined your brain. MaMkhwanazi isnot
your mother. If she can abandon and sacrifice a childshe
carried for 9 months in exchange of wealth and marriage,
what makes you think she genuinely loves youand your
siblings?”
Msindisi shuts his eyes and releases a deep sigh. “Bye
babomncane.”
“Drive safely,” Xolani closes the door.
The car drives off, MaMkhwanazi sits comfortably. If
Xolani saw her he could’ve called Nzalo and ruined this. As
soon as she gets home she’s making important calls, Nzalo
will not get away with this.
She frowns, “Msindisi this is not the right road, you’re
heading north.”
Msindisi doesn’t respond, he presses his foot on the
accelerator.
“Boy? Boy boy?” No, he can’t change his mind.
“If you’re not taking me home take me back.” She knows
Nzalo is mad, but he’s held her hostage for very long and
didn’t harm her. She knows the devil called Nzalo, she can
deal with him. Msindisi is his soft boy, she’s never seen him
being evil.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 48
Tyres screech outside Xolani’s house, it’s Nzalo. He planned to
introduce Zola to his daughter later today.
Onathi is a difficult teenager but he understands because
she’s been through a lot for her age. Hopefullyher presence
won’t cause a drift in his relationship. His plans with Zola
still stand, after the cleansing ceremonyhe will be able to
send his delegate to negotiate lobola.
Nzalo looks like he woke up in the jungle.
“Where is she?"
Xolani frowns, “Who?”
“MaMkhwanazi,” he says.
“I’m confused. Why are you looking for her here, kanti
umbeke kuphi?”
“I’m not a fool, babomncane. You are the only person
that has the keys to the house. Where did she go? She
fuckin killed my mother.” He’s forcing his way in,
screaming.
“Hey, hey!” Xolani stops him from going further in and
disturbing Onathi.
“Tell me what’s going on? Acting like a madman won’thelp
you,” he says.
“You let her out,” Nzalo says.
“I haven’t set my foot there. Why would I let her out?”
He’s confused.
In all this madness he’s been nothing but supportive toNzalo.
“Then where is she? Ukuphi?” He’s not lowering hisvoice.
“Msindisi went to see her earlier and…”
“No, you’re not serious!” he walks back, his hands overhis
head.
“He was seeking answers,” -Xolani.
This is not what he expected from his uncle and
Msindisi.
“But you know he was on her side, why would you givehim
the keys? What if she comes and kills us now?”
“Ey kahle wena, go and ask Msindisi where he took her,”
Xolani.
“I swear babomncane, if I don't find them uzosibona
isfuba senja esinamazenze!” he angrily walks to the
door.
Xolani takes a deep breath to compose his temper.
There’s more than one brat in this family.
.
.
.

He can’t panic in front of Lwethu. Msindisi is not home,so he

had to put his anger aside and sit with her
watching a reality show. Lwethu is absorbed intostrangers’
family, cold drama, even picking sides.
“They’re ganging up on Kourtney,” she sits up straight,fiddling
with her fingers.
He’s just seeing rich, bored women with no touch ofreality.
“Can you believe this? OMG!” Lwethu looks at him.
Nzalo looks back at her. What happened? Is hesupposed to
be shocked too?
Finally, there’s someone driving in. It can only beMsindisi.
He stands up, “I’m coming back.”
“You will miss out,” Lwethu.

He walks out to Msindisi coming out of the car, his T- shirt

winkled like it just came out of the cow’s mouth. Hetakes
something out of the car, but hides it behind whenhe sees
Nzalo approaching.
“Where are you coming from?” Nzalo asks.
“I didn’t know I have to report to you.” His eyes are red,
there’s soil dried on his pants.
“I will ask you for the second time. Where are you
coming from?” Nzalo.
“Kwanhliziyo ngiyise,” he says.
This boy is full of shit. Nzalo unbuttons his shirt and rollsup
his sleeves. He knows how old he is from Msindisi,
for years the age gap has instilled some respect
between the two of them. But it looks like Msindisi has
recently forgotten who is older between them.
“Don’t touch me, Nzalokayise,” Msindisi cautions. Thenhe
walks away with one female shoe in his hand.
Nzalo’s grabellar lines fold. What the hell?!

The car is not locked, he opens the door, there’s a scarfon

the seat. MaMkhwanazi’s scarf, that shoe also belongs to
her. Something is not right here.
He calls Xolani, his palms sweating.
“Babomncane, what did Msindisi want from
MaMkhwanazi?”
Xolani sighs, “Answers. Please don’t ask me because he also
didn’t tell me anything. Just that he didn’t want toask in front
of you because you wouldn’t relate.”
“He just got home looking like a mess, carrying her oneshoe
with soil dry on his pants. That’s why I want to know what
happened,” he says.
“What do you mean? Msindisi came back a long time ago, he
looked clean and he headed home after dropping off the
keys.” Xolani sounds confused, just likehe is. He is too old to
lie.
“Didn’t he say how their conversation went?” he asks.
“She denied everything but I told him that she was just
deceiving him, then he left. Must I come over?” Now
Xolani is worried.
“No, Lwethu will know that something is wrong. I will keep
you updated.” He drops the call and looks insidethe car
again. Definitely MaMkhwanazi was here, the question is
where did Msindisi take her?

He walks back inside the house, Lwethu is still watchingher

thing. He passes to Msindisi’s room and finds him out for a
shower. There are clothes on the floor, Nzalo picks them up
for introspection but he can’t find any blood. This gives him
a huge relief, he wouldn’t be able to handle it if something
stained his brother’s white. He already disappointed his
mother by letting her death go in vain, the least he can do is
protect her children.
Msindisi comes out, he’s shocked to see Nzalo in his
bedroom. He was butt-naked, he grabbed something
from the wardrobe and hides his manhood.
Nzalo frowns. Does Msindisi think he’s gay? What wouldhe do
with another man’s potatoes, he wasn’t even looking at
them.
“What are you doing here?” Msindisi asks, looking pretty
annoyed and uncomfortable.
“I want us to talk,” he says.
“Now I’m grown enough to have a conversation with
you? I’m tired, I don’t want to talk.” Nzalo has been
treating him like a boy throughout this case, if that’s
what it may be called.
“I know you took her. Where is she? I’m not going to killher,
I just want to know so that I can make sure that we are
safe,” Nzalo says.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He dismissesand
puts his shorts on, getting ready for bed. Msindisi getting
in bed before eating? Impossible.
“Msindisi, I’m your brother. I know sometimes I’m a dictator
but I will always have your best interest at heart.Just tell me
what you guys talked about and where did you take her,”
Nzalo.
“I left her in town, she wanted to do shopping,” he says.
“I’m not a child. Did you do anything to her? I have to
know so that I can help.”
“I don’t need your help. Can I sleep? Please.”
Nzalo sighs, “Okay.”
This leaves him no choice, he has to call the car tracking
company.
.
.
.

It’s almost midnight, his uncle won’t stop complaining about

leaving his warm bed for the freezing cold. This isthe exact
spot that Msindisi was in an hour after leavingXolani’s house.
It’s the middle of nowhere, they’re now close to the bushes
searching around for a sign of MaMkhwanazi or whatever is it
that happened to her.
“There’s nothing here,” he says.
Nzalo is not convinced even though they’ve been herefor
more than two hours.
“Maybe he took her to his friends,” he adds.
Nzalo shakes his head, “No, I know he wouldn’t have
taken that risk. I blame myself for not letting him, now he
doesn’t trust me.”
“But this is useless, I’m tired. Let him handle this his own
way,” Xolani says.
“What if they had a disagreement and he killed her?
Msindisi uyigcokama, he wouldn’t be driving outdoors
with dirty pants and wrinkled T-shirt for fun,” Nzalo
insists.
“Msindisi can’t kill, he’s a very soft boy. Maybe he just
changed her location because he wants to play part in
fighting for his mother’s justice too. And he’s still seeking
answers about his underwear that was under the bed.”
“I hope so, I really do.” This is stressful.
Instead of going straight home, he’s going to pick Naleup and
they will spend the night together. It’s been a while since
they spent any quality time together.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
I don’t know what the time is, I’m woken up by someone
knocking on the door. I check my phone for time and notice
a bunch of missed calls from Nzalo. Is it him? It’salmost 1am,
I call him back, he answers and says he’s at the door.
Mameshane! I turn the lights on and look formy robe. He
better be coming here to tell me that someone is dead or
he’s been elected as the new president. It has to be some
shocking, breaking news.
I open the door, before I can greet he engulfs me in atight
hug. He’s cold, wearing a short-sleeve shirt.
“What’s going on?” I’m confused. “I
came to pick you up, I miss you.”He’s
got to be kidding me!
“At this time?” Maybe he’s drunk.
Can coffee intoxicate someone?
“You had the whole day, is it only now that you’remissing
me?”
He kisses my cheek, “I’m sorry, I know I disturbed your sleep. I
was busy during the day. It’s okay, I can crash inwith you and
go home in the morning.”
“Zola is home,” I say.
“But you don’t sleep together.”
Ay, I give up.
I let him in, I don’t know if he’s hungry or need a bath.
But I’m not that girl who will wake up at 1am to take careof a
man. I just fix the bed and get an extra blanket because he’s
cold.
I close the door and turn the light off. I’m sleepy, so ishe, we
just kiss and sleep.
…

I’m woken up by his hands all over me. I didn’t sleepwell

because he disturbed my sleep. I’m tired.
“What is the time?” I ask.
“It’s early, babe. Do you have condoms here?” “No,” I
don’t even know if I have them or not. “What must I
do? I miss you.” Now he misses me.
I don’t know where it comes from and why I must jumpto
it.
“I think we need to redefine our relationship Nzalo,” I
say.
“Meaning?” He’s still touching me.
“Are we real good boyfriend and girlfriend? I haven’t been
feeling us ever since we became those titles, wewere
much good as friends.”
He stops, “What?”
“I mean, you had my time when we were friends. I don’t
know if that was because you were still chasing, but I was
happy.”
“But you know the situation, Nalenhle. Don’t make it feellike
I just intentional avoid being with you.” Right off, he can’t
acknowledge shit.
“In life there will always be challenges, if you can’t teach
yourself how to balance life and relationship now, how do
you think it’s going to work in the future?”
“So in other words, I suck?” He puts the right words inmy
mouth.
“As a boyfriend, yes. But I do think you’re a nice
person,” I say.
“I’m going through a lot Nalenhle, you don’t have to dothis
now. Not when I need you the most in my life,” he says.
“You don’t act like we need each other, Nzalo.” How canhe
not see it?
We are in a relationship but we are going through
difficult stages of our lives without each other. What isthe
point of being in a relationship? Having sex?
“Maybe we should have just remained friends,” I say.
“What?” He sits up, wearing a frown on his face. “Are
you fuckin’ breaking up with me, Nale?”
“I’m having a conversation, something you cannot do
lately. You can disagree with me and put your points
forward.” I don’t see why he’s getting worked up.
“It’s not a conversation when you are faulting me andbreaking
me at the same time. If I’m wrong then it’s
definitely a mistake, I’m human, I’m open to learning and
becoming better. Why do you have to suggest a break- up if
this relationship means something to you?”
“Oh, gosh!” I’m talking to a rock here.
“First dissatisfaction and you want to sack it off?”
“Nzalo, you cannot fulfil any of your boyfriend
responsibilities? Friendship wise, I was much happier with
us.” I’m crystal clear, I’m sure he also sees how flatthis
relationship has turned out over the last month.
“Go on, have the floor!”
I roll my eyes. I can’ deal with the stubbornness.
“Our geyser is broken, I will warm water in a kettle,” Isay.
“I will take a bath at home, thanks.” He’s a big baby now,
sulking.
I didn’t break up with him, I brainstormed it out loud.
He takes his car keys and phone, then leaves. Menhave
egos bigger than their heads.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 49

Nobody saw Nzalo coming home in the early hours of

morning. Lwethu is getting ready to leave, her flight is
scheduled for 1:45pm. Msindisi is driving him to the airport.
He’s not himself, that’s why he wanted to ask Nale to come
with them so that Lwethu doesn’t focus onhim. Nale is a
chatterbox and the three of them get along too well.
He’s surprised when Nzalo makes his way in the kitchen,
looking like he hardly slept throughout the night.He doesn’t
greet, he grabs Coke from the fridge and sitsdown with a
glass. Msindisi isn’t bothered by it, he’s making breakfast for
himself and Lwethu.
“Include me,” Nzalo says.
“You’re asking or telling me?”
He frowns, “Hhayi-bo wena ntwana, what got into your
head? Do I have to beg you now like you’re Nalenhle and
her tantrums?”
Msindisi sighs and gets more eggs. Obviously this one isgoing
through relationship problems and taking his
frustrations out on everyone.
“I wanted to ask her if she’d be able to go with us to the
airport. Is she working today?” Msindisi says.
“I don’t know, she broke up with me,” Nzalo says.
Msindisi’s laugh slips out. “It was about time, she’s beencrying
for way too long.”
“Crying for what?” Nzalo is confused.So
his brother also knows about this?
“For how you neglected her when she needed you. Shelost
her mother and there was a galore of drama aroundher
death, and you only called her twice during that period.”
“That’s a lie. Did she say that?” He pushes the Coke away, he
just lost appetite. He knows that Nale lies forfun, but this is
not funny. “I called her many times, we
were talking on Whatsapp, I was constantly checking upon
her. I even wanted to go and see her and she said she wasn’t
allowed out of the yard. Why is she lying?”
“I’m just telling you what she feels, don’t shout at me.”
“I’m not shouting,” he says, raising his voice just a bit over
the usual tone. He takes out his phone and calls.Nale drops
his call.
“Can I use yours?” he asks.
Msindisi gives him.
He calls, this time Nale answers.
“Yiso leso scefe,” he says.
Nale sighs, “What do you want? You walked out on me not
so long ago.”
“I want to know why are you saying I didn’t support you
when you lost your mom and only called you twice?” he
asks.
“Am I lying?” Nale asks, unapologetic. “Okay,
we will take a lie-detector test.” “For what? I
don’t have time for stupidity.”
“Your lie is affecting me emotionally, I need to clear my
name. Say whatever you want to say about me but don’t
make it look like I didn’t care because I did. I told you I was
going to meet your mother when she came this side, I was
looking forward to it.”
“That’s not what you’re angry about. You’re angry that I
called you out and told you our relationship is not what we
thought it would be,” she says.
He takes a deep breath, Msindisi is staring at him.
“I have things to do Nzalo, other than stroking your
broken ego,” she ends the call.
Msindisi takes back his phone, stifling a laugh. Nzalo has
been treating him like shit lately, so he deserves
everything coming his way.
“I still want to know what you did last night, laughing
won’t help you,” Nzalo says.
He continues laughing silently while turning his eggs. Hefeels
better than yesterday. Yesterday he couldn’t hear himself
think, everything just seemed to happen out of his body.
.
.
.
ZOLA

Nale has been ranting all the way from work. Apparentlythey
broke up, which I think is a bit dramatic. She loves him,
breaking up with someone you still love so much can only
break your own heart. But I let her be, if I tell her my own
opinion I know she will think I’m taking a side.
Yesterday I was supposed to have dinner with Xolani and
meet his daughter but that didn’t happen. I know hemisses
me, that’s why I want to surprise him at his
office, he’s working until late. We haven’t spent muchtime
together either, ever since this MaMkhwanazi
drama unfolded. Nale and I advocated for justice, that’s why
I excuse himself if he’s too busy to spend time with me. This
is something I persuaded him to do. I know if I had told him
no, he wouldn’t have done it.

The angry Nale is the best Nale. All I have to do when we get
home is change my clothes and sit with my feetoff the floor.
She’s cleaning, cooking and shouting at every little thing. But
she’s never wiped the wall before,this is new.
My phone rings, it’s the culprit.
I answer, I don’t have any problem with him.
“Can we talk Zola?” He sounds stressed too.
“Yeah, we can,” I say, summoning my inner relationship
therapist spirit up.
I’m about to hear his side of the story.
“Your cousin broke my heart,” he says.
I look at Nale outside the window with a wet cloth, herlips
are moving as she mumbles to herself.
“What happened?” I ask.
“She called me a bad boyfriend and then said we mustbreak
up, I’m better as a friend. And I thought that was
just because I have been occupied. But she actually says I
didn’t support her when her mother passed, that’swhat
breaks my heart, and she said it to my brother. I have lost a
mother, that pain feels fresh at the moment, like I lost her
recently. I care about Nale, I try my best toshow that to her.”
“I feel like this is just a miscommunication,” I say.
“From her side because I have never said one thing but
meant the other. Not so long ago I was sick, I couldn’t eat
anything, I was nauseous. But I committed myself into
spending the night with her, I embarrassed myself
running to the bathroom and throwing up like a weakling.I
communicated with her, she told me she was okay andtold
me to do what I have to do to resolve my situation.” He’s
furious.
Now I’m comfused; I don’t know who’s wrong and who’sright.
“But it’s fine, if she feels like there’s someone out there who
is better than me, she can go. I just wanted to let you know
that I have always cared about her, I love her and all my
intentions were good.” Is he about to cry rightnow?
“Okay, I appreciate that.” I think he just doesn’t want bad
blood because I’m in his uncle’s life.
Nale walks back in. I don’t know if I should brief herabout
the call or let it be.
“Do you have airtime? I want to call my uncle,” she asks.
I’m surprised, there have been a sibling rivalry ever
since aunt died.
I give her my phone, she walks away with it.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I want to sort my life out and that means making things right
with my family first. I want to settle things out with my
uncle. I miss being his favorite niece, not that he hasany
other.
He answers thinking I’m Zola.
“It’s Nalenhle,” I say.
“Oh, how are you?”
“I’m good. Are you free to talk?”
“Yeah, I can talk,” he says.
“I just want to apologize for my behavior during the
funeral. I know I could’ve stood up for you and aunt, butI
was focused on my own pain. I don’t want this tension
between us, it makes things difficult for everyone at home.”
“I appreciate this Nale, I really do. I never meant to hurtyou
in any way, I thought I was protecting you and I
thought wrong,” he says.
“It was unnecessary, I’m a big girl, I don’t need you to
conceal the truth from me.” I know my mother would’ve
been sick from this, so I don’t want to hold back her spirit
from progressing to the after life.
“I get it, I apologize,” he says.
It’s great to hear a man who is not afraid to accept his wrongs
and apologize. My uncle needs to open a schoolfor the
Hadebes. I may have exaggerated here and
there, but Nzalo also knows that he’s been holding back.Now
he wants us to go for a lie-detector test, he has money to
waste.
“How are things at home?” I ask, I know his marriagehas
been through some turmoils.
“We are working on things slowly,” he says.
“Do you want my advice?” My own relationships just bite
dust and here I am, offering an advice to a man who’s been
married for over two decades.
“I appreciate that you want to give me advice, but no,”he
refuses.
I would’ve told him to pulls up his romance socks and start
getting his wife things like flowers, chocolates andrandom
cash.
“When are you going to visit home?” he asks.
“Every second weekend, I no longer have a boyfriend,he
broke up with me.”
I hear a stifled chuckle. “I’m sorry, why did he break upwith
you?”
“Because he didn’t like hearing the truth. But I’m fine, I
don’t care. I was Nalenhle before him, I won’t be Nalembi
just because he’s gone. No, I’m still the Nalenhle I was
before him.” I’m not venting, it doesn’t even bother me
that much.
“It’s his loss, you were too beautiful for him to handle.”See
why I love this man so much.
He always knows what I want to hear. Nzalo can’t handle a
beautiful girl like me who knows what she wants and won’t
accept less than what she deserves.
.
.
.

On his way back home, Msindisi is pulled to the side bytwo

police officers in work uniform. He’s a law abiding citizen,
whatever the officers wants he’s ready to give it.But after
confirming his identity one puts him in hand cuffs and
shoves him in a patrol car. The other one
takes his car keys. He starts cursing out of frustration.
“So you’re not even going to say what I did?” He’sconfused.
“You have the right to remain silent, young man.”
What the fuck is happening? He just dropped his sisterat
the airport. He has no illegal firearm or drugs, he didn’t run
over anyone or pass the speed limit.
They are not taking him to the police station. They put him
in some foreigner shop backroom. This shit is illegal. If he did
something wrong why can’t they say thecharges and take his
statement the right way.
“The reason you’re here and not in a cell is because Iknow
your brother. So mfana don’t waste my time.
Where is Phindile Mkhwanazi?”
He shuts his eyes and releases a deep sigh. Is this howlow
Nzalo can go? Now it makes sense, he sent these
two. His own brother.
“I left her at the mall,” he says.
“You never went to the mall yesterday. It’s either you speak
here or I take you to the station and you will havecriminal
charges,” says the tallest officer.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he leans back,
folding his arms.
“So you want to go to prison? Do you know what they do to
pretty boys there?”
“What?” he raises his eyebrow.
“A lot of things you wouldn’t want on your pretty face and
maybe your back.”
“Is it a lot of ghetto people there?” He’s weighing hisoptions,
trying to check if he’d survive.
“It’s jail,” the officer says, holding back his laugh. “It’s ahome
of law breakers, rapists and murderers.”
“I want to speak to my brother,” he says, his phone is in the
car. The officer gives him his own, he knows Nzalo’s number
by head.
They give him space.
Nzalo picks up, “Hello.”
“You sent police to me?” He’s in disbelief, Nzalo has been
kidnapping people, including a teenage girl, andnow he
wants to act righteous.
“Your actions called the police on you. And if you don’t speak
ntwana, I’m afraid you will be going to jail,” Nzalosays.
“You’ve done worse, what the fuck?!”“I
haven’t killed anyone,” Nzalo says.
“Because nobody did anything to you. You moved out,left
us with a woman we hardly knew. Your underweardon’t
have knots of muthi, you haven’t been through what I’ve
been through with girls. Your manhood is perfect, you
have had perfect lasting relationships.”
Nzalo is silent for a minute. “Can we talk when you get
home?”
“No, I’m going to jail,” his voice trembles.
“You’re not going to jail, give Mhlengikhaya the phone,"Nzalo
says.
“I don’t know who that is,” he says before it clicks that Nzalo
is referring to the one that lent him the phone. Hesignals for
him to come.
Nzalo talks to him for a few minutes. Then he tells Msindisi
to get up, the other one returns back his car keys. This was
all Nzalo’s plan, he contacted his friendsto come and scare
him. That's how low he’d go, even if it means traumatizing
his young brother to get what he wants.
His hands are shaking, driving will be a hustle.
Everything that happened yesterday comes flashing back.
Everything he’s been through, all his relationshipsthat ended
in embarrassment, it was all her doing. The woman he blindy
replaced his own mother with, calling her ncane.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 50
ZOLA

I’m driving from work to the casino. He told me he’s

there with Onathi until late. Against her will, Nale had totake a
taxi home. Xolani always spoils me, I’m one of
those who’ve always been against spending money onmen,
but he deserves everything good under the sun.
So yeah, I grab a perfume and put it in a gift bag. Then Ifold
notes to surprise him with money for petrol. He needs
something that’s going to make him smile, it’s been some
heavy weeks for him.

The casino is packed, getting a parking spot is a bit of a

hustle. I get easily frustrated but I endure until I find a
space. I haven’t met Onathi yet, our dinner that was
planned got cancelled on last minute. I’m looking
forward to seeing her and how her relationship is withher
father. I know having a daughter was one of his dreams.
I know my way around, a few staff members know me. Iget
little waves and smiles as I walk past.
The door is slightly open, I can hear him talking to someone in
his deep, low voice. I don’t want to disturb,just in case he’s
having a serious meeting, so I knock.
There’s no response at first, I knock again.
The door widely opens and the person I see is someoneI
wouldn’t have expected to find here. I push her to the side,
making my way in. Xolani gets off his chair and stands up.

There are two cups of coffee on his desk and femaleshoes on

the floor.
“Nokuzola, why didn’t you tell me you’re coming?”“So
that you can get rid of her before I arrive?”
Sis grabs her shoes on the floor and puts them on.
They’ve been drinking coffee with their shoes off. Godknows
what else was off!
He looks at her, “Please give us some privacy.”
“Call me,” she says, gathering her things and smiling herway
to the door.
I take a deep breath. Robyn can’t ruffle my feathers likethis.
She can’t have so much control over me.
“I was briefing her about the outcome of the case,” he
says.
Surely I look like a fool if he thinks I’m going to believethat.
“You didn’t mention it to me. So you briefing her made her
take off her shoes?” Robyn pisses me off, he knowsit. He
said they’re done, he’s not going to be around heranymore.
“She was feeling hot,” he says.
“But drinking coffee at the same time?”
He sighs deeply, “I apologize, I should have told you thatshe’s
here.”
He’s not apologetic, he just wants me to shut up. All thistime
I’ve been thinking she’s no longer a problem because her job
is done, little did I know about little
coffee meetings.
“You know how I feel about you and her. You just don’tcare,
you want me to be insecure and always be this person who
looks angry and stupid.” Tears are burningmy eyes. What’s
so hard about cutting ties with her?
His mouth can’t open now but when he was with Robynhe
was talking.
I throw the stupid gift bag on his desk, the perfume fallsbut
it doesn’t break. I’m not going to sit here and drink Robyn’s
coffee remains; I’m leaving.
.
.
.

I have been holding back my tears so that I can get home

safely. Once I’m safely parked I release them andlet them
flood my cheek. He doesn’t want to let go of her, obviously
there’s something that he gets from that he doesn’t get
anywhere else. What is the use of him sending his people to
my dad month end if he can’t let go of one person I dislike
the most? I can’t be with someone who challenges my trust
and want my insecurities to always be on steroids.

I walk in to Nale cuddled up on the couch, she’s been

the saddest person alive ever since her relatives ended.
When she sees me walking in with a puffy face she sits up.
“What happened? Were you in a car accident?”“No, I
found Xolani with Robyn,” I say.
“You caught them red-handed?” She’s putting hersleepers on
and getting off the couch.
“We are not going anywhere,” I say.
“No, he can’t get away with it. We need to raid that casino.
There’s a bar there, right? We will loot, so thathe will loose
both you and his stock.” This is what shewants; alcohol for
herself.
I’m not a crazy woman, I’m not destroying anything that
makes him money. I don’t remember us going to loot
Nzalo’s trucks and packaging warehouse.
“We are not doing that,” I say.
She sighs and sits down. “Were they at least usingcondom?”
“No, they were drinking coffee together with the doorslightly
open. She had her shoes off, imagine!”
She frowns, “That’s it?”
“What do you mean that’s it? He knows how I feel aboutthat
woman, he promised me that he won’t bring her around
anymore,” I say.
“You’re a fuckin’ weakling, my niece. Where did you getit
from? Because not from us, the Thabethes. You’re theboss,
you should’ve walked in like one and ordered her off the
chair, then kissed your future husband in front ofher and
drank her coffee while she’s watching you.”
All these bright advices, why can’t she apply them in herown
life?
“I can’t believe you’re here crying because of a bitch. I’mso
mad at you.” She gets up and puts her shoes on again. “We
are going back there.”
“Nale, I’m not playing games.” I don’t have the energyfor
nonsense.
“I’m your aunt and I’m telling you we are going back
there.” She runs to her room.
I don’t know where I pressed but her madness button is
pushed up right now.
She comes back and drags me to the car. I don’t know ifshe
realizes that she’s only my aunt biologically speaking, not
factually. She’s a cousin and she’s younger than me.
But I let her be, she’s using this situation to releasestress
from her own failed relationship.
.
.
.

I’m back at the casino, now with a mad cousin/aunt by my

side. She gives me a generous amount of lotion to put on my
puffy face before we get out of the car. I neverheard of her
modeling agency but yeah, she’s teaching me how to walk
like Miss Universe.
“I will wait for you in that burger shop, remember to act like
his boss,” she pats my shoulders as we part ways. I’m
heading back to Xolani’s office, assigned a new roleto play.

He’s looking at a pile of documents. I make my way in

without knocking, he raises his face up and frowns. I pullthe
chair that Robyn was sitting her old ass on, I recline it and sit,
then lift my feet to the desk. I don’t speak, I stare at him.
“Ummmm, hello.” He looks confused.
I left here on the verge of tears, now I’m back looking like
a mean grocery store manager.
“Would you like some coffee?” he asks.
Nale didn’t teach me what I should say. I
keep quiet and continue staring at him.
“I’m glad you came back. Would you like to take your shoes
off, maybe?” It’s his pet peeve, even putting feeton the
couch, he doesn’t like feet anywhere.
“No,” I refuse to take them down.
He nods. “Can we talk about what happened earlier?”“I
thought we talked.” I get up and go to the mini bar
fridge.
I take a can of Castle Lager. I have never drank this
before. I open it, he’s staring at me. I think this is the onethat
burns people’s lips, WTF?
“That’s beer. I can order something light for you,” hesays.
I force down the second sip because who is he to tell mewhat
I need to drink?
His phone rings. I’m sure it’s Robyn.He
glances at me before answering.
“Yes…what’s her name…no, it’s fine I will settle the bill,”the
call drops, he puts the phone away.
“I didn’t know you came with Nale,” he says.
“What bill are you settling?” I ask.
“They were asking if I really said she must eat, I will payfor
her,” he says.
I take a gulp this time. Nale had her own agenda cominghere.
I’m very disappointed in her.
“I was going to come and see you after wrapping things up
here,” he says.
“For what?” I ask.
“To apologize. I understand why you’re mad. I didn’t mean
to disrespect you in any way, she’s someone I’ve worked
with on many projects, I couldn’t have chased her out like
we are enemies. But I could’ve handled it differently, it just
didn’t occur in my mind on time. You look at her like
someone that had something with me in the past and I
purely look at her as someone I just happened to work with
because it was never that deep.”
“Right? So I’m being a dramatic, insecure bitch?” I ask.
“I will never call you a bitch or undermine how you feel. Idon’t
know how but clearly there’s a trust issue in our relationship,
I’m willing to build that for you because at some point you will
have to trust me enough to be comfortable with me having a
chat with a female.”
“Don’t reduce it to a “chat with a female”. It’s Robyn, your ex
that calls you any time of the day and takes tripswith you.”
I’m not going to be gaslighted by him as if we didn’t have a
conversation before and he promised me something
different.
“Do you doubt that I love you?” he asks.
Sigh!
“No, I don’t,” I say.
“Then what do you want, Nokuzola?”
“Honesty, Xolani!” It’s not that hard to understand. “You
move funnily, you say one thing and do the other. That’snot
what honesty looks like. If there was someone I’m in contact
with from my past that you weren’t comfortable with I
would’ve cut ties with that person. But not you, youenjoy
feeling like there are two women fighting for you.
Every now and again you have to push that button, because
other than the Robyn situation what else makes me sweat?
Nothing. I’m not a crazy bitch who wears skimpy clothes and
shows her body to the world. I’m nothing like Robyn or
MaMkhwanazi, I don’t do crazythings. Are you bored?”
“No. Please stop putting things like that in your mind,” he
says.
“But the reason you found me interesting in the first place is
because I was shouting at you, looking like a crazy woman.
That’s what attracted you to me. Right orwrong?”
“Nokuzola!” He gets off his chair and comes around thedesk.
“Am I right or wrong Xolani?” I push him away.He
grabs me again and holds me tighter.
“I don’t want to see you angry.”
“Yes, you do.” I don’t want him to hold me but he haspower
over me.
My back is against the wall, this turns him on, doesn’t?
“Yobe MaThabethe,” he says.
“Why?” I ask.
“I made a mistake, it won’t happen again. There’s no business
between us, I will delete her contacts, I just don’t want it to
look like her and I are fighting, she knowsa lot about me.”
“You make me angry Xolani and I hate it.” Nale would be
disappointed seeing tears in my eyes, this is now how Miss
Universe acts like.
“I’m sorry makoti.” He lifts my chin up and kisses mylips.
I kiss him back, his hand drops down to my waist.“Let’s lock
the door,” he says, smiling.
“No, it’s packed back there, I don’t want to take risks.”
“Okay, should I expect you tonight? I miss you, ever
since Onathi came home you haven’t been around.”
“Do you want me to come?” I ask.
“I’d do anything for you to come,” he says.
“Okay, I will come,” I say.
He kisses my lips again and then releases me.
“I don’t know if you forgot your money in the gift bag,” he
says, taking it out of his wallet.
“No, it wasn’t a mistake, it’s for petrol,” I say.His
brows furrow. “What petrol?”
“I’m blessing you. Do you like the perfume I got you?”
“Come here,” he opens his arms.
I’m a proud blesser, he’s happy.
“Thank you,” he says.
He didn’t deserve it, at least not today. But I have a pureheart.
“You’re welcome,” I say.
He nods and looks away.
Wait a minute!
“Xolani?”
He squeezes the corners of his eyes with his fingers
before looking at me again.
“It’s just R1000 and cheap perfume.” I can’t believe he’s
emotional whereas he’s given me way more than this.
The money he gives me every month exceeds my
salary.
“I appreciate you, more than you know,” he says.I
hug him. Oh, my little baby.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 51
Without Lwethu the house is emptier. Regardless of howhe
feels about her, MaMkhwanazi’s absence is massively felt.
This doesn’t feel like a home anymore.
Maybe it never was a home, just a house their father bought
to erase their mother’s memory. For now it’s notclear what
happened to MaMkhwanazi but he has no hope of her being
alive. The possibility of it being Msindisi’s hands drive him
crazy.
He’s walking around the balcony, cooling down his head.
Msindisi pulls up, finally arriving home. Msindisi is a middle
child who was raised as a last born.
MaMkhwanazi always had the softest spot for him, they got
along very well. He’s a softie, what Nzalo did today will make
him mad the whole week. Mhlengikhaya didn’ttouch him,
Nzalo asked him not to, he only wanted him
to be scared off a little bit. But he won’t care, he willspeak
about his mental health.
“Hey,” Nzalo says, trying to read his face.
He doesn’t answer, they both walk in. Nzalo grabs a litreof
cold drink and two glasses, then follows him. He wanted them
to talk in person, whatever he did to MaMkhwanazi they will
work it out as brothers.
“I apologize about…”
“Trying to get me arrested? No, you don’t. You got yourway,
now you’re happy.”
Nzalo sighs and pours cold drink for both of them.
“I’m not happy, it’s been a stressful week for me. I’m
mostly worried about you. How are you feeling?” he
says.
“I’m not fine,” Msindisi.
“What is bothering you? Is it something that happened
when you went to see her?”
“No,” he says, taking a deep sigh.
He can’t drink this, he can’t stomach anything.
“Did it happen in the past?” Nzalo asks.
No response. He’s staring into space, biting his lip.
As impatient as he is, Nzalo waits. He doesn’t repeat
question, he will wait until he’s ready to talk.
“Let me get you something stronger,” he says.
Msindisi shakes his head, “No, I’m fine.” Nzalo
sits back down.
“Ncane did something to me.”
Nzalo gathers his brows, “What did she do?”
“Remember how she used to take care of everything in my
bathroom. Even my dirty underwear, she’d wash
them. I thought it was love, but that was weird. This onetime
when I brought Zama here, she told me to pack the clothes I
had worn and the bedsheets, offering to wash
them. I never had a normal relationship after that.”
“I don’t remember Zama. But what makes you think
something weird happened? Wasn’t she returning allyour
stuff clean?” Nzalo asks.
“I just think she did something. It makes sense after I
found my underwear with knots of muthi. It makes sensewhy
my relationships never work,” he says.
“You’re a mama’s boy, that’s why,” -Nzalo.
“That’s not it,” he says, casting his eyes on the floor.
Nzalo’s eyes follow his face, confusion dwelling in hiseyes.
“That’s not it?”
“I don’t have a sex life,” he says.
Now Nzalo is more confused. At 25 he doesn’t have asex life?
“You’re a none-bisexual?”
“I don’t think a term like that exists, maybe asexual. But I’m
not that, I’m attracted to girls, I just can’t make them happy,
sexually.”
Oh, damn! He’s very slow.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Is it, ummm, does the jet land too
early?” This is uncomfortable, there’s a very wide age gap
between them, they never shared such private stuff.
“It doesn’t take off,” Msindisi says.
His eyes widen in shock. “What do you mean? Hadebeis not
active?”
“He is but not when I need him to. I only had one good
relationship and that was with Zama, I was barely 18,
that was when I submitted my dirty bedsheets to ncane.
Others have been a real struggle,” Msindisi reveals.
“Wait ntwana, what exactly is the problem?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs.
This is not what Nzalo expected. Not sexual problems.
This is too heavy, he doesn’t even know where he’d startif he
was to advise.
.
.
.
ZOLA

I’m meeting Onathi for the first time, we missed each other at
the casino earlier when I went to see her father.But a teenage
girl to me is a baby. I’m not stressed, as long as her mother is
not around. I don’t want to deal
with any babymama drama, Robyn’s on and off drama is
enough.
Xolani opens the door for me and pulls me to his chest,
embracing me tightly. It’s cold, we quickly get in. I see he’s
already set for dinner.
Oh, here she is.
She looks grown than I thought. She looks like a 20 yearold, I
didn’t think she’d be in make-up and Brazilian weave.
“Hello, I’m Nokuzola,” I say.
“Hi,” she says without lifting her face. “I’m
happy to meet you,” I’m being nice.
I believe I’m going to be a cool stepmom.
When she lifts her face, she’s looking at her dad. “Xolanican I
have my phone?”
“But we talked about phone at a dinner table,” he says.
I need to try this with my dad, just call him Skhundla or
Vincent when talking to him.
“She has her phone,” she points at me.I
just arrived, nkosi yami!
“I’m not his child,” I say jokingly.
“Who said you are?” She’s a real diva.
I thought I’d like her, but it looks like I was wrong.“Can
we all just calm down?”
I though he’d address his daughter’s attitude.
He looks at her, “This is my partner, I told you I’m in the
process of getting married.”
“Yeah, but you said she’s relatable,” she says.
He’s dumbstruck. Why didn’t I prepare for something likethis?
He’s not an alpha-dad, she probably gets her way with
everything here.
“I’m relatable, we just haven’t sat down and gotten to know
each other,” I insert myself since I’m the subject ofdiscussion
anyway.
“I don’t think you look anything like my mom,” she says.
I laugh, I just crack up. Do I know her mom to look likeher?
It looks like I’m going to have a rough start with this diva.
“You will get to know each other, we are family and we are in
each other’s lives forever. All three of us.” He looks at me,
“Thank you for understanding me the way you do. I know
you will adapt to this as it’s new to you asmuch as it’s new to
Onathi.”
“I will, thank you.” Phewww, can we eat now?
Onathi is mad about the phone. You can tell this is
MaMkhwanazi’s seed, hopefully the mean spirit will goaway
as she continues living under this roof.
Dinner is rather cold, she leaves the table as soon as we are
all done eating. She cuddles herself up on the couch like a
heartbroken Nale and watches TV.
“Did she cancel the semester?” I ask Xolani.
“It was a better option, she’s not in a good mental space.The
sudden change of environment and the manner in which she
found out the truth about her identity. It wouldn’t have
worked at all. She’s getting therapy, hopefully she will forget
about Winnie and her thug soon.” He talks about her as if
he’s talking about a smallbaby.
“She’s feisty, I hope therapy helps,” I say.
I know if her attitude doesn’t change there’s only somuch
that I can take.
“It will,” he says.
We clear the dining room and leave her watching TV, going
to our room. I have missed him so much, I’m sure I have a
spider web now between my legs. I love taking a shower with
him. His hands wash me better. We return
to the bedroom butt-naked, he throws all the extra
pillows to the floor and pulls me to lie on my back.
He kisses me from my neck down to my navel.
“We can use a condom now, you have the girl youwanted,” I
say.
He stops, “What?”
“I said we can use condom.”
“I heard that. But you said something else.”
“I said you already have a daughter. Wasn’t that yourdream?”
“It still is,” he says with a deep sigh.
He rolls to the side and lies on his back.Did
I just turn him off?
“Nothing is ever going to come between you and I, and what
we have planned together. I thought being a fatherwas fun. I
thought it was all about having someone wholooks up to you,
need you for protection and calls you dad.”
“Is it hard?” I ask.
“It’s hard because at the moment it feels like I’m
fathering someone’s child. Don’t get me wrong, I will protect
that girl, I don’t care what she gives me back. I’mgoing to
make sure she doesn’t go back to Winnie againand
MaMkhwanazi never get to mess with her life again.But I
don’t know if we have a connection that we should have.”
“It’s going to take time, you missed many years of her life,
you’re not just going to click. You are a good man and in
my eyes you’re already killing it,” I say.
He chuckles, “Obviously, you love your man, you will say
anything to lift his spirit.”
I’m actually not kidding, after seeing how much of a divashe
is, I’m truly proud of him.
His phone rings. His brows are gathered as he answers.It
sounds like Nzalo is having an urgent situation. I was about to
get knacked, this is embarrassing.
“Yeses!” he sits up.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Nzalo says there’s a problem, they need my help.”Phewww!
This is what I signed up for, isn’t?
I wanted him to have a healthy relationship with his
brother’s children. Finally they call him when they need
help. I advocated for this, so I better close my legs and
watch him go.
“When I come back I better find you still naked,” he
says.
I doubt I will be. “Call me when you get there.”
I hop it’s nothing that involves kidnapping people.
.
.
.
Xolani just arrived, he thought he’d walk in to a bloody
situation. But he finds Nzalo having a cup of coffee and
Msindisi sitting like his world just crashed.
“Is everything okay?” This is the first time he’s ever been
needed by his nephews. First time they’ve ever considered
him someone in the family; an uncle they can call in a time of
need.
Nzalo signally checks with Msindisi first, then he clears his
throat. “Babomncane, Msindisi’s jet doesn’t take off.”
Okay, when did Msindisi buy a jet?
“Have you two been smoking socks?” he asks.
Do these boys know what kind of ripe, fat fruit he left at
home to come here?
“When he’s with a girl, his jet doesn’t take off,” Nzaloclarifies.
“Okay, so what am I here for?” He’s confused.
"Babomncane, I’m talking about the jet between his
legs." Now thet make sense.
But what should he do? Start romancing Msindisi?
Shouldn’t this be taken to his girlfriend, whoever she is?
"Teach your girlfriend how to operate your jet, I can't doit
for her," he says.
Nzalo sighs. His uncle doesn't understand.
“It all began after MaMkhwanazi took his dirty underwearand
bedsheets, before that his jet took off and landed
with no hustle."
“What?” Xolani.
He needs to sit down for this.
Msindisi’s relationship with MaMkhwanazi was alwaystoo
close for his comfort.
“I’m bewitched, she didn’t want me to have a girlfriend,”
Msindisi says hopelessly.
“I don’t understand why she did that,” Nzalo.
Now they’re talking alone while he doesn’t even haveenough
clarity.
“Msindisi what happens if you’re with a girl?” he asks.
Msindisi’s jaws clench, he’s angry and embarrassed atthe
same time.
“Nothing,” he says.
“You don’t feel anything or you don’t get an erection?”
“Number two,” he says.
“So how do you…” How can he say this?He
looks at Nzalo.
Nzalo clears his throat, “I think babomncane wants to
know how you get inside a girl?”
“I push with my fingers,” he says.
“How? So basically you can’t have umdlalo
wasekamereni?”
“Yeah,” he nods.
“With every single girl?”
“Yeah,” he says.
“And if you’re alone and having warm feelings. Do youget
an erection?”
“Yeah,” he says.
Xolani nods, at least Hadebe is working, they just haveto
untie those knots and get him cleaned.
“You will be fine. If you talked earlier you wouldn’t have
suffered for so long.”
Nzalo sighs with relief. He still has questions about the
finger pushing technique though. But there’s a bigger and
more important question.
“What did you do to MaMkhwanazi?”
Silence…
They’re staring at him.
“I didn’t know I was killing her, I wasn’t myself.” He’shimself
now but there’s no remorse in his eyes.
“How did you kill her?” Xolani asks. Nzalo
is sweating a storm across them.“I
strangled her, Ma said I must do it.”
“Which Ma?"
"My mother."
Thobile died years ago.
Something is not right with Msindisi’s head...and his jet.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 52

It’s late, Zola is probably already asleep. Nzalo walks him out
after Msindisi retired to bed. They expect him toplay a role
he’s always fought for. He has to come up with a solution,
he’s the only elder around.
“I don’t think he knows what he did,” he says. Nzalo
sighs, “Yeah, I think he’s still processing it.”
“No, I mean I don’t believe that he killed her,” he says.
“Then how did he end up in the Van Rova side and didn’t
move for hours, and came back with soiled pantsand one of
her shoes?”
“I don’t know, all I’m saying is that Phindile is not dead.
Maybe he thinks he killed her but I doubt Msindisi can
tell when a person is dead. I think they fought and he left
thinking she’s dead.”
“Then where is she? We found nothing in that place,”Nzalo
asks, this freaks him out a bit.
“That’s where my concern is. I feel like we need to
tighten up our security, both Musa and her are out
there,” Xolani says. “Where is Winnie?”
“She’s in Durban, don’t worry about her,” Nzalo says. “Well,
we need her, we have to get the police involved.”
“I have also committed crimes, we didn’t investigate this
kindly, remember?”
“I know, but nobody died or got injured, we were justtrying
to get the truth. The bigger case here is your mother’s death
and Phindile’s family involvement,” Xolani says.
Nzalo sighs. Just when he thought they have a
breakthrough.
“Nokuzola is moving in with me until this is resolved,”
Xolani says.
He’s exaggerating this a bit. Does it have to go that far?“You
think if she’s alive she’d go for Zola?” Nzalo asks.
“We are dealing with a pyscho, Nokuzola is somethinganyone
who wants to hurt me would go for, I’m not
taking risks,” he says.
“Lwethu is in Joburg with friends, from there she’s goingback
to Mpumalanga.” Nzalo is now worried about his sister’s
safety. He can tighten security for himself and Msindisi, then
extends help to Nale. But Lwethu is far away from home and
MaMkhwanazi knows very well where she is.
“Tomorrow morning we are going to the police station
with everything that we have. If this gets to the media she
will be more worried about herself than revenge,” Xolani
says.
“Okay, let me go and talk to Msindisi before he sleeps,”
Nzalo.
Xolani turns and makes his way to his car.Nzalo
stops, “Babomncane?”
Xolani turns around.
“Thank you for coming,” he says.
“We are family, Nzalo.” There’s been a lot of progresswith
Nzalo; their relationship has improved a lot.
Hopefully things will never go back to where they were.He
wants Onathi to have a relationship with them.
.
.
.

Zola is fast asleep when he gets home. He’d like to continue

where they left off but she looks too innocent when she’s
sleeping, he doesn’t want to disturb her. Hequietly goes to
the bathroom after undressing. His phone rings as he rinses
his hands. It’s by the grace ofGod that this call is coming
when Zola is asleep.
He answers, “What time is this Robyn?”
“Why? Are you with madam?” Robyn asks, slightly
mocking his frustration.
“What is it?” he asks impatiently.
“I was thinking, how come you and I never went to
Zanzibar?” She’s bored, so bad that she has to take itout on
him.
“It’s late for this,” he says.
“But we are awake, do you want me to send you pictures?
It’s a beautiful place, we can go there and getsome work
done peacefully. You can even bring madamalong, tell her
I’m harmless,” she laughs.
“No, thank you. I’m dealing with important family matters,
I’m not thinking about having a vacation. But you can go and
enjoy yourself. And if possible Robyn, please stop calling me
in the weirdest hours of the night.I like you, you know that,
but I still expect you not to cross boundaries.”
“Just because she’s insecure? There’s nothing betweenus, I
respect your relationship. What happened in Hluhluwe will
never happen again.”
He takes a deep breath, “I appreciate that. Next time callyour
friends to discuss vacations, not me.”
“Mmmm, okay,” she says. “Good
night,” he drops the call.
This is going to be a problem. He knows Robyn, they both
have no intentions for each other but she likes achallenge.
And right now she knows that she’s Zola’sworst
nightmare. Robyn knows his office number, shehas
contacts of everyone who works closely with him.There
will be no need for her to directly contact him about
work. He’s doing this to protect his relationship,
they’ve fought too many times about Robyn. It’s time he
blocks Robyn. There are no hard feelings, life just
progressed, now there’s no room for games.
He walks back to the bedroom, Zola’s eyes are open.His
heart starts beating fast.
“Makoti,” he kisses her cheek, trying to read her face.
“When did you come back?” she asks.
“Just a few minutes ago,” he says.
“Mmmmm,” she’s looking at him strangely.
“I had a phone call from Nzalo, I didn’t want to wake youup.”
“Oh, what’s happening with him?” she asks.
“It’s Msindisi but it’s nothing we can’t handle as a family.I
was going to discuss this with you in the morning but since
you’re awake we must as well talk about you moving in with
me.”
Her brows furrow, the timing confuses her. “Why?”“I
think Phindile is…”
“MaMkhwanazi, continue,” she says. It irritates her whenhe’s
addressing MaMkhwanazi like they’re close friends from high
school.
“Yeah MaMkhwanazi, I think she’s alive. But Msindisi
thinks otherwise, she’s convincing that he killed her, but
Nzalo and I went there and found nothing. That woman is
too clever, I’m sure she pretended like she’s dead for him to
leave,” he says.
“You think she’s going to come after you?” This scares her.
MaMkhwanazi is dangerous, she got away with
Thobile’s murder and got her cousin out of prison.
“Definitely. But we are going to inform the police and
have media broadcasting the news everywhere,” hesays.
“Jesus Christ!”
He gets under the covers and wraps his arm around her.“I
know it might be too much but you have to be escorted to
and from work.”
“No Xolani, you’re being dramatic now.” She doesn’twant to
be a center of attention.
“It’s better to be safe than sorry,” he says.
“What about Nale?”
“Nzalo will take care of her.”
“They broke up, she won’t allow him to play savior.”“If
she values her life she will listen to him.”
She sighs heavily. They invited this drama into theirlives.
.
.
.

It’s midnight, they’re packing everything that belongs to

them and their father. Leaving only what MaMkhwanazi
owns. They can’t leave their father’s memoirs behind.
After a long conversation Msindisi finally agreed to return
back to their mother’s house. Two drivers were woken up
from their sleep. They’re moving out. Now that
they’re deeply thinking about it, they should have never
moved in, they betrayed their late mother.

It takes two trips for everything to be transported back to

their mother’s house. They pile everything in the garage and
walk in to what they haven’t called a home in almost a
decade.
It’s easy for Nzalo, Nale brought him back here, he
readjusted. Msindisi has never spent a night here. Hesits
on the couch looking lost.
Nzalo makes his way to the kitchen, he’s trying to avoid
coffee because it’s late, he makes a cup of tea instead.
Having a church-going stepmother introduced him to hot
beverages. Only if he knew the things she put in his
coffee! That jug still looks fresh in his mind.

He walks back with a cup of tea, Msindisi is staring intoa

wall looking lost.
“Babomncane is protecting Zola, he thinks they mightcome for
her to get through him. I’m scared for my situation,” he says.
Msindisi takes a deep breath and asks, “You didn’t sort itout?”
“No, we still have to take a lie detector test. But I will talkto
her before going to the police station, whether we are
together or not, I’m responsible for her safety until this
situation is resolved.”
“But she wasn’t breathing or moving, I dragged her inside the
bush and left her covered with a pile of leaves. Unless she’s
Jesus Christ, I don’t see how she would have been able to
wake up again.” He rememberseverything clearly.
MaMkhwanazi was dead. They had an argument in the car,
he wanted her to confess. As
their voices rose up, his mind started hearing extra voice- his
mother’s voice. He could hear her telling him not to let her
go, that’s when he stopped the car and dragged her out.
They fought, she tried shielding herself but he was possessed.
His hands grabbed her neck anddidn’t let go until her body
stopped moving and a form came out of her mouth.
“She’s very cunning, until her body is found she’s notdead and
we have to watch our backs,” Nzalo says.
“I hate myself,” Msindisi says.
Nzalo looks at her, “You hate yourself or her?”
“I hate myself for being so stupid. I ignored all the redflags.
My own mother never kissed me like her, every
night I wake up feeling like her tongue is in my mouth. Ifeel
dirty, I failed myself, I didn’t stand up for me.”
“Is that all?” Nzalo asks.
“That’s what disgusts me the most,” he’s not answeringthe
question.
Nzalo looks at him but doesn’t push with a lot of
questions.
“She will be the last person to ever make you feel this
way,” he vows.
If she didn’t die, she will wish she would have died whenthey
finally meet again.
"I hope we can have a healthy relationship with Onathi
because in all this she's innocent. I feel like we only make
up to Babomncane through her. We were manipulated
into thinking he hated this family."
"But he did hate our father," Msindisi.
"Wouldn't you hate me if I took all our inheritance tomyself
and then married your ex-girlfriend?"
Msindisi shrugs, "I guess I would."
"Exactly, so we have to be at least nice to his daughter,"Nzalo
says.
"I will wait until you go to her dad's house. That's Lwethu
multiplied by two plus Nale." They break into laughter,
for the first time this week.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 53
NALENHLE

I woke up alone, Zola went to her man’s place. Being single

is boring but good for self-introspection. I love myself more
than anything under the sun, I will never accept mediocre in
the name of having someone to calla boyfriend.
I’m having a cold cider to start my morning, I will get into
cleaning as the sun goes up. I hear a car outside, that must
be Zola. I thought she will come back Monday. I
feel like she’s going to leave as soon as Mr X is officially
introduced at home. I think I’m going to be an old, rich- at-
heart aunt who lives alone and drinks alcohol. If I hit 30
without a boyfriend and a child, I will adopt two cats.
“Mzalaaaa!”
“In bed,” I yell.
My door opens, she walks in and frowns when she seesmy
drink.
“I ate first,” I explain myself in advance.
“But still it’s too early for you to be drinking. Anyway I’m
here to get my things, Xolani said I have to move in withhim
while they’re searching for Musa and MaMkhwanazi.”
“Okay.” I’m hurt, I didn’t expect her to move out so soon.
I understand the situation and I hate that I invited these
people into our lives.
“Nzalo is with us,” she says. “Who
is Nzalo?” I’m confused.
“Come on, he wants to talk to you. Should I call him in?”
I should’ve bought Smirnoff, I need something strongerfor
this morning.
She goes to her room to pack, Nzalo walks in.
I won’t lie and say I don’t like him anymore. But he
wouldn’t be the first man I lose while I still like.
“Hey,” he says, standing by the door.
“Morning,” I take a sip to prepare for what’s coming.
“I’m sure Zola has told you about the situation at home. I
know you and I are not on good terms but your safety is my
biggest concern. As far as MaMkhwanazi is concerned you’re
my girlfriend, she might come after you.”
“And…?” I’m not sure why this is being brought to my
concern.
I’m a Thabethe, this doesn’t concern me in any way,shape or
form.
“Zola is moving in with babomncane, until we are sure what’s
going on I think you should move in with Msindisiand I too,”
he says.
“Say you’re joking!” As it stands this man wants to take me
to a lie detector test just because I added my truth tohis
truth.
“I’m not Nale, this is going public today,” he says.
“Hhayi-ke babazi, uhambe wrong. I’m not going anywhere, I
don’t even know what you people did to MaMkhwanazi, I
wasn’t present or informed.” I don’t even know if I’m still on
their side or MaMkhwanazi’s, I’mcurrently rethinking my
judgment on the matter.
MaMkhwanazi never did anything bad to me anyway.“This is
serious Nale, we have to be safe,” he says.
“There is no ‘we’, you and your family have to be safe.” I
swear to God, I’m not moving in with him. MaMkhwanaziis
not what’s going to bring us together, he watches too many
movies.
He takes a deep sigh and walks out.

I put my robe on and follow him to throw away the empty

bottle. Ah, Mr X himself is here. The Hadebes, the
superheroes.
“Hi Nalenhle,” he says.
“Hello Mr X,” I respond.
“We are trying to stay safe, this is not to achieve anypersonal
goal. Zola would not be okay if you’re herealone.” He’s been
briefed by his brother’s son and it looks like he’s taking a
side.
“I know.” Obviously Zola would be sad if anything bad
happened to me because of them.
“So why are you refusing help?” This is turning into agang up,
two grown men against one baby.
“My uncle said I mustn’t move in with men. Or you’re
saying I must disobey my uncle?” I ask.
Silence.
This proves my point, I leave them.
I throw away the bottle and warm water to wash the dishes.
Only one tap is working in our sink. Now that I’mthinking
about it, MaMkhwanazi is a baddie. She’s played both
Hadebe ancestors and their living children.
She broke Mr X’s heart once and he cried for long 50years.
She’s still showing them flames even today.
“Nokuzola was right about you,” says the voice behindme.
I turn around. It’s the one and only, Mr X.“You’re a
spoilt, selfish brat,” he says.
“Oh really?” The only reason I’m still respectful is thathe’s
my uncle’s age.
He could have played wire cars with my uncle beforeZola
and I were born.
“Yes, definitely. Right now you know that Nokuzola won’tgo
and leave you here if she comes out and finds that you want
to stay here alone,” he says.
“It’s called unity, something your family lacks.” I have putup
with him enough
“My family matters don’t make you any less of a selfish
person, you know exactly what you’re doing.” He’s angry, I
hope his heart still functions well because if hegets a heart
attack now my cousin won’t get any cent, they’re not
married yet.
He sighs heavily, “If Nzalo is the problem, will you movein
with us?”
Now he’s talking, much to his annoyance I smile. Ofcourse I
will move in with him and Zola, I’ve heard nothing but good
things about his house.
“I will go and pack, thanks Mr X.” I cannot thank God
enough for this vacation.
Indeed life is like a wheel; one moment you’re renting a
house in a township, next minute you’re moving in a
luxurious mansion in the suburbs. My enemies haven’t seen
anything!
.
.
.
ZOLA

Xolani knows me, I like that about him. I wouldn’t have been
okay if Nale stayed behind, alone. But I didn’t expect her to
come here with us. If Onathi wasn’t here it wouldn’t have
been a problem. Onathi is still adjusting tothis environment,
Xolani doesn’t know how to handle heryet. I don’t know how
she will coexist with Nale. Nale is not the most understanding
person on earth. I can put my feelings aside to accommodate
others, Nale can’t dothat and she certainly won’t do it for
Onathi.

We settle in, she’s moving in to the guest bedroom.

Onathi is locked up in her room, she will come out if she’s
demanding something. Xolani went to the police station
with Nzalo, this is the perfect opportunity for meto pull
Nale aside and run some house rules by her.
I walk in to her unpacking her suitcase.
She looks at me, “My vocabulary isn’t sufficient enoughto
describe this house. I can see my reflection on the
tiles.”
“Really?” I laugh and sit on the bed. She’s been herebefore,
she’s exaggerating.
The best part about this arrangement is that my dad
won’t find out that I moved in with Xolani, ever.
“I thought I should come and run some house rules byyou.”
“Oh child, go off!” she doesn’t even take me seriously.
“First of all, there’s a teenager in the house. She just moved
here, we are total strangers to her. Xolani is stillfiguring out his
role, so try and not argue with her.”
“Trust me, you guys will even forget that I’m here theway I
will mind my own business,” she says.
I don’t know about that, Nale’s presence alone is loud.
“Don’t call him names. I know he’s confident and doesn’tmind
you talking trash about him, but in his space be respectful,” I
say.
This doesn’t gel very well. “What names do I call him?”
“Come on, all the terms to refer to his age, refrain from
using them.”
“You have my word, from now on he’s small,” she says.“Nale,
I’m serious, otherwise you will go back to the
township,” I say and she laughs out loud.
She doesn’t think I can kick her out.
“Last but not least, keep your feet off the couches andtables,”
I say.
“So many rules, I hope I won’t forget. Introduce me tothe
staff, please.” She’s done unpacking.
This is not a castle in a movie, there’s a helper and a man
who cleans the yard three times a week. But I giveher a
house tour, in her mind she’s on vacation, she’s not a
refugee.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I’m having a blast. I brought my bikini set because I knew

there’s a pool here. It’s cloudy, I’m probably the only person
in this entire town who’s in the pool today. But
MaMkhwanazi and Musa can be caught at anytime,they
already made it to midday news. My time in this place is not
guaranteed, I could be free to go back
tomorrow and leave without ever swimming in this pool.
I remove the shades and turn to put them away. Boom,
MaMkhwanazi’s daughter is standing outside the pool looking
at me like she’s planning my murder.
“Onathi,” I say in surprise.
Zola tried introducing us to each other but she wasn’t
interested.
“Are you mentally okay?” she asks.
“Why? Are you a pyschologist?” I only know people who
studied psychology to be interested in people’s mental
state.
“No, but why are you swimming when it’s so freakin’cold?”
I laugh, obviously I don’t expect her to understand. Shehas
her own car, she probably had a pool at home growing up,
this is life to her.
“I’m a child of the water,” I say.
She frowns, “What’s that?”
“Someone who has a spiritual relationship with water. Iwas
born in the water, I get my powers from it.” I’m
totally making that up.
I love pool water, not Ngwazini river water from thevillage.
“So you’re a sangoma?” She looks interested, unlike when
Zola told her I’m her cousin, she was bored. Now she wants
to get to know me and I’m going to make sureher spoilt brat
ways end with her dad and stepmom.
“I’m more spiritually gifted than a sangoma. The
difference is that I don’t need to consult bones or do
anything, if my ancestors sense that I’m in danger or an
enemy is closeby they respond through the water. Noneof
my enemies live long,” I say.
“Wow!” She’s so impressed that she even sit down tolisten to
me.
I don’t see her trying any bullshit with me.
“What about you? What is your belief?” I ask.
“Christianity…” It doesn’t sound like a sure answer.
“What’s your favorite scripture?” I ask.
“Ummmm,” she thinks for a minute. I guess nothing
comes up, she bursts into laughter.
“Honestly, I never had any of that staff growing up but Ilove
God,” she says.
“So your mom didn’t go to church?” I ask.
“Which mom? I heard the real one goes to church.”
“Not that one, I’m talking about the one who raised youup," I
say.
“I think she went a couple of times but I never went. Maybe
that’s why my life is so fucked up. I don’t evenknow if my
name is my real name,” she says.
I feel sad for her, I know how it’s like to grow up notknowing
who you really are.
“At least you know your dad now and there’s plenty timefor
you guys to have a relationship,” I say.
“I don’t think so. It’s DNA forcing us to have a relationship, I
don’t think we’ll ever have a natural connection. I felt it with
my dad, oh well he’s actually anuncle. I felt the care and
love. Here I feel nothing, I’m just a girl who was handed over
to a man because the papers were right.”
“Jeez, don’t talk like that Onathi “ It makes me sad thatshe
feels this way. Even though I understand, I feel like
she’s being hard on herself. I know that’s not how Mr Xsees
her.
“It’s the truth, he doesn’t even know what to do when weare
together. He’s happier with her,” she says. Her is
Zola whom she doesn’t seem to get along with.
“Because they’ve known each other longer but I will tellyou
what, you’re his first and only child. You’re the firstperson
to ever call him dad,” I say.
“I have never called him that,” she says.
“Maybe you should, just meet him half way. Maybe onceyour
relationship has a solid foundation he will arrange
for you to see your mom again.”
“You think so?” Her eyes light up when I mention hermom.
“Definitely,” I say.
“You’re the best mermaid that I know.”
Mermaid, really?!
If I don’t get out I will freeze, I ask her to pass me the
towel. I wrap myself up and put my shades back on. I see
Onathi as the young version of me, except I don’t
come from a luxurious background, my uncle was nevera
hitman and my foot never set inside a private school.
But I think she knows what she wants in life and she'strue
to herself.

We walk in, Mr X turns his head and frowns. Him and I don’t
get along, we just tolerate each other. He can’t get
rid of me, I also can’t get rid of him. Zola looks confusedand
shocked as him. I think they expected the situation
to be “spoilt brat meet spoilt brat”, not knowing that I’m a
child of the water.
I rush to change, there’s a series we have to watch in afew
minutes. I dry myself and moisturize. My phone rings. Wrong
caller, wrong timing!
“Yini kodwa?” I pick up.
“I booked us for a polygraph tomorrow morning,” he
says.
Maybe I should calm down a bit. “Us? I’m not going
anywhere with you. If you think you’re going to fool meby
booking romantic trips for us while we haven’t…”
“It’s not a romantic trip, we are going to take a test tosee
who’s lying,” he says.
Mxm, why did he make it sound like something
amazing?
“Didn’t I say I’m not going?” I’m pissed.
“Why not? You are telling the truth, right?”
“I am, why are you so offended?” I don’t understand whywe
have to take it this far.
I said what I said, there can be more than one truths. “I
will see you tomorrow then, don’t drink,” he says.
Now he’s trying to control what I do with my throat. Thenerve
of this guy!
Last Night Sponsor*

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 54
ZOLA

It surprised me that Nale gets along with Onathi. Maybeshe

has a pull for teenagers because she also gets along with
Nzalo’s sister. Seeing Onathi laughing made her dad happy.
Maybe this situation was meant to happen, Nale was one
piece that was going to completethe puzzle. I’m also very
proud of her, she’s been respectful towards Xolani.
It’s late, I don’t know what’s still keeping him busy.
Yesterday he left before we could do anything, I miss him.
I’m about to call him because I’m lazy to get out ofbed, he
makes his way in.
“I was about to call you,” I say.
He smiles with a slight frown, “Was I missing?”“Yeah,
I’ve been waiting for over five minutes.”
He takes off his T-shirt and gets in bed only in his shorts.I turn
to lie on my side facing him. A smile pulls from the corners of
his mouth. “Why does it look like I’m about to be devoured?”
“That’s a big word, I just miss you.” I can definitely feel the
difference now that there’s Onathi in the house. Wecan no
longer move around half naked, playing and
touching each other. It doesn’t help that I think shedoesn’t
like me.
“I miss you too.” He tares at me for a good minute and
then smiles, rubbing my chin. “You know sometimes youpray
to God and get everything you prayed for without even
realizing it. All I ever wanted as a young man was getting
financial freedom and finding love, then having a daughter.
My daughter didn’t come from you but I’m surethere will be a
baby in the future.”
I don’t know why that bruises my heart a bit. I wanted hisfirst
child to be my first child but it is what it is.
“God blessed me with everything, especially when it comes
to you. I should’ve never risked our relationship with
nonsense and I promise, you will never talk to me more than
once about one thing. I have so much respectfor you and the
role you’ve played in my life so far.”
“I really hope you mean that Xolani.” I hate it when we
argue because it’s always about one thing, or should I say
person.
“I mean it, I’m not going to disappoint you.” He re- adjusts,
pulling me closer to his chest. His lips take mine, I wrap my
hand around his neck, I want him deeper. His boner grows as
our lips entwines, exploringeach other deeply.
My hand grabs out his shaft, it’s already hard. I play withit, he
responds with chest-deep moans in my mouth. Ourlips break
apart, I climb on his waist. His hands cup my butt-cheeks, his
lips still searching mine for a kiss. But I want to kiss him
somewhere else.
I slide down, his shorts are just below his balls. The covers go
off to the floor. I pull out his shorts and lick thetip of his dick.
He chuckles, his face lifted curiously.
I get half in my mouth before pressing my tongue and licking
it. It starts off as a practice and ends up a full blow, with him
moaning my name and brushing my headas it goes down on
him. I didn’t think I would enjoy this so much. I only struggle
when he starts moving his waist, thrusting in my throat like
he would in my cookie.
I pull back and hear a groan of frustration.
I need to drink some water and have a breath.
He gets up and grabs me, a bit aggressive. He realizes how
tight his grip is around my arm and lets go. He pinsme down
on my back and spreads my legs apart. I wanta kiss but he’s
impatiently after something that’s moist between my legs.
“Xolani get a condom,” I whisper.
He takes a sharp breath. “Can I go raw, just this oneround?”
My mind sanely says no but my body lets in. I wrap myarm
around his back, he kisses my forehead and then lifts my
leg up. His fingers play on my clit before his shaft makes
the grand entrance.
“I really missed you,” he says, moving his waist in a slow
rhythm, his eyes locked on mine.
“I missed you too babe.” My leg goes further up.
I want all of him inside me. There’s something extra that
comes with raw meat filling you up. I call his name, he raises
the pace. There it is! That’s how I want it.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I don’t know which abuse category this falls under, I’m

leaving a comfortable bed early in the morning for a bloody
lie detector test. Nzalo has some serious mental problems,
no normal person would do this thing. So what if his truth is
different from mine? I’m not even going to talk to him until
we get there. I pull a beanie down my forehead and connect
my earphones once I’m seated in the car. If we get there and
find out that I’m theone telling the truth our relationship will
go down the
coffin, he’s pushing the last nail.

I’m sure people come here for serious, life-threatening

stories. Spoilt brat Nzalo is just coming here because hehas
money to waste. No machine is going to tell me thatI’m lying.
Only I know my truth here.
“Hadebe,” the lady at the door recognizes him then
sympathizes with my unknown self with a fake smile.
“I hope we are on time,” Nzalo says.
“Yes, you’re on time,” she chuckles.
We are led inside the room, I guess this is where the
test is going to happen. There’s a desk and a machine on top
of it. First, there are forms to sign. I must agree inorder for
this to happen. It’s a voluntary test, you cannotbe forced to
take it. I can refuse, I have a right to, but I want to put this to
bed.
“I’m going to attach four sensors to your body. I cannot
detect that you’re telling a lie but the sensors will record
physical changes that you might have while answering a
question. Your breathing rate, pulse, blood pressure and
perspiration. Your vital signs will be recorded and examined
for each question. Do you understand?”
“Yeah sure, let’s do it.” I don’t talk too much, God speaksfor
me.
I go first, she attaches the four sensors to me. I’m calm,I
have taken HIV and pregnancy tests before, this is nothing.
“Is your name Nalenhle. Yes or no?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Did you brush your teeth this morning?”Is
this a joke?
“Yes,” I say.
“Do you have ten fingers?”
Waste of time?
“Yes, hhayi bo,” I say.
“During the week that you had to prepare for your
mother’s funeral, did your then boyfriend call you only
twice to check up on you?”
I take a deep breath.
“I’m not a Math genius…”
“Please answer yes or no,” she says.
“Yes,” I say.
“Did he ask to come and be with you in person anytimeduring
that week?”
“No,” I say.
“Did he offer any financial help?” “Yes.”
But it wasn’t for the funeral.
I don’t even know why this is coming up.
“Did he abandon you and made you feel alone in your
relationship?”
“Yes,” I say.
If the results come back saying I’m lying it would meanthis
machine is cheap quality from China and it’s not working
properly. Nzalo takes the seat to answer the same
questions. Then we wait for the results like two strangers.
I’m the master of cold shoulder.
“This wasn’t necessary, you know that right?”Is
he kidding me?
“You brought us here,” I say.
“Because the things you said hurt my feelings. You could’ve
made your point without bringing your mother’sdeath up
because if I could, I would’ve taken that pain back. I was
with you, I felt your pain,” he says.
“You’re a self-absorbed person.” I don’t even know why
I’m having this conversation right now. One thing nobodycan
ever do is dismiss my feelings. This is how I feel, unless he’s
living in my heart he can’t tell me otherwise.
The results are ready, I hope this woman knows what she’s
doing. She reads the first questions that she askedme, they
were just general questions asked to set me upfor the real
deal questions.
“I asked you a question; during the week that you had to
prepare for your mother’s funeral did your then boyfriendcall
you only twice to check up on you. You answered yes, you
were not telling the truth.”
Wait, hold up!
“You didn’t ask me that question,” I say.She
frowns and looks at Nzalo.
“It’s on record,” she says.
“I don’t care, you didn’t ask me that question. If you did it
wasn’t constricted like that and my answer to it wasn’t a lie,” I
say.
“Hhayi-bo Nale, now you’re saying a whole polygraph islying?’
Nzalo asks.
I thought he knows me. I told him I don’t want to do this
stupid thing and he kept on pushing. So yes, the
machine is lying, this woman is lying, if he disagreeswith
me he’s also lying.
“I have it down on record,” the woman insists. As if
I don’t have my own records in my head. “My
records also say you’re lying, let’s agree to
disagree.” I’m actually done here, Nzalo will find me
outside after settling the bill. I grab my purse and walkout,
leaving them stunned.

It takes a few minutes for him to come out. I don’t knowif he

looks angry or disappointed, or both. I get inside
the car and unwrap a bar of chocolate, I didn’t have any
breakfast before leaving my mansion.
“You could’ve refused to take the test right from the startthan
this,” he says.
“Didn’t I refuse Nzalo?” I ask.
“If you did you wouldn’t be here. Lying is just a hobby toyou?”
“If you say so,” I say.
He heaves a deep sigh and looks outside the window.He’s not
moving this car anytime soon.
“This whole thing breaks my heart,” he says.
He’s facing the window so I can’t hear him clearly.“What
thing?” I ask.
“The break up, I think it was a harsh decision. Everyone
makes mistakes and it sucks that you had to wait a
certain amount of time before telling me you are not happy.
You could’ve said that earlier and I could’ve fixedmy ways.”
I feel emotionally blackmailed right now.
“So now everything is my fault?” I ask.
“That’s not what I’m saying, I’m saying you could’ve been
more open from the very beginning. What can I dowith a
statement that says ever since we started dating Ihave never
been happy, months down the line?”
“I didn’t say I have never been happy, I said our
relationship changed and gradually gotten worse.
Especially after you found out about Musa,” I say.
“I hear you,” he looks outside the window again.Are
we ever going to move from here?
“But I really wanted us to work, on my side everything was
okay. I was happy throughout the course of our relationship.
I felt loved, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed with anyone the
way I have laughed with you. I wanted itto be a forever thing,
I don’t know where I came short. I always have a plan, in case
something doesn’t work out.But for the first time in my life I
have no plan, Nalenhle.
I’m not sure how stuff works now that you’ve chosen to
walk your journey without me. I feel lost, I feel
confused.”
“I didn’t choose Nzalo, you’re misusing the word. I didn’tsee
any other option, you were making me walk my journey alone
anyway,” I say.
“It wasn’t my intention, I could prove that to you if you
give me another chance. Everyone makes mistakes, Inever
said I don’t want to learn and become a better boyfriend. I
only need a chance to, I will take pointersand improve,”
he says.
“Couldn’t you say this right when I told you how I feel?You
had to cause drama first. Leave my place without taking a
shower, discussing me with everyone close tous and
dragging me to take polygraph.” I don’t understand how he
became the dramatic one and whotold him dramatic men
are tolerable.
“I was confused,” he says.
“You’re confused about everything lately, you need totouch a
reset button. Please start the car and find us
somewhere to eat.” This man has stressed me way too
much, I deserve a good treat.
“Nale?” He’s looking at me.
I sigh, “What? You think I would be going out to eat your
money if I wasn’t giving you another chance?”
“Yes,” he says.
Wow, I can’t believe he’s trying to blow out his chanceso
instantly!
“I have missed you so much baby.” He finally smiles.
I won’t admit that I missed him probably way more thanhe
did.
We share our first post-break-up kiss. I’m a good kisser,he
really almost lost a diamond.
“Shit, shit! We have to go,” he says, grabbing hissunglasses
from the dashboard.
What’s going on? I’m seeing a man walking with acamera
towards us.
“Who is that?” I ask.
“Fuckin’ journalist. I don’t know what they want because
everything that we know is already on the media,” he’s
annoyed.
“Wait, we can’t leave! Nzalo!” I’m going to lose my mindright
now.
This is my only shot at becoming a celebrity and he just
ruined it. I could’ve had my face all over the newspapers
tomorrow morning and signed autographs for my fans.
“I hate this,” he finally slows down.
The only thing I hate right now is his empty head.
“You’re unbelievable, shem.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 55
NALENHLE

My uncle and I have never had any conversation about not

moving in with a man. There’s been never a need forit
because I’ve never been the one to give up my personal
space for a man. But I’ve weighed my options now and I don’t
see why I should be in Mr X’s house, not
with my boyfriend. This might be a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity. If not for the so-called safety reasons, why else
would I live with Nzalo? Marriage isn’t something onthe table
yet.
He pulls up outside Mr X’s house. “So later I shouldcome and
pick you up?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
He smiles, “2pm?”
“Mjita, you said later, 2pm is in 3 hours.”“Now
I’m mjita to you?” He laughs.
I kiss his lips and take his designer sunglasses for futureglam
purposes.
I open the door, he calls my name.“I
love you,” he says.
“Thank you,” I haven’t chopped down my ego yet.He
shakes his head with a low chuckle.
“Why don’t you come and greet your new cousin?” I ask.“Oh
no, she will be triggered from seeing me,” he says.
Damn, I forget that he’s not a sweetheart to everyone. Ibid
goodbye and make my way in.

Onathi is in the kitchen, I’m surprised she knows how to

warm her own meal in the microwave.
“I’m shocked,” I say.
“So am I,” she folds her arms, looking at me.
She’s a beauty princess, you can tell she grew up eating
cornflakes for breakfast.
“Shocked by me?” I'm confused.
“You’re dating that guy,” she says.“Isn’t
he your cousin?” I ask.
“No, he doesn’t like me. Why are you with him? He’sevil.”
Only if she knew how that devil makes me feel!
“Once you give yourself time to get to know everyone
better you will understand them,” I say.
“I believe in first impressions,” she says.
I’m not going to try and convince her otherwise. She’shere to
stay, this is her family, she will adapt.
“Where is Zola?” I ask.
She scoffs, “Upstairs.”
“Since morning?” I know Zola loves Mr X a bit too extra but
this is unhealthy.
“Get ready for a sibling,” I say.
“Yikes! I can’t picture that, dad is too old.”
Wait, did she just call him dad? I feel like a class teacher
whose students produced 100% pass rate. But Mr X isn’t too
old for sex, in fact he’s the right age for sex,
Onathi should be painting cartoons.
.
.
.
I will talk to my uncle first and then inform everyone thatI’m
moving out. I won’t tell him all the details but he’s probably
seen something on the news. I can’t change location and not
inform my family. Life is unpredictable, anything can happen.
He answers, “This is a blessing.”
I call him everyday, I don’t know why he always acts likeI
don’t.
“My handsome uncle that I love,” I say.
“Alright, you want something. What is it?”“A
favour,” I say.
“What kind of favor?”
“A favor to move in with Nzalo for a couple of weeks, it’snot
safe where we are at the moment,” I say.
“There’s nothing called a moving-in-with-a-boy favor. Ifit’s
not safe where you are, you must both come back home.
Alikho ithuna lendlala,” he says.
“Zola has already moved in with Mr X,” I say.
“What? Are you kidding me? I made it very clear toNokuzola
where I stand.”
Oops!
“If you both can’t do what you left home for anymore,
then take a taxi back home. What kind of madness is
this? One moves in with a father and the other moves inwith
a son. Is that how bad am I as a parent?”
I can hear his wife in the background asking what’s going on.
The call is dropped from his side, I try callinghim again but
the number is busy. Maybe it’s signal issues, I connect my
phone to the charger and get my suitcase to start packing
again. I know he’s just shocked, not angry. My uncle can
never say no to me.

“Nalenhle! Nalenhle!
Do we have a madwoman in this beautiful mansion?I
open the door. It’s Zola, I almost called the cops. “Why
are you screaming like a madwoman?” I ask.
“For a day I thought I could trust you but you’ve alreadyran
your big mouth to dad, as if I wasn’t going to let himknow in
my own time.” Zola is a short girl with anger issues,
everybody knows.
“I wasn’t ratting you out, I just used you as an example,”I
say.
“You could’ve pleaded your case without involving myname.
What’s wrong with you?” For her man’s sake I hope she calms
down.
“You were the only example I had. What did you expect me
to do? Use Rihanna as an example, he doesn’t knowher.” I
don’t see what I did wrong here. “Is he still angry?”
“What do you think?” She’s livid.
Mr X appears with a phone on his ear.
We both look at him until he humbly wishes the person agood
day.
Then he sighs, “It’s okay, sthandwa sami.”“Did
he understand?” Zola asks.
“A bit, I think we’ll have it sorted during the negotiations,"he
says.
I’m glad they talked about it, man to man. Knowing my
uncle, he will fine him for disrespecting his rules.
“What about my situation? What did he say?” I ask.
Nobody answers me. He takes Zola’s hand and they walk
away. Now I’m an enemy to them but they wouldn’teven
know each other’s name if it wasn’t for me.
My phone rings inside the bedroom, I rush back in.

It’s my uncle, I think Mr X knocked some sense into his

head.
“Nale, this is your aunt,” – it's his wife.
“Oh, hello aunty,” I’m surprised.
“We just heard what happened to your illegal partners’
family,” she says.
“Ummm yeah.” I can’t believe she just called them that.
“You still remember what I said about condoms, right?”
Sigh!
“Yes, I always remember,” I say.
“Good. If there’s no condom keep your thighs shut, if he’s
too itchy he will warm himself there, away from themain
castle.” Jeez.
“Aunty you realize this information is on the internet as
well, I can easily remind myself there if I forget,” I don’t
want to hold this weird conversation.
“If you trusted the internet that much then why didn’t you
seek permission to move in with a boy from there?” she asks.
“Okay aunty, what else?” This is embarrassing.
I’m a grown independent woman, I own an iPhone.
“Respect yourself, and by that I mean don’t always be
available for him,” she says.
“I’m not moving in with him as in moving in, I’m just
going there for safety reasons,” I say.
“Yes, you’re moving in as in moving in. Even if it’s just a
couple of weeks a boy will want what all boys want. I wish I
can say uhlale ngentombi but that only applied years ago,” I
hear a heavy sigh.
“I hear you, you don’t have to worry about me.” I wish I can
loudly add that I have years of experience in the sex
department, Nzalo can’t get me pregnant even if he betshis
life on it.
.
.
.
**AT THE THABETHES**

Thabethe walks in, he wants his phone back now before they
finish his airtime. These kids don’t listen, there’s no advice
they’re going to take seriously.
“My phone,” he says.
Khululiwe ends the call and gives it back. She trusts Nale a
bit more than Zola. Zola might fall pregnant fromthis
arrangement.
“They could’ve just came home,” Thabethe is stillranting.
“Hhayi-bo Thabethe, they have jobs that side. They willtake
care of themselves, I talked to both of them aboutsafe sex.”
His jaw twitches. Sex is sex, whether it’s safe or not.
The other one recently broke Nale’s heart, the other oneis his
age mate wanting to devour his child.
“I’m going to clean Bazamile’s room,” she says. She wason her
way there when the call came. Everytime she misses her
sister-in-law she goes to her room.
Sometimes she sleeps here, leaving her husband alonein
their bedroom.
Bazamile left a mark, it’s been lonely without her. She’sfelt
useless, like she’s got nothing to look forward to everyday.
Thabethe still has his sheep to worship. Thekids went back to
their lives. She’s the only one who seems to be stuck with a
void that nobody can fill.
The door opens, it’s Thabethe following her. She immediately
gets off the bed and holds the broom.
“It’s okay, I know you’re just here to be closer to her,” hesays.
Nothing much has changed in their marriage, the
distance is still there.
“I miss her, Thabethe. Is it only me or it feels quietwithout
her?”
He frowns, “Quiet?”
“Yeah. That’s stupid, right?”
“I don’t think it’s stupid, you were the closest person to her.”
He wraps his arms around her. She doesn’t fight him, she lets
him hold her. She’s cried enough since thefuneral, at some
point she has to figure out how life moves forward without
her. She has to find a hobby or something else that’s going to
keep her occupied.
“Mama wez’ngane zami nami ngiyakudinga nami,” he pleads
his case once again. He also needs her, their marriage needs
her to work. It’s been a long time, theyhave to move on from
this and focus on their marriage.
“I’m always here for you though, I didn’t leave,” she
says.
“But our needs have been neglected for so long. I sleep with
a blanket wrapped around me. Is this how I’m goingto live
the rest of my life, mkami?”
She takes a deep breath. “It’s midday Thabethe,awukahle.”
“Right now I’d take anything, anytime of the day. Even ifit’s
your hand mkami, as long as you touch me.” He looks into
her eyes gently. A vein has popped on his
forehead. “I even shaved my beard off because I don’t know
if you still find me attractive or you’re distracted byit.
Awusang’thandi yini Khululiwe?”
“Hhayi Thabethe, why would I be here if I didn’t loveyou?”
She’s blushing.
“Then show me,” he says, his hand running over her
jawline.
“What if Thami comes back from school and finds ushaving
sex in his aunt’s room?”
“He’s not coming home until 2:45pm. Don’t worry, lift thisup
mama, let me see.” He kisses her lips and lifts her dress up.
She releases an enormous sigh. His hand slides under her
petticoat, there’s a full black MaMhlongo pant blocking his
way.
He looks at her, smiling. “Let’s get this out.”
She pulls it down to her ankles and steps out of it. Now he
can freely touch her kitty. It’s hiding in a thick bush, his
fingers rub over her clit that’s hanging like a light bulb. Their
lips move on top of each other. He keeps moaning softly, his
thick black mamba is poking his blueoveralls.
He unbuttons it and takes it off. A starved, provoked black
mamba stands up against his navel with pre-cumcoating its
head.
She lies on her sister-in-law’s bed, her hefty thighs slightly
open. Thabethe leans over for a kiss, then spreads her legs
further apart. Her clit looks two timesbigger and hard, he
rubs it sideways until she squirms.
“Thabethe!”
He blocks her from closing her legs and brings his black
mamba closer. She’s wet, he rubs her thick moisture around
the head of his mamba and slowly dips in her pink hole,
keeping her thick lips separated with his
fingers.
“Aaah, mama wakwami.” A sensation just rushedthroughout
the veins of his body.
Khululiwe shuts her eyes and keeps her focus on the warm
feeling of pleasure she’s feeling deep inside heras he fills
up her core.
“It’s still just you, Khululiwe. There’s no one else, no oneelse
to give me this.” He releases a deep groan and raises his pace.
A thunderous sound comes as he slamsagainst her hefty
thighs. His deep moans feel the room.
She’s muffling her screams.
He stops and stands still. “Fuqa mama, fuqa!”
Khululiwe balances her elbows down and moves herwaist
up.
“Thabethe, it feels good,” she cries out.
He pins her down, it’s his turn to move again. “Hold the
Thabethes mama, they’re now coming.”
She lies on her back with her eyes closed and waits untilshe
feels warm mayonnaise spilling inside her. Her husband’s
deep groan is satisfying to listen to. It’s been over two
decades and he still enjoys her the way he did the first time.
He pulls out, his black mamba still looks unsatisfied.“I
love you, Mam’ Thabethe.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 56

After Nale’s departure, Onathi went back to full brat-mode.

She didn’t show up for dinner, her dad had to
take her dinner to her in the bedroom. He understands that
it’s hard, her world changed abruptly and she is notfamiliar
with this new family. But they cannot continue like this, at
some point she has to meet him half way.
He walks in once again, Onathi is curled up on bed withher
phone.
“We have to talk,” he says.
She doesn’t acknowledge him; she keeps her eyes onthe
phone.
“If you want to go, you can go Onathi,” he’s fed up.
She snaps her brows and looks up. “You want me togo?”
“If that’s what you want, because this is not working. I’m
trying my best here and you seem to think everything ismy
fault. I said as soon as it’s safe, Winnie will visit you.But
that’s not enough, you want to go back and be a milkcow for
those two criminals. I don’t know what makes you think
Winnie will want you back, Phindile is no longer there to
fund her for looking after you.”
His words stab like a sword. Yes, they’ve been
communicating, she’s been trying to be a daughter butthe
energy Winnie returns hasn’t been the same. She excused
the nonchalance she had when Nzalo wantedto grind her
feet. She showed no sympathy for her, in
fact she was willing to see someone she’s called herdaughter
being killed.
“Do you want me to drive you to Durban tomorrow?”
Xolani asks.
She keeps quiet.
“I can do that but just know that the property you all had was
under Phindile and anything that was under her wasjoint to
her late husband, meaning Nzalo and his siblingsare entitled
to everything.”
“Is she dead? Phindile?” she asks.“Do
you care?” Xolani.
She takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah.”
“And you don’t care about me?” It doesn’t make sense.
Phindile didn’t raise her either. Is it because she sentmoney?
Did Winnie ruin this child to that extent?
She doesn’t answer his question.
“Do you want me to take you to Winnie? I can do that,” he
asks.
“I want my car,” she says.
“No.” He’s not going to allow.
He got her the phone, that’s enough.
“Then get out of my room and close the door, I don’t want
to talk to you anymore.” She pulls the covers overher head.
“Onathi don’t try me!”
“Get out, Xolani,” she yells.
He takes a deep breath to control himself. This is not what he
signed up for. This is a nightmare, not a child hedreamed of.

Zola watches him walking in and kicking his shoes off. He’s
angry, clenching his jaws and looking ready to popoff.
“What happened?” she asks.
“That child, Nokuzola. That child! I’m going to end up injail.”
“What has she done?” she asks.
 “The way she disrespects me, you’d swear I denied heras a
baby or ran away from her mother. How is everything my
fault? She’s under my roof and telling meto get out of the
room that I built!”
“Whoah! She kicked you out?” Zola is shocked. “Can
you imagine? I’m tempted to go and drag her
outside the gate, let’s see if her so-called parents come
through without a cheque,” he says.
“No, that’s harsh. I don’t think you are what rocks her boat.
Both you and I, she doesn’t like us. She related better to
Nale and warmed up to her. This might be toostrict for her,
she’s used to a slayqueen mom who allowed her to be on
social media, out in clubs and parties, wearing whatever the
heck she wanted. Now
there’s you with thousand house rules and non-playful
nature.”
“I’m trying to protect her,” he says, getting more irritated.Zola
out of all people should understand this.
“But obviously she doesn’t see it that way,” she says.
“That’s why I told her to go back to Winnie if she wants.Let’s
see how she survives there without Phindile’s cheque,” he
says.
Zola rolls her eyes and drops her eyes back to the
phone.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Msindisi is not okay and I wonder what’s eating him up. He’s
a cheerful person, always smiling and looking handsome. But
today he just looks lost. Maybe it’s the change of
environment and he misses MaMkhwanazi. Nzalo is taking a
bath, I join him in the dining room. He’sstill playing with his
food that was dished an hour ago.
“Are you homesick?” I sit down on the chair.He
sighs, “Not at all, I’m okay.”
“You can’t fool me. What’s going on?” Msindisi has beenthere
for me at my lowest, it’s only fair that I return the
favour.
“I’m just confused and hurt,” he says.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.
“Not now, but thank you. Thank you for forgiving him aswell.”
He cracks a thin smile.
“He’s very dramatic,” I say.
“I know, hey.” He pushes the plate away and leans backon the
chair with his hands behind his neck. He’s stressed, it’s
evident in his eyes.
“Msindisi!” I feel sad for him.
“I’m just sad, Nale,” he says.
“Why though?” I ask.
“Because it took years for me to love myself and be
confident,” he says.
“What do you mean?” I’m confused.
“I just struggle with confidence and now I don’t think I
have any that’s left. And this time around I know that I
have no one,” he says.
“You have your family nje,” I say.
“Lwethu is young and she’s a girl. Nzalo is not like me, he
doesn’t deal with things like me, he will never understand
me. I don’t even know if I want to talk aboutwhat’s going on
in my head while I don’t even understand myself at times.”
“I get it. Do you think you need professional
counseling?” I ask.
“I just want the world to silence for a month or two,” he
says.
I doubt that can happen, there’s a lot to talk about in the
world for us to be quiet.
“Time heals. Do you want a hug?” I ask.
He smiles lazily and nods. I hug him, I don’t know how he
lacks confidence with his looks and on the other handNzalo
believes he’s Mr Universe.
I leave him because he needs silence, I hope being herein his
mother’s house will bring some healing to his heart.

Nzalo is the real mermaid here, I don’t know how can aman
spend over 15 minutes bathing. He’s finally out, staring at
himself in the mirror while applying a lotion.
“Why are you partially feminine?” I ask.
He laughs, “Because I have to look good and get aspare
girlfriend, just in case I get dumped again.”
“You have dry jokes. Come and sit down.” I want to talkto
him about serious issues, not spare girlfriend delusions.
He wraps up, taking his time and finally grants me his
attention.
“Msindisi is not okay. Are you aware?” I ask.“Yeah,” he
says.
“What is your plan?”
“I think he will be okay once justice is served.
Babomncane is taking us somewhere tomorrow, hopefully
that’s also going to help. Otherwise there’s
nothing I can do unless he asks me to do something. I’mjust
going to be here.”
“Be a good brother, be emotionally available. It may not be
what you want when facing situations but people are
different,” I say.
“I get it and I’m trying to be what you want.” Now he’smaking
this about me.
I’m over it. I carry myself through pain and survive.He
holds my hand. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask.
“Caring about my brother. I love how you didn’t breakyour
relationship with my siblings when you and I
weren’t seeing eye to eye. That’s maturity I didn’t expectfrom
you,” he says.
“I don’t know if this is a shade or compliment. But I’m not
childish and they’re nice to me, unlike you,” I say.
“Okay let’s talk about it. Beside the emotional availability,
what else do you not like? I don’t want to hear you telling
me that you’re unhappy after months.”
“I want you to be a man and provide for me.” He askedand I’m
giving him my honest answer.
I don’t know what’s tickling him; he’s laughing hisstomach
out.
He finally stops. “Okay. Are you going to be a woman forme
in return?”
“What do you mean?” I’m confused.
“Never mind.” He laughs again.
I still don’t know what’s funny.
“Can you please get me my socks? My feet are cold.”
“Why don’t you get them yourself?” I’m not his wife, thisis
exactly what my aunt warned me about. Once you’re
available and physically present men take you for granted.
He stares at me for a minute and then gets them
himself. It wasn’t that hard, was it?
.
.
.
Nzalo told me about the morning trip Mr X is taking themto
but I didn’t think it would be this early. I’m woken up by
Nzalo running around getting ready.
“Morning babe,” he kisses my forehead.
“I thought we’d cuddle a bit.” I came here because wehave
to make up and Mr X is dragging him back to the “busy
Nzalo” that I hated.
“We’ll cuddle all day, this will only take three hours.” He
kisses me again. “Come and greet babomncane, please.”
Can this morning get any worse?
“Do I have to?” I ask.
“Yeah, he knows that you’re here.”
I’m not just his girlfriend, I’m Zola’s aunt too. I don’t haveto
be nice to Mr X if I choose not.
I put my robe on and drag myself to the kitchen wherehe
is.
“Morning,” I say.
He looks up, his brow curves up. “Hi Nale.” “Nzalo
said I must come and greet you,” I say.“Oh, it
makes sense,” he says.
Done.
Oh, I turn back.
“How is Onathi?” I ask.
“Crazy, that’s how she is.” His phone rings.
I don’t think he’s good at raising children, maybe he’sjust
good at dating them.
I leave him to his phone call.

Just as I’m about to enter the bedroom, he comes right

after my heel calling Nzalo. He has to go home real quickly,
this is news to my ears.
“I thought you cleared your morning for this,” Nzalo isready to
go and this delay annoys him.
“I don’t know what she’s doing in my house,” he saysand
hurries out, leaving us confused.
Who is she that’s worrying him so much? My
phone rings in the midst of confusion.
“Mzala,” I answer.
“Guess who joined me this morning?”
“I don’t have time for guessing Zola.” I have to use this
opportunity to get some cuddling.
“Miss Robyn,” she says.
“Fuck! What is she doing there? What does she want?”
“I don’t know, Xolani will explain when he gets here,” shesays.
Gosh, I hope Mr X’s white is white because we areexpecting
lobola very soon.
Zola sounds calmer than I would be.
I look at Nzalo, “Let’s follow.”
“No, we are having coffee and minding our business.”
What business do we have? Is it better than Mr X’sbusiness?
I want to know what brought Robyn to his house.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 58
NALENHLE

We are back in our place, I don’t think I will be going back to

Nzalo before my cousin is okay. She’s hurting, Ihave gone to
buy some comfort food and spent a
fortune. I go out and drink my sorrows away when
heartbroken. Zola is an indoor person, she doesn’t drink,
comforting her is very tricky.
I know this is not the conversation she wants to have
right now but we have to talk about it.
“When are you telling your dad?” I ask. “You
will tell him on my behalf,” she says.
“Say you’re joking!” I don’t have the courage to do that.My
uncle has been against her relationship since day one, it
wasn’t easy for him to accept Mr X’s proposal
letter, now I have to tell him to cancel preparations? No,I
can’t.
“I’m not joking, you know he understands you better
than me,” she says.
“I love you mzala but I can’t.” I bump heads with my uncle
too, I just know how to get my way around him. I can’t be
the one always bringing bad news in the family.
She sighs heavily, “Can you get me some ice-cream?”
I don’t mind, I’ve been running errands since we got
here. I rinse a cup and get her some ice-cream in it.
When I come back, she’s crying again.
“You will get sick Zola, you have to stop now.” I give herthe
ice-cream.
She wipes her face and starts eating. Mr X is a horribleman,
I hope MaMkhwanazi is out there planning to bomb his
house. Both him and Robyn deserve hell.
.
.
.

There’s a car outside. I hope it’s not Mr X, I don’t haveboiled

water to pour on him. I look through the window,it’s Nzalo. I
thought they’d take longer with their mysterious trip.
I wait for him at the door.
He comes out in dark green tracksuits and white cap. Why am
I smiling? Is it how handsome he looks or the
gift bag in his hand? Nzalo hardly gives gifts but whenhe
does, they’re thoughtful and expensive.
A smile pulls from his lips when he sees my cheerfulface.
“Awuzithandi kanje izinto!”
“I was just appreciating your cap, I didn’t even noticewhat’s in
your hands,” I say.
He kisses my lips and gives it to me. “Is it safe to go in?”
“Yeah, she’s calm,” I say.
We walk in, I’m rushing to see what he bought me. He walks
on into the lounge where Zola is. I open the gift bag, there’s
a big silver chain. Maybe he thinks I aspireto be Tupac, I take
it out and feel its weight. This is not fake, not that I expect
any fake from him. There’s a littlepadlock thing on the front.
I don’t understand, this is a complicated chain.
“Babeee!” I yell, making my way to him.
I know this might look inconsiderate to Zola but I don’t
mean to flex.
“Is this a padlock?” I ask.
He laughs, “No, but you can open that and put any small
thing that reminds you of your mom so that you can carry
her around.”
I can’t think of anything that will fit here, unless I tear a
small piece of her favorite cloth and put it. I really love it
now.
I try it on, I look like a struggling Tupac with my cheapsweat
pants. Wait….is this my mom’s death date embossed on it?
I look at him, “Is this a date or just numbers?”
His look softens, he blows me a kiss and turns back toZola.
I rush to the bedroom and look at myself in the mirror.
This is not a coincidence, he had a chain made in my mother’s
honor. A real chain that I can trade for a fortuneand afford a
hitman to take out Mr X on Zola’s behalf.

Hands hold my waist. He turns me around and wipes my

cheeks. Something dropped on them and made them wet. He
kisses my lips and engulfs me in a tight hug.
“Awusatetemi kanje!”
I take a deep breath, “Thank you, I really appreciate
this.”
“You’re welcome. I have spoken to Zola, you’re comingwith
me.”
“Urgh Nzalo, I can’t leave her in this state. Not to
mention that we are not safe.” If MaMkhwanazi wants to
touch one of us, she must touch both. I die where my cousin
dies.
“I will have someone keeping an eye on her,” he says. “You
or your uncle sent you?” I don’t trust the Hadebes.“I will,” he
says.
I don’t know if I trust him, Mr X could have sent him.
“After what he did, do you still trust him?” I ask.
He frowns, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, he cheated on my cousin and lied. I wouldn’t
want to keep anyone like that in my circle,” I say.
“Don’t tell me you want me to stop talking to my uncle.”Here
it is, he supports Mr X.
I carefully take off the chain. I appreciate it, not theperson
who bought it.
“Come on Nale, these people will forgive each other andget
back together. Where will that leave me? I’m not
taking any side,” he says.
Men will always support each other’s bullshit.
“Zola will not go back to your uncle. Do you know how many
men are queueing to have a chance with her? I’mtalking
about handsome men from magazines.”
“I guess it’s babomncane’s loss then,” he says.
“Exactly, he’s a fool and I’m not goings anywhere withyou.”
“What have I done?” He laughs.
“Your uncle’s sins have fallen upon your shoulders. Wewere
together last night, why can’t you understand thisfamily
emergency and go spend the night with Msindisi?”
“Babomncane took us to a herbalist that gave us herbs
to use. I have to get incisions on my body and that shit is
scary, I need moral support.” This is Nzalo ke, he will ask for
support for literally everything he does. Be it celebrating his
mother’s birthday, sleeping in her house,or just using herbs.
But does he know how to support another person? That’s a
story for another day.
.
.
.
XOLANI HADEBE

The truth always comes out; this is a saying he

underestimated. That night could’ve been different, he
could’ve acted like a man in a relationship. To him sexwith
Robyn means nothing. It’s just two horny people helping
each other and he stops thinking about it the minute he
cums. Robyn has never been a shadow thatcould make him
doubt his future with Zola. Even
between her legs, he knew that Nokuzola was the onlywoman
his heart wants. That’s what hurts him the mostabout this
situation. It would’ve been better if his relationship ended
because of something that exists.
Nokuzola doesn’t understand, in her eyes he cheated. Okay,
he did cheat because he slept with another woman. But that
was his dick, Robyn has never been inhis heart and she
knows that. Even without Nokuzola, she wouldn’t be an
option. He’s known her for a long
time and gotten intimate with her many times, but he’snever
seen any future or present with her.
“No phones on the dinner table,”
He lifts his eyes to Onathi. Another fucked uprelationship he
has.
“I’m waiting for a call,” he says.
“It’s been a whole day, she’s not going to call you back.We are
having dinner, put that phone away,” she’s justrepeating his
rules.
He goes off; “Where do you think you are? This is myhouse,
you’re not going to tell me what to do, okay?”
“No, you can’t make the rules and then break them.
Phone away, Xolani!” She’s really Phindile’s daughter.
He sighs and puts it away. Nokuzola is not taking his calls. It
hasn’t been a good day for him and the last thinghe wants to
do is reason with a teenager.
Onathi smiles when obeyed. “Don’t worry, you will find
someone else.”
“I’m not looking for someone else, I already have
someone. I just need to find a way to get her
forgiveness,” he says.
“I don’t think she’s a forgiving person.” She’s taken this
opportunity with both hands. Now her father can feel how
it’s like being apart with someone that you love.
“She is,” he says.
It sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself morethan
her.
“What’s so special about her?” Onathi asks.
“She’s a loving woman, she knows how to make someone
feel loved and appreciated. And for someonewho never had
any of that growing up, it’s something I want to hold on for
eternity.”
“Your parents didn’t love you?” For the first time she’scurious
about him.
It’s not a conversation he wanted to have right now butOnathi
might never be interested again.
“I believe they did, they just had more important priorities
and that created tension between us. Even
between Nzalo’s dad and I. I really have been alone mywhole
life. I have always felt that way until Nokuzola.”
“Your whole life? What about Phindile?” she asks, a bit
offended. It would be comforting to at least know that she
was made with love.
“We were young, I loved her, but that feeling never went
away. Our relationship was long distant for the most of it,”
he says.
“How do you know that you’re in love and not just
desperate to settle down with a younger, beautiful girl who
can give you babies so that you don’t die a lonely,old man?”
“Wow!” This question is really disappointing.“You
could be,” Onathi says.
“I’m not scared of being alone, I have been for the most of
my life. I love her, I’m at peace when I’m with her,” hesays.
“Clearly not, otherwise the aunty who was here wouldn’t
have gotten in the picture. Why are you playing with
food and not eating?”
This child wants to see him crumble.
“I don’t feel like eating,” he says and grabs his phone.
“Where do you think this food will go?” she asks.
As mad as he is, he laughs. What did he ever do to
deserve a daughter like this?
“You’re a menace!” He puts the phone away andrespects the
table rules until she’s done eating.
He won’t be able to sleep without talking to Zola. If needs to
be, she must punish him. He can’t survive a break-up, he
doesn’t see himself moving on without her.
“Finish your drink and dress up warmly,” he says.Onathi
frowns, “Why?”
“I can’t leave you here alone, I want to go and see
Nokuzola,” he says.
“Adding harassment on top of cheating!” she gets up
with her glass and leaves him dumbstruck.
Does this child think he’s her mate?
He’s not harassing Nokuzola, he wants to fix things. Who is
Onathi to speak on people’s relationships? Aninfant!
.
.
.
ZOLA

For the first time ever, Nale spent money on me. I had agood
excuse for sitting on this couch the whole day, sending her
around and getting everything I want. But Nzalo happened,
now she’s gone. Not that I expected
their relationship to stop because of me, I understand
they just made up and need time to be together. But I
didn’t need to be alone.
There’s a car across the street, Nzalo said I shouldn’t mind it
as it will be there the whole night. The MaMkhwanazi
situation is a bit exaggerated but I appreciate him looking
out for me. When the knock comes, I conclude it’s someone
from that car maybe here to ask for a glass of water. I open
the door and myeyes land on Xolani’s brat.
He’s behind her.
God, is this a test?
“Hi,” Onathi walks in without my permission.
This child and I don’t even hold conversations.I
look at him, “And then?”
“Can we talk, Nokuzola?”
“I thought we already did. Why are you here?” Seeing him
brings back the pain that Nale spent so much money trying
to numb. All the lies he told me, schemingwith Robyn via
phone calls to convince me that nothing
was going on, knowing very well they were still actively
involved.
“I won’t be able to sleep Nokuzola, let’s find a solutionplease,”
he says.
“What solution?” I don’t understand because he can’t
undo what he’s done.
“Punish me however you want. Scream at me, smash my
cars, beat me if you want, I won’t fight back. Just do
something, hurt me back,” he says.
“I will smash your cars and you will get them fixed
tomorrow. I will slap you and you will be fine in a fewminutes.
What will I get in return? You still won't understand the pain
you’ve put me through.”
“I do understand,” he says.
“What do you understand? Have you ever gotten your soul
naked for someone and talked about your insecurities over
and over again, only for that person to
turn around and dig on the same wound? Have you ever
loved someone and hated yourself for it?”
“I know you feel betrayed and hurt, I’m responsible for
that. I know I fucked up, I don’t deserve your love but I
need it,” he says.
“Ungilamaza kuyona le nhliziyo obheka kuyona uthando
Xolani? Kanjani?” I don’t understand, you cannot cut down a
tree if you still need its shade.
“Can you explain that to me?” I ask.
“I can’t, all I can say is that I will never make the same mistake
again.” He’s calling it a mistake and I don’t understand a
mistake that you properly plan and use liesto protect over and
over again.
“Excuse me….” Onathi says behind me.I
turn my eyes to her.
“Do you have a blanket? I’m cold,” she asks. “Don’t
worry, your father is now leaving,” I say.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 59
ZOLA

I have to call home and break the news. I don’t want to wait
until the Hadebes go there, they have to know that my
relationship has ended. My dad never really accepted Xolani,
age was the issue. I can’t call him, I have to go through my
mother. She’s easier to talk to, even though I hardly talk
about my personal relationships with them. It just goes to
show that you canall grow under the same roof, raised by the
same parents, but your experiences will never be the same.
Nale tells both of them about almost every boyfriend and
struggle she goes through. I don’t talk boyfriend stuff
with them, unless Nale spills the beans and I’m being
confronted.
She picks up, “My beloved daughter!”
“Hey mom,” I say.
“Are you okay? Your voice sounds rough.”
I take a deep breath, gathering my emotions. “I’m not
okay, Xolani and I broke up.”
“Today it’s you, a few days ago it was Nalenhle.” She’snot
taking this seriously.
“Mine is serious, he cheated on me.” I don’t even know if
that’s correct, Robyn has known him the longest, maybe it’s
me he cheated on her with.
“He has another girlfriend?” she asks.
“I don’t know if it’s a girlfriend but he confessed that he slept
with her. I’ve never been so confused in my life.” Itconfuses
me because he proposed to me, Robyn had been in the
picture for longer, and deep down in my heart I feel like he
does love me.
“Can someone who really love you cheat and lie to
you?” I ask.
“Men are complicated, my child. I don’t know what to say, I
don’t know him but seeing his love through you made me
believe in him. I trusted him, I’m truly disappointed.” This
makes the both of us, I also trustedhim.
“Please let dad know, the lobola negotiations arecanceled,” I
say.
“Isn’t that harsh? Have you thought this through?” Her
question surprises me.
We agreed that he disappointed us just a minutes ago.
“I thought about it, I can’t marry him,” I say.“You
don’t love him anymore?” he asks.
“I don’t know if I still do and I’m just angry. But this is where
I stand right now, just tell dad and apologize onmy behalf,” I
say.
“Okay, I will do that. So you’re alone there?”“Yeah
but I have security, I’m okay,” I say.
“Take it one step at a time and listen to your heart.”“Thanks
mom,” I feel a bit better after talking to her.
I go through my pictures, his face is all over my gallery. Itook
random pictures of him sleeping and eating. I was so in love, I
would have done anything for this man, I don’t know why he
undermined my feelings.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

The instructions say they must incise and put some black
powder and puke with warm water and herbs in
the morning. My 16 year old cousin doesn’t even close his
eyes when getting incised, a man must get strengthened.
But these two Thobile’s sons are looking at the razors like
they’ve never seen them before. Nzalokidnaps people day in
and day out but he’s scared of razors.
“I’m tired, it’s either you guys do this or tell your uncle
that he wasted his time and money.” I didn’t come hereto sit
on the couch the whole night.
“Msindisi you are starting, I will do it tomorrow,” Nzalosays.
“No!” Msindisi refuses.
“You have a problem, not me.”
That’s a bit harsh, he didn’t ask MaMkhwanazi to steal his
underwear and feed him sputum. But I get it, he’s affected
the most. He could’ve also killed a woman, he needs this the
most. I excuse myself when he takes his
shirt off. I have seen him without his shirt but we were atthe
beach, here it looks inappropriate.

I can’t believe I can hear Msindisi groaning from the

bedroom. They’re extra, there’s nothing scary about razors.
I’m happy to hear laughter here and there, thesetwo hardly
have any bonding moments. I appreciate anymoment, even
if they’re bonding over witchcraft.
I’m about to doze off when Nzalo walks in. He has hissleeves
up like he was slaughtering a goat or
something.
“Please don’t sleep, there’s a story I want to tell you,” hesays
taking his clothes off.
He’s going to the shower, I have to keep myself busy tobe
able to wait for the story. I’m not a coffee girl but I decide to
get a cup. I put on my robe and make my wayto the kitchen.
I’m boiling water, I hear footsteps coming and turn myhead.
Jeez, he’s still shirtless.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here,” he says.
“It’s fine, I’m just getting a cup of coffee.” I don’t know why
it feels inappropriate, maybe it’s because Nzalo ishere.
Otherwise him and I are very close.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Me? I should be asking you that.”
“I’m traumatized. Is my back still bleeding?” He turns
around for me to see.
Nzalo is heartless, these are some wide incisions. He
unnecessarily cut too deep. But I already know that
Thobile’s kids and razors don’t mix.
“No, you’re okay, you can put a shirt on,” I say.He
sighs with relief. “Can I have a cup too?” “Yeah,
sure.” I get the second cup ready.
I hear him walking away and jam to the music in my
head.
“Nalenhle,” his voice startles me.
Wasn’t he leaving?
I look at him. “I dance better when there’s actual music.”
He smiles, “You dance good either way. I just wanted to
compliment you, short hair really looks good on you.”
Ain’t he the sweetest?
“Thank you,” I say.
My hair is slowly growing back after shaving it off to
mourn for my mother. Maybe I should be a permanent
short hair girl since I’m getting compliments left, right and
center. I take his cup to him in his bedroom.
“Your coffee,” I yell at the door.
He opens the door in his shorts. “You didn’t have to, Iwould’ve
collected it, thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, have a goodnight,” I say.
“You too,” he gets back inside and closes the door.
I sit in the kitchen and drink mine. I don’t want to go up and
down, I finish and rinse the cup then go back to the
bedroom.

Nzalo is already in bed. Was I gone for that long?“I was

getting a cup of coffee,” I say.
“And you didn’t make any for me?”
“I made a cup for Msindisi, he asked. I didn’t think you’d
want it too.”
“He did what?” He sits up, wearing a frown on his face.“I
didn’t mind,” I’m not sure why he looks angry.
“I don’t want him to ask you to do things for him. He can
make his own coffee.”
Yoh! If I knew I wouldn’t have mentioned it. I get therobe
off and get in bed.
“Are you still going to tell me the juicy gossip you
promised?” I ask.
“I said it’s a story, not gossip.” He takes a deep breathand
lies down again.
I’m not going to say no when Msindisi asks me to do
simple things for him. He’s a nice guy, why not?
“What’s the story?” I ask.
The flame dies down; he smiles. “Do you know why I
refused to use that thing today?”
“You’re scared of razors,” I say.
“I miss having sex with you and I was told not to have sex
after having muthi incisions. If I don’t get you tonightI will
die.” This not the story I prepared my ears for.
He’s weird but I’m smiling. This is romantic as fuck. A man
postponing practicing witchcraft to have sex withyou? No,
I’m a lucky bitch.
“Uzongipha angithi namhlanje?” he asks.
I nod without a second thought. There’s something sexy
about how trained he is when it comes to self-control in
bed. We can share a bed for solid three days without him
trying anything. The only problem is that when he wants sex,
he wants SEX and he’s going to keep you awake the whole
night.
“Can I ask you a question?”He
nods, “Yes.”
“Do you see a future with me?”
“Yes, I do. Why are you asking?”
“I just want to know, a girl needs to be aware.”
“I love you and I want our relationship to blossom into
something beautiful. Once all the chaos is over you will
meet my mother’s family and I will meet yours.”
“In what way?” I ask.
“Maybe host dinner and invite both families,” he says.
“I’m from a village Nzalo, we don’t do boyfriend family
dinners. But I’m not saying scratch it out, my uncle might
agree.” It’s not a norm where I come from but I can never
say never.
“Ngiz’misele ngawe, kakhulu. It’s just our relationship is
juvenile. It’s like high school love and I like it that way.
Less pressure, more fun. I don’t want you to ever change,
ngik’thanda unje.” He plants a tender kiss onmy forehead.
I’m in love with this guy more than I realize.
“Let me lock the door,” he gets out of bed.
Closing it is not enough, he has to lock it. God protectme!
He gets butt naked before joining me in bed again.
“Can we get these panties off?” he asks.
I lie like a slaughtered chicken as he takes it off. He kisses my
tummy and comes up to my lips. We kiss for a
good minute. I know this is going to be a long, good and
tiring night.
He sits on his legs and pulls my legs to him. My bones just
remind me how important it is to exercise my body. He
lowers his face to my pelvic region. I don’t know whatI
expected but it was not this.
He eats my cookie up, I try to hold it in for the first few
minutes but as his tongue sweeps over my clit I let it out.I
scream his name and ask him to stop. Context;
continue and don’t stop. Then my mind switches off, my
body floats in the world of its own.
I snap back and I’m lying on my back. He’s on top of me
putting the condom on. I lift my leg, he settles and smoothly
slides in. His chest rests on me, our lips meet in a steamy kiss
before he slowly makes love to me.
There’s eye contact, random kisses, love confessionsand
gentle strokes.
“The way you feel…it drives me crazy.” His eyes are shut. His
strokes gets more deeper. My nails may havedug into his
skin deeper.
He half-opens his eyes. “I want to stay inside your
pussy, baby please.”
I know what he means, I know what’s coming, except
that he will stay inside the condom. His eyes turn back,his
jaw tightens and he fills the room with deep groans.
“Fuuuuuck!” he pulls out and kisses my forehead.We
will need to change the bed after this.
He takes out the condom and cleans both of us. But we are
not done, I probably still have five sealed rounds. Helies next
to me, turns my face to him and kisses me.
“That was really good, ngiyabonga. Now you’re going totake
charge, right? I can’t wait to see you bouncing on
top of me.” He pecks my lips and stares into my
uncertain eyes.
Take charge? When did I ever took charge of anything inlife?
Knock????
My eyes widen.
“Put something on and check,” I say.
“It’s obviously Msindisi,” he sighs and gets up.
He doesn’t put anything on, I’m embarrassed in
advance.
He slightly opens the door, I can hear them.“I’m
trying to get some sleep,” Msindisi.
“Sorry ntwana, put on some music.” Really, that’s hissolution?
I can’t believe I’m that loud girlfriend who annoys boyfriend’s
family at night. How am I going to look atMsindisi in the
morning?
“Is she okay?” Msindisi asks.
Did I sound like I was dying?
“She’s fine,” that’s Nzalo’s response before closing thedoor.
Can earth open up and swallow me?
“Do you see why I got my own place?” He pulls me out of
bed, onto his waist with my legs wrapped around him.It’s at
night, we are both naked and annoying. Why is hetaking me
outside the backdoor.
Garage really?
.
.
.
**AT THE THABETHES**

It’s early in the morning, Khululiwe planned to talk to her

husband last night but he looked tired. He’s woken up to
make breakfast so that she can keep in the bedroom forthis
conversation. Thami walks in, half dressed in his school
uniform. They have early classes in school preparing for the
final exams.
“There are people outside,” he says, looking a bitfreaked
out.
“What people?” Khululiwe opens the kitchen window to
have a look.
Before she even gets it open, a man screams on top ofhis
voice reciting the Thabethe clan names.
“They’re wearing suits,” Thami says.
“Call your father,” she says.
This is confusing. These people are announcing
themselves as oHadebe. It can’t be Zola’s boyfriend’s
people, she said they broke up and she was clear that this
lobola negotiation is cancelled.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 60
ZOLA

I’m getting ready for work, my phone rings.It’s

my mother, I answer.
“What’s going on?” -this is the first thing she asks.“With
what? Is everything okay?” I’m confused.
“I thought lobola negotiations were cancelled. How comethe
Hadebe delegate is here?”
Wait, hold on. What????
“Where are they?” I need to keep breathing.
“Outside, your father is asking me questions and I don’t
know what to say. Do we let them in?”
Xolani doesn’t see me. He has zero respect for me. I
broke up with him, that automatically cancelled the
negotiations.
“I didn’t agree to that, he didn’t say anything to me, we
broke up,” I say.
“Then what must I do? There are people outside, your
father is waiting for an answer.” She sounds frustrated, Idon’t
blame her.
“Can I call him first?” I ask.
“Yes, please get back to me immediately.” She ends thecall.
What a bad way to start my week!

I call him, it rings unanswered for a minute.

“Makoti,” he answers.
“Why do you keep disrespecting me, Xolani? It’s okaynot to
respect my feelings but taking it to my family is another
level.”
“I’m not disrespecting your family,” he says.
“You sent your people there unannounced, without even
informing me. Didn’t I tell you that I need a break?”
“It’s fine, you can take a break but I still need to honor your
father, ngifohlile esibayeni sakhe,” he says. This ishim trying to
use culture against me.
“I wasn’t pure when we met so there’s no need,” I say.
“To me you were pure. Let them discuss how families
compensate each other, this has nothing to do with us,”he
says.
“I don’t think my family cares.” He wasn’t my first, there’sno
need for him to pay for any damage.
“Mine does, I also care. Regardless of what's happening
between us, I still respect your parents for how well they
raised you. The hymen may have been broken but it’s not
what defines purity for me. Your character and manners
define it, so please allow me to pay my dues.”
There’s an incoming call, it’s my mom.
I drop Xolani and answer her. “I’m sorting it out.”“Your
father is waiting,” she says impatiently.
“I will call Khanyisa and ask that she stands in for me, Ican’t
come there, I’m going to work,” I say.
“Okay, hurry up.”
I can’t believe I’m in this mess. Khanyisa is the only girl
who’s in the village and closeby. I call her, it’s a last minute
request but I know she won’t let me down.
“Hello,” she answers.
“Hey, this is Zola. I need a huge favor from you.”
“What is it? I’m seeing a car outside your house.”
“That’s the reason I’m calling, can you please go thereand
acknowledge those people on my behalf?”
“Uyacelwa Zola?” She’s shocked.“It’s
complicated,” I say.
“I don’t know what to wear, let me check my wardrobeand
ask my mom to look after the baby.”
“Thank you so much, I owe your baby some goodies.” This is
not how I wanted my Monday to turn out. I’m noteven
doing this because I agree with Xolani, he
intentionally complicated a simple situation because he
wanted to have his way. I don’t want my dad to feel
disrespected, I could hear that he was putting pressureon
my mom for a decision.
I don’t know if I will be able to focus at work. My mind is
home, I’m wondering what’s happening. My mom hadn’t
prepared anything, I hope they at least have drinks to offer. I
will never forget this day in my life.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

I’ve been mad the whole morning, Nzalo promised that he

set the alarm. We both don’t know if the alarm rang and we
didn’t hear it, or it didn’t ring at all. I have missedwork, now I
have to pay for a doctor’s note and lie to MaKhoza. What’s
driving me crazy is that as soon as wewoke up, Nzalo made
calls to sort out his own work issues and then left. So he kept
me up all night and
failed to ensure that I wake up for work, then handled his
without a hustle.
I’m about to doze off on the couch, Msindisi comes witha
bottle of red wine and a glass. I love wine, he knows
that I prefer it over coffee and tea.
“I know you’re not having a good morning,” he says.
I sit up straight. “I’m okay, just a bit tired and annoyed.”“I
know. Must I pour?” He’s opening the bottle.
“Yes, please.” I don’t even know where he got it.
He pours a glass and then fetches a plate of hot wings and
chips. When did he put all this together? Wings andwine will
definitely put me in a good mood.
“You’re the sweetest person I know,” I say, tearing thefirst
wing apart.

He sits down and turns on the TV, keeping the volumelow.

“Are you okay?” he asks.
It’s funny how he always asks this whereas he’s the onefacing
challenges at the moment.
“I’m good,” I say.
“I was worried about you last night.”
Can’t we pretend like it never happened? I’m
embarrassed.
He looks at me and chuckles. “Do you know what
everyone says?”
“No, I don’t,” I say.
“Immediately after they meet you they just say you would’ve
been perfect for me. Why do you think they saythat?”
MaMkhwanazi said that, she’s the only one I remember.Isn't
she delusional?
“Because we are almost the same age,” I say.
“It’s strange but I get it. Dating is so much easier when you
have similar social experiences and understanding of life.
Next time I’m having a girlfriend it will definitely besomeone
of my age. I find it easy to talk to you and relate to you than I
do with anyone.”
It feels like I’m chewing soap right now. This conversation
makes me uncomfortable. I know him and Iare cool, maybe
he thinks if we listened to what people say we would be a
good couple. But in reality, I’m a lot
to handle. Nzalo is perfect for me, even though sometimes I
hate his hard head. He can handle me.
“I want to be in love, I want to be loved,” he says.
“You are young, handsome and kind. Obviously you’regoing to
find someone once you start looking,” I say.
“I don’t know if there will ever be a girl who understands
me.” He leans back on the couch and sighs heavily.
“If I can find someone who understands me, trust me you
can do it too.” I’m the most complicated person onthe
planet but I found Nzalo. There’s always someonefor
everyone.
“I hope so,” he says.
I finish eating, he takes the plate to the kitchen and refills my
glass. We are watching a boring movie, I don’teven know the
title.
.
.
.
I think the wine drained me, I wake up to Nzalo hoveringover
me. He’s back from work, the TV is playing, there’sa bottle of
wine on the floor and Msindisi on the other couch. He
doesn’t say anything, he gives me his hand and pulls me to
the bedroom. We fought before he left but now I feel better.
“I thought you will be back late,” I say.
“Mmmm.” He closes the door after us and unbuttons his
shirt.
“We have to talk about your drinking habits Nalenhle,”he
says.
“My drinking habits?” I’m confused.
Is he my uncle? And what drinking habits do I havebecause I
only drink when there’s alcohol.
“I don’t like the situation I just walk in to,” he says.
“Ok, I’m sorry.” I don’t want to fight again, I just want himto
cuddle me.
I can see the immediate apology ruffles his feathers, he still
wants to rant. I was drinking before him and he knewit, I
don’t know why it’s a problem now.
“Msindisi is going through a lot, sympathize with him but
don’t baby him. I don’t know when he started drinking.” His
tone carries subtle accusations.
“I didn’t tell Msindisi to drink, he bought that wine
himself,” I say.
“I’m not saying you did, I’m just asking you to remember
what you are in this family. You’re my girlfriend, not the
family girlfriend. That’s why I asked you not to make anyone
coffee and run errands that have nothing to do with you and
I.” Basically he wants me to pull back fromMsindisi at his
vulnerable moments and I don’t understand why.
“I hear you. Is there anything else?"“I
want to kiss you,” he says.
I got tipsy and fell asleep, I go to the bathroom and rinsewith
mouthwash. Sometimes I’m too soft and submissive. I come
back to him sitting on the bed,
there’s a hard look on his face. I don’t know if I’m stilltipsy or
what, I don’t see why he’s in his feelings.
“Sit on my lap,” he says.
I do as told, he locks a hard stare on me.“What’s
wrong?” I ask.
“I came back early because I wanted to at least spend half
of the day with you. But you just ruined it, I’m sad,”he says.
“I’m sorry I made you sad. Can I kiss you?”
“Yeah,” he wraps his arm around my waist.
I kiss him until his eyes soften. This is nothing but a bigbaby
mood.
“Have you spoken to Zola?” he asks.
“No, she’s at work,” I say.
“Mmmm, okay.” It sounds like there’s a reason behind him
asking that question but he won’t say it. “All I couldthink of
today was you, I hate it when we are not okay.”
“We are okay now,” I say.
“Do you promise not to insult me again?” “Yeah,
and I’m sorry, I was just frustrated.”“Kiss?”
I smile and kiss him again.
.
.
.
ZOLA

They counted the cows, my mom said.

It’s not what Xolani said his people were going to do.
Once again I feel betrayed and lied to. I don’t know why he’s
so consistent in undermining my feelings. My heart is heavy,
I’ve been holding back tears the whole day. It’s finally time to
go home, I have never been in such a rush to get home
before. I just want to cry as much as I can.
I stand, waiting for a taxi.
A black SUV pulls up and I just know it’s either him or one of
his errand boys. The door opens, it’s him in flesh,wearing a
formal suit with a bouquet of roses in his
hand. I’m not in the mood to be the center of attention, I
need a taxi back seat next to the window, not this.
“Please don’t cry,” he wraps his arm around myshoulders,
hiding my face on his chest.
He takes me to the car, I’d love to resist but I’d be subjected
to more stares and whispers. I cry openly once he closes the
door. It’s not even about cheating anymore, but the
constant disrespect he gives me. My
feelings are not valued. My opinions don’t matter to him.
I don’t know how Nale picked this up, she told me fromthe
beginning that he’s controlling me and I defended him.
“It breaks my heart when you’re crying like this. Every
relationship has its tests and challenges, I have learnedmy
lesson, something like this will never happen again.”
“How did you learn your lesson Xolani? You are not even
taking accountability. You said your people went tomy father
to pay respect and they counted cows for lobola there. How
can you do that without my permission?”
“Right now what is making you cry. The cows they
counted or the situation we already had?”
“The disrespect Xolani. If you treat me like this now, howwill
our marriage look like? You will be doing as you please and
having your way, disregarding my feelings?”
“In my life right now nobody is important more than you.I’m
sorry you think I’m out to hurt you, I’d never do that
intentionally,” he says.
“Then what do you call what you’re doing?”
“Ngakha umuzi wami, I’m going to make mistakes alongthe
way. All I’m asking is that you lend me more
patience, there’s a space for me to grow.”
Grow???
I’m lost for words right now.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 61 (sponsored)
NALENHLE

I’m a bad cousin, aunt, future daughter-in-law and

roommate. I’m horrible to Zola from every angle of our
multi-defined relationship. I planned to come back
yesterday but Nzalo was needy. We work for different
lines, I didn’t see her at work. But she was at work andshe
took a taxi home. I’m a few minutes behind her.
I walk in to her washing pots in the kitchen. The wholeZola
committing to domestic work on a Tuesday afternoon!
“I bought you fruits,” I say.I
bought them out of guilt.
“Thanks,” her voice sounds hoarse, like all she’s beendoing for
the past two days is crying. At this point sheneeds alcohol.
“How are you doing?” I pull the chair and sit.
“I’m good,” she’s lying through her teeth.
“Have you guys spoken ever since?” I ask.
She sighs, “A lot has happened, Nale. I don’t even knowwhere
to start. Maybe by telling you that lobola
negotiations started.”
“What? Without me?” I can’t believe this.
“I wasn’t there, neither was I informed. My mom called
when she saw people below the yard reciting our clan
names,” she says.
I can’t say I’m surprised, she didn’t teach him to take herno’s.
“I hope you told aunt to chase them away with a bucketof
pee.”
“I was going to but Xolani said he only wanted to respectmy
father because he’s slept with me anyway,” she says.
“But you weren’t a virgin mos.”
“He said I was pure to him and insisted on me allowinghim
to pay his dues. And guess what?”
“You said yes.” I know Zola, I have known her my wholelife.
“Yeah, and they negotiated lobola and took a list of myfather’s
demands,” she says.
I hope she’s aware of what this means. There’s no
break-up because how can you plan narriage with
someone you’re broken up with.
“Have you said anything at home?” I ask.
“No, I could’ve prevented this from the beginning, I don’t
want to bother them,” she says.
“So you’re now officially engaged to a man who cheatedon
you before you even heal?” I can’t believe this. I knew Mr X
took advantage of her love but this time I
thought he’d reflect and let her heal, on a pace that she
wants.
“I am,” she says with a heavy sigh.
“That’s fucked, I need to have a conversation with him.”
Someone needs to.put Mr X in his place. I know Zola won’t,
she doesn’t know how to punish that man. And heknows that
she has a soft spot for him. Is it even a soft spot? I think it’s a
whole soft yard.
“He knows you don’t like him, I don’t think he will agreeto
see you,” she says.
“I know, that’s why you’re going to invite him for dinnerand
send him location, then I will show up instead,” I say.
“Hhaaa!” She’s angry at him but doesn’t want me tohave a
chat with him.
Make this make sense!“I
will be nice,” I say.
“Okay,” she takes a deep breath and reaches for herphone.
I have an internal memory card full of insults I haven’t
used this year.
She sends a message, he calls her immediately. Zola isnot a
good actress but she tries. He keeps asking if she’s sure, he
already suspects something.
Mr X is Nzalo’s uncle, I would’ve respected him if he didn’t
get involved with my cousin and became a baddaddy.
.
.
.
**AT THE THABETHES**

Khululiwe has not gotten a chance to sit down her husband

and tell him about what’s really going on in
their daughter’s life. He just got back from the council
meeting, she serves him a warm plate of food and lemon
juice. Then she sits on the chair opposite him.
Thabethe knows his wife, he can see that she wants tosay
something. “Khuluma Mam’ Thabethe,” he says.
Khululiwe takes a deep breath. “I was on a call with
Nokuzola earlier and she’s not happy at all.”
“Why is she not happy?” he asks.
“Umkhwenyana wasn’t in agreement with her about
yesterday. It was damage control, she has broken up with
him. Apparently he slept with another woman, youknow
how your daughter is ke,” she says.
“Mmmm, no comment. Your potatoes look good.” Hepicks
the spoon and digs in.
This is not the reaction Khululiwe expected.
“You’re not going to say anything Thabethe?” she asks.
“What do you want me to say? I said everything there was
to say, you told me to mind my own business and said an
older man is better for her. I didn’t know what Iwas talking
about, right?”
She drops her eyes, this man can really hold a grudge.“I
don’t think Nokuzola knows how to deal with things like
this. Maybe you should call her.”
“I’m not getting involved Khululiwe, this is a relationship you
advocated for and even granted them permission tostay
together against my word. Now she’s heartbroken, as I said
she would be, fix it.” He shifts his focus back tohis plate. His
wife’s cooking remains the best.
Khululiwe sighs and gets off the chair. “I will collect my
washing from the line.”
Thabethe can be difficult for no reason. Why is he blaming her
for something she didn’t see coming? Allshe’s ever wanted
was for her daughter to be happy.

Thami is making his way home, coming from a soccer

practice. He sees his mother on the washing line and turns
to her. There’s something important he wants totalk to
her about.
“Ma,” he stands behind her.
Khululiwe turns, “When do you plan to study? Thissoccer
thing needs to end.”
“It was the last day. Can I ask you a favor?”
“Go ahead, you will ask anyway. I hope it’s not about
money because you know that I was owing stokvel this
month,” she says.
“I only need R150, please,” he says.
“R150? Imali engaka, what do you need it for?”
“It’s my girlfriend’s birthday, I want to buy her a gift.”She
almost drops the basket. A girl- what?
“You have a girlfriend?” She’s shocked. “Ummmm,
yeah.” He’s had one since Grade 10.
Khululiwe picks the basket and rushes to his father. He has
to know that Zola is not close to being child bringingthem
relationship headache. This one here will shock him.
“Thabethe, you won’t believe this!” she walks in.
Thami is behind her, confused. This is not the drama he
expected.
Thabethe looks up, “Don’t tell me they lost again.”
“No Thabethe, he’s dating,” Khululiwe says.
A smile pulls from the corners of his lips. “How is she?”he
asks.
Thami shrugs, “She’s okay.”
Khululiwe looks at her husband gobsmacked. So heknew
about this all this time!
“I just need a little financial help, her birthday is coming
up,” Thami says.
“Oh, no problem. I will give it to you in the morning, youwill
pay me back when you start working.” He looks happy to
hear his teenage son talking about his girlfriend. This energy
is never given to Zola, at her big age.
“Don’t worry baba, I will add interest,” Thami smiles andwalks
out, looking happy and relieved.
“Really Thabethe? You’re angry that I supported Nokuzola’s
relationship while you are sponsoring anunderage
relationship.” She’s in disbelief.
Thabethe smiles, “Thamsanqa is the future of the
Thabethes. At least we know he will bring us a wife oneday
and give us grandkids.”
.
.
.

NALENHLE

I got here first, got us a table and ordered myself a cocktail.

It’s almost finished, I don’t know if he’s late orI’m drinking
too fast. I’m looking at the menu again, maybe I can get
something light while waiting.
I lift my eyes to look for the waiter, there he is. He’s walking
in, searching for Zola with his eyes. I raise my
hand, his eyes land on me. There’s a slight frown on his face
as he makes his way to me. I have table manners, Iget up and
pull the chair for him.
“Where is Nokuzola?” he asks.
“Home, it’s me you’re having dinner with.” I know hewishes
he could’ve stayed home but fikile-fikile.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I’m being nice as I
promised.
“No, thank you.” He has trust issues.
I order one more for myself and shift my focus back tohim.
Let me take him out of his misery.
“I knew you wouldn’t come if you knew it was me who
wanted to meet up, so I asked Zola to text you instead,”I
say.
“I already know what you want to say, Nalenhle. You have
waited your whole life for a chance to insult me tomy face,
not behind my back like you always do.” He
thinks he’s ready, but trust me he’s not.
“Zola expected more from you, I didn’t.” I’m bored, I
studied his character and noticed everything that Zola
overlooked. “You are old…”
“Nzalo will be 40 when you’re 31, but go off!”
“I wasn’t age shaming you.” I definitely was, my situationwith
Nzalo is different though. “I’m mentioning the obvious.
You’re old, you have multiple businesses that you run and
you’ve never been married. I have always known that
uwukhandalimtshel’okwakhe.”
“Is it?” He chuckles.
“Yeah, that’s why you were lonely before her. Your peers
couldn’t stand you, so you went for someone much younger.”
I doubt he would’ve pulled these stunts on Robyn.
“That’s not true but continue,” he says.
I can see that I’m starting to get on his nerves.
“You’re a manipulator and abuser,” I specify.
“I have never abused Nokuzola,” he says.
“Yes, you did. You’re a child abuser, I don’t care how many
gifts and money you give her. You just hide your
true character by being romantic. With all the money you
have, you’re still the worst boyfriend Zola has ever had.
Sandile was better than you.” I picked that name frommy
head. I don’t remember Zola’s few ex-boyfriends’ names.
“Is this what you called me here for?” He’s mad. “Nope. I
wanted to tell you that I’m going home this
coming weekend and I will be having a meeting with my
uncle, telling him everything about you. You’re not having
your way this time, go back to your side-chick. I don’t even
know if she’s a side-chick or side-hen at thatage.” I need to
take it easy on the cocktails, I don’t wantto get drunk two
days in a row.
“What is your problem with me, Nalenhle? I know this isjust
a chance you are using to ruin my relationship, which is
something you’ve always wanted. My age is
just an excuse, what is the real reason behind your
hatred?”
“I don’t hate you, I hate the things you do to Zola. You’re
right, I will destroy your relationship and the good thing is
that Zola won’t hate me for it this time. I want you to
forever be an old, lonely man that scams people’smoney
with a casino.”
“What will you achieve from that?” he asks.
“Joy. I will be happy to see my cousin with someone who
respects her and stays loyal to her. Not you, you’re a
deceitful senior citizen that takes advantage,” I say.
He’s silent for a minute. I’ve been nice, I didn't insult himin
any way.
“I love Nokuzola, whether you like that and believe it ornot.
I’m not going to back off, I will build our future and make sure
that our baby arrives to a healthy home.”
“What baby?” I’m confused.
Are they adopting?
“I have to go. Did you forget anything?”
“Yes,” I say.
He raises his eyebrow.
“We will pay you back all the money you’ve spent on her.
Zola is not your charity case, go and find someoneto be a
blesser to. Daddy with no sugar!” He’s not evenall that, I
know good-looking men who make it to magazine covers.
Where has his face ever appeared? Local newspapers.
My phone beeps. It’s YouTube Music taking the last R50that I
had.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 62
ZOLA

I just got off a ten minutes long phone call with him. No, I
wasn’t receiving an apology, he was venting about his own
dissatisfaction. I knew Nale was going to disrespect him, she
wasn’t going to let this chance pass her by. So with that, I
have allowed my cousin to disrespect him publicly. I
shouldn’t have involved a third part in our business, his
relationship with Nale has never been good because I don’t
set boundaries.

I cannot count how many times Nale and I have had

disagreements because of me. His expectations of me are
obviously getting higher and higher. I have receiveda lot from
him, physically and financially. But in return
I’ve had to co-exist with his past, doubt myself as a woman,
accept his past as it fully took over his life, put up with a
rude daughter, be cheated on and disrespected over and
over again. And this is the sameman who vowed to move
mountains for me. It looks likehe’s the mountain now, I’m
going to need him to move.
Nale walks in, swaying her hips unbothered.
“What did you? I had a ten minutes long telephone caseover
you,” I ask.
She frowns, “With who?”
“Xolani,” I say.
“I didn’t say anything he doesn’t know, if he’s offended maybe
it’s because nobody is ever brave enough to tellhim the truth.”
Nale will never say she’s wrong anyway,but on this one I really
don’t care, he deserved it.
She unhooks her side bag and sits. “I almost washed
dishes, I didn’t have money to pay for my bill. I had to call
Nzalo and ask for help. Imagine!”
It’s been what? Almost half a year, but Nale hasn’t embraced
the type of person Nzalo is. He is nothing close to what his
uncle is like, probably the best thing she should thank God
for. At least Nzalo is genuine, he is who he says he is. When
they fight, he sits down and reflects. He doesn’t manipulate
his way around the truth.
“We have to talk, beloved niece,” she says.
I don’t know when and how she switches her roles. I’m never
warned, I just hear it from her when I’m the cousinand when
I’m a niece.
“Did you use condom with Mr X?”I
didn’t expect such question. “Yeah,
most of the times,” I say.
“Most? What happened some other times?” She’s really
stressing me with this question.
“I thought I was the only one, so I let him feel flesh now and
then. I didn’t want to bore him, you know how men are.”
Gosh, I sound so stupid.
“Did you clean out the little bustards in the morning?”
That isn’t worded nicely. “Morning after pills?”
“Yes,” she nods.
“I didn’t and nothing has happened.” It wasn’t everyday, I
know that sounds dumb biologically, but religiously my
faith was too strong.
“He believes that you’re pregnant. He said he went home to
discuss lobola because he’s building his familyand wants the
baby to arrive to a proper home.”
My hand drops to my tummy; I’m flat as Nale’s bankaccount.
Is Xolani mad? Why would he assume something like that?
And not talk to me about it first.
“He didn’t accept any of his mistakes, he has a reasonfor
everything,” she says.
“I’m not surprised. Did you ask him why he thinks I’m
pregnant?” I’m worried.
“Obviously because you’ve been letting hit it raw. What ifhe’s
HIV positive?” Typical Nale, everything has to be dramatic
now.
“I know his status. I just don’t know mine, pregnancy-
wise,” I say.
“You better pray this pregnancy test comes back negative.”
She pulls it out of her bag unexpectedly.
“You bought a pregnancy test?” I’m shocked.
It feels like everyone knows what’s happening with mylife
except me. I’m not in charge, everyone is. I’m an extra in my
own movie.
“We have to know, if you’re pregnant your whole life
changes. When were your last periods?” She passes thewhite
tube to me. I’ve never been freaked by something so little.
Oh, my periods. “Last
month,” I say. “Last
month, when?”
“On my usual date.” Can she stop interrogating me?Nale
is nobody’s nurse.
“I’m not taking a pregnancy test,” I say. “Why
not? The sooner we know, the better.”
“I’m scared.” I had unprotected sex, not once, not twice. But
a bunch of times, it just didn’t feel like that because it
wasn’t straight up unprotected sex, it would one round as a
treat within a night.
“Trust me, the sooner we know, the better. But if you want,
we’ll both take tests.” She pulls another one andstands up.
There’s no need for her to take one, it’s just moral support.
We take turns in the bathroom, this is the scariest test I’ve
ever had to take. I take a walk in the passage to ease the
nerves, Nale is glaring at the testsimpatiently.
My phone rings, this is not the name I want to see right
now. My dad!
“Hello baba,” I answer.
“Are you well?” he asks.
“Yes,” I’m evidently shaken.
“Come home tomorrow, Nzuza will fetch you.”
“Nzuza with his old bakkie? No, I will take taxis.”“I
have already paid him,” he says.
“Okay,” I know he won’t change his mind. “Can I askwhat it’s
about?”
“I haven’t seen you since you sent Khanyisa to accept a
proposal on your behalf. That’s not how things are done, we
need to talk,” he says.
“Oh, okay.” This just scares me.
My dad wouldn’t just hire Nzuza’s rusty bakkie for nothing. I
could call my mom to find out but Nale islooking at me some
type of way.
“Has it shown?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says.
I walk over, my hands are trembling. I pick mine up andrecite a
silent prayer before looking at it.
Jesus Christ!
.
.
.
XOLANI HADEBE

Nzalo called him over because Msindisi refuses to usethe

concoction that was given by a healer. It’s the onlything
that can help him with his manhood problems buthe’s
“turned off” by how it smells. Msindisi is not a kid, he
doesn’t need to deal with this childishness on top of
everything that’s happening in his life right now.
“This thing smells like dead rat, we have to find other
alternatives,” Msindisi complains.
Nzalo looks at their uncle- this is exactly what he was
talking about.
“I spent R950 on this bottle,” Xolani says.“I
will refund you,” Msindisi.
“And then never get involved with a girl again? Look mfana, I
know you’ve been living under Phindile’s skirtbut now it’s
time to wake up. We are all men here,
there’s no woman, Nokuzola has also left me and Nzalo’s
girlfriend has loose screws in her head, nobodyhas time to
coddle you.”
Nzalo sighs, mockingly. Why is he catching straybullets?
“Just think of the girl of your dreams, someone you have a
huge crush on, and then tell yourself that you’re doing this
for her,” he says.
Msindisi takes a deep breath, staring into space for a
second. He can only think of one person. He grimaces
as he pours the bitter concoction in in a glass, takingone
large gulp.
“Wasting time like you’re not the one who needs help,”
Xolani mumbles as he turns to the fridge looking for
something to drink. Msindisi walks away, this was a dramatic
morning because of him but the last thing he wants is
annoying people. MaMkhwanazi treated him like a baby,
he’s used to that life of demanding and complaining.
Somehow he has to adjust because he’s agrown up, Nzalo
has his own life and so does Xolani whom he’s not even close
with.
He lies on his back, unlocking his phone and goingthrough
his Whatsapp. There’s a message from a number he doesn’t
know. When he opens it’s just a
picture of white lilies. What do they stand for and who is
this?
Google says they symbolize purity and rebirth. These
flowers can be for weddings and funerals. Which one dothey
represent at this specific moment? His enquiring
text only ticks one, clearly the person who sent this haslogged
out. Nothing is ever nothing in his life, that has been proven a
number of times. He cannot relax until
this person explains why the white lilies and who is he orshe.
.
.
.
Xolani is driving home, all he’s thinking about is how fasthis
life turned upside down. This time he has nobody to blame,
he could’ve stopped his sexual adventures with Robyn a long
time ago. That fling didn’t benefit him with anything. There’s
nothing that Robyn offered him that hewasn’t getting from
Zola. He could’ve prioritized what was important but he
failed.
He parks outside to collect himself before walking in tohis
daughter. He wants to call Winnie and arrange thatshe
makes time to visit Onathi. She’s been well behaved, his
house is no longer filled with tension andangry screams. It
would’ve been worth a celebration ifZola was going to be
there as well.
Speaking about Zola, “my wife” flashes on the screen as his
phone rings. They spoke yesterday and their conversation
didn’t end well.
“Hello,” he answers.
It’s not how he usually answer her calls but she couldcare
less.
“Xolani, why did you say I’m pregnant to Nale?”“I
didn’t say that,” he calmly says.
“You did, Nale NEVER lies. I just wanna tell you this, I’mnot
having your baby. You’re not going to control what happens
with my body,” she says.
“I don’t want to fight. I didn’t say it’s something that has
already happened, I was speaking in future tense. It’s not
something I haven’t talked to you about.” He’s
always told her that he wants them to have a family. His
intentions were clear from the first day.
“I’m talking in present tense, I’m not having a baby,” Zolasays.
“What do you mean?” He’s confused.
“I took a pregnancy test after you made an announcement in
a restaurant. This is not what weagreed on and I will be
terminating the baby.”
No.
Zola is just fooling around.
“You’re pregnant?” he asks.
“It will be “was” on Thursday, I have already made a booking
to have the thing removed. What do you think I am, Xolani?
An object you can use to make your dreamscome true,
something with no feelings and right to makeits own
decisions?”
“Can we talk? Where are you right now?” He knows thatshe’s
frustrated because he hasn’t been the best partnerthis week.
He’s done many things that made her angry, in attempt to
save their marriage. None of it was malicious or intended on
destroying her.
“I’m on my way home,” Zola says.
“Home?” It feels like his head is spinning around.
This is the first time he’s ever received such news in 43years of
his life.
“Yes, I’m going to my parents. I just wanted to let you know, I
will send you the address on Thursday and you
can go and collect the blood for burial.” Zola is not cruel but
hearing her say these words make him wonder if he hasn’t
been sleeping with the devil.
“Bye Xolani,” she drops the call.
His hands tremble as he tries calling her back. She
doesn’t answer his calls. After the 35th attempt he
throws in the towel. Hot wave flushes down his face,
there’s physical pain on his chest like he’s about to havea
heart attack. His lungs close off, he’s struggling to breathe.
Onathi bangs the window, asking him to roll it down. It’s not
like him to sit in the car for so long. The doors unlock, Onathi
opens the driver’s door and sees her dadin a shocking state.
“You’re trembling, are you okay?” She can see hishands
trembling.
No response.
“Dad!”
“I’m…I’m fine, Onathi.”
“Do I need to call the police?”
“I’m fine. I just had…no, I’m fine.” This used to happenwhen
he was a little boy and scared. Why would Zola take him
back there?
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 63
ZOLA
Life in the village is harmonious and simple. That’s until
something scandalous happens, then everyone will be in
people’s business like they get paid for it. Tell me why
MaDladla needs one cup of sugar today out of all days.
Fine, she’s gotten it. Now tell me why she’s not leaving but
looking at me instead. She’s seen me before, there’snothing
new on my face.
“I saw you arriving in Nzuza’s bakkie, did your car break
down?” she asks.
This is probably the latest tea, she was just the only one
brave enough to come and ask.
“No,” I say.
“Oh, what happened to it?”
My mom clears her throat, “You can go, MaDladla.”
“I was just asking, makhi. Hopefully your car gets fixed soon,
we have been bragging to our friends that our neighbor’s
daughter bought a car.” She smiles, satisfiedto the core of
her gossip-collecting being.
My mom sighs. “You will be subjected to a lot ofgossips.”
“I don’t care,” I say.
Gossip cannot break me. I won’t be the first girl to havea
failed relationship and I won’t be the last. Xolani didn’ttake
the car, I returned it back myself, but I’m not going to
explain myself to people.
I haven’t seen my dad but from his wife’s update, he’s mad
at me. He’s not a greedy person, I don’t remember him
putting me under pressure to get a husband, not even once.
If it was up to him, I don’t even think he’d letme have a
husband unless he chooses him for me. So I’m confused why
he’d be mad at me for breaking up with Xolani.
My mom looks at me gobbling down a four sliced
sandwich. “Are you pregnant?”
“No,” I say.
“Good,” she sighs with relief.
I’m not really pregnant, the test showed me one line. But
Xolani is under the impression that he made me pregnant, so
I used that to give him a pinch of heartache. I know he’s
losing his mind wherever he is, I have over 50 missed calls
from him.
“Are you using contraceptives?” mom asks.I’m
too grown for this conversation.
“Not currently but I know my days,” I say.
“So people who use contraceptives don’t know their days?
Zola, you need to start making better decisions when it comes
to your love life.” Here comes a lecture!
She goes on for almost ten minutes coaching me about life
and relationship. I’m not really listening and taking in
anything she says.
“Your brother has a girlfriend,” she says.
Now this is the kind of conversations I’m interested in. Ilook
up immediately.
“How old is she?” I’m not that surprised, he’s a teenager.
“I don’t even care, your dad has been giving him moneyto
go and spoil her. Can you believe it?”
“Believe what?” says the voice at the door.
I stand up as he walks in, looking at my mom curiously.
“Oh, the conversation ends because I’m walking in,” he
chuckles. He knows that we were gossiping about him.
“Hello,” he says.
“Hi,” I’m a bit scared because I don’t know why I’m here.
“Can I make you something to eat?” mom asks.
“Not yet, I will have a chat with your princess first.”
My heart starts racing. But he’s my dad, what worse could
happen? I finish my drink and then follow him to
the sitting room. He’s coming from the grazing field withhis
sheep.
.
.
.
I sit, he’s fixing his old wrist watch for a minute, notattending
to me.
Then he looks up. “How is it going?”
“I’m good,” I say.
“You had a good ride home?”
I roll my eyes, “A bakkie, Thabethe?”He
chuckles.
He’s actually not mad as I thought.
“Your mom told me that you’re not in a good space,
following the visit from the Hadebes. She says you didn’twant
them here. Is that true?”
I nod, “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you say so? Why give the green light to create
a relationship between the two families knowingvery well
that you no longer see a future there?”
I know this sounds stupid but I was blindsided. “Xolanisaid
he just wants to honor you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what he did. That’s how men
from my generation act. You’re in your 20s and seeing
someone with a different mindset from you. Howis that
going to work?”
“But he cheated, dad. I’m sure that has never been right
from any generation,” I say.
“Yes, but he re-wrote his wrongs by making a choice and
that choice was him choosing you the right way,” hesays.
“Are you defending him?” I’m in disbelief right now.“The
problem with you is that you don’t listen to
understand. You’re my child, I know you. I knew that you
weren’t going to handle everything that comes with being
with a man old like me. You’ve seen your mother
threatening to leave me and you still think you can
handle being with someone of my age.”
“But that’s not the same. You don’t cheat and there’s a
status difference.” I don’t mean this offensively, it’s justtwo
different situations.
“Okay, clearly there’s nothing I’m going to say that you’re
not going to argue. What’s the way forward?”
“In relation to what?” I ask.
“Your relationship. Do I consider you taken or not?”“Not
taken,” I say.
“Alright,” he says.
I cannot tell his emotions right now. I can’t even tellwhether
he’s supporting me or not in this situation.
“I don’t want you to ever make such a terrible decision, as
soon as you know what you want communicate your
feelings. Don’t make us proceed with something you no
longer want, even if it’s the last second,” he says.
“I apologize for that.” I guess I could’ve just said no
regardless of how Xolani explained it.
I leave to tell mom that she can prepare his food. I’m
feeling relieved and happy that this has been cleared at
home.
Xolani can call me with different office numbers, at this
point I don’t care about his feelings. I will let him suffer
until Thursday.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I’m not usually lazy to cook but today I am. I want

McDonald’s double cheese burger and I have a man who
asked me to date him unprovoked. I have learnedthat he
only offers if he’s being asked, so I send a textasking him to
bring me some food. Zola went home, probably to talk
about what is happening between her and Mr X. I know my
uncle, he won’t force her to go ahead with the
relationship.
But I won’t lie, I miss Mr X’s car and random food deliveries.
They don’t make them like him anymore.
Wait, does this mean we have to pay our own rent this
month? I have a Shein cart to clear. Jesus Christ, we aregoing
back to poverty!

I take a bath, Nzalo arrives as I’m dressing up. He waits for

me in the kitchen, busy on his phone. I pop out my cleavage
and wear a shorter skirt to tempt him into staying. I don’t
want to sleep alone with that dark man outside watching
over me throughout the night. It’s crazyhow life just got
complicated.
“Hey babe,” I kiss his cheek.
There’s something about a man in a black poloneck and
jeans. It’s giving “good in bed” vibes, especially when he tops
it off with smelling good.
“Nale, we need to talk,” he says.
“Now? Before I eat both this burger and you?” God, I
need to up my flirting skills.
He laughs, “I’m serious, there’s something I don’t like.”
Hopefully my appetite survives this. “What is it?”
“I talked to my uncle,” he says.
I already know where this is going.
“That’s my father’s brother, Nalenhle. If our dreams come
true he will be the grandfather of your kids. I don’t
understand why you disrespect him.”
“Okay. Did he tell you what he did?” Let’s just start there.
“Who he sleeps with is none of your business. It’s very
disrespectful for you to summon my uncle into a restaurant
meeting and publicly disrespect him. I don’tcare what he did,
even I have never done that.”
“What do you mean it’s none of my business while he’shurting
my cousin?” Ey, this guy mustn’t piss me off.
“Let Zola handle it. Have you ever seen Zola disrespecting
me because of what’s happening in ourrelationship? No,
she always listens to both sides andstays neutral,” he says.
“I’m not Zola,” I say.
“That’s very clear, trust me. But I mean it, don’t ever
disrespect my uncle again. When you and I got togetheryou
already knew that he was my uncle and seeing
Zola. There’s no need for you to treat him like that, he’s
my family. I will never disrespect nobody from yourfamily,
even a family cat.” He’s very serious.
I don’t know if Mr X sent him or this is coming from his head.
I’m disappointed in him. This just shows that he’son Mr X’s
side.
We shouldn’t have dated uncle and nephew, it’s a recipeof
drama and disaster.
“You can eat, that’s all I wanted to get off my chest,” hesays.
“No, I’m good, I don’t need your food.” I’m not eating his
food, bought with the Hadebe money after him and his
uncle had a reunion meeting to discuss me.
“Okay then,” he pulls the take-away bag and opens it.
What the hell is he doing? He tears the ketchup sachetand
sprinkles it over my chips and eats them. I watch him finish
my burger in three minutes and manage to keep a straight
face. This pisses me off, I said I don’t need his food, I didn’t
say I’m not going to eat it.
He stands up and drinks water from the sink. It’s official,I
hate him.
“I’m going get Msindisi shisanyama take-away. You takecare
of yourself and not remove anything from your door. Okay?”
I don’t respond to stupid people, that’s just how I am.
“I love you, don’t forget that my uncle is off limits,” hesays.
I walk after him and close the door. I inspect it trying to see
what I’m not allowed to remove but I’m not seeing
anything.

I’m calling my own uncle right now.

It rings for a minute before he answers.
“Malume,” I cry to grab his attention.
“Nale, is everything okay? You’re making me panic.”“I’m
upset because of Nzalo,” I say and hear a sigh.
“At this point I think you should keep your boy problems to
yourself. Other than that, my advice will cost a fee so that
even if you don’t take it, you will lose money.”
“I also have money problems. He just ate my food and left me
hungry. Who does that?” I know he no longer wants to hear
about my relationships. “Here is the worsepart, we are
arguing because of his uncle, Xolani.”
“I’m not interested, Nalenhle. But I will tell your aunt to
send a quick recipe for something you can cook easily and
eat,” he says.
“That’s not what I was going for.” I thought he’d be angrywith
me. It would’ve been each with his and her own uncle as
back-up.
“Zola is coming back tomorrow, you will talk to her.” Hedrops
the call.
Old people and attitude!
What do I eat now? Cabbage leftovers.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 64

He invited Winnie over, even though Onathi has warmedup to

him and started calling him dad on rare occasions.Winnie is
the mother she recognizes, meaning at some point he will
have to develop a healthy relationship with her. But before
that, he has to introduce her to the most important people.
Nzalo and Msindisi. They’ve met
before but it wasn’t under great circumstances. Hopefully
today they will all start afresh, then when
Winnie comes over Nzalo and Msindisi will be present
too. It’s time they start embracing each other as a family.

He's in the study, swinging on his leather chair. It hasn’tbeen

an easy week for him but he has to keep a face because now
he’s a father. Onathi knocks outside the door. A habit she’s
taken a long time to learn; knocking.
“Come in,” Xolani says after taking a deep breath.She
walks in, “Are you okay?”
He’s been here for the past hour, alone.
“I’m okay,” he says.
“You’re acting like a brat lately. I brought you a snack.” She
takes a bar of chocolate out of his jacket that she’swearing.
A smile slips out. “Thanks, this is truly a snack.”
Onathi sits on the desk and looks at him with concern.“Is
she still not answering?” she asks.
“No, but you and I should be getting ready for your cousins.”
He pushes back the chair and stands up. He wants them to
be close but he’s mindful of how deep hewants her in his
romantic relationship.
“I’m not looking forward to it.” Her impression about her
cousins remains the same. She has one picture of Nzaloin her
head; just a heartless man with no conscience. Hetortured
her mother, Winnie, and threatened to kill her.
“Be nice and open, you will see them differently,” Xolanisays.
“You also haven’t been liking them for years, that speaks
volumes.” She gets off the desk and takes thechocolate that
Xolani is leaving behind. So ungrateful!
They’re not doing much, everything has been preparedfor
them.
.
.
.

They arrive together, Onathi restricts her movementsand

sits. Her trust is scanty when it comes to them.
There’s still an unresolved murder case that involves her
parents, the ones who raised her. Nzalo is the first in,
Onathi avoids eye contact. This man still creeps her out.
She asks herself everyday how things would’ve ended ifshe
wasn’t a Hadebe by blood.
“Hello,” he says.
“Hi,” she picks her juice.
Sometimes she comes across as full of pride and attitude.
Ok, a lot of times. But it doesn’t mean that’s who she is.
Under all the beautiful clothes and weavesshe fancies,
she’s still just a child with big dreams andan extravagant,
complicated childhood.
“Unjani?” Nzalo asks, despite her obvious discomfort.“I’m
okay,” she says.
“I heard you took a break from your studies. How do youlike
being home everyday?” He also doesn’t know how
to drive this conversation but the ice has to be broken.
“Not bad,” Onathi says and glances at her dad who’slistening
to the awkward conversation.
“I will take you to Lwethu’s fun spot during theweekend,”
he says.
She knows about the sister but from what she’s gathered,
they are nothing alike. Lwethu’s fun spot
wouldn’t be her taste, just like going out with Nzalo, the
terrorist.
“Can we chat for a second?” he asks Xolani.
They’re always talking, he comes here a lot and they have
their late calls. They leave Onathi alone on the table.
This whole thing puts her in the middle of the chaos.
Both are her families. As unlikely as it may have looked at
first, Xolani is the dad she wished Musa was. Not just
because he has freedom and money, he’s very present and
caring. She may not care for the whole Hadebe clanbut
Xolani is her biological dad. On the other hand,
Winnie is a mother in her heart. Yes, there’s distance now
but that’s the only woman she knows as a mother and she
knows how much she loves Musa. So now herreal dad’s
family is against her real mother’s family andshe’s not even
sure where her loyalties lie.
“Where is everyone?”
It’s the other one, this one downright hated her from thefirst
day.
She doesn’t respond, she’s on her phone.Msindisi
stares at her and sighs.
“Hello Onathi, how are you?”
He can be nice???
She looks up, “I’m fine, thank you.”
“So where is your dad and Nzalo?” He doesn’t like herdad
either, so she doesn’t care that much.
“Gossiping somewhere,” she says.
“Oh well, good for them.” He’s seen bowls of food andthat’s
the only highlight of the day so far. Nzalo buys
takeaways everyday. They can cook but there’s nomotivation
without proper grocery in the house.
“Who cooked? You?”
Onathi frowns. “No. Do I look like a cook?”
“No, you look like your mother,” he says.
There’s a bitter after tone. This explains why they don’t like
her. She’s paying for the sins of a woman she barely saw
throughout her childhood and only knew as an aunt.
“I don’t know her,” she says.
For the first time she’s visibly hurting.
Msindisi is too busy filling his plate to notice. “Would youlike
me to tell you the good or bad side of her?" he asks.
She’s confused. This conversation is flowing, he doesn’tseem
to have a problem with her. Did she imagine the whole thing?
“The good side, I’m tired of bad news,” she says.
Msindisi takes a bite of his steak, obviously he’s a
foodie. “This is good, just like her Sunday meals. She was a
good cook. And a very active church goer, owningall different
versions of the Bible.”
“So you grew up religiously?” Onathi asks.
“We didn’t go to church, there was no house rule set, but
yeah, she introduced us to God.” He chuckles and swallows
down mashed potatoes, but doesn’t share the joke.
“Is that all?” Onathi asks.
“Ummmm, she was a mother every child envied. She’dnail
a good stepmother role on a film,” he says. It sounds like a
compliment but it’s not.
“Is she dead?” Onathi asks.
He almost drops his knife. Xolani didn’t tell them how to
address MaMkhwanazi. Whether in the past or present
form.
“No, I’m saying “was” because our relationship is the
thing of the past,” he says.
“Oh!” Onathi raises her glass, staring at him.
“So, do you want to meet her and have a relationshipwith
her?”
“I’m not sure what I want,” she says.
“Okay, enough about the family talk. How are you afterthe
sudden change?”
“I think I’m getting there, it will take me a while but I’m
grateful to be alive and still rich,” she says.
Msindisi laughs, “You are what? Rich?”“If
my dad is then I’m rich,” she says.
“Then I’m honored to be sharing a table with you. Zinjani
izingane eRes?”
“They’re not single,” she says.
“All of them?” He’s just playing around, not that he plansto
hook up with college students.
“Those who are single are looking for blessers. Do youwant
to be a blesser?” Onathi.
“That’s not my department,” he says.
Xolani and Nzalo make their way back and find the
conversation flowing at the table. Onathi is giggling,
which is very rare when there’s a guest.
“I hope you didn’t eat everything,” Nzalo says to
Msindisi.
Their uncle laughs, for once this week has a positive
highlight. His brother’s sons are here with his daughter,all
having dinner and getting along. Only if Nokuzola was here,
his heart would’ve been complete.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I ignored my alarm and decided to use my head to wakeup.

And here I am, out of time and trying to get ready
within five minutes and answering the door at the same time.
I thought it was a neighbor or someone selling, notMr X.
Is he lost?
“Hi Nale,” he says.
“Hi, good morning.” I’m so confused.
What is happening?
“Zola is still home,” I say.
“I wanted to see you, not her.” He walks in.
I look at his waist, he doesn’t look armed, so I follow in.It’s a
mess but I wasn’t expecting anyone to pop up so early in the
morning. I can’t think of a single thing Mr X would want to talk
to me about.
“How are you?” he asks.
This keeps getting weird. Didn’t he send Nzalo to attackme
yesterday?
“I’m fabulous, as always,” I say.
He looks at me, particularly my two different flip-flops. I
couldn’t find their matches so I made them a pair. That
doesn’t make me less fabulous though.
“I’m running late,” I want him to say why he’s here and
leave.
“I won’t keep you for long,” he says and then takes a
deep breath.
Wait a minute, why does he look so humble? I hope hedoesn’t
think I’m going to rescue him.
“I want to apologize,” he says.
“For what?” I’m lost.
“I’m not sure what it is but I know it might have something
to do with me leaving you in that funeral mess. Whatever it
is, I’m sorry. I don’t want us to beenemies, you’re the only
person I can talk to when Nokuzola closes the door.”
I was right, he’s humbling himself because he wants meon his
side.
“I thought she broke up with you,” I say.
“I’m not giving up on my relationships, Nalenhle.”
There’s something in the way he says that, with a solid look
on his face and no hesitation. “Nokuzola will come back to
me, I just need to approach things differently and show her
how sorry I am about the pain I’ve causedher.”
“Sounds like inganekwane. How do you plan to do that?”I
ask.
“I don’t know, I will figure it out. All I ask is that you don’t
stand against me.” He really thinks I hate his guts and work
against their relationship.
“I didn’t want you guys to break up. I have defended you
many times and given her good advices on how to approach
things. Yes, I’m not very fond of you but I sawhow good you
were at times.” I can’t believe I’m giving his cheating ass
accolades. “But this time you fucked up. And that’s not even
what made her angry. It’s how many times you denied it and
made it look like she was insecure and childish, only to find
out that you were doing what she accused you of doing.”
“I get it,” he says.
“Good, then start showing her that you understand why
she’s feeling the way she feels and let her do what she
wants to do. Listen, respect and support her decisions.
That’s all.”
“Support that she wants to abort my baby and leave
me?”
I control myself and not laugh. He looks so hurt by the
abortion part. “Yes, support her and let her deal with thepain
however she wants. Maybe once she sees that you’re
remorseful and no longer the “mature guy” who wants to
control where and how the relationship goes, she will give
you another chance.”
“You don’t have to call me the mature guy, I know all the
names you call me,” he says.
Zola is such a loose mouth. What other names do I callhim
except Mr X or Bab' Xolani?
“Have you spoken to her?” I ask.
“No, she’s not answering my calls,” he says with a heavysigh.
“I can give you my friend’s number, he will connect youto
her," I say.
“I’d appreciate that,” he says.
I repeat, I’ve never seen him this humble.
I scroll down to my uncle’s number and call it out whilehe
saves it on his phone. I didn’t wake up for peace, I want
drama and a lift to work.
Let me hurry up and fix my lunch while he makes thecall.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 65
ZOLA
I’m helping Thami with the assignment he forgot to finish
yesterday. He woke me up from my comfortable bed to do it
for him while he bathes and irons his uniform. I can’t believe
such an irresponsible boy has a girlfriend.
But that’s none of my business, as long as he uses thecondom.
Dad is boiling some medicine on the stove, he says it’sfor
inyongo. But after the noise I heard last night I wouldn’t be
surprised if it’s for something else. My poormother!

His phone rings, he gets on his feet to answer. My dad isold

school, he puts his calls on loudspeaker and talks loud. I’m
focused on the assignment until I hear the voice asking if I’m
around. I know that voice, I’d know it even when waking up
from a deep sleep.
“Who are you?” dad asks, now glaring at me.
Xolani wouldn’t be that stupid, would he?
“I’m Xolani, I got your number from Nalenhle, I’m not sure if
I’m speaking to the right person.” He still can’t hear that this
is my dad, not whoever he thought it was.
“Okay,” dad says.
I almost fall off the chair. Okay?
He comes to me with the phone and hands it over. Thishas to
be a trap. I know very well how my dad feels about Xolani
and the overall relationship.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Nokuzola,” he says.
“This is my dad’s phone.” He’s such an idiot, my dad isglaring
at me like I gave his number to Xolani.
“Fuck! Must I drop?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Please apologize for me,” he drops the call.
I want the floor to open up and swallow me right now.
“Thanks,” I give the phone back.
He takes it and surprisingly doesn’t make any comment.
Mine rings, I have to answer and address him calling mydad’s
phone. I close the book in front of me and step
outside to answer.
“Why are you calling my dad?” I ask.
“Nale set me up, she said it’s her friend’s number. I’mreally
sorry.”
“What do you want, Xolani?” I ask.
“I just wanted to hear your voice, I’m sorry.”This is
not the morning I wanted to have. “When are you
coming back?” he asks.
“Today. Are you done? I’m busy.” I have to finish the
assignment and get myself ready.
“I’d like to see you when you are back,” he says.
“Alright Xolani, as I said, I’m busy right now.” I drop his call
and return inside the house.
I don’t know when his friendship with Nale blossomed to the
point of her giving him my dad’s number. I don’t want to see
him until Thursday, the day of abortion.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Msindisi wants to see me. It sounded urgent, he’s evenhere

to pick me up after work. It’s been one thing after another
for him, I honestly feel sorry for him. He’s already waiting
outside the gate.
I buy R5 chips and get in the car.
I look at him and he’s smiling. I don’t even know whenwas the
last time I saw him with that cute smile.
“Okay. Hello, what’s popping?” It looks like I might begetting
good news.
“Let’s get some food first. Trust me, it’s not good news,I’m just
happy to see you,” he says.
“Alright. Do you want Mamas for starters?” I ask openingthe
pocket.
“No, thank you,” he says.
As expected, I fasten my seatbelt and enjoy the ride withmy
snack.
He drives to an Indian restaurant, I wasn’t in the moodfor
hot curry but I’m not going to complain about something
I’m getting for free.
“I’m not paying, right?” I ask before putting my order. “What
do you take me for, Nale?” He’s actually offended.
I’m in love with this person. Can he fetch me from work
everyday?
We order and get our drinks first. This is his moment,let’s
hear what’s the latest.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I have been talking to someone,” he says.
“Who?” I ask, hoping it’s a girl. I know he could usesome love
right now.
“Musa,” he says.
“Thee Musa?” I’m confused.
“Yes, he’s been texting me. Don’t tell Nzalo this, please.I
don’t want him to get involved and blow this thing up,” he
says.
“What do you talk about?” I don’t understand this.
And he’s so calm about it! The man is a wantedmurderer.
“He’s trying to give his side of the story and asking for achance
to meet up,” he says.
“Oh, and you want to trap him?”“I
will hear him out,” he says.
Sometimes I don’t understand Msindisi.
“He killed your mother, Msindisi.” I can’t believe he’s
interested in hearing him out.
“And he was my age when he did it, I want to hear him. I
want to know why he did it, beside being hired to, and what
my mother’s last moments were. Did she ask for
forgiveness or leave any message behind?”
“Can you at least discuss this with Nzalo first?” I’m really
worried.
“No, he dealt with Winnie and MaMkhwanazi, this one is
mine to handle.”
“Okay. Tip off the police and have security with you,” Isay.
“Stop worrying, I have it all figured out. Obviously I don’t
trust him, I won’t go there alone,” he says and that relieves
me.
“Promise me you won’t tell Nzalo,” he says.
“Bribe me,” I say.
“Friday night movie and drinks.”
“We have a deal.” I haven’t been out in a while, I’mdefinitely
not letting this opportunity pass me by.
Msindisi is a vibe when he’s not going through heavystuff, I
know we will have tons of fun.
.
.
.
Guess who’s back?
My heart-broken cousin and she’s cooking.“Hello
mam,” I’m happy to see her.
“I have a bone to pick with you.” Ah, she can’t even hugme
first.
She hasn’t seen me in two days for Christ’ sake!
“What have I done?” I ask, pulling the chair to sit.
“Giving Xolani my dad’s number, really?”
“I was bored. Did he get any scolding?”
“No, and that’s weird, right?”
“Malume is losing his touch. He was here, telling me how
sorry he is. He looks miserable, especially whentalking
about you wanting an abortion.”
“Let him be miserable, he needs to wake up,” she says.
I have never seen her so unbothered when it comes toMr
X’s feelings.
“But what are we going to do about rent?” I ask.
“What did we do before him? Hhayi bo Nale, you and I
have jobs. I’m not going to take anything coming from
Xolani, we don’t need his money,” she says.
“I need it,” I say.
“Then get in his polygamous relationship and be
Robyn’s sisterwife.”
“I’d probably kill him with my bare hands. Anyway, I havea tea.
Remember Musa, the fugitive?” I shouldn’t be
telling her this but I only promised not to tell Nzalo.“Has he
been caught?” she asks.
“Nope, he wants to meet up with Msindisi and give hisside
of the story,” I say.
“What? I hope he’s told the police,” she says.
“Well, he will be meeting up with him and no, the policehave
not been informed. I don’t even know how to feel about
this. But I promised him that I won’t tell Nzalo since he
wants to handle this himself.”
“No, you have to tell him,” she says.
“And betray Msindisi’s trust? We have a deal.”
“A deal that could cost him his life. We are talking abouta
murderer here, someone who escaped prison and
faked his death. Msindisi has proven how emotional hecan
be. MaMkhwanazi is missing because of him, remember?”
Now I’m confused. Do I tell Nzalo or not? Will Msindisiever
trust me again?
.
.
.
ZOLA
I knew him asking to see me was fake. That’s why he’s here
without asking for my permission. I’m tempted to close the
door on his face but I’m not a dramatic person,especially
with that man who sits in the car across the street probably
watching us.
“I won’t be long,” he says.
“Come in,” I say.
“I don’t want to disturb Nale. Can we talk in the car?”Yep,
Xolani has to get things his way.
“No, inside the house or leave,” I stand my ground.
“Alright, thank you,” he walks in.
Was it that hard to obey me?
Nothing misses Nale’s ears, she comes out of the
bathroom wrapped in a towel with soap on her face. “Isthat
grootman?”
She sees him. “I mean, Mr X.”“Hi
Nale,” he says.
Nale disappears. We sit down, I do my best to keep myeyes
away from him. He’s wearing Denim jeans and pique polo
shirt. He has a new brush cut.
“I want to have an early night,” I say.
“I won’t be long, I promise. Can I hug you?”
“No,” I’m not falling for any of his tricks. Not today.
He heaves a deep sigh and pops his finger joints. “Okay,okay.”
It looks like he may need a minute. I relax and wait for him
to recover from whatever he’s going through rightnow.
“Nokuzola ngiyaxolisa, I’m deeply sorry,” he says.
“I know that. What’s new?” I don’t want to hear the sameold
story.
“I’m willing to support whatever decision you take. So, I’d
like to pay for your medical expenses and therapy,” he
says.
I’m not sure I’m hearing this correctly.
“What?” I want to him to repeat what he just said.
“That’s what you want, I have to put my feelings aside and
understand why you’re doing this. I hurt you and it’sonly fair
that you hurt me back,” he says.
Well, I’m not pregnant, I only said that to hurt him.“So
you accept that I’m aborting your baby?”
He swallows hard, his chest bounces. “Yes. I know youwon’t
take my recommendation, so how much is it?”
“R400,” I say the first amount I can think of.
“Can I take care of that? Will they give you counseling
before the process?”
Is he really accepting this? That was not the plan.“Yes,” I
say.
“I will make a transfer. Do you want me to go with you?”
“What? No.”
“Okay,” he says.

He doesn’t waste my time as he promised. I walk him tothe

door, I can see that he’s not okay emotionally. But I close
the door without asking anything. I stand by the window and
watch his car. He’s there for over five minutes, not driving
away.
I hear a ping on my phone as he finally drives off.
“Is he gone?” Nale’s voice moves me away from thewindow.
“Yeah. Can you believe he’s covered my abortionexpenses?”
“Really? We are rich, mos,” she says.
“No, it’s only R500, I told him it costs R400.”
“What? Are you crazy?” Of course she would’ve liked forme to
rip him off over lies.
I feel bad even about this R500. There’s no abortionbecause
there’s no baby.
“I think I’m going to throw up.” I’m not feeling well, I rush
towards the bathroom.
“Jeez, you didn’t even scam him too much, only R500,”Nale
says behind me.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 66
ZOLA

I know they say pain changes people but I don’t want tofall
under that. I swipe my card, settling my bill after dining out
with the money he sent for abortion. This is not who I am;
I’m not a liar. I’m glad this thing is comingto an end. He
checked on me in the morning, I think he wanted to confirm
if I’m still going ahead with the “abortion”, and that was the
last time I heard from him. Iknow he’s going through it right
now, which is what I wanted. It’s becoming a different
person because of circumstances that I don’t like.
I take a taxi home and find Nale in the kitchen. She didn’t say
anything about shopping, she has Checkersbags filled with
goodies.
“I wouldn’t have brought you food if I knew you went
shopping,” I say.
“Who? Me? This was brought here by someone whoworks for
Mr X. It’s your comfort food while you go
through the healing process,” she says.
She’s having a slice of cake, there’s a box of Ultramelopen in
front of her. I don’t know what to make of this.
“Isn’t he thoughtful?” She’s just enjoying the cake.
There’s nothing thoughtful about buying someone food
after you cheated on them and drove them to abortion.
Fake abortion.
“Okay, what’s up with the long face?”
“I hate lying, Nale,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “Oh please, now you want to
confess?”
“Of course not, but I don’t want to be out of character like
this. I just want to move on from this whole thing.” I’m still
stuck in the same dark place.
I should put my effort into healing and moving on.“Alright
then. We are keeping the food, right?”
I laugh, “Why not?”
I feel like his chocolate cake came on time. I only need a
dessert for tonight then I’m sleeping my sorrows away. I cut
myself a generous piece for tasting and then cut another one.
Nale is staring at me like I’m eating her cake.
“It’s mine,” I say.
“But since when do you eat so much cake?”
I’m confused. “Because it’s delicious and giving me joy.”
“Maybe you should text him and say thank you,” she
says.
“I’m not doing that, thank you very much.” I don’t owe
Xolani any text, he chose to send the cake here, I didn’task
him. I don’t want to open that window, he will take my
appreciation for weakness again.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

It’s Friday and I’m yet to inform Nzalo that I’m going out.I
don’t ask for permission or feel the need to tell him where I
am everytime, but now there are security concerns I feel like
I have to inform him.
I have airtime but I’m trying to save. So I buzz him withone
ring and drop. I wait for him to call me back. It doesn’t take
long before “My Everything” flashes on myscreen.
“I tried calling and you didn’t answer,” I say.
“It only rang once and you dropped. But you’re right, I’m
sorry for not answering. How are you sthandwa sami?” he
says.
“I’m good, just clocked out. I need to update you aboutmy
plans for tonight,” I say.
“Okay, what are we doing tonight?” He’s includinghimself in
my plans.
“No babe, I made plans with Msindisi. We are going outfor a
movie and drinks,” I say.
“Okay, I can get a ticket too,” he says.
“I’m not sure, hey. Maybe you can chill with your friends too.
It’s been long since you spent time with them,” I say.
“No Nale, you have to make up for this. It’s last minute,all
along I thought Friday would be for you and I,” he says.
“Don’t worry, I will make it up to you.” I don’t even knowhow,
maybe I will buy him socks and copy and paste a romantic
message from Google.
“I love you, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he says.
“Seriously?”
“I love you too, enjoy your night.”
Maybe I should have checked with Msindisi if there’s a spot
for a third person to join us. I’m looking forward to this, I
haven’t gone out in a while.
.
.
.

Zola said she’s going to town after work, so I don’t havea

stylist. I choose a dress, I have definitely grown someheight
on it but it doesn’t look that short. I have seen girls dressed
in shorter dresses. And I’m wearing a leather jacket to cover
the chest area, nothing is overly exposed except my legs.
Msindisi said I look good in my short hair, so I’m not risking
losing my wig. I’ve had my wig snatched in a clubbefore, I’m
going all natural today.
Msindisi is here five minutes early, he respects time waytoo
much.
“I hope you are done,” he says.
“Almost,” I say.
“Okay, I will sit here and count minutes.”
I empty my purse and pack only what’s important for the
night. Then retouch my face and do a few walks in front of
the mirror. Within ten minutes I’m done, that was fast.
He looks up, “Oh, wow!”“I
look nice, right?”
“Way too nice. I’d be wrong if I don’t take a picture.” He’s
nothing like Nzalo, with that one you have to beg to take
pictures with. We take tons of selfies, changing poses and
deleting.
“We look good,” I say, going through the pictures.“We
would’ve looked good as a couple,” he says.
He is funny but no. “We almost have the same height. I
want my man’s head to be touching the sky. I want him to
be closer to God.”
“God is not in the sky, he is in the heart,” he says.
“And you think he is not in your brother’s heart?”
“I don’t know, he is my heart though, and you.” Says the
same guy who could have possibly killed his stepmother not
so long ago.
“Let’s go,” I say.
.
.
.
ZOLA

Nale has her movie thing with Msindisi, that means I willbe
alone half of the night. I still have my comfort food
from yesterday, I will watch TV and be okay. I get in my
pyjamas and settle on the couch. I’m hopping through
channels looking for something I can watch, my phonerings.
It’s him, usually I just don’t answer his calls. But he’sbeen
acting human lately, I pick up.
Boom, he’s outside the door.
I’m alone, Nale is not here to back me up. I don’t want tosee
him, I don’t want to have a conversation. I open the door, he
walks in wearing black, long sleeve T-shirt and sunglasses.
He’s indoor now, I expect him to take them off but hedoesn’t.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
His voice sounds bruised and hoarse.“I’m
okay, thank you,” I say.
“I got you this.” He gives me a pharmacy packet, he
bought me some medication.
I’m feeling more guilty because I didn’t have any
abortion yesterday.
He takes a seat, without me approving. I get my snacksand
sit down.
“I was about to watch a movie,” I say.
“That’s okay,” he says.
I keep the volume low and watch. It’s weird, him and I used
to be so in love and close. But now we just sit likestrangers.
I think an hour passes, I’m glued on the TV and he’s in his
head most of the time.
“Do you need something to drink?” He
clears his throat, “No, thank you.”
Well, I need one, this atmosphere is too tense.I get
a glass of juice and come back.

He takes the sunglasses off, finally. I can see his eyes and I
understand why he’s wearing them. My conscience knocks
me guiltily. A man is mourning a baby that didn’t exist. He
looks at his phone and heavesa sigh.
“Onathi is texting me, she’s not used to being alone inthe
house at night,” he says.
“You should go home,” I say.
“Yeah, probably.” He drops his face and stares at thefloor for
a good minute.
He takes a deep breath and looks at me. He locks his
swollen eyes on me, there’s so much pain in them. I have
more conscience than him, I feel bad.
“Did you really do it?” he asks.
I summon my nerves with a deep breath and nod.
He stares at me for a minute and then looke away. “What’s
been glaring this whole week is that for every sin committed
there will be someone to pay. And it sucksthat mine had to
be paid off by an innocent soul. I don’t know if I will ever
forgive myself for this.”
I need a sip quickly.
“I don’t know if God will ever bless me with another child
again. I have missed out twice.” He rubs his hands and takes
another deep breath.
“You will be, Robyn will give you one,” I say.
He looks at me, “I’m not dating Robyn. Never have,never
will.”
“Oh, you just sleep with her?” I don’t even want to talk
about this again.
He doesn’t answer. He still doesn’t have a valid reason why
that happen. He is just a selfish man who only careabout
what his dick wants.
“Obviously she gives you what you like, you should be
sticking to her instead wasting my time.” I really hate
that I went out of my comfort zone trying to please this
man and I was still not enough.
“I love you,” he says.
“You do? Really?”
“Do you really think I don’t love you, Nokuzola? Do you
think the months I have spent with you were just a gameand
I’m happy to be where we are right now?”
“Yes,” I say.
He releases a deep sigh. “That’s not true, I love you.”
“There’s no love without trust, you’re old enough to know
that. You had Robyn on the phone swearing that there’s
nothing going on between the two of you. You are a wicked,
old man. I can’t believe you made me look that stupid.”
“But there was nothing going on. It only happened once,in
Hluhluwe. And I regret that night with my whole heart.I
should’ve acted differently, that wasn’t worth me losingyou
and my baby. If I could, I would turn back time. If I could, I
would’ve asked to carry my baby myself. But I don’t have a
womb to do that, I couldn’t save her.” His voice cracks with
agony. He really thinks I was pregnant,I don’t know why he’s
so convinced that he scored.
“Why did you cheat?” I ask.
“I don’t know, Nokuzola. I wasn’t thinking straight, I’msorry.”
Oh, now he wants to cry.
“Please Xolani, don’t even trick God into thinking I’m making
an elder cry. You did me wrong, I should be theone crying
about this, not you. You bought a condom,
took your clothes off and pleased another woman. Andyou
want to tell me you were not thinking straight!” I’m not a
fool, he thought about it and thought I was not going to find
out. Until today, he wasn’t even apologeticabout it.
“You have killed my baby, what more do you want?”
“Awu! I thought you were supporting my decision andnow
you’re holding that against me?” I knew it wasn’t
coming from his heart. He was probably advised by
someone foolish and thought it would get him my love
back.
“I am supporting you,” he says.
“Oh, your support is accompanied by tears?”
He pulls his T-shirt over his face. Umhlaba ujikeleobaqwe this
time.
“You have been through a lot, huh?” It’s raining 1980stears,
now he’s the victim.
I need to refill my juice and get some biscuits.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 67
ZOLA

I can’t sleep, I’m feeling guilty. I know I shouldn’t be

feeling sorry for him, he hurt me. But man, those were real
tears and I hate to think that he’s emotionally mourning. I
appreciate life, I don’t want to loosely play around with the
idea of terminating it. Maybe that’s whyI’m having minor
pain in my abdomen, God is punishingme. I have to pray and
ask for forgiveness. I would never harm an innocent soul to
get back to a man.
I make a prayer and then get in bed. I want to call Nale,just to
be sure that she’s still safe out there. But an incoming call
disturbs me.
I answer, I do want to hear if he got home safe.“Are
you sleeping?” he asks.
“I just got in bed. Are you home yet?”“I
am,” he says.
That’s a relief I needed.
A moment of silence passes with him on the phone.“I’m
sorry about how I acted,” he says.
“It’s okay,” I say. “Sleep
well,” he says.
“Thank you.” I’d wish the same for him but I’m still bitter.“I
would like to…” he doesn’t finish, he stops.
I wait but he keeps quiet.
“Goodnight makoti,” he says and drops the call.
I might need some pain killers, this pain isn’t just minor.It’s
starting to feel like stomachache, maybe I over consumed
sugar.

I get painkillers and then call the party animal. She takeslong
to answer, I expected her to sound drunk but she sounds
sober than the usual days when she goes out.
Msindisi must be putting her on a leash. They’re aboutto
leave the place they are in. Now I can sleep peacefully.
Phone beeps!
It’s a text from Xolani.
*LIFE FEELS SO EMPTY WITHOUT YOU. I REALLYMISS YOU,
NOKUZOLA. BUT I TRUST IN GOD,
KUZOLUNGA KONKE*
Now he’s including God in his dirty affairs. Life is full of
surprises!
.
.
.

NALENHLE

Partying is not fun when you left a bored boyfriend behind

who keeps video-calling and asking how manydrinks
you’ve had. I need to address this behavior so
that it doesn’t occur in future. Msindisi leaves me in thecar
and rushes to the bathroom. We are about to headhome,
it’s just after midnight. I’m sure Zola got tired of waiting
and slept, I kept lying and saying I’m about to leave.
Nzalo answers, “Babe.”
“You’re still awake. Yazi Nzalo I’m not going to toleratethis. I
couldn’t even enjoy my night because of you,” I say.
He laughs, “Because of me? It’s not my fault that yournight
turned out cold, I was just checking up on you.”
He’s enjoying this.
“I think you’re getting old, maybe you should find new, age-
appropriate ways of having fun. Maybe start readingbooks. I
can recommend a few,” he says.
He just called me old. Oh my god! I age-shame people,not
the other way around.
“I’m not old.” Imagine Nzalo who is chasing 40 calling me
old. “You are old. In fact everyone in your family isold.”
“We have two teenage girls,” he says.“Do
they read?” I ask.
“They party and enjoy it. Unlike you, suffering from quarter
life crisis and throwing tantrums after partying,”he says.
“That’s it, you are now single.”He
laughs.
Idiot! I drop the call. Msindisi just got back in the car.He.looks
at me. “Are you okay?”
“Your brother is annoying but I’m fine.”
“I feel like your relationship is more quarrels and less
happiness, which is what you truly deserve,” he says.
Definitely exaggerating the situation. Yes, we do quarrel but
most of the times it’s over stupid things and out of love.
Nzalo knows me better than anyone, he knows thatmy night
didn’t turn out the way I expected and just blaming him
because I can’t face reality. Months ago I enjoyed going out
and drinking, but today something was just amiss.
“You deserve love that is soft and patient, especially after
the rough times you’ve been through.” He actuallywants this
conversation to continue.
“I am getting it,” I say.
“Are you?” He stares at me.
I know it comes from a good place but I don’t appreciateit.
“Yeah, I’m happy,” I say.
“Come on, Nale. You’re comfortable because you havebeen
with him some time. I have not seen you happy. Imean really
happy like a girl who is loved deeply and right.”
“He is your brother, dude.” I don’t understand why he
doesn’t advise Nzalo if he sees something wrong because
right now it sounds like he’s badmouthing Nzalo.
“I do care about you as well. Don’t you see that?”We
both didn’t drink that much, so I’m confused. “I want
you to be good,” he says.
“I am good. You are making me uncomfortable.”“By
looking at you?” he asks.
“No, the way you’re talking. I don’t like the idea of you guys
not having each other’s back. I know you mean well but I
prefer you caring about your brother more thanme.” I can’t
relate to family members talking bad about each other. I talk
bad to Zola’s face, not behind her back. I can’t fathom that.
“Can we go?” I ask.
He starts the car. I definitely didn’t need to hear this, it
changes the way I look at him and that’s not what I want.
I know his gentleness, I know he wouldn’t be
intentionally vile towards his loved ones.
.
.
.
We were almost all the way. He pulls outside and looks at
me, I can see that he has something to say. I take mybag and
two cans that I left.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“It’s fine, really. I’m good,” I say.
“I know you love him, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe I
think too much.”
“You think about what?” I ask.
“You and I. I just think we have mutual understandingand a
lot of similarities,” he says.
“I hope you’re not thinking about what MaMkhwanazi said
about you and I being more fit for each other. Thatwill put
me in an awkward position. Nzalo is your blood,you
shouldn’t even entertain such thoughts. Even if himand I
don’t work out, we will never be an option.”
“Why not?” He’s bold enough to ask me this instead oftaking
back everything he’s said.
“Because you’re his brother and I will never come
between the two of you,” I say.
“But he also knows that we have better communication and
a lot in common. That’s why he asked me to talk to you
when he held you hostage.”
“It doesn’t mean we have a mysterious connection. It’s just
an age thing, I’m 26 and you are 25, he’s bound to think that
you understand me better.” I can’t believe I’m even
explaining this. This boy is really stressing me out.
“Okay,” he says.
I can see his disappointment, this is not what he wantedto
hear. I’m not even angry, I just feel bad for him and Nzalo.
Nzalo would be hurt if he finds out he had such
thoughts.
“Drive safely, I’m going to sleep,” I say.
“Sleep well,” he says.
“Thank you. And thank you for the fantastic night.” Iopen
the door and climb out.
I need to sleep, I will digest this tomorrow.
.
.
.

I wake to Zola making breakfast. One thing about Zola,she

was meant to be a rich housewife who has maids.
My niece hates cooking and all kinds of housework. SoI’m
surprised to her this active and even serving me.
“What is all this for?” I ask.
“I know you’re hung over, I want you to rest,” he says.
“No, I know you. There is more to this. What’s goingon?” I
know she’s bribing me with this.
“I want to confess to Xolani, I’ve taken this too far. I’m
making him mourn a baby that didn’t even exist,” she
says.
Really? It hasn’t even been a month.
“Msindisi was really weird,” I talk about more important
things.
“He was crying, I have never seen him so broken,” shesays.
“He thinks I’m not happy with Nzalo and he’s moresuitable for
me.”
“Whaaat?” Now she’s paying attention.
“I couldn’t believe it, I think he’s getting confused and lost in
reality. That’s why I feel sorry for him and not even angry.” I
understand how close he was to MaMkhwanazi. She was in
his life soon after his motherpassed. And when
MaMkhwanazi shifted, I was the closest female to him.
“Did you tell Nzalo?” Zola asks.
“And say what? ‘Your brother is hitting on me’. That willdrive
them apart, their brotherhood is not even the
tightest at the moment. I think he needs help, he needs
to heal from these women leaving his life. I’m not goingto
stand in the gap, I’m just his brother’s girlfriend who cares
for him. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“You are right, you shouldn’t tell Nzalo. But this is weirdand it
will get more weird when you’re with them in the same space,
at the same time,” she says.
“I know, that’s what I hate. And I think Nzalo was alreadynot
comfortable with our friendship, always making senseless
boundaries on what I should do and shouldn’t do.” Yoh, I feel
like a female version of Mr X right now. I made Nzalo sound
stupid for pointing out that our
friendship needed boundaries.
“What if Mr X’s spirit entered me? Why would I start acting
like him soon after we put our differences aside.”
Zola raises her eyebrow, “You put your differencesaside?”
“Yeah, I advised him to…” Oh shucks.I
should learn how to shut up.
“Don’t tell me you’re the one who’s been advising him tobring
me goodies, just so you can benefit?” Zola really
thinks horribly of me.
“I’m everything but I’d never use your situation to get
free things from Mr X,” I say.
“You’d never, Nale?” She tilts back her head. “Okay,
maybe the old Nale would have,” I say.
“You are the old Nale, there’s no brand new Nale whohas
popped out of you overnight.” She’s angry and I
don’t understand why. She gets along with Nzalo even
when him and I are fighting. I’m trying to be a changed
person, I haven’t given Mr X any advice that would
offend her. I respect her decisions and stand by her.
“Have advice for your own life now. What are you goingto do
about Msindisi? Cut him off?”
“That’s too drastic, I will just pull back a little bit because
clearly he’s misunderstanding our friendship. He just needs to
deal with his demons and find a girlfriend.” I can’t just stop
caring about him. I know he’s not a bad person, he’s just
having a rough time and looking for a pillar of strength in the
wrong places.
My phone rings. It's Msindisi, I don’t know why I feel likea
mini Mr X, I haven't done anything wrong.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 68

All he knows is that Musawenkosi is a man in his mid-

thirties, younger than MaMkhwanazi and related through
mothers. He only knows a picture of him that was published
in newspapers, he looked younger at the time, he was in his
20s. Despite Nalenhle warning him againstcommunicating
with Musa, he’s been responding to
texts. Musa is close, he’s not hiding far, judging by how
convenient he thinks it is to just meet up and talk.
But what about MaMkhwanazi? A seed of doubt hasbeen
continuously planted in his head, right now he
doesn’t know whether he really killed her or his uncle was
right. He wasn’t tuned in with reality that day, he
remembers some things but not the rest of what
transpired.
A message comes in: I KNOW WHERE SHE IS.That’s
Musa, his heart starts racing.
CAN I CALL YOU? -he texts back.
It ticks twice, Musa doesn’t get back to him. Clearly he
doesn’t want a phone or video call, which makes things
complicated.
CAN WE MEET TOMORROW?- Msindisi.
He reads and responds this time. Yes, he’s okay with
them meeting tomorrow but Msindisi has to assure himthat
there will be no police. He thinks about telling Nalebut after
their last conversation he might be the last person she
wants to hear from. Does he have any regrets? Definitely
yes, she made it clear that he’s
crossing the line. But does it change how he thinks? No.
.
.
.
Nzalo comes home, with food takeaways as usual. Theydon’t
cook, it’s pretty much fast food everyday. They haven’t settled
in yet, it still feels like they’re guests in
this house. Fuck MaMkhwanazi for that, she manipulated
them into leaving their mother’s house to
warm hers. Hopefully their mother has forgiven them forall
their mistakes.
“What were you up to all day?” Nzalo asks, taking a seatacross
the couch.
“Nothing. I went out for lunch and came back, that’s just
about it," he says.
“When do you think you’re coming back to work?” Nzalo.
“I don’t know, I still have things to do.” He hasn’t been towork
in weeks.
He’s not in a good space of mind to go there.
“There’s nobody supervising at dispatch, you understand
that, right? You’re making me overwork Ngubane, there’s no
order, meanwhile you’re still gettingpaid.”
“I will go to work when I’m ready to,” Msindisi says.
“Most people are going through shit, from warehouse
manager, coordinator, supervisors and drivers. But it
doesn’t mean we have to stop operating, this is all we
have. I expect you, out of all people, to put our legacy
first.”
“Hhayi-ke asazi, you can fire me if you want.” He restshis
back on the couch and replies his texts.
There’s been a lot of disrespect lately. Nzalo let it slide most
of the times because he understands why Msindisiis angry at
him. He feels excluded and undermined, especially when it
comes to family matters. But is it really that bad to want to
protect your younger brother?
He doesn’t get into an exchange though, his temper won’t
allow him to argue without putting hands, so it’sbetter that
he just goes away.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I don’t think avoiding Msindisi will work, I have to figureout

a way to resolve this without pitting them against each
other. And I think talking to his uncle will definitelybe a good
start. I trust he won’t tell Nzalo knowing the damage this
could cause to the family. I also need him
to keep an eye on Msindisi, that boy has lost his senses.I
have a bad feeling about Musa. He’s the most wanted
criminal in town right now. The only way he can escape
prison this time is through real death. What if he wants
to kill more people and then kill himself because the police
catch him? Msindisi is definitely not a Mkhwanazifamily
friend after what he allegedly did.

But I can only arrange to see Mr X tomorrow because

today Nzalo said I must dress up by 6:30pm. I don’t
know any of his plans. Yes, we eat out together most of the
times, but he’s never told me to dress up. Obviously it’s
something big, maybe Usher is in town.
Zola has been in bed since we came back from work. Yes,
she’s not a fan of domestic activities but she also
doesn’t just lie in bed so early. I finish my glam andcheck up
on her.

Ah, she’s even covered with a blanket. “Hey,

are you okay?” I’m getting worried.
She sticks her head out, looking sleepy. “I took painkillers, I
think it’s period pains.”
“You think?” I’m confused.
Period pains are period pains, you don’t think about it. “I’m
not on my periods yet, I think they’re coming.”
“But you’ve been complaining about these minor pain for
days, maybe you need to visit a doctor and see if it’s not
something serious,” I say.
“It’s not,” she insists.
“But what if you have cancer?”
“Cancer?” She frowns and sits up.
“Yeah, it is cancer,” I confirm.
“You are such an evil human being. I have to text my
manager, I can’t go to work tomorrow, I will go and seeDr
Zulu,” she says.
“That wasn’t hard. How do I look?” I give her a twirl so
that she can see the back. I have never worn this dress
anywhere before. I was saving it for special occasions like
this.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
“I don’t know, maybe there’s an Usher concert or we are
attending a private dinner with the minister.” All I know is
that it’s something big.
“Enjoy, I’m sleeping,” she pulls up the blanket.
I need to make the last touch ups before Nzalo arrives.
.
.
.

We are in Grill what-what, I think we are here to pick up

someone. It may look a bit fancy but this is just a
Shisanyama that grew up in the suburbs. I didn’t dressup to
come to a shisanyama.
“This is my uncle’s establishment,” he says, smiling.
“Oh, I didn’t know.” We are just 15 minutes away fromthe
casino.
And no, I’m not impressed.
“We have never celebrated him and his achievements. We
have been so divided, it’s crazy.” He's admiring the place
and I can see the remorse.
“So this is our destination?” I ask.
“Yes, I want us to celebrate our 6th monthiversary here.Did I
tell you how scrumptious you look?”
“Stop it. I didn’t even put any effort in this look.” Forgetthe
fancy shisanyama, I don’t know when was the last time I
lasted this long in a relationship.
“I know, it just happened naturally,” he says, smiling.
I roll my eyes. He knows me way too much, this mancan read
me from my back. I hate and love him for it.
“Of course, I just grabbed the first dress I saw,” I say.“Mmmm.
And how do I look?” he asks.
He’s wearing a black T-shirt and jean shorts withsneakers.
“Basic,” I say.
He was waiting for that, he knows I’m brutally honest with
my opinions. We kiss, then he opens the door forme and
holds my hand as we make our way in.
“Where are the customers?” I ask, I don’t see any.“I
booked the place for us,” he says.
My heart dances. It doesn’t get better than this.
“I’m kidding, they are close for business today but I pulled a
few strings and got them open for two hours justfor us,” he
says.
I delete everything he just said immediately. He booked this
place for me, that’s the story I’m going to tell people.

He could’ve gotten a few decorations but I understand,my

man sucks when it comes to such things. At least
there’s soft music playing, I don’t see any employee.
Maybe they’re in the back, our table is already laid and
ready for us.
It’s a lot of food, well-represented shisanyama with fancy
greens and unnecessary cutlery.
“I could have taken you to a fine dining but a barbecue
restaurant seemed better. It’s a family restaurant, which
profits my uncle. And it represents what you are to me, which
is home. The months I’ve spent with you have really been the
best time of my life.”
“You are making me blush.” I grab a wet towel and wipemy
hands. There’s no way I’m eating shisanyama with
fork and knife. I need to roll pap with my hand.
“Is it not painful to be left-handed?” One thing aboutNzalo’s
stupidity, it doesn’t have good timing.
“Dating you is painful,” I say.
He chuckles, “And you’re still here, six months later.What
has made you stick around for so long?”
“Because I love you,” I say.
“I know, but we’ve had our ups and downs. You have also
expressed how this hasn’t turned out the way you expected.
So I don’t know if love makes you tolerate me.” That
definitely bruised him when I said it. It’s still onhis mind even
now.
“But I think I tolerate you as much as you tolerate me. Ihave
done my assignment and there’s no such thing asperfect
partner. We just have to build each other; learn from every
mistake and grow,” I say.
“I’m willing to do that and improve my communication skills.
That’s just one thing killing my relationships,” hesays.
“Relationships?” Excuse me!
He smiles, “Uneskhwele yazi. I’m talking about Msindisi,I
think I’ve broken communication somewhere.”
I need to get myself together, I’m not guilty of anything.“What
happened?” I ask.
“I don’t want to talk about it here, this is our time. But
lately he’s been egomaniac and I’m letting him be, because
half of it is my fault. I didn’t let him make important
decisions and have a voice when he neededto,” he says.
“That’s sad but I know he will come around.” This is not
something that I want to think about today. I pour wine into
my glass and take a sip.
“How did you know that I like Pinotage?” I ask.
“I don’t know because you hardly drink wine in front of
me.” He’s being sarcastic.
He smiles at me rolling my eyes. “You are my favoriteperson
on earth.”
“Really now? Over Lwethu?”
“She’s my favorite person but default. Unlike you, whomI can
choose to be not my favorite person,” he says.
“How lucky!” Let me take a sip to celebrate.
“I mean it, I could be having a shitty day but once I hear your
voice it becomes brighter. I don’t want to ever lose you,” he
says.
“We will never lose each other, I promise.” I lean over tohis
side and seal it with a quick kiss. “You make me happy,
believe me.” I know people like Msindisi think otherwise but
I’m happy with the person I’m with. I don’tregret giving him
a chance.
“I appreciate hearing that,” he smiles.

Someone appears, I thought it was just the two of us

here.
It’s a friendly young gentleman with a chocolate
fountain. I’m a village girl, things like this excite me. I buy
chocolate slabs, I’ve never had a whole fountain infront of
me.
“This looks beautiful. Can I take pictures?"
“Yeah,” he says.
He’s on the other side, he will also show in pictureswhich is
something he usually doesn’t like.
“I will post them,” I say.
“Okay then, let me pose.”
This is new. Nzalo and posing for pictures!
I snap more than enough and then ask to take his, standing
alone. Again, no hustle. He stands up and doesevery pose I
recommend.
I don’t even know why he hates taking pictures becausehe’s
photogenic.
Zola is calling me. I have to answer because I left her not
feeling well. She wants me to get her oranges on myway
back, she says she wants something sour. I’m
getting worried about her, can’t tomorrow come already?
“What’s wrong now?” Nzalo asks.
“Zola is not well, she’s been having abdominal problemsbut
she will be visiting a doctor tomorrow,” I say.
“I’m sure she will be fine. Did she tell babomncane?”“For
what? They’re no longer together,” I say.
“So he doesn’t deserve to know what’s going on?”“Yes,” I
say.
He chuckles and eats his ribs.
“What’s funny?” I ask.
“Nothing is funny. But the way you say it, it’s like babomncane
won’t know anyway. Zola is special to him,obviously he will
know when she goes to the doctor,” hesays.
I’m confused. “Is he stalking her?”
“That’s a big word. Protecting her, yes. And that’s not acrime,
she also knows that we may have people
targeting us,” he says.
“Wait, are you saying he knows every place Zola goesto?”
“Hhayi ke, don’t put words in my mouth.” Now he wantsto
change what he just said.
That’s exactly what he implied to.
“On Thursday did he know where she was?” I ask.
“It would have been reckless of him not to. What if
something happened?” he says.
“Nzalo wait, are you sure about this? That means heknew
that Zola went to a restaurant instead of…”
“Going to an abortion clinic? Yes, he knew, but this isnone of
our business.”
What the fuck? Jesus Christ.
I can’t believe this. We are even feeling sorry for Mr X
because he’s been crying about his so-called aborted baby,
meanwhile he knows that no abortion happened.
“Your uncle is such a liar,” I’m shocked. “You
and Zola lied, he just played along.”
“That’s what fucked up. He’s still making a fool out of Zola.
Why would he know that she lied? That’s disrespectful.” I
can’t believe on top of everything he’sdone, he is still doing
this.
“He was bringing her comfort food and medication to relieve
pain. Are you kidding me right now?” Hawe ma,this senior.
“You are not going to say anything to Zola. This is noneof
your business, stay out of it. Do you want to see whatI got
you?”
“Yes, but let me clap first.” Clap once, clap twice.Mr X
has a special seat in hell.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 69
NOKUZOLA

I have been worried since yesterday after Nale talked

about cancer. I’m next in line and it feels like they’re
taking forever to take me to the examining room. I woke up
feeling better today but I’m not taking it as a positivesign.
Finally, it’s my turn.
I know Dr Zulu, I have been here a number of times.
After telling him why I’m here, he checks my vitals and
tells me to lie down. All I want to hear is that I don’t have
cancer, any infection or disease is okay.
“When last did you have your periods?”
How does that relate to the situation? I’m confused.
“Last month,” I say.
He chuckles, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I’m getting a little nervous. “I took a pregnancytest
and it came back negative.”
“When was that?” he asks.
“I think a week and few days ago.” My heart is racing.This
is not what I came here for.
“Any fatigue, nausea and food you suddenly like?”Fuck. It’s
three yeses.
“Am I pregnant?” God please, I know my sins but notthis.
“Yes, there’s a little one coming. There’s no cancer or
anything you should worry about, you’re experiencing
harmless ligament pain,” he says.
Indeed God has his favorites and I’m not on the list.

Now I’m really pregnant and Xolani thinks I aborted the baby
long time ago. This makes me mad because it means he was
right, he knew that I was pregnant. I know it takes two to
tango but I was not ready for a babyand he knows it. Not just
him, my mom as well, she wassuspiciously asking if I’m not
pregnant when I was home.
How am I going to face my dad? Everything he said
would happen is happening.
I don’t know how I got home without crying. Nale is at work,
I cannot vent to anyone. Now I’m carrying a wholehuman
being with Xolani’s DNA. So he wins; he gets what he
wanted. Food is the only thing that can consoleme until… I
don’t know until when.
.
.
.
Nale gets home, I have watched over hundred videos ofbaby
development and women going into labor. It all
scares the shit out of me. I have an actual human being
that’s going to grow inside of me.
“Hey, how are you feeling? What did the doctor say?”she
asks.
I have been holding tears all day. I can’t anymore; shethrows
down her bag and rushes to me.
“Please don’t tell me they have to remove your womb?”Out
of everything, Nale will think of the most ridiculous
outcome.
“No, I’m pregnant,” I cry.
Her eyes widen, she’s shocked. “How? You were notpregnant
when I bought you a test.”
“It was too early for it to detect,” I say.
“OMG! This is worse than what I thought.” She looks atmy
stomach, covers her mouth and gasps.
I’m not showing yet, my tummy is still flat.
“What am I going to say to Xolani now?” This is why I hate
lying, now I’m caught in a bigger mess that I don’teven
know how I’m going to get out of.
“He knows,” she says.
“What does he know?” I’m lost.
“Nzalo said I mustn’t tell you. Mr X knows that you didn’t go
to any abortion clinic, he’s just playing along with the lie,”
she says.
“How does he know? I was using taxis.”
“We literally have someone watching the house every
night. We should have put one and two together,” she
says.
Okay, I’m angry. I did consent to his people looking afterus
because I understood the security concern, but I didn’t say I
want to be stalked.
“So he’s been acting all this time?”“Unfortunately,
yep.”
We will see how far his acting skills can take him.“Where are
you going now?” She follows me.
I’m changing into my tracksuits and sneakers. I need topay
Idris Elba a visit, I’ve had it with his disrespect. I can’t believe
I was even feeling sorry for him, he’s beenfooling me this
whole time.
.
.
.
Onathi opens the door for me with a frown on her face.
I’m not here for the little brat, I’m here for her cunning
father. I can see that she already has an attitude.
“Where is your dad?” I ask.
“Upstairs,” she says with her nose wrinkled. I
leave her at the door with her creased face.
He’s not in the bedroom, obviously he’s in the studyroom.
I push it open and walk in.
“I always tell you to knock,” he says before turning hishead.
He turns and sees me. “Is everything alright?”
“You are stalking me? Wena you are now invading myprivacy
and rights as a citizen of South Africa.” I reallywant to grab
him with my bare hands but I will never escalate things to that
level.
“I don’t understand. I’m here, how am I stalking you?”
Now he’s acting innocent and I’m the crazy one.
“You have people following me, fool,” I say.
“One person and that’s not something new. You know why I
have to ensure that you’re safe even when you arenot with
me. What is the matter?”
“The matter is, you’re a lying bustard. You have been acting
like you’re hurting, shedding crocodile tears and sobbing.
Knowing very well that you are just fooling me,lezinja
ozifuyile already told you where I was Thursday.”
“What did you want me to do?” he asks.
“Be fuckin’ honest for once in your life Xolani. That’s what
I wanted, don’t pull an act, you’re too old for thatshit,” I
say.
“I don’t think there’s anything I can do right in your eyesat
the moment. I have not acted, every emotion I’ve gone
through has been real. Yes, I am hurting, I’m not
pretending. You hate me, your whole family hates me, I
came close to a place of happiness and came crushing
down again. It’s not nice, there’s nothing I fooled youabout.”
“It serves you right, shosho. Wena ubuwumgodi
onganukwanja, nobody wanted to be around you, not
even your family. I loved you, ngakwenza umuntu.
Ngisho unyoko wayengak’funi wena, even your motherdidn’t
want you. I have never met a last-born who was hated by his
mother. All mothers love their last-born, obviously you have a
problem.” I can see the pain
flashing through his eyes and guess what, I don’t give a
damn. “Are you even sure that you are a Hadebe? I mean,
there must be a reason why her husband didn’t put you on
his will. Wena udinga isiko, you are not normal, go and find
your real dad. Maybe, just maybe, after that you will be easy
to love and you will learn howto respect people.”
I went too low but I don’t know how else to hurt him
back. He doesn’t utter a word, his chest will burst his shirt
buttons if he doesn’t calm down his breaths. His hands are
trembling, he removes them and puts themunder the
desk.
“I hope my child will forgive me for choosing something like
you as a father. I hope he or she takes nothing fromyou. You
have nothing to offer other than what you can use money to
buy. Money is the only good thing you have going on.”
He looks at me, I can see the shock but he remains
silent.
“I’m done, stay well.” I leave him in the trembling statehe
is in.
That went exactly as I wanted. I hit all the nerves, I
broke him the same way he broke me.
.
.
. NZALO

At first he thought Msindisi was in town but it’s late nowand

there’s still no sign of him. He’s worried because nobody
knows where he is. Xolani’s house is the last place Msindisi
would come to but right he’s looking everywhere.
Onathi finally opens the door after he’s knocked foralmost 5
minutes. She was already in bed.
“Hey, unjani?”
“I’m good,” Onathi says.
“Please tell me that Msindisi is here.”
“Umh, nope. I haven’t seen him since dinner.”
“Fuck! Where is babomncane?” He makes his way in.
He hears the voice before Onathi even directs him. Whyis his
uncle talking so loud?
He finds Xolani sitting on the couch, his legs thrown
over.
“Have you been drinking?” Nzalo looks around, thereare
bottles lying down.
No, no, this is not what he needs today.
“Babomncane no man, Msindisi is not home,” he says.
“Msi-ndi…Msi-ndisi? I don’t know who that is. You see
Nzalokayise mfana wami, your grandparents hated me.”It’s
story time this side.
Nzalo sighs, “I’m sorry babomncane but we have anurgent
situation here.”
“Nokuzola is insulting me like this. Like this! What have I
done to her? Ngimenzeni losisi wakwaThabethe ngempela?”
“Babomncane this is not the time. Msindisi is missing,”
Nzalo says, frustrated.
“Msindisi will come back. What about Nokuzola? There’s
nothing good she remembers about me, she called me
umgod’ onganukwanja.” Clearly this is not going anywhere.
Nzalo sighs, “Can you at least go to your bedroom?Onathi
looks scared.”
“Why did your grandparents hate me so much?”“I
don’t know babomncane, bye.”
.
.
. MSINDISI

He had to get his own bodyguards, not Nzalo’s or his uncle’s.

They don’t know where he is and he knows theywill panic,
because to them he’s too stupid to get anything done on his
own. He’s about to face the most- wanted criminal, his
mother’s murderer- someone who
took the most important person from his life.
It had to be Musa’s location, he didn’t trust Msindisi easily.
Him coming with bodyguards is something they didn’t agree
on. It might scare him off but Msindisi camehere purely to
listen to his side of the story. There’s
nothing special about getting Musa locked up.
With bodycam strapped around his body and two
bodyguards outside, Msindisi makes his way in. What he
expects to see is a man who’s been in hiding. Hair unkempt,
skin evident of prolonged sun exposure, and
teeth unfamiliar to a toothbrush. In all this he forgot this
man has been under MaMkhwanazi’s payroll for years.
His eyebrows furrow at first sight. “Are you…?”
Obviously, it’s just the two of them.
Musa’s eyes are behind him. He looks visibly scared. Heis
shorter than what Msindisi imagined. Slim and light skinned.
“I’m alone,” Msindisi says.
“No, you have people with you.”
“I don’t. Are you armed?”
“Yes,” he says.
“Put it away, I will also put mine away.”
There’s no trust between them. Msindisi slowly pulls out
Nzalo’s gun that he stole and puts it on the ground.
Musa is doing the same. Their eyes are locked, just incase one
makes any funny move.
“Chair,” Msindisi says.
“Move closer,” he says.
Msindisi steps closer, he lowers down on the chair and
swallows back, looking relieved.
Msindisi stops two feet away, still staring at him. “I didn’tthink
you’d look like this,” he says.
“I’m not a thug,” Musa says.
“Yes, you are a murderer.”
“It wasn’t my intention,” he says.
Msindisi scoffs and looks away in disgust.“Why?”
he asks.
“Where do I start? Poverty, arranged marriage, family
dynamics and lack of better understanding.”
“Start from the beginning, I have the whole night,”
Msindisi.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 70
“Where did you get my number?”
“From Phindile…don’t worry, she doesn’t know that I’mhere.”
“So she is alive?” He sighs heavily.This is
not what he hoped for.
“For now,” Musa says.
“What do you mean for now?”
“I don’t know what will happen. For now I need to explain
myself to you, she said you are a good listener.First and for
the most, I’m sorry for all the pain I causedto you and your
family.”
Msindisi takes a deep breath. “Why? Why did you do it?”
“I was 24, arranged to get married and broke. I was
presented with an opportunity that I thought would change
my life. Little did I know that would be the end ofmy life.”
“You are alive, my mother is not. You have been living
comfortably, tax-free, and getting everything you want for
yourself and your wife.”
“I understand, that’s how you see it. But I lost my
freedom, there’s no part of my life that I’m proud of andhappy
with.”
Msindisi raises his eyebrow, “Winnie?”
“Winnie is living her life. Yes, she’s the only connectionI’ve had
to the real world. But we don’t hold water, our
parents got us together and that was it. It was because of
that situation that I had to commit a crime that has cost me
my life.” He looks softer than Msindisi expected.Now as he
sits here, no stranger would suspect him of such evil act.
“How did you get out?” Msindisi asks. “They
helped me, it was part of the deal.”“Who is
“they”?” Msindisi.
“My sister…and brother-in-law.”
Msindisi frowns. This doesn’t register. “My dad?”Musa
nods, “Yes.”
“Bustard, you’re lying!” His dad was inconsolable, he
mourned and had a hard time accepting reality. Maybehe
didn’t eat for a week, it was that bad.
“I have no reason to lie,” Musa says.
“You lied about being dead. My dad wouldn’t do suchthing,
you’re lying.”
“Okay. Can I take something from my pocket?”“Slowly,
please.” There’s no trust here.
Musa slowly pulls out an old photograph. It’s somewherein
Hluhluwe, Sbusiso Hadebe was paying him a visit, just a
couple of years ago. It was a week before their wedding
anniversary, MaMkhwanazi had sent him someparcels.
Msindisi looks at the photograph in disbelief. What thehell
is happening? This is his dad, he is not
photoshopped, he can even recognize the outfit he hadon.
“I don’t understand,” he’s weak.
He forgets about Musa and squats on the floor, his hands
on his head. No, no, Hadebe wouldn’t do this tothem. He
could’ve filed for divorce, not kill their motherlike that.
“Why? She was a good woman.” He’s confused.
He had never witnessed them even fight. They alwayslooked
happy.
“I don’t have the whole story but I can assure you that
Phindile and usbari worked together on this. I could have
said no but I was promised heaven and earth.
When you have a background that I had, your main goalin
life is to have money so that you can save your
family.”
No. He needs some fresh air. There’s a small window,he
walks towards it with his hands on the waist and head
thrown back. He’s cursing randomly. This makesno sense.
“Why are you saying all this now? You had many yearsto
come clean,” he asks, turning his head to Musa.
“Phindile kept making promises,” Musa.
“No, you’re talking because your sister can no longer sponsor
your life, she’s on the run. You’re not sorry, youjust ran out of
options.”
Musa takes a deep sigh and watches until he calms
down.
“How did you find her?” Msindisi asks.
“She called me from a garage and told me that you triedto
kill her. I made arrangements and got her to a safe place,”
he says.
“Why haven’t you both turned yourself in?”“I
want my justice first,” he says.
“Your justice. Aren’t you the killer?”
“My life ended at 24, Msindisi. For what? To stay marriedto a
wife who has boyfriends just so she can raise
Onathi for Phindile? There’s nothing good about my life.The
cars and extravagant lifestyle was for Onathi,
Winnie just benefited as a guardian. I was taken for a ride.
Right now it’s my face on posters, I’m the evil killer.
Your dad is resting in his grave and Phindile…she stillthinks I
owe her something.” He takes a deep breath,
this is not his time to vent. He’s not here to buy pity but
rather tell his side of the story. There’s nothing he’s leaving
behind if he dies but he’d like to clear his name.
“What does she want?” Msindisi asks.
“I think you can guess, you know your stepmom by
now,” he says.
“She wants you to kill me?” Msindisi is in disbelief. Howevil
can one person be?
“Not you, your brother. She has a soft spot for you,”Musa
says.
“No, it’s not a soft spot.” He looks away, his lips pursedin
disgust.
It’s way more than just a soft spot.
Musa is now relaxed. He stares at Msindisi’s reaction and
chuckles. “I think she is into you. She praises youeveryday,
she loves the man you’ve become.”
“We are not going there. That woman is going to pay for
what she did to my family and all the things she did to me.”
He faces Musa who’s been staring at his enraged face. “You
will give her to me, that’s the only way you can show me
that you regret what you did.”
“And I will still go to jail,” Musa says, then bites his
thumb nail.
Msindisi looks at him with a slight frown. “Stop doingthat.”
“What?” he asks.
“Biting your nail like a bitch. Where is your sister?”
“I won’t let you kill her. Trust me, you don’t need amurder
case at your age. We have to figure out something else,”
Musa says.
“We are not a team. I don’t trust you, just tell me where she
is and I will handle it. I don’t need you to worry about me, I
have an annoying brother already doing thateveryday.” He
turns his back and tucks his hands in his pockets.
Musa smiles and shakes his head. “You’re feisty. Ithought
you were the soft one.”
Msindisi turns with a side-eye. “The soft Msindisi is
dead, your sister killed and buried him.”
“What exactly happened?” MaMkhwanazi hasn’t told himwhy
her favorite stepson tried killing her. It’s obviously more than
just Thobile’s death.
“None of your business,” Msindisi says.
“I know but if there’s one thing I know, it’s Phindile’s
manipulative ways and evil heart. I have been under her
control my whole life.” He watches as Msindisi
contemplates, in the end he returns back to his squatting
position.
“She tried something with me but it didn’t register to meat
that time. I have been under a spell because now when I
think back, I have been through some disgustingsituations
with her,” he says.
“I knew it, just from the way she speaks about you,”Musa
says.
It disgusts Msindisi more that she’s going around talkingabout
him to his relatives. Old, ugly hag.
“Now I understand why you’re angry,” Musa says.Msindisi
looks at him, “You do?”
“Yeah. Obviously I don’t have a story that relates, I have an
arranged wife who’s having affairs all around Durban, but I
understand.”
“But you love her, it’s really different,” Msindisi says.“Love?”
He laughs.
Love has to be a choice, Winnie was never his choice.
“If I had taken control over my life, trust me it would’ve
turned out way too different. No murder case, no woman,
no problems,” he says.
Msindisi looks at him again. He should be angry at thisman
but before him there were two masterminds, he only
pulled the trigger. “I thought you’d look different
than this.”
“What do you mean?” Musa asks, his thick eyebrow
curved. He hasn't aged at all.
“I thought you’re ugly. Well, that’s how I pictured you.Old,
ugly and dirty.”
“I understand, that’s a fit description because of mypast.”
Their eyes lock.
Msindisi snaps and looks away. It’s been quite amoment, for
sure Nzalo is going crazy at home.
“I need to go,” he says.
Musa sighs, “Thanks for coming and not ratting me out.It was
your mother, I know you wish me the worst but you honored
your promise.”
“I want your sister, not you. Well, at least for now,” hesays.
“I have her but we need to talk about that. We’ll chat as
usual.”
“No problem, stay here until you hear me driving off.”
If Nzalo and his uncle finds out about this meeting they will
think he betrayed the family. But that’s not the case,Musa
should be the last person they worry about, the
police will handle him, “if” they find him. MaMkhwanazi
should be the main culprit here.
And the dead arsehole they used to call a dad.
.
.
.
It’s a few minutes after 11pm, Msindisi arrives home.
The lights are still on, Nzalo is sitting in the lounge aboutto
lose his mind. Mhlengikhaya advised him to report hismissing
gun in the morning because of anything happens, he will be
held responsible.
He stands up when he hears the door opening. This boybetter
have his story together.
“Uphumaphi wena? Huh?” he asks.
Msindisi turns to the kitchen and opens the fridge. “Msindisi,
I’m talking to you, damnit. Where is my gun?”“Here,” Msindisi
pulls it out from his waist.
He doesn’t even care. There’s no remorse, no apology.“Did
you commit any crime?” Nzalo asks.
“No, I did not,” he says, nonchalantly.
“Why are you taking my gun without my permission?
Who gave you that right?”
“I just gave it back to you intact. What do you want? I
didn’t use it, it’s in your hand right now.”
A deep breath is needed, otherwise their mother is goingto
turn in her grave. “Where were you?” Nzalo asks again.
“I went to see an old friend. Do I need to report when I
leave the house now? I thought this was our mother’s
house, yours is in Fairbreeze,” he says.
“If you’re taking my gun, yes you have to report to me.”
“Okay, next time.” He walks away with an apple andyogurt
tub.
Nzalo moved out after he turned 27, they haven’t lived
together in years. Maybe this is the attitude
MaMkhwanazi put up with. It’s too much for him, they
were better living apart. As much as he understands what
Msindisi is going through, his patience is running
thin. He also didn’t know that MaMkhwanazi was behind
their mother’s death. He’s just as mad but he is not
taking it out on anyone.

In his bedroom, Msindisi is done eating. He switches offthe

lights and lies on his back with his knees up,
chatting. Musa got safe to wherever he lives. He just sent
him proof of MaMkhwanazi being alive. It looks likethey’re
together where they are. Musa has nothing to lose or gain at
this point. After the meeting it makes sense why he wants
MaMkhwanazi dead. She took advantage of his family
situation and ruined his life.
Musa didn’t benefit anything, he would’ve been better
behind bars. But no, that wouldn’t have worked in
MaMkhwanazi’s favour. She needed him out and
traditionally married to Winnie so that Onathi would be in
good hands.

I MEANT IT, YOU REALLY LOOK GOOD- this text was

unnecessary, he’s just caught in a good chat. Hopefully Musa
doesn’t find it weird that he keeps pointing out hislooks.

THANK YOU. UNFORTUNATELY IT’S ALL GOING TO

PRISON- he responds with laughing emojis.

I GUESS YOU WILL BE SOMEONE’S TROPHY WIFE-

this is not a sensitive joke because it might be Musa’sreal
fate. But they laugh it off as they exchange more texts.

There’s a smile stuck on his face as they chats more,

they’re both silly. There’s a level of understanding Musahas
for him. It’s something he’s been looking for.
Nobody has been able to give it to him, especially nothis
authoritative brother.
.
.
.
He woke up in high spirits and started off with a shower.He is
not eating out today, he’s making breakfast at
home. He comes out of his bedroom in his shorts andlong
socks.
Urgh, Nzalo is in the kitchen.
“Morning,” he says.
He thought Nzalo would be at work by now.
“Sure,” Nzalo stares at him as he makes his way to the sink.
He’s tapping his fingers, slightly moving his body ina rhythm.
Someone woke up on the right side of the bed. Sadly
Nzalo cannot say the same.
“Do you want me to move out?”
He turns his head, frowning. “Pardon?”
“Your determination to fight with me says you want meto
move out. Is that so or I’m wrong?”
“I have not done anything to you, except taking your gun. So
I don’t understand what you want from me? I’mactually
minding my own business,” he says.
“I thought we are supposed to be united,” Nzalo says.
“Only when it suits you. When it doesn’t you call your
police friends on me and keep me in the dark about
things that affect me as well. You’d rather go to babomncane
whom we didn’t even talk to until recently,than to share
things with me.”
“Okay ngiyaxolisa. Can we put that behind us? I don’t like
where our relationship is heading. You’re the only brother
that I have.”
“Fine, but I know that you are still going to shout at me and
tell me to do things without asking me how I feel,” Msindisi
says with a shrug.
Nzalo shakes his head in despair. MaMkhwanazi really
softened this boy and made him think he’s the center ofthe
universe. “I promise, I won’t. I will ask how you feel before
making decisions. Truce?”
“Yeah,” Msindisi nods.
Nzalo opens his hand, they shake it out.
Msindisi’s phone vibrates, he takes it out of his pocketand
checks. A resisting smile curves on his lips and quickly
disappears as he pulls his face to cover up.
“Mmmm,” Nzalo smiles and walks away.
Nale might have a new friend to gossip with. It’s abouttime,
Msindisi is 25 years old.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 71

Despite of everything that’s going on, Onathi still deserves a

warm home and a dad who’s sober. For the first time in
years, he drank two days in a row and got really drunk.
Yesterday he slept on the couch downstairs
with his shoes on. Onathi wasn’t okay in the morning, he
could see the fear written in her eyes. Even though she’s a
difficult child and often acts tough, he is the only
parent she has to rely on. Him losing himself in alcohol
really worries her.
After a nap, he freshens up and looks for her. He finds her
curled up on the couch, watching TV. She looks up as his
footsteps come closer.
“MaHadebe,” he says.
Onathi shifts her eyes away.
“What are you watching?” he asks, sitting next to her.She
doesn’t respond.
He sighs heavily, “I’m sorry, my princess. I’m going
through a rough time, I promise you this is not going tobe a
habit at all. Today we will go out and have dinner. And you
will get the car but there will be conditions.”
She looks at him, her face brightening. “Really?”
“Yeah. Do you forgive me now?”
“Yes, but you have to accept if she wants nothing to dowith
you. Don’t be desperate, you’re a hot daddy,” shesays.
He laughs at “hot daddy”. But accepting that Nokuzola wants
nothing to do with him is what he’s been struggling with, to
say the least. There’s a lot on his mind, including identity
confusion. Nokuzola didn’t raise something he has never
thought about, he did question his paternity when
everything played out. But his motherangrily assured him
that he is Hadebe, just entitled and not fit to handle family
finances. He also looks like his
father’s cousin, a Hadebe family member. Nzalo took
after him, which furtherly gave him confirmation that heis a
Hadebe. That was back then, now he’s questioning
everything again. The difference this time is that his mother
is not around to answer questions.
“I hate her,” Onathi says.He
frowns, “Who?”
“Your girlfriend, all she does is hurt you.”
It’s good to see that his daughter cares about him. Buthe’s
trying to build a family, hate shouldn’t be a word anyone use.
“I made a mistake and then ruined things more by tryingto
save our relationship. I should have let things happen
naturally, I just hate it when I don’t have control, especially
in a situation like that.”
“That doesn’t mean she must walk all over you and turn you
into a zombie. How many physiologic tremors have you had
everytime she speaks to you?”
“Okay, let’s drop it,” he says.
“No Xolani, you don’t have to be desperate. At this point
you’re both even, she is not better than you, she hurts you
as well. Stop sucking up to her.”
He takes a deep breath and then breaks the news toher.
“She is pregnant.”
“Whaaaat?” Oh no, she just got here and there’s alreadya
sibling on the way.
“She told me when she came here,” he says.
“So you’re having a baby?” She’s blinking rapidly,looking at
him shocked.
“Yes,” he nods.
She gets up and storms off. This is not the reaction he
expected. Yes, it hasn’t been long since they got to know
about each other, but a baby is not going to change
anything.
He follows her to her shut bedroom and knocks outside.
“Please Onathi, let’s talk,” he begs.
“No!!!!” Onathi yells, she’s crying.
Indeed when it rains, it pours.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

As much as I’d like to join Zola in being angry at Mr X, I have

pressing matters to discuss with him. I’m lucky he didn’t go
to work today, he’s home with Onathi. It’s been a minute
since I saw his little brat.
“Hello, trust-fund baby,” I say walking in.
“You’ve been a stranger,” she says, coming to hug me.“I
was busy with work and my other projects.”
“Oh, how is that coming? Your other projects.” She thinks
I’m talking about business projects, I was just
referring to things like sex-making and work-gossip-
collecting projects.
“Very good, thank you. Which direction to your dad?”
“Follow me right through this door, you’re lucky he is not
drunk today.”
“Mr X gets drunk?” I’m shocked.
I thought I would be the only one locked out of heaven.
“Because of your sister, obviously,” she says.
“Let’s not even go there, I will see you before I leave.” Ihave
spotted Mr X in his casual, floral shorts and sunglasses by the
pool. He is in his rich, black man element.

I spot a liquor glass next to him.

“You are here already,” he says, taking his sunglasses off.
“What are you here for this time? To take my words,twist
them and lie to Nokuzola.”
Whoah, madala! He’s on high speed, I’m not here for his
affairs.
“Twist your words?” I’m confused, I thought him and Imade
peace.
“Nokuzola is under the impression that I knew that she’s
pregnant and did that on purpose because you told her so,”
he says.
“I didn’t. I only told her what you told me.” I don’t see what I
did wrong. He implied that Zola will have a baby,
which has turned out to be true. That’s exactly what Itold
Zola.
“Why?” he asks. “What
do you mean?”
“Why are you taking information back and forth? Are youa
high school girl?”
“That’s my cousin and my niece. You make it sound likeI
lied.”
“You did. I only said to you, I sent my delegate to protectmy
relationship and our future to make sure that our baby
arrives in a healthy home that has two parents. I didn’t say
she was pregnant, I wouldn’t have known that,I was speaking
for the future.”
To be honest, I really don’t care. I have moved past that.“I’m
not here to talk about your relationship,” I say.
“For once you are not, thank God.” He rests back on hispool
chair, “I’m listening.”
Well, it looks like we are back to square one- hatingeach
other’s guts.
“This is about Msindisi and I’d like it to be confidential,” Isay.
“I’m surprised you know the word. Go on,” he’s utterly
disrespectful.
But I continue. My main concern right now is him
communicating with Musa, yesterday he disappeared with
Nzalo’s gun and came at 11pm, refusing to explainwhere he
was.
Mr X is looking at me like I’m a pyscho, making all thisup.
“He told me,” I say.“Are
you friends?”
“I can say he trusts me.”
He sits up straight and sighs. “Nale, I hope this is notone of
your twisted, exaggerated lies.”
“You cannot believe me if you want, but I’m telling youthis
because he begged me not to tell Nzalo and knowing how
Nzalo is, I know he will confront him rightaway.”
“Bullshit! This boy has lost his mind. The police are looking for
Musa, instead of taking the chat to them he’sbusy hiding it.”
Now he believes me.
One thing about me, I never lie, ngiwumlomo ongathethi
manga, unless necessary of course.
“How long has this been going on?” he asks. “I
don’t know, he told me last week,” I say.
“Okay, thank you for bringing this to my attention.”
I wanted to ask him to advise him against the advances
towards me but he’s not in a good mood, this might not be
the right time. One problem at a time.
“I have to get going,” I have to go home and rest. “Oh,Mr
X please keep me anonymous,” I say.
“Don’t worry, I will find a safer way to deal with it,” hesays.
.
.
.
I think Msindisi has a third eye with zoom lenses. We haven’t
spoken since we went out together and he said what he said,
but today he wants to see me. I wouldn’t have felt some
type of way towards his request if he didn’t make the
comments he made, but now it feels likeI’m betraying my
boyfriend. This feels wrong but I want
to know what he wants. I don’t think Mr X has confrontedthe
situation yet. I hope he’s realized his mistakes and coming
here to take back his words.
Zola will judge, I just know that.
“Where are you going?” She’s looking at the pants I just
changed into.
“Outside, Msindisi is pulling up, he wants to talk,” I say.
“To toast you, you mean. Jesus Nalenhle, you know if Nzalo
finds about this he’s not just going to question hisloyalty
alone but yours as well.” She doesn’t understandbecause
she doesn’t know Msindisi.
I know him, I know he’s going through something andwill
soon get his act together. He needs support and guidance,
which I hope Mr X will provide after today.
“He could be here to apologize for his advances,” I say.
“Still, Nzalo should be aware because either way he’sgoing to
find out in the end. Nothing stays hidden
forever,” she says.
My phone buzzes up. I have to go, I will deal with Mary
when I come back. I hope Msindisi proves me right and not
continue with that madness of his.

The first thing I notice is a smile. I don’t know when was the
last time I saw him dressed up and glowing like this.
Msindisi’s closet can cloth a whole village. We exchange
greetings, he looks happy. I pull back when he tries giving me
a hug.
“Ouch, you’re still mad at me,” he says.
“Not really. What’s up?” I don’t want to delay this.
“Let’s get inside the car,” he says and opens thepassenger
door for me.
I get inside, he enters from his side and rolls up the windows.
His car is tinted, I’m not comfortable, at this point I do
question his state of mind. Nzalo complains alot about his
impulsiveness and rudeness.
“I hope this is important,” I say.
He chuckles, “Hhayi-bo, are we enemies now?”“No,
but you know where we stand.”
“Okay, it’s not about that. I saw Musa.”
“He sent you a picture?”
“I met him,” he says.
“Holy goat!” I have ran out of exclamation phrases.This
month it’s been bomb after bomb.
“He is not what I thought he was. I mean, he looks cuteand
harmless.”
“What? He’s a murderer who faked his own death,” Iremind
him.
“I know but his side of the story is understandable,” he
says.
“You mean you understand why your mother wasmurdered?”
“No, not at all. I understand how he got involved, he was
hired to do it by MaMkhwanazi and the other person,” he
says.
“But we already knew that, it doesn’t make him less guilty.
What did he say? He wants forgiveness?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he nods.
“His apology should be him handing himself over.” “He
knows that but we have a situation to take care of
first. MaMkhwanazi, she is alive.” Now it’s no longer an“I”
but “we”. Wonders shall never end!
“Where is she?” I ask.
“She’s with him, she’s been sending me white lilies. Shewants
Musa to kill Nzalo,” he says.
“What? No, they’re messing with the wrong one,” I say
cocking my imaginary gun. Not my boyfriend shem, never.
“He won’t,” he assures me.
“How do you know?”
“Because he’s seen the light. MaMkhwanazi won’t knowwhat
hits her,” he says with a little smug on his face.
“Wait Msindisi, you are now a tag-team with him?” I ask.“Not
really, I want MaMkhwanazi dead, just as he does.
She’s put us through some shit. I’m even better than
him, at least I haven’t been living my whole life as an
announced dad man in a foreign village while being tiedto
an arranged wife so that she can take care of my
manipulator’s daughter.”
He has a lot of sympathy for Musa and none for his brother.
I have not seen him trying to understand his brother or uncle
to this extent. But he’s willing to openhis mind and heart for
Musa. Truly awumbiwa ndawonye.
“At this point I think you should tell Nzalo, he’s beingtargeted
to be murdered by the same person who murdered his
mother,” I suggest.
“It won’t happen, I will protect my brother,” he says.
No offense but even a cat wouldn’t believe if Msindisi said
he’d protect it. He doesn’t have that thing. I knowhis
switch can go off too but nope, this is bigger than him.
“I’m begging you, tell him,” I say.
“No Nalenhle, I’m only telling you this because you don’tlook
at me as a nobody and I trust you.” He stares into my eyes
until I give in and give him my word. “Fine, I won’t tell,” I say.
The first person I’m calling after this is Mr X. There’s noway
I’m going to trust Msindisi with Nzalo’s life. I wouldn’t even
trust him with a cockroach’s life.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 72
NOKUZOLA

I have regretted some things I said to him but I didn’t reach

out. It’s how he does things too; hurt me and notapologize. He
hasn’t said anything since that day, this
text of him wanting to see me is the first communication
attempt. I don’t want to see him, I have nothing to say tohim
and there’s nothing I want to hear from him. But nowthere’s
someone on the way, it changes our relationship completely.
Out of respect, my parents have to know soon. So him and I
need to have a conversation regarding that.

I’m not going to his house, I requested to meet in a

coffee shop, which is a fair distance for both of us. Nalewent
to town from work, hopefully I will be back before her. I
take a taxi and find his car already parked outsidethe coffee
shop.
My heart instantly gets heavy as my eyes find his table. Iknow
he doesn’t think about this or care to say the least,but I loved
him. I would’ve done anything to keep him happy, that’s how
much I loved him, and he knew it.
“Hi,” he gets up and pulls the chair for me.
I sit and take a deep breath. This is a public space, I don’t
want to break down or act crazy. I want us to havea
conversation as two adults expecting a baby together.
“I was going to send a car but then I thought maybe youwon’t
like that,” he says.
“I’d like you to get straight to the point, please.” I want
this to be quick as possible.
If it was up to me we wouldn’t even be getting thesemenus.
I’m not here for muffins.
He puts down his order, I pass, the waiter goes away.“You
already ate?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer, not that it concerns him.
I think it’s obvious from my face that I don’t want anysmall
talks.
“I have never done this before, I don’t know where we
start and how we go about it,” he says.
“Then consult elders who are before you,” I say.
I’m younger than him, if he doesn’t know how will I
know?
“I can take care of that aspect. What I’m trying to figureout
is if I need to do anything for you, physically and
emotionally,” he says.
“Nope, nothing,” I say.
“Maternity check-ups expenses?”
“I won’t start yet,” I say.
“Is it not safe to start earlier?”
“I won’t start yet.” I don’t know which part of this is hardfor
him to understand. Or is it that I’m making a decision?
“Okay, but I have to make your life comfortable throughthis.”
“You mean take care of me? Be frank,” I say.
“I don’t know what you want me to do and not want meto
do. It’s hard doing things like this but I want to be
involved.” His voice carries a ton of sadness.
For the first time it feels like he’s not above me andmaking
decisions.
“For now you only have to take care of the traditional
aspect of this. I will tell you when I start the maternity
check-ups and anytime I need you,” I say.
“Can I give you the car back? For the safety of both of
you.”
“No,” I refuse.
A lot of women have used public transport while pregnant
and nothing happened to them. My mother used public
transport while carrying me and here I am,kicking.
“What can I do?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I say. One thing he cannot accept is me not
needing his help. I work, I can take care of myself and buy
myself whatever I crave. I don’t need him, for now.
His coffee comes with two muffins. I won’t lie they lookgood
but I value my ego more.
“Do you want some?” he asks.I
look away, “Nope.”
“Don’t starve my baby,” he says, smiling.
Nope, we are not that couple. There’s no bonding over“my
baby”.
“You were right,” he says and takes a deep breath.“About
what?” I ask even though I’m never wrong.
“A lot of people don’t like me, especially those who are
supposed to, the ones I share blood with,” he says.
I really don’t want to revisit that, I said what I said, justlike
he did what he did.
“I should have appreciated you more,” he says.
“Well, I’m glad you finally know that.” Hell it took himtime.
I thought it would knock his senses sooner, before wegot to
this position.
“I have been knowing that, my actions may have painteda
different picture to you but there was never a time where I
felt like you deserve less,” he says.
“Then you shouldn’t have let me think that. I talked to you,
Xolani, over and over again. You could’ve at least
felt sorry for me, I sounded like a broken record, but youstill
kept her in your life and made it sound like I was delusional
and insecure.” I hate his deceptive actions
more than cheating itself. I would be okay if he cameback
from Hluhluwe and tried to get rid of her. That would have
been someone who is remorseful. But
Xolani didn’t do that, he kept her.“I
understand,” he says.
“Okay,” I’m not trying to have a different version of
thisconversation.
It’s okay, it’s done.
“Ngiyak’thanda Nokuzola. That’s the truth I can die for, Ilove
you. And I regret that my actions have made you question
that,” he says.
“They sure did and it will take time for me to trust anybody
again with my heart. I have a big heart but it’svery fragile,” I
say.
“I’m going to do everything in my power to prove how much
I love you.” Here we go again, he wants to do everything in
his power and to him that just means crazystunts.
“No, don’t do what is in your power,” I say.“I’m
confused,” he says.
“We are here because of your use of power, otherwise this
wouldn’t have escalated this far. So please, I don’t want to
see you doing things in your power.”
“Okay,” he says. But he still looks confused.
I also don’t know what that means exactly, he must
figure it out.
I have to get going, I left my work uniform in the washingline.
“Are you going to “use” the other muffin?” I ask.“No,
you can take it,” he says.
“Thank you,” I grab it and make my way out.
.
.
.
XOLANI HADEBE

Nalenhle asked to stay anonymous but now Nzalo’s lifeis in

danger. This cannot be kept a secret from him. Heneeds to
stay alert until Musa and MaMkhwanazi are caught. That’s
why Nzalo is here, he’s about to find out.
Xolani offers him a drink but it’s alcoholic and this is acoffee
boy.
“I need you to keep a cool head with what I’m about totell
you,” he says.
Nzalo slightly frowns, “What is that?”
“It’s about Musa,” he says.
“I’m listening,” he’s emotionally exhausted before even
hearing about it.
If it was up to him this would be over by now.
“Your brother has been talking to him,” Xolani says.
“Msindisi?” He’s confused.
Msindisi has never met Musa, none of them have. How
would he communicate with Musa?
“Yes, they have met as well and he disclosed thatPhindile is
still alive,” Xolani says.
Nzalo’s jaw is on the floor. Is this verified information?“Not
just that, he was asked by Phindile to kill you,”
Xolani.
“Oh wow!” he laughs sarcastically.
Now he is the target? They have time to play.“Did
Msindisi tell you this?” he asks.
“No, he told Nalenhle and she told me.” “My
Nalenhle?” His finger points his chest.
The same Nalenhle he just talked to while pulling up
here?
“Yes, Msindisi asked her not to tell anybody,” Xolanisays.
“But I’m not “anybody” to Nalenhle. I’m being targeted,
someone is out there baying for my blood and my
girlfriend cannot tell me?” This makes him furious.
He’s been having problems with Msindisi. It doesn’tsurprise
him that much, but Nalenhle!
“I can call her here to confirm, she came here to tell me two
days ago. Yesterday she updated me, Msindisi told her that
they have met in person,” Xolani says.
“Please, I want to hear from her.” He paces around with his
hand on his waist. “Where is that drink you offered?”
Xolani points with his head, he’s making a phone call.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Mr X has no timing but I’m on my way because he senta car

to pick me up. Maybe he has an update, he’s managed to
put a stop to Msindisi’s madness. We pull up and I notice
Nzalo’s car on the driveway. Are we having a family dinner?
I should have been told earlier, I would have missed work
and came to prepare salads. I’m not dressed foroccasion, I
just left in my leggings, baggy T-shirt and crocs. I make my
way in, if need to be Onathi will lendme a dress to look
good at the table.
Mr X welcomes me with a glass of juice. He has his owndrink
too. But I’m not smelling any stew.
“This way,” he leads me to the dining room.
I expect to walk in to a table laid and chefs standing
around. But Nzalo is pacing around with a beer in his
hand. This is not the scenario I had in mind.
I turn to Mr X, “What’s going on?”
“Oh, I just told Nzalokayise what you told me.”
What the fuck? Is he kidding me right now?
“You did what?” I’m whispering but Nzalo can see mefine.
“I only told him what you told me,” he says.
“Wow, great!” This explains why Nzalo looks furious.
Now I’m in trouble because I tried helping this family.I
turn to him, if a look could kill, I’d be dead by now. “I
was scared to tell you,” I say.
“Scared to tell me that someone wants to kill me?” He’s
angry, there’s nothing I’m going to say that he will listen to
right now.
“Msindisi begged me not to tell you, so I told your uncle,”I
say.
“I don’t care even if the president himself begged you not to
tell me. Someone wants to kill me and you shareda bed with
me not so long ago, knowing very well that someone is
targeting me.”
“That’s not true, I only found out about that yesterday,” Isay.
“24 hours ago, I could have died anywhere in between.
Keeping a promise to Msindisi is more important than my
life to you, right?”
“No, it’s not, that’s why I told Mr X,” I say.
“But my life is in danger, not his. Why are you doing this to
me? It’s okay to care more about stupid promises, but not
when my life is threatened.”
“Fine, I’m sorry,” I say.
“No, fuck your sorry!”
This is not how I pictured this. He storms out furiously, Iwill
call him after an hour or so, he would be calm.

Now back to this coffin-dodger, I can’t believe he’s expecting a

child and acting so childish. There was noneed for this.
“I was helping your family,” I’m annoyed.
“And I appreciate that malokazana wakwami. Have I done
anything wrong?” he asks with a smug look on hisface. He’s
enjoying this.
“I asked you not to tell Nzalo, at least not directly. And you
went ahead, downloaded everything I told you in
confidence to him, then called me to come and witness
everything going down. Yini? Nothing stays in your chest? A
horse kicked you?”
He laughs, “You are so funny. I didn’t do anything wrongto be
honest. I just took the information you gave me to him.”
“To gain what? You could have solved this
without….Mxm, why am I even explaining this to you?”I’m
not standing for the smug look on his face, he lackscommon
sense. He is what people call an old fool and I’m never
going to speak to him again.
Now I have to figure out how I plead my case to Nzalo.Mr X
will regret this.
2023/10/10, 11:18 - TSI: HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 73

Nzalo walks in and kicks the door behind him. Msindisi looks
up from the lounge sofa where he’s playing videogames. He
can see that Nzalo looks ready to fight.
That’s just the latest norm, nothing unusual in thishouse.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“I thought you were just dealing with the new harsh reality
but now I realize you are actually turning into anenemy. My
own brother!” Nzalo paces around the sofa,rubbing his
hands together. He needs to move, otherwise this will start
badly.
Msindisi looks at him, for now he’s confused.
“You met with someone who murdered our mother, now
planning to take me out as well, and my own brother won’t
even warn me. What is it? You want me dead.”
Msindisi sighs. “So that's what this is about? Hhayi-bo
relax, nobody wants you dead except MaMkhwanazi.”
“I didn’t even know that she’s alive, you told us that you killed
her. I have been going around unarmed this wholeweek,
anything could have happen to me.”
“But he doesn’t intend to kill you, that’s why I didn’t tellyou,”
Msindisi says.
“You told my girlfriend and asked her not to tell me. ButI’m
not addressing that right now, it will follow.” It will
take a miracle for him to ever trust Msindisi again. This
is not a joke, there’s a serious murder case going onand
two people on the run- supposedly.
“You are not dead because I’m making sure that doesn’t
happen,” Msindisi says. There’s no remorse from his side.
He’s handled this well so far, Musa even agreed tochange
MaMkhwanazi’s location.
“I don’t care, if anyone told me that someone was
planning to kill you the first thing I’d do is let you knowso
that you stay alert. This is bullshit, unikela ngami ezitheni
wena. If Nale didn’t tell babomncane, would Ihave ever
known about this?”
“You are yelling so I’m going to withdraw from the
conversation,” Msindisi says and goes back to his video
game. This is just one example of the reasons why he
finds it hard to talk to Nzalo. The pacing around, firm and
raised voice. This is not how he wants to be talkedto.
“Why did you tell Nalenhle?” Nzalo asks. “Because I
felt comfortable telling her,” he says. “That’s fine but
what is not fine is you teaching my
girlfriend to keep secrets from me. Why are you creating
trust issues between us? What is your intention?”
Msindisi pauses with a frown and looks at him. “That’s
ridiculous. How am I creating trust issues?”
“By telling her something that concerns my life and safety,
then ask her not to tell me. You have constantlydisrespected
my relationship, which I let slide most of the times. But not
this, you have no right to ask my
girlfriend to keep secrets from me. Just like you had no right
to get her drunk and no right to just take her out to a club
without asking me how I feel about.”
“Oh, that made you angry? You could have just
mentioned it. But Nalenhle is a grown woman, she can go
out with whoever she wants without asking for your
permissions. And so do I.”
Nzalo nods vigorously and counts a few breaths before
taking a seat. Now he knows where he stands with Msindisi.
This is not a brother-looks-out-for-a-brother situation. He is
on his own and the sooner he accepts
that, the less expectations he will have.
“You know this is what dad and babomncane went
through. I didn’t think our relationship would turn out like
this too. But now you’ve made it clear. Ever since I tookover
the company, you have never respected me, whichis fine
because it’s our business, anything that affects it,affects
both of us. You are disrespecting my relationshipevery
chance you get and now befriending people who have told
you that they want me dead.”
“You are very quick to play victim. When you had yourown
meltdown for two weeks straight, holding people hostage and
running DNA tests, who was running thebusiness?”
“You did, as expected to be,” Nzalo says.
“And now you cannot understand when I need time out
because I’m not in a good mental space?”
“Hey wena, I asked you when do you plan to come back to
work and you said whenever you feel like. Sometimes it’s not
what you say, it’s how you say it,” Nzalo says.
“Oh, now it’s not disrespect, it’s how I say things? Okay,fine.
When you held MaMkhwanazi hostage did you allow me to
see her when I asked to?”
“I didn’t because I didn’t trust you at that moment. You
didn’t even believe that she was guilty of something, you
wanted her home,” Nzalo says.
“Okay, I also don’t trust you at the moment," he says.
“This has nothing to do with trust, you just have to care
enough. But I understand you don’t owe me anything, I will
look out for myself. What I will appreciate from you, now
onwards, is just you staying away from Nalenhle.”
“I will, if she tells me to stay away from her,” Msindisisays.
“Are you sure you want it to take that turn?” Nzalo getsup,
rolling his sleeves.
Msindisi remains seated and unbothered.
“You will stay away from Nalenhle. Do you hear me?”Nzalo
grabs him up with his T-shirt.
He’s still not bothered.
“Do you understand? Do your thing but keep my nameand
my girlfriend out of it.” He’s about to throw a fist,
Xolani makes his way in and pushes him away. Eventhough
they didn’t come to a conclusion, they heard each other.
Now he’s here with his two cents.
Msindisi gets in the staring contest with him.
“You are fucking up and messing with your brother’s life.This
is not the time to prove your power, your mother’s life was
taken, now your brother’s is threatened,” he says.
“Is it only you and him who can have a say and make
decision regarding the situation?”
“No, we have to collectively do it,” Xolani says. “Did
you tell Nzalo that when he excluded me?”
“Nobody was threatening your life, that’s a total different
situation. When was the last time he contacted you?”
Msindisi folds his arm and looks away. He is notparticipating in
this gang-up interrogation.
“Are you aware that you can go to jail for this?” Xolani
asks.
Silence!
“Msindisi, I’m talking to you,” -Xolani.
Undisturbed silence!
Nzalo gives him a look; this is what he deals with
everyday.
“Can I have his number?” he asks.
Msindisi remains silent. Xolani realizes that this won’t be
fruitful, now he will have no choice but to violate Msindisi’s
privacy and put him under watch. Taking it to
the police won’t help the situation, Nzalo has taken him
down that road and that’s one of the things that makehim
mad.
“Okay, you don’t want to talk about it. What would you like
to see happening now? Do you guys still want to live
together?”
He doesn’t speak. Xolani turns his eyes to Nzalo.“I’m
moving back to my house,” Nzalo says.
“Are you okay being here on your own or you want to
move in with me?” he asks Msindisi.
He’s met with the same silence. He has wanted to be a father
his whole life and now, out of the blue, his brotherleaves him
with Msindisi and Onathi pops up. He’s
definitely getting wrinkles and health problems soon
from these two.
He looks at Nzalo and asks, “When are you moving
out?”
“Today, I only have my clothes and electronics to pack,”Nzalo
says.
“I will be here until you separate,” he says.
Msindisi has returned to his video-game. His attitude has
never been like this before. If no intervention is done, he
will get out of control and lose everyone closeto him. There
has to be cameras all around this house capturing every
move he makes.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Nzalo moved back to Fairbreeze, this is exactly what I feared. I

trusted the wrong person, someone who can’teven respect his
relationship. He’s ruined the
brotherhood and I know Nzalo blames me, while Msindisi
regrets our friendship. If there was no baby onthe way I
would have ruined his relationship with Zola
too. Something he already accuses me of but not even once
have I ever said anything against him to Zola. I have made fun
of him, yes. Also criticized his generosityand age shamed him.
But I have never tried to break
them apart.

I’m here uninvited, Nzalo hasn’t spoken to me since

yesterday. I don’t know how I’m going to convince himthat I
didn’t keep Msindisi’s secret because I wanted something
bad to happen to him.
He lets me inside with a hard face that screams “bitch, you’re
not welcome.” I make my way in, we haven’t beenhere in a
long time. I have my overnight bag packed witha set of sexy
underwear. He sits on his laptop after exchanging a cold
greeting.
I assign myself to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee.I
serve it with cheese sandwich.
He looks up when I put it in front of him. A way to aman’s
heart is through his stomach, right?
“This is not going to work Nale,” he says.
“What’s not going to work? I’m just giving you coffee.”“You
can’t break my heart and fix my stomach.”
“But how did I break your heart? I did what I thought wasthe
best. I told your uncle, I didn’t want Msindisi lose his trust in
me.”
“Whose girlfriend are you?” he asks.
“Yours,” I say.
“What did you tell Msindisi for him to think that he can
come between us?”
“How did he come between us?” I’m confused. “Him
telling you things and asking you to keep them
from me is him coming between us. So I want to know
why you gave him that platform? He’s disrespected meenough
and you’re the one enabling his behavior.”
At this point I think even the Titanic sank because of me.
Everyone just blames me when things go wrong in their lives.
How the hell did I make Msindisi disrespect him?
“I have done nothing but what's best for the both of you,”I
say.
“When did you plan going out with him last Friday?”I’m
not sure why this is coming up.
“I can’t remember,” I say.
“Neither one of you thought it was okay to ask me. Youonly
told me when you were about to leave, Msindisi didn’t say
anything. Not very long ago I had asked you
to make boundaries. Why am I getting so much
disrespect?”
“But if you didn’t want me to go out with him you could
have just told me so.” Oh my goodness, I can’t believehe’s
been boiling these things in. I thought he said he will
communicate better now.
“And what difference would it have made? You had already
made your plans. Now I want to know what youtold him
about me for him to think you can hide things
from me?”
“I didn’t say anything,” I say.
“You’re friends, right? That’s what you call it. I also have
friends and they have never said or done anything that could
offend or harm you and then trusted me not to let you
know. Do you know why? Because they know that you come
first, your injury is my injury.”
But I told his fuckin’ uncle, I was protecting him. Howmany
times have I advised Msindisi to respect him? How did I
give him a platform to disrespect Nzalo?
“Do you love me?” he asks.
“Of course I do.” I never come to a guy’s house uninvited
and start serving them food like a wife.
I’m only here because I love him.
“If you found out that information about Zola I know thatyou
would’ve told her without any hesitation. Nobody can say
anything to you about Zola, you take it straight
to her. But everyone can talk to you about me. They can
even plan to kill me and you won’t advise me to stay
armed and alert.”
“He is your brother, I didn’t want to ruin yourrelationship,” I
say.
“He already ruined it, I will never trust him again. And I
want your friendship or whatever you call it to end,” he
says.
“That’s not fair though, now you want me to inherit your
family feuds. You share blood, next week you can make
peace, where will that leave me?” Not so long ago he had a
shaky relationship with Mr X and now they have made
peace.
“Nalenhle, you said you love me. I want you to stick by my
side. Someone is out there planning my murder, thisis a war.
And there are no neutral grounds in a war; if you are not on
my side, you are the enemy,” he says.
“I'm not your enemy. Msindisi is not your enemy either, he
wants to fight for you. He wants to prove himself to you and
the way you keep shutting him down is not helping the
situation. Give him a little voice, please baby.Even if you are
not hearing him, for once pretend like you hear him and you
believe in him. You’re not a good listener and that’s the
problem.”
“So being a good listener is going to protect me from being
killed? He killed my mother and now he’s my brother’s best
friend. And you want to put that on me?”
Fuck, this man is so stubborn! This shouldn’t have beenso
complicated. He’s moved out, Mr X is obviously on
his side, this is exactly what’s going to push Msindisi toMusa’s
company.
“All I’m saying is that you could have listened to him calmly,
gotten his side of the story and his plans. Then pretended to
support his plans, regardless of how stupidyou think they
are, that way he would have trusted you. Don’t you think you
will win this battle by being united asbrothers? Msindisi
wants justice, just like you, but you keep shutting him
down.”
“Msindisi is disrespectful, I have been a bigger personand
now I’m tired,” he says.
Isn’t he the bigger person by birth anyway? I don’t think he
will hear me, no matter how hard I try to explain thisto him.
“I don’t want you to talk to him again, he will end up doing
something that’s going to ruin our relationship forgood,” he
says.
“And what is that?” I ask.
“The same thing that our father did to babomncane. I can
see that’s where he’s going and I don’t want it to getto that
point because there will be no coming back.” He picks the
coffee he rejected not so long ago. He takes asip and then
puts it back.
He looks at me, “It’s cold.”
“Okay,” I’m not surprised. That’s how coffee is; it getscold if
you don’t drink it immediately.
“Wow!” he gets up and takes it to the kitchen.
Wait, was I supposed to go and make him another one?

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 74 MSINDISI

He’s on their side but they think he is not. He cannot shake

off the feeling that he’s being watched. He boughta new
phone and got a simcard from the roadside, already
registered on someone else’s name. He can no longer use his
phone to communicate with Musa. They have to meet
tonight, he will hire a car to go to him, he doesn’t trust any
of the vehicles in the yard.
He’s about to make something to eat when Xolani arrives
with cooked food. Their relationship was not solid, he didn’t
expect him to choose his side. But he didn't have to blatantly
take Nzalo’s side, he could haveat least stayed neutral.
“How is it going?” he asks, putting the food container onthe
counter.
“I’m okay,” Msindisi says.
Xolani looks at him. “Where are you going?”“Out,”
he says.
“Out where?”
Sigh!
“Can I help you with anything babomncane?” He doesn’twant
to be interrogated. He’s an adult, he can go out
without informing anyone.
“No, I just brought you dinner. I’m sure you are notcooking
here.”
“Thanks,” he says.
Xolani’s eyes don’t leave him, he suspects something.“Can I
ask you a question?”
“No, you can’t,” he says.
Xolani heaves a deep sigh.
“You know Onathi was confused and angry when she moved
in with me. We didn’t get along, we still have ourmoments,
but things got better once she started seeinga therapist."
“Good for her,” Msindisi says.
“I think it can also work for you.”
“I don’t need therapy,” Msindisi says.
“What is it that you want? Justice, we all want that.
Phindile is Onathi’s mother but she understands why Iwant
her in jail. Can’t we all put our differences aside and work
together on this?”
“What have I done wrong babomncane? Why are you
addressing me and telling me that I need therapy? If it
wasn’t for me you wouldn’t even know what they are
planning.”
“If it wasn’t for you Phindile wouldn’t have escaped, she
wouldn’t be in a position to plan anyone’s murder. Do you
not see why your brother feels betrayed?”
“No, because if he had let me see her when I asked to, I
would have gotten my answers from her and maybe I would
have healed. We are here because Nzalo never give me the
benefit of a doubt. He knows that my story with ncane is
deeper. He left Lwethu and I in her care
two years after our mother’s death.”
“Okay, I understand,” Xolani says.
“Good, because I don’t want to keep explaining myself
to someone who never listens to me. Now he’s mad thatI
talk to Nale instead of asking himself why I’d be comfortable
with someone I’ve only known for half a year over him.”
“Is it okay if I call a meeting with both of you?” Xolani
asks.
“No, he moved me out of dad’s house and brought mehere,
knowing how much I fear being alone here.
Something he can also relate to, because he only slept here if
he had Nale’s company. But now he’s moved outand gone
back to Fairbreeze. I don’t want any meeting, Iwant to be left
alone,” he says.
“Okay,” Xolani nods.
He’s trying his best. Msindisi has his own side of the
story, it’s different from Nzalo’s. Until they calm down
and listen to each other, nothing will be resolved.
.
.
.

This may not be what a real restaurant would look likebut

he’s tried his best to imitate the atmosphere. A cardrops
Musa outside, Msindisi opens the gate and lets him in. He
booked this place for the night. It’s very secure and
secluded, there’s enough privacy for the
fugitive to have a free night. The plan is to discusseverything
regarding MaMkhwanazi.
Msindisi now owns an illegal firearm since Nzalo took his
gun. They’ve been talking for some time and have mutual
understanding, but trust is still not solid.
Musa has a black raincoat pulled down to his forehead.He
takes it off as soon as they’re inside.
“No cameras?” he asks.
“No, they have them outside but I turned off the outsidelight,”
Msindisi says.
“Okay.” He takes his shoes off and sits down with aheavy
sigh.
He’s been living like this for the past decade. It gets
stressful, especially now that his story is known all overthe
country.
“How is Winnie?” Msindisi asks. He
chuckles, “I don’t know, man.”“Do
you still talk?” Msindisi.
“She has to survive, with Phindile dry and missing inaction,
there’s really nothing to reach out for. But I believe she’s
good.” Winnie switched side, he knows
that if she finds out where he is she will run to the police.It’s
what good for her image right now.
“Wena? You’ve been sour this week,” he says.
Msindisi chuckles, “Sour? I have been just a bit upset
about certain things.”
“Let me guess, your brother?”“I
dislike him,” Msindisi says. “Is it
that bad?” Musa asks.
“I will never be good at anything in his eyes. I had someone I
was talking to, generally, and that pissed himoff because she’s
his girlfriend, so he told her not to everspeak to me again.”
“Maybe he doesn’t trust you. I mean, who would trust his
cute brother around his girlfriend?”
“She’s loyal to him, so it’s no use,” Msindisi shrugs.
“How do you know that she’s loyal? Have you testedher?”
“Not really,” Msindisi says but his face betrays him.Musa
laughs. “Yes, you did. You’re a player!”
“I’m not a player, trust me. I have just been going
through a lot and she was the only person who seemedto
care. She’s a good girl but I suck when it comes to girl, she’s
right for him.”
Musa frowns, “You can’t handle girls?”“It’s
complicated,” he says.
“If there’s anyone who understands complicated
relationships, it’s me. I’m registered dead, traditionally
married to a beautiful woman that my family chose for
me, whom I can count with my hands the number of
times we’ve had sex.”
“Okay, that sounds worse. I’m sorry, okay?”
Musa laughs, “Now you’re sorry for me and not yourself.I’m
sorry for both of us.”
Msindisi stands up, “Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves
let’s eat, put on some music and have drinks.We will pretend
we are in a restaurant.”
“I see, you also have a bar.” He makes his way to thetable and
grabs a beer from the bucket of ice.

The food section looks even better. For once it feels like he’s a
normal man, Msindisi puts on some music. It feelslike they’re
two old friends having a house party.
“I really don’t want you to kill her,” he says.
“Why?” Msindisi asks.
Their voices are raised because the music is a bit loud.
“Because you will go to jail. I’m going in for a long time
anyway, I’m already guilty of murder,” he says.
“There’s nothing for me outside, I won’t mind going in for
avenging my mother.”
“You have a family,” Musa says.
“They don’t care about me, so it doesn’t matter.”
“No, I’m not going to let you do it. You can be there butyou
won’t pull the trigger. I appreciate how kind you have been
to me, I don’t even deserve your kindness.”
“It’s all good man,” Msindisi says.
He finds himself wrapped in Musa’s arms. It will never make
sense to anyone. This is the man who killed his mother,
somehow filling the void he’s had ever since MaMkhwanazi
broke his trust in everything that’s breathing. Musa is a bit
tipsy now, he’s not letting go ofhim.
“Thank you,” he keeps saying.
Msindisi slightly pushes him back. “I really hope you willbe
good.”
“I will be,” he pulls me back to his arms. “She said “Godplease
protect my children”. It has haunted me every year, I swear
I’m not harming her son.”
Msindisi keeps quiet, his eyes are tearing. Musa starts
apologizing as he recalls Thobile’s last moments. He had
never taken a life before, it was not easy as he
thought it was going to be. His life has never been the
same after that day. His light died with her.
“I’m not a hitman, I’m just a man who made bad decisions.
And I know that your life would have turnedout differently if
it wasn’t for me,” he says.
Msindisi sniffs back tears, “I hear you.”
Musa lifts his face up and wipes tears in his eyes.
“Now do you understand why I don’t want you to do it?”
Msindisi nods. It’s heavy but he accepts it. There’s
nothing much to look forward to in life now, he feels lost.But
Musa is right, jail isn’t a better choice either.

Musa is going hard on the booze and that worries him.He

wanted them to have fun, not to get wasted. He hides the
raincoat with a gun. It only takes a while
before Musa is snoring in bed. He sits on the other side
staring at him. It could end up in different scenarios. He can
call Nzalo to come and meet Musa for the first time.But
Nzalo has zero faith in him. Nzalo will never see himas
anything other than a stupid little boy. Nzalo will never give
him a chance, he’s always undermined him.
So he puts the pillow behind his back and shuts hiseyes.
.
.
.
Musa is groaning beside him.
“Fuck, my neck!”
He chuckles, “It’s how you wake up after drinking yoursoul
away.”
“And how do you explain how you woke up?” Musa
says, looking at his pants.
He quickly pulls up the covers. Jeez, this is embarrassing.
There were many times he needed hisdick to do this, just not
today.
“It’s a cold morning, man,” he says.“Is
it?” Musa laughs and gets up.
He needs to brush his teeth, his mouth is sour.
Msindisi waits a few minutes and then goes to the
bathroom. Musa was only going to brush his teeth so he
didn’t expect to find him naked. He’s a well-structured man,
not that he has any right to be appreciating another man’s
body.
Musa turns his eyes, “Hey.”
“I was coming to take a shower but I will wait.”
“At the door?” Musa asks, smirking.
His eyes run to the wall. This is fucked up. Musa
gently pulls him in and shuts the door.“I know
you feel something,” he says.
“It’s wrong, I’m not into men and even if I was, you’d bethe
last person I’d want to have something with,” Msindisi says.
“I know but…” Musa cups his face in his hands andsmashes a
kiss on his lips.
He wants to refuse, this is not who he is, but his lips have
parted, allowing Musa to kiss him. He locks away all the
doubts, the wrongs and rights. And does what hisbody feels
is right at the moment.
“I’m also hard,” Musa says.
He quickly strips off his clothes before Musa pushes him
against the wall. Their lips meet again, they slowly kiss each
other while they exchange strokes on their hard male parts.
He’s never heard a man moan so close to his ears before but
somehow it really turns him on. The kiss becomes more deep
as the pace of their strokes increases.
“Oooh fuck!” He’s getting close.
Musa lets go and starts rubbing his dick against his.
Skin to skin. It feels different and good. He doesn’t wantthis to
end but he can barely keep it together.
He nuts on Musa’s thigh, his whole body trembles, hisvoice
breaks apart. Musa strokes himself and follows right after
him. He’s cursing as his body releases him.
Msindisi is now facing the wall, breathing heavily. He’s
ashamed of himself. Out of all places he could have regain
his sexual abilities, Musa should’ve been the lastplace.
How does he ever go back from this?
“Let’s take a shower,” Musa says.
“Sure,” he’s still facing the wall.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
I really don’t know why Mr X is disturbing my lunch and calling
me. He betrayed me, there’s nothing for us to talkabout.
“What do you want?” I answer.
“This is your future father-in-law.”
“And I’m your ex-girlfriend’s aunt, so what’s up?” I know it
hurts him thinking about his relationship in the past. I know
Zola will forgive him, her anger is slowly subsiding,but I shall
enjoy this until it lasts.
“I need your help,” he says.
“My help?” I laugh.
It didn’t take that long, did it?
“You can’t really hold what happened against me. Nzalo had
every right to know and it’s what you also do to me. Let’s
just move on.”
Move on? This man needs to research about me a little bit
more.
“What can I help you with?” I ask.
“Nokuzola is not speaking to me, as you know. I just want to
buy her the things that she likes and I don’t know what to
buy. I have to feed my baby regardless ofhow she feels,” he
says.
Let me think, what does Zola hate at the moment?
“Umh, she likes fried fish and chicken polony. If you buyher
that, she will be very happy,” I say.
“She likes muffins and oranges as well, right?” he asks.
“Not so much, but you can buy that too, as long as you make
sure that you also bring fried fish and chicken polony.” The
way Zola is mad at fish and polony these days, she will smell
them right from the plastic and throwup. Once she’s done
throwing up, her mood will drop to zero and she will curse
him to the nearest old-age home.
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” he says.
My middle name is “petty”, he will pay dearly for what hedid
to me.
“You’re welcome, Mr X.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 75
NOKUZOLA

I answer the door thinking it’s Nale coming back. But it’smy
cheating babydaddy, I don’t know what brings him here
without notifying me. Maybe he’s here for Nale about the
Hadebe ongoing feud.
“Nale is not home,” I say.
“I’m here to see you. Can I come in?” There’s somethingin
the shopping bag that’s making me nauseous. I don’t know
why he’s here with a shopping bag because I don’tremember
asking him for anything. Anything I want, I getfor myself.
“I didn’t want to come empty-handed,” he says with a
nervous chuckle.
My face is always pulled, little things piss me off, I havecrazy
mood swings.
“How are you doing?” he asks.
“I’m good. What’s in the shopping bag?”
“I have a few things that I thought you might like.” He puts it
on the counter and takes out the contents. I see asilver foil,
the smell hits my nose, and everything in my stomach turns.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I have never seen anyone more stupid. Out of
everything he thought I’d like fish. Fish!
I almost throw up on the floor but I manage to hold it in
until I reach the bathroom. Throwing up always leaves my
stomach aching, that’s why I do my best to avoid
fish.
“Here is water,” he says behind me.
“Are you crazy? Why would you bring me fish?” “I’m
really sorry, Nale said you like it and polony.”What the
fuck? Since when does he trust Nale?
“Get rid of it, now Xolani!” I don’t want to go back to the
kitchen and find fish and polony.
He rushes out. I rinse my mouth and wash my face. He
could’ve left me alone like I asked him to. But no, he always
wants to disrespect me, that’s why he asked
Nale what I like and came here pretending like he justcame
up with it. Nale doesn’t like him and he’s stupid enough to
ask her what I like. Now I’m part of their stupid rivalry.

I find him on the couch sitting with shame. The last thinghe
should be doing is pissing me off and he can avoid
that by simply listening to me and respecting what I say.“I’m
really sorry,” he says.
“Okay,” I rest back on the couch.
My stomach hurts all because of him.
“Can we go and buy what you like? I know I shouldn’t have
bought you anything, you don’t consent to it. But Ireally
wanted to,” he says.
“I’m not dressed, I don’t want to go out,” I say.
“But you look beautiful, you don’t need to dress up.”
“I do, I don’t want to be pregnant and messy looking in
public.”
“In my eyes you will never look messy. But I can helpyou fix
your hair, if that’s going to give you a little confidence.”
“So my hair looks messy?” I ask.He
smiles, “No, I didn’t say that.”
“But that’s what you implied. The comb is in the drawerin
my bedroom,” I say.
He fetches it and comes back with hair food as well. I don’t
know who taught him how to comb a woman’s hair.Robyn,
maybe.

I love how my hair food smells though, so I’m smiling. He

separates my hair into four sections and then applieshair
food.
“Who taught you this?” I ask.“I
have a daughter,” he says.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t have long hair.”“I
still help her with it,” he says.
I will take that, I’m enjoying his touch. He massages my scalp
gently and rubs my hair. I’d pay to have him do myhair
everyday. I don’t even feel the comb, that’s how gently he is.
“Nokuzola,” he peeps to my face. I
open my eyes, “I’m not asleep.”
“Okay, I’m almost done,” he says.
I don’t want this to be over. I touch the back that he’s done
intentionally rough so that he will start afresh. He gasps
without confrontation and starts all over again. I’mdozing off,
I can’t help it.

Air blows on my face, I open my eyes. It’s him wakingme up.

I’m pregnant for fuck’ sake!
“I’m sorry but we have to go, that’s why I did your hairand
you’ve fallen asleep,” he says.
“You could’ve let me sleep, food is not that important.”I’m
irritated.
I didn’t even promise him that I will go. I look at myself inthe
mirror. I don’t know what kind of hair bun this is. It could
have been on top or behind, not at the side.
“Do you like it?” he asks.
I don’t know when was the last time I laughed this hard.
What is there to like? I can’t believe all that smooth process
had this ending. I thought he was doing
something beautiful, that’s how it felt like.“It’s
unique,” that’s all I can say.
I have to get a jacket and change my shoes.
.
.
.

I know that he only brought me here for food but I’m

already in the store, I might as well throw some
cosmetics in the trolley. These white-owned stores have
satanic pulls, that’s why he’s now pushing a full trolley. I
don’t even feel bad because he forced me to come here,I
wouldn’t have seen all these things if I was indoors.
He pays, we make our way to the parking lot and he loads
everything in the car. I stand at the side and enjoya bag of
sweet chilli chips.
“You don’t want us to grab something to eat?”
“No, I have everything.” I got food from the kiosk, I don’t
need anything more.
He opens my door, I get in and check up on Nale. She’ssinking
down with the Hadebe ship but I warned her
from the very beginning. Her friendship with Msindisi
was a recipe for disaster.
Well, she’s sleeping out again. I hope she doesn’t endup
pregnant like me, she’s forever with Nzalo.

My chips and water keep me occupied until we get back

home. I guess now he’s just helping me in with the grocery
and leaving.
“Onathi is about to call me at anytime now, she doesn’t
want me out of her sight,” he says with a boasting smileon
his face. I’m happy his relationship with his daughteris
improving but Onathi has been nothing but bratty to me.
Right now I don’t care about her.
“Winnie is coming over for dinner, I really thought you’dbe
present when it happens,” he says.
“Why would I be present? It has nothing to do with me,” Iask.
“Onathi considers her a mother, which means at some point I
have to co-parent with her. I don’t want to ever doanything
behind your back. I want everything to be
transparent, every relationship that I have,” he says.
“But I’m just a babymama like her.”
I see a twinge of pain in his eyes. “No, you’re more than
that.”
“So you don’t believe me when I break up with you?” Iask.
“I do but I don’t accept it,” he says.
“You don’t have to accept it to be a reality.”
“I know,” he says and locks his eyes with me.
He’s wearing a white curved cap and a short-sleeved white T-
shirt. Short-sleeved T-shirts always look good onhis buffed up
arms. But I’m not the only one who’s been in these arms, so
it doesn’t matter anymore.
“Nothing can ever justify what I did, the word sorry is too
small for the big mistake that I made. I deserve everything
coming at me right now. Every second away from you is like
a dagger in my heart. I feel lost and incomplete. I have been
anxious most of the times, I amburdened by my stupid habits
and immaturity. And all I ask from you right now is a chance
to become a better man for you.”
“You have to become a better man for yourself, Xolani,” Isay.
“You are what makes Xolani,” he says.
“I don’t know, you lost my trust. I do believe all human
beings are flawed, but what matters is what you do after
committing a mistake. I get mad everytime I think about
how you behaved after you came back from Hluhluwe.
I’m struggling to forgive you for that. Yes, I’m younger,but
don’t insult my intelligence like that.”
“I understand and I respect every emotion you feel and
need to process,” he says.
“I don’t know if I will come to dinner but send me the
details and I will decide.”
“Thank you,” he says with a deep sigh of relief.It
wasn’t a yes, I’m yet to decide.
“I miss you, Nokuzola,” he says.
“I bet you do.” I open the cupboard to pack my grocery.
He smiles, “Don’t forget to recommend me as your
hairstylist to your friends.”
I laugh; this style won’t last a second on the pillow.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I’m still trying to gain Nzalo’s forgiveness. At home they

don’t know how far I go for a man. Today I dug into my
pockets and bought him a necklace. I bought a huge box
and wrapped it up. I will cook and surprise him withit later.
I notice a strange car parked outside the house. A guestwill
ruin my plans, I have a lot planned and timed perfectly. I walk
in and recognize the two guests. It’s thefriends I have seen
before, I don’t know why he didn’t
tell me that they’re here because he knew I’d be coming
here too. I think he’s just patronizing me because he’sstill
holding my wrongdoings against me.
I don’t remember their names, I greet them. “We
haven’t seen you in a minute,” one says.“He hides
me,” I say.
“You can say that again, he never brings you to any of our
gatherings. You need to meet my madam, I’m sure you will
like each other,” he says.
I have a bunch of friends but I can’t say I’m not I’m a good
friend. I’m only good for vibes, but I’d gladly meethis
madam if Nzalo invites me.

I leave them and head to the bedroom. I don’t know why

Nzalo didn’t tell them that we have plans, this is delaying my
plans.
I open the door and call him with a tone of urgency.He
comes, “What is it?”
“I want you to help me lift the bed.”
He frowns, “Why are you lifting the bed?”
“My earrings fell down and slide under it.” I close the
door and follow him closely behind.
He turns his head, looking more confused.
“They went under the bed?”
I smile, “I was lying.”
“What?”
“I miss you.”
He sighs, “Nale be serious.”
“I am. Can I touch you here?” I put my hands around hiswaist
and push one into his pants.
He lifts my face, “Nalenhle, are you okay?”
I stroke his shaft until it wakes up. Now it’s obvious why I
called him here. He can say no and I will stop and let him go
back to his friends. But he’s not stopping me, I kneel down
and wrap my hand around his shaft. Then connect my lips to
the hand and move both simultaneously, up and down.
“Your mouth feels good baby, don’t stop,” he says.
I suck him like his shaft is my favorite popsicle. His hands
grab my hair, I suck every moan out of his chestuntil they
turn into low groans. I know exactly when to pull away; I
dodge his load.
He lies on his back on the bed with his eyes shut. I bringhim
the towel and then kiss his cheek.
“How long before you let me bend over for you again?” I
whisper in his ear.
He opens his eyes and smiles. “Huh?”I
know that he heard me; I wink.

I fix myself and make my way to his friends. “I

asked him to fix my hairdryer,” I tell them. “Oh,
no problem.” They’re relaxed.
I look at the one who wants me to meet his girlfriend.
“What does she do for a living?” I ask.
His answer will determine whether I want to meet her ornot.
“She does house work,” he says.
“House work?” I’m a bit confused.
“Domestic work,” he says.
He doesn’t sound sure. Does he not know what his
girlfriend does for a living?
“Does she have kids?” I ask.
“It’s complicated,” he says.
A lot is going on in his life, I should stop askingquestions.
“What about you?” This is the last question, directed tothe
quiet friend.
But Nzalo comes back before I can get all the their personal
information. Why is he walking like he has aboil on his inner
thighs?
“Sorry gents, I was fixing the bathroom door handle,” he
says.
Door handle? I give up!
“Not the hairdryer?” his friend asks.
He looks at me, his mouth dropped open. I have to check
what’s happening in the kitchen. I remove myselffrom the
confusion.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 76

Msindisi knows how much she loved him. He was her favorite
among the three and she showed him love in every way
possible. She’d never think of harming him.
She didn’t raise him to be violent and she thought he’d realize
his mistake sooner. But no, Musa has confirmedthat the boy
really wants her dead. And that has broughther to a sad
conclusion, Msindisi has to follow Thobile because that’s who
he recognizes as a mother now.
He’s forgotten what they’ve been through together. Yes, she
had Thobile killed, but she made up for it by raising her kids.
They have a legacy not because of their father, she was the
brain behind everything and that’s why
Xolani will never forgive her. He knows that everything
Sbusiso had would’ve been his, had she stuck with him.

Her trust on Musa is slowly declining because right now he

has nothing to lose or gain. But so far, so good. She’sbeen
getting updates about everything they discuss withMsindisi.
Wednesday she will face Msindisi for the first
time since he attempted to kill her. It will be hardbecause he
still has a soft spot in her heart.
“What’s happening with you?” she asks, Musa’sobsession with
his phone is nauseating.
Musa looks up, smiling. “I just saw a picture of Lwethu.She
looks happy with her real father.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re chatting to her. I don’t trustthe
Hadebes,” she says.
“That’s your child, Phindile.” He knows his sister but
sometimes she shocks him too.
Lwethu is not just a Hadebe, she’s her only child.
“Trust me, Xolani has already poisoned her mind. Msindisi is
the only child I had faith in.” She heaves alow sigh. “He was
my baby, he taught me how to loveand exercise patience.”
“Well, he’s no longer a baby now, he’s a man,” Musasmiles
and glances at his phone.
His behavior has been very suspicious lately. They’re planning
a second murder, this is not the time for him tobe spreading
his hard cheeks, smiling like a fool.
“He is a baby, always will be,” she says.
“I have seen him as a man,” Musa insists with that
stupid smile stuck on his face.
“I didn’t ask you to check out if he is a man or baby. Youneed
to focus on what we are about to do, I’m tired of living like
this.” She can hardly wait for Wednesday.
They will get Msindisi, have him send what’s in his account
to them, then they will have enough money to flee the
country and erase him from the earth surface. Nzalo will be
crushed, that’s the bright side of this. He will know that
Msindisi died because of him. And he will
hate Xolani too, because he started all this mess by digging
into things that didn’t concern him in any way.
.
.
.

Musa takes a walk to the backyard. It’s dark, they always

keep the lights off outside. He’s been re-reading their old
texts. Msindisi has been ignoring him since theirbathroom
sexual encounter. At first he thought he was embarrassed
and he’d soon get over it, but a few days have passed, he’s
now getting worried.
He takes the risk and calls. It’s late, Msindisi lives alonenow. It
rings a few times before Msindisi answers.
“I have been texting you and you’re not responding,” he
says.
“I was busy,” Msindisi says.
He sounds different; distant and cold.
“You could’ve just said that and I would’ve backed off. I
thought maybe I did something wrong.”
“But we are meeting up on Wednesday, correct?”Msindisi
asks.
“Yes,” he says.
“Exactly, so there’s really nothing for us to keep chatting
about. I have a life to live, what happened between us was a
mistake, it shouldn’t have happened.”
He smiles, “I know but it felt good, didn’t?” “No, it
didn’t. I’m not gay or anything like that.”“I’m not
gay either, I have a wife,” he says.
“This is not a debate. We will talk on Wednesday.”Call
dropped!

That was cold AF. His heart shatters. He takes a few deep
breaths and then searches for a cigarette in his pocket. He
kept his options open. Both Phindile and thisboy are counting
on him for their battles. He made promises to both but for the
past two weeks he’s been gravitating towards Msindisi more.
He opened up to thisboy, something he never planned on
doing. He felt alive,Msindisi revived a part of him that he
thought had died.
But now this phone call changes everything. He’s an
unreliable boy who can’t decide what he wants, Phindile has
been right. Robbing and killing him is the only optionthey
have.
He walks back in, Phindile is having a cup of black tea.
“I’m putting one bullet through his balls,” he says.
“Where? Are you crazy?” She doesn’t want it to be a crazy
scene. He’s still her baby, a peaceful death will do.No bullet in
his balls, it’s not that deep.
.
.
.
NZALO

He just needed a quick nap before going out to have

something to eat. A knock disturbs him, Nale didn’t sayshe’s
coming over today, so he’s not expecting anyone.He’s
shirtless and exhausted, he opens the door.
Xolani walks in, this is his first time in Nzalo’s house. Hiseyes
roam around before he fixes them on Nzalo.
“We need to talk,” he says.
Nzalo yawns, “Is it urgent? I woke up at three in the
morning, babomncane. I’m tired.”
“It is urgent. What were you doing at 3am?” Xolani asks.
“Umh, I had to prepare for a meeting.” He can’t state thereal
reason, which was Nale’s wildness.

Nzalo leads him to the sitting room and sits opposite him.
He’s evidently tired, his eyes can barely stay open.
“This is about your brother,” Xolani says.
“Please babomncane, I don’t have time for that.” He’d
rather have his nap in peace than to hear about Msindisi. He
moved out to remove himself from the chaos and his uncle is
now bringing it all the way here.
“He’s hiring cars to get around now, so he suspects that I’m
watching his moves. I know you’re fed up but I need you to
listen to me,” Xolani says.
He takes a deep breath, “Mmmm.”
Lack of interest is obvious on his face, he’s only sittingbecause
he respects his uncle.
“I talked to him, offered to help in any way possible andhe
refused everything. I saw a lot of anger in him. And he thinks
you’re responsible for all the pain,” Xolani says.
His jaw twitches. He shakes his head, evidently pissed.
Xolani puts up his hand, stopping him from blowing up. “I
know how you feel, I understand. But right now he doesn’t
want to hear anything, especially being told thathe’s wrong.”
“So who’s going to baby a 25 year old?” he asks.
“I’d do it, I don’t mind. I want this part of our lives to be
over and stay in the past. But the only person he wantsto
hear from is you,” Xolani says.
“Me? What must I say to him? “Thank you for teamingup
with my enemies”?” This frustrates him.
“I don’t think that’s what he wants. He wants you to validate
his feelings and tell him you understand whathe’s going
through,” Xolani says.
“But I don’t. He’s an arsehole that I don’t want to be
associated with. I have my own back, I don’t need him todo
shit for me.” His anger boils up.
He’s been a bigger person so many times and all
Msindisi did was being disrespectful. Everyone has
limits and he’s reached his.
“If Msindisi is not stopped this only has two possible
endings. Death or prison. And it doesn’t have to get tothat,
please stop him. Purity cannot handle any more pain.
Imagine her finding out what her ncane did and that her
brother is also either dead or arrested. That
would destroy her and hinder her studies,” Xolani says. He
chose his words carefully, Nzalo’s face softens whenhe hears
about his sister. Most of the times it’s just him and Msindisi,
they forget about Lwethu’s feelings.
“Msindisi needs you, he’s just doing it the wrong way. Just
go over there and validate whatever he tells you hefeels,
maybe there will be a way forward,” Xolani begs.
“I don’t know babomncane, we’ll see. I have already told him
many times that I want us to be at peace.” He stands up to
fetch his T-shirt.
This is the last attempt, if it doesn’t work nobody shouldsay
he didn’t try enough.
.
.
.

Msindisi’s chicken stew is almost ready. Ever since Nzalo

moved out he’s found motivation to cook. He brought a
few groceries that might last him a week andfew days.
Musa has been reaching out after their
bathroom sexual encounter and he’s been ignoring him. More
than anything, he’s just confused. He doesn’t knowwhere that
incident left him as far as manhood is
concerned. Without any shade of doubt, he enjoyed every
second of it. His only wish is that it wouldn’t have been
Musa, or at least his past would’ve been different. He
shouldn’t have let it get to that level. He betrayed hismother
in the worst way possible. How are they going towork
together now that they’ve seen each other’s nakedness and
explored it to an extent?

His food is ready but he’s just staring at the plate.

Suddenly his appetite is gone. There’s someone drivingin, he’s
too lazy to get up and check. But it’s between
two people, when the door opens it’s the one he prefersto
see less.
Didn’t he move out?
Nzalo walks in with a hard expression on his face. Maybe he
forgot something, Msindisi thinks. He keeps his head down,
staring at his food. Nzalo stands next tohim for a minute or
so, not breathing a word.
Then he asks, “What’s going on mfana wasekhaya?”
Msindisi doesn’t respond. He walks around the couch and
stands at the front, looking at Msindisi who only hashis eyes
on the plate of chicken stew and chopped veges. There’s a
long moment of silence before Nzalo sits with a heavy sigh.
“How are you doing?” he asks.
Msindisi shrugs, “Good.” “Where
did you get the recipe?”
“My head,” he says.
Nzalo chuckles, “It looks better than what I cooked two
days ago.”
Dark silence follows.
Msindisi’s eyes haven’t been lifted.
“Mom is proud of you for the fight you’ve put up for her
justice.”
“She is not,” he says.
“No, she is. I’m also proud, I’m just scared.”
“Why are you scared?”
“I don’t want to die the same way that mom died. I don’twant
to leave you and Lwethu. I still have dreams to achieve,
there’s a lot that I want to live for.”
“Do you really think I’d let them kill you?” Msindisi asks.
“No, I don’t think you’d let them. But I think they can, if
they get a chance to. Mom had dad, her husband, her
protector. But she still died,” he says.
“He was in on it,” -Msindisi.
Nzalo’s brows furrow in confusion. “Huh?”
“Musa told me that he was involved, he planned it with
ncane and they both got him out of prison and had it
announced that he was dead.”
“He is lying,” Nzalo says, shaking his head angrily.“He is
not,” Msindisi says calmly.
“They’re messing with you. Dad was not involved.” Nzalo
insists, getting up on his feet with his nose flaringout in
anger.
“He was and it all makes sense. Ncane was a nobody, how
was she going to help someone escape from prisonand pay
all the people who were paid to make it look legit? Musa
showed me a picture of them sitting togetherin Hluhluwe.
Both ncane and him visited him there, they knew he was still
alive, they protected him.”
“But why? What did she do to them? She was always agood
wife, I don’t even remember them fighting.” It’s slowly
sinking into Nzalo’s head.
“Maybe it was about insurances and stuff. Everything blew
up after he married ncane, he bought more trucks and
extended the warehouse. We went from comfortable to rich.
Mom was a sacrifice,” Msindisi says.
“No, man!” Nzalo punches his left hand and paces
around.
He doesn’t want this to be true. He looked up to his dadtill
the last day.
“Why is he telling you all of this?” he asks.“Remorse,”
Msindisi says.
“His remorse has a perfect timing. Before he got famoushe
wasn’t sorry, now that he has no means to run comfortably
he’s sorry,” Nzalo clicks his tongue and sits.
Msindisi looks at him, agony stretched in his eyes. He has
every right to be mad but Musa is really remorseful.
If he had any bad intentions he would’ve struck already,there
has been many chances to do so.
“He said he will kill her and then hand himself over. Iwanted
to do it but he said he doesn’t want me to commit a crime,
he will do it for me,” Msindisi says.
“Is it?” He finds it hard to believe this.
Musa had many years to do right and hand himself over.Why
is his remorse and kindness extended now when he’s down
and out?
“Yeah,” Msindisi says, raising his eyebrow.
Is Nzalo questioning his intelligence now, as usual?“I got
this,” he says.
“I know you do. And thank you for getting this far with
the chase. Can I be part of the plan too? I also need tofeel
like I did something to get our mother justice.”
“He’s scared of you,” Msindisi says.
“I’m not going to harm him, I will follow your lead, I just
want to be a part of it. He doesn’t even need to know
that I will be there too.”
Msindisi looks at him, a bit hesitant. “ Do you promise?”“I
promise,” he says.
“Okay cool, we are doing it Wednesday. Don’t bring thepolice,
I have two private security guards who will
protect us should things go otherwise.”
Nzalo nods and stands up, opening his arms. “I feel likewe
are always doing this. Peace?”
“Yeah. Are you going to come back?”
“I feel like space would be good but this is home, I’m always
going to pop in and you’re welcome to my houseat anytime,”
he says wrapping his arms around Msindisi.“We got this
ntwana, I will always have your back.”
Msindisi releases a long-held sigh of relief. At least one
burden has been shed off his shoulders, he can figure out
how he overcomes other challenges along the way-with his
brother by his side.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 77
NOKUZOLA

Nale went home for the weekend, I was supposed to go with

her but guilt wouldn’t let me go and face my mother.
I assured her that I wasn’t pregnant and now it has
turned out that I am. I don’t know Xolani’s plans but it would
be better if he sends his people back to my dadimmediately.
I had nothing to do, so I decided to honorthe dinner invite. I
want to see Winnie, she’s the
fugitive’s wife and Robyn’s fake ex-bestie. I already have
an idea of what she is all about. When I informedXolani
about my decision he promised to send a car topick me up.
I’m ready and waiting for it. I don’t want tobe early, I’m
going there as a guest and all I want is toget served. I won’t
lift a finger, I don’t identify as a woman of that house at
the moment.
There’s a car hooting outside, that must be my ride. I getmy
side bag and make my way out.

I didn’t think it would be the whole family here, I’m seeing

Nzalo’s car and the other black one that I assume belongs to
his problematic brother. I don’t knowif the main guest has
arrived, I’m not seeing any
unfamiliar fancy car outside. Nale said she’s a slayqueen
after stalking her on social media before everything was
deleted. Onathi proves that she was raised by slayqueen.
Her fashion sense is higher thanher common sense.
It's just me and my bag, I didn’t bring even a small gift.
Xolani appears as I walk through the door.
“I’m so happy you made it,” he says.
“I was bored and lazy to cook. Am I walking into anyfish?”
“No, I wouldn’t have taken that risk.” He smiles looking at
me walking past him in my cheap floral dress with myside
bag across my chest. I kept it casual and relaxed,
the main reason why I’m here is food.

Oh, Winnie is already here!

Did she come by taxis? She looks uncomfortable and
different from what I pictured in my head. Onathi is sitting
next to her. Nzalo and his brother on the far endof the
table.
I greet and grab a seat.
“You know everyone here except Winnie, right?” Xolaniasks
while pouring a drink for me.
I do know everyone else even though I’m not too familiarwith
Msindisi.
“This is Winnie Zondo, she raised Onathi,” he says.“Nice
to meet you.” I look at her and smile.
“You are the stepmom, right?”
Xolani looks at me as if he’s challenging me to sayotherwise.
“I’m Nokuzola,” I say.
Onathi doesn’t recognize me as anyone, so I’m
nobody’s stepmother.
I look across the table to Nzalo, he mockingly waves hishand.
I roll my eyes, smiling. I wish Nale was here, she would’ve
probably caused drama here and there but it wouldn’t have
been so awkward.
Xolani sits next to me. “I’m really happy you all put any
differences you might have had aside and came here. I will
start by thanking you Winnie for raising my princess under
difficult circumstances.”
Nzalo clears his throat but he doesn’t say anything. Hisfacial
expression says everything though.
Xolani continues; “She’s home now, everyone you see on
this table is going to be in her life. I just wanted you to
come and see where she lives and officially meet us,
her family. You will always be a part of her life, whichmeans
you will be a part of this family too.”
Nzalo stands up and grabs a plate of sliced butternut inthe
middle of the table. I feel like he’s intentionally disrupting
the speech. Xolani is now painting Winnie asa good
Samaritan who came out of nowhere and raisedOnathi with
her hard-earned money. Winnie belongs to jail, together
with Musa and MaMkhwanazi. She may have not been
involved in the murder but she’s just as guilty.
“Do you want to say anything?” Xolani asks, looking at
Onathi.
She’s been waiting for this opportunity. She pushes backthe
chair and stands up with a liquor glass in her hand.
“First of all, thank you for getting me a car. One down,social
media access to go,” she says.
Everyone laughs. I think I’m missing the joke. But I cantell
that their relationship has improved a lot in my absence.
“I hated this family, I felt lost when you brought me here.But
now I understand why God did things the way he did. I
needed to meet you, I needed to know my roots and my real
dad. You’re my new favorite person on earthand I hope you
never doubt how selfless and special you are. I hope you
never let anyone put you down.”
He smiles, “Thanks my princess, but this is about you,not
me.”
“I know but I need to say this. You are a good man, not
perfect but aspiring to be a better man. I’m lucky to haveyou
as my dad,” she says.
I don’t know if I’m thinking too much into her little speech, I
just feel like she’s indirectly talking to me.
Being a good dad doesn’t make him good to everyone. Idon’t
want her in our business, she’s a child and I want him to put
her in her right place.

It’s an awkward dinner with Nzalo throwing daggers at

Winnie every now and then. But at least we have good
food, that’s the highlight for me. Nzalo pulls me to the side
once we are done eating. Msindisi is talking to
Onathi, Winnie with Xolani. She’s beautiful, I hope hiszip
doesn’t get loose.
“I’m happy to see you here, no wonder he’s been smilinga lot
lately,” Nzalo says.
“Trust me, he wasn’t smiling because of me. How areyou
doing?” I ask.
“There’s nothing to complain about, I’m good. Just missing my
better half, she keeps saying there’s signalproblem in the
village,” he says.
“It happens, she’s not lying. My cousin never lies.”
He laughs, “You’re talking about a pro. Anyway wena,how
are you doing?”
“I’m okay, not complaining,” I say.
“I heard that I’m having a little cousin, congratulations!”
“Thank you, I’m still getting used to it. It wasn’t part of my
plans, I should’ve been extra careful, but it’s God’sblessing
and I have to embrace it.”
“Don’t worry, you will be a good mom. You have it in you.And
babomncane is getting an experience already, he will be a
good dad. And Onathi will be a good big sister.”
“Big happy family things, right?” I believed him until he
mentioned Onathi.
Onathi will drop my baby’s head on the floor.
I don’t know when he came behind me, I just feel him
pulling me away. Nzalo goes and joins Msindisi and
Onathi.
“Where is your babymama?” I ask.
“She’s here,” he says, touching my tummy.
Obviously I was asking about Winnie.
“I want us to step away and talk,” he says.
I only came here for food, not to have any sort of
conversation. I follow him upstairs, he has my juice in a
glass. I think Winnie has already left, I was curious to see
her mode of transport.
“I have a little situation to attend on Wednesday, I justwant to
inform you,” he says.
“Oh, okay.” I currently have no business knowing his schedule,
so I’m not sure why he thinks it’s important toinform me.
“I don’t want you to just see something on the news, if itgets
to that. Musa arranged to meet up with Msindisi
where Phindile is. I will go with Nzalo there to see what’sgoing
on.”
Ok, now this sounds dangerous. Isn’t Musa the heartless guy
who shot Thobile multiple times for hissister to get a man?
“You will go with the police, right?”“No,
why?”
Is he being serious?
“For safety and they’re wanted by the police. What if hekills
you?”
He smiles, “Don’t worry, he won’t.”
“No Xolani, you’re not going.” I just made up my mind,we
are expecting a baby, so I cannot allow him to go and put
his life in danger.
“Why?” he asks.
“Because you’re putting your life at risk. Not carrying a
baby doesn’t mean you can do anything you want
without considering the innocent life that we have
created. I don’t want my baby to grow up with no dad,” I
say.
I can see it in his eyes, he thinks I’m being dramatic. But I
mean it and I need him to prove that he respects me by
obeying this.
“I can’t let them go alone,” he says.
“They don’t have to go, tell the police and let them do
their job," I say.
“It’s not that simple, Msindisi gave Nzalo instructions notto
get anyone else involved. This is his operation and
disrespecting him will create more animosity between
them,” he says.
“But you’re still not going Xolani. Him not thinking logically
at the moment doesn’t mean you all have to jump into a
danger zone with him.” My decision doesn’tchange. He
needs to figure out how they deal with Msindisi’s illogical
expectations and put safety first.
“I hear you,” he says.
“Great. Is there anything else?”
He lock his eyes with me. Am I supposed to read hisface?
“Please come back home, I need you,” he says.“This
home?” I ask.
“Me, I’m your home. Life is empty without you. I want to be
with you and my little peanut every step of the way,” he
says.
“You should have thought about that before you did whatyou
did.” I didn’t come here to reignite a relationship, I came to
eat and have some company.
“Does Onathi think I’m a bad person for holding you
accountable for your actions?” I ask.
“No, not at all. What makes you say that?”
“Because I feel like she does and in future I will prefer
that you keep children out of our business. You don’t likeit
when Nale is in our business and coming at you, but
you’re doing the same with your daughter. How do youexpect
her to respect me?”
“I think you are misunderstanding….?”
I raise my eyebrow. Misunderstanding? Haven’t he saidthis
before and it turned out I was right?
“Okay, I will find out what’s going on and address it withher,”
he says.
That’s all I wanted because she’s not my kid to address,he’s
better doing it before the situation gets out of hand.
“We have to go back, you have guests,” I say.
“You don’t want me to even say hello to my littlepeanut?”
“I don’t even have a bump yet,” I turn to walk away.
And I’m being stopped. I look up, folding my arms whilehe’s
staring down at me.
He kneels down, wraps his arms around my waist andleans
his head against my tummy. This is not even a baby yet.
Broken up parents don’t hold each other.
“Please get up,” I say.
He only lifts his eyes and doesn’t remove his arms around
me. “I’m going to give this baby the world. Goddidn’t make a
mistake and you will see that.”
It still hurts him that I said I regret making him the fatherof
my baby. In that moment I meant it, I wanted to hurt him,
but I know that he’s going to be a good father.
He finally gets up but his other arm holds me still. If thiswas
a week ago I would’ve pushed his head against thewall and
insulted him until his whole body trembled. I’m a better
person than I was back then.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

Being home feels different ever since my mom passed on.

Her death brought my uncle and his wife closer, which is a
good thing for their marriage. But they’re overdoing it, I miss
our late nights as a family. My aunt isonly out of her bedroom
after 9am and then they go to bed before 9pm. What the
fuck is that? When do we get our time with them because
anywhere in between is house chores. I’m not leaving until I
confront them aboutit. If this is how they behave with Thami
around, it makessense why he has a girlfriend. He’s lonely,
they don’t give him attention.

I’m leaving today, I want to cook before I go.

“Ummmhhh!” Thami comes in, I already know that he
wants something.
“I haven’t cooked yet, eat bread,” I say.
“No, I want to ask you something but I don’t know how you
will react.” He’s standing by the door with his handsbehind his
back.
“I always react calmly, you know me. What’s up?”
He looks around, for his parents I guess, then walks tome
upon confirming that the coast is clear.
Why do I feel like he’s coming with somethinginappropriate?
He’s taking out his phone and showing me something. It’s an
article he screengrabbed from a certain website.Sex
addiction?
“Thami are you crazy?” This is not how I promised toreact
but what the fuck!
“It’s not me,” he says.
“Then why are you researching about it?”
“Because I’m worried about my parents.”
Oh, my heartbeat! I almost died for nothing.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I live them and they’re acting strange.” He
looks really worried.
I read the article, thinking about this is both funny and
disgusting.
“But they’re married, we can’t say anything about how
much they decide to be in their bedroom. You have
amplifier and a smart phone, block your ears in your room
and mind your own business.”
“This is why white kids move out when they turn 18,” he
says.
I burst into laughter, this is hilarious. He’s really turned off
by his parents having a lot of sex. I would be too, I’mglad I
don’t live here. They are probably making up for all the years
that they lost while occupied by family
duties.
“The whole village can hear you laughing,” says the sex-
addict suspect coming from the scene.
I stop laughing but Thami’s facial expression sends meback.
“Share the joke,” he says, passing me to take somethingfrom
the cupboard.
I can’t share the joke, I will be scolded and told where toget
off.
“I was rubbing your aunt’s legs, her joints are alwaysaching,”
he voluntarily explains himself.
I look at Thami, he doesn’t believe any of it. Poor child,he
still has another year living with them.
My phone rings, it’s Zola.
I put her on loudspeaker, my hands are occupied.“Are
you on your way back?” she asks.
“No, I haven’t left home yet. What’s up?”
“Xolani is using this pregnancy to get closer, I don’t wantto call
him, I want oranges.”
I turn off the loud speaker with wet hands but it’s alreadytoo
late. Her father heard everything, the look on his
face says it all. I don’t know what to say, I drop the call.“Is
Nokuzola pregnant?”
Phewww!

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 78
NALENHLE

I have to tell Zola the truth before they call from home and
confront her, if they haven’t done it already. I haveher
oranges, that’s a good start. I find her lying on the couch,
watching TV. I passed by the kitchen and grabbed a knife to
peel.
“I have your oranges,” I say.
She sits up with a frown. “Hello to you too. What did I do
right?”
“It’s more like what I did wrong mzala,” I say.
“Okay, I’m listening.” She takes the oranges and theknife.
I put my bag away and sit. I just know that she will refuse to
understand and lash out, which will then leaveme with no
choice but to defend myself.
“When you called in the morning I was in the kitchen, busy.
Your dad was there, so was Thami. I didn’t know
that you’d mention your pregnancy, you were on
loudspeaker.”
“Say you’re joking!” she stops peeling the orange,
already looking mad as hell.
“I’m not, they know,” I say.
“Why would you put me on loudspeaker and not warn
me? You wanted them to find out, right? Miss Goody-
Two-Shoes?” She’s going off, just like I expected.
“What would I gain from that?” I have no reason to rat her
out.
“Praises. Aren’t you now the good child? I don’t even know
why I still talk to you.” She takes the oranges andstorms off
to her bedroom.
I said sorry, there’s nothing more that I can do.
.
.
.
Nzalo is here, he wants to talk to me about something. I
hope it’s good news, I’m already dealing with Zola’s
tantrums, I can’t handle any more heartache. I put on my
jacket and step outside. He’s parked down the road.
I open the door and find him with his head buried on the
steering wheel.
“Please don’t tell me any bad news,” I say, it alreadylooks
like it.
He lifts his head, smiling. “Is that how you greet your
boyfriend? You haven’t seen me all weekend.”
He’s such a big baby, I kiss his lips and sit back on myseat.
“I missed you,” he says.
“You had dinner with your family. How did it go?”“It
went well. You will join us next time, right?” “No, I’m
good,” I say.
“Why? You’re my girlfriend.”
I feel like this small talk is just a foundation he’s layingfor a
bigger issue.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“I talked to Msindisi, he told me everything. So now I
have to go with him and meet this Musa person on
Wednesday,” he says.
“With the police or you’re just going there with your big
head, no protection?” I don’t like this at all.
“Of course I will inform the police baby. But Msindisicannot
know,” he says.
“I can’t wait for this to be over.” Honestly I’m tired of this.
MaMkhwanazi must be locked up once and for all, I will
inherit her curly wigs and expensive coats.
.
.
.
**ON WEDNESDAY**

They will finally get justice for their mother. Everything

feels different as they head to their cars outside. Nzalo
will be behind him, Musa only expects Msindisi to show up.
They both slept in their mother’s house and silently prayed
before they walked out of the door.
Msindisi drives off, Nzalo is giving him some distance before
he follows. He drives out of the gate slowly with aphone on
his ear. He’s talking to Mhlengikhaya who’s accompanying
Xolani with two other cops. Msindisi was not made aware of
it, as far as he’s concerned it’s just him and Nzalo.
As much as Nzalo wants his mother’s killer dead, enough has
already happened, this time he’s lettingMhlengikhaya and
his co-workers do their job. After
today their lives will move forward, everyone will have
peace.

Behind him is Xolani, they have to follow closely to Msindisi

while Mhlengikhaya and the other two wait
outside the door. He’s scared for Msindisi, something inhim
just tells him this is a set-up. If he didn’t listen to hisuncle,
Msindisi would’ve came here alone and they would’ve
probably never found out what happened to him. He
wouldn’t have been able to survive with that guilt.
Msindisi got them into an AirBnB, they have continuedliving
off the Hadebe money. He’s been responsible fortheir
expenses, all because Musa promised to kill MaMkhwanazi
on his behalf. Hopefully they are still here, he doesn’t trust
any of this.

Msindisi drives in, there’s a man waiting for him. That must be
the bustard, they walk inside, Msindisi doesn’tlock. Both Nzalo
and Xolani walk through the gate by
foot and stand on either side of the slightly open door.
They can hear a soft conversation between Msindisi andthe
man, but not MaMkhwanazi. Is it possible that Musa took
Msindisi for a ride? It doesn’t sound like an argument until
Msindisi says a loud no. Something is happening.
“Shhh!” Xolani tries to pull him back.
But the second no could be followed by a gunshot and he’s
not taking that risk. He told Msindisi to take the illegal gun
back where he got to stay out of trouble withthe law
officials present. He pushes the door without
thinking twice, to his surprise MaMkhwanazi is presentand
holding a rope. Musa was in a conversation with Msindisi,
he just panicked and cocked his gun.
“What is this Msindisi?” Musa asks, his eyes fixed on
Nzalo. “You fuckin’ broke the promise, Msindisi!”
This is not how Msindisi wanted things to go either. Sofar
Musa hasn’t broke the promise from his side, they
were just talking about why Msindisi has been giving hima
cold shoulder. It offended him.
“This is my brother,” he says.
“I said nobody else. Who else is here?”
Just as he asks, Xolani appears. Musa panics more andopens
fire. It’s all happening in a split second and Nzalo’s first
instinct was jumping to Msindisi and pushing him down to
the floor. Someone has been shot,there’s Mhlengikhaya’s
lawful order to Musa who still has a gun and MaMkhwanazi
screaming.
“Drop the gun and put your hands up, now!”
Musa’s eyes go to Msindisi, gripped with a lot of grief and
sadness. He felt something for this boy, things could’ve
turned out differently had they kept their communication
flowing like it has been for weeks. But Msindisi is also
confused, he only asked Nzalo to come.
Mhlengikhaya starts counting from three down, slowly Musa
surrenders. MaMkhwanazi already has her handsbehind her
back, claiming she didn’t want any of this to happen.
“Babomncane!” Nzalo looks up, his uncle is on the floor.He got
shot, he’s bleeding.
“Ambulance, please,” he screams, running to where
Xolani is.
He’s bleeding from the chest. It looks bad.
Musa and MaMkhwanazi are being taken out, one cop is
attending to Xolani.
“Just know that I meant every word and I don’t regret what
we did,” Musa says before exiting the door. Tearsfill
Msindisi’s eyes, he breaks down and cries.
.
.
.
They’ve been at the police station for the last hour, giving
their statements. Msindisi’s emotions are unstablebut right
now there’s no time to baby him. From here
they have to go to the hospital, while at it they need tofigure
out how they tell Onathi and Zola.
“Why did you bring the police? He thinks I betrayedhim,”
he asks.
“I don’t care what he thinks, he belongs here with his
sister.” Nzalo says and turns his red-rimmed eyes to him.
“What did he mean when he said he doesn’t regretwhat you
did?”
Msindisi drop his eyes and keeps quiet.
“Was it a crime?” Nzalo is worried.
“No, it wasn’t a crime,” he says.
“Then what was it? You have to tell the police everything,
otherwise you’re going to jail with them.”
“It was…umh…we had,” he’s stuttering.
Nzalo’s patience is very thin at this time. “What did youdo?”
“I can’t say it here,” he says.
Nzalo raises his voice, “Say it!”
“Okay, we had sex,” he says, engulfed with shame. Nzalo’s
brows knit in confusion. Did he just hear “sex”?“You and who?
The witch MaMkhwanazi?”
“No, with Musa,” Msindisi says.
“Huh?” He looks at his brother, confused.Msindisi
has a dick, and so does Musa.
“How did you do it? I’m confused. Are you alright?”Maybe
what happened left his brother mentally challenged because
this makes no sense.
“There was no penetration, we only used our hands,”Msindisi
says.
“Okay, okay!” He gets up and takes a walk.What
the fuck is happening?
Msindisi had sex with another man. Not just a randomman but
the man who killed their mother.
Nah. He walks back to Msindisi.
“Are you gay?” he asks.
“What? No, I’m not gay.” Msindisi is surprised by this question
even though he’s asked himself it many times. His answer has
been the same; he’s not gay. He did feelsexually attracted to
Musa, just like he’s been attracted
to girls before. This doesn’t mean he will no longer be
attracted to girls.
“Officer, can we go?” Nzalo asks, directing to the officerbehind
the desk.
“Just a minute,” says the officer making his way to themwith a
document.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Nzalo called me during my lunch break, I could hear thathe

wasn’t okay, he asked me to text him once I clock
out. I waited until I got home and texted. I hope it’snothing
crazy, I haven’t checked social media or watched the news.
He calls and the first thing I want to know is how
Operation-Find-The-Mkhwanazis went.
“They were caught,” he says.
“That’s a relief, at least now you will have peace.”“Is
Zola next to you?” His question is alarming. “No, she’s
taking a nap. Why?” I’m curious.
“Something terribly happened. I don’t know if you’re
brave enough to tell her or we should call her motherand
have her breaking the news?”
“What news?” I’m already thinking the worse; my jointsare
weak.
“Babomncane was shot,” he says.Oh
God, no!

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 79
NALENHLE

I know she’s not in the mood to speak with me after I “told”

her parents that she’s pregnant. But I cannot just inform her
mom, for now Mr X is in the hospital having an operation,
he’s not dead. Biologically I’m Zola’s aunt,I can break the
news to her and accompany her to the hospital. I just hope
she doesn’t panic too much, she’s apregnant woman.
I wake her up. “It’s important, please get up.”“No,”
she refuses.
“I just got a call from Nzalo, it’s important.”
She grunts angrily and sits up. “Please, I hope it’s notabout
any relationship, I’m tired.”
“It’s about Mr X,” I say.
“What about him?”
“He’s in the hospital, he got shot.”
“Huh?” She freezes for a second.
Then she kicks off the blanket.
“What do you mean he got shot? By who? Where?”
She’s panicking.
“By Musa but he’s still alive and Musa was arrested,” Isay.
“No, no, no! I told him not to go, what was he doing there?”
She’s already crying. I didn’t even know that
they had a conversation about it. She grabs her jacketand
bag and cries all the way to the door.

I have to follow behind and go with her. For the sake of the
baby I really prays that Mr X pulls through and comes out of
that surgery alive. We board a taxi, everyone inside is staring
at Zola who has tears runningdown her cheeks.
I text Msindisi, he doesn’t respond. We haven’t talked since
Nzalo said our friendship should end. But right now I know
he’s devastated and probably blaming herself about what
has happened to his uncle. Msindisi was one person who
showed me a lot of support when Iwas at my lowest, I know
he also needs a shoulder to cry on at this time.
.
.
.

Mr X is not out of surgery yet, they say a bullet is stuck afew

inches away from his heart. I’m scared, anything
can happen. Zola is losing her sanity right now. I don’tknow
how to comfort her.
“I told him not to go,” she keeps saying.
“We were with the police, he’s going to be okay,” Nzalosays,
subtly defending his uncle.
“What if he doesn’t? I’m pregnant with his baby, I can’tdo
this alone.”
Oh my goodness!
I ask Nzalo to excuse us. This is not the time to losehope, if
anything we should be urging God and his ancestors to pull
through for him.
“You cannot think like this. You know Mr X, you think he’d
just stop fighting? He’s stubborn as hell, he’s coming out to
defend why he went there behind your back. Instead of
crying like this, you should be preparingall the insults you’re
going to use because he never listens to you.”
She smiles with tears in her eyes. “Seriously? I’m not that
bad. I just want him to be okay so that we can gohome.”
“Trust me, he will be alright,” I sit with my arms around
her.
I don’t know how long we are going to be here. It could be a
couple of hours or the whole night, I don’t know how we
are going to make it to work tomorrow.
Despite everything that has happened, Mr X is going tobe a
family with us through Junior Citizen. Doctors are giving us
hope, I can call home and have something solid to tell
them. I step away and call Zola’s mom.
“What’s the bad news?” she says when she answers.“How do
you know it’s bad news?” I’m puzzled.
Is she an undercover sangoma?
“I have been feeling it in my blood the whole day. Whereis
Nokuzola?”
“She’s here with me, we are in the hospital. Mr X…Imean,
Xolani, was shot.”
“Is he alive though?” she asks.
“Yes, for now it’s promising.”
“Can I talk to her? Oh my baby, I can’t imagine what she’s
going through right now.” Knowing her, I know shealready
suspects dark magic from neighbors.
I give Zola the phone.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

At some point I was sure that I would be fine even if I never

saw this mine again in my life. But today proves
all that wrong, I don’t want to lose him. I still need this
lying, cheating, manipulative man in my life. I need himto
live his dream of raising a girl- Onathi. And for once
experience how it’s like to be cared for by your family.
The news have reached Mpumalanga, Lwethu wants to
come home tomorrow. Onathi was fetched by Msindisi and
for the first time since I have known her, I see a child. A
scared child curled up on the floor and sobbingnonstop.
Today her biological mother was arrested,
Winnie might face charges of her own too, and now it’sher
father between life and death. It’s a lot, I cannot imagine what
she’s going through.
“Please sit on the chair,” I pull her up.
The hospital floors are cold, she will get flue. I sit next to her
and hold her hand. I never thought I’d want anything to do
with her but right now we have to stick together.
“Your dad is stubborn, he’s not just going to give up,” Iborrow
Nale’s words.
She’s still sobbing. “Why is it taking so long?”
“They have to take long, that’s way they will be carefuland
remove the bullet successfully,” I say.
“My dad wanted to kill my dad!” She buries her head onmy
lap and sobs some more.
Shit, I forget that Musa played a distant father role to her.
She loves both these men, sadly I don’t think Musaeven
cared to think about her for a minute. Because if anything
had happened to Xolani, what would've became of Onathi?
“Xolani loves you and he’s not going to leave you. You’rewhat
he dreamed of for a very long time. I don’t even know if it was
a dream or a fatherly instinct was trying to tell him that he has
a daughter. He talked about having adaughter, he was thrilled
by the idea. And then you just came out of nowhere and made
that dream a reality.” I’mstroking her hair, she’s stopped
crying, just having hiccups. I feel like a grandmother telling a
folktale to her sad grandchild, but I love it, she’s getting calm.
“Now I don’t have to worry about whether I will be able to
give him a daughter or not, you have saved me.”
She chuckles. “He just wanted a doll to ban from social
media.”
“It’s for your own good, he just cares a bit too much buthe
means well.” Onathi is the reason why all this happened. If it
wasn’t for her posting her life on social media, nobody
would’ve known that she’s living a goodlife with Winnie and
MaMkhwanazi is sponsoring it. I don’t think she even knows
that and maybe it’s better
that way because she might start blaming herself. But she is
the reason why Thobile finally found justice. I guess the
Hadebe ancestors used their own and workedovertime.

Nzalo comes to us, I hope it’s good news, he’s beenspeaking

to the doctors.
“How is he?” Msindisi asks, getting up on his feet.
“The operation was successful, he’s doing okay. They say we
can see him for five minutes, his body needs torest.” It’s
good news, I cannot express how happy I am.
Nale stays behind with Nzalo, I go in with Onathi and
Msindisi, we cannot crowd him. I thought he’d be awake,I’m
a bit disappointed but happy to see him breathing onhis own.
Nale was right, he’s too stubborn to just die.
I let Onathi hold his hand, she’s started crying again butthis
time it’s tears of joy.
“Thank you so much for coming back. I promise I will never
walk in to your room without knocking again and Iwill
always eat with you on the table. I love you, I don’t want to
lose you.”
She’s a very sweet child, I wish she can always display her
true emotions like this and not hide it by acting like aspoilt
brat.

I kiss his forehead and tell him that I’m waiting for him toget
out of the hospital, I will be home waiting for him withOnathi
and his little peanut. He’s concurred the big fight,I may be
angry at him for going there without my consent but I know
that he went there to save his nephews. If he didn’t take this
bullet it could’ve been oneof them, and who knows if they
would’ve survived. I’m mad but I understand, and I’m not
going to give him a hard time about it.
I look at Msindisi, our time is almost up. No movement. I
think he wants to be alone with him. I take Onathi and we
give him space.
I don’t want to leave, I want to be by his side until his body
recovers and he’s able to see me. But that’s not realistic, I’m
pregnant and working tomorrow. At least Iknow that he’s
out of danger and he’s in good hands here.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Zola went to Mr X’s house to be with Onathi, which makes

sense during this time and I applaud her for the maturity
she’s showing. Nzalo wouldn’t have known howto take care
of an emotional girl child. Heck, he can’t even handle a boy
child, Msindisi. I’m worried about him,I don’t want to lie.
Nzalo can handle everything, he has astrong mental capacity.
Not Msindisi, I feel like I have to reach out. Msindisi held me
down when my feet couldn’t reach the ground and held me
up when I was sinking down. It’s unfair that I have to keep a
distance because Nzalo said so. I understand where he was
coming from but this is no longer about them.
The day seems to be moving slow, it feels like the clock has
been stuck on 3pm forever. I can no longer be here, I want to
go and check on Msindisi. I know Nzalo is
caught between hospital visits, work and communicatingwith
Mr X’s work team. I don’t think he has time to check how the
poor boy is holding up.

I look up, finally the bloody clock has ticked forward. Iget
my shit and take a taxi to town. I’m getting him
flowers and chocolate, the same way he did for me. Wait, is
that what you get for guys? The problem is, Ican’t buy him
alcohol. It morally makes no sense.
Maybe I should buy him a book instead of flowers. I need a
book that’s going to make him laugh, so I needone
between comedy and fiction. I will ask a bookshopassistant
to recommend one for me.

Books are expensive, I don’t know which one fiction authors

are charging for between lies and paper. Howcan lies printed
on a paper cost R300? I buy taxi rankmeat but I’m not sure if
this is Msindisi’s taste. I don’t know if he’s been to a taxi
rank in his adult years.
.
.
.

I call him outside the gate, he opens and I see that Nzalo is
here as well. Now this is going to be awkwardbecause I
didn’t tell him that I will be here. He hasn’t changed his
decision regarding our friendship even
though him and Msindisi are now on good terms. I wasn’t
doing this behind his back, I was going to tell himabout it
later.
When we walk in his brows furrow, he didn’t expect meto be
here.
“How are you guys doing?” I ask.
“Good, how are you?” he says.
“I’m fine, I just came here to check how you’re both doing.” I
look at Msindisi, he didn’t answer my question.
“I’m good too,” he’s lying, his eyes say something else.
“I got you a book, I don’t know if you read, just keep your
mind occupied.”
“Thank you,” he takes it.
“You guys can share the food.”
“I’m good,” Nzalo says.
Msindisi takes it and goes to the kitchen to warm it. I can
already tell that Nzalo has a problem with this. He knows that
I bought both the book and food for Msindisi.
“I didn’t know that you’re home,” I say.
“Obviously,” he says.
“I was going to tell you and I didn’t think you’d mind me
checking up on him. He’s at his lowest and needs to be
checked up on.”
“And I don’t need to be checked up on?” So
now it’s a competition?
“Didn’t I call you in the morning?” I ask.
“You didn’t buy me food and a book or came to physically
check up on me. But it’s okay, we all havedifferent
priorities.” This is the petty Nzalo, he cannotsee beyond his
own perspective.
“Do you know that he was also checking up on me whenI lost
my mom and you weren’t there? I cannot turn my back on
people who supported me when I needed it the most.”
“Okay, I will excuse myself, you can support each other
without me disturbing and sharing food that wasn’t meant
for me.” He gets up with his phone and car keysand leaves.
This is so unnecessary, I didn’t expect him to act like
this. He knows that I mean well, he just wants me to lookbad.
I hear him driving off.

Msindisi walks back, looking guilty.

“Don’t mind him,” I say.
“I really don’t want any more issues. You can give himthe
book, if that’s what he’s angry about, I will get the electronic
version on Kindle.”
“No, keep the book. How are you doing?” I ask.
“I don’t know and that’s the honest truth,” he says.
“But you know that none of it is your fault. Your
intentions were good and that fuckin’ murderer shouldn’t
make you question that. He’s a bad person, not you.”
He sits down with a heavy sigh. “That’s the least of my
concerns. I have other interpersonal issues that I’m dealing
with. Did Nzalo tell you anything?”
“About you?” I ask.
He nods.
“No, he’s just an angry Thomas. Is there anything I should
know?” I don’t want to miss out on anything, hemust fill
me in.
“I don’t want to attend the trial, I need some time alone and
away. I have to figure out who I am and heal on myown, by
myself,” he says.
“So you’re going on a holiday?” I ask.
“I’m relocating, I just don’t know where I’m going for
now," he says.
Something big must have happened, this is a big move.“You
are leaving everything?”
“I only need myself,” he says.
Yoooh!

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 80
NOKUZOLA

It’s been a few days, he’s recovering well in the hospital.I

have kept things positive, I don’t even think I will
confront him about going against my word, I just want him to
come home. I moved in with Onathi and so far it’sbeen good.
She needs me to be here and I think she
finally understands that I care about her dad even
though he hurt me.
We have been eating out most of the times. I come backfrom
work and we drive to a nearby restaurant and havedinner. It’s
all been coming from my pocket and I’m not rich, today I
cannot afford taking us out, so I’m cooking.
“Do you eat baked beans?” I ask.
I’m not big on cooking so I prefer simple meals.
“Ummh, why do you have a pot?”
I’m confused. “To cook, I’m cooking baked beans.”“Do
you cook a baked cake?” she asks.
“Why would I cook a baked cake?” Is this child okay?
“I don’t know, why would you cook baked beans? It’s
bakeeed.”
Sigh! I don’t know who’s going to tell her because I don’thave
the strength. She stands and watches as I chop onions and
add to a hot pan with oil. I’m cooking baked beans curry,
adding chopped tomatoes and all the spices.
“What do you want? Rice or phuthu?” I ask.
“It’s the same thing, just starch,” she says.
Well, rice it is. I’m not a good phuthu cook anyway. I cook
with her looking at everything with lack of interest. I
don’t think she knows how to cook so beggars can’t be
choosers.

My food looks good, for once I didn’t overcook rice. I dish

for both of us and call her to the table. I know shemisses
her dad right now, he would’ve rang a chef to come and
cook her green beans and half-bleeding meat.
“So you’re going to marry my dad?” She’s weighing her
options right now; does she stay his daughter and have me
cooking for them or she finds a new dad.
“I don’t know but I have the ring,” I say. “Wow,
he proposed? How many carats?”Okay, I
shouldn’t have mentioned it.
“It wasn’t the actual ring, I’m talking about a gesture- he
sent his uncles to my father,” I say and she erupts into
laughter. Even his own daughter is laughing at it, I deserve
better.
“And you agreed? He’s going to wed you in a communityhall,”
she’s still laughing.
“Give him a break, he has some taste.” We are laughingand
eating, she’s forgot about criticizing the food. It doesn’t taste
bad but the cooked-baked beans didn’t
turn out how I wanted.
My phone rings, there are no rules on this table, I
answer.
“Hey Ma,”
“How are you mntanami?”
“I’m good, I just cooked.”
“You cooked? Is Nale not with you?”
“No, I have been in Xolani’s house with his daughter.”“Oh,
how is she doing?” she asks.
I look over to Onathi, she’s focused on her plate. “She’sfine,” I
say.
“And how is your morning sickness?”
“It’s getting better now,” I say.
“Yeah, it should get better with time. Your dad wants totalk to
you,” she says.
My mom has accepted that she’s becoming a grandmother
and I’m having her grandchild out ofwedlock. My dad on the
other side hasn’t even confronted me about it, which makes
me nervous.
He’s been listening to us going on and on about me
stepmothering and morning sicknesses.
“Nokuzola,” he says.
His voice sends shivers down my spine, it’s guilty.“Hi
dad,” I say.
“How are you?”
“I’m good,” I say.
“I hear your mother talking about pregnancy. Who is
pregnant?” He knows that I’m pregnant, he just wants togive
me a hard time.
“Nale told you,” I say.
“Oh, she’s your mouth now?”
Sigh!
“It’s me,” I say.
“Awu, congratulations ntombi, well done.”
I hear him giving the phone back to my mom. Mom says
goodnight and ends the call.
Onathi looks up. “What’s happening?”
“All I can say is, don’t fall pregnant if your dad is still alive,
unless you’re married. Dads will have you out ofwedlock
and criticize you for meeting the same fate,” Isay.
“But you’re 29. Once I turn 21 I will set my own rules, asan
adult you can decide when you want to have children,” she
says.
“I can’t wait,” I say.
She thinks parents understand anything about their children
becoming adults. Black parents will make youfeel guilty for
being sexual active at 30.
“So, are you hoping for a brother or sister?” I ask. She
clears her throat dramatically and sips water. No, she
can’t be real.
“None?” I ask.
“I just met him and his attention is going to be away fromme.
But I’m okay now, I’m going back to college
anyway,” she says.
“Onathi are you serious? People raise more than five
children at once, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to lovethe
baby more and neglect you.”
“I know, I guess I overreacted,” she says.“To
him?” I ask.
“Yes, we fought about it,” she says.
I find this hilarious to be honest, but I also understand
because she’s only been here for a short while and they just
started bonding. But I’m not that kind of person, I willnever
be with someone who abandons one of his children.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

Nzalo stopped talking to me, I think he wants me to follow

him and apologize for reciprocating Msindisi’s
support. Msindisi sent me a short text telling me he’s off to
Northern Cape, Fraserburg. When he left they were not on
speaking terms too. I don’t know what this meansfor their
relationship but I will check up on him every nowand then.
The chaos has ended, no guard is gawking
from across the street, the Mkhwanazis are behind bars.I
invited all this drama into our lives, simply because a man
broke my heart and I couldn’t handle it like a normal person,
I went out drinking and met Mr X.
Meeting Mr X is what got me here. If I didn’t meet him, I
wouldn’t have caught Nzalo Hadebe’s attention,
MaMkhwanazi wouldn’t have known my name.

Well, Zola found something solid from it. She’s in a double-

storey mansion with a future millionaire growing in her
womb. I think they’re going to work after this experience. Mr
X will know better now, life is too short tospend it between
Robyn’s legs. As for me, life is really quiet these days. I go to
work and come back to an empty house. Today I’m going
out, to the very same pubthat I met Mr X in. It’s his but he’s
not going to pop out
today, he hasn’t been discharged yet.

I find the exact table and order a raspberry-gin martini.

I’m going to settle the bill myself. I’m a perfect example of
young and lonely. I wanted to call home earlier but myuncle
would’ve asked too many questions and got worried.
“Excuse me,” God,
not again!
I’m just enjoying the first cocktail. I turn around, Tom.
“Nalenhle,” he says, smiling.
I haven’t seen him since we broke up. He has clear skinnow,
still wearing two gold crowns on his teeth below.
Childish motherfucker!
“Hey,” he says, sitting on my table like we are two oldfriends.
He’s not wearing his ring, out here to fool more innocentgirls
like me.
“I’m ignoring you,” I say.
“I can see. But you never gave me even a chance to
explain my side of the story. You blocked me
everywhere,” he says.
“I don’t care. Where is your wife?” “You’re
still crazy, let’s get more drinks.”
I watch him making the order and getting me another
cocktail. I no longer accept freebies and money shortcut
offers. Last time I did that I ended up involved in family
unresolved murder cases, fighting brothers and a witch
stepmother’s bad side.
“So what are you busy with now?” she asks.
“Nothing. If I was busy with something I wouldn’t be
here.”
“I saw that you’re in a new relationship, congratulations.”
“Thanks. Where is your wife?” I ask.
“We separated, just about to have our divorce finalized. I
could’ve explained to you what was happening and why I
didn’t disclose my marital status to you, but you didn’t
want to hear anything. I have thought about you a lot inthe
past few months.”
“There’s really no need for you to explain now, it won’tchange
anything,” I say.
“But it will give you closure, right?” He gives that relationship
too much credit. I don’t need any closureunless it’s for my one
weave.
“I’m good Tom, I’m just here to chill, not looking for
answers from the past,” I’m bored just by his presence.He
looks good but he’s no longer my cup of tea. I’m nolonger
into thin, lightskin guys.
“You are a good person, Nale. At that time I felt like you
weren’t open about who you were either. Everything about
you was just on the surface,” he says.
Nzalo said the same thing, I don’t know what men really
want. Do I have to turn my insides out?
“What do you mean?” I’m confused.
“You did and said everything in passing. Our relationship
didn’t get to a deeper level but after you left me I realized
you actually meant a lot to me and I could’ve been honest,
something deep was probably going to come up,” he says.
“So now it’s my fault that you didn’t tell me you had awife?”
It’s not funny but I laugh.
No, I won’t be fooled by him again. I gave him a chance and
he played me, single-handedly. I didn’t contribute to it,
there’s nothing I could’ve done better.
“But that’s not what I’m saying. You meant a lot to me and I
wish we could’ve explored deeper. I don’t know if Istill stand
a chance?”
“Nope, but thanks for a conversation.” I’m ready to go, itwas
good seeing him and hearing that he has some regrets. As it
should be, all my ex’s should suffer. I don’tbelieve his divorce
story, Tom is a serial liar.
“Your cocktail,” he says.
“No thanks, I no longer accept free drinks especiallyfrom
this place.” I could tell him the whole story but I don’t
have time. I settle my bill and request home.
.
.
.
My cold bed is waiting for me, I turn on the lights and lock
the door. Tomorrow I’m waking up for work. I don’t know
what I’m working towards to. Sending money to my uncle’s
wife? That’s literally the only thing I do besidetaking care of
myself. Zola is the only cousin I have beside Thami who is a
teenage boy. With me there’s no maternal side of the family
and paternal side of the
family. If Zola moves in with Mr X, which I suspect isgoing to
happen, then it’s really just going to be me.
I stay awake until the deep hours of the night. Usually I’d fall
asleep quick when I’m drunk but not today. I take my phone
under the pillow and make a call.
I call twice before he answers.
“Nalenhle,” he says.
“I want to come home.”
“Is everything okay?” He sounds alarmed.
“Yeah, I just want to come home,” I say.
“What about work?” he asks.
“I don’t know, I will call them in the morning but I don’twant
to be here anymore, at least for now.” There’s nothing for me
in this town other than work.
“Have you been drinking?” he asks.
“Yeah, but I only had one cocktail.”
I hear a sigh. “Okay, I will call you in the morning, try tohave
some sleep.”
“Alright, goodnight,” I say.
“Nalenhle,” he calls my name before I drop.I
stay on the call.
“I love you, always will.”I
know he does.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 81

A goodbye text, really?

He tries calling but it doesn’t go through. He gets back tothe
HR office to conclude the meeting but his heart is no
longer here. What he’s been waiting for is her
acknowledging her wrongs. Why is she talking about
going back to the village? How did she get to that
decision?
As soon as his meeting is done, he gets in the car and heads to
her place. When he gets there, he’s met with agigantic lock.
She’s already gone. Maybe Zola knows what’s going on, she
heads to his uncle’s house.
Shit, he’s only realizing outside the gate that Zola is atwork.
Now what does he do?
Check up on Onathi and maybe go to the hospital.
Onathi opens, she’s in the company of a house helperwhile
Zola is at work.
“Hey,” he walks in.
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m good, just checking up on you.”
“I’m good,” she looks at him, frowning. “Are you sure
that you’re okay?”
He exhales heavily. “I’m not okay, I thought I’d find Zolahome
but it’s fine. We can go and see your dad.”
“Really? I’m going to change, give me one minute.” Shesaw
him yesterday evening but she’s not turning down any
opportunity to see him again. She runs to her roomand puts
on her cotton pants and sneakers.

Nzalo is quiet all the way to the hospital. He’s clearly going
through something but can’t open up to a child.
He tries calling Nale again before they make their way inbut
it’s still going to voicemail. Xolani is awake, he’s been asking
to be discharged but the doctor refused.
Now he’s just hoping by the end of this week he’d be
allowed to go home to his family. Zola shocked him when
she came to the hospital with Onathi, then theysaid
they’re both staying in his house. Things weren’tlike that
when he left, they could barely stand each other.
“Dad,” Onathi walks in and rushes to hug him.
“Hey beautiful princess. Did you bring me my laptop?”
Onathi laughs, “No. Zola said I must never.”
“Do you guys understand that I have work to do
regardless of being here?”
“Where have you ever seen anyone working from the
hospital bed? Relax, everything is under control,” she
says.
“If you say so.” He lifts his eyes to Nzalo.“Is
everything okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Nzalo says with a low sigh.
Xolani turns his eyes to Onathi and asks her to givethem
space for a few minutes. He knows Nzalo, something is
wrong.
“What’s happening?” he asks
“I really don’t know, I just got a text from her telling methat
she’s going back to the village.”
“Nalenhle? Did you fight?” he asks.
“Not really, we just argued and stopped talking. I don’t
think what could’ve led into her leaving town. She was inthe
wrong, all I have been waiting for is her acknowledging her
mistake.”
“I would advise but I don’t know the context of the story,”
Xolani says.
Nzalo takes a deep breath and starts from the very
beginning. “I asked her to stop being friends with my
brother, Msindisi. I just felt like it was getting into hishead
and making him disrespect me. I wasn’t saying
they shouldn’t talk or become enemies. I just needed a few
boundaries. Then she came home to check up on him
carrying food and a book, not knowing that I was home. I
got angry because we had a conversation and Iexplained to
her why their friendship made me uncomfortable. That was
it, I left them home and I didn’thear anything from her until
this text of her saying
goodbye. I don’t know if they both planned it; leaving meto
be by myself. Because Msindisi also just left with a one-day
notice.”
“I also don’t hear any reason that might have made herleave,
from what you just told me. Maybe it’s somethingpersonal,
she will talk to you once she’s home,” Xolani says.
“But we are in a relationship babomncane and she’s making
it sound like she’s not coming back anytime soon.” His fear is
evident. This is not what he expected,after Msindisi left he
thought she’d come to him and
they’d talk about what happened. He wasn’t angry about
her buying Msindisi a book gift and food; he was angry
because she made it seem like he was in the wrong.
Then started bringing up the past he thought they hadleft
behind. She could’ve just refused to end the
friendship, he wasn’t forcing her, he doesn’t have any
authority to choose friends for her. But she went along with
it, only for her to continue behind his back and thenuse his
past shortcoming to defend herself.
“Did you think Msindisi liked her?” His uncle asks, hecan
see that there’s more than what meets the eye.
“He acted like he did but I know he didn’t, she was available
and he got comfortable to the point where he became
disrespectful towards me. Despite who he was,I don’t like
friends like that. There’s no girl I would ever put first than
Nale, regardless of her relationship with
them. But clearly she didn’t understand that or our
relationship didn’t mean much.” His last guess comeswith
loud finger-popping; he’s stressed more than he shows.
“Just keep trying, she will talk to you,” Xolani has no
better advice than this.
“I will,” he says, blowing a sigh.
What the hell, Nalenhle?!
.
.
.
NALENHLE
They’re both waiting me for on the road, as the conductor
offloads my bags, my uncle is hugging me. Ican’t point at
anything, all I know is that I needed to behome. They don’t
ask me any questions until we get home. I have a warm
plate of food already waiting for me. My room has been
cleaned and bedding changed.This is all my aunt and I
appreciate her for it.
I finish eating and go to my room to unpack my suitcase,she
follows me.
“We have been worried the whole morning, I’m happy tosee
you in one piece,” she says.
“Nothing happened, I just wanted to come home,” I say.
“You know you are always welcome home. How is…what’s
his name? The boy you’ve been seeing,” shetaps her fingers,
trying to recollect her memory.
“Nzalo, I left him behind, he’s good,” I say.
“Was he still treating you right?” She obviously suspectsthat
I’m here because of my relationship problems.
“I think he was, we did have an argument and kind of got
distanced for a couple of days, but that’s not why I’m home. I
just wanted to be home,” I say.
“Okay. Is it about your mom?” she asks.
“No, it’s not about her.” I want my mom to rest in peaceand I
believe she is finally free from the physical limitations that
made her life horrible.
“Is it Nokuzola moving out and leaving you?”
“No, I understand why she did,” I say.
She heaves a deep sigh and then steps closer to help me. As I
said, there’s nothing, I just didn’t want to be inthat loud
place anymore.
.
.
.

I knew that my uncle would worry even after his wife

explains to him. I don’t want him to be stressed, I may not
be okay for now but I’m home now, I will be okay. Italked to
MaKhoza, I wanted to know if there was any possibility that I
could put Khanyisa in my spot. She’s a
single mom, I know how much she struggles. But I’m still
waiting for an answer on that. Fingers crossed, I will get a call
with positive news soon. I don’t know how far whatI have in
my bank will take me but that’s the least of my worries.
He's sitting on the chair outside, I bring out my own andjoin
him. It’s late evening, we just had dinner and aboutto retire
to our bedrooms. The moon is out, it promises to be a warm
night.
“Do you remember when you used to lie to us, saying
there’s a woman in the moon who was blew there by thewind
for collecting firewoods on a Sunday?” I ask.
He laughs, “Now it’s a lie? Don’t you see her, lookcarefully.”
“No, that’s just a cloud shadow.” I’m grown now, I knowthat
no human being is living in the moon as God’s punishment.
“Do you want us to visit your mom tomorrow?” he asks,
looking at me like he feels pity for me.
“Not really,” I say.
“Okay, no rush. But I will give her ibhayi- ceremony- soon,
we will celebrate her life. Your mother was a strong
woman, just like you are, she survived in a bodythat was
against her for 48 years. She never gave up,”he says.
I don’t know why this makes me sad instead of proud.
“You’re welcome home, anytime you want to come backthe
doors will always be open. For you, for your future children
and grandchildren, kusekhaya lapha,” he says.
“Thank you malume,” I belong here.
Most of my sorrows came from here and my soul
healing will come here.

We could’ve stayed outside the whole night but my body

needs to retire from commuting. I turn off the alarms that
wake up me for work and slide into a peaceful sleep.

My mom sits across me in a floral dress and beret. I haven’t

seen her in a while, I have been missing her so much. I start
telling her about everything that went downin Tongaat, all
the drama I found myself engaged into.
It’s a lot of stories and she’s just facing me. She hasn’t
responded or acknowledged anything that I’ve just toldher.
“Ma, did you hear me?” I ask.
Nothing. She’s silent.
I stand up, her eyes don’t move with me.
“Ma, look!” I say, my voice a little bit raised at her.Nothing.
I start crying. Why wouldn’t she say anything to me or just
acknowledge me? I’m home, I came back just so I can see
her and she’s ignoring me.
“Nalenhle! Nalenhle!” Oh, finally.
She’s calling my name and pulling my hand.“Nalenhle,” she
yells.
I’m hearing my mom…my eyes open to my aunt wakingme
up.
No, no, no!
“Hey, calm down. You’re okay, you’re home,” she says.“It’s my
mother,” I’m hurt.
My heart just broke into millions of pieces.
“Your mother?” She’s confused.
“She’s still blind and mute even in her after-life.”
“Oh God, Nalenhle!” She wraps her arms around me.
I can’t handle this. I thought the Bible said flesh remainshere
on earth and the soul gets free. How come my mother is still
trapped in that flesh?
“Why is she still suffering?” I thought she was resting in
peace, that’s all I’ve asked from God. I have not asked him
for a car or house, just him to let my mother find herpeace
at last.
“It was just a dream, Nalenhle. She visited you in theform
that you remember her in. Trust me, she’s not suffering.
The fact that she came to visit you in your sleep means
that she is finally free.”
“No, she is not.” I’m not stupid.
My mom is still suffering. God hated my mom from birthto
death.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

Nale can’t just up and leave.

I’m calling my mom to find out what’s going on becauseher
phone is off.
“Hello Nokuzola,” she answers. “Hey
mom, how are you all doing?”
“We are fine,” she says with a heavy sigh.
It’s either she’s stressed or she didn’t have enoughsleep.
“What happened? Why is Nale home?” I ask.“I
think she just needs a break,” she says. “From
what?” I’m confused.
“You know this has been a tough year for her and shenever
really got a break to deal with everything,” she says.
“I understand but what’s going to happen now? She willleave
her job that I worked hard to get for her and just stay at
home. I’m pregnant, in a few months I will be
taking a leave to raise the baby. How do you expect meto
take care of you, dad, Thami and Nalenhle?”
“Awu kahle Nokuzola, it’s not like your dad is not helpingout
too,” she says.
“Oh, is that so? Can I also take a break? I also had a tough
year.” I don’t think my parents even care about me. How
can they allow this to happen?
Xolani may be well-off but I’m still a parent to this babyto. I
need to save, I can’t be asking for everything from Xolani
because I have three adults to take care of.
“What do you want me to do?” she asks.
I drop the call. What the fuck is happening? Who do the
Thabethes think they are? The Guptas?

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 82
NALENHLE

I’m seeking answers, and the traditional route to take when

enquiring about the late ones is a seer. My uncle came with
me, I have been to seers, I know what they’reabout. We sit
on the laid grass-mat with our candle lit and impepho
burning. It’s a male seer trusted by my uncle with his whole
life, he’s trying to connect to our ancestors.
He calls my father’s ancestors, praising their names.
When it’s time to move to the maternal side he calls the
Sibisis instead, my grandmother’s surname. I have never
looked at it that way. I think of myself as a
Thabethe- Thabethe. I know it’s not realistic but hearinghis
approach fills a void I wasn’t even aware existed.
Whenever someone asks me what’s my mother’s
surname I can always say Sibisi, right?
“Your mother is looking over you,” he says.“Looking?”
I’m confused.
“Yes, she’s with you everywhere you go, she sees you.On the
other side it’s not the naked eye, her soul sees you,” he says.
I look at my uncle, he’s nodding.
“I had a dream, she still couldn’t see,” I say.
“Was she sitting with her back against you or she wasfacing
you?”
“She was facing me,” I say.
He chuckles, looking at my uncle.Damn,
why didn’t I figure this out?
“So she’s looking over me?” This is music to my ears.
“Yes, and she’s not complaining about anything, she’svery
much at peace.”
“Thank you so much.” I feel a huge relief, like somethingjust
got lifted off my shoulders.
Aunt did say it was a good visit though, I just didn’t believe
her. My uncle shows gratitude to the spiritual guides by
placing R100 note on the floor, then we leave.

I feel less heavy than I was yesterday.

“Are you satisfied?” my uncle asks as we head back
home.
“Very much happy,” I say.
“I know she’s at peace, I made peace with her decisionand let
her go. After that I was able to cherish all the memories we
had together as almost-twins. Once that was happening, I was
able to make your aunt happy.”
“Eeeew!” I know what that means.
“What?” He looks at me, raising his eyebrow.“You
guys are old,” I say.
“Old to do what? Do you know how many cows I paid for that
woman and the things she puts up with you and the other
two?”
“I understand but ewww.” It doesn’t mean they have torub
each other’s legs everyday.
“You will grow up one day and find a husband, then youwill
make your own age restrictions,” he says.
I laugh, to be honest I’m not even thinking about findinga
husband right now. I can’t even properly handle a boyfriend.
I spot a tree of waterberries, unfortunately I’m not goingto
continue home until my tongue turns purple.
“No Nalenhle, you’re no longer a little girl, your legs aretoo
long to be climbing trees,” he says.
I know he just wants to rush back home to his wife. I
climb trees better than monkeys, I’m getting those
waterberries, I’m unemployed anyway, I can’t afford
fruits unless it’s wild fruits.
.
.
.
We join the small road heading home, there’s a familiarcar
parked on the way. It’s just a few yards away from home, I’m
shocked and embarrassed. Didn’t his father teach him
anything at all? Mr X too? My goodness, thisguy.
“Do you know who is this?” my uncle asks.
I’d be damned!
“No, I have never seen this car before,” I say.
I’m sure he can see us by now, he can drive away and park
somewhere else, I’m with my uncle. But he doesn’t,we get
closer, my uncle knocks on his window. I will act just as
surprised when he shows his face. What the fuckis he doing
here? Who gave him directions?
“You are blocking my sheep and chickens,” my unclesays.
He opens the door and climbs out, looking a bit scared.
“Sanibonani,” he says.
My uncle looks at me, I said I have no idea who this car
belongs to.
“You’re here plotting to attack my house or what?”
“I’m here to see Nalenhle malume,” he says.
The audacity of this guy!
“Well, Nalenhle has a home, you come and see her inher
home.”
“Aw malume!” I can’t have him coming with us.It’s
against the rules…his rules.
But he’s not playing, he’s not leaving me here with him.“You
should’ve called,” I hiss as he walks beside me.
“I tried,” he whispers.
This is not what I had in mind, I left the drama behind.
My aunt is outside, she’s surprised to see us arriving
with a guest she doesn’t know. She’s cool so I’m not that
worried about her. It’s my uncle I don’t trust. He knows
that I have a boyfriend, he accepts it because I don’t
leave him with a choice, but he doesn’t celebrate it.
We get inside, fortunately it’s sparking clean and well
organized.
“Who is with you?” aunt asks, looking at Nzalo.
“Nalenhle will introduce him, sit down.” Her husband
pulls her to sit down next to him.
Now it’s me and my illegal boyfriend who has zero knowledge
about village ways, and my uncle and auntopposite us. It
almost looks like we are two teams.
“Nalenhle?”
“Umh, this is Nzalo,” I say.
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“He was parked down the road, he says he’s here to see
Nalenhle,” her husband says.
“Here?” She’s shocked.
“No my love, let him see her.”
Okay, I wait for them to give us space.
Nothing.
“Don’t mind us,” he says.
How can I not mind them gawking at us?
“What happened?” Nzalo asks.
I thought he’d be clever enough not to go there.
“Nothing,” I say.
“You just left for nothing?”
“Yes,” I say.
“What about us?”
Really, this guy!
He glances at them, “I’m sorry malume nawe ma, butshe
just left without explaining anything to me. I’m
confused.”
“Oh, how dare. Continue,” -my uncle.Guess
what? He continues.
“I thought you left because of what happened the last time
we spoke. It wasn’t that deep, I just thought you’dat least
say sorry, that’s what people say when they have offended
someone.”
“How did I offend you?” I ask.
“You know what I said I don’t want and you pretended to
respect it, only for you to do otherwise.” His voice is low but
they can hear him very well. My aunt is still in a state of
shock, this has never happened in her lifetime.
“I told you why I did it,” I say.
“I don’t care, Nalenhle. But it’s fine, as I said, you can
prioritize whoever you want. I just wanted to see that you
are okay, I was worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I say.
“What happened to your tongue?”
I look at my uncle, asking about my tongue to him
equals to sexual intercourse.
“I was eating waterberries,” I say.
He locks his eyes on me, then his lips slowly breaks intoa
smile. I smile and look away. What did he think happened? I
kissed someone until my tongue turned purple?
“Should I move out with my wife?”
Now where is this coming from?
I look at him, “No, malume.”
“But there’s a new head now.”
Wait, didn’t he invite Nzalo in? I was even against it.“Nzalo
Hadebe, right?” he says.
Nzalo nods, “Yebo.”
“Next time you come here park your car away from my
house. Wait until she comes out of the house then talk to
her. This is a village, I don’t know what your father
taught you, but if you’re going to be a son-in-law here,
familiarize yourself with respect.”
I knew that it wasn’t a genuine invite, he was being
tested and he failed dismally.
.
.
.
I walk him out, it feels strange having him on my uncle’syard.
I’m just glad no neighbor was outside to witness
this. We stop outside his car, I still can’t believe he cameall the
way here.
“Your uncle is weird,” he says.
“No, you’re weird. Why did you follow us?”
“Because he said I can and I wanted to talk to you. Youlook
beautiful at home.”
I’m not beautiful, I’m wearing one of my old dresses, I did
coils on my hair, nothing about me screams the Nalehe met
and fell in love with.
“Can I ask you a question?”I
nod, “Go ahead.”
“Should I wait for you?”
It’s not a complicated question, I don’t know why itsounds
heavy.
“I love you,” I say.
“And so do I. But do you still want this? Is it part of yourplans
now that you have moved back here?” he asks.
“As I have said, I love you. I will always do, you will always
hold a special place in my heart. But I don’t wantto hold you
back, you can wait, when you get tired you have my blessing
to move on with life.”
I expected a response but I get none. This is not whathe
wanted to hear, I can see that he’s hurt. But I don’tknow
how long I’m going to be here. I love him, God knows that I
do, I also know that he loves me too. But
we both have a lot of interpersonal issues to work on.
There’s He has to attend court, face his mother’s killers,find
a way to work on his relationship with Msindisi,
without me interfering. And I also have a lot to figure outon
my own. Love doesn’t always win but if it’s written in the
stars, we will be together again.
For now this is where we are.
.
.
.

No, I shouldn’t be crying. I made the decision, I decidedto

come home and leave what I believed was my dreamfor so
long. It’s for the best, my soul tells me so. If he waits for me
he will get a better version of Nale, if he doesn’t, he will
move on to a better place.
I turn on my phone, messages flood in. Most were from him,
then there’s the angry bird, Nokuzola. I don’t know what
she’s angry at between me choosing unemployment in an
unstable economy or coming home. I need her to focus on
stepmothering and waitingfor her babydaddy who got shot
to come home. She moves in with Mr X everytime she feels
like it. I don’t have a sugar daddy to run to, I run home.

I’m going to buy a few things in town tomorrow to feed the

dead. I will give them a little tea-party, just to thank them
for protection and guidance so far.
“Nalenhle!” aunt yells from the kitchen.
I check my face and then make my way to her.She
looks at me in the eyes. “And now?”
“I was praying,” I lie.
“Okay, if you say so. You need to fetch your uncle’ssheep, his
ankle is giving him problems,” she says.
“Oh, you’re going to rub him?” I ask.
“Yes, then he will rest a bit. Please take them to the riverto
drink water first before bringing them home. Don’t leave the
little lamb, you’ll have to carry her because she injured her
leg.”
Am I sure that I made the right decision by coming back
home?
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 83
NOKUZOLA

Living with Onathi has been like nothing I could have ever
imagined. I watched her from a distance and concluded
based on her attitude. But trust me, her bad attitude is just a
cover of her true personality. She’s justa child that wears
long weaves.
Today her dad is coming home, with everything that’s been
going on he’s one person she has been needingthe most. I’m
also happy that he’s finally coming homebut he left things on
a certain level with me and that’s
not going to automatically get resolved. I’m afraid we still
need to sit down and talk. I still love him, that’s why I made it
my responsibility to look after his daughter.
Nzalo is bringing him home, I had to arrange a little
welcome-home something. All the food here was
bought, I have cooked twice in this house and both
times Onathi dished me with bad reviews.
I have some flowers, Onathi made him a card, we are
ready.

Nzalo’s car arrives, I don’t know why I start panicking.

Everything is good, there’s enough food, the main bedroom is
ready for him. Onathi has ran outside to
them, I remain inside, I’m nervous.
Nzalo is the first one to walk in carrying a bag. I haven’thad a
chance to talk to him about Nale.
“I’m hungry,” he says, throwing the bag on the lounge
couch and proceeding to the table. He waits for no
permission before grabbing a sticky wing, he looks a bit
down.
“You know that she left her job, right?” I ask.“And
me, yes I know,” he says.
“You guys broke up?” I’d be shocked.
“Not exactly but she said I can move on,” he says.
SMH. I really don’t know what’s going on with Nale, shestill
hasn’t returned my calls, she’s ignoring me on
Whatsapp.
“Did she tell you the reason?” I ask.
“She only said she wants to be home. I’m not backing down
though, I know what I want, now more than ever,”he says.
I’m not sure what he plans on doing, his whole life is here,
he can’t follow Nale to the village. I turn my eyestowards the
door and there he comes, with Onathi
behind him talking nonstop. I sit still, he walks in with hiseyes
on me. He knows very well if it wasn’t for this
unfortunate incident I wouldn’t have been here.
“So we were eating baked beans with soup,” Onathi
says.
“Was it good?” His eyes are still on me.“It
was better than head and feet curry.”
He laughs. His daughter still has a long way to go in life.One
day if she ever visits home with me, she will experience real
food.
“You dumped my bag on the couch for food?” he says toNzalo.
Nzalo hrugs and focuses on the food.
“Please help me,” he says to me.
He looks perfectly fine even though I can see that
there’s something under the T-shirt around his chest
area. I take the bag and lead him upstairs to his
bedroom. I made an effort for everything to meet his
standard.
I drop his bag on the floor, he sits on the bed.
“Hello Nokuzola,” he says.
“Hi, welcome home. Should I bring your food here?”“No,” he
says and stares at me.
I remain standing. For the first time it’s us, out of thehospital,
with no extra guest around.
“Sondela,” he says.
Deep breath. I take a step closer, he pulls me to sitdown.
“Is it painful?” I ask.
“No, it’s a healing wound. And I have a bunch ofpainkillers.”
I nod, “That’s better.”
“Thank you for being here with Onathi. I can see nothingis
broken and she’s pleasantly stunned by the new menu you
introduced.”
“I did what I had to do,” I say.
His eyes are on me, I look back at him. His face getscloser
until his nose is touching mine.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t let them go alone,” he says softly.I
was mad, I felt disrespected again, but I get it.
“It’s okay,” I say.
“I value your opinion and I respect you, okay? We’ll never go
through what we went through, I’m never goingto hurt you
again, I promise.”
I will believe it when I see it, for now I’m just risking it allfor
my heart.
“Do you know what’s been on my mind sinceyesterday?”
I shake my head, “No.”
“Sitting here with you next to me, holding your hand and
kissing you.” I turn my face too late, he traces my lips until
he fully nibbles on them. Gently kissing me with hisright
hand wrapped behind my neck.
It’s been too long, I pull back but he still wants more.
Kissing him doesn’t feel different, my body warms up, Iopen
my lips for him to get deeper. Ah fuck!
My harsh breathing gives it away. I know he’s affected
the same way. We look at each other, knowing very wellthat
we can’t take it any further.
“My love,” he says.
His soft tone melts me. “Hey,” I smile.
“Can I have my food here? Tell our kids that I need torest.”
“I asked and you said no.” It looks like he’s going to beneedy, I
can’t wait for him to fully recover.
.
.
.
They’re on the table, eating. When I walk in alone,
Onathi frowns.
“Where is Xolani?” she asks.
I thought she swore not to call him by name again if he
comes back home.
“He wants to rest, I will take his food upstairs. You, kids,can
enjoy yourselves here, he will see you in the morning,” I say.
“But he didn’t even look at my card,” she complains.
Xolani knows that she’s happy to see him home, he willspend
time with her tomorrow. I take the card with his
food and flowers. Nzalo keeps her distracted, I hear him
talking about movies. Nzalo always understands the
assignment.

He looks up, “What’s all that now?”

“Card from your daughter and flowers from me. Welcome
back home, I will put the flowers by your side,”I hand him the
plate and Onathi’s card.
He smiles, reading it.
“I’m so proud of her,” he says.
“I know, she’s handling everything with grace. But at some
point she’ll want closure from MaMkhwanazi.” I lived with
Nale, I know what it does to a person not to have the other
parent. Onathi’s case is worse becauseMaMkhwanazi gave
her away and opted for the aunt role instead. No child
deserves that.
“At least she will know where to find her,” he says.
“What about you? Do you still have questions for her?”
I’m asking because throughout this relationship his past-
especially MaMkhwanazi- has been a part of the baggage he
came with. He constantly had to go back in search for
answers.
“I don’t, I only have a question for you,” he says. “Alright,
ask.” I adjust on the bed and look at him.
He takes a few bites first. “You didn’t cook this, did you?”“No,
I bought everything,” I say.
“Where did you get money?”
“I work, Xolani.” Hhayi-bo this man, he thinks I’m broke
without him. I have been digging in my pockets here and
there to keep our lives moving.
“I’m embarrassed, you need to write these pins somewhere
or save them in your phone.” He gives me apin for each card
he has. I didn’t ask for them, I can takecare of myself and a
teenage girl for a week or two,
without his assistance.
“I can’t make you leave your house to come here and pay
bills. I’m sure your parents already dislikes me, imagine if
they find out that uyazondla la, you take care of yourself and
look after my daughter instead of sending money home.”
He’s definitely exaggerating this,my parents may disagree
with some of my decisions butthey know that I’m a
responsible person and I’m quite smart.
Onathi comes and tells us that Nzalo is taking her out. They
both need it, they must go and bond as cousins. I run a bath
for my patient and take the plate to the kitchen while he
takes a bath. They left a mess in the dining room, I’m not in
the mood to clean, not that I everam. I just collect leftovers
and put them in the fridge. I’mnot hungry, I only get myself a
slice of cake and take
fruits upstairs.
He's done bathing, now he’s sitting naked because I didn’t
put his clothes on the bed. It’s going to be a longweek! I get
his T-shirt and shorts, then help him lotion his back. He can
do it all himself, he just wants to havehis big baby
moments.
“Have you spoken to Nale since she left? She broke
Nzalo’s heart,” he asks.
“I did reach out but she still hasn’t gotten back to me.” It’s
not something new, I have also left and came here,didn’t
speak to her for days. The only thing she did
different was quitting her job, I really don’t know what’sgoing
to happen with her. All I know is that I can’t take care of
everyone, I have a baby coming.
“Did she say anything at all?” Xolani asks.
“No, she just left without even telling me. We share rent,so
next week I have to save for rent and pay it alone.”
Even if she wasn’t my cousin, I’d expect better from her,you
don’t treat a roommate like that.
“I know at some point you guys will resolve it,” he says.
Other times have been different but we are family, so itwill
get resolved. But I will never forget what she did.
“You’re going to sleep in our bed, angithi?”“What
do you think?” I ask.
“I don’t know but I’d like you to. I know you still have
certain feelings and I’m going to do everything in my
power to gain your trust.”
“Where is she?” I ask.
“Last time we spoke she was in Pretoria,” he says.
Interesting!
“And when was this?” I ask.
“It was a day after she came here. I just want to explainone
thing to you, I know you may not understand or accept it. We
have never dated or seen each other thatway, I had no
feelings for her whatsoever. We worked
together most of the times, which will never happen again,
and I was single when we started, that’s whenfavors began. I
should’ve stopped after we met, there
are habits you cannot take into a relationship, I fucked up. I
apologize for all the pain I caused you. I just want you to
know that you’re the only person in my heart andthe only
person I have had raw sex with in 3 years.”
I don’t accept it but I cannot change it either, so I’d rather
move on and talk about other things. Raw sex isnot an
achievement, I have swollen breasts as we speak.
“Why are you quiet?” he asks.
“I have nothing to say, I think I have expressed myselfenough.
I just hope you heard me and I will never be
that angry, vile woman again. You made me say things I
wouldn’t have ever said to you, just because I wanted you to
feel the same pain I was feeling.”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “But it’s the
things you had thought about. Not that I blame you, I also
question my paternity at times but I look just likethem.”
I really shouldn’t have gone there. As unbelievable as it
might be, that came out of nowhere, I had never thought
about it before.
“I’m sorry I said that, and talking about your relationship
with your mother. You have listened to my struggles withmy
dad and never made fun of them, I’d take it back if I could.”
“It’s fine makoti, I’m not holding a grudge,” he says.
I know he’s not holding a grudge but I think it will alwaysbe at
the back of his mind.
“How is my little peanut?” He opens his arm, I carefully sit
against him. He touches my tummy, there are some changes
but I still wear a dress and look like the normalZola.
“Growing a bit,” I say.
He turns his eyes to me. Something has changed fromhow
they were a minute ago; he looks proud. “It is my baby," he
says.
It sounds like a question but he’s not really asking.
“Yeah, it’s your baby,” I say.
His hand wraps around my tummy. “This is my first timein 43
years making someone pregnant and knowing about it. A lot
was happening when I found out, I don’t
think it has sunk in yet. I need to celebrate me.”
“Celebrate you? Who is pregnant kanti?” I’m so
confused.
“We are both pregnant,” he smiles. “But there are thingsthat
are a personal achievement, like this one, it meansa lot to
me. I’m a whole man, I have a family, Nokuzola.God is giving
me everything all at once, I don’t even know what to thank
him for first.”
“Maybe saving your life first, you could’ve died,” I say.
“I can’t kneel, just hold my mind.” Oh, he meant really
praying.
I thought he was going to thank God in his little corner,
alone and silently. I have never heard him pray before, let’s
hear it.
.
.
.

Medication drove him to sleep early, I waited until Onathi

came home before sleeping. I didn’t sleep early but now I
have to wake up because he’s awake.
“What do you need?” I ask.
“Just you, please face me,” he says.
I turn and sleep on my right side, facing him.
“Ulale kanjani?” he asks.
“I slept well, just a bit late because I waited for Onathi.Wena?”
“Like a baby,” he says.
I nod and close my eyes again.
“I want to go and check at the pub, I know others were
under good care, I’m only worried because they were
short-stuffed and it was probably busy over the weekend.”
“So the doctor said you must go back to work today?” Iask.
“But I’m only going to check, I’m not going to work,” he
says.
“If you say so.” It’s too early for arguments.
“Mana phela mama, don’t sleep.” He puts his hand onmy
cheek, I have no choice but to open my eyes. “Maybe
Hadebe no longer works, you are not even checking. Don’t
you miss your man kanti?”
“Your body needs to heal,” I say.
“My lower body isn’t hurt. I don’t want you to starve, please
pull this thing down and have fun.” He wants meto take
advantage of him.
“No,” I refuse.
“It’s been a long time Nokuzola, please, I will help you.
Ngikukhumbule."
I’ve had moments where I really craved for a man. But Ihave
self-control, I can go for months without having sex.
“I didn’t see any condoms here when I was cleaning,” Isay.
He sighs, “Condom? You’re pregnant already nje.”
“Yeah but you’re not a faithful person,” I say. “Look in
the bathroom,” he’s hurt.
Unfortunately it’s going to be this way until I decideotherwise.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 84
NALENHLE

Nothing is really interesting in a rural village. There’s one

routine everyday; wake up, cook and clean, then sleep. Not
even the gossip in between can entertain me.There’s only
one shop around and it only sells bread and kids’ goodies. I
couldn’t get Khanyisa to take over my place but she went for
a cleaning post and got the job. I’m happy for her but with
her also gone it means
I’m always alone and bored at home. Thami is a boy, hecan
leave in the morning and only come back around
dinner time. My uncle’s attention is on his wife andsheep.

Today I did everything early, now I’m bored in front of our 4

channel TV. With all that said, I still don’t miss Tongaat. I
have so much peace here and it’s wild fruits season, when
I’m done eating I go out to the bushes forwash-down.
My phone rings, it’s my ex or soon-to-be ex, Nzalo.“Hey,” I
answer.
We haven’t talked since he came here the other day. Ithought
he moved on already.
“I’m on my way, what should I bring you?”
“On your way where?” I’m confused.
“Ngizok’bona, what should I bring you?”
But…didn’t I tell him to wait for me or move on? Right
now he’s doing none.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Okay, I will just buy what I like. I will be there in anhour,” he
says and drops the call
Someone find me, I’m confused. Why is he coming
here?
“Nalenhle!” my aunt.
This one never has a good timing.
“I’m coming,” I leave my phone in the charger and go toher.
“Remember I asked you to go and get izintanga ensimini.
Your uncle asked for them, I will make themquickly and serve
them as a salad,” she says.
“No malumekazi, I don’t remember,” I say.
“Well, now you remember. Get a plastic bag and gobefore it
gets late.”
Yeah, I wanted to be home, right?
Nzalo is coming, I can’t be appearing between pumkin
plants like a rabbit.
“My body is itchy, I have to take a bath first,” I say. “But
you can bath when you come back, you will get
dirty anyway, it’s between congested maize plants,” she
says.
“No, I prefer to bath first.”
I need time, at least leave the house in 45 minutes when
Nzalo is close. Our family cultivating field is a bit distant from
the house, nobody will know that he’s here.
.
.
.

I’m okay if this guy leaves me, yet I’m making an effort to
compete with his potential future girlfriends. I wear a push-
up bra and floral shirt, leaving all the top buttons
open. I have a lot of mini skirts, I put on a pleated one and
seal the look with white sneakers.
“Hhayi-bo, uyaphi manje? I thought you were going to get
me izintanga to cook for your uncle,” says my aunt walking
in without knocking.
“This is how I dress in Tongaat,” I say.
“But you’re not in Tongaat, I’m sending you to the field.”
“I want to look beautiful for the sheep and goats,” I say.
She gives me a weird look and tosses a plastic bag tome. I
think he’s almost here, I put on the lipgloss and some
perfume. Mirror twirl! I look better than all his potential
future girlfriends combined.

He calls, I’ve been sitting by the road for almost ten

minutes. I direct him to where I am and ask that he
leaves the car in a distance. There are no hijackers
around here, he will find his car intact.
I see him walking towards me, you can tell from how he
walks that he’s not from around here. I don’t know why I’m
so charmed, like I have never seen him before.
Didn’t I propose a possible break up?
“Hello stranger,” he says.
“Hi,” I’m hypnotized, it’s not even funny.
His brows slightly furrow, he’s smiling with confusion.“Are
you alright?”
“I…I’m okay.” Shwele, is it my first time seeing a man?
Snap out of it, Nale.
“Why are you here Nzalo?” I ask.
“I’m here to see my girlfriend. Awusakhumbuli ungiqoma?
You agreed to be one, remember?”
So everything I said the other day when he was here
meant nothing to him.
“But I said you have to wait for me to come back or
move on,” I remind him.
“What did I choose?” he asks.I
roll my eyes, really now?
“Nothing,” I say.
“Exactly. Are we going to stand here?”
“I’m actually going inside the field, my aunt sent me.”
“Okay, let’s go in,” he says.
My eyes widen. In my aunt’s field?
What will people say?
“Or we can go to the car, your things are there.”My
things? I didn’t ask him for anything.
We decide to go to his car and spend some time. I willsee
izintanga later.

He opens the back door, there’s a full shopping bag anda box
of pizza on the seat. When was the last time I atepizza? I’ve
been eating amagwinya and aunt’s steam bread. I take it to
the front seat with me.
“Are you happy here so far?” he asks.
“It’s boring but I’m happy. I did a small tea-party for the
underground gang and my mother has been visiting mein
my dreams. Spiritually, I’m in a very good place.”
“I’m happy for you,” he says.
“What about you? Did you go to court?”
“Yeah, I did,” he clearly doesn’t want to go into details. I
understand, he has to re-live the day his mother died.
“Have you spoken to Msindisi?” I ask.
“Yeah, we speak every now and then,” he says.
“I still don’t understand why he left. He asked if you’ve
told me something about him, next thing I heard he was
leaving.” I’m still confused.
“Nothing, he wanted to be away, just like you.”
I feel like there’s something going on with Msindisi and he’s
hiding it from me. I already know everything about them,
what could be so bad?
“I can’t believe we celebrated 6 months together and
then you left. I have never felt so heartbroken but this isthe
time for me to prove myself to you. I’m not perfect but I
love you,” he says.
“I didn’t leave because of you, I just ran out of purpose,”I
say.
“Our relationship should’ve given you purpose. Am I that
bad?”
“No.” I love him for who he is.
I may have complained about a few things but none of it
would’ve made me turn my back on our relationship. It
wasn’t him, it was everything.
“I feel like babomncane before Zola right now,” he says,
chuckling and shaking his head.
“You’re lonely?” I ask.
“Yeah, I went from having a girlfriend and family. A
stepmother and a brother, whom I could always go to for
company, food and prayer, to completely being by myself in
an empty house everyday.”
I feel sorry for him, I wish I could’ve had a choice to choose
time. However, I didn’t plan to leave when I left.
“But maybe this period will help me connect more to myself
and hopefully find a girlfriend, as you suggested,”he says.
This pizza is delicious, I just wish I could’ve warmed itfirst.
“I downloaded Tinder,” he says.
The slice of pizza almost choke me to death.
“You did what?” I didn’t hear that well.
“I downloaded Tinder,” he repeats. “Remember you saidI
have your blessing to look for someone who will fill in your
shoes.”
“Nobody can ever fill my shoes and I’m taking back my
blessing.” It hasn’t even been two years since I said thatbut
he’s already on Tinder. Fuck men!
“You had this Tinder all along, right?” I ask.
“No, I didn’t,” he denies.
He’s a liar!
“No, you had it Nzalo. It can’t be that in a week you havedone
a dating app research, selected one that’s suitablefor you and
downloaded it.” I refuse to believe that this happened in one
week.
“You know that downloading only takes a couple of clicks,
not research and selection process.” Now he’splaying smart,
I wasn’t born yesterday.
“I don’t care, delete it,” I say.
His pupils dilate, humorously. “Why?”
“I took back my blessing.” It’s not that hard tounderstand.
He laughs, “I was joking, meeting a girl in my father’s
funeral is better than Tinder.”
One day I will wake up in ICU because of this man. I close the
box of pizza and put it away, then drink somewater before
kissing him.
“Is this how we are going to see each other now?” he
asks.
“This is how unofficial boyfriends see their girlfriends inthe
village,” I say.
He smiles, “Well, I don’t mind. I have a busy schedule until
the end of this week but I will definitely come and see you
between Saturday and Sunday. Okay?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
He captures my lips in another deep kiss and then letsme
go.
He looks at me with some admiration and then smiles.
“Jobless gang, how are you going to do your nails now?”
“I have a nail clipper, it works like magic,” I say.
“What if I mistakenly take your hand and scratch myself
thinking it’s my hand?”
That has never happened anywhere in the world. Thereare
many girls who keep their nails short, maybe the only
difference is that they have sane boyfriends.
“Open that wallet and see what you find,” he says.
“For real?” God really loves me.
I grab the wallet and open it. I know he didn’t keep this
money by mistake, he withdrew it for me. Do I have to
leave some for him to pay for petrol?
“They have speedpoints in petrol garages, right?” I ask. He
laughs, “No.”
Silly, I know they do. I’m taking all of it, I will count it athome.
I don’t trust anybody with money, I push it inside my bra.
“Thank you,” I say once it’s safely tucked in.
“No kiss?”
I lean over and kiss him.
.
.
.
I find it so thoughtful and romantic of him to bring me abag
full of goodies. In the village I cannot get most of
these anywhere unless I go to town. My aunt’s meals are
always solid, I will have something to snack on for atleast a
week. Watching him drive away breaks my heart,but it’s
getting dark and he still has a long way to drive.
I’m lucky our outside light bulb burst yesterday, I sneakwith
my pizza and goodies bag to Thami’s rondavel.
He’s inside doing his homework.He
looks up, “What is that?”
“Shhh!” I carefully shut the door and put it all on hisstudy
table.
“Don’t say anything, I will share everything with you,” Isay.
“But where did it come from? You didn’t go to towntoday.”
“Just like you have a girlfriend you ask money to buy
things for, I also have a boyfriend who buy things for me.Can I
leave it here and fetch it once they go to bed?”
“No!” he says.
“I was going to give you R50 but since…”
“Okay, okay. Deal!”
Why did I have to beg? Kids!
“You can have the pizza and some chips.” I have to go to the
main house and show them that I’m home beforethey
suspect something else.
I walk in, they both look up and stare at me. Mean, solid
stares.
“Is it my turn to wash dishes?” I’m confused.
Silence.
Okay, they’re probably going through a menopausemood
together.
I head to my room.
“Nale,” aunt calls me back.I
turn and look at them.
“Iphi imfino? I sent you to get me pumkin leaves to cookfor
your uncle, where are they?”
This right here is called a disaster. How did I forget themain
thing I left the house for?
“I went there….”
“And?”
Jesu wami!
“I think Zama’s father’s goats are the ones who ate the
pumkin leaves. I found them inside the field.” I hope
those innocent goats will find it in their hearts to forgiveme.
“Zadla no-plastic? They also ate the plastic bag?”
Oh shit, I left with an empty plastic bag. I don’t even
remember where I threw it, maybe I left in Nzalo’s car.
“Yazi Thabethe, I always tell those people to look aftertheir
goats!”
God please, she mustn’t confront them. I’m not here to
cause trouble in the village, I’m a peaceful person.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 85
NOKUZOLA

I gave our landlord a month notice and paid rent in full.Nzalo

helped us move everything from the house to
Xolani’s garage. We didn’t have a lot, just a few furnitureand
two beds. I don’t know what I’m going to do with
them yet. They can’t be in the garage forever, Xolani willneed
his space. So it’s between selling everything or hiring a truck
to take them home. If I’m selling, I will sell even Nale’s bed
and not give her the money because
the least she could’ve done is take off the burden ofmoving
her belongings around.

I’m going home tomorrow, I didn’t tell them. I can’t run away
forever, they already know that I’m pregnant. I need to have
a conversation with my dad, there’s been anew update since I
told him that I’m calling things off
with the Hadebes. Xolani wants to pay for the damagesand
continue where he left off with lobola. I don’t know when he
wants to have the actual wedding but things will have to be
a little faster since there’s already a baby
on the way and I have moved in with him. Am I happy?
Absolutely. We both work, I see him in the afternoons,
sometimes he comes home after 8pm, there’s nothing I can
say moving in with him changed. There’s a helper, Icome
home to a clean house, most of the times he gets dinner
arranged. I only did what I’d say is too much chores when he
just came from the hospital. He’s strongas an ox, it didn’t
take more than three days for him to be back on his feet.

Today he’s later than usual, Onathi has already gone tobed,
it’s almost 22h00. He was held up in the pub, he was calling
every 10 minutes letting me know, he didn’twant to start
suspecting him of other things. I’m waitingfor him in the
kitchen, having a cup of hot chocolate.
I hear him driving in, a few minutes later he’s walking inand
my heart just melts.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, coming to hug me.
“It’s okay,” I kiss his lips and go back to my hotchocolate.
“Is she in her room?” he asks.
“Yeah but she’s okay, we had spaghetti and cheese,then
some ice-cream,” I say.
“Okay my love, I will take a bath, I already ate,” he says.
“I will finish my chocolate and follow.” I think we areslowly
moving to a better place.
I’m healing and enjoying being his woman again. I tookthe
car back, commuting got tiring.
I finish my hot chocolate and head to the bedroom. He’sstill
taking a bath, I brush my teeth in the sink and then wait for
him in bed.
I have given him a hard time, he’s been walking around
eggshells and overcompensating, especially when he’s not
home, he calls endlessly to prove that he’s not with anyone.
It’s a stage we have to go through but there areother things I
can appreciate him for regardless of what he did.
He comes out of the bathroom, being butt naked is hisnew
habit when we are in the bedroom alone. He could’ve taken
his clothes with him.
“At least wrap a towel around,” I say.
“It’s just me and you,” he says.
“I want to massage you and your nakedness will distractme.”
I don’t want to massage him while looking at his butt. But he
doesn’t care, he sits on the bed and connects his phone to
the charger.
“I want to give you a massage, you’ll have to lie down,” Isay.
“So you’re serious?” He looks surprised.I’m
a nice person, aren’t I?
“You work hard everyday and I benefit from it.” He’s done a
lot for me; he sheds off a lot of financial burden.Nale calls
him a sugar daddy but I know that’s not what
he is. He doesn’t do all that he does for sexual favours, it’s
how he shows his power as a man and the ability
that he can take care of me. He’s from that generation, aman
has to prove himself by being a provider. He’s not a
sugardaddy, he’s a man.
“I love you,” I say.
“Hawu Nokuzola,” he’s out of words.
I haven’t been the nicest to him and this seems to comeout
of nowhere.
“I do, and I want you to be happy. Nothing has changed from
the promises I made to you when we got together, Ijust want
to be your peaceful place,” I say.
“You are my peaceful place, I look forward to coming home
to you everyday. And thank you, Nokuzola, I appreciate you.”
He pulls me and wraps his arms aroundme.
It feels like home. I know I wouldn’t want to be in any man’s
arms. He brushes my tummy and then kisses mycheek.
“Your words just made me happy,” he says.
I know how to get to his heart, I know my way around.
Little things melt him, he’s a sucker for affection.
“Do you want the massage or not?” I ask.He
smiles, “I want it, please.”
“Then get on your stomach, I will get the oil.”
I have never given any man a massage before, love willmake
you do crazy things. I get the oil and rub it in my
hands, then start around his neck to the shoulders. His low
moans tell me that I’m doing a good job. This man can leave
before 7am and comes back at 8pm. He has people running
his business establishments but he’s stilljust as much involved.
I stop around his waist, I don’t know if he’s fallen asleep.I get
off the bed, his hand grabs me.
“Please continue,” he says.
“Your legs?” I ask.
“Everywhere, it feels good.”
I don’t think I’m massaging his butt, I will skip to his back
thighs and then go to his feet.
And then now? See, this is why I wanted him to wear
something. Why is he moving like he’s making love to the
bed?
“Don’t be naughty,” I say.
He chuckles, “Can I face up? I need massage downhere
as well.”
He’s taking it too far. He turns around, looking horny and
sleepy at the same time.
He wants a kiss, I know where this is going. He pulls meto the
bed and pins me down, rolling over me and desperation
kisses me while trying to find access under my dress.
“When is my sentence ending? I miss feeling you.” His
fingers are tapping between my folds.
He traces my lips with a kiss before giving me a chanceto
respond.
“Condom, Xolani,” I say.
“Why are you doing this to me? You think I don’t check my
health status and I’d do something to put you and mybaby at
risk?”
He’s really turning me off.
“We can have this conversation some other time, fuckme or
let me go, please.” I know he likes a but of
fussiness in bed. As soon as I give him the ultimatum, he
shuts me with a kiss and pulls the panty to the side,almost
tearing it, and rubs my clit.
“Let’s continue,” he says.
“Then get the condom,” I say firmly.
He inhales sharply and then gets off. He’s not satisfiedbut he
needs to release. He gets it and comes back, kissing me like
he’s being forced to.
“Are you no longer in the mood?” I ask.
“But Nokuzola this is not fair, one minute you say we are
alright, next you’re punishing me. After you give birth you
will have another excuse for us to use condoms everyday.
Nami ngiwumuntu, treat me like your man, nota hook-up.”
He’s ranting because I asked for a condom. All this speech,
just for a condom!
“Ngichamela kuplastic everyday like I’m in a brothel, inmy
house with the mother of my children. When am I getting a
break? Just for once…”
Sigh.
“Leave the condom,” I say.
“I’m not forcing you, I’m just asking for freedom. I’m clean,
you know that. I just want to be inside you and bewarm,” he
says.
“I said it’s fine.” Gosh, I will turn dry discussing this.
“I love you, MaThabethe. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m
grateful.”
Sigh!
He kisses me, I welcome his lips and open my legs for him. I
need to be more wet, he rubs his tip on my clit andteases my
opening until I’m moist enough. Then he pushes in half of his
shaft.
His eyes shut, he pushes in every inch until fully buried
inside.
“Nokuzola,” his head is against me, breaths escalating.I
wrap my arms around his waist, “Yes babe?”
“Ungang’lahli, amathemba ami wonke akuwe, don’t
leave me.”
“I won’t,” I say.
He moves; I wrap my legs around him.
Our breath collide, he’s deep where I want him to be. He’s
hitting the corners I want him to hit, I don’t want himto pull
out even though I can see that he needs a moment, he’s
strained.
He moans, enjoying every thrust. “Ohhh, dali wami!”
“Yes Hadebe,”
“Where were you? I looked for you my whole life,
ungafiki.”
“I’m here now,” I say.
“Ungahambi nenkomo yami, Nokuzola.” His pace picksup, I
know what’s about to come.
I unwrap my legs but it’s too late.
“I’m cumming dali, I’m cumming!”
I can have a say but it won’t change anything.
“Chama Hadebe,” I say.
That triggers a loud groan, I have to cover his mouth before
the whole Tongaat finds out that I have a tight cookie. I only
remove it when he’s quiet, just breathingwith his mouth open.
He opens his eyes, “I love you.”
.
.
.

One thing I didn’t want was to see my dad first. But

guess who is in the yard? Him.
I park in the yard and make my way to him, to greet.
“This is a surprise!” he smiles.
“I just missed home. Ninjani?”
“No complain, we are all well.”
He’s surprisingly nice and not even asking about the
pregnancy or the car. I make my way in the house, Naleis in
the kitchen peeling potatoes. Finally, we meet!
She’s been ignoring me for weeks, I’m not even sure Iwant to
greet her. Luckily mom appears, looking all excited and
surprised.
“You could’ve told me that you’re coming,” she says.
“I wanted to surprise you guys.” Particularly this one
who’s been avoiding me.
She hugs me, “You’re glowing, hey. How are you?”“I’m
good,” I say.
“Good and pregnant, say it. Do you see the results ofnot
listening to us? Are you happy now?”
“Surprisingly, I am,” I say.
“In labor ward you won’t be. It’s not going to be nice as itwas
when you created it,” she says.
Should she be scaring me off, not comforting me?I will
cross that bridge when I get there.
“Where is Thami? He needs to get things from the car.” Ilook
for a cup and get water.
Nale and I haven’t exchanged words. “I
will get him,” mom says, walking out.
Now it’s the two of us, she’s peeling the potatoes andacting
like I don’t exist.
“Hello,” I say.
“Hi,” she responds, focused on her potatoes.
“You could’ve been a decent human being and notifiedme
and our landlord before leaving,” I say.
“Really? After all the rubbish you’ve said on Whatsapp?”She’s
referring to my venting texts.
I was frustrated, that’s what happens when a roommatedoes
you dirty.
“You notified Nzalo, why couldn’t you tell me?” I ask.
“Were we on good terms?” She wants to pin it on thatnow.
We were on speaking terms, that’s what important. And she
wasn’t on good terms with Nzalo either, yet she toldhim.
“What is your real issue?” she asks.
“My real issue is that you left without telling me, we lived
together and shared expenses. I’ve had to pay rent alone and
move the furniture to Xolani’s garage. You lefteverything for
me, you didn’t consider how that might
affect me financially.”
“I wasn’t thinking about all of that and when it clicked, I was
going to try and sort it out, but you started going offlike I’m a
kid that needed your permission. If my uncle says I can come
home, who are you to tell me that I can’t?”
“You can do whatever you want Nale but don’t be a self-
centered person. I have left too but I held my end and
took responsibility when I had to.” I know she’s not goingto
apologize and pin it on me lashing out on her, as if I was
supposed to coddle her for bad behavior.
“What’s going on?” Dad walks in.
I’m done talking, nothing is going on.
She leaves the potatoes she was peeling and stormsout.
Now her uncle will follow, typical Nale.
He looks at me, “What’s going on?”
“You should ask the one who just stormed out, not me.”
“Now you’re giving me attitude, I’m asking a question
because there’s an argument in my house,” he says.
Slowly the responsibility will be placed on me and I’m just
not having it today.
“I’m not arguing with anyone. Who did you hear
arguing?” I ask.
“Nokuzola! Just because you talk to certain people myage
anyhow doesn’t mean disrespect me as well, I’m your
father,” he says.
Mom walks in to the exchange and asks him to the
bedroom. I need more water, this environment is tootoxic.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 86
NOKUZOLA
After dinner mom calls me to the side, I know a
confrontation is coming. Nale who stormed out while dadwas
speaking is on her phone, not accused of any disrespect. And
here I am, being told how disrespectful Iwas to her husband.
“You need to apologize to your dad. You know if you weren’t
pregnant he would’ve whooped your ass,” shesays.
“Okay, I will talk to him,” I’m just exhausted.
“Please do. Have you seen the doctor yet?”
“No, we are yet to make our first doctor visit together," Isay.
“Why did you go back? Because you’re pregnant?”I
shake my head, “No, I love him.”
“Mntanami be careful please,” she’s lost trust in Xolani. She
glances over to Nale and then comes closer to me, whispering
excitedly. “I think she has a boyfriend, here inthe village.”
“Is that good news?” I’m confused.
“Yeah, better than a city boy who knows nothing about
village life and culture.”
That must be Nzalo. I don’t know how I feel about Nale
breaking up with him and dating someone else here. If it’s
true, she’s just looking for a rebound, nothing more.

Dad is sitting outside, shirtless. It’s a bit hot today, I take my

own chair and join him. I know he’s mad, not
because I talked back but because I made his niece
angry.
“Mom says I should apologize for how I spoke to you,” Isay.
He doesn’t respond, he just glances at me once andshifts his
eyes away.
“At times I feel like you enable Nale’s behavior. I’m here
specifically to address issues between us and you wantto
pick a side.” I always let things slide because for a very long
time I’ve been scared to confront my dad.
“I asked what was going on to both of you. Why is everything
about sides? I deserve to know what’s goingon in my house,”
he says.
“What’s going on is that your niece moved out without letting
me know, leaving everything to me. You told her
to come back home without even considering the burdenthat
will leave to me. She quit her job, dad.” He could’ve reasoned
with her, Nale listens to him.
“What did you want me to say? Tell her not to come
home even when I could hear that she wasn’t okay? I
would’ve done the same to you, I’m not going to lose any
of you. I lost my job when you were 19 years old and you
never went to bed with an empty stomach. I don’t care if
you’re 50 or she’s 50, if the going gets
tough I will need you back home. I can take care of my
family, I always make a plan.”
“I don’t think you would’ve done the same for me. No
matter how much I help you out, you will always
disregard my feelings. You wouldn't have done the same.”
Not that I will ever want to come back and stay here full-
time. He may have done it one time when he paid for a
bakkie to fetch me but that was for a differentcase.
“You’re my princess, the first person to ever call me dad,and I
love you. But this is my house, you’re not going to tell me
what to do and when. I appreciate you helping out but if that
means you’re going to be like this towardsme, then I’d rather
you stop and just look after yourself.”
Tears burn my eyes. Nobody wants to hear such words
coming from their parent. How come nobody understands
where I’m coming from?
“You have moved in with a man that made you pregnant.
If you trust him so much you shouldn’t be throwing a
tantrum about your cousin leaving you under his care.It’s
unfair of you to want her in a place that could’ve possibly
broken her, just because you want to have somewhere to
run back to if things don’t go your way.”He stands up and
picks his chair.
“I don’t know why you’re crying,” he stops and looks atme.
I don’t respond, he walks in.

Two minutes later Nale is walking out.

“I will send you the half I was supposed to pay,” shesays.
“This is not about the fuckin’ money, you don’t care for
other people Nale.” How is it possible that nobody gets it?
Nale doesn’t care about anyone beside herself.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” she says.
It took her weeks to be sorry and I don’t even think she
means it.
“I felt overwhelmed and sad. I was alone, you weren’t
there. I didn’t see beyond what I was feeling. I know I
should’ve said something and held my end of bargain.
But you made it seem like you were more mad at me leaving
then it was about the house, that’s why I ignoredyou.”
Fuck, I hate that I’m crying on my first day home.
Everyone should be happy when they’re home and
seeing their family.
“Dad says I must stop helping them just because I expressed
how I feel. Why does everyone expect me tojust take
everything and keep it moving, as if I have no feelings?” I’m
confused, I’m not a rock, I’m a human being.
“Because of how you express yourself, Zola. You say I’mself-
centered, well you’re very mean when you like and it’s hard
to listen to you,” she says.
I know who I am, I know that I’m not a mean person.
“How is it mean to ask questions?” I ask.
“How you deliver your questions is very mean and you
know that you’re sensitive, if I had replied back you
wouldn’t have liked it,” she says.
“Now I’m sensitive? You don’t get the same heat that I get.”
She literally gets away with everything. They’ve never
misunderstood her, everything she does gets linked to how
she was born and swept under the carpet.
“That’s not true, I get just as much scolding, if not more.
You’re sensitive and I don’t care, so I never dwell on who
shouted at me and what they said. This is your dad’s house
but it’s my home as well. Don’t be that daughter who turns
the mood sour for outsiders when she’s home.” She goes
back inside.
What the fuck? I didn’t call her an outsider, never have Iever
treated her like one. Oh my goodness, I shouldn’t have come
here.

His phone rings twice, he answers.

“Makoti,”
“I’m coming back tomorrow.”
“What’s happening? Have you been crying?” “Everyone
just misunderstands me. I don’t know what
else to do. I came here to have a conversation with Nalebut
now it’s everyone against me.”
“Okay, I just hope it doesn’t put me in trouble with
Thabethe. I don’t want him to think I’m interfering in his
family issues.” He doesn’t want me to come back
tomorrow.
I can’t believe this.
“Nokuzola,” he says.
“I’m listening.” I’m holding back tears.
“Please try to resolve it before you leave, for my sake,
ngiyacela.”
Zola should be a bigger person, always. I drop the calland
switch my phone off.
.
.
.
I feel light-headed when I wake up, usually I wake up atnight
and snack on something. I wake up and visit the loo, then
wash my face and go to the kitchen.
Nale is here, sigh.
“Morning,” I say, taking a kettle from her side.
“How did you sleep?” she asks.
“Good, I’m surprised you care.”
“Come on, I apologized and said I will pay what I oweyou,” she
says.
“After weeks? You should save it. Who is the newboyfriend?” I
deserve to know.
We tell each other everything, whether we are fighting ornot.
“New boyfriend?” She looks confused.
“Mom said you have a new boyfriend here in the village.So
who is it? Do I know him?” I don’t know anyone I could
approve of, most guys here have known scandals.
“It’s Nzalo, he comes and checks me, I don’t know whyshe
thinks it’s someone from the village, nobody is my type here,”
she laughs.
“I thought you guys broke up,” I’m confused.
“I suggested it and he refused, so we are doing it in a
distance now. And guess what? I’m loving it, he’s pulledup
his socks and doing everything I asked him to do when I was
still close and forever available for him.”
“I think he panicked, he wasn’t okay when I saw him.” I’m
glad they are still together, I still think he’s right forher.
My water boils, I make tea and bread.
“I’m leaving today,” I say.
“You just got here yesterday. Is it because you arguedwith
your dad?”
“I came here specifically for you but I also wanted to talkto
him about the damages. I don’t think we will talk
today, I will leave the message with mom,” I say.“Is
Mr X sending his people again?”
“Yeah, he has to,” I say.
“And you want to marry him, you’re sure?”
I nod, “Yes, I do but I’m scared. I’m healing from a
heartbreak and I'm pregnant, and now I only have himand
his family as a support system.”
“But you have me and the whole family. You’re not anorphan.”
She doesn’t get it.
Now circumstances force me to be next to him, whetherI like
it or not. If I wasn’t pregnant I could’ve rented a backroom
somewhere, just to have my own space to fallback to.
“And I think he learned his lesson. He knows better thanto
trigger your “crazy” buttons again,” she says.
“It’s too soon for me to fully trust him again but it is what it
is.” This is part of growing up, I want to spend the rest of my
life with him and it begins here.
.
.
.

I’m back, only Onathi is home. I ask her to take my bag to

the bedroom and fix a snack. My phone rings as I sit down,
it’s my mother.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Have you arrived?”
“Yeah, I just arrived.”
“This thing between you and your father really stresses me.
Now he’s blaming me for letting you leave while he wasn’t
home.”
“Awu, but I made it known that I was leaving today,” I’m
confused. I didn’t sneak out, I was getting ready in front of
him, then he decided to go with his sheep.
“You still have to tell him, he mustn’t catch it in the air,”she
says.
“Fine, I will call him.” Sigh.
Dad wasn’t even supposed to get involved, this is getting
on my last nerve. I’m always doing somethingwrong in his
eyes. I call his phone.
“Thabethe,” I say when he answers. “Now
you leave without saying goodbye?”
“But you heard me saying I’m coming back today and you
decided to go with your sheep. If you were home Iwould’ve
said goodbye,” I say.
“Do you know that you still need my blessing? Even
when you’re in that house you’re protected by the
Thabethe ancestors, you’re just a stranger to the
Hadebes.”
“I do know that,” I say.
“I don’t think you do, please be a child that you are. Don’t
put that man on top of my head, giving him powerto
disrespect me,” he says.
But Xolani didn’t do anything, I chose to come back.
“I will talk to your mother about the message you left,”he
says and drops my call.
I can’t say I’m shocked that he’s mad at me for leaving, even
though I wasn’t obliged to stay until tomorrow. But taking it
out on Xolani is taking it to a different level.
Xolani has never disrespected my family, not even Nale
who’s provoked him every way possible.
.
.
.

AT THE THABETHES

Thabethe has been venting, and just like most husbands,

he’s pinning Zola’s behavior on her mother. She’s tried to
sort it out, Zola just called him but he’s stillgoing on.
“He has a daughter, he will get his karma,” he says.
Khululiwe sighs, “At the end of the day he’s going to beour
son-in-law.”
“Son? Are you well, Khululiwe?” He shakes his head andsits on
the bed. “She came here to take anything I say and turn it
against me. I thought we talked things
through but clearly this child hates me,” he says.
“She doesn’t hate you, you’re her father,” -Khululiwe.
“I was, when I was still providing for her. Now she has
another man providing for her and giving her a home,” he
shrugs and rests his head down on the pillow.
“Maybe it’s time we meet this Xolani. We are having a
grandchild and he’s the father, we cannot be having
these issues. I will want my grandchild to visit me and if you
are not on good terms with Nokuzola and him, they will not
let that happen.”
“What did I do to them?” He looks at his wife and takes a
deep sigh. “I committed a crime now by welcoming Nalenhle
back home, whereas she knows very well that I’d do the
same for her. I didn’t send them to work, they can both stop
working and my house will stand still. NowI have to take
instructions from Nokuzola? The child I birthed.”
“You have to calm down, Thabethe,” she says.
“I am calm.” His eyes have turned bloodshot, Nokuzola has
always been a well behaved child, this new attitude came
with the Hadebe man.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

I’m watching TV with Onathi, in a month she will be going

back to college and furthering her studies. I’m
grateful for the little time we’ve spent together, I can nowsay
we are best friends. She’s opened up to me and accepted that
I’m in her dad’s life.
The door opens, the dad walks in and kisses my lips.
“How was your journey?” he asks, going to Onathi and
hugging her.
“It was fine except that now my dad is mad at me for
leaving without saying goodbye to him.”
He exhales heavily and lowers down to the chair. “I hateit
when you have issues with your family because somehow I
end up looking like I’m trying to be your superhero and
meddling in whatever is going on.”
“So you don’t want me here?”
Onathi gets up and leaves before it gets dramatic.
“That’s not what I’m saying, I’m just saying he’s going tohate
me.”
“So? Who cares?” Dad doesn’t like him anyway.
I don’t see why he should be so worried about being on his
good side. If that man doesn’t feel you, there’s
nothing you can do to appeal to him. Trust me, I know.My
phone rings, it’s my mom again.
I answer, “Ma.”
“Your dad and I want to meet Xolani.”“Why?” I
ask.
“Do we need to tell you the reason?”
“But Ma…”
“Zola don’t argue for no reason, you’re the middle
person, arrange it,” she ends the call.
This is what he didn’t want, I know this is not going to bea
friendly meeting.
“What is she saying?” he asks.
“They want to meet you,” I say.
I can see the fear in his eyes. "I feel set up," he says.
"By me?"
He sighs heavily and doesn't respond.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 87
NALENHLE

I know there’s a lot going on, in the family and the villageat
large, but my mind is only on my guest who is coming to see
me. It would’ve been better if it was during the weekend,
they would’ve been distracted by funerals andvillage
ceremonies. Now, as old as I am, I have to make up an excuse
to leave the house. They’re under the impression that I’m
seeing someone from the village, I don’t know how their
minds work, honestly. I try not to dress up suspiciously. I
wear skinny jeans and socks, soit looks like I’m really headed
to the field. I’m volunteering to go and weed until the sunset.
Nzalo is onhis way, I need to get out.
“And then?” aunt says, turning her eyes to me.I
don’t look too gorgeous, do I?
“I’m going to weed your carrots,” I say.
She frowns, “What’s the catch?”
I laugh, “Can’t I be helpful? I know you work hard everyday
and the field is close to your heart, especiallythe carrot bed.”
“Oh, MaThabethe!” she smiles. “Let me get you the righthoe,
others are heavy. But are you sure with those jeans? You
know how your uncle feels about pants.”
“But we can wear pants to protect our legs when doing
outdoor activities and they cover up.” There’s no way I’m
changing, I look snatched in these jeans.
She takes the hoe and comes back. “Go around the bedand
between the rows, don’t cut my carrots,” she says.
“I know how to do it,” I say.
“Okay…should I give you some calamine to protect your
skin?”
“No, the sun is about to set anyway.” Eyy, this woman. I just
spent hours trying to contour my nose and highlight my
cheekbones. I’m not usually pressured by the beauty
standards but I no longer stay close to him, I need to make a
statement everytime he sees me. So yeah, I’m amake-up
artist now.
I take my phone and hoe, then make my way out.
.
.
.

I get excited more than I should, we’ve been together forhalf

a year. I’m in the field, instead of starting the work
I’m staring at my phone, impatiently waiting for his call. His
name flashes on my screen as the phone vibrates, I
almost scream. As usual, he’s parking in a distance andcoming
by foot.

All white, really this guy? You don’t wear white if you’re in
the sneaking around period. Things are different now,we
should be careful, my uncle is moody these days.
He smiles, “Sweety- lovey.”
I jump on him, he wraps his arms around me and swingsme
around. Gosh, I missed him so much. He puts me down and
kisses my forehead and lips.
“You missed this hunk, huh?” he asks.
“Hunk? Do you know the meaning?” I wrap my arms
around him, just in case he wants to run away. “The
coast is not clear, we’ll have to go inside the field.”
“I hope there are no snakes,” he says.
“Why? You’re a man, you shouldn’t be scared of snakes.”
I’m disappointed, my first boyfriend was from aneighboring
village and he’d cross a crocodile river
without complaining.
“Snakes are not pets. Or you want me to die?”I
roll my eyes, “You’re dramatic.”
There are no snakes here, Khanyisa’s mom has her ownfield
by her house.
I should’ve brought something we can sit on, we can’t
stand the whole time. But important things first, I kiss
him. A real, breath taking, affectionate kiss.
“I miss you,” he says, caressing the side of my face.
“I miss you too. Why don’t you come and see me
everyday?”
“Because I have to work, baby. You know what can make our
lives easier but you don’t have to rush it. You’re a lot happier
everytime I see you, I want that foryou.”
“What about you? Are you happy?”“I’m
too busy to be sad,” he says. “Not busy
with Tinder, right?”
He laughs, “No Tinder.”
He pulls me closer, we kiss again.
“So when do you think you will spend quality time with
me?”
“Aren’t we spending it right now?” I ask.
“Like this?” he shakes his head. “I’m a man, you knowthat,
right?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“Do you really want me to be a second hand virgin? Imiss
having you in bed, even if it’s just two rounds I would be
fine,” he says.
“Okay, we will make arrangements.” It feels weird sayingthis,
not so long ago all it took was him driving to my place and
taking me to his or mother’s house.
“I’d be happy. Maybe we can book in town for a coupleof
hours, say you’re going to the clinic or something.” Now he’s
teaching me how to lie.
“I’d rather say I’m going to post something at the post office
because someone close to my uncle works at theclinic,” I say.
“That’s fine, as long as we spend time together.” Helooks
around and sees the hoe lying down.
“You’re here to work?”
“Supposedly,” I say.
“Do you even know how to do it?”
“I grew up here, I know how to do everything.” I look at
him and he doesn’t believe me, it’s time for evidence. I pick
up the hoe.
“I grew up here, I know how to do everything.” I look at him
and he doesn’t believe me, it’s time for evidence. I pick up
the hoe, something moves from the tuft below us. I see a
green slithering snake and jump, screaming.He swiftly
shoves me away, picking the hoe from the ground and
pinning it where the snake is.
Jesus Christ! I have been here before and no snake hasever
come out. Is this snake trying to embarrass me? I assured
him that this was a snake-free field.
“Motherfucker!” he’s still hitting with a hoe.
I think it’s dead now, it didn’t even put up a fight to start with.
He’s taking out his sexual frustrations on the poor snake. But
I’m not going to lie, I feel super proud of him.This is exactly
what he will do to my enemies in future. Aman must be able
to kill a snake.
I step closer and take a look. It’s the size of a lizard, but
victory is victory. My man is brave, that’s it.
.
.
.
SKHUNDLA THABETHE

He walks in to his wife singing happily in the kitchen.

“Mmmm, someone is in a good mood,” he says, eyeingher
suspiciously.
She smiles, “Didn’t your niece offer to weed my carrot?Ayy,
I’m surprised Thabethe.”
“Maybe she wants something,” he says.
“Like what? I think she’s just being helpful, unlike somepeople
I know who only contribute by eating my vegetables but never
offer to help.” That’s his sub.
He catches with grace. “I do keep the goats away and give
you special massage when you come back home.”
She blushes like a little girl.
“We deserve some free time, away from the kids. Even ifit’s
just three hours, we’ll book a lodge in town and spend some
secret time together.”
“Thabethe what are you up to?” She knows how crazyhe
can be these days. She loves his crazy though, it makes her
feel young.
“I just want my wife all to myself for a little while,” he
says.
“Okay, I will hear from you,” she’s smiling.
His happiness is short-lived when he thinks about thecall
he’s about to make.
“I was thinking of calling Nokuzola before we meet on
Saturday,” he says.
Khululiwe sighs heavily, “Are you sure Thabethe?Everytime
you two talk it doesn’t end well.”
“I won’t say anything, I will just ask how she’s doing. Youknow
how that man can be, not so long ago she was crying because
of him.”
“Okay, go ahead,” she says.

Thabethe makes his way out, scrolling down to Zola’snumber.

He never thought he’d once be angst about calling his own
daughter.
“Hello,” she answers.
“Nokuzola, how are you?”
“I’m fine,” she says.
“And work?”
“It’s all good.”
He inhales sharply, “Your brother received theexcellency
certificate for Accounting.”
“So how many does he have in total now?” she asks.
“He hasn’t surpassed you yet. Yours adorned the wall all
around the room.” He’s slightly exaggerating but she was
good in Accounting.
“And you’d slaughter a chicken everytime I pass. Whydid
you stop doing that?”
“Because you finished school, Nokuzola Thabethe,” hesays.
“I should’ve upgraded to a sheep. When are we eating
Zuzu?”
Zuzu is his oldest sheep, she knows that if he had to choose
between his family and Zuzu, he’d choose Zuzu.
“I have to end this call,” he says.
She laughs, he drops the call shaking his head and
talking to himself. Nokuzola can buy herself lamb
instead of wanting to harm the innocent Zuzu.
As he goes back inside the house he hears Nale’s high-pitched
scream. Something must be scaring her. He grabs his stick and
rushes to the field.

He’s expecting to find her fighting a giant wild animal, not

standing against a boy’s chest with his lips entwined
with hers and hands all over her buttocks. Is this the same
Nalenhle who made his wife happy by offering toweed the
carrot bed?
They don’t even see him, they are busy exchanging
saliva.
He clears his throat, their eyes turn to him. Nale quickly
removes her arms from him.
“Is the weed you came here to remove in Nzalo’smouth?”
Thabethe asks.
She wipes her lips and keeps quiet. If this boy had any sense
he would’ve disappeared by now and not challenged him
with a stare, with his arm still around herwaist.
“What is going on here?” Thabethe asks, his eyes
running around the carrot bed that still has a lot of
untouched crab grass.
“I saw a snake, Nzalo helped me and killed it,” she says.“He
must’ve used an aeroplane,” he says, moving
towards a dead snake. This is a green family snake.
Possibly one of his ancestors who came to visit his
wife’s garden.
“He killed my family snake?” he asks. “He came all theway
here to kill inyoka yedlozi lakwaThanethe.”
“But it wasn’t home and it was coming for me,” Nale
says.
“This is our land, it’s home if it’s here.” He looks atNzalo,
displeased to the core.
This boy has tested him many times.
“Leave!” he says.
Nzalo looks at Nale, as if it’s her opinion that matters.
“Now! You too, Nalenhle, go home because you’re not doing
anything other than swallowing this boy.” He goes forward
and picks the dead snake. The great Thabethes!

Nzalo leaves, Nale is also heading home.

“Pssst!” he hisses as Nale joins the footpath home.
She looks back; he beckons her to come over with hishand.
She quickly looks back at the field, Thabethe is not outyet, she
rushes to him.
A kiss? Definitely.
“How are you going to get your things from the car
now?” he asks.
“Don’t leave, park somewhere else, I will make a planand
come out again.”
“That’s my girl,” he smiles.
They attempt to have another kiss. “Yeeeeeyi!”
Thabethe yells from afar.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

I understand that they are mad at me, my uncle more than

his wife whom I made an offer to. I’m used to him
being mad at me about boys. But the only difference isthat
now I’m old, I don’t deserve to be scolded about boys
anymore.
“First, you brought him in my house, now to your aunt’scarrot
garden and telling him to kill our snake. Are you well
upstairs?” He points to his head.
“But malume, you keep making it sound like we practice
witchcraft by this “our snake” thing,” I say. If he
continues like this Nzalo will be scared.
“Is it?” He raises his eyebrow. “Now you’ve pissed meoff, tell
him that I want my snake back.”
Gosh, he’s so childish!
His wife intervenes; “Thabethe calm down.”
“I am calm, I just want my snake back. I have nevergone
to the Hadebes to kill their ancestors.”
Aren’t ancestors dead people already? God why didn’t you
make me white? I wouldn’t be going through all this.
“Yazi I think I lost my earphones on my way here,” I say,
searching my pockets.
My earphones are safe in my drawer.
“Oh, really?” aunt asks.
“Yes, I’m going to look for them quickly.”
They just look at me and don’t say anything. I think they
believe me. High five to myself, I’m smart.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 88
NOKUZOLA

The meeting is tomorrow and the fear has kicked in. He

blames me and thinks I set him up, which I can’t confirmor
deny, but they would’ve wanted to meet him sooner orlater
anyway. At least they know that I’m dating and they have
made peace with the decisions I take in my relationship. Nale
went back to square one; sneaking around and lying to see
Nzalo. I wouldn’t have had strength for all of that, I don’t
think Xolani would’ve had iteither.

He's home early today, for the first time Onathi is leavingthe
house alone and it’s freaking him out. She’s meetingwith two
friends, going out to a dinner party and coming back
tomorrow morning. It’s one of her friends birthday and she
insisted on going. She hasn’t been in public or any social
gathering since the news that involved Winnieand Musa hit
surface. Xolani is worried but I think she can handle it just
fine.
“What do you think?” She comes out in the skimpiest
outfit I’ve ever seen.
My mouth drops open. If this is my reaction imagine her
dad’s.
“Too tight and too short,” I say.
“Okay, but does it look on me?”
“Obviously, you have a great body.”
“Bravo!” She goes to the mirror and adds something on her
cheekbones.
Her make-up is perfect, you’d swear she had a
professional MUA doing it. Hair on point, I don’t knowhow
many inches those are but I know they cost a
fortune.

Xolani walks in, his look disapproves as soon as he sees her.

He’s a hypocritical man, because how Onathidresses is
exactly how he wanted me to dress, but nowbecause it’s his
daughter it’s inappropriate.
“Are you dressed?” he asks.
“Yes,” she looks at him, ready to defend herself.“It
doesn’t look appropriate,” he says.
“I’m trying to look good, not appropriate, please don’t start.
You said you want me to be happy and enjoy myself, how is
that going to happen with all these termsand conditions?”
He sighs, “Okay, I’m now quiet.”
“Thank you,” she leaves.
I look at him and laugh. Onathi can really put him in atight
corner. I love the dad that he is though.
“I hope this one won’t be like the big sister,” he says,brushing
my tummy.
“With a sister like her and gogo like Nale, I doubt therewill
be any difference.”
“Gogo?” He frowns, then laughs.
“Yeah, if Nale calls me her niece then my child will call her
gogo.” I don’t think she’s aware of this and I will make it my
mission to teach my baby from a young agethat Nale is
gogo.
“I like this,” he laughs.I
doubt Nale will like it.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” I ask.He
heaves a long sigh. “No, I’m not.”
“I have a feeling they will give you a hard time,
especially about the age gap, but moving forward
everything will be great,” I say.
“Do you really think so?” he asks.
“All my mom ever wanted was for me to find a good manwho
can take care of me and love me genuinely. You are that man,
right?”
He smiles, “Yeah, I think so. But what about your dad?”
“I don’t think he trusts anyone with me, I have been a
good girl my whole life,” I say.
“But you had boyfriends he didn’t have a problem with,”he
says.
“That only Nale knew about and I didn’t sleep with a boyuntil
I was 20.” I wasn’t a headache at home, I barely gotout of
line. They already had their hands full with Nale, I wasn’t
adding to that.
I’d expect them to have more understanding and acceptance
when I finally introduce someone to them.
“I’m nervous but there’s nothing I can’t handle,especially if
it’s in exchange of you,” he says.
“Don’t worry, he’s not that bad.” I’m lying, my dad can be
really bad.
Onathi comes back, she’s added fishnet stockings under the
mini-skirt. It looks worse than before, this child wants to kill
my man.
.
.
.

Onathi hasn’t come back, obviously because it’s only 7am. But
her dad is already making calls and getting worked up. I think
today’s anxiety is getting the better ofhim and he’s taking it
out on Onathi. He’s walking in andout, looking very restless.
My phone rings, it’s Onathi.
“Can you tell Xolani that I’m coming back in the
afternoon? I’m going to Gateway with my friends,” she
says.
“Don’t worry, go and enjoy yourself,” I say.
There’s no need for her to rush home anyway, him and Iare
attending the family meeting and also coming back later.
He walks in, “If this child is not here before 12…”
“She’s coming back later, in the afternoon, they are going
to Gateway. What you should be doing right nowis sending
her some moolas,” I say.
He glares at me, “Are you joking?”
“No. I just got a call from her and I told her that it’s okay.”“And
what made you say that without talking to me
first?”
“Am I not an elder in this house? Or I don’t have a rightover
your child?” I don’t understand.
“That’s not what I mean,” he says, his voice a bit soft.
It’s exactly what he meant- I can’t tell his child anything
without consulting him.
“I’m just worried, what if she does something wrong?” hesays.
“Like what? You’ve been with her for months, you can just
trust her.” I have seen the growth in Onathi, she’s going to
look after herself very well.
He takes out his phone, I bet he’s doing the transaction.
Then he sighs heavily, “I’m sorry.”
“About?” I raise my eyebrow.
“You’re the woman of this house, I’m just anxious about
everything today,” he says.
“I understand. Come here,” I open my arms.
He takes off his shoes and comes to me in bed. I kisshim
then give him a tight hug.
“It’s going to be okay, I’m here with you every step of the
way.”
.
.
.

I wanted Nale to give me heads-up, we’ve been on good

terms after we had a conversation, our fights never last more
than three weeks anyway. But Nale being Nale, she’d rather
update me about her and Nzalo.
“I didn’t think he’d kill it,” she says.
Sigh. It’s still the small snake story that I’ve heard thewhole
week. Nzalo is a giant, he has a gun and kidnapping history.
How is it a big deal that he killed atiny, probably very sick
snake?
“Did dad say anything?” I ask.
“About Nzalo?” Oh, God. “About
today, Nale!”
“Ummm, not really. Why are you nervous? It’s not like hewill
beat Mr X.” Nale has been through everything with my dad
regarding boyfriend stuff, that’s why she thinks
this is no big deal.
I get the juice I came here to fetch and take it to him in the
rondavel. I wanted to give him a chair but mom saidno, so
he’s sitting on the grass-mat.
“Are you still comfortable?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says.
I pour him some juice, he seems very nervous.
I wasn’t aware that my mom was following me, I turn my
eyes and she looks gobsmacked at the door. She asks me to
step out for a minute.
“You serve him on your feet?”
Oh, she’s shocked by that. “He
doesn’t mind,” I say.
“In his personal space, not with other people watching.
How do you think people are going to respect him? Or you
want isiyoyoyo sendoda?”
My mom can be dramatic, Xolani doesn’t care about anyof
that.
"Never do that again, especially ekuhambeni, give him some
respect. A man can allow you to hit his head in hishouse, but
it doesn’t mean you have to do it in public aswell."
"Okay Ma." I know arguing with her is useless.
We get back inside, she greets Xolani warmly, even asking
how difficult it is to drive on our old, gravel road.

Dad comes in, the atmosphere changes immediately. Hesits

comfortably before greeting Xolani. My dad looks older than
Xolani, I don’t think he expected Xolani to look like this. He
probably expected a man with a big belly and receding
hairline, like himself.
“I’m Nokuzola’s dad and this is her mother,” he says.“I’m
happy to finally meet you,” -Xolani.
“Likewise,” dad says and then stares at him for a solid
minute.
Xolani keeps his head down. I know by that tapping finger,
he’s nervous. Only my dad can reduce a well-respected
businessman into a trembling boy.
“My daughter lives with you and we don’t even know where
you live. I’d expect someone of your age to knowthe right
channels to follow before that step is taken. If something
happens to her while she’s under your roof, who must we
hold accountable?”
Honestly, he had nothing to do with that decision, hewas in
the hospital when I moved in.
“Dad, I’m the one who….”
“Keep quiet, Nokuzola,” he says.
I look at my mom, I know she approves of my relationship
and I have communicated with her about why I moved in,
she understood. But today she’s folding
her arms and watching her husband go off. Trust anyonebut
my mom, hallelujah.
“I’m trying to speed up everything Thabethe. I’m not
disrespecting you, I know what’s due to you, I was a bit
distracted by personal issues but we are working on it now.
There’s someone on the way and moving in with me
seemed more reasonable because she needs support.”
He looks at me, “Why didn’t you tell your mom and I thatyou
were planning on having a baby?”
I know the turn he wants to take with this question.“It
wasn’t planned,” I say.
“Ok, but you told him that you want to be a mother andput
on hold all your dreams to raise a baby?” he asks.
Deep sigh.
“No, I didn’t,” I say.
He looks at Xolani, “How did that happen?”
Xolani can’t answer.
“Do you know what’s funny? You’re doing exactly what I
thought you’d do. What is your reason for choosing my
daughter, someone who’s over a decade younger than you?”
“I love her,” he says.
“So you couldn’t find anyone born five years after you were
born or three years older than you, who you could love and
lend your cars to, while making them pregnant?Nobody was
worth your love within your age bracket?”
“No,” he says.
“I find that strange, Hadebe. Nokuzola doesn’t even come
across as a girl old-looking than her actual age, I fail to
understand how you went for her in the first place.If not to
prey on her naivety, I don’t know what else could’ve been
your motive. It can’t be that all women in
their 40s and mid- 30s were out of reach, you look like aman
who can date any woman that he wants. I’m not going to lie
and say I’m happy.”
There’s a long moment of silence.
I don’t know why my dad thinks I come across as naive and
that’s why Xolani wants to be with me. Yes, he’s notperfect,
but which man is?
“You sent your people here, they said they want a
relationship between these two families- bacela ubuhlobo
obuhle. Right?”
“Yebo, Thabethe, I did,” Xolani says.
“According to what I know and expect is that both
families would form unity because of you and Nokuzola,to
become one family. But I’m shocked to see your son dating
my niece. Ubuhlobo obunjani ofuna ukubakha?
Your son clearly doesn’t see us as a family, because ifyou had
trained him well he’d see Nalenhle as his cousin as well.”
I didn’t expect this sharp curve; he’s talking about Nzalo’s
relationship with Nalenhle. Honestly, we have never
frowned upon it because their relationship started
natural and around the same time that Xolani and I got
together.
“I cannot control what the children do, Thabethe,” hesays.
“But you can control my daughter, right? It’s your
responsibility to respect the relationship you want to have
with this family. You cannot apply to be our son-in-law and
then have your son searching for a wife in the same family.
What will happen? You will be the son-in- law and he will be
a grandson-in-law? When will it end?Every male in your
family will look at our family as a ladies market.”
I bet he haven’t had this conversation with Nale. Now it’s
Xolani who will be responsible for Nalenhle and Nzalo’s
mistakes, wow.
“I will talk to my son,” he says.
That will be fruitless. He didn’t have a good relationshipwith
Nzalo for years, now he’s going to tell him who to date and
not date? Nope.
“Nokuzola, get him something to eat instead of sitting
there frowning your face.”
I don’t want to leave my man alone with him.“Now,
Nokuzola,” adds his wife.
Mom’s loyalty only lies with the man she sleeps with. Iwash
my hands with Jik when it comes to her!

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 89

Khululiwe walks in with a basin of warm water for her

husband to wash his feet then takes a seat. Nokuzolatakes
things to the heart, today’s meeting left her worried
about the impossible task Thabethe gave
Xolani.
“Thabethe, do you really think this can be solved? Nalenhle
has been with that boy for a very long time, infact he’s the
longest boyfriend I know,” she asks.
“I’m sure Hadebe can handle his son, don’t you think?
How is he going to handle a family if he can’t get one
thing done?” Thabethe says, leaning down to wash hisfeet.
“What if he fails? You know how young people are whenthey
are in love,” Khululiwe asks.
Thabethe shrugs, “Then he will come and tell me thathe’s
failed to handle his son.”
“You can be difficult, Thabethe, ayy!” She’s putting her
emotions into this, obviously because it affected her
daughter’s mood.
“I’m not going to be fooled by the things he gives my
daughter. I lose respect for any old man that chooses tosleep
with someone younger than them. I need to see my
daughter genuinely happy, not driving a fancy car and crying
because of his infidelity.”
Khululiwe sighs, “I hear you but he did not force Nokuzola
into anything. She loves him, she’s said it
many times. Yes, he’s had his mistakes but that doesn’t
characterize him as your father, or anything close to him.He’s
not taking advantage of Nokuzola, they agreed to be in a
relationship.”
“I didn’t characterize him as my father. I just think he’sold
and he could’ve looked at her more like a parent
than someone he can share a bed with,” he says.
“But it has happened, now there’s nothing we can do
about it other than just supporting them. Nokuzola is
pregnant, we want to be in the baby’s life without any
animosity.”
“I don’t hate him, I’m just not impressed,” he says. “What
about Nale and her boyfriend?” Khululiwe asks.
He heaves a deep sigh, drying his feet with a towel. “I
really don’t know about those two. That boy killed my
snake, who should I call to report his behavior?”
“It’s unfortunate that both his parents are late, if theywere
still alive they would’ve been the ones we call about Nale’s
boyfriend,” Khululiwe says.
“Ngiyakuzwa mama but I’m not going to change from
what I said, at least for now,” he says.
Khululiwe sighs, shaking her head. Yep, she married a
stubborn man. Nokuzola is still going to stress because
Xolani has to prove himself beyond financial efforts.

She takes out the water her husband used and says
goodbye to Nale who’s still watching TV, then comes
back to the bedroom. Thabethe has undressed and leftonly his
boxers.
He smiles as she closes the door, turning and walkingtowards
the bed.
“I have booked for us to be alone, away from the kids on
Saturday,” he says.
“I hope it didn’t cost a fortune. Which money did you use?”
She’s the biggest spender in the family, yet shecomplains
when someone else spends money.
“The money I got from fixing Nxamalala’s roof, you don’thave
to worry about it. I’m sorted, we will have a good
time. Woza ngikusize,” he says.
Khululiwe turns, she unhooks her dress and helps her take
it off. He’s in love with his wife, these days it feels like new
love. He pecks her lips as she gets in bed.
“Enough about kids’ boyfriends. How is my wife?” hesays.
Khululiwe smiles, “I’m okay.”
“Okay everywhere?” His hands run over her breasts.
She blushes, Thabethe likes making her feel like a child.
“Malume!” Nale bangs the door.
They ignore; it’s late, she should be going to her room.
“Malumekazi,” she calls again.
Khululiwe exhales heavily, “Let me see what she wants.”She
puts her dress back on and opens the door.
She’s holding her phone, “Where is malume? You guyswant
me to break up with Nzalo!”
Zola must’ve just called her, she’s fuelled up.
“You really want us to talk about your boyfriend at thistime of
the night?” Khululiwe asks with a heavy sigh.
“Yes, he’s my world,” she says.
Thabethe yells, “Not in my yard, he’s not the world here.Go to
bed!”
“No malume, what does my relationship have to do with Mr
X? I met Nzalo first, before Mr X even knew that Zolaexisted,
I was crying at his father’s funeral and…” Oops!
“Whose funeral? You attended a boy’s father’s funeral?”
Khululiwe is in shock.
“No…I mean yes, but he wasn’t my boyfriend at the
time, I was crying because I was asked to,” she says.
“Asked to cry? By who?” Khululiwe is confused.
“Umh, you know what guys, never mind. I’m not mad,
you’re just a test to our relationship and we are going to
come out of it victorious,” she turns and walks away.
The bedroom door widely opens, Thabethe has put onhis
pants. “Come here,” he says.
He wants to know what kind of deliration went down.
Who asked his niece to cry at the Hadebe funeral? No wonder
she’s been emotionally overburdened, she goesaround
collecting bad spirits.
Nale stands with her arms hugging her slim body. If she could,
she’d take it back and not say anything at all. One
thing for sure, she cannot mention Mr X because he’s
already hanging on a thin thread when it comes to his
reputation in this family. And Zola would hate her for
sure.
“Why were you at the Hadebe funeral and whathappened?”
Thabethe asks.
“A colleague of mine was very close to him and she asked me
to go with her. I felt sorry for the family, so sheasked me to
cry.” This makes no sense, even if she waslistening to herself.
“You are lying. Give me Nzalo’s number,” Thabethedemands.
“Hhayi malume! His father’s death still traumatizes him. If
you bring it up he might commit suicide, I don’t want tobe
widow,” she says.
Thabethe clicks his tongue, “A widow? What did he payfor
you?”
“Maybe the pizza and boxes of biscuits we always see inthe
dumping hole outside,” says Khululiwe.
She’s shocked.
They know???
Khululiwe laughs, “Let’s go back to bed Thabethe.”
.
.
.
NOKUZOLA

He walks in looking hopeless, I can already tell how it went

with Nzalo. I told Nale and she went crazy, I’m sureNzalo was
already informed.
“Hey,” I get up and help him take off his jacket.
“Makoti,” he kisses my cheek and sinks down with a
heavy sigh.
I put his jacket over the chair and sit down too.
“Did you talk to Nzalo?” I ask.
“No, he wasn’t even interested, Nale talked to him first,"he
says.
“Then it is what it is,” I say.
He looks at me, “What do you mean?”
“He’s an adult, who are you to tell him what to do? Our
relationship has nothing to do with his,” I say.
“So I must say that to your father?” he asks.
“Tell him you tried and Nzalo refused. He’s also an elder, if it’s
that wrong, let him talk to Nale about it, let’s see his power
too,” I say.
“Your father has nothing to prove to me, he gave me this
responsibility on purpose. This is what he wanted; he wanted
me to fail at something and look like I’m less of aman.” This
evidently puts him under a lot of pressure and stress.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” I ask.
He shuts his eyes, his jaw twitches.
Why is he getting angry?
“Are you serious?” he asks.
“Yeah, I can even talk to my mom and ask her to…”
“Don’t you want to go out and get some ice-cream? I
need to think and you’re not helping.” He throws his
wallet to me, gets up and goes away.
How am I annoying him by trying to help?
I’m going to go out for ice-cream and call my mom.
.
.
.
I only went out for ice-cream but ended up getting burger
and chips too. There are some wrist beads I bought, for no
reason at all, I just liked them on the display glass. I don’t
like anything on my wrist, I will keep them for my baby. I
called my mom and told her what happened, hoping she will
talk to her husband, butshe’s standing with him. She said
Xolani must come back to them with feedback and not send
me.
Onathi is alone in the kitchen, making a salad.
“Where is your dad?” I ask.
“Upstairs, he’s been in his study ever since. Are youguys
fighting again?”
“No, he’s just stressed by work,” I say and leave in ahurry,
before she asks more questions.
I’m gaining weight, taking the stairs always leave me
breathless. I head to the study, the door is slightly open,I
push it and let myself in.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask.
“I’m okay,” he moves off the chair for me to sit. “I will goand
see your father again,” he says.
“Must I come with you?” I know how that man can be.
“No,” he says.
I’m confused, he looks annoyed by everything I say to
support him. I’m only trying to help and I’m not going to
stand his attitude towards me.
“Tell me when it’s time for dinner, I’m going to take anap,” I
say.
“Okay,” he says. Yep,
just like that.
.
. NALENHLE

I came back home for peace and so far I thought I foundit.

Only to find out that I’ve been living with snakes.
They’ve been smiling to my face while plotting my downfall.
Yep, my relationship ending is a downfall for me. Nzalo is the
only good thing I have going on. So thesong that’s been
ringing in my ears since I woke up is:
Ngihleka Nawe Kanti Uyisitha Kimi. Anyone who’s ever
betrayed by someone close to them knows the song.
“Are you singing that to me?”
I didn’t even see him walking in.
“No,” I say.
“Okay,” he takes the remote and sits down.I
carry on singing.
“I want to watch TV and hear it,” he wants me to stop singing.
Slowly, home feels like prison. Now I can’t evensing my song in
peace?
“Do you really want us to break up?” I still can’t believethis.
“Yes,” he says with a straight face.
“Why?” I’m confused.
He sighs, like I’m a bore, and shifts his eyes to the TV.
“If I say break up with malumekazi, would you do it?” Iask.
“We are already married,” he says.
“You’re not answering the question. Sometimes youforget
that I’m your sister.” Sometimes Skhundla overestimates his
importance.
“You will never play that card with me, I raised you. I was
sleeping on the floor, helping your aunt change yournappy at
night and feeding you porridge. Stay out of
this, it has nothing to do with you. If that boy loves you,he
will fight to have you.”
“You want him to fight?” I ask.
“Nalenhle, I don’t want that boy in my house. I don’tmean it
literally.” He knows Nzalo too well. If I had relayed the
message to him, he would’ve been physically here in three
hours.
“All I’m saying is, let the Hadebes handle this,” he says.
I feel like he wants to play with their emotions. I understand
on Mr X’s side, he needs to sweat a bit andpay for his sins. But
what did my innocent Nzalo do?
The snake he killed could have been already sick.
“On Saturday your aunt and I are going to visit the
Magubanes,” he changes the topic.
“Who are those?” I have never heard of them.
“Our old friends, we are not sleeping over though. Wewill
leave in the morning and come back in the afternoon,” he
says.
“Can we also come? I want to meet the Magubanes,” Iask.
“No, you can’t,” he refuses.
“Why? They hate me?”
He laughs, “You’re crazy. Why would they hate you? It’sjust an
invite for me and your aunt.”
Well, if I’m not going then I need to call Nzalo, this is our
chance to go and spend time together as well. At least I
won’t have to worry about them calling and asking where I
am, the Magubanes will keep them busy.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 90

He met Khululiwe when he was 17 and it was love atfirst

sight. Now he’s three years away from 50 and nothing
has ever changed. They have been through
everything together, she’s never left his side. Well, she’s
threatened to, but Skhundla is all she’s ever known.
She’s wearing a dress that she’s been saving for a wedding
invitation, looking beautiful for her husband.He’s put a lot of
efforts into this day.
He bought 2l of Coke and KFC on the way, then added some
sweets for his hard-working wife. This is the day for her to
relax and enjoy soft life. Not many people are here, even
those who are here are not from the village, it’s guests from
remote areas, they are free to do
whatever they want without worrying about their privacy.
There’s something that Khululiwe bought two days ago when
she was preparing for this day, it’s in her bag. Shetakes it and
heads to the bathroom while her husband prepares for their
lunch.

She takes off her clothes and tries it on. It’s very short and
silky, she can only wear something like this for her husband’s
eyes. She’s almost 46, she’s carried two kidsand gained
weight as she matured in her womanhood, of course her
body looks different from what it used to be. But her
husband loves her with all her stripes and loose handles.
She’s confident walking back to him, and as she wanted,his
jaws drop.
“You have secrets, Khululiwe,” he says, opening hisarms,
looking stunned.
He hugs her and kisses her cheek, then admires herthick,
exposed thighs.
“I thought we’d eat first but Thabethe has woken upnow,”
he says.
Khululiwe smiles, “You better calm him down because Iwant
to eat first.”
She only had six slices of bread and two chicken thighsfor
breakfast. Thabethe ignores his throbbing shaft andpours
Coke for her. They are having KFC and chips, with some
bread rolls.
“I hope Nalenhle will cook early,” she says.
“It’s none of our business what they choose to do for
their stomachs.” Thabethe cannot care less, this is theirtime
and they shouldn’t worry about what children are doing back
home.
“I spoke to Nokuzola, she was feeling a bit sick,”
Khululiwe says. It’s in her as a mother to worry abouther
children, no matter where she is.
“Where was Hadebe?” Thabethe asks.
“She said he went to work. I don’t think it’s anythingserious,
just pregnancy. I was like that too with
Thamsanqa, I was always feeling sick,” she says.
"I will call her later and find out how she's doing," he says
with a low sigh. “I can’t believe she’s pregnant andnone of us
are even with her.”
It’s still going to take him time to embrace this new stage
Nokuzola has embarked on.
“Well, she’s almost 30 and she's not alone there,Hadebe is
with her,” Khululiwe says.
"Didn’t you just tell me that he went to work and left her
sick? That man is going to take my child, make her a mother
and change her surname. It would’ve been
better if it was someone from around, where we could see
our daughter anytime we want and see when she’snot
happy. But it’s someone from a different place.”
“You did that to me and here we are today, happy,”Khululiwe
says.
“I had a mother, you were coming to a family with direction
and you had someone who guided you and protected you. It’s
different with Nokuzola, she’s going toan empty family,
there’s no mother figure or any woman before her. One wife
is in jail, the other one was murdered, I’m sure even those
who came before them had horrible fates. Kunomkhokha nje
ongemuhle.”
“But those weren’t his wives, he’s never had a wife,”Khululiwe
says, still defending her son-in-law.
“At his age, only God knows why! I have to strengthen my
daughter before she fully goes into that family, I don’ttrust
anything,” Thabethe says.
Nokuzola might not agree with that but knowing her husband,
he will do it. They enjoy their KFC, for the firsttime without the
kids asking for their own pieces.
Thabethe takes out a slab of milk chocolate and
unwraps it for her.
“Inyongo ke!” Khululiwe says, breaking two bars and
giving it back to him.
He breaks his own and puts it away. The day is still young,
they pack up the food and move it out of the way.
“You didn’t buy any water?” she asks. They can’t drinkCoke all
day.
“I totally forgot. Let me see if they don’t sell it in that little
store.” He gets up and fixes his clothes.
They share a quick kiss before he heads to the door.
“Stay ready for me,” he says, smiling back at her, thenwalks
out.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

We had lunch first, I don’t know when was the last time Iate
out. It’s a pity there’s no good restaurant in my town,I had to
settle for pizza and some dunked wings. Now we are arriving
at the lodge with our drinks. He bought
me red wine, chocolates and some snacks. It has beena dry
season, I need quality time with my boyfriend andmultiple
orgasms. We bought a packet of condoms, so we don’t run
out. We only have a couple of hours
together, I want to be home before the elders to avoid
questions. According to them, I’m home and doing house
chores. I left half of them done, I will only wrap upa few
things and cook later.
He gets the key and we make our way to our room. It’s
room-3, I hope nobody booked next door to us becauseI
don’t want them to get one star rating because of me. Iknow
myself, sometimes I act like a virgin.
Oh no, wait!
I pull Nzalo, he stops and looks at me confused.
I have never needed glasses in my life, my vision has
always been perfect.
“That’s my uncle,” I step back and hide behind him.
That’s the maroon shirt my uncle left home wearing. I doubt it
still sells anywhere in the world. It’s very old buthe takes care
of it too well, it still looks new. He only wears it on special
occasions, and I thought it was for
the Magubanes today. What is he doing here? I’mconfused.
“Are you sure baby?” Nzalo thinks I’m playing.
“It’s him. Oh, my goodness!” He just entered the room next
to ours. Luckily he didn’t look back, but I’m not surewhat our
next step should be.
“Let’s go quickly, maybe he’s seeing a guest inside thatroom
and leaving,” Nzalo says.
I follow him and we quickly get in our room. But now all the
excitement is gone, I’m scared and asking myself a lot of
questions.

He can see that I’m tense, his hug relaxes me a bit. “Thedoor
is locked, he won’t know that you are here,” he says.
We have both looked forward to this day and made plans for
it. I haven’t spent any quality, private time withhim, now is
the time to make up for it. We kiss, he’s already in a rush to
feel my body, his hands are all overme.
“I miss you everyday,” he whispers, unbuttoning my shirt. He
grabs my boobs and kisses me again. Then wehear a bang
from the next room and stop. Someone is having sex and I
can hear the male giving instructions tothe woman. The male
is my uncle, I’d know my uncle’s voice even in my deep sleep.
“Babe concentrate on me, please,” Nzalo captures
another kiss.
But they just got started, now the male is groaning and
talking dirty to his sex partner. All the excitement I had for
Nzalo’s dick subsides, I want to leave.
“Maybe we can get another room,” he says.
“That’s my uncle, Nzalo.” I don’t know what difference he
thinks another room will make.
I have heard my uncle saying unimaginable things: “open
wide…let me eat my cake.” I cannot recover fromthis.
They are getting loud with each second, Nzalo is still
touching me and I have gotten so dry that even his hands
feel rough like they have razors.
“Nalenhle look at me,” he says.I
look at him, he pecks my lips.
“I will ask them for a different room,” he says.
I shrug, he grabs his jacket and ties it around his waist and
leaves.
I’m not in the mood anymore, my uncle is still going on in
the next room. I only hear the woman squealing and her
ass being slapped.
“Hold him, play with Thabethe, my love,” he says.I
knew it was him, I didn’t need any confirmation,
nevertheless he’s just given me one. His groans disgustme, I
left my earphones at home, playing music off my phone isn’t
blocking anything.

Nzalo comes back, from the look on his face it wasn’t

fruitful.
“All other rooms are full,” he says.
“Let’s just leave, I can’t stand this.”
He sits with a heavy sigh, “Do you see how I am?”
He removes the jacket to show me his erection. I don’t
understand how hearing my uncle having sex, possibly
cheating on my aunt, can turn him on. It’s not just random
people having sex, my uncle is there. Where isthe shame?
“We can leave but at least give me a blowjob and oneround,”
he says.
“I cannot perform any sexual activity right now,” I say.
“That’s not fair, we had an agreement coming here.” He
doesn’t get it.
I don’t know how he’s not disgusted and turned off,hearing
what we are hearing.
“Your uncle is an adult, if that’s really him then it’s okay,at
least he’s enjoying,” he says.
I wasn’t aware of how stupid he can be. How is my uncle
enjoying when….?
We hear him again: “Chama, baby. Chama!”
Nzalo holds me tighter, I feel like he’s turned on even more.
My uncle never calls his wife “baby”, it’s either he calls her
mama, nkosikazi or mkami. Now I’m sure that’snot her. My
aunt wouldn’t leave her house to come and have sex in a
lodge anyway.
“I want to go home,” I say.
“Come on, Nale. How am I even going to walk out? Lookhow
hard I am.”
It disgusts me that he’s hard, he lacks respect.
“Why did we come here then? To listen to other peoplehaving
sex, something I haven’t had in weeks, get
turned on and leave,” he says, as if he’s blaming me forwhat
they are doing next to us.
“No Nzalo,” I only need to say this once and hope he will
remove his hand from my thighs. No means no, right?
“I’m horny baby, even only a blowjob and then we willleave,”
he says.
“No, I want to go home,” I say, for the second time.
He inhales sharply and removes his hand. He’s hard, Ican see,
but I want to go home.
His eyes have turned red, I can see he’s boiling with anger
and sexually frustrated. I don’t know if I can calmhim down
with my hand in the car at least.

We get in the car and I notice that he’s on silent mode.“I’m

traumatized Nzalo,” I say.
“It’s always about how you feel. You made me come allthe
way here, for what? For what Nalenhle?” He’s goingoff.
After the trauma I just went through, getting into an
argument is not something I want to do. I will keep quietand
think about how I’m going to look at my uncle from now
onwards. I don’t know if I can but confronting him isalso off
the list. Because, how would I ask an elder about his sexual
affairs? And what if their marriage endsbecause of this and
I’m the reason behind it?
“I have been understanding and trying to show you how
much I love you and want this relationship to work, evenwith
a distance between us. But you’re not pulling in the same
weight. You can’t stay close to me, you want to behome
because you’re going through dark times. Fine, I understand.
Now I’m trying to spend time with you, sneaking around like
a teenager. You are 26 Nalenhle, 26! Your family knows that
you have a boyfriend, but youcan’t even visit me for two
days.”
I let him rant, I have no energy to talk back. It turns outhe’s
not fully okay with me being home. If I remember well, I
gave Nzalo an option not to be with me. So far, Ilike my life
home, I don’t miss anything about my workplace or
Tongaat.
I was going to give him a handjob but not anymore. He
drives me home, the mood is sour and he hasn’t stopped
talking about how selfish I have been.
.
.
.
I completed all my chores and went to the field, for the
first time I have been weeding. I needed to get my mindoff
what I witnessed at the lodge. It’s getting dark but I still
have a ton of energy to go on.
“Sis’ Nale,” that’s Thami.
I look up, he’s here to fetch me.
“Did you see the time? Let’s go home,” he says.
I’d spend the whole night here if I could. I take my hoe and
go back home.
I hear him talking and everything he was saying to his
sidechick comes back. I want to throw up. Such an old man
sleeping around!
I don’t look at his direction, I walk straight with my arms
folded.
“Did you want to sleep in the field?” aunty says,chuckling.
“No,” I say and walk straight to my room.
Shucks, I need to warm water for a bath. I have to be inhis
presence because they are all in the kitchen.
Just when I’m about to do so, aunty walks in with a
bucket of hot water. Such a good wife!
“I know you’re tired,” she says.
I feel guilty for hiding this from her but it’s not my place.“Are
you okay?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I nod.
“Nalenhle, talk to me. Is it Nzalo?”
That one hasn’t checked up on me, I’m sure he’s stillmad and
sexually frustrated.
“No,” I say.
“You two are okay, are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I say.
“Okay, do you want to eat with us or you want to eathere?”
“I’m not hungry, I ate earlier,” I say.
“Mmmm, okay.” She’s eyeing me suspiciously.
Unfortunately I cannot tell her what’s wrong.
“I love you,” this is all I can say.
She frowns, “Okay, I love you too, you know that.”
This woman raised me, I will never turn my back on herand I
will never accept another aunt. I will be the evil niece and
monster sister-in-law to the bitch that was moaning in the
lodge.

I’m ready for bed, I wish I can talk to Zola. I always vent to
her but this one will be a sensitive subject. I don’t know what
to do, Nzalo hasn’t reached out to me either.Maybe I should
call and apologize about today, then askmy uncle for
permission to visit him during the weekend. Not, not the
cheater, I will ask my aunt instead.
Someone knocks, I let him in thinking it’s Thami. But it’s
Skhundla, the cheater.
“Hey, I brought your food,” he says.
Didn’t I say I’m not hungry?
He walks in and puts it on my bedside cabinet.
“Your aunt says you are upset,” he says.
I don’t respond, I really don’t talk to unfaithful husbands,I
get in bed and pull the blanket over my head.
“Are you upset with me or something?”
Can’t he leave me alone? I keep quiet until he gives up.
“If you need something you know where to find me. I had
a good day and I’m not going to let your tantrumsruin it,”
he walks out.
I get up and shut the door, locking it so that no othercheater
walks in again.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 91
NALENHLE

I wait until I hear him leaving, taking out his sheep, then
come out of my room to have breakfast. I didn’t call Nzalo,
I’m hoping today I can be permitted to visit him. Ican’t stand
being in my uncle’s presence for another day.
“Finally, I was starting to think maybe you’re sick,” auntysays.
“No, I’m fine,” I say.
We are having tea and yesterday leftovers, she’swarmed it
up.
“We have been worried about you,” she says.
“I’m fine, malumekazi, really. I only want to know if it’s okay
for me to visit Nzalo this afternoon and come back
tomorrow?”
“Hhayi-bo Nalenhle, you know the rules,” she says.
This is exactly the reason why I used to sneak out
growing up.
“But I’m 26, those rules no longer apply to me,” I say.
“Waze washisa bo mdoko! You can be 30 or 40, here you
will remain a child until you go and build your ownhouse.”
She’s not having it.
“Okay then, I’m visiting Zola and Mr X,” I say.
She gives me a side-eye. What else should I say? I was
straightforward and she refused, so now I’m lying.
“If you had respected yourself and followed the right
path, he would’ve been coming here to see you, not you
going to him. It doesn’t work like that, yisoka eliza ekhweni.
You have to ask your uncle,” she says.
“Nooo!” I’d rather go missing, I’m not asking my uncle.“What?
Are you beefing with him?” she asks.
“I’m not, I just don’t want to talk to him. So can I go or
not?”
“Fine, you can go,” she finally agrees.
I’m going to surprise Nzalo while he’s mad at me. I’m going to
prove to him that I actually put people first, I justhave my
shortcomings and imperfections as a human being.
.
.
.
I’m going to leave my laundry on the drying line, then iron
when I come back. I’m busy washing behind the house
where our water drums are, then I feel someonestanding
behind me.
“Can I bring my shirt too?” he asks.
It’s the maroon shirt he went to charm his sidechick with.
“No,” I say.
“I’m still an elder to you, don’t disrespect me.” Here
comes the “elder” card, who said we can’t say no to
elders?
“What’s your problem?” he asks, for the first time he sounds
less concerned and more impatient with my sourmood.
I wasn’t going to say anything but now that he’s followedme
to ask, I will talk.
“I saw you at the lodge yesterday, kwaManzini,” I say.
He doesn’t look shaken, he just frowns. “And what wereyou
doing there?”
“That’s not important, you should be worried about whenI
will tell aunty that you went there.” I’m sure she was
with the Magubanes while he was out with another
woman.
“Tell her what?” he asks, acting confused.
“That you went to the lodge and I heard you were with a
woman,” I say.
“Oh! Is that why you’ve been upset?”
A very stupid question. Of course I have been upset
because of that. I will never be okay after hearing him
having sex in the next room.
“She’s a good woman,” I say.He
laughs, “I know.”
What’s funny?
“I’m going to bring my shirt,” he says and walks awaylaughing.
No remorse, nothing. I’m not crazy, am I? I know verywell
what I heard and I know it was him.
He brings the shirt and doesn’t address the lodge issueagain.
.
.
.
They are okay, laughing together and watching TV. I’m ready
to go, surprisingly my uncle hasn’t said anything. Ihave to get
going, I want to get there before 5pm, shortlyafter he comes
back from work. They look up, they havethis thing of staring at
people at the same time, like
there’s a crime they’re suspecting.
“I’m on my way,” I say.
“Where are you going?”
He does this everytime, I know his wife told him.“I’m
visiting Nzalo,” I say.
“Oh, that’s nice. When are you coming back? Or I shouldn’t
ask, you will come back when you come back,just like you
leave when you want?”
Sigh!
“I asked and aunty said I can go. I’m coming back
tomorrow, it’s his birthday,” I say.
“Your birthday lie is getting old,” he says and puts his arm
around his wife. “Before you go, tell your aunt whyyou
have been mad at me?”
He looks amused, now I think I got the whole situation
wrong.
I look at my aunt who looks a bit embarrassed. “Youguys
went to visit the Magubanes, right?”
“Yes,” she says.
“I saw malume at the lodge.”
“What?” She wants to sound surprised but she cannot
fool me. “Okay, what were you doing there because you
didn’t say anything about it to me?”
“It was a last minute thing,” I say.
“So what makes you mad about seeing your uncle
there?”
“Because I was in the room next to the one he entered.” I
cannot say the exact reason but this should give him a clue
about what I heard.
“I won’t apologize for that, I was with my wife and you
weren’t supposed to be there,” he says.
I’m shocked. One, they lied about going to the Magubanes;
two, he was calling her baby and saying allthose things.
I look at her, “For real?”
“I was with him,” she confirms.
This makes it even worse.
“I heard you guys,” I blurt it out.
I can see she looks a bit ashamed. But he doesn’t care, he has
a smug look on his face like I deserve the traumathey put me
through.
“I fought with Nzalo because of you,” I say.
“Unomdikheyi wena! Who is Nzalo to me?” He doesn’tlike it
when I talk to him about boyfriend stuff, he wantsto be the
traditional uncle that takes no nonsense. But he should get
used to it by now because I will never stop.
“I will give you feedback when I come back,” I say.He
frowns, “Feedback for what?”
“How we sorted things out, angithi I’m going there to fix
things.”
He clicks his tongue and holds his wife’s hand. I’m kinda
relieved that he wasn’t cheating on her, however I do wish
their sex life was different. He’s an old person, he shouldn’t
be saying dirty things and spanking his wife. I
thought old people only do missionary, without makingnoises
and only at night when everyone is asleep.
.
.
.

I didn’t expect Nzalo to be excited when I arrive but I didn’t

think he’d be cold either. I could have been moresensitive
towards his frustration and expressed myselfmore, but I’m
here now because I have realized my mistake. I travelled all
the way here, with my own money, to see him.
Nzalo laughs a lot, especially when I’m around. Him being
this quiet and not even asking how things are athome, shows
that he’s holding a sex grudge.
“Do you want coffee?” I ask.
He scoffs, “No, I don’t want coffee.”
“You’re just not excited to see me?” “I
am, I’m just sad,” he says.
“Sad or excited? It can only be one.” He
heaves a low sigh, “I’m sad.”
“Because of me?” I don’t think it should be that deep.
“Everything. I miss my old life,” he says.
Okay, I think this is about Msindisi, not me. “Have
you talked to Msindisi recently?” I ask.
“Not really, I have been busy. But I know he’s settled in and
looking for a job that side. Babomncane is helping him with
that,” he says.
I can’t believe Msindisi has decided not to come back
altogether. What happened that was so bad? His crushon me
remained between us and I know he was just confused, he
didn’t mean all that. MaMkhwanazi is waiting for her
sentence with her brother, they pleadedguilty to everything.
This is the breakthrough they all waited for.
“Maybe you should go and visit him,” I say. I can seethat he
misses Msindisi.
“No, we will go and visit Lwethu in Mpumalanga,” he
says.
“We?” Did I hear that correctly?
“Yeah, I promised to always go with you whenever I’m
leaving the province or country. Unless if you prefer notto
go,” he says.
“Nooo! I have never left KZN before.” I’m not going to
miss it for the world.
“Then we’ll make it a vacation, Mpumalanga has
amazing places,” he says.
Just like that, I’m traveling the world! I can’t wait for this,I
hug him until he releases all the tension and relaxes.
We kiss, I hate seeing him this sad.
“I’m sorry about yesterday, I love you,” I say.
“I understand and I will never do anything with you if
you’re not comfortable. It’s just that I miss you, I got
frustrated and…”
I shut him with a kiss, he doesn’t have to explain anything.
I unbutton his shirt, sitting on his lap with mylegs spread.
Within two minute both our clothes are scattered on the
floor, his head between my arms as Ikiss him passionately.
I need him inside me, I simply get turned on by him breathing
heavily and squeezing my ass. But we have totake it to the
bedroom because there are no condoms here. He throws me
on the bed and gets a condom.
Then lies between my legs and pulls one up.
He kisses me again, chasing my bottom lip hungrily. Hetouches
my clit, it slips between his fingers. I’m wet!
He curses and pushes his tip in. I shut my eyes whenhe’s
half way in and push my chest out, fuck.
“Nalenhle, you love me,” he says.
He’s not asking but telling me. How abnormal does that
sound?
I open my eyes and smile, “Yes, I do.”
“The way you feel me is insane. I get you wet so easily, Ihave
never had this sexual chemistry with anyone,” he breathes
harshly against my neck and then brushes his lips on my
earlobe. “I have missed you so much.”
I have missed him too but I can’t get words out. He’s
hitting my weak spots, I grab his waist, he moves faster.I
want it like that!
“Don’t stop, please,” my voice trembles.
I lift up the other leg, I want him in my depths. “Baby
don’t cook two-minute noodles,” he says.
“Mmmm!” I can feel every knot bursting, from my toes upto
every vein in my body.
He calls my name, I have snuggled my legs around him,my
coochie is breathing on him. Nothing feels good andmore
relieving than an orgasm. He tries moving but I’m a dam.
He gets a towel and wipes me, then gets in again.“I
love you,” he says.
I love him too, let me stop being selfish and help himgets
his big end.
“Sexy, little thing!” He likes how I move with his thrusts.“Mr
Good Dick,” I say.
He smiles, “Just marry me.” “Mmmm!” I
pull his face and kiss him.
I have never been a fan of french kisses but with him
everything goes. We chase tongues and make love
passionately until he reaches his own end.
It was good, I rest my head on his chest and listen to hisheart
beating.
“I’m serious, Nalenhle,” he says.
“About what?” I ask.
“Let’s get married,” he says.
“Babe!” I have never struck marriage off my dreams but Ihave
always known that I’d have to meet the right guy and be
mature before it happens. I’m quite shocked, I
thought I’d see marriage coming, it wouldn’t just drop asa
bomb.
.
.
.
I was supposed to come back in the morning but I’m here
before dinner instead, it’s already dark outside. Nzalo
dropped me off, we spent the whole day togethertalking
about our future.
“Hello everyone,” I’m in a good mood.They
all greet me back except him.
I grab a seat, I have news to share with them. Big news.
“Should I dish up for you?” aunty asks.
“No thanks, I’m full,” I say.
“Oh, you were well fed where you were.”
There’s no way I was going to leave Nzalo’s food forsamp
and goat meat.
“I want to tell you guys something,” I say.“Okay,
we are listening,” she says.
Thami is staring at me suspiciously. I call Zola and puther on
loudspeaker, everyone must hear these news.
“Nzalo wants us to get married,” I say.
Silence!
Even Zola goes silent on the phone. “I’m
serious, this is not a prank,” I say.
Unexpectedly, my uncle breaks into laughter. He laughsand
almost chokes on the samp he’s eating. What’s so funny?
I look at his wife. Why is no one saying anything?“Did
you agree?” Zola finally asks.
“No, we are still discussing it,” I say.
He’s still laughing, he sips water and continues.
“So he thinks you two are ready for marriage now?” he
asks.
“Yeah,” I’m confused.
What makes him think I won’t be a good wife and he won’t
be a good husband? He can marry me, he has allthe means.
And I can cook, clean and make great sex.
“I need to talk to his elders,” he says.
I hear Zola’s loud grunt; Mr X is the elder beingrequested,
unfortunately.
“Yoh, hhayi Nalenhle!” aunty exclaims.
I don’t know how she feels about this whole thing, she
looks worried more than anything.
I can't believe people are worried instead of celebrating.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 92
NALENHLE

Everyone goes to bed, leaving me watching TV. Nzalo isgoing

to call, we have a lot to talk about. We have discussed the
marriage issue in lengths and he’s not changing his mind. He
says it’s what he wants. I do thinkhe’s driven by loneliness.
He’s always had a family and people around him, being alone
made him realize that he has to make his own family to be
happy. I’m not sure about it yet, marriage is a forever thing
and sometimes my emotions get the better of me and I pack
and leave. Icannot do that if I’m married, I will have to find a
way to deal with things differently.
“Nalenhle,” aunty comes back.
I kinda knew she’d want to sit down with me. I know shehas
a lot to say and advise me about.
“I have been thinking about this,” she says, sitting downnext
to me. “I know a pastor and he’s helped a lot of couples. I
will talk to him and ask if he can sit down withyou two.”
“Pastors counsel couples who are about to get married,”I
say.
Nobody has ever received counselling for wanting to get
married.
“I know but he can help you as well. Just so you
understand what marriage is before you think about
getting yourselves into it at such a premature stage,”she
says.
“We have been together for over half a year now. All I need
to know is whether I love him enough to tie my lifeto him or
not.” The foundation of marriage is love and I think we have
that. Why doesn’t anyone have faith in us?
“I feel like you still have a lot of personal growth to do
before you get yourself in marriage. I know your uncle
makes it hard for you girls to date and see your partnersas
often as you’d like and freely. But that’s because he’s
protective and he doesn’t want you to turn out like other
girls in the village. That doesn’t mean jump into marriage,”
she says.
“I don’t think Nzalo is tired of sneaking around, he just
wants to have a family. He lives alone, that’s why he’s
looking for a wife,” I say.
“No, if that’s the case then he’s looking for a roommate. Istill
insist, I want you two to talk to a pastor before you conclude
anything,” she says.
“Alright.” I will do it to get her off my back.
No pastor is going to change his mind, he knows what he
wants. Nzalo is 35 years old, nobody should be asking
questions about him wanting to get married, he’s
at the right age. I’m not young either, I know people whogot
married at 18 and 19.
.
.
.
Nzalo calls, I switch off the TV and go to bed. I have totell
him about my uncle’s request and aunt’s pastor proposal. I
lie in bed comfortably.
“Are you good now?” he asks.
“Yeah, I am. So my uncle wants to talk with your elders.”
“Why?” he asks.
“I don’t know, he laughed when I told him that you wantus
to get married. In fact nobody seems to be happy about it.
My aunt wants us to meet up with some pastorfor
counselling so that we have a better idea of what weare
doing.”
“But we don’t need any counselling for now, maybe we can
get those sessions before the wedding like normal people,”
he says.
“That’s exactly what I told her but she still insisted. Shesays I
still have to grow before we get married. Am I childish?” I ask.
He laughs, “Sometimes you are but who said I want a
different version of you? Everything you are is what I fellin
love with. People look for wives for different reasons, I’m not
looking for a woman to join stokvels, prayer groups, then
cook and clean for me. There’s no
standard I want you to meet in terms of character and
duties. I’m okay with you the way you are, minus your
attitude.”
“Hawu!” I thought he said I’m perfect. “What about my
attitude?” I ask.
“Your feelings matter, that’s how you were raised, but
sometimes it’s not just your feelings that matter in a
situation. I’d like you to ask how I feel and what I think ifwe
are facing a situation. Not to just conclude based onyour
feelings. It’s just that, other than that I don’t want you to
become anything you are not. I love you and my mom loves
you too.”
“Your mom?” I’m confused.
“Yeah, she loves you hence she’s comfortable aroundyou.”
Isn’t she dead?
“In the dreamland,” he puts me out of mystery.
I don’t think there’s anyone who’s not comfortablearound
me, dead and living.
“I will talk to babomncane and hear what he says. I just
hope he agrees,” he says with a chuckle.
Mr X might find it difficult to balance his own affairs and
Nzalo’s. I understand why my uncle had a problem with this
Hadebe double dating.
“If he doesn’t agree what will you do?” I ask.
“We have relatives as well but the problem is that they
already came there to represent him as a possible
groom. Maybe I will get someone from my mother’s sideof
the family.”
“Your mother was married so you can’t be representedby
someone who’s not a Hadebe. Even you do, they’ll have to
be instructed by a Hadebe to make sure they
follow the Hadebe traditions to the dot,” I say.
“Yoh, okay.” Nzalo has no clue about these thingswhatsoever.
“And then what are we doing about the pastor meeting?”I
ask.
“It’s fine, I will go, but it’s not going to change anything Ihave
thought of and planned,” he says.
“Okay, that’s all from my side,” I say. “Mmmm,
so what are you wearing there?”
I roll my eyes, long distance relationship makes himinterested
in useless things.
“I’m still fully dressed,” I say.
“I wish I was there to undress you.”
If I don’t change the subject, this will end in phone sexand
we are too old for that.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA
We are out for the first time, attending a work event. I
didn’t want to come, I’m not in my best shape and look.My
nose grows everyday, my neck is dark. I scrub it everyday
but it’s not going anywhere. I got comfort in aPregnant
Ladies Group when they told me it happens when you’re
pregnant, I will be fine once I give birth. I requested a turtle
neck dress, which he got for me last minute. Luckily it did fit
me, they only did changes around the arms. It looks good, I
look tall in it and I’m wearing heels.
There are a lot of people, a lot more than I expected. It’san
event for the elites, once you walk in it looks like you’ve left
South Africa. Darkies are speaking English better than Eugen,
my manager. I met Xolani outside hisworking space, I have
gone to some of his business establishments and met his
employees. I know he’s quite monied but I did underestimate
how big he is in theindustry. It intimidates me everytime he’s
stopped by someone I know from TV and they talk like
equals.
Some even act like fans and stop him just to complimenthis
achievements and so forth.
“Is this Mrs Hadebe to be?” one lady asks, she’s with awhite
man with a British accent.
“Yes, her name is Nokuzola,” he says and tightens hishand
around.
I flash a smile, hoping it’s not giving anything awayabout
my scattered nerves.
“You look very young,” she says.
I didn’t need her to point it out. Yes, I haven’t met anyone
who’s my age unless it’s daughters with their
fathers. But I thought no one will pay attention since my
height is boosted by heels and a long dress.
I’m relieved when we walk away from them.
“Do you need another drink?” he asks before we sit.“No,
I’m good,” I say.
He kisses my cheek, we sit and flash smiles to our table
mates before shifting our eyes to the woman on stage. I
won’t lie and say I’m enjoying. Yes, drinks are flowing and
there’s a fine dining area, finger food on the table and all.
But I can’t wait to leave, this is not my crowd at all.
“Oh here comes, Dr Zondo,” he says excitedly.
A man joins our table, he’s with his wife who’s my mother’s
age. They’re all happy to see each other;
friends are reunited. While he talks to Dr Zondo, I haveto
chat with his wife as a friend.
“You never come out, he’s always telling us about you,”she
says.
“From now on, I will be coming out,” I lie to her face. I’m
never coming to these things again.
“Good, you need to mingle and meet all his associates.
What do you do?”
Eeh, she’s quite nosy.
“I work at New Universe,” I say.
“Germans own that company now, right? You need to do
something on the side, employment is never guaranteed in
this country. You are with Xolani Hadebe, get
something off the ground, even if you don’t end up
together you will know that you didn’t let opportunities
pass you by. I mean, every woman should walk awaywith
something from a relationship, we invest a lot in these
men.”
I nod awkwardly, “You are right.”
“I’m always right,” she smiles.
.
.
.

It was two hours but it felt like the whole night. My feet
are aching, I have never worn heels for so long. I take them
off as soon as we get inside the bedroom.
“Let me help you with the dress,” he says.
I turn around, he unzips it and pulls it up. It was a bit
tight, getting it off is a hustle. He kisses my neck, he
knows that I’m not secure about it at the moment.
“You were the most beautiful woman in the room. Did you
count how many people complimented you?” He’sso silly.
“No, I was too nervous for that,” I say.
“Why? You were the most beautiful woman there and Iwas so
proud to be next to you,” he says.
I’m blushing, I know that’s his observation because heloves
me, there were a lot of more beautiful women
there. He rubs my belly.
“You shouldn’t be insecure about this body. It’s adaptingto
the magic you’re nurturing in here,” he kisses it. “And Ilove
everything about it.”
“Thank you,” I need him to boost my confidence everynow
and then. “Have you thought about Nzalo’s
situation?”
My dad wants to meet him and I know it’s about Nzalo
asking Nale to marry him the way he did. It was a bomb,he
hasn’t even gotten back to my dad about Nzalo refusing to
end the relationship with Nale. I know dad will be hard on
him.
“My cousin will go, I’m just worried because they’re not
close. He might say or do things the way Nzalo wouldn’tlike
and you know how crazy that boy can be,” he says.
“I didn’t think they’d want to get married so soon. So if it
happens I will be Nale’s mother-in-law?” I can’t believe this
mess happening here.
“Yes,” he laughs.
“I always thought at some point in life we will live ourlives
separately. We went to the same schools, lived
together and worked in the same company. Now we are
going to marry into the same family.” We have twinned our
whole lives and it looks like that will be so until death.
“If you both can’t say no to the Hadebes, what can we
do?” He’s so full of himself.
“I’m only here because I’m pregnant,” I say.
“Really now?” The joke went above his head, he lookshurt.
“I’m joking,” I say.
“Don’t joke like that. Are we showering together?”“Yes,” I
say.
“Okay but I’m not helping you, you’re here because
you’re pregnant, you don’t love me.”
Jeez, can’t he take a joke?
.
.
. MSINDISI

Fraserburg is everything he expected and more. It’s like God

brought him here on purpose, he’s found his peaceof mind
and the privacy he needed. A neighbor he has isfive minutes
away; he’s a white farmer who lives with hiswife and their
dogs. The road isn’t that great, he had to get a Haval H6 for
all his traveling around town. He’s been alone ever since he
got here, just him and his small TV. He deactivated all his
social media accounts, he only keeps contact with his family
from time to time.
He can live comfortably and not do anything, but nobody
retires at 25, it's not realistic. He talked to his uncle about
getting a job this side, Xolani knows people in every
province.
As soon as he completed his business marketing coursehe
started working for his father. He’s never really
drafted a CV and went for a job interview. Regardless of how
he’s getting his next job, it’s still essential for him to submit
everything he has to submit and go under
training.
A Jamal person coming to see him today. Xolani said he’d be
helping him with his job application, interview and training.
His uncle knows people, so he can’t even question how he
knows the Jamal person. He will be thefirst person to ever
enter his apartment.

He should be here anytime now, in his text he said by5pm.

Oh, there’s a knock already.
He quickly puts his T-shirt on and runs his fingers
through his coiled, unkempt short hair. He’s been tryingto
find a barber around with no success.
Oh, Jamal is a white man. Blue eyes, ear-length hairand
very muscly legs.
“Msindisi, right?” His perfect pronunciation is amazing.He
got it right at first attempt without even stuttering.
“Yes,” Msindisi says, opening the door wider for him towalk in.
He has a couple of documents in his hand. He’s probably
around Xolani’s age, maybe they’re friends.
Msindisi offers him a seat on his L couch.
“Anything to drink?” he asks.
“Do you have beer?” Jamal.
“No, I don’t drink beer now. I have some ciders andjuice,”
Msindisi says.
“Water is fine,” he says.
He gets bottled water and ice cubes in a glass.
“Thank you,” Jamal.
“You are welcome,” he stares at him.
Jamal is also staring at him. Is he not supposed to startthe
conversation?
Msindisi takes a deep breath and asks, “So what are we
doing? You’re here to mentor me, right?”
“No, just guiding you. Your uncle said you’ve neverworked
outside the family business. Can you take instructions?”
What kind of question is this?
“Of course I can,” he says.
“Okay, you’re going to work for my friend and it’s a quite big
company. You’re joining the marketing team, there’s a dress
code and image one should have.”
“Okay, tell me more,” Msindisi.
“Do you have any formal clothes?” He looks at
Msindisi’s white socks and sagging pants.
“No,” Msindisi says.
“It doesn’t have to be suits, you just have to look presentable.
Also the hair, I think you will have to eithercut or comb when
you’re going to work.”
He scratches the hair in question. Why does it sound like
this Jamal is here to judge him instead of helpinghim with
the actual work process?
“Your uncle said something about your attitude,” hesays.
“What attitude?” Msindisi raises his eyebrow.
“I think this attitude; frowning, raising eyebrows and
chuckling. You said you can take instructions, which iswhat
you’d have to do when you’re working for somebody.”
“I don’t have any attitude. Is there anything else you’re
going to teach me beside telling me how not to be
myself?” Msindisi.
“Well, I think he was right. Can I have all copies of your
documents?”
“Sure,” he gets up and fetches them from the bedroom.
Jamal heaves a deep sigh and drinks water. Maybe hecould’ve
met him first before agreeing to Hadebe's request. This is not
going to be an easy task.
Msindisi comes back, their eyes meet but they both
quickly look away. Jamal is judging him, he’s also
judging Jamal for judging him.
“Let’s get this done, I’m sure your wife and kids arewaiting at
home,” he says.
“Not really,” Jamal says, reading through his papers.
“Why? Are you a bad husband, wife gets relieved whenyou’re
not home?”
“No, she’s late.”
“Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” he shouldn’t have made suchremarks.
“It’s been 3 years so I’m fine, thanks,” Jamal says and shrugs.
Then he asks, “So what made you leave home?This is a quiet
town, very boring and dry. I wouldn’t expect a young
gentleman like you to leave his colorful life and move here.”
“Well, I don’t live up to Jamal’s expectations,” Msindisisays.
“Your communication skills, zero,” Jamal says, his eyes on
the second document. He’s not even offended, he’s already
embraced himself for his hard head. “Have you made any
friends around?”
“No, everyone is old and white,” Msindisi says.
“Their bad!” Jamal.
He sighs, “I will make friends when I’m ready to, for nowI
want to be by myself.”
“Are you a good friend to yourself?” Jamal.
“Why would I be horrible to myself? Is there anything I
didn’t include?”
“No, it’s all here. I will submit it to HR tomorrow and thenget
your interview scheduled. I think you will start
training next week,” Jamal.
“No problem, thank you for coming over.”
Jamal finishes his water and then stands up, ready togo.
“Keep well,” he says.
Msindisi walks him out of the door.
“Drive safely,” he says.
Now it’s time for Jamal to raise his eyebrow. “Wow,that’s
very nice of you.”
Why does Jamal think he is a bad person? Is it his unclewho
described him like that? He’s always been a nice person but
even the nicest people have bad days. Why is his personality
so exaggerated?
He has to put an end to this. Next time this Jamal comeshere,
there will be cold beers waiting for him. It’s Jamal’sjob to get
him ready for his new job and it’s now his mission to prove
himself to Jamal. He didn’t come here
to be known as the rude Zulu boy.
His eyes stay on Jamal, laced with worry.
“Your trouser is falling down,” Jamal says.“It’s
not, you are old,” he says.
This is the first joke that cracks Jamal up. Maybe he is
because he doesn’t understand why he’s dressed likethis.
“Bye Msindisi,” he walks away.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 93
NALENHLE

Mr X is not coming, I think he’s scared. There’s a cousin

coming instead, I don’t think it’s someone Nzalo knows too
well to trust. He wasn’t comfortable with the idea of him
coming over. It’s a meeting between my uncle and him,
they’re going to discuss how bad it is for us to get married.
My uncle doesn’t want Zola with Mr X but he’s okay with her
getting married. With me, he doesn’t wantthe marriage idea
altogether, he thinks I’m going to fail at it. That’s something
Nzalo should worry about, not him.

I woke up early to clean the yard and polish the floors. My in-
law is coming, I don’t want him to come to a messy home.
Now I’m cooking, I cannot starve him. I willbe serving them
after they conclude the meeting.
Thami walks in, “There’s a car outside.”Oh,
they are here!
“Where is malume?” I ask.
“In the kraal,” he says. “Take
him to the rondavel.’
“There are two men,” he says.
“Are you sure?” I was only expecting one, the unknown
cousin.
Thami goes out to take them to the rondavel. I peep through
the window, I want to see how they look like.
WTF! Nzalo is the second person. My uncle will get a heart
attack because of this man. He’s not supposed tobe here, it’s
his elder that was requested.
His head turns, I think he can see me behind the slightlyopen
curtain. I’m mad and happy at same time. He shouldn’t be
here but I can’t say he doesn’t look good inthose jeans and
white T-shirt. My baby!
“And then?”
I quickly get away from the window. Damn, I wascooking.
“Is that Nzalo?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say.
“Anikhuzani vele?” she asks- do we ever reprimandeach
other.
“I told him not to come,” I say.
“Are you saying he doesn’t listen to you?”
“He does,” I say.
“Then how come he’s here after you told him not tocome?”
Nzalo is a grown up, I can’t tell him where to go and notgo.
She shakes her head, “You must enjoy it when youruncle is
scolding you and that boy.”
“I don’t,” I say.
She walks out. I also want to be part of that meeting butI
know I won’t be allowed to and I still need to finish cooking.

Thami comes back, he’s all smiles.

“And then?” I’m curious.
He opens his hand, he’s holding a R200 note.“It’s
mine, for a drink,” he says.
“Just yours?” I mean, Nzalo is my boyfriend, I deserve acut.
“Yes, I’m going to buy my girlfriend….”I’ve
had it with that young gold-digger! “No,
buy something for yourself,” I say.
He frowns, “You can’t tell me what to do with my money.”
He’s right, I actually can’t.
“It’s…your blessings. You can’t give away your blessings,
you’re blocking the future ones.” I’m evil for
this but everytime this boy gets money he wants to giveit to
the girlfriend. He also needs to spoil himself a bit.
He believes me on this one, he changes his mind and says he’s
going to buy himself a T-shirt. That’s more likeit. At least Nzalo
has bought one family member to his side, I know Thami will
like him from now onwards.
.
.
.
I still have no idea what is being discussed in the rondavel
but Nzalo hasn’t been thrown out yet, that gives me hope. I
think he’s able to convince them thathe’s ready to get
married and it’s me with my imperfections that he wants to
make a wife.
I have taken out my aunt’s Christmas plates that she’sonly
used once.
“Yimihlola yami yini le?” She’s walking in and seeing herplates
on the table.
“I promise I’m going to wash them and put them back,” Isay.
“And who even told you to cook for them?” she asks.
“Isisu somhambi asingakanani aunty,” I say what she always
told us whenever she was dishing for visitors. She said it’s
important to serve guests, from anywhere,even those we
don’t know, it’s humanity.
“Did you starve malume when he was at your father’s
house?” I ask.
“Don’t compare this to what your uncle and I shared. Wedid
everything accordingly, your uncle was a known boyfriend
and he paid his dues,” she says.
“Nzalo will do the same,” I say.
She heaves a long sigh. “Come, your uncle wants to askyou a
few questions.”
God was fast answering my prayers this time. I quicklygets
out of the apron and wear a dress. I’m home and
they haven’t paid anything for me, I leave my head as itis and
follow her to the rondavel.

They’re sitting on the grass mat the same way Mr X sat.We

have chairs but my uncle is all about torturing people. I sit
next to my aunt and look at him, coincidentally he’s also
looking at me.
I smile, he smiles back then looks away.
“Your boyfriend just looked at me in the eyes and told me
you two have already agreed to get married. Is thattrue?”
my uncle asks.
“We talked about it. I’m not the problem when it comesto
that,” I say.
“Who is the problem?” the problem asks.
I keep quiet, it will be disrespectful if I say it here.
“You want to be a Hadebe, not a Thabethe?” he asks.“I will
use both, like Kim Kardashian West. She added
both surnames to her name. I will be Nalenhle Thabethe
Hadebe,” I say.
“No babe, I want you to be Nalenhle Hadebe, you can carry
Thabethe as a name, like most married women.” He wants
me to be MaThabethe Hadebe, instead of Nalenhle
Thabethe Hadebe. Using surname as a nameis for old
people, I don’t want to be MaThabethe like I’mselling clay
pots.
“But I don’t want that,” I say.
“Then we need to have a conversation about it.”
“Okay,” I make a sad face.
“I love you,” he says.
I smile and keep my eyes as far away from my uncle as
possible. I love him too, I will just text it to him after this.
“And this is what I was talking about,” my uncle says tothe
uncle he came with.
“As I said, he doesn’t mean it in any disrespectful way. Love
is beautiful and we should be happy if our kids fallin love, not
many young people get to experience love these days. You
see them in taverns every weekend, none of them want to
settle down.”
“I’m not happy if he doesn’t know how to carry himself,”he
says.
“He knows how to carry himself, that’s why Nalenhle loves
him. I don’t think you raised a daughter who can’tmake
right decisions,” the Hadebe cousin says.
He looks at me and slightly he shakes his head. I don’tmake
bad decisions frequently, maybe once a month.
“Do you want this?” he asks.
I nod, “Yes.”
“And if you decide half way through it that you no longerwant
it, what must I do?”
“I won’t,” I say.
“You always do, Nalenhle. I don’t understand what the rush
is, you haven’t known this boy for long and you twoare
always fighting, I don’t see why you want marriage before
you even understand each other. You’re a
hothead, I know you.”
“I know her too,” Nzalo says. “Yeah,
he also knows me,” I testify.
“You two, where do you think you are?” Now he’s mad
because Nzalo knows me?
Ayy, this old man needs to chill a bit.
“Wena! You’re not acting like someone I raised in a
village. Few months with this boy and you are already
acting like the uncultured Hadebes,” he says to me.
Calling them uncultured is an insult, and I’m not actinglike
them in any way.
“Let’s step out for a minute,” aunty whispers.
We stand up and leave, I expect a confrontation. She’s always
been like this even when we were growing up, she’d let us
misbehave in front of people and then spankus when we get
home. I remember one day I was sick and it was my mother’s
clinic appointment, so she took both of us to the clinic. I was
8 or 9, and I wasn’t patient enough for the clinic long queues,
I started demanding
things. She was nice about it, I kicked things inside the
supermarket and insisted on getting a doll. I got the dolland
still didn’t calm down, she had her hands full with me and
my mother. We got home and I couldn’t wait to show off
my doll. But the hiding I got that day made mea bad mom to
Lucy- the doll.

We get in the kitchen, she folds her arms.

“Since when do you disrespect your uncle in front of
people like that?”
“But I wasn’t disrespecting him, I just want him to know
that I love Nzalo and he loves me,” I say.
“Let him prove himself, you were not supposed to open your
mouth there. What’s wrong with you?” She’s angry.
“Tell him to let us be,” I say.
“He will run his house the way he wants to. As old as I am,
your uncle has never said he loves me in front of myparents,
he only did at our wedding and that was it.”
“But times have changed malumekazi and expressing your
feelings to someone is not really a bad thing. It’s not
disrespectful in any way,” I say.
“No, just shut up!”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Can I ask?”
“What?”
“Do you think Nzalo doesn’t love me?”
She sighs heavily, “I don’t know.”
“But you know love better than me.” That’s what they’ve
been saying, they’re supposed to be experts in the love
department.
“Do you feel like he loves you and puts you first?”
“Yes,” I nod.
“Then he does but marriage doesn’t just take a man tolove
you. How does his family feel about you?” she asks.
“I don’t know and I don’t care,” I say.
“Well, you have to because in the long run it matters.
You’re not just marrying him but the whole family, thereare
things you will be expected to do. He’s the eldest athome,
right?”
I nod, “Yeah.”
“Then you’re taking a big role, don’t let him fool you into
thinking it’s going to be a walk in a park. If his sister getsa
baby out of wedlock and then decides she has better
things to do than raising a baby, it will be your job to raise
that baby. The other brother’s wife or his other wives that
may come after you, will look up to you. Youhave to wear
bigger shoes, your whole life is going to change and that’s
what we are scared of.”
“I hear you but Zola is also getting married nje,” I say.
“I know but you are not like Nokuzola. You have different
personalities, she’s patient and tolerant, and you are
not. That’s why you’re always calling us whenever
there’s a little misunderstanding between you and him. After
you marry him, you cannot call us about those little
misunderstandings anymore, you’ll have to take it up to his
elders and in-laws are likely to take their son’s side, Iknow
this from personal experiences.”
Definitely, Mr X would do that. Now I’m a bit scared, Iwon’t
lie.
“I’m not saying you’re not good enough, you are. I just want
you to know what you are getting into, have a good
understanding and don’t make a decision you will regret later
in life,” she says.
“I hear you, thanks.” I release a deep sigh and get aglass
of water.
“Are you done here?” she asks, opening the bowl of
salad.
“Yes,” I say.
“You’re so extra! A little meeting and you’re already cooking
a storm. The day they bring lobola you will putup a tent
nkosi yami ngiyazisa,” she says.
I didn’t cook a storm; it’s just beef and rice, and two salads. I
will never let any guest who’s here for me leavewith an empty
stomach.
“Your uncle will hate this, you know that right?” she sayswhen
I cover their plates.
I also dished for him, I will serve them together in the
rondavel.
“He won’t shout at me forever.” I really don’t mind being
shouted at, whatever he says will not stick on my body.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

I had to send money home as soon as my payment came

through and it had to be more than what I usuallysent when
Nale was also working. I don’t have any
financial responsibilities beside paying for my insurances and
sending money home, I’m saving the rest for my baby’s
arrival. I have been thinking about what Dr Zondo’s wife said
to me. I have been trying to come up with business ideas and
I haven’t come up witha single one. Honestly I have never
thought about doinganything other than going to work as
long as I’m employed. Hair salon? I have to be passionate
about hair but I don’t even know the basic hair rules.
Clothing business is also not something I’m passionate about
or have any knowledge of either. I’m lazy, I don’t have any
hand skills.
“Hello kwaHadebe,” he says, walking in.
He’s been on a virtual meeting for the past two hours. Ihave
been on his laptop trying to figure something out.
“Hey,” I close it and sit up.
He kisses my cheek, “What are you busy with?”
“Nothing,” I say.
“Now you’re keeping secrets from me?”
“Okay, I want to start a business,” I say.
He frowns, “A business?”
“Yeah, I want to do something, like a side hustle.”“Why? Is
what I give you not enough?”
Aargh!
“Of course not, I just want to have something under my
name, something I can be proud of and call my own,” Isay.
He doesn’t look happy at all.
“Since when?” he asks.
“Even if it’s been only a dream for a few minutes mypartner
should support me,” I say.
“I will support you, who said I won’t? I’m just asking where all
this comes from. I can provide for you, if you’renot satisfied
you can complain. You work a 9-5 job, I don’t have a problem
with it, yet you come home tired and we don’t spend as
much time together because youwork Monday to Friday
without a break. Now you want
to add something on top of it, that means you will come
back from work at 5pm and then attend whatever that side
hustle is going to be. When are you going to have time to
be a woman of the house?”
“Are you kidding me?” I didn’t expect this from him.
“I’m not, you can either keep your job or start your
business," I say.
“Why can’t I do both?” I ask.
“Because it’s going to be too much to handle and I don’twant
my child to have an absent mom. If you want to
start a business hand in your resignation letter and get a
business coach to assist you, whatever you decides on Iwill
help you get it off the ground and go through the right
channels. But you cannot do both.”
“I cannot???” Only my father can use these words tome.
“You cannot, my love,” he says without hesitation.
I don’t want to be emotional, it’s already been a long dayfor
me. I pick the laptop and get away from him before
this blows out of proportion.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 94
NOKUZOLA

When the Hadebes came here to ask for my hand in

marriage I wasn’t home and I wasn’t fully aware. It’s
Saturday today and they have came back with half of
what my father requested as a bride price. They
could’ve paid it all at once but that’s against culture, you
cannot pay everything at once as if you’re buying a shirt.They
will come back again in two months with the rest and then
we will proceed to the following ceremonies.
Xolani ended up not coming to meet with my dad for the
second time, he appointed his cousin to handle Nzalo’s
affairs. There’s no decision made yet, I think when they come
back from Mpumalanga next week they will tell usif they’re
getting married or not. I have my own concerns
about it but I have witnessed those two in love, if love
conquers everything as they say, then they will be fineeven in
marriage because if there’s anything about
them, they do love each other.

The first time they weren’t expected guests, today

they’re here and I’m also here making sure they receivea
good treatment. Sadly, I can’t cook for guests, I can only
cook for my family because they understand me.
Nale is in charge of the kitchen, I know she can cook, she
always cooks whenever we are hosting something as a
family. I’m only just concerned because she keepsdrinking
her red wine while cooking.
She pours another glass and opens the pot of stew. “I’mgoing
to put two drops,” she says.
“No, are you crazy?” I stop her, she wants to spoil thefood.
“I’m not drunk Zola, I saw this on YouTube,” she says.
“But you can’t try new recipes on guests, try it with your own
food first.” I don’t think anyone adds wine to a stew.Youtube
has crazy things, not everyone there is mentallystable.
“You don’t do anything except throwing silly instructions.The
Hadebes are also going to be my in-laws, why would I mess
their food?”
“Because you are drunk, duh!”
Mom walks in, exclaiming; “Is this how you are going to
carry yourselves kwaHadebe? Niyolwa emakhishini khona.”
“We are not fighting,” I say.
“But I can hear you outside the door bickering. Wena, goand
cover your shoulders, your father wants you,” she says.
“Why? Are they arguing?” I’ve been worried since they
started, it has taken very long, I think there’s a problem.
They’re no longer negotiating, they are here to bring what
he requested, now it’s either he’s bringing up the past or
changing his mind about certain things.

I cover my shoulders and follow my mom to the rondavel. I

don’t know any of these men, I only recognize one from the
event we attended, he’s a friend,then the three others are a
Hadebe family.
“You can see that she’s pregnant, right?” dad asks.“Yes,”
they say.
“So how are you bringing the bride prize before my
premises have been cleansed?”
My chest start burning. My mom whispers, telling me to
breathe. Why is he being difficult like this? Xolani has been
stressed this whole week, if this doesn’t go well hewill be
devastated.
“We thought we’d do things separately, do what we arehere
to do today and then come back to pay for the damages,” one
of them says.
“Nokuzola,” he says.
I swallow back, “Baba?”
My voice still comes out shaky.
“Whose house do stay in?”
He knows, I don’t know why he’s doing this. I can’t do this,
tears blind my vision, mom takes me out. My dad always
complicates things when it comes to Xolani.
There’s nothing he’s refused to do, he will pay for the
damages, he didn’t know they have to bring them first. Dad
could’ve told him what to do, not expect him to justknow
how things are done at the Thabethes.
“What happened?” Nale asks when she sees me
walking in with tears on my face.
Mom takes me to the couch, Nale brings a glass of
water.
“Why does he hate Xolani so much?” I don’t understand.
“Nobody hates anyone, you need to stop crying,” mom
says.
“But he does, he doesn’t want him to get throughanything
without a struggle.”
“Is he refusing the cows?” Nale asks.“He
is,” I say.
“Why?” She’s shocked.
“He is not refusing anything, your cousin’s emotions are
always high. Your father went through the same process
when he went to my family. Thamsanqa will go through
the same when he takes a wife. He just wants them to know
that they cannot do as they please, you have a protective
father they’ll have to deal with if they mess with you. And
they will appreciate you because they will
know how hard it was getting you. I don’t see why you’re
crying, your father is not doing anything wrong.”
Obviously she’s going to support her husband even when
he’s wrong. He gave the Hadebes a list of what hewanted,
they have brought those things to him and he’s still being
difficult.

My phone rings, it’s Xolani. They’ve probably told himabout

the challenges they’re encountering this side.
“Hello,” I answer walking to my room.
“Hey my love, I’m on my way,” he says.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“I’m a little scared but they say he’s getting calm. I justdon’t
want you to be stressed in your condition,” he says.
“I’m more worried about you,” I say.
“I will be there in 30 minutes or so. If he wants to address
anything with me personally I will be closeby.Don’t worry, I
will be okay, I’m a man there’s nothing Ican’t handle.”
I’m a bit relieved but I’m still worried because they’re stillin
the rondavel.
Nalenhle walks in with a plate of food. “Here, eat andyou
will be fine.”
“I will be fine once I hear they are done,” I say.
“I want us to talk about malume’s birthday. It’s Friday, Nzalo
and I are leaving on Saturday. I was thinking maybe we can
have a little celebration, he’s turning 48,very soon he will be
50.”
“Nale do you really think I want to celebrate his
birthday?” I ask.
“Chill, if he wasn’t going to accept the cows he would’ve
kicked them out by now. I only have R600 to spend
though, I can buy a cake and baloons,” she says, goingon
and disregarding my feelings.
I’m not in the right space to discuss dad’s birthday
celebration, I have a lot to worry about right now, that’sthe
last thing.
She sighs, “Okay, what do you want to do? Cry untilthey’re
done.”
“Anything but to talk about birthday celebrations,” I say.
“Fine,” she sits next to me. “Tell me about new scandalsof
New Universe or Mr X’s latest news.”
“There’s nothing. Onathi went back to college, that’s it,” Isay.
“Hawu you attended a very classy event. Are you tryingto tell
me nothing happened there?” she asks.
“Nothing, all those people were boring except for Mrs
Zondo who advised me about starting my own business.But
Xolani refused,” I say.
“Refused?” Her eyes widen. “So he wants to be the only
millionaire in the house?”
“No, he wants me to resign if I want to start a business,”I
say.
“Huh?” She’s shocked.
Honestly, I haven’t talked about it again. We’ll probably visit
the topic again but I don’t think he will change his mind. I do
understand his concerns but at the end of theday it has to be
my decision.
“He said it will be too much to handle bla bla bla and sortof
gave me an ultimatum. Either I continue working or resign and
start a business,” I say.
“So what did you choose?”
“My job, for now,” I say.
“I think you can do both.”
“I know, right? But he wants to control me, I guess toprove
that he’s a man of the house. I will revisit the subject some
other time, for now I have to focus on other things.”
“When are finding out the baby’s gender? I’m ready for alittle
girl, I have so many clothes to pass down to her, as
inheritance,” she says.
I laugh out loud. My mom bought us all the clothes we had
as children and my mom’s sense of fashion is a
minus two. I can’t have my baby wearing all those
hideous dresses with butterflies.
Speak of the devil, she walks in.
“It’s done, you’re now a Hadebe fiance,” she says.“Really?”
I’m shocked and happy.
Dad gave a very unnecessary struggle.
“Yes, I told you not to worry,” she says.
I smile, tearing up again, but this time it’s tears of joy.
“Congratulations Mrs Senior Citizen!” Nale hugs me.
I don’t care what anyone thinks, I’m going to marry the
man of my dreams.
.
.
.

XOLANI HADEBE

Xolani arrived but everything was sorted, he just parked and

waited for his people in a distance. Nale comes out with a
covered plate of food on a tray and cold drink.
She makes her way to his car, Zola asked her to givehim
something to eat.
He opens the door, looking at the short dress Nale iswearing.
“Is this my future daughter-in-law?”
“I’m your fiancé’s aunt here. Unjani?” she says.
“I cannot be any happier than this.” His wide smile
complements what he’s saying.
Yes, he’s over the moon.
“I haven’t seen you in ages,” he says. “Please
don’t lie and say you miss me.”
He chuckles, “I definitely won’t, there’s kaMaharaj.”“Who is
kaMaharaj?” she asks.
“Nzalo’s new, humble girlfriend.”
“From where?” she asks.
“Coffee shop, they love each other very much.”
“I will come and beat her up, she will fly back to Mumbai.”
She knows that whoever kaMaharaj is, she’snot with Nzalo,
maybe just a friendly girl working in a coffee shop that Nzalo
always goes to.
“You think being tall makes you untouchable, kaMaharajwill
beat the village out of you.” They’re still fooling around,
Xolani’s friend comes up to the car.
“Your father-in-law showed us flames,” he says.
Xolani laughs, “I heard, I’m glad you were able to negotiate
your way through.” He looks at Nale, “The dayI get my wife
we will go to Paris and block all of you for at least three
months.”
Well, Thabethe appears and the banter dies immediately.
Nale takes the opposite direction, leavingXolani and his
friend in the car. They cross paths.
“Where are you going?” Nale asks.
“I'm looking for my sheep along the road,” he says.
He walks and stops by the car though. Nale hurries home
to tip Zola off. Zola will worry, nothing good evercomes out
when those two hold a conversion. Is he even supposed to
approach his son-in-law outside theyard?

Xolani is out of the car, expecting anything to happen.“Nice to

see you again Thabethe,” he says.
“You know that I’m not happy with you Hadebe, right?”
Thabethe.
He takes a deep breath, “I know.”
“I will lose my mind if you hurt my daughter. I’m going togive
you the benefit of a doubt and trust you with her,” he says.
“Thank you,” Xolani says with a low sigh of relief.
“I told your people everything they need to do regarding the
pregnancy. Thank you for staying true to your words;
I received what I asked for. I’m looking for my sheep before
they destroy people’s crops.” He puts his stickabove his
shoulders and takes two steps away.
Then he turns back, “Tell your son to stay away from my
house.”
“I will tell him,” Xolani says, but they both know very well
that Nzalo won’t stay away from his house as long as
Nalenhle stays there and telling him to come.
Today calls for a celebration, from here they’re allheading to
Durban to celebrate.
.
.
.

It’s his cousins and a couple of friends. They cleared a

Shisanyama section to celebrate him finally being a step
closer to having his wife and having a baby on the way and
one daughter in college. He struggled in life, really struggled.
If anyone told him at 43 he’d have everything he has now, he
would’ve told them to get out of his face.
They have meat and drinks, lots and lots of it.
“At some point I thought that man was going to chase usout
with dogs,” his cousin says, laughing.
“They have no dogs, just goats and sheep,” Xolani says.
“And now cows too. I saw him smiling down at his kraal,
seeing all five of them pushing each other inside,” Mzobanzi
says, they’re childhood friends.
“When we go back again he will be smiling from ear toear.
I hope he has a bank to keep all that money, you know
village people dig holes to keep their money.”
They all laugh, Xolani is defending his father-in-law
saying he does have a bank.
His phone rings, it’s a number he doesn’t recognize.He
steps away from the noise and answers.
“Xolani, we need to talk,” the person says.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 95
NOKUZOLA

I couldn’t come back yesterday, I drove from home to work

by dawn. I’m seeing him for the first time since he sent
lobola, I’m excited. He’s already waiting for me as Idrive in.
He opens the door and embraces me in a tight hug.“Hey
makoti,” he says over my shoulder.
I don’t know, to me he sounds stressed.
I pull back and look at him. “Are you okay?”“I
missed you,” he says.
We kiss and hug again. I received a lot of congratulations at
work, news spread like wildfire. It’s now public news that
Xolani Hadebe paid lobola for me.
He smiles, his eyes are evident of fatigue. “I miss my cartoo,”
he says.
“Are you serious?” I ask.
“Yeah, can I have the keys?”
Well, it’s his car, he borrowed it to me. I give them back,he
kisses me and gets my bag.
We make our way inside, it smells good in the kitchen.“I’m
hungry,” I say.
“Aunty is setting the table, come this way.” He puts mybag on
the table and pulls me to the backdoor. I’m confused.

He opens the door and pulls me out. I see her; blackand

powerful, wearing a big ribbon as a crown. Her majesty,
the queen!
She’s mine, registered after me: X-MAKOTI.
LOL, and him too. She belongs to me and I belong to him. I
have been frozen, I haven’t said a word or movedsince my
eyes landed on her. I just put my hands over my mouth, in
shock.
“Nazi izinyawo ezilula, this one is yours,” he says.
I turn around and bury my face on his chest. Yes, I always
dreamed of buying myself a Mercedes Benz, butthat didn’t
happen. God has given me the car of my dreams through the
man of my dreams.
“Thank you so much,” I’m in tears.
“You’re welcome, ngiyak’thanda Nokuzola, ngenhliziyo yami
yonke.” He tightens his arms around me. I know his love, I
can feel it, everyday he shows me how muchhe loves me.
He lifts up my face, his face is heavy with emotions. “God
answered all my prayers with you. No matter whathappens,
always know that I love you with my heart.”
“I love you too, thank you.” I stand on my toes and kisshis
lips.
Oh God, thank you!
He hands me the keys and walks me to my car. It’s beaming
at me, my first baby, my queen. She’s brand new, her
leather seats are shining and smelling like mydreams. I need
a moment, I have to give a silent prayerand thank God first.
He’s standing outside, watching me with a smile on hisface.

I reverse her, she moves like a dream. I hit the hooter, he

waves his hand smiling. I’m just driving around the yard,
testing her out.
I call Nale before everyone else, she’s excited and wants
pictures of it, together with the personalized registration. I
know a man spending on you doesn’t mean he loves you, but
Xolani loves me. He goes aboveand beyond for me. He
always makes it his responsibility for me to live comfortably.
I have my own imperfections and he never complains about
anything
that I can’t do perfectly or do wrong.
I don’t know how long I have been inside my car, by thetime I
finally lock the doors he’s returned back inside thehouse. I find
him downing a shot of Vodka.
“Hey,” he looks a bit startled when I walk in.“Why
are you drinking?” I ask.
He just smiles and wraps his arms around me. I hope it’sjust
work stress because we have conquered a lot of
things together, even Skhundla Thabethe. He had noother
choice but to surrender to our love.
“Do you want to eat first or take a shower?” he asks.
“Eat, I’m starving.” I wash my hands and follow him tothe
balcony where our supper is set.
It’s a special one, he grabs a napkin and sit across me,we are
facing each other.
“Have you talked to your manager about getting you a
bigger uniform?”
“Really now?” I don’t want to talk about work anduniforms
right now.
“This one is getting a bit tight,” he says.
“And I can see that, my love. Tell me about your
weekend, how did you celebrate?”
He smiles, “It was good, I wish you were there with us. But
we’ll make our own time and go celebrate together.”
“Dad worships his new family,” I say.“Family?”
He raises his eyebrows.
“His cows. I forgot their names but each has a unique
name,” I say.
He smiles, “At least I’m now on his good side.”
“You are, I never thought it would ever happen.” Now I’m
happy to plan his birthday celebration with Nale. It’s going to
be a family thing, I will go and take them to
town. Then we will find a restaurant and celebrate there.
“Let me get my phone, sorry,” he says and leaves thetable.
He’s been acting strange, I follow him to get a bottle ofhot
sauce, they forgot to put it on the table. I get it fromthe
kitchen, when I turn my eyes he’s not getting any phone but
having a drink. Xolani is not a heavy drinker,sometimes I
even forget that he drinks.
“Hey,” he says, wiping his lips and coming to me.
“What’s going on?” Now I’m convinced that something is
wrong.
He looks stressed, he’s drinking nonstop, I doubt it has
anything to do with work.
“I had a bad week at the casino,” he says.
“You didn’t make money?” I’m confused.
“Yeah, not so much,” he says.
“Yet you bought me a car. If you have financial challenges
you shouldn’t overburden yourself,” I say.
“No, I don’t have financial challenges. It always stressesme
when we are having a bad week.” He’s lying, we’ve been
together for a long time and he’s never been stressed by any
of the businesses bad weeks.
“Are we lying to each other again?”
“No,” he says.
“Then what’s going on?”
“It’s something I have to discuss with the elders,” his chest
bounces as he takes a deep breath. “I don’t knowNokuzola,
I’m confused, I’m scared.”
“That sounds serious,” I’m also scared now.“It
is,” he says.
His eyes have turned bloodshot within a minute.
“You know that if you want to talk I’m here for you,right?”
He nods, “I know sthandwa sami, thank you.” “Let’s go
and eat then, everything will be fine.”
.
.
.

I set up an alarm clock, I want to act like a traditional wife.

Iron his clothes, make him breakfast and pack his
lunch. I hear it ringing before someone abruptly switchesit
off. But I’m already awake, I open my eyes and find him wide
awake. I thought he’d be still asleep, I wanted
to surprise him. It doesn’t look like he had a peaceful
sleep, his eyes are red-rimmed.
“Hey,” I shift closer to him.
He wraps his arm around me and kisses my forehead.“Why
are you waking up so early?” he asks.
“I want to iron your clothes and make you breakfast, likehow
other women do for their men,” I say.
“I hired someone to do that for me, rest,” he says and
blows out a deep sigh. His arm tightens around me. “How
did you sleep?”
“I slept good, wena?” I ask.“I
slept,” that’s all he says.
I know he hardly slept and it has to do with the thing
that’s stressing him.
“We still have time, don’t you want us to tickle Peanut alittle
bit?”
I laugh, “Seriously?”
“Please, maybe I will get energy to go to work.” He drops his
hand to my breasts and plays with my nipples,while brushing
his lips against my neck.
My breaths start getting heavy as I feel his hard shaft
poking me.
“Nokuzola,” he says in a low whisper.
“Yes love,” I open my eyes and look at him.“I
love you,” he says.
“I know that, Xolani.”
“I don’t think you know how much I do. The thought of not
having you one day kills me. I don’t see how I’d live without
you. So ngiyacela, whatever happens between us, don’t
leave me. Ungang’shiyi Nokuzola.” His voice isshaky and low.
“Why are you talking like this? I’m your fiance, I’m not
going anywhere.” I gently pull on his beard, looking inhis
eyes hoping he receives an assurance that he needs.
“I don’t know what the future holds for me,” he says.
How scared he actually sounds is what confuses me.
“You’re not dying, angithi?” I ask.
He smiles, “No, I’m only dying to get here.”
His hand slides between my thighs. I’m glad to see himwith a
smile on his face.
.
.
.

Dad didn’t want to celebrate his birthday, he hardly ever

does. It took a lot of convincing for him to come out. I don’t
agree with how he does things at times but one
thing I can never say is that he’s ever abandoned us, his
family. We have always had a father, even when he worked
far from home he was visiting us after every two weeks,
coming to our school meetings if mom was busy with Nale’s
mother, and he made sure that we never went to bed
hungry. I have never seen a man loving his special sister the
way this man did. Nale could’ve turnedout differently but she
turned out okay and that’s because of him and my mom.
Nale had a lot of strugglesand grievances growing up. I didn’t
understand it back
then but I understand it now, my dad stood in gaps mostof his
life.
“Where is the cake Nale?” I ask.
“Relax, it’s coming,” she says.
We all fit on the table but there’s an extra chair that I
think was brought by mistake. I contributed, so did Naleand
my mom, then Nale organized everything.

Our starters arrive; smoked salmon and guacamole shots.

Nzalo introduced Nale to the fine dining life, bothparents ask
for chicken strips and sauce instead.
“My birthday is coming up soon as well,” Thami says.“Next
year is not soon,” I say.
“It’s soon because you guys have to start preparing
early,” he says.
Mom waves him off, “You didn’t even care for your
birthday this year, you went to your friends to play
soccer.”
“Exactly!” I remember that very well, he wasn’t even
grateful.
“Because it wasn’t in a restaurant,” he says.
“No, you are ungrateful nje qha,” mom says.
We finish our starters, a few minutes later our mainarrives.
Oh, here comes the cake too.
“This wasn’t necessary,” Mr party says, he’s
overwhelmed. “I feel like I’m about to die when I start
receiving love like this.”
“You have to get used to it because this is going tohappen
every year now,” I say.
“I’m a spoiled dad,” he smiles.
“And brother,” Nale says.
“Who is your brother? Dad or uncle,” he says.
It’s great that Nale only found out recently that she’s his
half-sister too, otherwise their relationship would’ve been
totally different. She wouldn’t have respected himthe way
she does.
“When are you cutting the cake? I’m salivating,” mom
asks.
“Yet you complain about inyongo everytime I buy you
chocolates,” he says.
Nale and Thami look at each other. I’m confused, dothey not
see the chocolates and get their portions?
“What chocolates?” Nale asks.
“Let’s eat, I will cut the cake,” dad says, ignoring thequestion
Nale asked.
“You eat chocolates without us,” Nale won’t let it go.
Thami laughs. These two oldies are becoming criminalsof the
house.
The man of the house is finally 48, stubborn as ever and still
strong as ox. He cuts his cake, we feast on and pack the rest
to take with us home.
“When are they telling you the baby’s gender?” he asksme.
I didn’t think he cared.
“Very soon but I’m not sure that I want to know yet,” Isay.
“But it’s better to know and know what you’re preparingfor.
If it’s a boy I will start curving him sticks he will useto control
my goats with when herding them.”
“Already Thabethe?” I laugh.
Nale wants it to be a girl to inherit her hideous childhood
dresses and my dad wants a boy to herd his goats.
“Before I forget, why does Hadebe want a meeting?”“A
meeting?” I’m confused.
“His people called me and said he wants a meeting. I
thought you knew.” It’s news to me, Xolani hasn’t said
anything about wanting to meet my dad.
“Maybe it’s about the damages process and stuff.” I’m not
comfortable hearing this but I can’t show that to him.I don’t
think Xolani would just request a meeting with him if it
wasn’t between life and death.
“Look who is here!” Thami gets up excitedly.We all
turn our heads, Nzalo?
He’s coming here, carrying a wrapped gift box in hishand.
I look at Nale, she’s smiling. Damn, she invited him. Ithink
Nale can’t live without my dad’s irritation; she
thrives in it.Thami is the happiest person right now.Nzalo
greets, “Sanibonani.”
We greet back except Mr Party.
Nale shows him a seat.
Does he still need introduction?
“Umhhh, happy birthday malume,” he says, passing thelittle
box to my dad.
I see my dad taking a deep breath. “Thank you. What is
this?”
“Oh, it’s a gift, a watch,” Nzalo says.
“I look at the sun to know time,” dad says.
I understand he’s not used to this but he can’t decline agift,
that’s rude.
Mom smiles, “He loves watches, thank you.”
Dad is staring at him, if looks could kill Nzalo would bedead by
now.
I don’t think Nzalo knows that my dad carries a stick
everywhere he goes.
“How is Orintshi?” he asks.
Nale laughs. Mom shakes her head and laughs too.
I’m not sure which one is Orintshi but I know it’s one ofthe
cows.
“She’s fine,” dad says.
“How old are you now?” It’s such an innocent questioncoming
from Nzalo.
But dad’s face! I can’t hold myself, I laugh. “I'm
48,” he says and slightly shakes his head.
Nale is not helping Nzalo learn the village ways of doing
things, so it’s either he accepts Nzalo as he is or be
tortured forever.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 96
NALENHLE

I wanted my first time traveling to have passports and

booked flights. But I’m out of KZN for the first time, I feel
very blessed not to breathe the same air with my birth
people. We arrived two hours ago and checked in to our
hotel. I already have a lot that I want to explore here,
they have a pool and a bar area, I want to be in those places.
But Nzalo wants us to rest a bit and then go check on Lwethu.
We didn’t tell her that we are going to be this side, it’s going
to be a nice surprise. I hope she will join us tomorrow, there
are a lot of places to visit andthe man I’m with can be uptight
at times. I want to start a
traveling vlog, so I need to capture every moment
tomorrow.
“So have you made your decision?” he asks, comingback
from a call.
“About what?” I ask.
“Us getting married, my uncles are waiting for an
answer,” he says.
“Sit,” I shift my legs, making space for him.He
takes his shirt off and sits.
“I don’t mind getting married to you, you know that. Butmy
aunt scared me off, so I have been thinking more about the
kind of marriage we will have.”
“I’m listening,” he says.
“Do we have similar goals? I don’t even know when you want
to have children and how many you want. Do you want a
housewife or someone who’s going to work and bring half
bread to the table? And then polygamy, do youhate it the way
I do?”
He chuckles, “I don’t hate polygamy.” “So I
must expect a sisterwife in future?”
“I don’t think I can handle two women, not hating it
doesn’t mean I want to be a polygamist myself. I thinkwe
can talk about having kids instead,” he says.
“I do want to have kids but only in marriage. I grew up
without a dad, I want my kids to have both parents underone
roof,” I say.
“Well, we can get married first, travel the world and enjoy
life together, before having kids. But I want to haveat least
one baby before I turn 40,” he says.
“So we still have a few years to ourselves,” I’m happywith
this, it can work.
“Yeah, there’s no rush. About working, I will support
whatever you want to do. As long as it’s not traveling and
leaving me at home to record an unsuccessful vlog,”he says.
Right after claiming to support everything I do, now myvlog
won’t be successful.
“I will shame the devil,” I say.
He laughs, “I love you, so I won’t lie to you. How manytimes
did you record and delete your introduction speech?”
“I can’t get it right the first time because I have to speak
English to accommodate all my fans and I’m nervous.” He’s
such a horrible boyfriend, instead of supporting mehe’s
mocking me.
“Your fans?” He laughs.
“Future fans,” I say.
So far he’s the only person who’s subscribed to my channel.
Zola said she will subscribe later. We all startsomewhere,
right?
“So my beautiful vlogger, you have said yes?”I
smile, “I did.”
“Come here,” he pulls me to his arms.
We hug and kiss. This didn’t happen the way I always
dreamed of, the proposal wasn’t a question but a discussion
that took weeks. Nevertheless, I’m very happy, I love this
man with my whole heart.
“Thank you,” he says, smiling.
Happiness is written in his eyes. I won’t give him what
Msindisi and MaMkhwanazi gave him, but our journey will
bring him happiness and his own family in a coupleof years
to come.
.
.
.

We had our late lunch and then went to the shops to buy
grocery for Lwethu. I don’t know what she likes, so I didn’t
buy a lot, her brother will leave her with some cash to buy
the rest when she gets free time. We have arrived to the
apartments, it’s late, she’s definitely back
from any daily activity she may have been busy with
during the day.
Nzalo carries all the shopping bags, I’m behind him busywith
my recording. We make our way in, it’s quiet
outside, everyone is indoors, it’s cold, you only hearradios and
TVs. I stop recording outside the door.
Nzalo knocks a couple of times before the door opens. A
half naked boy? Are we at the right place?
“Where is Lwethu?” Nzalo asks, he’s sure this is theright
apartment.
The boy looks back, Lwethu’s voice comes from insideasking
who’s at the door. Maybe this is a roommate,
they’re sharing rent and both hate staying at the student
residences.
Nzalo walk in, I follow right after, I want to see what’sgoing on.
Lwethu is half naked as well.
“Hhayi-bo!” I’m shocked.
The boy is standing by the door, probably contemplating
between running off and standing with his half-naked partner.
“Why are you here?” She’s shaking.
I look at the boy, then back at her. They’re probably age
mates, that’s a relief.
“Who is this boy and why is he in the apartment I rent
for?” Nzalo.
“It’s…it’s Thabiso,” she says, stuttering.
Nzalo turns and instructs the Thabiso to come closer.
He’s put everything down and I’m not sure what he’s
thinking. I stand in the middle, I don’t want to be arrestedin
Mpumalanga.
“Why are you here?” he asks.
Thabiso looks frightened. “I’m helping Lwethu with her
assignment.”
“Where is the assignment?” Nzalo.
Poor boy, he doesn’t even know what to do.I
look at Lwethu, “Is he your boyfriend?”
She nods.
My eyes trail down to her lower body wrapped in a
towel. That’s a lot of kilos she’s gained, she didn’t looklike
this the last time we saw her.
Nzalo is going off, he’s making noise and scaring them.“Let me
talk to them,” I say.
“No, I sent you here to come and study, wena ufuya
oskhotheni!”
“Nzalo please,” I touch his arm.
He looks at me and exhales heavily. “I will be in the car,”he
says.
He walks out, I close the door after him and turn back to
these two.
“Guys seriously, do you live together?” I ask.Lwethu
nods, sheepishly.
Disappointing!
“For how long?” I ask.
“Maybe two months, I wasn’t well so I asked him to
move in with me,” she says.
“But we always chat on Whatsapp and you’ve never said
anything about being sick. Is it being sick making you gain
weight?” I ask.
She drops her eyes.
I look at Thabiso. “Does your mother know that you’re
cohabiting instead of studying?”
“I am studying,” he says.
“But does she know about this arrangement?” He
shakes his head and drops his eyes as well.
“Your brother is angry but I will talk to him, tomorrowwe’ll
take you to the doctor,” I say.
“Huh-ah Nale, I don’t want to go to the doctor,” sherefuses.
“Aren’t you sick?” I ask.
“Not anymore,” she says.
I think she’s found out, I can see it too. I doubt Nzalonoticed,
men are dumb.
This is not what we came here for, Nzalo will lose hismind.
“We brought you these, we are here until Tuesday, wewill
call,” I say.
“Okay, thank you,” she says with a sigh of relief.
This Thabiso is in a big problem, his parents should’ve raised
him better. Lwethu couldn’t even wait to finish hercourse
before having unprotected sex. God help us all!
.
.
.
XOLANI HADEBE

They came to meet up with Thabethe; him and his cousin.

He’s scared but his fear of Thabethe is nothingcompared to
what he stands to lose if he doesn’t get help. Thabethe can
judge him and hate him, but all thatdon’t matter now. He’s
Zola’s father, if there’s anyone who can help with this it’s
him and his wife.
He can’t even look at Zola without panicking. They comevery
far, it took time for her to forgive him and heal from
everything. They’re finally happy and now, Robyn. She’sback
in town with bomb.
Thabethe lets them inside the rondavel, his wife is present
but busy with house chores. It’s a good thing
that Nale went on a trip, otherwise Zola would’ve heardthis
the wrong way.
“I have been anxious,” Thabethe says as soon as theysit
down.
“It’s not good, Thabethe. That’s why we reached out, since we
have agreed to be one family we thought it’sbetter we ask for
help from you,” his cousin says.
“What kind of help?” Thabethe asks.
“Xolani received bad news from his old flame, the onethey
fought about these last couple of months. It’s not
something he’s brave enough to break it to her, hencewe
are here to ask you to talk to her as a family,” his cousin
says.
“What bad news are those?” Thabethe asks, alreadylooking at
Xolani with judging eyes.
He just knows it’s going to break his daughter’s heart.
“Her name is Robyn and she’s pregnant. We don’t knowwho
the father really is but she insists that it’s a Hadebe baby, so
he has to take charge until the baby is born andDNA tests are
conducted. It’s difficult for us to tell MaThabethe such news,
maybe if you talk to her motherand she tells her, the best
way possible, she won’t take it badly.”
Thabethe shakes his head, “You want us to make hercry?”
“Thabethe this is hard, the woman in question has health
challenges and MaThabethe cannot be kept inthe dark for
long because she will take their
communication for something else. She’s also pregnant,we
don’t want to put her at risk.”
“I knew you’d do this, that’s why I didn’t trust you. Sothat
woman is going to be in your life until she gives birth. You
know very well how Nokuzola is, she won’ttake this kindly,”
Thabethe.
“This happened a long time ago and we have doubts
regarding that baby’s paternity. But since the mother isnot
well, we cannot do anything but help and wait.”
“And what if it happens to be a Hadebe baby?”
Thabethe.
“Then the baby will be welcomed and raised as a
Hadebe," he says.
“Oh, my daughter will have to deal with a man who haskids
from different mamas? I shouldn’t have open my doors for
you, I knew something was going to happen, nx!” He stands
up, taking a heavy sigh.
Khululiwe walks in with drinks.
“No nkosikazi, they’re already leaving,” Thabethe says.“Awu,
without even having a drink?” Khululiwe asks. “Yes,”
Thabethe.
They both stand up and say their goodbyes.

Khululiwe couldn’t even wait to hear what they came for.

Thabethe looks angry.
“Thabethe yini?” she asks.
“You need to call Nokuzola, tell her to come home," hesays.
“Why?” She’s confused.
“There’s something we need to tell her.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 97
NALENHLE

I didn’t tell him last night, I needed our trips to go

smooth, without him being sour. It’s been a long day, we
owe Lwethu a call, but we are tired from all the activitiesand
trips. I get in the shower after him, when I come out he’s
ordered food and got us drinks. He’s still mad at Lwethu, he’s
going to be more mad when I tell him what’s going on.
Lwethu confirmed my suspicions when we chatted on
Whatsapp last night. I feel like my aunt has a bad mouth,
why is Lwethu pregnant right after shetold me about a sister-
in-law who gets pregnant out of wedlock and leaves the baby
home?
“Are you calm?” I ask.
He frowns, “What do you mean?”
“I have to tell you something.” I wrap a towel around my
chest and join him to eat.
He’s looking at me curiously.
“It’s about Lwethu,” I say.
He scoffs, “I don’t want to hear anything about thatchild.”
“But I think you have to hear this,” I say.
“Ok, what does she want?” he asks with a low sigh.
“She’s pregnant,” I say.
He stops eating, almost spills his drink as he pushes theplate
away.
“Whaaat?”
“She’s pregnant,” I repeat. “Are
you fuckin’ kidding me?”Why is
he standing up now?
“Nzalo sit down,” I pull his arm.
He pulls it back and walks around, his arms on thewaist.
“She says Thabiso moved in because she was feeling sick,
then they discovered that she’s actually pregnant,”I say.
“Pregnant? Lwethu just got out of high school, she
insisted on leaving the province for lamanyala lawa?
What does she know about having a baby? Being a
mother?”
“I don’t know, what I know is that she’s scared,” I say.
“Scared of what? If she can sleep with a boy, without
protection and fall pregnant, she’s definitely not scaredof
anything in life.” He’s not going to calm down.
I let him be and eat my food. He’s pacing around, cursing
and asking me questions. Eventually he takeshis phone
and calls her. It’s a new sibling rivalry,
unfortunately Lwethu is wrong, I cannot defend her.
After a long blasting call, he finalls ends it and comes
back.
“I think she should come here, for us to talk,” I say.
“About what? She’s here to study, I have nothing to talkto
her about regarding the pregnancy. She will sort it outwith
that boy’s family, ang’hlangene,” he says.
“But they can’t take the baby without doing things rightwith
the family.”
“Then tell her uncle, not me!” he’s shouting at me now.
“I’m just advising,” I say, raising my hands up.“I’m
not pregnant, don’t advise me,” he says.
It’s definitely not happening today, I will call Lwethu and
check up on her. Then when this one is calm he will callMr X,
I’m sure Mr X will handle this way better.
.
.
. HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 100
NALENHLE

Robyn is pregnant?
No, I don’t believe it. Why did she wait until Mr X brought
lobola to announce it. NSA never ends well, in most cases. No
woman would be okay with a man who fucks her for years
and then meets another woman and proposes marriage in
less than five months. I think the biggest mistake Mr X would
make right now is playing byher instructions, which I’m afraid
he’s already doing.
She’s back in KZN, supposedly sick and unable to maintain
herself. If he falls into it, they will be temptedagain, and
the second time I don’t think Zola would
forgive him.
Speaking of her, let me get the hot tea straight from the
horse’s mouth.
She answers immediately, I bet she was on the phone,not Mr
X’s chest.
“Hey, can we talk?” I ask.
“Yes, what’s up?” she says.
“I just heard about Robyn. Is it true?”
“Let me put you on loudspeaker…”
I’m confused. Why am I going on loudspeaker?
“Nale wants to know if you really made Robyn pregnant?”
she’s asking Mr X, they’re together.
Is Zola mad? She’s ruining my reputation, now my future
father-in-law will think I’m a mamgobhozi.
“Why are you doing this?” I hear Mr X’s voice.
“What am I doing? Did you make her pregnant or not?”
Oh fuck, I just ignited a fight with my nosy ass. I know how
Zola gets when she’s angry, she will shred him intopieces, I
feel sorry for the senior citizen. I mean, he wasalready
forgiven for this sin and now he’s back to the naughty
corner, all because he fucked a crazy woman.

I drop the call, they are arguing. Let me call my

boyfriend instead, I’m sure this is the secret he was
keeping from me.
“Babe,” he answers.
“Hey my love, call me back.”
He laughs. I drop the call and wait a minute before my
phone rings.
“I’m still working, what are you up to?” he asks.
“I’m in bed, why don’t you work in the morning? You’rethe
boss, nobody is going to say anything even if you don’t finish
it,” I say.
“I don’t like having unfinished work, you know me.”“Okay,
how is Lwethu?” I ask.
I hear a sigh. His sister’s pregnancy hurt him badly.
“She’s at babomncane’s, I haven’t seen her today butwe
spoke.”
“Has she decided about what she’s going to do?” I ask.
“She has to continue with her studies. Babomncane wants
the baby to go and stay at Umlazi but I’m not sureabout
that,” he says.
“But what other choice do you have? She can’t go with ababy
to university. Even if you hire a nanny, nannies arrive in the
morning and leave in the afternoon.”
“It can be a stay-in,” he says.
“That doesn’t mean working 24 hours, the baby will needa
guardian.” I think it’s better to send the baby to
Thabiso’s home and help financially.
“Eyy, I don’t know babe,” he sighs heavily.
“It’s bad, but once again, congratulations on being anuncle.”
He clicks his tongue, “It’s not an achievement. When areyou
coming to see me?”
“I don’t know, faka imali yokuza,” I say.
“I feel like you’re going to scam me. How much is it
again?”
“R500,” I say.
“Nalenhle!” He’s stingy AF.
“I’m including a McDonald’s meal on the way.”
“Fine, I will deposit it. When are you coming?”
“Tomorrow,” I say.
“Okay, I love you uyezwa?”
“I love you too, bab’ wekhaya.”
“What?” He’s laughing.
See, we are planning marriage but we don’t even take
married people’s language seriously.
.
.
.

I woke up late today, I didn’t even see Thami leaving for

school. I need to do my laundry and collect firewood to cook
sugar beans, that’s what I’m craving for. I can’t cook it using
electricity, aunty would kick me out.
I need to have breakfast first, then do my laundry beforethe
sun goes up. I find my uncle in the kitchen, he’s stirring a pot
of noodles.
“Malume?” I’m surprised.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m hungry. Why are cooking Thami’s noodles?” I mean,we
are not allowed to eat them, they’re for him to eat if
there’s no breakfast because he can’t go to school withan
empty stomach.
“Thami doesn’t buy anything here,” he says.
This is new! I watch him getting a plate and dishing all of
them. Two red chillis, I know this is for his wife. He’s stealing
the child’s noodles to spoil his wife. Clap once, clap twice!
I eat my dry breakfast and start with my day’s activities.My
laundry dries on the line, I take the machete and head to the
bushes to collect firewoods.

I’m not a fan of ukutheza, I always have a bundle thinnerthan

my body. I can count how many woods I’m tying uphere with
my fingers. I put it on my head and make my way back home.
The sun is scorching, I was hoping not to bump into anyone,
I’m not in my best clothes.
Mbuzeni is walking hand in hand with a very light- skinned
woman that I can’t recognize. Mbuzeni was athug, when
did he settle down?
As tired as I am, I will stop and make small talk.
“Hhayi-bo sesinoskwiza?” Right now I’m a typical villagegirl
not doing anything with her own life.
Yes, I’m very interested in people’s businesses.“How
are you Nalenhle?” Mbuzeni asks.
The woman gives me a frown, so I give her a frown back.
Mbuzeni and I are not even the same age for herto frown at
me. He wanted Zola years back and she
turned him down because he was older than her. He’s
younger than Mr X though, so I guess he needed to bath
more.
“I’m fine, I haven’t seen you in a long time,” I say to
Mbuzeni.
“I got here yesterday to show mam around,” he says,sort
of bragging.
Mam is giving me faces, I don’t know where I know her
from. It’s like she’s trying to figure me out as well.
“We left the car kwaNxele because the road going homeis
bad, that’s why you see us walking,” he says.
“Right!” I feel like he just wants to tell me that his womanhas
a car.
“Yeah, she also needed to stretch her legs,” he says,linking his
arm around her waist.
Oh, mam is pregnant too.
Things must be going well for him to get a pretty womanlike
this. Last time I heard he was working for a security
company. He looks good too, I must say.
“Bye Nalenhle, let’s not keep you,” he takes her hand,they
walk away. He has an umbrella above her head with one
hand. Yep, Mbuzeni can be romantic.
High heels on the village makoti? Ay, I have seen it all.

I don’t even start the fire, I rush inside the house to tellmy
aunt about what I just saw.
“Malumekazi ungabona!” I say.
She lowers the radio volume.
I sit down next to her, “You still remember Mbuzeni,
MaNdlela’s first son? He has a colored makoti, she’swearing
heels and walking around with an umbrella.”
“Oh, I heard that. But MaNdlela said her daughter-in-lawis
white,” she says.
“No, mixed, she’s not white. She’s pregnant already.” I’m
shocked.
Mbuzeni was stabbing people growing up.
“Bad timing, inebhadi leyontombazane because he just lost
his job in that security company he was working for,”she says.
“She looks monied, I’m sure she’s the one taking care ofhim,
plus she has a car.”
“I don’t trust these city women, she probably fell
pregnant for him by mistake.”
Well, I can’t say they look compatible. But love knows no
color, no age, no thug. So it’s possible that she found love in a
hopeless place.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, he's awakeand

sitting in the dark. We have been fighting nonstop,there’s
nothing I haven’t said to him. I think he understands what
pain is and how it feels like when
inflicted by someone that you love and care about.
I don’t switch off the light when I come back from the
bathroom. I get in bed and look at him. I don’t think he’shad
any sleep. I do feel sorry for him a little bit, I know how
hurtful some things I said were.
“Have I ever disrespected you unprovoked?”No
answer.
“Have I ever woke up in the morning and did somethingto
hurt you?”
His silence is a no.
“When you’re sitting in the dark, hurting because you hurt
me and brought out the worst in me, you look like avictim.
But you know very well that I respect you, I listen
to you and do my best to make you happy. That is untilyou
take all that and throw it on my face. I don’t hurt anyone
Xolani, unless they hurt me.”
He clears his throat, “What did I do?”
“Really?” I’m trying to have a calm conversation he
wanted, I don’t want any smart questions.
“I didn’t lie about anything, I didn’t keep any secret. Whyare
you fighting me?”
“So I’m in the wrong?” I ask.
“No, but tell me what I have done wrong?”
“You brought her back into our lives,” I say.
“How? I didn’t look for her, she called me and said she’s
pregnant. I have never slept with that woman without a
condom, not even before I met you. Fine, mistakes happen
and condoms aren’t 100% guaranteed, but I handled the
issue with an amount of respect, for you and your family.”
“Have you ever been cheated on before?” I ask.
“Obviously, yes,” he says.
“And how long were you angry at MaMkhwanazi?”
He doesn’t answer. Well, the answer is, he’s been madat her
since his 30s. Yet he expects me to get over it within a
couple of months. Yes, I did forgive him and I was okay until
his actions brought her back to my life.
“You went out and bought condoms, you were turned onby
another woman. You went back to the room, got naked and
kissed each other. You got between her legs,
whispered in her ears, fondled her breasts and made love to
her. Moaned her name, told her how good it feltdoing what
you were doing….”
“That’s not what happened,” he interjects.
“In my head that’s what happened. You made love to
another woman and cuddled her the whole night. If the
baby is really yours, they will be almost the same age. Ihave
never been pregnant before, this is my first baby, and I have
to get divided attention from you because you are
expecting another baby outside of our relationship. Yet you
don’t understand why I’m angry, you don’t understand the
depth of the scars you gave me, and why this whole
situation triggers me.”
“I get it,” he says.
“No, you don’t get it Xolani. You called my father and said
I’m disrespectful. But you didn’t call my father whenI
supported you in your family battles, rallying behind you and
Robyn taking on MaMkhwanazi, not knowing
that something was happening. You didn’t call my father
when I changed my working shifts, from night to day, justso I
can be with you. Not when you were hospitalized and I
stayed here taking care of your daughter. When I nursed you
back to life after your injuries. When I stood up for you
against my own family. You didn’t call my
father to say anything.”
He exhales heavily, “Can I fix things?”“How?” I
ask.
“I don’t know, please tell me what I can do to make youfeel
better. I have failed on my own, now I’m willing to
follow your lead, whatever you want to see happening
now.”
Phewwww!!!! HOPELESS
PLACES CHAPTER 101
NOKUZOLA

I want to see her, it’s not something I have ever dreamed of-
dealing with a man’s other woman. But it affects my
relationship, so we need to sit down, all threeof us. When he
called her earlier she said she’s in the village and didn’t
specify which village and why she wasthere. Hopefully she
will be back this afternoon, I want us to talk and find a way
forward.
Things aren’t okay in the house, there’s no lovey-dovey,but
the tension has dissolved since we had that talk lastnight. I
haven’t been in the right space of mind, I’m sureLwethu
thinks I’m an evil aunt. That’s why I’m making burgers and
chips, we have a pool side date. I need to show her that I’m
not a monster, I just had a rough couple of days.

Funnily, we are both pregnant. I take her as Xolani’s

daughter, being pregnant around the same time as his
daughter is insane. I take a jug of juice and ask her to bring
our burgers. She’s a sweet child and she looks like
a child, unlike Onathi. I don’t know how she fell pregnant,
she looks too innocent. She doesn’t talk a lot,I don’t know if
that’s how she naturally is or circumstances makes her
reverse true personality for now.
“How is Thabiso?” I ask.
“He’s okay,” she says.
“Where is the smile?” I expect to see her blush when
hearing his name. Teenage love is like that. But she looks
sad, not in love.
“You’re still dating, right?”
“Yeah,” she nods.
“So what’s the problem?”
“He’s just going through a lot and I feel like I should have
considered his background before letting him…youknow do
what,” she says.
“But he’s grown, he knew what was going to happen if he
didn’t use a condom. That’s not just on you, it takes two to
tango,” I say.
“Yeah, you’re right.” She eats her burger, relaxing a littlebit.
“Is your brother still angry at you?” I ask.
“I think he will never forgive me. Msindisi didn’t shout, hejust
asked if the baby was fine and I was okay,” she says.
“Msindisi must be your favorite,” I say.
She smiles, “All time favorite, Nzalo is the provider.”I
laugh, Nzalo wouldn’t like this.
We finish our meal and get in the pool. It’s hot, we splash
ourselves with water for almost half an hour.

When I get back in the house I have several missedcalls

from Nale. I wonder what’s up; I call her back.
“Are you crazy?” she asks.
“I was in the pool, what’s up with so many calls?”“I
just saw Mbuzeni,” she says.
“So?” I’m confused.
She can’t call me so many times just to tell me about
Mbuzeni.
“He has a girlfriend, she was wearing heels and he hadan
umbrella above her head,” she says.
“I don’t care about Mbuzeni. How is everyone at home?”I
ask.
“Shocked by Mbuzeni,” she says.
I laugh, “Unescefe yazi! You need to visit, I miss you.”
“Nzalo wanted me to come today but I have a lot to doand
I’m too exhausted to ask for permission from the noodle-
thieves,” she says.
“Who are those?” I can't keep up with all the things shecomes
up with.
“Your parents,” she says.
I’m laughing, about to ask what happened, Xolani arrives. I
have to call her some other time, I drop the calland turn my
attention to the man of the house.
“I was free so I thought let me come home for lunch,” he
says.
“Okay,” I nod.
He looks around, I stand still, weirdly we steal glances ateach
other.
He clears his throat, “Umh, I tried calling her again andshe said
she will come here.”
“Okay,” I don’t have a problem, she’s been invited here
before, probably many times before me and more times
during me.
“Can I have something to eat?” he asks.
I frown, confused. Since when does he ask me for food? He’s
probably testing me, trying to figure out where I am,
emotionally.
“I will warm chicken curry leftovers,” I say, taking out the
bowl of chicken that I cooked the other day. He pulls the
chair and waits.
The food wasn’t good, I don’t know what it lacked but it
wasn’t just one ingredient. I warm it for him and serve him
with a glass of water.
He sits down and eats slowly. I hate seeing him down,
knowing that I’m the reason for it. Yes, his actions provoked
me but maybe I could’ve controlled my anger
a little bit. He hurts more than he should, I don’t know ifit’s
because of how he grew up, he’s way too sensitive.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He looks at me, “You are sorry?”
“For the name calling and saying I don’t love you. I do love
you, if I didn’t I wouldn’t have came back here fromhome,” I
say.
“But you said you’re only here because you are
pregnant,” he says.
“Yeah, I wanted to hurt you,” I say.
“But that’s not fair. The way you talk to me, you
intentionally hurt me and put things in my head. Is this
how you’re always going to express yourself when you’re
angry?”
“It takes a lot to make me angry Xolani,” I say.
“I know but in a relationship things aren’t always sailing
smoothly. I can’t guarantee that I will never make you
angry…”
“Oh, you’re still going to cheat again?”He
sighs heavily, “No.”
“Cheating is what made me angry and out of control.
Other than those instances, when have you ever seenme
angry?” I ask.
“The first time I saw you,” he says.
I roll my eyes, “Really now? You were messing with Nalenhle
that time and you know that she’s off limits.
Just like you, I’d fight the same way if anyone messed with
you.”
“I hear you, but I don’t want to be insulted and yelled at the
way you do, even in front of the kids,” he says.
“Fine, I will try to express myself differently next time you
make me angry. But that doesn’t include cheating, if you do
something like this again I will leave, straight away.”
“It will never happen again, I learned my lesson,” hesays.
“Good. Should I give you some more?” I ask, he’salmost
done with his food.
“No, thanks. It’s really good though,” he says.
Wow, nobody has ever complimented my food before.“I
will cook again tonight,” I say.
His eyes widen. “Again?”
“Yes, again.” He said it’s good, so why not?
“No sthandwa sami, you know I don’t want you to
overwork yourself. We will eat out, I will make
reservations,” he says.
“Okay,” I know where I stand, he doesn’t like my food, he
just complimented because he didn’t have a choice.
.
.
.
MSINDISI

He completed his training and started working. It’s not an

environment he’s used to, especially because he hasto share
a working space with three other individuals, hewas just
allocated a desk in a corner instead of an actualoffice. It’s his
first week, and so far so good.
Jamal said he will pick him up after work, they’re going out
for drinks to celebrate him getting a job. Yes, he didn’t earn
it, Xolani got it for him, but they will celebrateanyway.
He just got back home and took a quick shower, then made a
snack. A lot is going on back home, he wouldn’thave had any
time to himself if he had stayed. Lwethu ispregnant, Xolani
could have two babies coming at once,and Nzalo is planning
to get married. Everyone has something going on, it’s chaotic.

Jamal calls, saying he’s on his street. He wraps everything up

and puts on a T-shirt. Because of work he’s changed his
wardrobe, Jamal made him buy straight pants and formal
shirts. Whenever he looks athimself in the mirror he looks
different. It’s after work now, he can be himself.
He opens the door, Jamal walks in.
“These pants again,” he says.
Msindisi chuckles, “I’m not going to look like a priest
after work.”
“Do I look like a priest??” Jamal asks, he’s in a formalshirt.
Msindisi looks at him, from head to toe. “You look goofy.”“No,
you look goofy,” Jamal says.
They look at each other, then burst into laughter.
.
.
.
Jamal’s house looks like his reality. It looks like the wifedied;
nothing is organized. The couch covers are
traumatizing, whoever sold them to him hated him. Lord,the
curtains!
“Welcome,” Jamal says.
“Thanks,” he can’t keep his eyes off the interior design.One
word for it, horrible!
“Let’s get this party started,” Jamal takes off his shirt.
Msindisi walks up to his kitchen counter and organizes his
pots on the rack. A small pot can’t be under a big pot,that’s
bullshit.
“I was going to sort that out,” Jamal says.
“Right!” Msindisi mumbles, looking at his utensils.
This house will drive him crazy. How does Jamal live? What
kind of life is this? His wife must be turning in hergrave.
“Do you think you will get married again?”
Jamal is taken back by the question. “I don’t know,why?”
“Because you need a wife, Jamal,” he says.“Oh,
you’re judging my home now?”
“It’s a beautiful home, you just need to organize better.Do
you need a hand?”
“No, I’m okay,” Jamal says.
“I would’ve came over the weekend and helped you get
organized and shop new couch covers and curtains foryou. I
understand you’re not into bright colours, but brown and
black? It’s giving serial killer vibes,” he says.
This sends Jamal in a fit of laughter. What kind of judgmental,
offensive, insensitive statement is this?
“Are you serious?” He’s still laughing.
“Yes, I’m traumatized. Can we go to the backyard?Otherwise I
won’t drink, I will keep finding faults in everything and being
vocal about it?”
“You’re the most horrible guest I’ve ever had,” Jamalsays.
He shrugs, “Sorry, I’m just being honest.”
They take their drinks to the backyard and set the fire fora
braai. It promises to be a good Thursday, with a couple of
sexy girls the mood would be complete, exceptthat they
don’t need girls. It’s just both of them and
they’re having so much fun, throwing jabs at each other,
laughing and drinking their evening away.
Msindisi’s phone rings, it’s Nzalo.“Can
you talk?” Nzalo asks.
Msindisi steps away, there’s some music making it hardfor
Nzalo to hear him.
“Yes, we can talk,” he says.
“It’s Thursday, why does it sound like you’re in a club?”
Really now, he doesn’t want big brother’s authority froma
different province.
“I’m in Jamal’s house,” he says.
“Who is Jamal?” Nzalo asks.
“Jamal is babomncane’s friend, he invited me over fordrinks,”
he says.
“Is he trustworthy?” Nzalo. “Yes,
why are you calling me?”
“Just checking up. That Jamal, is he married?”
“No,” he says.
“Can’t you find your own friends instead of old,
unmarried ones?”
“Bhuti, I will end this call,” he says.
Nzalo exhales heavily, “Okay, sorry. But please be
careful there, look after yourself and stay away from
older men.”
“Thanks for the advice, pass my regards to Nale.” He
drops the call.
Nzalo can be pain in the arse. Who said he’s going tosleep
with Jamal?
Jamal lifts his eyes, he notices the mood change.“Is
everything good?” he asks.
Msindisi shrugs, “Big brother’s call, you know how thatis.”
“No, I don’t have a brother,” Jamal says and turns hisback,
checking the meat.
No, he’s not sexually attracted to Jamal. Nzalo needs tochill.
No, attraction whatsover.
Jamal turns and almost catches him staring. WTF is
wrong with him? Nzalo just warned him.

He refused to come to the pool with me, so I came alone.

Hopefully he’s calm down now, I’m tired of himshouting at
me for Lwethu’s doings.
I make my way back to our room and find him having
another drink. He puts it down when I walk in, there’s
remorse in his eyes.
“I didn’t want this to happen, ngiyaxolisa,” he says.
“What are you talking about?” I’m confused.
“Lwethu ruined my mood, I haven’t been able to even enjoy
being with you. I only have two days left, then youwill go
back home and I will be alone again,” he says.
“But I will visit you njena,” I say, wrapping my armsaround
his waist.
“It’s not the same, I’m lonely, so I want to make the mostout
of this trip. Sex, cuddles and kisses. I won’t let Lwethu
distract me,” he says.
“Maybe you should report to Mr X and let him handle it,"I
say.
“Yeah, but he’s dealing with his own issues as well,” hesays.
“Like what? Zola’s pregnancy?” I ask.
“You will find out when Zola tells you. Whenever I tellyou
something you always run to Zola,” he says.
“Only once. Is it something good or bad?” I’m curious.“Both,”
he says.
I wonder what the senior citizen has done again.
He picks his drink and sits on the bed while I dry myselfand
get dressed.
He’s watching me with admiration.
“Did you ever consider modelling?” he asks. “Yes,
but I have a terrible walk and a bad smile.”“You have
a beautiful smile,” he says.
“I don’t have straight teeth, so don’t lie.”
He laughs, “We can get them straight.”
“Nah, I’m not interested, I’m used to it now.”
“But modelling could be better than vlogging. I mean, I’m
your only subscriber so far, Zola forgot to subscribe, Msindisi
said he hasn’t downloaded any apps yet.”
“Why are you so against my career?” I ask.
Every chance he gets, he throws jabs at it.
“I’m not against it, come here.” I get on the bed and lieon
his lap, facing up.
He kisses my lips right after taking a sip of Castle Lite. “How
is Msindisi doing?” I ask.
“He’s okay, training for a new job. I just hope no manconfuses
him there,” he says.
I’m confused. Why would Msindisi be confused by men?
He takes a deep breath and gulps down the whole glass. I
have always felt like he’s keeping somethingfrom me.
“What’s going on with Msindisi?”
“Nothing,” he says.
“I’m going to be your wife and you are…”He
sighs, “Msindisi slept with Musa.”
“In what manner?” I’m confused.
God please don’t let it be what I think!
“I don’t know the manner but they had sex.”
Oh fuck!
I thought they were just fake friends.
“I don’t know if he’s gay or bisexual or straight. Instead of
figuring it out with us, his family, and addressing the level
of his betrayal, he chose to run away. I’m worried
about him, Msindisi can be easily confused by anyonewho
gives him attention.”
Well, I know that too well. I don’t know why this makesme
sad, Musa definitely took advantage of his vulnerability and
pain.
“Maybe being alone will help him figure it out. But do you
think he’s gay?” I ask.
“He grew up as a normal boy, interested in boy activitiesand
dressing up like a boy. And he’s always dated girls,if he
changes to boys it will definitely be because he hasn’t had a
good experience with girls,” he says.
“But I don’t think bad experiences can change a person’s
sexuality. If it was so I would’ve been a lesbianway before
you met me, all my relationships sucked.”
What’s making him smile? My heart was broken manytimes.
“My ancestors were working overtime,” he brags.
“You overrate them.” My relationships were horriblebecause I
wasn’t a good girlfriend.
Umh no, they were bad boyfriends, none of it was my
fault.
“You had to kiss a few frogs before meeting your prince,”he
says.
I roll my eyes, smiling.
He’s right, they were all frogs.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

Xolani went somewhere yesterday and I have a strong

feeling that he was home and whatever he was there foris
the reason why my mom asked me to come today. I go home
when I’m free to, if I’m being instructed to by my parents
there’s definitely a problem. I’m a bit annoyed, I feel like
Xolani could’ve given me an idea, not do things behind my
back.
I just hope it’s nothing bad. I had a good week, I don’t need
anything to ruin it on the last day. I can’t go home empty
handed regardless of how recent I went, so I passby the
shops and buy my mother’s scones ingredients and fruits.
I can’t drive to work from home like last week, I will go back to
Tongaat today. It’s still early, if I leave by 3pm I will be fine.
This is my new car, unfortunately Nale is nothome to see it.
But I know my mom will celebrate when she sees it.
I drive in the yard and park in front of the main house.My
mom comes out, “Usufikile.”
“Yeah, I’m tired as hell.” I take out the two shoppingbags,
she helps me with them.
For some reason she’s pretending not to notice my car. Itold
her about it and she couldn’t wait to see it, however now she
looks unimpressed.

Thami is not home, as always. Dad is watching TV, Igreet and

join him.
“Are you hungry?” mom asks.
“No, I’m fine,” I say.
“Okay, I will just bring tea.”
I’m curious, they both look distant, avoiding eye contact
with me.
The tea comes, they switch off the TV and help each
other with cups.
I’m not in the mood for tea, I wait for them to tell me whyI’m
here.
“Unjani umkhwenyana?” mom asks.
“Xolani is fine.” He was here yesterday mos.
She heaves a deep sigh, “There’s something we need totalk
about.”
“Okay,” I don’t know why I’m nervous.
“Umkhwenyana came here yesterday, accompanied byhis
cousin to tell us that he made someone else pregnant,” she
says.
I’m confused. Maybe this is a prank.
“I know this will hurt you and make you doubt your placein
his heart. But him coming here to report himself means that
he’s remorseful.” It’s serious, she’s not laughing.
My dad hardly looks sorry for me, when I see the look onhis
face it becomes real.
“I don’t understand.” My chest is tight, there’s a lumpstuck on
my throat.
“He said it’s the same woman you two fought about, he’snot
sure about the paternity so he requested DNA tests once the
baby is born. But right now the mother is in
town and she’s not well and he has to take theresponsibility
she says is his.”
“Ma are you serious?” Oh my god, who did I do wrong?I
was starting to be okay with it; I was moving on. “Don’t
cry,” she comes to sit next to me.
“He’s devastated as well, you only have to wait until shegives
birth to know if he’s really the father, until then
focus on your man and growing baby.” It’s not easy asshe
says it.
Robyn didn’t happen before we got together, he cheatedon
me.
“Xolani hates me, ma,” I’m convinced he does.
He admitted to cheating but assured me that he used a
condom. Now this? How do I ever get over this?
“He made a mistake and you had already forgiven him,this
is just a battle you have to face together. And
whatever the outcome is, you have to support him,” she
says.
Dad clears his throat, “Do you need water?”I
nod.
He fetches a glass from the kitchen.
He gives it to me and sits. “Don’t burden yourself supporting
him, focus on yourself and deal with whatever you’re
feeling. He’s an old man, he can takecare of himself.”
My head is spinning. What makes everything worse isthe
fact that I’m pregnant for him as well, even if I wanted to
remove myself from him, we have this little human being
to share forever.
.
.
.

When it happened I was angry, with these new

developments coming out now I’m hurt. Really, really hurt.
Xolani had no child when I got in a relationship withhim, now
half way through children are popping out, each with a
different mother. I carried myself with grace,I took care of
myself, I respected my body and protectedmy heart. I took a
risk and trusted him with my heart, and I have been hurt
more than I’ve ever been hurt by any man.
My parents didn’t want me to come back because I’m
driving but I told them I’d be fine. And I have made it back
safely. I have my pies from the garage, I walk inand start
in the kitchen to warm them.
I hear footsteps and don’t bother turning around. He
stands behind and doesn’t say anything. I wash my
hands and get a plate. The microwave stops, I take them
out and pull a chair.
“Nokuzola,” he calls my name. The
devil calls my fuckin’ name!
My appetite just disappears, I push away the plate.
“You look so hurt,” he says.
How else would I be? Happy?
“You lied again and said you used a condom.”
“If I didn’t I wouldn’t ask for a DNA test. On top of that I
wasn’t the only man she was sleeping with, that same day
she had been with someone else.”
That makes it even more disgusting.
“Was she that hard to resist that you had to swim in another
man’s sperms?” I’m so glad he didn’t touch mewhen he came
back, I’m allergic to amanyala.
“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the baby I’m carrying,
just know that. I’m only here because I’m pregnant, not
because my heart is still here.”
His jaw tightens, he inhales sharply. I know that went
straight to the heart.
“I don’t care for anything, as long as you take care of my
needs, you can even go and stay with her so that you can
nurse her back to life.” I put the pies back in the microwave, I
will eat them later.
He doesn’t say anything back, which is good for him. I
leave him on the kitchen chair and go upstairs.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 98
NOKUZOLA

It’s been over an hour, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, I
don’t know if he plans to sleep sitting or he has other plans.
I’m watching Nale’s “traveling” videos, I have nothing more
to say to Xolani. I hope he never makes any mistake and talk
to me about Robyn and herbaby. I will never coexist with
that woman or anything
that has her blood running through the veins.
“Nokuzola,” he says, clearing his throat.
I look at him, he’s still fully dressed.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing,” I say.
He exhales heavily, “Please help me, I will do whateveryou
want.”
“Xolani, I don’t want you to do anything other than taking
care of our baby once he or she arrives,” I say.
He stays quiet, I go back to my phone.
He opens his mouth again, “If I meet her, can I go withyou?”
“With me? Ngingenaphi mina?” I have nothing to meet
Robyn for, I’m not even curious about their conversations.
They have had many behind my back, God knows for how
long. They must continue how theystarted.
“I don’t want to do things behind your back,” he says.
Wait a minute…
“Didn’t you sleep with her behind my back?”He
looks away and keeps quiet. Exactly!
I don’t want to be stressed by things I was never a partof
from the beginning.
“Is it okay if I give her a sum of money that can help herwith
whatever she needs until she gives birth?” he asks.
“It’s your money, ngingenaphi mina Xolani?”
“You’re my fiance, I have to get your permission,” hesays.
“You didn’t ask for my permission to sleep with her.
Ngomoya wesonto Xolani, I beg you to leave me alone.”I
want to sleep, how he deals with Robyn is his own business.
“Can I also sleep?” he asks.
I keep quiet, I don’t want any fake respect. Xolani needsno
permission to do anything from me, if he did we wouldn’t be
here.

His phone rings, he answers. It sounds like there’s a problem

with Purity, which is Lwethu, Nzalo is livid onthe other side.
Whatever that is, it’s bad. But nothing concerns Nokuzola in
this family.
He wants to talk about it, he keeps exclaiming in
disbelief hoping I will ask what’s wrong.
“Nokuzola,” he says.
I lazily shift my eyes to him.
“Do you want me to go to the guest bedroom?”
“Leave me alone,” I cover my head.
I don’t know why he keeps asking me stupid questions.
It takes him about five minutes to leave the room, I guess
he’s decided not to share the room with me. Hemakes me
mad, then gets scared of witnessing the outcome of my
emotions that he's riled up.
I get up and follow him. He’s preparing the bed in theguest
bedroom.
“Is this where we sleep now?” I ask. “But I
asked and you told me to leave.”
“To leave me alone and not talk to me. That doesn’t mean
leave me alone in bed, pregnant and heartbrokenbecause of
you,” I say.
“Okay, ngiyaxolisa.” He puts the pillow down and followsme
back to our bedroom.
I get in bed and cover my head.
.
.
.

I called for Zanele, she’s a colleague living closeby, I asked

her to pick me up on her way to work. I have packed my
lunch, I just need to eat something quicklybefore she
arrives.
“Morning,” the voice says.
My appetite vanishes but I force down more spoons of
yogurt for my baby’s sake.
“There’s a car outside, are you expecting anyone?” heasks.
“Oh, it must be Zanele, I asked for a lift.” I take my bagand
my safety gloves.
“You have a car, Nokuzola,” he says.
“A bribe? No thanks, take it back or give it to Robyn.”
“That’s not true, I bought the car way before I discoveredthat
she is…” He doesn’t say it, I’m glaring at him. “Whenever
you’re angry uyadikila, you know how that makes me feel. I
do everything out of love.”
“Sorry I’m hurting your important feelings,” I say and
head to the door.
He calls my name, I ignore and walk out.
.
.
.

Zanele and I work together, I can’t say we are friends but we

are close. She’s married with two kids, I’m sureshe knows
this life better than me.
“Tough morning, huh?” she says.I
release a sigh. “Don’t even ask.”
“What happened, you just got a Mercedes Benz after lobola,
this should be your first honeymoon phase,” shesays.
“Not when men can’t keep their zips close,” I say. “Girl,
usekugilile already? I have been there, I didn’t
think I’d ever forgive and heal. Who is she?” she asks.
“Some half-breed whore, yazini I don’t even want to
entertain his explanations. I just regret forgiving him inthe
first place,” I say.
“Uzothini girl, you love him and you’re pregnant. Is shestill
in the picture?”
“It’s complicated, all I know is that I don’t have energy ortime
to entertain all this.”
“No, address the problem, don’t let it slide. Otherwise similar
issues will keep rising in the future, he must know
where you stand, how you feel, and do exactly what you
want.”
“I’m tired, Zanele!” I really have no strength, I have
talked about Robyn for almost half of our journey.
“What do you want to do to feel better?” she asks.
“Go out, be away from him and forget about my problems
for a couple of hours.” I don’t drink, hence I never go out
unless I’m out for dinner or lunch, but this
time I want to go out and do something crazy, even if it’snot
drinking.
“Hubby comes home 7:30pm today, I will ask my nannyif she
can hold the reigns until 7pm, I will drive her home,” she
says.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“We will decide after work,” she says.I
can’t wait!
.
.
.

XOLANI HADEBE

Nzalo called and said they’re cutting their trip short. Lwethu is
pregnant, nobody could’ve seen this one coming. It’s
disappointing but he doesn’t have a close relationship with
Lwethu to speak on her character. They
are back with her, Nzalo drove Nale home first and then
came back. Xolani hasn’t seen Lwethu, whom he refers to as
Purity, for quite some time.
Nzalo is angry, he was spitting fire yesterday on the call.But it’s
possible that all this is happening because Lwethu’s mother
passed on when she was little. As disappointed as he is, Xolani
still feels some sympathy
for her. She’s a baby herself, how is she going to takecare of
the baby?
“What happened?” he asks.
“She got pregnant babomncane, that’s what
happened,"- Nzalo.
“Come here Purity,” Xolani pulls the chair.
Lwethu sits, her eyes dropped. Nzalo goes to the
kitchen to get himself something to drink.
“Who did this?” Xolani asks.
“Thabiso,” she says.
“From where?”
“Umlazi,” she says.
Knowing that it’s not someone from far is relieving.
“Why Purity? You have to complete your studies, if heloves
you he would’ve waited for you.”
She doesn’t answer; she’s tearing up.
“Did he tell his parents?” Xolani asks. She
shakes her head, “He’s scared.”
Nzalo walks back in. “I gave him one week to tell his
parents to come here.”
“That’s not how things are done, if Purity is pregnant it
means someone has to go with her to Umlazi to notify the
boy’s family,” Xolani says.
“Then who will go? I haven’t paid one cow for Nalenhle,she
can’t carry duties of a Hadebe woman. Lwethu knows the
situation at home, we don’t have anyone.”
Xolani sighs heavily, “I don’t know, her aunt and I are noteven
on good terms right now, I wouldn’t know how to ask her to
do something like this.”
“Unfortunately, she’s the only woman we have in the
family, at least she’s a fiance, she can act on behalf ofHadebe
women,” Nzalo says.
Lwethu starts sobbing as the conversation gets deeper.She
didn’t think all this would be necessary. She had different
plans with Thabiso.
“Don’t cry, everything will be fine,” Xolani rubs her back.
Nzalo has had it with her tears; he’s not bothered
anymore. He’s hard to be around when he’s angry,
maybe it will be better for Lwethu to stay over here
because she’s already feeling the heat.
“Ma would have been very disappointed,” Nzalo.
“Okay, enough! Purity go and ask aunty to make you
something to eat,” Xolani says.
.
.
.

Well, it’s been over two hours since Nokuzola left work,yet
she’s still not home. He didn’t want to call, thinking maybe
he started at the shops and grabbed somethingto eat. But
no, it’s getting late and he’s becoming moreworried.
He calls, it rings unanswered. He tries again, same fate.
Nokuzola is now using this situation to get out of character.
He looks through his contacts and finds NewUniverse’s
general manager’s number. He calls and
finds out that all workers left on time. After a couple more
calls he finds out that Nokuzola left with the samelady that
picked her up in the morning. Her friend has always been
Nale, it looks like Nale’s absence is going to invite
unnecessary people into their lives.
Lwethu joins him in the dining room for dinner and later goes
to bed, without meeting Nokuzola. His temperatureis rising,
even his wristwatch feels heavy. He takes it off and pours
cold water in a glass. It’s past 7pm now and
this woman is still not home, and not picking his calls.

The gate opens, he curses and goes to the door. It’s her,
phewww.
He almost lost his shit. Anything could’ve happened toher
and she didn’t even bother communicating.
“Uphumaphi?” he asks.
Zola walks past him and doesn’t answer.
Yes, he understands that she’s angry but they cannotlive like
this. He follows her up to their bedroom, she’snot bothered
by any of his questions.
“Nokuzola, I’m talking to you,” he says.
“I went out with Zanele. Did I leave with your kidneys?”
He exhales heavily, “I asked what you want us to do, I’mopen
to anything, and you refused. You just want to insult me and
stomp your feet on me like a dirty, old
rug.”
“You are a dirty, old rug,” she says.
“Nokuzola don’t disrespect me like this,” his voice
trembles.
“Or what? Do your worse Xolani, you’re good at it
anyway.”
He walks out, his chest pounding.

But he only needed a few minutes to breathe, he comes

back, Zola is getting ready for a bath.
“I was worried sick, you’re pregnant Nokuzola. Your parents
know that you are in my house, if anything happens to you I
will be asked questions,” he says calmly, hoping she will
understand where his frustrationcame from.
“I’m an adult, I can take care of myself,” she says.
“Okay,” he says, taking out a deep breath.
She wraps her head with a scarf and charges her
phone.
“Purity is here,” he says.
“Oh, okay,” she says.
“She’s pregnant, the boy responsible is from Umlazi. Idon’t
know if you can help us and go with her to report the
pregnancy,” he says.
“No!" she refuses, without any second thought.
“I know that you’re not happy with what my past has
brought up but I wouldn’t ask you if there was another
option, she has to do this and go back to university.”
“Go with her or ask Robyn,” she says.
“Robyn is a nobody in this family, I’m asking you as…”
“As a what, Xolani? You have a mouth, take her and goto
Umlazi, then open the mouth that God gave you andreport
the pregnancy. I’m not going to be a recognized female
figure only when it benefits you, then when it doesn’t you
leave me here and go…”
He walks out and slams the door while she’s talking.“Bustard!”
she curses alone.
No, she’s going to do it.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 99
They don’t know shit about this, but there was no time to
reach out to long distant relatives who would’ve probably
spread around the news and gossiped about Lwethu
nonstop. Nzalo didn’t want to come, he wants to distance
himself from this pregnancy, however this is hislittle sister by
blood and she has no one beside him.
Xolani came with them as an elder but he also has noidea
what they’re supposed to do.

They were supposed to arrive by dawn but both of them had

business meetings to go through in the morning, so it’s
during the day. They arrive at Umlazi where
Thabiso’s grandmother lives with his mom. Lwethu is behind
them, wearing a big fur jacket, embarrassed andscared.
The door opens after they knock twice, the lady must be
Thabiso’s mother.
She looks confused.
“Hello, can I help?” she asks.
Nzalo looks at his uncle, Xolani is still trying to
remember the line they’re supposed to say.
“You’re Thabiso’s mom, right?” Nzalo.
“Yes, I am. Is my son alright?” She’s confused and
frightened, thinking it’s people from university here todeliver
bad news.
“Well, your son fucked my sister up,” he says.
The woman frowns, “I’m confused, can you come
inside?”

They all walk in, following her to the lounge where an elder
woman, the grandmother, is sitting with balls of cotton wool,
creating some art work with her hands. Sheadjusts her
eyeglasses, looking at the people walking in.
“Can you introduce yourselves first?” says the mother.
“I’m Lwethu’s sister and this is her uncle, and we arehere to
tell you that your son fucked up,” Nzalo.
They look at Lwethu, her bump is already visible.
“Thabiso did this?” the mother is shocked.
Lwethu drops her eyes and nods, shamefully.
“Call Thabiso right now, what is this?” the grandmother
exclaims.
Thabiso is called and put on loudspeaker. He starts
apologizing to his mother right away, his mother is livid.
“You are only 17, Thabiso. You know the situation you left
here and you go and make a baby. Who do you thinkis going
to look after it? Your father left and never lookedback.
Ungilethela usizi phezu kolunye!” She’s close to
tears.
Thabiso keeps apologizing on the other side; he sounds
scared and really remorseful.
“That boy mustn’t cry, I found him naked in her apartment,
they’ve been cohabiting for months. He
fucked my sister up, messing with her future,” Nzalo.
Xolani whispers, telling him to calm down. They’re here to
find a way forward, not to point fingers, both of them are
teenagers, neither can be blamed.
“Can we talk about the baby?” Xolani says.
Thabiso’s mom is already crying, she looks heavilyburdened.
“I can’t say anything about the baby, I can’t even take care of
Thabiso. I’ve been trying to raise money for hiscosmetics for
the last two weeks, how can I afford milkand diapers? His
father never did anything for him, wedon’t even know where
he lives.”
“Kuyezwakala sisi, don’t cry. We are not here to make
demands or point fingers. As you can see, Lwethu onlyhas
male figures in her life, so we’d really appreciate help, any
help that we can get.”
“How far is she?” the grandmother asks.
They all look at Lwethu.
She’s counting with her fingers. Nzalo shakes his headin
despair.
“13 weeks,” she says.
“So 13 weeks ago you didn’t know anything about
condoms Olwethu?”
“Nzalokayise!” Xolani gives him a look.
Lwethu knows that she fucked up, she’s been told many
times.
“Have you started clinic?” the mom asks.
Lwethu shakes her head, she was scared of Nzalo
finding out.
“Do you need someone to go with you?” the mom asks.
“Don’t worry about that, it will be sorted from our side,”
Xolani says.
It’s his brother’s child, he won’t let her go to public clinicsand
stand long queues. They exchange contacts, they cannot
stress Thabiso’s mother more, it would’ve been better if they
found his father.

Lwethu spends some time privately with the grandmother,

answering a few questions. By God’s
grace it all went well, Thabiso didn’t deny anything, thatgives a
bit relief.
They wait for her in the car, reviewing the wholeencounter.
“Kids really don’t think,” Xolani sighs heavily.
“They’re already struggling and this boy decides to be
irresponsible. Who is going to play his role as a father?”
Nzalo.
Xolani chuckles, “Not just a father role, a mother’s roleas
well. Lwethu has to complete her studies.”
“She has to figure it out,” Nzalo says.
“I don’t think she will, this is why it’s unfair for God to
take mothers. If Thobile was alive she would’ve knownwhat to
do,” – Xolani.
“I know,” Nzalo exhales heavily. Lwethu really fucked up
everyone’s life!
.
.
.

Oh, Zola is home.

This is surprising because she left for work in the morning
and it’s not even 2pm now. She’s in a place shedoesn’t like
that much, cooking. Well, she’s cooked
before but it was only for her and Onathi.
Nzalo greets and gets a response. But it’s cold, he canread
between the lines, she’s going through a lot. She refused to go
with Lwethu, obviously she wouldn’t be
interested in an update. Nzalo gets a drink, Lwethu goesto
the bedroom to take a nap.
A few minutes later they’re watching soccer highlights,Zola
comes in.
The food is ready, she serves Nzalo in hand then takes
another plate to Lwethu’s room. The food looks funny but
he hasn’t eaten anything since his morning meeting.
He eats and then lifts his eyes to his uncle. “Hawu
babomncane, you didn’t get the food?”
“Don’t worry,” Xolani says and attentively watches theTV.
There’s tension and it’s rising. Nzalo leaves as soon ashe
finishes his rice and chicken.

Nothing comes for Xolani, his appetite vanishes, he

heads to the bedroom and freshens up.
Zola comes to the bedroom with a thick book and sits onthe
bed, reading it. She’s never been a reader, Zanele gave her
this copy to keep herself distracted. It’s a goodromance
book, she’s falling in love with the male
protagonist.
“Nokuzola,”
Jeez! She’s in the middle of a scene.
What’s up with this man now?
“I don’t want you to disrespect me in front of the kids,”he
says.
She’s confused because they haven’t talked since hegot
home.
“Okay,” she says and drops her eyes back to the book.
“Nokuzola,” him again.
She exhales gently and looks up.
“Please don’t disrespect me in front of the kids. You can spit
on my face and call me every name under the sun, ifthat’s
what makes you happy kulungile. But don’t do it infront of
people, I may not deserve your respect but I deserve their
respect.”
“I said okay,” she says.
For a minute he looks at her, not even blinking.
“It’s better to say you don’t love me then to do all this,”he
says.
“I don’t love you,” she says.
He nods, slowly. Zola goes back to her book.He
grabs his phone and walks out.

His stomach led him to the kitchen, he ignores Zola’s pots

and warms sausages, then fries frozen chips. He’s angry; his
hands keep shaking, he’s flapping his eyes every now and
then. He always controls his emotions and nobody ever
pushes him off his limits the way Nokuzola does. She doesn’t
just push buttons, she pullsdown the whole switch.
He sets his lunch and sits down.
Zola appears like a ghost, she opens the tap to washher
hands.
She joins him and eats from his plate. His chest starts
pounding. It’s not even about the food, but how she keeps
provoking and disrespecting him.
She’s eating faster than him, he keeps quiet. Lwethu
walks in, bringing her plate to the kitchen.“Hey, here
is the sausage,” Zola offers.
Lwethu smiles politely, “Thanks, I’m full.”“No
problem,” she eats it herself.
Then she gets up and stirs sugar with icy cold water.
Lwethu leaves, he waits until she disappears.
“Nokuzola, I asked you to stop disrespecting me in frontof
the kids,” he says.
“When did I disrespect you?” she asks and starts singing
before he can give a response.
This is it, he can’t handle this anymore. He reported
himself to her family, as quick as he could. He didn’t keep
anything in the dark. He told her nothing but thetruth.
The whole truth!
Thabethe’s phone rings a couple of times before heanswers.
“Thabethe, it’s me,” he’s outside, Zola is in the kitchensinging.
“Hadebe, how can I help you?” Thabethe asks.
“Nokuzola is disrespecting me, from sunrise to sunset. Ihave
talked to her several times, asking her to stop, I have
reached my limit,” he says.
“I don’t know Nokuzola like that. When you asked her togo
out with you, was she disrespectful?” Thabethe asks.
“No,” he says with a deep sigh.
“Then I’m vindicated, I raised a humble daughter and inmy
house she’s never disrespected anyone. I’m not going to
take responsibility for that, you know what youdid for her
to act like that.”
“I’m asking you to talk to her as her father,” he says.
“I’m not going to fight your battles Hadebe, I already didyou a
favor by delivering your scandals to her. If she’s
there she’s your fiance, I will deal with her if shedisrespects
people in my house.”
“Okay,” he should’ve known this would be said.Families
side with those they share blood with.

He walks back in the kitchen, Zola is still sipping her

sugar water, unbothered.
He stands, his eyes burning and blazing with anger.“You have
to stop acting childish,” he says.
“I’m acting my age, Xolani,” she says.
“Deliberately hurting someone who’s not fighting you is not
how people your age act. I’m hurting Nokuzola, and Iknow if
we keep going like this it’s going to take a toll on me. I want to
be able to wake up every morning and go
to work. I have a lot of people depending on me to put
bread on the table,” he says.
“How does this concern your employees?” she asks.“It
doesn’t but if I lose my life right now….”
She breaks into laughter. This is not the direction sheexpected
this to take. Who kills themselves over sausages and fries?
“Please don’t say it will be because of me. I didn’t sendyou
to be a player with a 43 year old heart. Leave the game for
fresh blood, people who are smart, with healthy organs that
won’t collapse anytime shit hits the
fan. That woman is coming for you and everything thatyou
have. She knows everything about you, doesn’t she? You will
support that baby even if it’s not yours, otherwise all your
secrets are out. That’s what going tokill you, not Nokuzola.”
His hand balances on the counter, his jaw twitches.
“I’m the least of your problems Xolani Hadebe, let me sing in
peace and stop bothering my parents. They aremy parents,
not yours.”
He just keeps breathing…

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 102
NOKUZOLA

Xolani asked Nzalo to keep Lwethu for a day, she’s going back
to Mpumalanga on Monday. He doesn’t wanther to know
that he’s not an honest man, he goes around fucking crazy
women irresponsibly. Yes, he sayshe’s always used a condom
with her, but I don’t think if he was careful as he claims he
was, Robyn would be pinning her pregnancy on him. She will
be here any timefrom now and he’s restless. He can’t sit still,
he keeps drinking water and going to the balcony for fresh
air. I hate being in this position, I have never thought of
myself facing my man’s other woman and discussing her
pregnancy.
He walks back in, “I will open for her.”
Well, she’s here. The families and all our close friends already
know that he cheated on me, I’m already the “hecomes back
home to me” woman. I hear her heels clicking and lift my
eyes. Didn’t she say she’s sick? A sick, pregnant woman
wouldn’t wear a pink fur coat and big sunglasses, like she’s
going to Durban July. I feel small, he looks good next to her.
She’s almost his size,
they would have made a good couple, she would’ve
fitted in to those fancy business events with him.
He walks around and sits next to me, holding my hand.She
remains on her feet, chewing a gum.
“You can sit,” he says.
She sits, throwing one leg over the other and carefully
placing her Gucci purse on her lap. Then finally, she
takes off the sunglasses. Only now I notice how worn- out
she actually looks. It looks like she’s seen a coupleof rough
days but her confidence is still high.
“Nokuzola asked to see you,” Xolani says.I
can sense from here, he’s nervous.
Robyn flashes a smile at me, “Baby girl.”
Her tone is undermining, I’m getting irritated but I will
control myself.
“Why didn’t you tell him as soon as you found out thatyou’re
pregnant?” I ask.
“Did you tell him right away?” she asks.
I’m confused. I look at Xolani, was he talking to her
about me?
“I needed to let it sink in and make a decision whether Iwas
getting rid of it or not, and I decided not to,” she says.
“Xolani says it’s not his child, he used a condom,” I say.
“And you still believe everything he says? Didn’t he sayhe
was just a friend to me?”
His hand leaves mine. “Robyn, we used a condom,” hesays,
firmly.
“And I still fell pregnant, probably because of your
intense cuddling after sex,” he says.
I know the intense cuddling, I hate this. I thought he didthat
because he loves me and appreciates me for the good sex,
but it turns out he does it to everyone.
“That’s not true, I took a shower and dressed up. This isnot my
baby, you know what you are doing and I’m disappointed in
you. I have done a lot for you, Robyn.”
That gets to her, she looks away shamefully. Now Iwonder
what he’s done for her.
“Yes, we did what we did, but I considered you a friendand
thought you’d be happy when my dreams start coming true. I
didn’t know you will be the one trying to destroy me.”
Well, it serves him right.
I’m angry about it but also happy that Robyn is now showing
him flames. I was the insecure, dramatic one
when I asked him to draw the line in their so-called
friendship.
“You don’t love me, we both know that. I’d understand ifyou
were an ex-girlfriend but you were nothing,” he says.
“I was nothing?” She’s offended.
“We were friends and we worked together. But I only
liked you for your intelligence and trustworthy. I don’t
want to have a baby with you, if I did I would’ve asked
when we were both single and free,” he says.
“So you don’t want this baby? Is that what you’re
saying?”
He takes a deep breath, “If it’s my baby we will take
responsibility.”
She looks at me, as if she expects me to disagree with
Xolani.
“I heard that you’re sick,” I say.
“Yes, I went to the village to see a traditional doctor.”Oh,
what a surprise!
“You believe in traditional doctors?” I wouldn’t have expected
it, she’s not black and she wasn’t raised in avillage where such
belief is popular.
“No, but a good friend of mine convinced me to go andI’m
feeling a lot better,” she says.
This story lacks spices like my chicken curry. I hope shedidn’t
go there to bewitch Xolani.
“You’re pregnant and visiting traditional doctors?” heasks.
“For my own health,” she says, defensively.
“Why wasn’t I informed about it? You asked for myfinancial
help regarding your health during the
pregnancy and for some reason you didn’t tell me aboutyour
visit to a traditional doctor. Who paid?”
“I paid, I’m not flat broke, and you told me you have toask
her before helping me,” she says.
“Next time you do such thing, let me know first since you
insist that you’re carrying a Hadebe blood,” he says.
“No problem. Are we done?” “No,
I called you here, not him.”She
raises her eyebrow, “Okay.”“I
spoke to Winnie,” I say.
They’re both shocked.
Yes, I called Winnie.
“She’s on her way, hopefully you will remember the name of
the guard you slept with before Xolani. She will then provide
us with his contacts so that he can also testif the baby is not
his. Obviously I don’t like you, but I will always help a fellow
woman, especially if there’s an innocent soul involved,” I say.
“Winnie and I don’t get along, and I don’t want to see
her.” She gets up, her sunglasses fall to the floor, she
almost steps on them.
“She has moved on, sit down,” I say.
“No, I’m not waiting for Winnie.” She’s really runningaway.
Why doesn’t she want Winnie to help her solve the
mystery?
“The gate is locked, sit down,” Xolani says.
She blinks rapidly, her cheeks turn pink immediately.“Are you
holding me hostage now?” she asks.
I stand up and help her sit down, putting her expensive
purse on a safe spot.
“Winnie is a member of this family, she shares a child with
Xolani too, non-biologically. She’s only trying to help, let
me check how far she is.” I felt bad calling heronly because
I needed her help, we haven’t been supporting her with
her case because we have to support Nzalo. So the family
card I’m playing only getsvalid when it suits me.

Well, she’s already here. I haven’t seen her since dinnerbut

Onathi spends time with her from time to time.
“Is the bitch here already?” she asks, walking in.
“Yes, please don’t confront her about the past.” I don’twant
this to turn into something chaotic.
I lead her in, Robyn is back on her feet looking shaken.“Old
friend,” Winnie says.
“Come this side,” I don’t want them to be next to each
other. Robyn is pregnant but I don’t trust her, she lookslike
the type that kicks ass. Winnie is also capable of dark things,
she cannot be trusted.
“Was it William, Sboniso or Mbuzeni?” she asks.
Robyn dear, are you still breathing? She looks scared of
Winnie.
“I don’t have time, which one was it?” Winnie.
Seriously? We are trying to help her here, she needs tosay the
name.
“The first one,” she says.
“William was with me the whole time. Are you sure?
Let’s just call them all.” Winnie takes out her phone andscrolls
down her contacts.
“Xolani!” Robyn screams, holding her belly.And
then???
“Cramps! I’m dying,” she says.
This is ridiculous. Now she’s getting cramps because weare
trying to get hold of the second baby daddy.
Xolani stands up, confused. She starts making noise, it’sgoing
to be hard to make phone calls.
“I need to go to my doctor, now!" she says.
Xolani looks at me, “I will open the gate.”
I feel played, now more than ever I’m convinced that Robyn is
lying about the baby’s paternity. She knows thereal father, it’s
either she wants Xolani’s money or she
wants to destroy our relationship. It could be both, I’mmad.
Winnie gives the phone numbers to me, she couldn’t
keep the guards after MaMkhwanazi got caught, her
lifestyle changed. These men are either unemployed right
now or working for someone else. I don’t think Robyn
would just sleep with a man without protectionand not
have their numbers.

“Should I get you a drink?” I ask Winnie.

“Please, I need it.” She hates Robyn.
Xolani comes back and avoids us. Good for him! “I
guess you trusted her the way I did,” she says. “I
trusted Xolani, not her,” I say.
“Lesson learned, I pray it’s not his, for your sake. She’s a
snake, a very cunning bitter one. You need to contact
Sboniso and Mbuzeni, it’s between them,” she says.
“It’s Xolani’s problem, he will be the one calling them,
thank you very much.” We didn’t agree on this but hetold
me to take lead, and promised to follow.
“How is everything going with you?” I ask.
“I have a court appearance next week, other than that I’m
good,” she says.
“I have been going through a lot, Onathi knows.” I feel
guilty for the lack of communication.
“No problem, deal with what you have to deal with,” she
says.
She stays for half an hour, I make us snacks and we chat,
getting to know each other more. She’s in a relationship,
Musa has not even received her sentenceyet. I guess the
man was already in the picture. Xolani has disappeared, I
walk her out and promise to communicate more. We are
both mother figures to
Onathi, we should communicate anyway.
.
.
.

I look for Xolani and find him hiding in the bedroom. I have
the numbers, he needs to call and find out if any ofthese two
men were informed about the pregnancy.
“Hey,” I sit next to him.
“I didn’t see this gang-up coming.”
“Gang-up?” I’m confused.
“You should have told me that Winnie is coming.”
“Oh that, it was me doing my leader things. I have numbers
here, between these two men one is a possiblebabydaddy,
just like you. You have to call them and ask if they have been
told anything.”
“You want me to call them and say what? Nokuzola udlala
ngami ke manje. If I’m not the father then I have no business
knowing who the father could be,” he says.
“If you are not, will she pay you back all the money you’re
going to help her with until she gives birth?” Robyn is not
working, yet she’s driving a car and carrying Gucci purses
and wearing fur coats. She wantsto be maintained, that’s
why she says she’s sick.
“So I should hunt down every other man she slept with?” he
asks.
“Doesn’t it bother you that you have a child in college, a
pregnant fiance and outstanding lobola to pay, then a
wedding to plan and household to maintain?” I know he has
money but if not spent wisely, his pockets will crack.“You
want to maintain another pregnant woman, knowing very
well that she could be lying?”
“This whole thing stresses me,” he says, lying on hisback
with a heavy sigh.
It serves him right. It’s the consequences of Hluhluwe’s
intense cuddling, I was a fool when I told him to stay away
from Robyn.
“I will call them, I don’t mind.” I take his phone and copy
Mbuzeni’s number first, then call.
It rings unanswered on my first attempt. I try again, he
answers.
“Who is this?” he asks.
Where do I know this voice from?
“My name is Nokuzola Thabethe. Is that Mbuzeni whoworked
for Winnie as a bodyguard?” I ask.
“Zola? Hhayi-bo are you serious?” he asks.
“Yes,” I’m confused.
“I knew this was going to happen one day, it was meantto be.
Where are you? Just say the place and I will be
there.”
“Mbuzeni?” Is this the Mbuzeni I know?
It can’t be. I hate Mbuzeni, why out of all Mbuzenis mustI
call his number? He takes everything as a yes, that I want to
be with him.
Xolani lifts his head, he can hear the conversation andhis
eyes are already blazing with anger.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 103
NALENHLE

Nzalo wants me to visit him and I already used the money he

sent the first time. Some of it, now it’s not enough for me to
go to Tongaat. I miss him but we weretogether not so long
ago. I was allowed to go to Mpumalanga with him for the
whole weekend. ObviouslyI’m going to answer a lot of
questions if I ask to visit him again. This is the only part I hate
about being home,
there’s no freedom.
He calls again, as he promised.
“How did the meeting go?” I ask.
“It went well. What are you busy with?”
“I’m cleaning the yard,” I say.
“Do you ever chill when you’re home? You need to comeand
take a breather in my house for a couple of days. I will give
you good massage and spoil you rotten.”
“Fak’ imali ke,” I say.
“What happened to the money I sent earlier this week?”
“Bank charges,” I say.
“Which bank Nale? Udlala ngami wena, please promiseme
that you will come for real this time,” he says.
“I will come, I promise,” I say.
“If you don’t come I will be showing up.”“Don’t
worry, I will come.”
“I will make a transfer, please send me your recentpictures.”
Oh my goodness, he’s really lonely.“Selfies?” I
ask.
“Any picture of you, I miss you.”
“Okay, I will send them on Whatsapp. I love you, babe.”“I
love you too,” he says.
I feel someone behind me, it’s my aunt. I drop the calland
stand up.
“Please take this money to MaNdlela,” she says, givingme
R50.
“What is it for?” I ask.
“She knows, she will give you something in return," she says.
MaNdlela has a new daughter-in-law, I’m sure she’s selling
something to help her son pay for the damages. Itake the
money and charge my phone, then make my way there.
I hope the new makoti is still there, I need to figure outwhy
she was so weird when she heard my name. It’s abit distant
from my uncle’s house, over five minutes walking distance.

But I make it quicker, I’m in a rush. There were no dogshere

the last time I checked. I just enter the yard and ask a child
playing in the yard where to find his grandmother. It’s quiet,
I think the makoti left with Mbuzeni. What a miss!
I walk in, MaNdlela is busy washing dishes. She smileswhen
I walk in.
“Nalenhle, I haven’t seen you in a long time. Why didyou
quit your job?”
Jeez! Can’t she give me a chair first?
“Sawubona ma,” I say.
“Yebo. I heard that you quit your job, in such economy!You’re
very spoilt,” she says.
“You also spoil Mbuzeni,” I say with a chuckle, to make it
sound like I’m joking. She raised a horrible son and supported
his bad behavior, that’s also spoiling.
“Mbuzeni who is bringing me a grandchild?” She smilesto
herself.
“I saw his girlfriend, she’s very beautiful,” I say.“He
chose well, Roby is beautiful,” she says.
“Oh, her name is Roby?” I don’t know why I’m thinking about
Mr X’s Robyn, she wouldn’t move from someonelike Mr X to
Mbuzeni.
“A very humble girl, I’m blessed,” she says.
“How did they meet?” I’m very curious.
“He worked for her friend and she fell in love with him.
Women love men who can protect them and you can see
Mbuzeni is a man amongst men.”
“Not a man that can provide?” I ask.
“Mbuzeni can provide, he’s just going through a roughpatch.
And I’m helping him, where is the money?”
I did say she’s trying to help them.
She fetches a black plastic bag and gives me a wrappedparcel.
“Don’t open it and don’t give her in front of your uncle,”
she says.
“Okay ma, don’t worry,” I say goodbye and leave.

I don’t know what I want to know more between this

parcel and Mbuzeni’s Roby. Okay, the parcel can gofirst.
I stand behind a tree before I get home and unwrap it.
What’s all these big sweets with Chinese writings? I check
the bottle with pink powder, there’s a small plasticpacket
with a different powder as well.
Oh, a paper with written instructions as well.
Wash what with the powder in a small packet? Isn’t shescared
of cancer?
Jesus Christ, these village women.
This is a sexual enhancing package and aunty spent R100 on
it. No wonder my uncle can’t get enough, she’susing
MaNdlela’s package on him.
I wrap it back the way MaNdlela wrapped it and proceed
home.

Now I look at my aunt differently. She really gives it tomy

uncle. I hope there’s no possibility for her to fall pregnant,
that would be embarrassing. I give her the parcel and
pretend as if I don’t know anything.
Zola has been calling me, I have multiple missed calls.I call
her back, I have some hot tea to share with her. “Why
don’t you answer your phone?” she asks.
“I was on an errand. When was the last time you heardfrom
Robyn?”
“Today. When you saw Mbuzeni, how did the lady hewas
with look like?”
“Tall and curvy. Her name is Roby, that’s why I’m asking.I
know it’s far-fetched but what if it’s Mr X’s Robyn?”
“It’s not "his" Robyn, I can’t believe this,” she says.“What do
you mean?” I ask.
“It’s Robyn, she slept with Mbuzeni in Hluhluwe. Not just
once, but a couple of times. Yet she was here saying it’s
Xolani’s baby,” she says.
“Are you sure? I just saw Mbuzeni’s mother and she’s over
the moon. Her daughter-in-law, Roby, is having a baby with
Mbuzeni and she’s selling sexual enhancing powders and
sweets to help Mbuzeni support her.”
She laughs out loud. “Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m serious. No wonder she looked so
uncomfortable when she heard my name, she must
have remembered it from Mr X,” I say.
“This just got interesting. She didn’t know I come from the
same village as Mbuzeni. If she knew she would’ve
stayed away and kept that relationship hidden. I’m goingto
make sure that he makes her regret ever messing
with him.”
“I want to visit,” I say.
She laughs, “Didn’t you say you’re too busy?”
“But I will miss out on the drama. Call Mbuzeni, put him in
the same room with Mr X, and then tell him to call her over.
Let’s see who she points the pregnancy to.”
“That’s exactly what I’m planning. Poor MaNdlela, does
Robyn know how famous she’s going to be when
MaNdlela finds out that she’s calling another man thebaby’s
father?”
“It’s going to be scandalous, she’s already told the whole
village that her daughter-in-law is white.” Jesus, I’ve never
been so confused. Do I stay in the village for MaNdlela’s
drama or go to Tongaat for their version of
this drama? No,
I’m staying.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

Xolani played me, he made me feel stupid and insecure for

thinking something was going on between him and Robyn. I
remember when he called her and they both denied
everything. See who is Robyn’s fool now? I laughat every small
joke on TV, I’m so happy.
Mbuzeni keeps calling his phone and asking for me, thatdrives
him crazy. But there’s nothing he can do about it because
Mbuzeni is seeking for the truth, just like him.
And I’m the one he can talk to because he knows me.He
walks in, “Your call.”
Mbuzeni did say he will call me again after speaking tohis
family.
I take it and put him on loudspeaker.
“Hey Mbu,” I say.
Xolani shoots a dirty look. It’s how we shorten his namein the
village.
“Roby is coming to my place, I don’t know what to think,”he
says.
“Really? We can come over right now, let her tell thetruth
once and for all.”
“I’m not going,” Xolani says.
I close the phone’s speaker. “And then?”
“I’m not going, I have the confirmation that I needed,” he
says.
Pheeww!
I remove my hand from the speaker. “Please send youraddress
Mbuzeni, we will come.”
“Okay, I will send it. Yazi I should’ve pursued you instead,
you wouldn’t have disappointed me like this,”he’s starting
again.
“No, be happy where you are,” I say.
“I’d be more happy with you. Can I see you when you...”
The phone is snatched and call dropped. It’s the sour,old
man.
“I will block this number,” he says.
“Why? Robyn still owes us the truth.”
“I know that I’m not the father, there’s a family waiting fora
grandchild. I’m old Nokuzola, I don’t have time for games.”
Now he’s pulling the age card because he looksstupid in all
this.
“Unfortunately you were not the only one affected bythis, so
I need closure,” I say.
“Go and find it, I’m not going,” he says.
“Okay, no problem. Don’t block him until he sends methe
address.”
“You’re not going to his house,” he says. “I’m
not going?” I need him to rephrase that.
“You’re not going Nokuzola. I will deal with this my way,"he
says.
“Oh now it’s your way, didn’t you say that you’re going to
follow every instruction I make?”
“It doesn’t mean make me look spineless in front of yourold
flames. This is a Hadebe matter, not your village matter,” he
says.
“You’re so sour! Mbuzeni is also a victim, you’re bothvictims.”
“Victims?” He doesn’t like the word but it fits.
“Yes, maybe you need to create a Whatsapp supportgroup as
Robyn survivors.”
He gets off the couch and leaves.
“Xolani,” I call him.
He stops, “What?”
“I’m taking us out since you don’t want me to go to
Mbuzeni’s house.”
“I don’t feel like going out,” he says.
“But you are coming with me.” I also listen to him whenhe
tells me to do or not do something.
I’m not going to Mbuzeni’s house, so we are going out to
celebrate his misfortune.
.
.
. MBUZENI

He’s devastated, he just went home with Roby to

introduce her to his mother. The whole family loves herand
expects a beautiful baby. Is it even his baby?
She arrives, walking high on her stilettos. Their first sexual
encounter was on his request in exchange of a favor. She
liked it and kept contact, coming back for more until a spark
developed between the two of them.
He still opens his arms and hugs her despite beingangry at
her.
“Are you alright?” she asks.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” he says.
She smiles and pulls his beard playfully. “Then what’swith
the long face? I brought us prawns and wine.”
“Roby we need to talk about this,” he says.
“What is this?” She walks in, hurrying to feed her
expensive cravings.
“The baby. Are you sure it’s mine? I don’t want to keepgetting
calls from people telling me you’re also telling
them the baby is theirs.”
“Xolani, right?” She rolls her eyes.
“So you know him?” He’s disappointed.
“Yeah, he’s annoying, don’t mind him.”
“But he’s engaged to a girl from my village, I’m sure this is all
over the place right now. Why do they keep calling you a
liar?”
“What girl?” she asks.
“Nokuzola. Remember the girl we met with a bundle of
firewoods, that was her cousin,” he says.
“I knew it! Something sounded familiar. So they’re ruining
my name now?” She doesn’t even want theseprawns
anymore. Xolani is the last person to ruin hername, the
last!
Her phone rings, it’s the devil.
“Let me take his call,” she walks away.
Mbuzeni sighs heavily. Is this how it’s like falling for acity
woman? Nobody has ever treated him like this.
Robyn answers the call in the bathroom.
“Why are you ruining my name?”
“Are you fuckin’ crazy? You almost destroyed my familywith
your lies. You know who the father is, you’ve visitedhis family
and reported the pregnancy. What do you want from me?
Money?”
“Yes,” she says.
“After you tried to destroy my family twice?”
“I have done a lot for you. Or you need me to remindyou
and call your nephews to talk about it?”
“Robyn!” his tone sends a warning.
“They can ask me what happened to their father within a
couple of weeks.”
“Let’s meet and talk,” he says. “I’m
coming with my babydaddy.”“No,
just the two of us, please.”

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 104
NOKUZOLA

I dragged him out and we had dinner, he wasn’t comfortable

and I enjoyed it. It felt good seeing him being tormented by
the consequences of his actions. Iknow what got him mad
the most is the fact that we
fought hard over it and it turned out to be untrue. So it
was all for nothing, Robyn just turned his world upside for
absolute no reason.
We went to bed together, then he got an emergency call
from the pub. I don’t know what was happening, maybe
drunk people were fighting even though that never need
him, he hurriedly left towards midnight.
He’s only coming back now, I’m too horny to ask questions.
This whole week has been us against eachother, we didn’t
even sleep facing the same direction. Imiss his touch and his
sweat dropping down on me.
“Hey,” I say, fixing the pillow for him.
He kisses my forehead, then takes off his pants and T-shirt.
“Sorry I’m only coming home now,” he says.
“What took so long?” I ask.
“How did you sleep?” he asks, without answering myquestion.
He knows better than this, once I start getting funny
ideas it will go down hill, I’m in a very good mood.
I look at him, his eyes run away from me.
Something is going on.
“Uphumaphi? Where were you?” I sit up.
He’s not messing with me again. He’s not lying to meagain, I
refuse!
“I went to work,” he says.
“No, you didn’t, otherwise you would’ve answered my
first question.”
He exhales heavily and pulls me down to sleep on hisarm.
Then he kisses my cheek. “You and I are okay, right?”
“We are,” I say.
“Then please sthandwa sami, don’t shout at me. I’m coming
from the pub, there was a fight, someone almostdied. I had
to go to the hospital, police station and to thefamily,” he
says.
“You could’ve just told me so and I wasn’t shouting, I only sat
up because I felt like you were hiding somethingfrom me. We
agreed that there will be no more secrets between us.”
“I know, I’m just tired, ngiyaxolisa,” he says.“No
problem.” I turn and kiss his lips.
His eyes are very dark, not in color, they just look dark and
heavy. Maybe it’s the stress and lack of sleep. I kisshis lips
again.
“I miss you,” I say.
He smiles, “Kiss me again.”
I kiss him but I want more than just kisses. I lower my hand
into his boxers, he finches and stops me. Shockedis the
word.
“Xolani?” I can’t believe he’s stopping me.“I’m
tired mama,” he says.
“You’re tired?” I don’t feel good when he turns down my
sexual advances, it takes me back to how things
unfolded the first time he did.
“Do you want me to help you?” he asks.
“I want you to make love to me, not help me.”
“I’m sorry,” he pulls me for a hug.
I push him, my eyes are already burning with tears.“Did
you cheat on me again?” I ask.
“Nokuzola! No, I said I will never do such thing again.
I’m just tired, I had a long night, I need to rest a bit andthen
when I wake up…”
“Never mind,” I get off the bed.

It’s Sunday, I have a lot to do around the house since

the helper won’t be around. I’m not going to beg him for
sex.
“I love you, Nokuzola,” he says.I
ignore him and put a robe on.
“Nokuzola,” he calls.
“I heard you, Xolani.”“Look
at me, please.”
I release a sigh, because I have to stay calm, then I lookat
him.
“Come and kiss me,” he says.
I don’t know what patience game this is, he knows very well
that I’m irritated at the moment. But I go to him and kiss his
lips.
“I want this to be a warm home for our children, and by
that I’m including my brother’s children as well. I want this
anger gone and I want you to be a woman of this
house. A warm mother they’re going to be happy to visitand
be around.”
“But you make me cold, Xolani.” I don’t just wake up and
decide to be cold.
“I’m trying to be a good man, learning from my mistakes and
focusing on my family. Things will come up from the past and
I will try to correct them the best way that I can. What I need
from you is support and understanding.”
“Okay,” I nod.
“Can I take a nap, ungang’dinelwe?”
“It’s fine, take your nap.”
“Kiss?”
I smile and kiss his lips.“I
love you,” he says.
.
.
.

He’s been sleeping for hours, it’s getting lonely for me. Ihave
made us food but ate alone because he’s not awake, now
I’m eating for the second time. I miss Lwethu, she hasn’t
come back from Nzalo’s house, I guess he finally forgave her
and they’re getting along.
My phone rings and it’s Nale. I have given up onbegging
her to come and visit me.
“Stranger,” I answer.
“Please tell me you’re sitting down,” she says.
“Lying on the couch, what’s the latest?” I know she’sbringing
me new village tea.
There’s always something going on that side, they’retheir
own entertainment.
“I don’t know if you’ve heard about Mbuzeni and Robyn,”she
says.
“I gave you that tea mos.” How can she tell me the newsI
broke to her first.
“They’re both dead,” she says.
“Huh?” I sit up straight, my chest is pounding.
Dead? I spoke to Mbuzeni yesterday afternoon. “It’s
sad, he killed her and then turned the gun on
himself. MaNdlela is losing it, your mom just went there with
other women.” She’s serious, I know Nale will neverjoke
about death.
“I’m confused. When did all this happen?” I ask.
“Last night, at his house in Waterloo. MaNdlela got a callthis
morning from his neighbors. I didn’t think it would get this
far, it’s not like he was with Robyn when she slept with Mr
X.”
“I’m confused, when we talked he didn’t even sound angry.” I
don’t know what to think. Did I drive him to it byconstantly
feeding him information about Robyn?
“Maybe they argued about it and he got angry. Remember
he was stabbing people here in the village,one guy almost
lost his life,” I say.
“I remember, but a pregnant woman?” There’s a knot inmy
stomach, I feel responsible, like I played a huge partin her
demise. My heart is with her, not Mbuzeni who decided to
end his life. I’m sure Robyn wanted to meet her child,
confused as she was, and she still wanted to live. Regardless
of how I felt about her, she was someone’s daughter.
“Mbuzeni could’ve just waited for the birth and kept his
distance instead of killing her,” I say.
“Exactly what we’ve been saying, it’s so unfair. But ke
you’re free and so is Mr X. Where is he? I want to say hi,”
she asks.
“He’s taking a nap,” I say.
“During the day? Is he the pregnant one?”
“He had a rough night, you know how his customers geton
weekends.”
“Oh yes, pass my regards to him.”
.
.
.
I take a walk in the backyard, my head is pounding. I’m
trying my best not to overthink. It’s what Mbuzeni’s
neighbors say it was. And the police got there, right?
They would’ve known if there was a third hand. And
beside, Xolani would never commit such horrific crime.
Robyn hadn’t gotten a cent from him, it’s likely to be
Mbuzeni acting out of anger. And knowing how he waslike
back home, I wouldn’t put it past him.
Shit, Winnie.
I need to update her, maybe she hasn’t heard. I stand against
the door and scroll down to her number. Before Ipress the call
button, hands grab my waist.
He kisses my neck, “I’m awake.”
How did I not hear him coming?
I’m a bit startled, as if he can read what I’ve been
thinking about him.
“I was about to call Winnie,” I say.
“You will call her later, come here.” He lifts me up, swiftlyI
almost lose my breath.
I wrap my arms around him, he takes me to the lounge
couch.
We kiss; he grabs my face and deeply kisses me.
I get a chance to breathe and exhale enormously.“Xolani!”
“Yes mama,” he lifts my skirt, chasing my lips to kiss meagain.
My panty shifts to the side, his fingers rubs my mound.
“Have you calmed down?” he asks in a low whisper.“I
did, a long time ago,” I say.
“Show me,” he pulls off his T-shirt and rests back on thecouch
next to me with his boxers lowered.
Really? I was in the mood in the morning, not now.“Woza,” he
pulls out his arm.
I take my panty off and sit on his lap. We kiss again, hishand
slides under my skirt to my uncovered ass. His erection rubs
against me, I can feel the vein pulsating.
“Xolani, something horrible happened,” I say.He
stops, “With you?”
“No, not with me but…”
“If it’s not about you, I don’t care.” He grabs my face andkisses
me again. My legs are spread on his lap, his
finger enters my cookie jar. He doesn’t know howimportant
this is.
I try talking to him again but he’s busy, not giving me achance.
“Sit on it,” he says, pulling out his fingers wet.
I lift my skirt up and position myself on it, then smoothlygo
down until every inch is buried inside me. He holds my belly
while I move up and down on him. He’s enjoying, every
facial expression he makes evidently shows it.
I want to keep going until we both reach our orgasms but
my waist can no longer take it. He takes his turn; heputs me
down on my back and spreads my legs to the sides, then
bounces in my cookie.
We wet the couch, his load fills me up and spills down. My
thighs are sticky when we are done, I want to clean myself
but I’m wrapped in his sweaty arms.
“I never thought I’d ever be this happy in my life,” he
says, lightly pecking me on the neck.
“You are happy?” I ask.
“With you? Kakhulu makoti, I wouldn’t be anywhere inthe
world except here,” he says.
“That makes me happy.” Nothing will ever make more
sense than me being with him.
It hasn’t been harmonious, we’ve had many downs thanups,
but still, my heart beats for him. He moves to the side but
keeps his hand on me.
“What did you want to tell me?” he asks.
Now doesn’t look like the perfect time. We just had sex,
confirmed our feelings to one another and reconnected, I’m
not announcing death right after it. He will find out, I know
he’s going to find a couple of missed calls.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
Mbuzeni’s death is the latest topic in the village. I don’tknow
if it’s MaNdlela spreading it to justify her son’s actions,
everyone knows that Robyn was clearing on him and
Mbuzeni found out that the baby wasn’t his, hence ended
their lives. Not just the two of them but
three, there was an innocent soul growing inside her. Myaunt
keeps going to see her and bringing back the mattress tea.
What they don’t know, and I pray they never do, is that Mr X
was the other man. I don’t know why Robyn had to end up
with a man in our village, everything keeps unfolding in a way
nobody could’ve ever predicted.
Thami walks in, aunty is still updating us about the
funeral arrangements.
“Whose car is parked on the road?” he asks.
“Which road?” We are all confused. “Outside,
the black one,” he says.
I hope it’s not who I think it is because he didn’t tell me
anything. I check my phone, there’s no message from him.
“Who is it?” malume asks, looking at me.“I
don’t know,” I shrug.
He stands up and takes his knobkirrie, then walks out. My
uncle has anger problems, you’d swear he doesn’t get it
with artificial warmth at night. I walk behind him, I don’t
want him to hurt that person, whoever it is in that
black car I’ve rode a couple of times, I don’t want my
uncle to end up in jail.
“Where are you going?” He turns back to me.“I
want to see who it is,” I say.
The door opens and we both see who it is. I have beentold
to tell him not to come around anymore. His uncle also got
the message. But here he is, looking clueless.
“It’s you again,” my uncle is now tired of repeatinghimself.
“Hello malume,” he says.
“What are you here for this time?”
“Nalenhle has been scamming me, malume.”
Seriously? It was only twice, that doesn’t make it a
scam.
My uncle looks at me. “What did you do?”
“It’s a misunderstanding,” I say.
“I’m tired of you two, you can’t do your thing without
annoying everyone.” He turns, putting the knobkirrie
over his shoulders.
“I saw this one on the road and recognize him,” Nzalo
says.
We are both confused. Who is him? And why is heopening the
back door?
Dennis???
What was he doing on the road? He hasn’t been feelingwell.
Oh, he’s one of my uncle’s goats and he’s on his father’sarms
right now.
“Thank you. Didn’t he mess the car?” he asks.
Nzalo smiles, “Not at all, he’s well-behaved.”
“They all are, let me go and check his leg.” His anger is gone,
he no longer cares about Nzalo’s parking spot andme getting
in his car.
“Now say the truth, I know you don’t know his goats,” Isay.
“Thami helped me, I have to do something to earn a
place in his heart.”
I knew it! This is a staged heroic act.
“So when is tomorrow in your calendar?”
Jesus Christ!
“I’m sorry,” I laugh.
He smiles, shaking his head hopelessly.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 105
NOKUZOLA

It’s my first week in the maternity leave, Dr Zondo’s wife,

Mbalenhle, reached out. This was supposed to be two
women of different ages trying to form a friendship; getting to
know each other a bit more and of course
gossiping about two friends that we chose to partner up
with for life. Not a crazy shopping spree. I know there’s no
better way for women to spend time together than togo out
shopping. But no, I’m getting scared.
She takes a pair of boots that costs close to R4000 andthrows
them in my shopping trolley. She’s already mademe buy a
scarf for R1200, a fuckin' scarf! With her own shopping she
doesn’t even look at the prices.
“This card is going to decline now,” I say. “Hadebe’s
card declining? Don’t undermine my
husband’s friend like that.” She’s taking me to the bag
aisle. Ugly bags with ridiculous prices. If this card doesn’t
decline Xolani will be definitely calling to askwhat I’m
doing. His notifications have been rolling insince we got
here.
I choose a purse smaller than every other purse. Thencheck
the price, nope I’m not doing this. This is crazy.

We get to the cash register and my bill is close to what he

paid to my father for each cow. I’m holding my breathas I
make payment, I expect my phone to ring at anytime. But it
doesn’t, maybe he’s busy, he hasn’t
noticed all these transactions happening. We are done
shopping, finally the shopaholic with me is satisfied. Wehead
to Ocean Basket for lunch. I’m heavily pregnant, we still have
to drive back to Tongaat and I have to packmy bags for my
trip to the village ttomorrow.
I haven’t met her kids yet, I know she has three and thefirst
one is already in Grade 5.
“I need to host something so that I can meet the kids,
maybe lunch with friends,” I say.
“Don’t worry, you will meet them and you will want to have
your life back after they get used to you because Iwill be
bringing them for sleepovers every week,” she says.
“I love kids, I won’t mind,” I say.
“Let’s give it a couple of years, wait until the Hadebe
princess is 3.” They all think it’s going to be a girl, I wantis to
be a surprise but Xolani has already told everyone in his
circle that he’s becoming a girl dad again. He didn’t
experience it with Onathi, so that dream of his is still alive.
“In 3 years she’ll have a sibling, according to Hadebe,” Isay.
“Aren’t they all like that? Take him to the delivery roomwith
you, he will think twice.”
“Isn’t that embarrassing?” I have talked about it with him,
obviously it’s not how I was raised, where I come from a man
doesn’t see his baby until they’re at least two
months old. But Xolani wants to be with me when I
deliver; he wants to experience every step of this
journey.
“He knows your private part from every angle, what’s
embarrassing?” She’s obviously very comfortable with
Zondo, they’ve been together for years and gone
through multiple child births.
“I still get shy around him sometimes,” I say.
She laughs, “Are you serious? He eats from the palm ofyour
hand. Do you know how highly he speaks of you?”
“I know, but it doesn’t mean I can do anything in front ofhim. I
still want to look perfect all the time when I’m withhim.” Well,
that is until he makes me angry, then I walk with one shoe on
and unkempt hair, in my robe shoutinglike a mad woman.
“Young love!” she shakes her head.
Then we look at each, young love? Then we burst into
laughter.
I like her, she has my level of sense of humor.
.
.
.

We make an ice-cream stop then head back to Tongaat.She

drops me outside, I’m dragging myself inside with heavy
shopping bags. Xolani is home, he’s minimized his work
hours to spend more time home.
“I can explain,” I say walking through the door.He
looks at me, expressionless.
My bags scatter on the floor, I’m panting heavily fromthat
short walk. I catch my breath first, then explain. “Mbalenhle
made me do it.”
He frowns, “Do what? Do you need a drink?”
“No, I’m fine. Are you mad?” I ask.
“Mad about what?” He’s confused.
“Didn’t you get the bank notifications?” I’m expecting a
confrontation and financial lesson, but he looks unbothered
and rather confused by the fuss I’m makingabout it.
“I knew you went out shopping and I know that women
want everything. I expected you to call me to increase my
limit but you never did,” he says.
“Seriously?” Now I want to go back and shop more.
“Show me what you got,” he’s not even interested intalking
about it.
Mbalenhle was right, I need to let it sink in. He has money,
lots of it, and I have to upgrade my mentality andlive this new
lifestyle comfortably.
I’m too big for some of the clothes, I knew I’d have to
wait until I give birth and lose weight before I fit into
them. But I cry, how did I become this whale?
“They will fit you sthandwa sami,” he says, failing to
close a dress’ zip.
“When Xolani?” I wouldn’t look like this if it wasn’t forhim.
He exhales heavily, “It’s only two more months and youwill be
beautiful again.”
Excuse me? No,
excuse him.
“You’re beautiful even now, what I mean is…”
I push his hands off me and take the stupid dress of.Wait, am
I hearing a laugh?
I turn around, he pretends to fix his watch.
Deep breath! Only two more months and it will be over.
.
.
.

I’m going home for my aunt’s ceremony happening in

three days. I could’ve gone earlier but I wasn’t going tobe
good use anyway. I can’t help with water, I’m too pregnant
to fill big water drums and collect firewood.
Nale wasn’t alone, neighbors are helping out and I sent
money for the water truck hire.
Xolani walks in, I just finished packing.
“I don’t know who’s going to come with Onathi? Lwethu
can’t go in her condition. I thought Msindisi would come but
something has come up,” he says, looking worried.
Some people from the Hadebes have to show up, normally
with a case of cold drinks, maybe a bucket of
scones as well. It’s how in-laws support each otherduring
family ceremonies.
“What’s keeping Msindisi in Northern Cape?” I’mconfused, he
left and never looked back.
He hasn’t visited home, not even for the weekend.
“I don’t know, ever since he linked up with Jamal he’sbeen
hard to get,” he says.
“Jamal, your friend?” I’ve heard the name. “Yes,
the one I asked to help him get settled in.”
“Oh, maybe he found a girlfriend that side, who knows?”
“Then he must come with her and introduce her to us. We
accept everyone, as long as she’s going to give himkids and
grow this family,” he says.
“He will, give him time. Maybe you can call Winnie andask
if she can come with Onathi.” Winnie wasn’t charged, she
had good lawyers that he had to find, forOnathi’s sake.
Nzalo doesn’t know, I don’t know if he’dbe happy if he
found out.
“Bad idea,” he says.
“You’re right, Nzalo will probably be there, there will be
unnecessary tension.” Maybe Onathi should just comewith
her friends, this is not a big family, he won’t find anyone
else.
“Wena, when are you coming back home?” he asks.
Lobola was concluded but I’m still a Thabethe, that’swhere
home is until my dad hands me over the
traditional way.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Tuesday?” he says.
“So you think four days is enough?”
“You’re pregnant, there’s no medical center around the village
in case of an emergency. If it was up to me you’dcome back
Sunday,” he says.
“Well, it’s not up to you, I will come back Tuesday.”He
exhales heavily, “Okay.”
“Take care of yourself, don’t mess around.”
“Am I a child now?” he chuckles.
“Sometimes you act like one.” Things have been okay
between us, we moved on from the Robyn turmoil. Her
death shook me, not him, but I realized that I wasn’t
counting my blessings and started embracing God’s plans.
It was a confirmed murder and suicide case, no other
controversies flew around, families made peace with it.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

My mother was unmarried so a goat should’ve been

slaughtered instead of a cow. But she lived her whole
life feeling small and incomplete, her brother insisted ona
cow. It’s an ibhayi ceremony, there will be no
celebrations, just a gathering of relatives and village toeat
harmoniously. I’ve had so much to do the whole week, I
don’t want anything to go wrong.
I’m coming back from the shop, aunty needed more yeast
for the traditional mahewu she’s making. Nzalo comes here,
he’s come three times this week and parked in the yard.
Thami allocated him a parking spot. He’s been really
supportive this time around. He’s neverbeen given
permission to be inside the yard, let alone
the house. But he’s my uncle’s assistant by default, he’s been
driving us to most errands and helping him with heavy chores
around the yard. Obviously it’s very rare tofind a situation like
this, a boyfriend so involved in the preparations of his in-
laws’ ceremony, I’m sure gossips are already going around.
But I appreciate him, this makes up for his absence when my
mother died.

Oh, the rich housewife of Tongaat has arrived. I see her car
and my mood instantly improves. I miss her, we still talk but
now we are apart. I don’t think we’ll ever live
together again and that makes me sad.
“Heeey!” she screams when she sees me.
“You’re huge,” I haven’t seen her recently, she’s doubleher
size.
“Don’t bodyshame me, come here.” She leads me to the
bedroom.
I dump the yeast on my aunt’s lap and hurry up.Yeses,
these are the bags she carries now?
“I bought something for you,” she says.
Talk about gifts, see my gums all out!
It’s a pair of branded sneakers. New from the box. I lovethem!
“Thank you.” I try them on right away; they fit perfectly.
“Xolani sent his regards,” she says.
“He hasn’t he retired?” I ask.
“Ask his son, you moved him in to your uncle’s house,”she
says.
I laugh because I started her. Nzalo has never slept overand he
never will.
“I’m looking for a new job after this. I think I’m
emotionally ready to face the world again,” I tell her, the only
thing I’ve been waiting for is my mother’s ceremony.
“Where?” she asks.
I shrug, “I don’t know, I will talk to Nzalo as well.”
“So you will work with your boyfriend as a boss? You willmix
business with pleasure all because you’re avoiding my
opinion?” she asks.
“I’m not scared of your opinion.” Well, I am, just a littlebit.
“I think you need a better way to handle your emotions, a
way that doesn’t involve running home and quitting
everything. It’s not normal, you left your job and I was
offended, you know why. But I’d rather talk to Xolani and
have him find a job for you than you working for Nzalo. Ijust
don’t see it ending well.”
“That’s fine too, I’m okay with any job,” I say.“Give
him a week or two,” she says.
She got me my first job as well, so I understand she’s not
happy. Hopefully the job I get now will suit my personality
and I will be happy, always looking forwardto it.

Aunty calls us to the kitchen, a couple of village women just

came to check if we need help and now we have to make
them tea.
There’s a Ngcobo woman who never comes out foranything,
I’m very surprised to see her here.
“I thought you were the pregnant one,” she says to me.“Oh
no, never.” Holy ghost, fireeee!
She laughs, then looks at Zola. “It’s a boy, how far areyou?”
“7 months,” she says.
“You need to wear something around your waist. Haveyou lost
a baby before?”
We are confused and shocked. What kind of question isthis?
“No,” Zola shakes her head.
“And the father?”
“Not that I know of.”
“There’s a late sibling who never made it, his soul hovers
over your baby. Talk to him, maybe somethinghappened and
he never paid respect to the little one’ssoul. Congratulations
by the way, we see your father’snew livestock,” she smiles
and walks away.
I don’t think Zola knows anything or even understandwhat’s
going on.
“Mr X lost a baby?” I ask.
“With who?” she asks me.
“Ask him before it’s too late.”
She’s close to giving birth, I don’t know why I believe the
Ngcobo woman when she says it’s a boy, I don’t want
anything happening to my nephew. Mr X has some secrets to
spill out, hopefully it’s something that happened before Zola.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 106
NOKUZOLA

I didn’t want to have a baby when we found out I was

pregnant. I was crying, threatening Xolani with abortion and
confused. It was one of the worst periods of my life.
Well, my whole first trimester was. I was going throughtough
times.
But now I’ve embraced my baby, I’m looking forward to
motherhood. I have already bought unisex clothes and ababy
stroller that I push around with a pack of diapers inside, just
to practice. I want to meet my baby, and I will.
Dad is busy in the kraal, the cow has been tied up,
people are arriving for the slaughtering.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
I know my dad will find me help sooner, he’s friends with
Khanyile.
“I’m busy Nokuzola,” he says.
“It’s an emergency,” I say. “Give
me a minute,” he says.
I return back to my bedroom, I haven’t talked to Xolani
about it, I don't want him to panic before I confirm this
with Khanyile.

Dad walks in with his overalls folded, he’s really busy.

Whenever he’s hosting something he wants everythingto be
perfect.
“What’s urgent?” he asks.
“You know the Ngcobo aunt who wears a white doek? She
told me that I need to wear something around my waist or
something might happen to my baby,” I say.
“Why? Are you feeling sick?” he asks.
“No, I’m not sick. She talked about a sibling’s soul hovering
over him. Do you think Khanyile can make something for me?”
I’m scared, I don’t take this lightly.
“Yes, but not today or tomorrow, you can see that I have
guests to host,” he says.
“So guests are important than your grandchild,
Thabethe?” This is exactly what I don’t like, he puts
everything above me. Anything could happen if I don’tget
whatever waist thing is needed and he cares moreabout
his guests.
“I’m not doing this right now, Nokuzola. Have you spoken to
Hadebe? Because he should be the one looking for help,
these are the Hadebe souls,” he says.
“When will he get here? Xolani isn’t informed about
these things also, as long as everything is fine medicallyhe’s
okay,” I say.
“He’s black and he has a family, being a head of the
house starts now. I will go to Khanyile when this
ceremony I’m doing is completed, if you want it done
immediately then call him.”
I didn’t expect this. I thought he’d react swiftly but as
usual, he’s got other things to do that are more
important than my life and the one I’m carrying.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
Our family dynamics will always include Zola and her dad
arguing, and a flood of tears. I walk in to her room,she’s
crying on the bed. I don’t know what led to this.
“What happened?” I ask, sitting next to her.“He
doesn’t care,” she’s sobbing.
“Care about what?” I ask.
“That my baby could be in danger. I asked him to go to
Khanyile, he refused and said he will go after the ceremony or
I should ask Xolani to go,” she says
“Yoh, askies!” I don’t know which side to take. He is busy,
that’s not a lie. He’s invited people to come and help him
slaughter the cow, he can’t leave them alone.He’s the head
of this family, they will need his instructions every step of
the way.
“He can’t put me first for once,” she cries.
Their relationship is very tricky. I think she’s in her “me” era,
obviously Mr X led her to it, to him it’s her before everyone,
now she wants her dad to do the same. Fine, he hasn’t been
putting her first almost her whole life because of this family’s
dynamics, now she wants him tobe her hero.
“Please wait until the ceremony is over,” I say, I
understand he can’t put everything on hold because of
what a Ngcobo woman said.
“I have always allowed you and aunty to go first. Now
even my baby has to go through the same struggles I went
through.” She’s now taking it too far.
I mean way too far. My mom is late and she suffered herwhole
life.
“Don’t include my mom in this,” I say.
“I’m not saying it’s her fault, you don’t understandbecause….”
“No Zola, I understand how you feel and stuff, but youcan’t
talk about my mom. Let her rest, you could’ve expressed your
feelings any day, not wait until
something is done in her honor.” I’m pissed off, not solong
ago I was happy to see her, but it turns out she's now Mr
X’s spoilt brat.
I leave her crying, I have chores to complete. What hasmy
mom got to do with the Hadebe roaming souls?
She couldn’t speak for herself but she left a daughter, Iwill be
her voice from now onwards.
.
.
.
SKHUNDLA THABETHE

He had a long day, it’s around 11pm when he finally goes to

bed. He bathed with cold water outside the yard,he finds his
wife awake. He’s surprised, he thought she’d be long asleep.
He kisses her cheek, “You waited for me.”“Yes,
we need to talk,” she says.
He frowns, the look on her face is unsettling. Did he do
something wrong?
“Nokuzola is not happy,” she says.
He heaves a long sigh, “Is it about me not going to
Khanyile?”
“Yes. Thabethe you have to understand this is her first baby,
she’s scared. The fact that she came to you beforeme shows
that she believes in dad’s super powers like most girls do.”
“But I told her I will go, the problem is that she wanted me to
leave everything I was doing and go today. I had people who
came to help me, if she wanted things done on her terms she
could’ve called Hadebe because this isa Hadebe issue
anyway.”
“Nokuzola is still a Thabethe,” Khululiwe says. “Okay,
what do you want me to do? Postpone the
ceremony and focus on the pregnancy? I asked if she
was feeling unwell and she said no.”
“Must you wait until the baby is in real danger? No
Thabethe, that’s my daughter and for once you have an
opportunity to show her that she’s a priority and you choose
not to.”
“I didn’t expect this!” he lies back on the pillow andexhales
heavily.
“I’m not going to accept it now, 29 years later. We have
already given your family our all attention, for once I need
your attention to be on our children,” she says.
He gives no response. Khululiwe pulls up the duvet andsleeps
facing the wall.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

I overslept, I did a lot yesterday and it took a toll on my body.

Waking up this morning I realize that it’s just me and Thami
home. It’s the day of the ceremony, there’s agroup of village
boys sitting in the kraal, I don’t know where my uncle is.
Thami comes in, “They’re asking for traditional beer,they’re
hung over.”
“Where is your dad? I don’t know which one to give
them.” I don’t even think they should be here asking for
things so early, most people are coming in the afternoon.
“They went to see Bab’ Khanyile with Sis’ Zola,” he says.“Both
of them?”
“Yes,” he nods.
I’m confused and angry. I don’t know anything about what
should happen and shouldn’t happen. The least
they could’ve done is leave me with a set of instructions.
“I don’t know, take any of those in the kitchen and givethem,”
I say.
He takes one pot of traditional beer and leaves.

It doesn’t take long before a couple of women also arrive.

I’m all alone, I don’t know where to point them, Ilet them
sit in the lounge and take out cold drinks for
them. Maybe I wasn’t informed, people were told to
come in the morning.
I roll dumplings and put the dough in the sun for heat. I don’t
know what to do next, if they had told me to do this
ceremony myself I would’ve done my research on time. I
don’t want to call because if they wanted me to know
anything they would’ve told me before they left.
Thami’s people keep asking for more traditional beer, now
requesting some meat as well. I have no choice butto tell
them to go and come back later. It leaves a bitter
taste in my mouth because it feels like I just kicked out
people who were here to embrace my mother’s afterlife
journey.
The women in the lounge are looking at me, expecting some
sort of announcement. They can see that nobody is home
except Thami and I. My grandmother’s family isarriving
today with other useless relatives. If they came
yesterday or the day before this wouldn’t have
happened, they’d tell me what to do.
I'm alone.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

I don’t know what changed dad’s mind, him and my mother

woke up at 6am and told me to get dressed. Wegot in the car
and came here to see Khanyile, he says
the same thing the Ngcobo woman said. Xolani has a late
child that he didn’t meet or did anything to acknowledge. I
know two people who don’t know him can’t lie about him.
What I’m not sure of is if he knowsanything about this late
child. Xolani loves children, hewould’ve told me about it
and did everything he’s expected to do for the innocent
soul to rest in peace.
Khanyile gives me herbs to bathe with but insists that
Xolani should get cleansed as well.

My parents have questions that I can’t answer.“So

he hasn’t told you anything?” mom asks. “No, I don’t
think he will even understand this.”
“But Khanyile never lies. Did he ever follow through withhis
ex’s story?”
“She died nje ma, and it was already confirmed that her
baby belonged to someone else that she’d been with before
Xolani.” I don’t feel comfortable telling them that
MaNdlela’s daughter-in-law was the same woman we
talked about. I asked Nale not to say anything either,both
Mbuzeni and Robyn are dead, we closed that chapter.
“Maybe she wasn’t lying after all,” she says.
“That’s not his fault then, she wasn’t honest with
anything. I had a meeting with her, trying to find a
solution and she ran off.” I wouldn’t hold Xolani
accountable even if it was true, we tried to get to the
bottom of it, Robyn stood on the way.
.
.
.
I get home, people have already arrived so early. Village
people! They know ceremonies start late, even kids
birthdays parties don’t start before 12am. I greet and make
my way to the bedroom. I call Xolani, at least nowI have
confirmation and solution.
“Makoti wami,” he answers.
“Hey, how are you?” I ask.
“I’m fine, just worried about you, you’ve been offline the
whole morning. You didn’t even text me back when I said
good morning,” he says.
“Sorry Hadebe, I had to go somewhere with my
parents,” I say.
“Okay, is there anything I should know?” he asks.
“A woman came here and told me that my baby needs
protection because you have a late child that was never
acknowledged and its soul is hovering over my baby.”
“Are you serious?” He’s shocked.
“We went to confirm that with my parents from Khanyile,a
trusted village seer. Do you think maybe Robyn was
telling the truth?” I ask.
“No, you know that she was lying, she was in a relationship
with your dead home boy,” he says.
“But things happen, Robyn was smart, you also said it.Unless
there was someone else…”
“You have started again. I don’t know what child they’re
talking about, unless Phindile pulled another trick before
Onathi happened. I don’t know what to think.”
“Then come, let’s go to Khanyile, both of us, and findout,” I
say.
“Alright, I will come Tuesday, we’ll go before you comeback,"
he says.
I’m a bit relieved, this will be sorted, I trust Khanyile. I don’t
think it’s MaMkhwanazi, I don’t know why but I just think it’s
Robyn’s baby. Khanyile will give more clarity onthis, he will
tell us which relationship created the restlesssoul.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 107
NOKUZOLA

Unfortunately Onathi couldn’t find anyone to come with,

she just came with cold drinks and a bottle of Sminorff
then joined us in the kitchen. I have introduced her to my
mother, she’s a non-biological granddaughter of the
family. I’m a stepmother to one, almost became one totwo
but God rescued me. Onathi doesn’t regard
MaMkhwanazi as her mother, when she was sentencedto 25
years of imprisonment we worried, Xolani wanted to fetch
her from college and bring her home to be with us, but she
was perfectly fine. She wasn’t affected by it the way we
thought she would be. She takes Winnie asher mother,
despite of her past I like Winnie and enjoy co-parenting with
her and Xolani. It’s healthy, there’s nodrama. I can’t say
things would’ve been the same if it was Robyn, so God
helped us all.
Nale is not cool with me, I have noticed the cold shoulder
she’s giving everyone. It might be because ofwhat happened
yesterday; she took it wrongly when I talked about her mom,
who is my biological aunt and
family. I loved her and I respected her until she took herlast
breath. Nale knows that, I’d never speak ill of my aunt, I was
just trying to explain to her why I was feelingthe way that I
felt. She took offense, I guess.
Anyway, I don’t think anyone wants drama today. We have
served the guests, everything is going well, the whole village
came out. In the village they say the guests’ energy and
numbers determine the success of
the ceremony. This is a successful ceremony, it’s packedand
everyone seems to be happy.
Thami walks in, he’s been working tireless since yesterday.
He’d usually go to Nale but today she’s not inthe mood, he
avoids her and comes to me.
“Bhut’ Nzalo has arrived,” he says.
“I don’t know how that works, tell dad.” I don’t live here,
Xolani doesn’t come here unless there’s a meeting he’s a
part of between two families. My relationship is
different, we are following the rules that were set to the dot.
He is umkhwenyana here so he acts like one. I don’tknow
how their relationship with Nzalo is. It looks like hegot an
invite to be here and their lobola negotiations are only on
stage one. Whatever they say about animals in a farm, that’s
exactly what happens in this family. Xolani is expected to be a
perfect mkhwenyana who follows every tradition and terms
and conditions, but Nzalo gets a pass, just like Thami’s
girlfriend.

When I walk out to check the fire outside, Thabethe is

standing with his future son-in-law in the yard. They bothhave
their hands in their pockets, talking and laughing.
“Does it need more firewood?” mom asks, coming
behind me.
“Yes,” I can’t bend down to do it, standing back up willbe a
struggle.
She does it for me and reignite a huge flame of fire. “You
didn’t tell me son-in-laws are invited,” I say. “Oh, you’re
talking about Nzalo? That one is a family
member, he’s been here all week helping us. God has
given us an elder son, your father always wanted more
sons, someone to be Thami’s friend. Just like you have
Nalenhle as a sister,” she says.
“I see,” I kick more firewood close.
She adds to the flame. I’m a bit hurt, I won’t lie. I don’tthink
Xolani being older warrantees the different
treatment. I love Nzalo and love how he loves Nale, I just
wish Xolani would’ve been given the same welcomeand
acceptance. But it is what it is, at least he has plentyof friends
and his family trusts him again.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

Nzalo is about to leave, he came separately from Onathiwith

his friend, Mhlengi. I’ve been busy, I haven’t seen
them. I go to them to say goodbye but it looks like
there’s something he wants to talk about. Mhlengi getsin
his car and leaves.
We get in the car, people have started leaving.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.I
shrug, “Fine, I guess.”
“Your uncle is worried, you don’t look happy at all.
Apparently this is the same thing that happened during
your mother’s funeral, there was a lot of tension, and
that worries him.”
“So he came to you and talked to you about it?” I didn’t want
to escalate anything, I’m not creating any tension, Ihave been
keeping to myself because I know if I say anything there will
be so much noise.
“He’s just concerned, he wasn’t gossiping,” he says.
“But he knows why I’m not okay, Zola and I had anargument.”
“He doesn’t know about any argument. What was itabout?”
Honestly, I don’t even want to talk about this. “She
wanted him to accompany her somewhere,
something came up regarding her pregnancy, when he
refused she started blaming me and my dead mom for it.I’m
tired of this theory, everytime they argue my name has to be
in the middle of it.”
“Did you call her out?” he asks.
“I did, I guess that's why they all left in the morning without
saying anything, leaving me and Thami to do
things by ourselves. I get it, I got it the first time she saidit,
but I cannot be the cause of her problems forever,” I say.
“I hear you babe, I understand why you’re not happy.
But at the end of the day you are family and nothing will be
resolved without communication. Talk to her, explain what
you don’t like calmly, she will understand and do
things differently.”
“I don’t know if I really want to do that. I just want a
laptop,” I say.
“A laptop?” That came out of nowhere, right?“Yes, I
want to hustle online,” I say.
“That’s not necessary, I will get you a job when you wantone
and you have a place to stay,” he says.
“Which place?” I ask.
He smiles, “I’m renting out a guest room in my house but
because it’s you, you’re my friend, you can stay free.”
“I’m not going to do vat’ n sit Nzalo,” I say.
“Why not? We’ll get permission from elders after I send
lobola and you don’t have to do anything you’re lazy to do
outside our bedroom. You’ve known me long enough,I’m sure
you trust me now.”
“I do, but I want my freedom before we tie the knot. So no, I
will find a room to rent and we’ll continue as we didbefore I
came back here,” I say.
“Fine, I will move in with kaMaharaj,” he says.
“I don’t care, I’m the matriarch eitherway, she will get
instructions from me,” I say.
He laughs, “Yazi one day they’re going to take me awayfrom
you because you don’t appreciate me.”
“You’re not all that Nzalokayise,” I say.
“Really? I’m not all that?” He pulls me and kisses meuntil
I run out of breath.
He pushes his hand under my dress and rubs over my
panty.
“Keep her warm for me,” he says.
My clit bounces at the sexiness of his voice.“I
have to go,” he says.
“Nzalo,” I whisper desperate for another kiss. “Get
out of my car Nalenhle, ku-busy ekhaya.”
Mxm! I grab his sunglasses and get out. He’s laughingat my
irritated face.
I have a collection of his sunglasses that I always take
without permission.

I feel okay after seeing him, I think he’s the only personI’ve
held a long conversation with today. Am I the type
that people drag on Facebook? Looking sour because
there’s a ceremony at home. I hope that’s not what people
think, my anger was directed to my family, not everyone.
“I want to talk to you,” aunty says.
“Now?” I ask.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
I’m not doing anything, Zola is with the girls, I follow herto
her bedroom. I know she probably wants to address the
way I’ve been carrying myself since morning.
“I don’t like what you did today,” she says.
“What did I do?” I ask.
“Carrying a long face and being unfriendly to everyone. It
was your mother’s ceremony, you should’ve been niceto
guests, most people came here to support Nalenhle’s
mother.”
“But you know that I don’t know how to pretend; if I’m
not okay, I’m not okay,” I say.
“What happened? I thought we did everything perfectly,”she
asks.
“No, it’s not about the ceremony, but Zola. I don’t like how
she always pins her misery to me and my mom, even when
she’s dead. And I know she talked to you about it. I’m one
person who didn’t have a perfect childhood, I struggled a lot,
you remember that. But nowmy childhood is always being
referenced to as if I had everything smoothly.”
“Can I call her to be here?” she asks.
I shrug, she goes out and calls Zola. I didn’t want to address
this today because I’m still angry and my pointmay get lost
in the midst of emotions.

They come in, Zola sits down.

“I don’t want Thabethe to notice this tension because itwill
get to him and you will both end up saying he’s
taking a side,” she says.
“I don’t talk about anyone taking a side.” I’m not going tobe
thrown into things I never utter with my own mouth. Ifshe
wants to address things then she should hold us accountable
for our actions accordingly.
“Nokuzola, you do,” she says.
Zola shrugs; she’s guilty as charged.
“Now tell me what happened; who said what,” she says,
staring at both of us.
I didn’t want to do this, I wait for the real housewife of
Tongaat to share her side.
“I said dad always put me second and he still wanted me to
come after Nale and aunty, referring to the ceremony,” she
says.
Her mom looks at me. “Is that what made you angry?”
“Yes, because how is it my mom’s fault that malume
didn’t want to leave the cow slaughtering for a trip to
Khanyile’s house?” I don’t understand, is he not capableof
making decisions with his independent thoughts?
“I wasn’t saying it’s anybody’s fault,” she says. “But
that’s what you always do, yesterday was no
exception. You didn’t have a problem with me growing
up, we moved out and lived together, we were still okay. Then
as soon as I found out that my dad didn’t exist, you
flipped up and started talking about how I took all the
attention from your dad.”
“That’s not true and even so, you cannot fault me for when I
found courage to express my feelings to my dad.
I was scared of him my whole life. Scared of disappointing
him, so I suppressed my feelings. The
difference between my relationship and your relationshipis
clear as a day. As old as I am, I still cry if he shouts atme. If I
express myself to you it’s not because I’m blaming you, but I
cannot talk about my issues with him without involving you.”
“That’s not fair and you know it. If you want talk about your
issues choose time, don’t wait until I’m doing something or
my mom is having something done for herthen express
yourself. Now you’re using me to have your way with him. I
have never met my dad, I have never had a conversation
with my mom, it really pisses me off when you make it
sound like I had a glamorous childhood. Would you swap
places with me if you had achance?”
Silence.
Exactly, she wouldn’t want to be in my position, nobodywould.
“You can express yourself without using my name, unless
you want to be me, which I highly doubt you do. Idon’t want
to fight with you, you’re pregnant and stressed. If we fight,
at least let it be about issues
between you and I, not your issues with someone else.”
“But I haven’t fought with you Nale, I just said somethingyou
didn’t like and then you shut everyone out. Once again, I
wasn’t trying to hurt you or put the blame on you. I have a
lot going on, dad came through for me, now let’s move on. It
won’t happen again, let’s not ruin aunt’s day.”
“The day is over anyway, I’m going to wash the dishes.” I
think we’ve hashed it out, I can go back and finish whatI was
doing.
“I will wash the dishes, take a break,” aunty says.“No,
I want to,” I insist.
“No, sit down and talk to your cousin.” She walks out,leaving
us alone.

She was the mediator, I don’t think I would’ve beeninterested

in talking about it if it wasn’t for her.
“The baby is fine for now, Xolani is coming on Tuesday,”Zola
updates me.
“That’s amazing, I guess,” I say.
“It’s not amazing because I might discover something Iwon’t
like. I saw Nzalo, they really like him,” she says.
“Yeah, he forced himself down their throats.”
“I think they’d like him anyway, he’s the perfect son-in-law. I
can’t say the same about Xolani, he was hated
from day one.” One thing about Zola, she will always play
“spot the difference” even when it’s unnecessary.
“Are you going to be offended if I say they’re notexpected to
follow the same rules?” she asks.
“I will call you delusional,” I say.
“But it’s the truth,” she says.
“Zola, you’re also allowed to break the rules, just make sure
you will be able to stand the heat that comes with
consequences. Nzalo and I are always ready.”
“We have enough drama going on in our lives,” she sighs
heavily. “Before I give birth I want to take dad outto a
daughter and dad trip, I feel like we need to talk away from
home and everyone. I don’t want issues likethese to keeping
coming up when there’s a baby around. I don’t want any bad
blood, I love him and I’m blessed to still have both parents.”
“That will be good because honestly, your fights are getting
tiring.” It’s been the same shit for almost a yearnow, we need
fresh family fights. Maybe someone
breaking someone else’s cup, not this expired tastelessfight.
“What about you? How are you moving forward? I mean,
really moving forward,” she asks.
“I have,” I say.
“I don’t think you have.”
Really now?
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 108
NOKUZOLA
He’s respected in every room he enters. He always stands
tall and shines. But not here, here he becomessmall and
uncomfortable. As much as he’s been accepted and
welcomed, I don’t think he will ever be
truly embraced and he knows it.
His head is bowed as soon as my parents walk in. It was
important for him to start here and hear from the elders
before we proceed to Khanyile’s house. Mom sits next tome
on the grass-mat, dad sits next to the door on a chair.
They greet him, he responds in a lowered voice. It maylook
like a sign of respect but I know that my dad is probably the
only man he fears in this world.
“I’m sure Nokuzola has briefed you about what was saidto
her by two different gifted people regarding the baby she’s
carrying. Her mother and I accompanied her to
Khanyile to have a second opinion and he confirmed what
the first person said. I’m not going to speak into Hadebe
matters but you have our permission to take herto Khanyile
and do whatever is needed for the baby to be okay and your
house to be safe,” dad says.
“Thank you,” he says.
“That’s all from me, I don’t know if her mother wants tosay
anything.” He looks at my mom.
She clears her throat, “Nothing much, I just would like to
know if the Hadebes believes in isintu and follows it?”
“We try,” Xolani says.
“Is there anything you will do to make sure that
Nokuzola doesn’t end up like the previous Hadebe
wives, dead or jailed?”
I’m surprised by the question, I’d expect it from her
husband. It does raise eyebrows that no Hadebe wife lived
happily ever after, even Xolani’s mother, but noneof it had
anything to do with Xolani.
“It’s not a curse or anything like that, there were
circumstances and family internal issues. Nokuzola issafe and I
will always make sure that she is. You havenothing to worry
about.”
“Her dad is worried,” she says.
I knew it sounded like something he’d pay attention to.
“Thabethe, umh, nothing is going to happen to Nokuzola.
She’s a special woman to me and to theHadebe name,”
Xolani says.
A moment of silence passes, I don’t know if they believehim.
“Kuyezwakala,” dad says, just acknowledging that hesaid
something without necessarily believing or not believing
him.
Nale brings the juice, he doesn’t like it that much, hedrinks
half of the glass and then we leave.
.
.
.
Khanyile’s house is not far, it’s a walkable distance. Dad
informed him about us, he’s already waiting. I’m a bit scared,
I don’t know how I’m going to feel if I find out
that Robyn was really pregnant with his child. She’sdead, she
won’t answer any of my questions.
“You came back with him?” Khanyile smiles.
He’s friends with my dad, he was the one to strengthenthe
kraal after my lobola was brought.
“What’s your surname?” he asks.
It’s just the formalities, he already knows.“Hadebe,”
Xolani says.
“Oh, Bhungane! Makhulukhulu!”
We sit down while he gets his working space set up. Xolani
seems to be at ease, I thought he’d be nervousbecause he
doesn’t know the child talked about.
“The old man says there’s a child that left before his feet
could touch the ground, leaving by your hand. His soul is
looming around, lost,” Khanyile says.
“By my hand?” He sounds confused.
“That’s what the old man is saying. You know what youdid and
why there’s family blood on your hands,”
Khanyile says.
“Which blood? The baby’s?”
“Different blood, including your baby’s.” Khanyile sighs and
then starts groaning heavily. “Do you want privacy?”
“No, she’s my wife…almost,” Xolani says.
There’s something deep here, that's why Khanyile is giving
him an option to kick me out. I just hope it’s notsomething
that’s going to change how I see him.
“Whose blood is in your hands?” Khanyile.
I thought it was an accusation but the man next to me
looks ready to talk.
“It belongs to those who wronged me and made my life
miserable,” he says.
My stomach turns. He’s confessing to murder, telling
Khanyile that he murdered them because they wrongedhim.
He doesn’t see anything wrong, he’s justifying it.
“Did you get cleansed?” Khanyile asks.
“No, I have never raised my hand to kill anyone,” he
says.
“That doesn’t matter, imphefumulo yabo ibuzwa kuwe. The
child was your blood, isende lakho, so you can’t ignore that it
ever existed. You killed him in his mother'swomb.
Acknowledge that and get cleansed, I will write down
everything you have to do.”
“Okay, thank you,” he says with a heavy sigh.
Khanyile groans again, then shakes his head. “You havea
heavy heart. Why do you hold so many grudges?”
“The only way not to hold a grudge is if you get an
apology,” he says.
“But it’s not good for you. Ubopha kakhulu inhliziyo and then
your light shines and dims. You’re happy but not allthe times.
You’re your own enemy.”
Silence.
“Forgive your father,” Khanyile says.
Nothing, just a deep sigh.
.
.
.
He parks beside the gravel road, just a few yards away from
home. I deserve to know the truth, about the child and all
the people he didn’t forgive and killed.
“Who are you, Xolani?” I don’t know who I’m marrying.
How many people have died because of him? Am I safe?
“Ngiwumyeni wakho,” he says.
“Not yet, we are not married.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I can still decide not to get married to you. I don’t wantto
marry a murderer,” I say.
“What did I say to you before we even started?”“I
don’t remember,” I say.
“Didn’t I tell you that I’m not perfect?”
“You call killing people an imperfection?” I can’t believe this. A
serial killer is calling his actions imperfection, justimperfection.
“I don’t kill people unless I’m wronged to a certain extent.
My brother, Sbusiso, hurt me more than anyone
beside my parents. I loved Phindile, she was one thing Ihad
in my life at the time. I didn’t have a family that cared for
me, I was struggling everyday. He had the house and the
money, all the cars and a wife that lovedhim to death with
three beautiful children. But he still came for that one thing I
had, took my business plans because I didn’t have funds to
carry them through, and destroyed all my dreams.”
“So you killed him?” My heart is heavy, I understand howdeep
his scars are but to me nothing can ever justify murder.
“Robyn did, instructed by me,” he says.
Maybe this could’ve happened after I give birth. I’m
seven months pregnant, I don’t need this kind of
information. How am I ever going to look at Nzalo and
Lwethu knowing that the man I sleep with everyday is the
reason why they don’t have a father?
“That night when I left she had threatened to talk about
every business we did together to specific individuals,” he
says.
“So you killed Robyn?”
“Mbuzeni did, it was a deal between us.”
“Then why did he kill himself afterwards?”
“He didn’t,” he says.
I need water, I grab his bottle, I hate sparkling water butI
drink it.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Am I okay? Are you kidding me? How many people have
you killed?” This man doesn’t care if you’re familyor woman,
he kills mercilessly.
“Does it matter?” he says.
“It does. Are you also going to kill me one day?” “Why
would I kill a mother of my child?” he asks. “You had
Robyn killed after she fought your battles,
killed for you and stuck by your side for years. And she was
also the mother of your child.” Now I understand why she
couldn’t let go, they went through a lot together,she did so
much for him.
“She wasn’t doing me favors, we worked together,” hesays.
It’s alarming that he’s not remorseful or even touched bythe
fact that she was carrying his baby.
“You really don’t have any regrets?” I’m shocked.“I
won’t lie, no I don’t. I will do what I need to do
regarding the baby but even God knows that I never
intended to have a baby with Robyn and I made sure it
didn’t happen for years. I don’t know how she fell pregnant
and why she decided to keep it.”
I’m lost for words. Robyn wasn’t my favorite but nobody
deserves what she went through.
“Have I answered all your questions?” he asks.
I shake my head and look outside the window. Can I livewith
this? Is he going to kill everyone that betrays him and does
him wrong?
“Nothing is going to happen to izibulo lethu. What I wantyou
to do is keep the Thabethe matters and Hadebe matters
separately. I told you that I needed umfazi whenwe met, do
you know what that means?”
I know what that means but it’s not a term he can use to
silence me.
“Why did Thobile die?” I ask.
“I don’t know, I didn’t kill her, you know her killers,” hesays.
“I guess what I’m trying to ask is, did she do anything to
make her husband go to MaMkhwanazi who ended up
killing her with his help?”
“I don’t know,” he says.
“But she was the only person in the family who liked youand
you have fought tooth and nail for her justice until now. Why
was that so important to you?”
“I wanted Phindile to pay for what she did,” he says.
“Did you ever sleep with Thobile?” I ask.
“Thobile was not that type of woman. She was loyal tomy
brother and…”
“Yes or no Xolani,” that’s all there’s to say. I just need aone-
word answer.
“Yes,” he says and takes a deep breath, resting his headback
on the seat.
I blame the day Nale involved herself with this family.
Right now I can’t even say who was more wrong; they
betrayed one another and both have bloods in their
hands. Thobile slept with both and died, MaMkhwanazi slept
with both and went to jail, and Robyn slept with thisone and
ended up dead. And for some reason I was angry when my
parents asked if I’m safe in that family.
“What time are you coming home?” he asks.“I
don’t know,” I say.
“Please make it before 5pm.”
I open the door and climb out. My head is pounding, thiswas
too much to sit and listen through. I understand whydad
wasn’t okay with us getting married. It’s a lot to just join a
family and become a member, not knowing their
full history. I’m used to family feuds, my grandmother’s family
hates my mom, Nale and I fight after every two months, now
there’s a little girl dating Thami that we’vejoined hands in
hating. But nobody sleeps with one another’s partner and kill
each other. No, I don’t know anything like this, my family is
perfect compared to this and I need to appreciate how much
we love each other.

Dad is hardly indoors during the day, he’s one person I wanted
to avoid but unfortunately he’s here. I wanted tobe by myself
for a moment but I can’t just walk past.
They’re waiting for feedback.
“How did it go?” mom asks. “It
all went well,” I say.
“Did you get all the clarity you needed?” She wants meto
share what Khanyile said and I can’t.
I cannot confide to my parents about the Hadebe history,in
fact I cannot confide to anyone. I have to go to the grave with
it, that’s what Xolani wants. That’s the burdenI have to carry
along with the wedding ring he’s going to put on my finger.
“I got clarity, he’s going to sort it out, Khanyile gave himall
the necessary information,” I say.
“Oh, that’s good.” She doesn’t look satisfied with myanswers.
“I want to take a nap,” I say.
“No problem, but eat before you do.” I
nod and get up to go to the kitchen. No,
I need to say something.
I turn around, “Baba,”
He looks up.
“I understand everything you said.”
“About what?” he asks.
“About being with Xolani and marrying him. It’s not easy,I
have to accept and keep a lot of things I wouldn’t be
comfortable with on a normal day.”
“At least now you understand that I wasn’t standing against
your happiness, I was just concerned about mydaughter,”
he says.
“I understand, thank you.” I only have a couple of hoursto
decide whether I’m going to Xolani Hadebe before 5pm as
he requested or not.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 109
NALENHLE

It’s funny how Zola failed to understand why I had to run

back home only to end up doing the same. There’s no place
like home, this is where we are safe and know weare cared
for. I have been expecting Mr X to show up but he hasn’t. I
don’t know what she found out from theirvisit to Khanyile,
for the first time she’s not sharing anything with me. We
have discussed the Hadebe matters before, I share
everything about them from my side, the only thing I have
kept to myself is what happened between Msindisi and
Musa.
“Naleee!” she yells from her bedroom.
I take a glass of water and sugar to her. I’m addressing this
today, she’s forgotten where she is. I give her, she’smaking
sugar water.
“This is not Mr X’s house, you know that right? You don’thave
a maid here. You get your own food, help clean thehouse and
wash your plate after eating.”
She rolls her eyes, “I’m pregnant, not lazy.”
“Pregnancy is just a cherry on top, you bottom chairs.
Maybe you need to ask Mr X to send a maid for us,” Isay.
She chuckles and sips her sugar water slowly.
Something definitely happened and it’s deeper than her,
otherwise she’d be ranting.
“What happened? You were supposed to leave onTuesday,”
I’m curious.
“Are you kicking me out?” she asks.
“No, I want you here, but I’m sure everyone is wonderingwhy
you haven’t left yet. Have you come back home?”
“I’m still a Thabethe, I’m not forced to live at the Hadebes.
I’m just exercising my right before I either getmarried or
decide otherwise,” she says.
This is serious, she’s even thinking about not gettingmarried.
I’m more curious than before. “Who did he make a child
with?” I ask.
“Robyn,” she says.
“Fuck! That’s why you’re mad.”
“Not really, I don’t care about that anymore. I’m just
rethinking about changing my identity and becoming apart of
that family, making a vow to leave only in a casket.”
“But you knew what marriage is before you accepted his
proposal.” I don’t understand why she’s acting like she just
discovered this.
“I didn’t know who the Hadebes really are,” she says.
“Tell me, who are they?” I’m also getting married to that
family, I deserve to know.
“Dark, twisted family; full of grudges, secrets and
restless spirits,” she says.
“No family is perfect, look at us. I’m my grandfather’s
daughter, he was buried away from home for over two
decades, and we are with uncle and nephew which is
automatically father and son in our culture.”
She laughs, “That’s fucked up but I dated Xolani first, Nzalo
shouldn’t have persuaded a relationship with you.But we are
not messy as the Hadebes, trust me.”
“I’m still going to marry Nzalo and become Nalenhle
Thabethe-Hadebe,” I say.
“I’m not sure about marriage, I just want to give birth andsee
what I do afterwards.” What was revealed about the
Hadebes really shook her. If it concerned Nzalo she would
have told me to caution me, so I know it’s just about Mr X.
.
.
.
My mom’s ceremony went well, I owe Nzalo a visit. I also
haven’t thanked him for everything he did for mefrom the
first day of preparations. I blasted him for notsupporting
me during the funeral, I have to keep the same energy
when he does something good.
The tricky part is asking for permission and putting out the
exact time I will be back home. My uncle is out withhis
cows, I prefer asking his wife, not him directly.
Zola is now taking a nap, she will wake up looking forher
Tongaat maid to send around. I look for aunty andfind her
behind the house, washing her husband’s overalls.
“Can I ask something?” I say.
She stands up straight, “What is it?”
“Can I visit Nzalo? I will come back tomorrow.”
“I never see you going to the clinic but you are always
visiting Nzalo. Are you preventing?” she asks.
I didn’t expect this question.“I
am,” I say.
“I’m serious Nalenhle, don’t be like me. I never got to enjoy
your uncle, it didn’t even take a year for me to fallpregnant
with Nokuzola. Three years later we had you from Bazamile,
then Thamsanqa. It’s never been just him and I.”
“We both don’t want to have a baby, so we are carefuland
we use protection,” I say.
“Good, because you and Nokuzola have twin tendency and
we don’t need a second grandchild. Niyakhulumisa futhi
nalamasoka enu,” she says.
“But I don’t involve you guys in my relationship issues," Isay.
She gives me a side eye.
Ok, maybe I do here and there, but it’s not everytime.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

I need time to myself, just to absorb everything and reset

my brain. Xolani hasn’t asked why I didn’t go backon the day
he said. I love him, that’s the glaring truth I cannot run away
from, but loving him doesn’t mean jumping everytime he
says jump. If I go back before I give birth it will be on the day
I decide.
Nale just left, she’s going to Nzalo. As noisy as she is, Nale
takes care of the house and makes sure that I don’tgo
hungry. Today and tomorrow is hell for me, I have to do
every little thing for myself because I can’t ask my mom. I
drag myself to the kitchen, I want a cup of warm milk.
Mom is on the table chopping spinach, I’m sure it’s atreat for
her husband.
“Wenza kahle wavuka,” she says, she’s been waiting forme to
wake up.
I hope she’s not about to ask me why I’m home.“Did
you fight with Hadebe?” she asks.
“Not really,” I say.
“Oh, you both agreed that you will be here until you give
birth?” It’s normal for a woman to go home when she’s
almost due, but I’m still two months away.
“No,” I say.
“So there was a fight?”
“No, I just need to clear my head, uzoba strong.”
“That’s not how things are done, if there’s a problem wehave
to call him to a meeting and discuss it. The relationship is not
just between the two of you, he’s paidyour father everything.”
“You make it sound like I’m a cloth that was paid for.” I don’t
like how, all of a sudden, I can’t make decisions inmy
relationship without informing the elders.
“Uyingoduso yomuntu, you’re someone’s fiance, you can’t
act like a girlfriend. And you’re carrying his child,you need to
at least give us clarity,” she says.
“There’s no clarity, I’m here to clear my head.” I no longer
want the hot milk, let me disappear from her facebefore
things go south.
.
.
.
I turn on the TV and watch a random show. Dad walks in,
complaining about one of the cows. His life revolvesaround
his livestock.
“Kudliwani lay’khaya?” he asks.
“I don’t know, I will check with your first lady.” I have toface
my mom again, sigh.
She’s still cooking the spinach.
“Dad wants something to eat,” I say.
“I’m still cooking, give him bread and juice.”“I
have to do it?” I ask.
She turns around, “Do you think it will make itself? Hhayi-bo
Nokuzola, this is not Hadebe’s mansion, washyour hands
and do it.”
Phewww!
I get it together and serve his royal highness, Thabethe.
“Where is Nalenhle?” he asks.
“She went to Tongaat,” I say.
“Okay,” he starts eating.
Nzalo is liked a lot here. I also like him, he’s good to meeven
when I’m not good with Nale.
“I’m here to clear my head,” I say.
He looks up, slightly frowning. “What does that mean?”
“I just needed to be away from the fast life, I’m telling you
just in case people ask questions. After all I’m notmarried
yet,” I say.
“I know that, I don’t think anyone is going to ask why you’re
in your father’s house,” he goes back to eating. Idon’t think
he understands, I’m talking about the Hadebes, not village
people.
“Mom thinks I need to report to Xolani,” I say.
“Why? Doesn’t he know that you’re here?” he asks.
“He knows but he wanted me to go back on Tuesday, before
5pm. I didn’t communicate afterwards, that’s partof clearing
my head,” I say.
“You’re home, it’s your right to be here, but every
relationship needs communication. Are you sure
everything is okay?” He sounds a bit worried.
“Yeah, everything is good. I just wanted to be home with my
parents, getting some attention as a child for the lasttime, in
two months I will be a parent.”
He chuckles, “No, here you will always be a child.”
“But you’ve always treated me like an elder, someonewho
knows what she’s doing and knows how to make
the right decisions. That was until I got in a relationshipwith
Xolani, then you started doubting my decisions.”
He takes a deep breath, “Sometimes you realize other
things late in life. I still trust your decisions but a part ofme
needed to realize that you’re a child, my child. No matter
how good you are at looking after yourself you still needed
my guidance as a father. So when I finally
tried to do that, we clashed, inkonyane yethuka isisinga,you
weren’t used to me challenging your decisions.”
“So you’re not mad at me for misbehaving?” I ask.
“Misbehaving? No, you don’t know how to misbehave, you
just complain and cry. There’s a master, Nalenhle, every
chance she gets she tries to send me to an earlygrave.”
I laugh because the harsher he reacts to Nale is the
more thrill she gets.
“You’re good and I’m blessed to have had you, becauseif you
didn’t help me as much as you did, I would’ve probably hung
myself with a rope and died.”
“What do you mean?” We don’t ever talk like this, so I’m
interested, this conversation takes my mind off stressful
things.
“I was 19 when I had you Nokuzola, your mom was 16. My
mother had a daughter that depended on her for everything,
your aunt. My father was a drunk, everytime he came home
there would be a fight. He really loved me though and he
made it clear that I was his favorite child. So I had made a 16
year old girl pregnant, your grandmother was depressed and
always fighting with her husband while taking care of a
disabled child. It was a mess, your mother was panicking
because her parentswere strict.”
“Jesus Christ! What did you do?” I ask.
“I looked for a job, luckily I happened to be your
grandfather’s golden child, so he helped me pay what was
due to your mother’s family. And it was during thoseold
times, marriage was essential especially when therewas a
baby in the picture. My mother also needed a helper, so we
had to…”
“Really, Thabethe? Really?” mom walks in, her hands onthe
waist.
“He didn’t say anything bad,” I interject.
“It’s not bad when he makes it sound like he married me
because of circumstances, not love?”
But that’s not what he meant, anyway what do I know?“I’m
talking to Nokuzola,” dad says.
“No, don’t make it sound like you married me because I had a
child and your mother needed a helper. You werebegging for
my attention, camping outside my parents’ house with your
one blue shirt everyday.”
Sigh.
I can’t believe they’re really arguing over this.
“You still came out to my one shirt and disobeyed your
parents.” If dad shuts up this argument will die, honestly.
“I had options Thabethe, I had people who drove big cars
begging for my time. Even now I still have men asking me to
stop and turn around in town.” She’s sucha dramatic wife, I
don’t think any man does that in town.
I mean, with her gold ring that’s almost the size of her
finger and umhezo that’s always across her chest, everyman
knows that she’s married. Thabethe laughs, he knows it’s just
a lie.
She returns to the kitchen and comes back with his food.
His spoon in a glass of water and plate covered on a tray. Do
I feed Xolani after an argument? It looks like Istill have a lot
to learn about marriage.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 110
NALENHLE
I went to Tongaat and woke up in Fraserburg. I didn’t even
get a chance to call home, out of province for me is
international, so I can’t be this far without letting my
family know. There’s no emergency, it was only in Nzalo’s
head. Msindisi doesn’t open up to him, neither does Lwethu,
but still that doesn’t give him a glimpse about what kind of a
brother he is. I’m sure Lwethu andMsindisi talk about
everything and hide some things
from him. So we came here because ever since Msindisileft
KZN he’s never set his foot back again. He can’t be
that busy, Lwethu fell pregnant within three months of
leaving home, so his guard is up. Hopefully when we goto his
apartment we don’t find him in a situation that we found
Lwethu in, cohabiting with a pregnant girl.
I’m about to make a phone call, I get distracted by a
naked man walking out of the bathroom.
“There are towels in the bathroom,” I say.
“Hhayi-bo,” he says, running some lotion on his arms.
“Hhayi-bo ini? I’m trying to call my aunt to tell her thatI’m
here.”
“But I’m not holding you,” he stands in front of the mirror
and checks his small bum-bum out.
No, I can’t make a call to an elder while there’s a nakedman
in front of me. I respect my aunt too much to disrespect her
like that. I put the phone down, he glances at me and
chuckles.
We have freshened up to go to Msindisi’s apartment, he’s
going to be home after 4pm. His is not a surprise,Nzalo
texted him and told him that we are here.
He closes the curtains and comes to my side, standing in
front of me with his dick dangling on his thigh. This is a
punishment, I don’t find a dick cute unless I’m horny.
“Why are you making a face? Please suck me,” he says.
“We are about to leave.” I don’t want to suck a dick. Not
before I go to meet new people, Msindisi’s circle.
“We are not rushing to work. Awufuni?”I
sigh, “I’m tired.”
“Okay,” he climbs on the bed and pulls the towel aroundmy
waist off. I’m cute, I took a shower and put my underwear
on. I only need to put on a dress and I will begood to go.
“How do you think I survive?” he asks, lying between mylegs.
“What do you mean?” I know exactly what he wants,
yesterday we had to get ready for a trip here and we
didn’t do much other than kissing.
“I haven’t had sex this month,” he says.
“Me too,” I say.
Men like acting special, a month is only four weeks.“So
why are you surprised that I want to nut?”
I let out a heavy sigh and push down my G-string. Hehelps
me and takes it off one leg, then brushes my
mound. I shaved clean yesterday before I left home, I
thought I’d get some last night, that’s when I was
prepared.
“Awuzenz’ istarring!” he says, smiling at it.“I
didn’t shave for you,” I say.
“Do you fuck yourself or you are keeping it for someone
else?”
I don’t respond, he spreads my vaginal lips and runs hispink
finger between the folds. His face goes down, he keeps it
spread and runs the tip of his tongue through
the folds. Anytime his mouth gets in contact with a placeit
shouldn’t be on, I hold my breath.
“Relax,” he says.
I breathe out. He pushes my knees up and dedicates his
tongue to my clit. Sucking, gently biting and nibbling on it.
He’s not doing this to turn me on or give me an orgasm. No,
it’s for his own happiness, he’s moaning
with every lick. He sticks his finger in my opening andthen
licks off every juice that comes out.
“Babe!” my clit is throbbing like it’s about to burst in hislips.
“Mmmmm,” he moans in my cookie.
Fuck, I grab on the sheets and try muffling my screams.He
pushes in the second finger and moves them around,
tapping on my soft spot. His lips pull my clit,
then he beats it with his tongue. My legs tremble, my body is
letting out a steam. He pins me down, I’m never
still during an orgasm. He restricts my movements untilmy
body calms down.

The veins on his temple are bursting out. His eyes aretiny
and teary. If I don’t give him anything I won’t see heaven,
there’s just no way I will enter.
“Ow baby!” he moans before I even touch him.
He’s breathing with his mouth open. He grabs me fromgetting
out of bed.
“Skoon babe, please,” he looks ready to cum.
We don’t do it raw unless it’s urgent and in inappropriate
places. I don’t take chances, I never forget to take a pill the
next morning. He doesn’t even wait for me to be in position,
he pulls my leg up and gets in while I’m lying on my arm,
almost breaking myself.
It doesn’t take long before he starts vibrating like a
Nokia 3310.
“I’m cumming baby wami, I’m cumming!” He doesn’t
bother pulling out until his whole load is inside me. I
need another shower and address to the nearest
pharmacy.
I turn around, he kisses me out of breath until I gently
push him off.
He brushes my cheek, “We’ll continue when we comeback. I
love you, uyezwa?”
“I love you too,” I say.
“Let’s keep our love burning like this. I will never breakyour
heart. You make me happy more than I ever
thought I will ever be.”I
smile, “Really babe?”
“I love you more than you know and you’re my best
friend. I know I can talk to you about anything and you
won’t judge me,” he says and quickly corrects himself. “No,
you judge me but still stay with me.”
He knows me too well.
.
.
.

Msindisi has a nice apartment, I just find this

neighbourhood too quiet and creepy. He gets us fromthe
parking and oh child, he looks good. One thing about him,
he’s always been neat. He has grown hair,braided it and
cut on the sides. He’s in a white T-shirtand saggy black
pants.
The first few minutes are fantastic. They are huggingand
commenting on each other’s looks like normal siblings after
not seeing each other for a long time.
“Hello,” he says to me.
“Hey,” I shake his hand.
We went from talking almost everyday about life and
everything to no communication. We didn’t have a fight,it
was all good, even the misunderstanding we had was
ironed out. I didn’t understand why he was leaving but I
understand now. But I have a lot of questions.
We make our way in, it’s a two-bedroom apartment witha
kitchen and small lounge. It looks organized, just like he is.
“Are you planning on coming back home when it’s our
funerals?” Nzalo asks.
He chuckles, “Not really, I just need to make time. Letme get
you drinks.”
“Okay, I will check out this place.” Nzalo is now snooping
around, Msindisi doesn’t stop him, they head towards
different directions.

Msindisi comes back first and gives me a glass of redwine,

he knows the drill.
“How have you been?” I ask.
“I’m okay. And you? How is life in the village?”“Peaceful,” I
say.
“You left after me?”I
nod, “Yeah.”
He looks at me but doesn’t say anything.
“I thought you’d stay to attend the court case,” I say.
“I didn’t need to, I had to move on from that situation
before I lost myself in it.” He makes sense; he was
turning worse than Nzalo.
“You look happy,” I note.
“Thank you,” he says.
I sip my wine, when I raise my eyes he’s looking at me. Ican’t
ask him what I want to ask, it's sensitive. He also can’t just tell
me without asking.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“About what?” I ask.
“All the confusion I created.”
Nzalo comes back, our conversation is cut short. He’s asking
about something in the bedroom, Msindisi gets up and
follows him back to the bedroom. I gulp down thewhole
glass. I didn’t think I’d be this uncomfortable, otherwise I
would’ve refused to come with Nzalo.

They’re gone for quite some time, Nzalo comes back and
grabs his phone then returns to the bedroom. I guess
they’re catching up on family related matters. I lieon the
couch and try to edit my videos myself, I need toupload new
content.
He comes back again, this time he looks angry. He asksthat we
step outside and talk. I’m just confused.
“What are you not telling me?” he asks, evidently
furious.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Msindisi is apologizing, saying you were talking about
having a relationship.”
My stomach turns. “We were talking or he was talking?”
“Whatever it was, did it happen?” His grabellar lines are
dipping into his forehead.
He’s holding on tiny hope before blowing up.
“I don’t understand,” I don’t know why Msindisi would
apologize for that or even bring it up.
“Uk’shelile ubhuti wami, yes or no?” he says.
I shouldn’t have come here, my uncle didn’t bless thistrip.
“Yes, but he was confused and going through a lotemotionally,
so I dismissed it.”
“Okay,” he walks back in.
I follow him in and sit on the couch again.

I can’t even look at Msindisi because why the fuck wouldhe

start apologizing? He didn’t leave because of me andhe’s
definitely not coming back home because he’s ashamed of
what he did with Musa, not because of me.
“I have been doing a lot of self introspection and onething
that stood out is how I made you uncomfortable
and betrayed my brother, not just with you but Musa aswell.
I’m really sorry,” he says.
I have nothing to say to him, really.He
looks at Nzalo, "I'm sorry bhuti."
“Ngiyakuzwa but I don’t understand how you crossedthat
line. You don’t do that even to your friends, how
much more a brother? You looked at my girlfriend in thatway
and asked her to dump me and be with you?”
“Can we not do this?” I ask. I don’t want to be a subjectof
their back and forth.
I didn’t tell Nzalo anything because I was avoiding a stupid
fight on my name. Now he apologizes for leavinghome using
what happened as an excuse? Fuck this shit.
“I’m hurt,” Nzalo says.
I look at Msindisi. Is he happy now?
“Nothing happened, I was just telling you why I’ve been
avoiding home,” Msindisi says.
“No, not by you. I don’t trust you anyway, you dined with
someone who wanted me dead and told you about it.” He
takes a deep sigh and turns his eyes to me, “Nalenhle, for
real?”
“It wasn’t deep,” I say.
“Let's go,” he says.
I don’t care what explanation Nzalo demanded, this shouldn’t
have come up. I don’t say goodbye, I follow Nzalo out, we get
in the car and head back to the BnB.
.
.
.
This is now an uncomfortable position that Msindisi hasput
me in, not what he did in the past. After standing in the
window for moment, he comes back and takes out his T-
shirt.
“So you left because isesheli sakho was gone too?” heasks.
“I’m not going to fight with you or answer such questions. If
you don’t know me by now, you will neverknow me,” I say.
“Don’t play poems with me, Nalenhle. My brother, myblood,
asked you out while you were in a relationship
with me and you didn’t tell me to make him stop. Insteadyou
bought gifts for him, disregarded my request for boundaries
and went back to the village after he left.”
“So what are you trying to say now? That we are athing?” I
ask.
“You’re not honest and this time it’s not funny. You kept
leading him on and I told you because even I could see
that you were making yourself too available in his time of
need. Sekmele sithethe amacala abafana manje? And not just
any boy, my brother. I don’t do that Nalenhle, I live a very
straightforward life and I give you all the assurance in the
world, you know that I only have eyes
for you. I refuse to play my fathers’ script, it almostdestroyed
the family.”
“But it’s already playing, making me look like I’m the
reason you guys have an ugly relationship, like I’m the
person standing between you,” I say.
“The moment he said he had feelings for you could’ve cut
him off but you didn’t. You could’ve told me but you didn’t.
He left, you said there was nothing left for you in Tongaat
and left as well.” His voice breaks, I understandhow deep
he’s hurt. “And you expect him to think what we have is
genuine?”
“I don’t care what anyone thinks,” I say.
“I care how you make people think of our relationship. Tome
it matters, don’t make me look stupid because I’m not
stupid, and you’re not going to like it when I show your little
friends that.”
“Okay,” I’m not going to match his energy.
This is not how I thought this trip would start, I guess it’s
what happens when you travel across the country
without letting your family knowing. I needed theirblessings.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 111
NALENHLE

He was angry, I understand, but leaving me alone at night in

a foreign place shouldn’t have been his way of expressing
himself. I was scared, I called home and toldmy aunt. She
was mad at first, asking how can I come here without letting
her know, it’s far and anything could’ve happened during the
trip and they wouldn’t
have known anything. I think she called him from her side
because it didn’t take an hour before I heard a knock. He
didn’t speak to me, he got in bed and slept. Icould smell
that he’d been drinking.
I wake up to a breakfast delivery, he’s already freshenedup
and dressed. I take a shower and dress up too, I packed my
bag yesterday and blocked Msindisi’s number, he will be
blocked for eternity.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
He keeps quiet, I know this side of him very well. Whenhe’s
mad he blows everything out of proportion, I wouldn’t be
surprised if he takes Msindisi and I to sometest.
“It breaks my heart that you reduced my mental wellnessto
just one factor, something I didn’t even take to heart, and
you assumed that I went home because of Msindisi.Then you
forgive Msindisi and hold everything against me.”
“This has nothing to do with how you feel. I don’t care how
you feel about it, so don’t waste your time telling mehow you
feel. And you’re not going to dictate how I deal with it,” he
says.
“That’s cool,” I’m trying to make peace and he’s standing on
what he said yesterday after forgiving Msindisi on thespot.
“Having a loud mouth doesn’t mean you’re always right. I
told you to create boundaries and you made it look like I was
a bad brother, knowing very well that my instincts
were right. Buying him gifts and making me look jealousfor
thinking it was inappropriate. Now you want to bring mental
health into it, mxm.”
“Nzalo, you’re not going to like it if I fight with Msindisi over
this. Trust me, he won’t just change provinces, hewill leave
the country this time around. Your mother willturn in her
grave, I wasn’t holding anything against himbut now you are
making me hate him.”
“You only bark, you don’t bite, ungazenz’ dangerous,” hesays.
“Okay,” I say.
Msindisi is now marked, hopefully him and I never sharethe
same space again because it will go down. He wanted this to
happen, there was no need for him to tell Nzalo all this, as if
it’s some big secret between us. I wouldn’t have taken him
seriously even if he wasn’t Nzalo’s brother, I have never
dated a soft boy in my life,let alone one who’s younger than
me.

Zola calls me, checking if we are okay this side.

Obviously we are not, Nzalo is blowing things out of
proportion as usual, so we are already preparing to
leave.
“How are you and Mr X?” I ask, her life is more
interesting.
“He hasn’t said anything, which is alarming at this point.”
“Maybe you should reach out,” I say.
“No, he should reach out to me, I’m not the wrong one.”
“Sometimes it’s not about who’s wrong and right, justmake
peace and…”
There’s a chuckle next to me. “Dr Phil!”
This is childish.
“I will call you back when I’m free,” I say.
“Okay, be safe,” she ends the call.
I look at him, he’s childish as fuck.
“Come to me directly, don’t be a coward,” I’m tired of theside
talks.
“Eat,” he says.
Fuck him!
.
.
.

We touch the Tongaat grounds at 9pm, I have no choicebut to

sleep over. We are not talking unless he’s
throwing a side comment. I freshen up and call my aunt to
tell her that I’m sleeping here. I was supposed to be back
home two days ago, I know I have a lot to answer when I get
home. But even that doesn’t scare me, I can’twait to leave in
the morning.
He comes out of the bathroom, whistling. I pull up the
covers and go through my videos. He moves around fora
few minutes then I hear him sitting on the bed.
“Madam,” he taps my back.
Haven’t we fought enough? Nothing can be resolved atthe
moment, emotions are high.
“Madam,” again, he’s tapping my back.I
lift my head up. “I’m tired, Nzalo.”
“So am I, but I have to know if you understand why I’m
hurt.”
Well, here we go again!“I
understand,” I say. “And?”
he asks.
“And what?” I want to sleep.
“You’re not going to take responsibility and acknowledgethat
I feel betrayed by you again. You did the same thingafter
finding out that Musa wanted to kill me. Yes, it wasgreat that
you told my uncle, but you’re my partner and Iprefer to hear
things like this from you. I thought you understand this back
then, if there’s something I need toprotect myself from let
me know, be the first one to warnme.”
“Wouldn’t it have looked like I’m turning you against each
other?” They hardly ever get along, I didn’t wanttheir
relationship to bite dust because of me.
“Who would have thought that?”
“People,” I say.
“Which people? You know what I don’t like babe, you are
always concerned about protecting Msindisi. I know you
didn’t tell me because you wanted to protect him and you
always do that at my expense.”
I take a deep breath, it is well with my soul. “I’m sorry,” Isay.
“Why do you do that Nale?” he asks.
“Because he’s younger and you don’t think when you’re
angry.”
“I don’t think?” He seems surprised.
It’s a known fact, he burns everything down when he’sangry.
“No, you act on your emotions. I think everyone had a rough
year but Msindisi is soft and he’s been confused most of the
times. Now he regrets what he said, he wasjust confused
when he tried what he tried, imagine whatwould have
happened if I reported him to you? You would’ve hurt him, I
know you.”
“I hear you, but still you acted weird,” he says.
“I guess I understood him more than I should have and I
should have distanced myself from him after that incident. I
just care about people and I don’t know how
to turn my back on people when they need my support.I’m
sorry I hurt you.”
“Thank you. Can we hug now?” He opens his arms, wehug. I
can’t believe I was wrong, I still feel justified in a way, just
narrowly.

He lies on his back and pulls me to his chest. I draw my

initials on his skin, it’s good to be good again.
“Do you know why I came to see you in the first place?” Iask.
“No, why?” His fingers are running on my back.
“I wanted to appreciate you for what you did for me the past
two weeks. You made a lot possible and helped myuncle so
much. I’ve been having good dreams of my mother ever since
her ceremony was done.”
“Really babe?”
“Yeah, I have dreamed of her dressed up in a new dressand
spraying perfume under her arms. She was obsessed with
perfumes. I interpreted the dream as her being in a happy
place.”
“What about you? Are you in a happy place?” he asks.
Am I? I cross my arms on his chest and rest my head.
I’m thinking about it, fortunately he’s not rushing me to
answer.
“I am happy,” I say.
“But…?” he asks.
“There’s no but, I am happy. I was just hoping that at some
point I’d know what she would’ve sounded like. I
don’t think I will ever make peace with the fact that she
never called my name. I wanted to have a father my whole
life but I don’t think I wanted that more than having a
talking mother. If my mother talked I wouldn’t have
wanted my father.”
He rubs his hand on my back, breathing heavily. “I can’t
imagine how you feel sthandwa sami. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay, I’m just sharing,” I say.
“Thank you for sharing with me. I wish one day you can start
looking at your mother’s abilities and not dwell on what she
couldn’t do. We all want our strengths to be highlighted, not
our weaknesses or rather the things we cannot excel in. Not
every mother is able to carry a babyfor nine months and
naturally deliver. Not every mother can feed from their
breasts, that’s why there’s baby milk in shops selling. And we
all expect mothers to naturally
fall in love with their children, but that’s not always the
case. I’d assume that your mother was a strong womanfor
bringing you on this earth, that’s number one.
Number two, you were born under difficult circumstances,
other women give up babies born in thatway because they
don’t have the mental capacity to coexist with them because
of the trauma. But your mother kept her baby and from
what you’ve told me about her, she dearly loved you.”
“She did,” I nod, my eyes are watering.
I know how strong she was but my mind just dwells on
what she wasn’t capable of doing.
“Isn’t that more valuable than her disability?” he asks.
“It is,” I say.
“Then don’t remember her as a mother who couldn’t talkor
see, just remember her as a loving, strong mother
that she was,” he says.
I feel bad, it shouldn’t have taken me this long to highlight
my mother’s capabilities and strengths. I should’ve
celebrated her more, instead I was busy
fussing about finding my father because I was obsessedwith
a parent’s voice, meanwhile there are children with normal
mothers but they don’t experience a mother’s love.
“I love you,” he says.
I lift my face, his chest is wet with my tears. “Thank you,
Nzalokayise.”
I’m thanking him for loving me and understanding me
the way he does, I didn’t think anyone beside my uncleand
his wife would ever get the kind of a person I am and
embrace me with all my imperfections and
sometimes-too-loud personality.
“Don’t call my whole name,” he says, smiling.
“Why not? Your uncle calls you that.”
“Yes, when he’s angry. So you’re making me feel like I’mabout
to receive a punishment,” he says.
“Mmmm.” I love this, it’s going to be my new techniqueof
torturing him.
.
.
.

He should drop me off and leave, but no, not him. Hethinks
I’m exaggerating when I say my aunt is more
vicious than a pitbull when angered. I have been away for
four days and the agreement between her and I wasthat I
come back home the next day. I know she's mad about me
going to Northern Cape without letting her know, given the
fact that she granted me permission to
go Tongaat without my uncle knowing, so if anything had
happened she would’ve gotten blamed.
I wanted to face her alone, I know how to deal with herwhen
she’s angry, but Nzalo is coming in with me.

Zola is outside, washing something with her feet, she’sjust

stomping on the cloth.
“Here comes the two criminals,” she says. “Is it
safe for my girl to be here?” Nzalo asks.“I don’t
know,” she laughs.
I just know they’re waiting for me inside.I
make my way in, Nzalo is behind me.
They look up simultaneously, as always.
Why am I seeing a sjambok leaning on the wall?I
stop and ask, “Whose sjambok is that?”
“It’s mine, ngenani,” my uncle says.
I’m not stupid, I stop. Nzalo proceeds in and sits where
aunty shows him.
“Uyayithwala lendlu yami?” my uncle urges me to sit
down.
I’d rather die on my feet than die sitting down. Death will
catch me running.
Nzalo clears his throat, “Good morning.”
“It’s 12pm mfana kaHadebe,” my uncle says.
“Oh, good day. We thought we’d be here at sunrise, Nale
couldn’t wait to come back home. In fact she wanted me to
bring her back yesterday but it was late.”
“Yesterday?” my aunt raises her eyebrow, turning to lookat
me. “When did you say you’d come back?”
“Saturday,” I say.
“And on Saturday night you called me in Joburg,” shesays.
“It wasn’t Joburg, it was…”
“Oh, master of Geography. Wherever you were, you didn’t
tell anyone you were going. If anything happenedto you
who would have known?”
“I was flying, there’s no signal in the air,” I say.
“Congratulations,” she’s furious. She looks at herhusband,
“Over to you, Thabethe!”
I know my way to the door. Nzalo quickly calms down
the situation, Thabethe was almost on his feet to get his
sjambok.
“I told her not to use her phone,” he says.
“Why?” they ask simultaneously.
“She didn’t know where we were going either, it was asurprise
and I didn’t want her to ruin it,” he says.
“A surprise to go fight her in Joburg and leave her aloneat
night?” my uncle.
Not every far away place is Joburg, but who am I to
correct them?
“We had an argument, my mother always advised me towalk
away and calm down than to stay when my
emotions are too high, to avoid saying things or doing
things I might regret later. I wasn’t abandoning her, I just
needed to calm down and I did apologize to her when I came
back.”
“That’s understandable, but you were still in a foreignplace
and we didn’t know anything about it. That’s disrespectful and
reckless,” my uncle says.
“It won’t happen again malume, I promise, siyaxolisa,”
Nzalo.
I think things would’ve gone south if he didn’t come in with
me. Now I can walk in and sit down with this heavybag.
Nzalo has to go, he has a thing to attend at 3:30pm.“You
have to drink juice first,” aunty says.
“Thank you aunty but I’m running late, I will drink it nexttime,”
he says.
“Okay then, drive safely,” she says.
He looks at my uncle before standing up. “This is a
beautiful sjambok malume, can I have it? This type
doesn’t sell in my town, it looks like a piece of art.”
“Ngubane sells them, he stays across the valley. You see how
he decorates the end? He mixes different wiresand…” they
walk out, he’s gifting it to Nzalo.
Finally, I can breathe. What my Nzalo can’t do doesn’texist.
“You two really think we are old,” aunty says.
I don’t know where this is coming from, honestly.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 112
NOKUZOLA

Being home is good for me, emotionally wise, but it’s alot
physically. There’s just always something to do andmy
mom is on her queen era, sometimes she just sits and
expects everything to be done for her. Yesterday she only
got up to cook for her husband, I had to cookthe main
meal from scratch. Nale is back, I can finally breathe.
Dad and I went back to Khanyile for a concoction thathelps
ease labor pains. I have heard about its side- effects,
sometimes people deliver before the baby is
ready and it ends badly. I know it’s something I need to
discuss with the father of the child before I use but himand
I are still not talking.
I have poured some and threw it away, so that they thinkI’m
drinking it. I don’t want to look ungrateful.

Mom walks in, her eyes go to the bottle first.“Is

it not too bitter?”
“Not at all,” I say.
“The one Khanyile gave me when I was pregnant withyour
brother made me puke everytime I drank it.” Shesits on my
bed and looks at my belly as I get in my sleepwear.
“You’re really going to give birth to a boy.”
“Mom!” sigh. I have told everyone not to tell me what gender
it’s going to be, it was supposed to be a surprise.
“It shows; your nose and navel. We should be thinkingabout
names, I don’t know why you’re so slow,” she says.
I know when she’s talking like this, she already hassomething
in mind.
“What have you thought of?” I ask. Xolani and I haven’t
started anything, I actually want him to give the first name.
“How about Mzwandile? I was going to give it to
Thamsanqa as his second name, it would be a good
honor to give it to my grandson.”
I laugh, I don’t mean to mock her but WTF, Mzwandile?Even
Thamsanqa is weird on him because he’s young.
“It’s meaningful,” she says.
“I know but my child is going to be in school as years go by.
No child in this century wants to be called Mzwandile by his
peers,” I say.
“It’s a good name, don’t give him these trending namesthat
turn boys into dagga boys. Have you talked to Hadebe?”
“No,” I say.
She sighs, I already see the look of disapproval.“Do
you want it to be resolved, whatever it is?”
“It will be resolved, ma.” I’m not interested in talking
about my issues with Xolani.
I cannot share them with her, it will permanently ruin his
image. So there’s no point because she won’t understand
why I’m angry at him without getting the
details.
“I don’t want you to be a single mother,” she says.
“I don’t think I’d be a single mother even if we don’t work
out.” I know he kills even his own blood with no remorsebut
I believe he’d take care of his child regardless of how our
relationship turns out.
“Be careful not to push away a man who loves you.
There are things you have to put up with in a relationship
and some shames you have to cover up asa woman. No
man is perfect, you can go all around the
world searching, you will find none. It’s rare to find a man
that elevates you the way he has.” She’s singing praises,
only because she doesn’t know that MaNdleladoesn’t have
a son because of her son-in-law.
“Another thing, you have to make him want to come
home to you,” she says.
“If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to,” I say.
“Listen to me, I’m giving you an advice. I know you don’tcook
or clean for him, but that’s no excuse, your presence still
need to be loud in his house. Have you ever seen your father
sleep out?”
“No,” I say.
“And why do you think he doesn’t? Because there’s
something special about home. I make it homely, in thekitchen
and in the bedroom.”
Yikes!
“Ma, please,” I don’t want to hear their bedroom
shenanigans.
“Yes, you have to be a woman, you need to know thesethings.
Keep your man happy and the best way to do
that is to boost his ego. How do you boost his ego? Respect
him, when he comes home make it look like your life has
been on pause in his absence, be lively.Serve him, ask about
his day, get in the bedroom andmassage his foot.”
His foot? I hope she means the real foot.
“That sounds like a lot of work, I’m heavily pregnant.”
“Make efforts,” she insists.
I know I’m not going to win this argument with her, so I
eventually just agree with everything she says.

I have reduced my TV time, I sleep earlier than usual and

wake before 10am everyday. We join everyone inthe lounge
and watch TV, there are soapies no SouthAfrican family miss.
Thami goes out to pee and comes back saying there’s ablack
car parked by the road. It’s after 8pm, that raises eyebrows.
Nale steps aside and calls Nzalo, then comesback looking
relaxed. It definitely not Nzalo, maybe someone else within
the neighbors.
“Maybe it’s Mr X,” she whispers to me.
“I doubt.” I have also checked my phone and he hasn’tsent
any messages.
“What if it’s robbers?” she asks, loudly.
Everyone looks puzzled now. I feel a bit uncomfortable, I
know which family drive black cars. I ask Thami to
accompany me so that I can confirm if it’s not someone I
know.

His lights are dimmed, as we get closer I start

recognizing the car.
“Should I leave?” Thami asks.
“No, come,” I don’t know if I can trust someone who just
parks in the dark.
I walk to the window and knock; it rolls down.
It’s him, wearing a white cap and Sundowns jersey.“Hey,
what are you doing here?” I ask.
“Nothing, just parked,” he says.
“You’re scaring my family. What’s going on?”“With
what Nokuzola?”
Really, is this what we are doing now?
I look back at Thami, “Please tell them not to worry.”
He runs back home, I don’t want him to see thisclowning
from a grown man.
“Xolani seriously, you can’t just come here unannouncedand
park your car near my father’s house at night,” I say.
“I will park somewhere else,” he says and starts the
engine.
“Wait!” I release a deep sigh, I shouldn’t be outside at this
time while I’m this pregnant, it attracts bad spirits. “Why
are you here?”
“Why should I explain myself to you? Did you tell me why
are you here?”
“I’m home, there’s a difference,” I say.
“I said I will go and park somewhere else since I’m no
longer allowed anywhere near your father’s house but my
cows are allowed in his kraal.”
Pheeww!!!
“Do you want us to talk?” I ask.
“About what? What’s there to talk about?”
“Don’t act shady, my family is here and I don’t know what
your intentions are.” I will never trust a serial killerwho just
parks around my home at night with no explanation.
“I have no intentions, just here to be around just in case
anything happens to my baby since you decided not to go
for your maternity check-up appointment.”
“It wasn’t that important and I rescheduled,” I say.“Okay,”
he says.
“Is that all? My family wants to sleep.”
He scoffs, “How am I stopping them?”
“Xolani, this is disrespectful. Would you like it if Purity’s
babydaddy came and did this around your house?”
“If your father tells me to leave, I will.”
This is not going anywhere, he’s here to start a fight andhe’s
disregarding my family’s peace while at it. He reverses and
parks just one yard away. At this point thewhole village will
be alarmed by this strange car parked in the dark.

I return back home, hoping they are all gone to beds, butit
looks like they’re waiting for me.
“Is everything alright with Hadebe?” dad asks.
I want to ask him to go and chase Xolani away, but I feellike
it’s going to be dramatic for no reason.
“Yeah, everything is okay,” I say.
Mom looks at me suspiciously. “Is he still here?”
“Yes, I will pack my bag and leave with him. The car willbe
here, I will make a plan for it to be fetched,” I say.
“Is he here to fetch you by dark?” dad.
“No, there’s an emergency back in the house.” I hatehim
for making me leave this way.
I love my family, I don’t want them to be involved in
Xolani’s madness because I know things may escalate. And
he kills, so I don’t want to take any chances. I get inmy room
and start packing.
The door opens, Nale has followed me.“Is
everything really okay?” she asks.
“He’s acting weird, I don’t want anything to happen toyou
guys.”
“Zola please, how weird? Is he angry?”
“No, he’s not but he doesn’t want to tell me why he’s here.
He’s changing the parking spot instead, he doesn’twant to
leave. What if he comes and burns our house?”
“Come on, Mr X is not crazy,” she laughs.
“He is crazy. Please keep your phone close, I will callyou if he
does anything strange.”
She stops laughing and frowns. “Are you serious? If youfeel
threatened we should call the police.”
“No, I will call you if he does something. I’m not saying he
will, I just don’t trust him. Don’t tell anyone, please.”
“Jeez!” she blows out a sigh.
“Promise me, Nale.”
“Okay, I won’t tell anyone.”
.
.
.

He knew I’d come back, he didn’t ask why I had my bagor

why I left my own car behind. As soon as I got inside the car
he drove off. We just arrived and he hasn’t said anything to
me. The house feels empty and cold. I won’tlie, I do feel
scared.
I came all the way here in my pyjamas, I’m exhausted but I’m
not getting in bed until he talks to me. He’s in thebalcony
talking to someone on the phone.
My own rings, it’s Nale.
I answer, “Hey, I was about to call you. I arrived safely.”“Is
everything else okay?” she asks.
“We haven’t spoken, he’s outside talking to someone onthe
phone.”
“I’m not sleeping until you tell me it’s safe to be there.Can I
talk to him when he comes back to the room?”
I know Nale can handle this with a few insults but I want him
to talk to me, not her.
“No, it’s okay,” I say.
“Are you scared?” She sounds concerned.“I
am,” I say, truthfully.
“I’m not going to drop, put the phone upside down nextto
you.”
I do as told, she might hear things she’s not supposed tohear
but she won’t sleep unless she knows for sure that I’m safe.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 113
NOKUZOLA

He walks inside, looking down at his phone. I’m sitting on

the edge of the bed. He sits on his side and chargeshis
phone.
“Xolani,” I’m scared.
He takes a deep breath and turns his eyes to me.
“Why are you acting weird?”
“By doing what?” he asks.
“Threatening my family, silently as you did. Now you’re
making calls and not talking to me after I packed my bagand
followed you here.”
“I didn’t threaten your family and I’m making calls because I
have businesses that are running at this time.”
“They felt threatened,” I say.
“Really? Nokuzola, you were supposed to be here on
Tuesday, last week. I waited for your call, any reasonable
person would call and inform their partnersabout their
decisions. You stay here with me but you couldn’t tell me
you have decided to move out and go back home. Weren’t
you mad at Nale about the same thing?”
“It’s different, Nale didn’t find out anything about me, she
wasn’t scared of me when she left.” This is weird, she’s
listening to us.
“So you’re scared of me? What have I ever done to
you?”
“You’re capable of the things that you’re capable of and Idon’t
feel safe.”
“What am I capable of?” he asks.
“Really? You know very well what you told me that day.”“None
of it had anything to do with you or your family.”
“Even so, show me that you’re a human, don’t be
nonchalant about things like that.”
“So you want me to apologize for protecting myself
against my brother?”
“Robyn,” I say.
I don’t want Nale to hear about Nzalo’s father.
“You didn’t even like Robyn, now you’re mourning her death
and fighting for her justice? Nokuzola it took you months to
love Onathi, a child that was created before you. You wouldn’t
have accepted Robyn’s child if it was
mine, but now you’re fighting me? I know it’s not because
you care about all those people, my brother hurt me,
Robyn could’ve destroyed me, and you’re just using them to
fight me because you’ve told me many
times that you don’t love me. And I keep choosing not to
believe you, so now you are doing everything in your power
to make it hard for me to love you.”
“So you want me to just accept and smile? Xolani you
killed a pregnant woman and your own brother, your
blood!” I’m getting emotional, all I want is him to be sorry,
then I will know he’s going to change and be a better
person.
“I had my reasons, Nokuzola!’ he says, his voice rising.I
break into tears, how am I family with such a man?
How can he not see his wrongs?
“I never had anyone protecting me my whole life. I hadto
stand up for myself, it won’t make sense to you because
you have parents who love you and siblings
who would kill for you. You don’t know how it’s like to be
alone, to have everything taken away from you by someone
who was supposed to protect you. That’s whyit’s easy for you
to use that against me, to hurt me with my past.”
Didn’t we talk about that? I apologized for what I said.
“Sbusiso had 56 years to make things right and apologize for
the way he treated me. He never did, evenon his deathbed I
wasn’t invited, he had my ex-girlfriendnext to him. His bills
were paid off my creativity and I was a mockery for being a
loser. Until you experience
anything I have been through, don’t talk to me aboutapologies
and forgiveness. I’m not sorry and I won’t
forgive someone who never apologized to me. I love his
children to death, I will protect them and make sure theydo
things right and don’t turn out like him. Greedy and allowing
a woman to get between them, and that’s the only thing I
can do for him- loving his children. Not apologizing, not
sorry!”
He's never raised his voice at me like this, his hands are
shaking. I still don’t think what he did was right but it’s okay,
I will let it rest because it’s poking old wounds.
“Are you going to acknowledge Robyn’s baby?” I ask ascalm as
I can be.
“I got cleansed, her and I weren’t married so the child
would’ve belonged to her family.” He’s not a kind person,
that’s one thing I’m discovering. He doesn’t feel pain for
losing a baby simply because the mother threatened himto
expose his secrets.
“Is this how you’re going to always deal with people whohurt
you or betray you?” I ask.
“I don’t know but all I know is that I will never let anyone
treat me the way I was treated when I was a nobody. I will
always protect myself by any means possible,” he says.
In short, he’s not going to stop having his enemies killed.My
mind switches to the phone and I quickly grab it and press the
power button. Nale has already heard a lot
though, I got too emotional and forgot she was still onthe
line.
“Were you recording me?” he asks.
“What? No, why would I do that?”
“Because you hate me, give me the phone.”
“No,” I’m not giving him my phone.
He grabs it from my hand, now this is taking an uglyturn. I
said no, he’s violating my privacy.
“What’s the password?” he asks.
“You have no right to be going through my phone, I toldyou
that I wasn’t recording you,” I say.
“Nokuzola unlock this phone!” he says firmly.
I’m not unlocking it, I didn’t record anything and that’sthe
word he should trust. I blink once and see it flying
and smashing on the wall. I let out a scream, its pieces scatter
around the floor. He smashed my phone, with allmy contacts
and memories inside.
“Why did you break my phone?” I’m shaking, that’s howangry
I am.
“Because you cannot betray me and by keeping a
recording of what I said you will be tempted to.”
“I didn’t record you, what the hell Xolani?” I cry loudlyand
openly.
I’ve had this phone for a year now, I bought it with my hard-
earned money and he decided to break it becausehe thinks
everyone is after him. Why would I keep a recording of his
dirty laundry?
He squats on the floor and removes the sim card fromthe
broken skeleton. He takes his phone from the
charger and removes the sim card and inserts mine. ButI
want my phone, the one he broke, not his.
.
.
.

It’s midnight, I’m sleeping on the couch in the lounge

downstairs. I just opened my eyes to Nzalo standing over
me. He hands me the phone, I put it on my ear.
“Zola,” that’s Nale.
“Hey, I’m okay,” I say.
“What happened? The call ended and I couldn’t get holdof you
anymore,” she asks.
“Xolani smashed my phone on the wall and broke it, he
thought I was recording him. I told him I wasn’t but he didn’t
care.” Talking about it bring tears to my eyes.
“He must buy you another one,” she says.
“I don’t want another one, I want the one he broke.”“But
nawe uyasho nje, he broke it,” she says.
Always insensitive!
“I want the one he broke,” I repeat.
I hear a sigh, “Okay, let’s hope he can glue it backtogether. I
was worried about you, I only told Nzalobecause I was asking
him to come over.”
“That’s fine, I appreciate it, now have some sleep.”
Nzalo takes the phone, I can see that he’s worried. I don’t
know where Xolani is, I left him upstairs and camedown
here.
“Neighbors are concerned, they heard you crying. Didhe
hurt you?”
“I was crying because he broke my phone,” I say.
“You’re pregnant and sleeping on the couch, that’s not right.
I will ask him to leave the bedroom for you to sleep
comfortably.”
“No, it’s his house,” I say.
“Let me call him…” he disappears in the stairway.
There’s a phone next to me, the one I refused, he’sforcing it
down my throat.

Nzalo comes back with him, my eyes start burning

again.
Nzalo stands, he sits down.
“He’s going to sleep in another bedroom, are you goingback to
bed?”
“No, I want my phone,” I say.
“Babomncane, why did you break the phone?”
Silence.
Really?
“He said I was recording our argument and then broke it
because I refused to unlock it,” I say.
Nzalo looks at him judgmentally.
“Thanks for coming, I will let her sleep in the bedroom,”he
says.
“But what is the problem? I’m not comfortable leavingyou in
this state,” Nzalo.
“You’re my child, I’m not discussing my relationship
issues with you. Close the door on your way out.” He
doesn’t look remorseful about my phone either.
“Okay then, who are you going to talk to babomncane? You
don’t get along with anyone except us, your cousinswill
celebrate and you know it. You don’t have any
brother, I’m the only person you can talk to right now.”
This boy is very stubborn, his uncle also knows it.
“What’s going on is that Nokuzola wants me to beg for her
love. I can’t make mistakes, any little imperfection isenough
to validate her hurting me. I’m not happy, I haveto work for
every little affection that I get. I cannot do anything wrong
and expect her to overlook it. No, if
there’s anything Nokuzola will never do, it isunderstanding
me.”
Nzalo didn’t know it would be this deep. I could’ve handled
the situation differently but nothing makes me abad person
for taking time out to digest his past. I don’t
think any woman would just laugh and hug a man who
confesses to murder.
“I know a relationship therapist,” Nzalo says.
“I don’t need a relationship therapist, I need someone tolove
me for once. I have proven to Nokuzola that I love her. She
cannot sit here and say I don’t love her because she knows
that I do. I want unconditional love
too, just for once,” he says.
“And I want my phone Xolani,” I say.
“I replaced your phone. Can you love me
unconditionally?”
“I do love you unconditionally,” I say.
“Google the word: unconditionally. How many times
have you said you don’t love me, you’re just with me
because you’re pregnant?”
“I said it once. Isn’t what you wanted by sending your
delegate home without my knowledge? Didn’t you wantme
to stay with you even when there’s no love anymore? You
wanted something to hold me back, right?”
“So…so, I’m holding you back?” His voice shatters.
“I’m just pointing out something. You do crazy things andcall
them little imperfections Xolani. If I killed somebody would
you call it an imperfection?”
“You wouldn’t kill somebody, we would kill somebody,”he
says.
Gangster love, huh? That’s not what I’m into. I want no
killings.
“And that’s the difference between you and I. I love you, I
can die for you Nokuzola and I’d go to prison with you. But
you wouldn’t do the same for me.”
“That’s true, I’d stay home and take care of your kids until
you come out. I’m not Robyn and I never will be. Iwill
reprimand you and tell you when you’re wrong. I’mnot the
type of a woman who’d help you clean a crimescene,
instead I will hold accountable for your actions and make
sure it sinks into your big head that I will nottolerate the
same behavior in future. That is that, so I guess I’m not
your type after all.”
He takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling.
Nzalo looks confused.
“Thank you for coming over,” I say.
He checks his uncle and gets no disapproval, then
leaves.
We sit in long silence, then he throws away the cushionand
sits up.
“Are you coming to bed?” “Nzalo
said you will sleep in…”“Yes or no
Nokuzola?”
Deep breath!
“I’m coming,” I say.
HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 114
NOKUZOLA

He has a history of murdering people who cross him. He

broke my phone because he thought I recorded him andI was
going to use it against him some day. Then told hisnephew
that I didn’t love him, Nzalo will obviously remember that
everytime he sees me. I can count my
fingers out if I had to mention everything that’s wrong
with that man. But it’s now either I stay or leave, and I
don’t think he’d stop me now if I decide to leave. He’s
tired, there’s no fighting spirit left in him.

I have given everyone a short day, I wanted to be alone.I

have never done anything in this house, I have lived here for
months but still nothing identifies me. The easiest place to
start with is the closet. I have to arrangeit the way I want. I
should be the one who knows where his grey socks are,
where his blue T-shirt is and so forth.I mix our coats and add
my bracelets in his drawer.
I want people to ask me where things are, the same waythey
ask my mom at home. Something about my presence needs
to be cemented.
I rearrange the kitchen and wrap up my rearranging tourin
the bathroom. Then I drive out to town to buy a few
things and fetch my food order. He always stops me
from cooking so I know how he feels about my food. But
I’m going to give it a homely look, just to make my mom
proud.

This dinner set is the first thing I have bought in this kitchen. I
have set up for dinner, I’m just waiting for him
to come home. We last spoke last night when Nzalo washere,
when I woke up in the morning he was already gone for work.
It’s past 7pm and he’s still not home.
Usually he comes home by 6pm, I’m a little worried now,
I have made efforts for him to come home to a livelyfiancé as
my mother advised.
I rest on the couch, I’m not used to the phone he gaveme,
I have been watching TV almost the whole day.
Finally, his car arrives. I hope didn’t go out drinking, Ineed
him to see my efforts in sober senses.

He walks in, our eyes meet and he looks sober.“Hey,” I

stand up.
“Hi,” he puts down his bag, looking a bit confused.
I wish I can take his bag upstairs but climbing thosestairs is a
problem. So I just help him off his jacket.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“I made dinner and you’re eating before showering.”
“You made dinner?” He’s going to run.
“I didn’t cook it, I made it,” I say.
“You bought the food?” he asks.
“I didn’t cook it, I made it.” Saying it’s bought is reducingthe
hard work I put into the preparations.
“Okay,” he says.
He washes his hands and follows me, he doesn’t look
excited as I expected him to be.
I pull a chair, he sits.“I
made livers,” I say.
“Okay, made,” he nods.
“Chakalaka, creamy spinach, short breads and lots of
salad.” I dish everything on his place, making the best
presentation that I can possibly do. He’s looking at his
plate, then at me.
“Eat,” I say.
“Are you not eating?” he asks.
Please don’t tell me he thinks I’m trying to poison him.
I take a fork and eat some from his plate. I already ate,I’m
just showing him that I’m not trying to kill him.
“See, there’s no poison,” I say.
He picks the fork, “I didn’t say there was poison.”
“But that’s what you think. Why would I kill the father ofmy
little peanut?”
I finally get him smiling. I’m in my full Khululiwe’s daughter
mode, even pouring water for him as he speaks. I don’t
think I will do the foot massage though,I’m already tired as
it is.
Wait a minute!
“Do you notice anything new?” I ask.
“Yes, your behavior,” he says.
“I’m talking about the things on our table.”
He looks around, then shakes his head. My heart breaks, I
hunted for the most unique dinner set and hecan’t even
notice it.
“I bought a new dinner set,” I say with my heart broken.“Oh
shit! Yeah, I see,” he’s lying.
“No, it’s fine, I’m not offended.” I am highly offended.
“It’s so beautiful, no wonder the food tastes so good.”
I roll my eyes, I didn’t even cook this food. It’s almosttime for
dessert anyway, I leave the table and fetch it
from the refrigerator. I kept my own, we are going to eat
together.
I went an extra mile decorating his with icing, drawing a
heart.
He chuckles, “What’s happening Nokuzola? Yesterday you
hated me, today you’re nice to me and doing thingsyou’ve
never done for me before.”
“I’m always nice, it’s just that sometimes being with youis
challenging. There are things I’m not understanding enough
to ignore. But what you said yesterday to Nzalowas a lie,
you know that I love you, and no matter how bad things can
be I will always end back in your arms. Ithink if there’s
anything you know about me, is that I don’t have eyes for
any other man and you’re the only
person in my heart. If I’m lying, tell me where I’d go if Iwas
to leave you.”
“I don’t know,” he’s smiling because he knows the truth.
He’s the only man I’m with, he has my heart, just not mymind.
“So you really think I don’t love you?” I ask.
“I think you do but when you’re angry you make things
hard for me,” he says.
“It’s funny because there would be ten things and out ofthem
only two would make me angry and you’d leave
the eight and do the two that make me angry. I don’t get
angry easily, especially with you. I love you and I appreciate
everything you do for me. I know your love and I’d hope
you’d testify on mine too, one day. I don’t want our love to
be toxic, I want us to tell our children when they grow up
about the love that we shared, and Iwant them to be
inspired.”
He inhales sharply and blows out heavily. “Do you think Iwill
be a bad example?”
“There are so many great things about you, Xolani. A lotof
them, you as a father, as a man, an uncle and business
owner. There’s so much to learn from you.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t work on your
weaknesses. For instance, you don’t forgive, which is
fine because you don’t have to fake it if you don’t feel it.The
problem starts when grudges turn you into an evil person,
then there’s no difference between you and theperson who
did you wrong.”
“I’m nothing like Sbusiso,” he says.
“He smashed MaMkhwanazi; you smashed Thobile. Hekilled
the mother of his children; you killed Robyn who was
carrying your child, meaning she was the mother ofyour
child. See, there’s no difference now because you allowed
anger to control you.”
He takes a deep breath, it’s registering in his head. He puts
down the ice-cream and takes his water, then gulpsit all
down. Unfortunately, I didn’t like, he’s everything hisbrother
was.
“I didn’t want this to be a heavy dinner, let’s talk aboutyour
beard,” I say.
His brows furrow, “What about my beard?”
“It looks like a goat’s beard and I don’t like it.”
“What? It’s not even long.” He takes the phone and looks at
his reflection on the screen. Then he starts laughing. Yes, it’s
not long, but it has a weird shape. Ican’t stand it.

I state problems and give solutions. I take the electric

shaver that I bought, it rotates and has a rechargeable
clipper.
“Wow!” he chuckles, shaking his head.
I give it to him and unpack the second gift of the day.
“Now, on a positive note, I like how you always smell.
Elegant, expensive and loud. I can tell when you enterthe
room, you stand out,” I say.
He’s smiling, ego-boosted!
“So I bought you two tickets to the MTN8 finals, you can only
take a male friend with you.” I know it sounded like I was
going to gift him a perfume, nope it’s a new
Sundowns jersey and a ticket that I purchased for him
online, I don’t like to be predictable.
Okay, why am I not getting any reaction?
“Xolani?” I want him to be happy, otherwise I’m returningall
these things.
No, not this again!
I know I’m not usually giving and nice, but he can’t be
emotional everytime I do something good for him.
“Please don’t cry, I can’t get up from this chair again and
come to you,” I say.
He chuckles and wipes his eyes. “I love you so much.”
He gets up and comes to me. I stand up, we embrace
tightly.
“What must I do for us to stay like this forever?” he says,
kissing my forehead.
“Open your heart for the people that love you. Let love
surround your soul and spirit, not pain. That’s all. You have
your brother’s kids, your own kids and this beautiful tall
woman to focus on.”
“Tall, right?” he asks.
My head is below his chest but I dentify as tall.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

It took everything in me not to say anything to my uncle.I

had to respect Zola’s wishes, Mr X doesn’t have a solid
relationship with his in-laws, if they found out about him
breaking Zola’s phone it would’ve been a mess. I’m relieved
to hear back from her saying they’ve resolved all their issues.
However, there’s something I heard that I cannot unhear. Mr
X killed Nzalo’s dad, his own
brother, and he killed Robyn. I don’t feel anything particularly
about the two deceased but the image of himthat I had
changed. Who kills a pregnant woman when
there’s a possibility that she’s carrying your child? Mr Xis
dangerous.
I don’t know how Nzalo would feel if he found out that his
uncle killed his dad. Maybe he’d be disappointed because Mr
X has been acting like a victim. I don’t think he’d hold it
against Mr X though because if his father was alive when
Musa confessed there’s a possibility thatNzalo would’ve
killed him to avenge his mother.
Is he in my head? Can’t I peacefully think about him?I
pick up, “Hello muntu wethu.”
“Babe can I see you? I just turned into the gravel.”
“Really?” This is a nice surprise.
I’m bored out of fuckin’ brains.
“Yes,” he says, there’s a hint of emergency in his voice.
I rush to my room to change, I quickly comb my hair and
sneak out without anyone noticing. I walk up the road, we’ll
meet on the way.

I see his car and stop under a tree shade. He pulls up, Iget
inside and then we look for a safe spot to park. My man
looks handsome; fresh haircut and trimmed beard.
“I have missed you,” I kiss his lips.
“Babe, I’m not here for kiss-kiss.”
“What do you mean?” He mustn’t come here to spoil my
mood.
I have tender lips and I’m a good kisser.
He takes a deep breath, “The pill babe, the pill.”
“Are you on drugs Nzalo?” I’m confused, what kind of pillis he
on?
“We didn’t buy the pill, your pill,” he says.
“I think you’re making a mistaken, I don’t take any
medication.”
He takes a brown Pharmacy bag. “This pill Nale. Do youthink
it’s still going to work?”
I faint.
“Nalenhle,” he calls.
Am I supposed to hear him after fainting?
Ok, I blanked out, I didn’t faint.
“It’s been way too long,” I can’t believe I can still speak.“So
what should I do?” he asks.
Son of Abraham! What have I done? How can I remember to
eat and drink water but forget the mostimportant thing.
“I don’t know. What should I do?” I ask him.“I
don’t know,” he says.
I need to breathe; one long breath. I think pregnancytest
and implanon after I get my negative results.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 115
NALENHLE

I’m diagnosing myself with depression even though I’ve only

been stressed for less than 12 hours. I feel hopeless, like I’m
sinking into a dark place and there’s no way out. I haven’t
gotten out of my room, Nzalo gaveme money to go and buy
a pregnancy test and get an implanon inserted by a doctor.
But I’m scared, buying a pregnancy test felt good when I was
buying it for Zola. I knew I wasn’t pregnant, I just took one to
mock Satan.
Now it’s different, I feel like even the cashier will judge me
when I buy it. At this age and time who still sleeps without
a condom?
Damn, I’m losing weight.
“Are you okay in here?” that’s my aunt.
I grab my jacket quickly before she enters the door.“I’m
okay,” I say.
“You haven’t eaten your breakfast. Didn’t you say you will
go and do your hair at Nolwazi's house today?” sheasks.
I have to fake amnesia. “Oh my goodness, I totally
forgot. But it’s okay, I will go tomorrow.”
She looks around, then back at me. “Are you sure that
you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m very sure,” I say.
She sighs and comes to my bed. She knows me like theback
of her hand; she sits and stares at me.
“What’s going on? I hope not another relationship fight,God
help me!”
Well, I always talk to her about everything, she even knew
when my virginity was broken. I don’t think there’sanything
too much to hide from her.
“I think I forgot to drink the morning-after pill,” I say.She
looks at me, doesn’t say a word or react.
I clear my throat, making a way for lies to pass through. “We
tried getting condoms but there was no shop sellingthem. It is
a very religious neighborhood, so we
thought…ummm…we planned to buy a pill to clean thenext
day. But then we had a fight, it slipped our minds.”
“So you didn’t drink the pill?” she asks.
“Yes, I think I didn’t,” I say.
“Are you okay in the head, Nalenhle? What did we talk
about before you left? Do you think every mother, every
aunt, out there reminds their daughters about safe sex as
much as I do? And you still don’t appreciate me and go do
the opposite of what I say.”
“I swear malumekazi, it was a mistake,” I say.“So,
are you pregnant?” She’s on her feet.
“I don’t know but I hope not,” I say.
“Hope doesn’t make a woman pregnant, opening your legs
and not using protection does. Take a bath ke and get
dressed, we will go and find out. You’re lucky it’s themobile
clinic day.”
“No, I’m going to buy a pregnancy test, I don’t want to goto a
mobile clinic,” I say.
“And I must believe that? You always say you’re going todo
one thing and then do the opposite. Get reaady Nalenhle, I
will go with you.”
Why did I tell her? Sigh.
.
.
.
Knowing that you might be pregnant is one thing, havingyour
aunt walk you to a mobile clinic to check is another thing.
She’s counting all the times she told me about
safe sex as we climb the hill. I can’t say she’s lying, shehas
never been shy to preach safe sex to us, I don’t know why
we are like this.
We reach the clinic, nurses have arrived. What I hate about
mobile clinics is that they're always full of locals and they’re
nosy. I’m holding my breath hoping this woman I’m with
calms down and doesn’t rant in front ofpeople. Luckily she’s
occupied by an old friend who’s
telling her about a troublesome husband. I have registered,
now I’m in the queue for consultation.

I’m getting closer, she abandons her friend and comesto sit
next to me.
“You must tell the nurse that you don’t care about sexual
transmitted diseases and falling pregnant, that’s why you are
here,” she says.
I keep quiet, I’m not saying that to the nurse.
“Have you both checked your HIV statuses in the last 3
months?”
“He’s negative, so am I,” I say.
“In the last 3 months have you checked?”
Sigh!
“No,” I say.
“Then you’re taking two tests.”
She gives me no privacy when I enter the consultation
caravan. We both sit on the plastic chairs, before I say
anything she starts telling the nurse everything. Me
going to Northern Cape, which is Joburg in her words, and
throwing away all my home training and entertainingNzalo
without thinking about my future first.
“Now, she couldn’t even eat breakfast. Where is theboy?”
Nurse shakes her head, like I’m a hopeless child andshe
can relate to my aunt on everything.
“Let’s do the test, then she will go to the counsellor anddo
the other test.” She gives me a container to pee in, now this
shit feels too real and scary.
Is it possible? I don’t think God would ignore when I askfor
Lotto numbers and decide to gift me a human being.
I return with the pee, she dips the stick in and tells me to
throw it away and rinse the comtainer. I wish I could have
been alone, I’m not underage, there’s no need for my aunt to
be present.
She waits a few minutes and then takes the white stick.She
looks at it and then turns it to me. I see them, two bloody
lines, and I run out of breath. My whole world halts into a
stop.
God, not me, please!
.
.
.

I have tried some crocodile tears but it didn’t work. My

biggest fear is telling my uncle. Mine is really getting
pregnant at home; Zola was away, hers is better. I
disrespected my uncle’s house and I know he’s going tobe
angry, he just accepted Zola’s pregnancy, now me.
I’m hungry, I take my breakfast to the lounge and eat.
“Are you going to tell your uncle alone or with your
partner-in-crime?”
“I will call Nzalo,” I say.
Nzalo knows how to get my uncle soft.
I try calling him twice before he finally answers.“I
have bad news,” I say.
“What is it?” he asks.
“I went to the clinic and I’m pregnant.” “Eish
babe, yoh! What are we going to do?”
“Nothing, it is what it is,” I say.
“We wanted to travel the world before having a baby. Idon’t
know if eight months is enough to do that,” he says. His
biggest worry right now is traveling.
“We will talk about that, right now we need to talk aboutyou
coming here so that we can tell my uncle,” I say.
“Tell your uncle? Yazi babe ngikude kanjani, I’m very far.
Remember I had to go to Port Elizabeth?”
“No, I don’t remember that,” I say.
“I must’ve told you in my head. But I’m in Port Elizabeth
right now and I don’t know when I’m coming back.” I
know his office background wind, he’s not in PortElizabeth.
I can’t believe he’s not coming through when it’s most
important. We should tell my uncle together, not just me
alone. I didn’t make this baby by myself.
“What is he saying?” my aunt asks.
“He’s not coming. Can’t we keep it from malume for a
while? I still need to digest it and make peace in my
heart,” I say.
“Just for today,” she says.
I don’t know why she’s rushing to have her husband
informed because she knows that he will be heart broken.

.
.
.
SKHUNDLA THABETHE

His wife is not okay, at first he just thought it’s a bad mood
but they are about to sleep and she still looks thesame. After
taking off his T-shirt, he gets in bed and lieson the side facing
his wife.
“Today you’re almost unrecognizable,” he says.“I’m
just tired, Thabethe,” she says.
“Oh, I thought it was something else.” He kisses her
cheek and looks at her, smiling.
She releases a deep sigh and shifts her attention to her
husband.
“Did you enjoy dinner?” She couldn’t ask at the table.
“Too much nkosikazi but I’m still hungry,” she says. “For
food?” She raises her brows.
He chuckles, “No, I just want sugar.”
They’ve done it two times already this week.
“Uyezwa mama?” he whispers, his hand touching her
breasts.
“They’re still watching TV,” she says.
“They won’t hear anything.” He puts his knee between her
legs and squeezes her big breats. His schlong startsthrobbing,
he kisses her on the lips. “They won’t hear anything dali,
ngizothi nje kambalwa and we will
continue later after they have gone to beds.”
She cannot deprive her husband access to the only organ
that makes him cry like a baby. Her legs spread,Thabethe’s
hand slides in between and grabs her thicklabia.
“Mmmm, it’s hard not to miss you,” he says, pushing his
fingers in her core.
Their lips lock, his fingers spreads her wetness all around her
opening. The she lies on her back, Thabethelies between her
legs and slowly pushes his hard
schlong in. They cannot make any noise; he moanssoftly as
her warmth embraces him tightly.
“I have been wanting this the whole day,” he says, in alow
whisper.
She moans in response, tightening her arms around him.
He’s deep in her core, her creamy juices spills outas he
thrusts in and out. It becomes unbearable to holdin their
pleasure sounds.
“Oh, Thabethe!” she moans as Thabethe pounds harderinto
her.
“Mntakwethu waze wafudumala kamnandi,” Thabethegroans.
She holds her legs up, Thabethe pulls out, his schlong
coated by her creaminess. He taps it on her hairy pubicarea,
shooting his last seeds there. Then he falls down next to her
and holds her tight.
They catch their breaths, his arm thrown around her.
His eyes finally open, he smiles. “It gets better
everyday.”
She blushes, sometimes he makes her feel like a
girlfriend.
“Sinani les’bumbu mntakwethu, mmm?” He teases her,poking
her chubby cheek.
“Nothing Thabethe,” she says softly.
“Your husband is happy, I love you mntakwethu.”
“I love you too, Thabethe.” They stare into each other’seyes.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set my eyeson.”
“Ay Thabethe, stop deceiving me.” She buries her faceon his
chest.
Thabethe runs his hands on her back soothingly.
She exhales softly, “Ey my love, Nalenhle has fallenpregnant
too.”
Thabethe stops, “What are you saying Khululiwe?”
“She’s pregnant, my love,” she says, drawing on hischest
with her fingers.
Thabethe takes a deep breath. Are these girls trying to create
a milk factory? This makes no sense at all. Didn’tNalenhle
learn from her cousin?
“Don’t tell her that I told you,” she says.“I
won’t,” his hand is on her hip.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 116
NALENHLE

My uncle knows something, he hasn’t said a word to mesince

his wife and I discovered that I'm pregnant. I’m disappointed
in her to be honest, she could’ve kept quietuntil I’m ready to
announce to the whole family. I will announce, officially,
when Nzalo comes forward. He keeps making work excuses,
he wants me to face my
uncle alone, I feel like a single mom already. I can’t say I’ve
accepted this pregnancy, I just find it hard to believethat
someone smart as I am would fall pregnant so easily. I know
better than to let a man hits it raw, I should’ve insisted on a
condom. See where I am now, alone and pregnant.
“We need to talk,” she says, walking in.
I sit up straight and lower the TV volume.
She sits with a heavy sigh. “We should go and report the
pregnancy.”
Huh?
“Do we have to?”
“Yes,” she says.
“But Nzalo won’t deny his baby and everyone knowsthat
we are together. He even sent his uncles to propose,” I
really don’t think it’s necessary.
“They came here to count stones, his family should know
that he’s done this kind of damage and pay for it.”She’s not
changing her mind about this.
“But Nzalo has no mother, who are we reporting to?”
“Whoever we find in the family, akaqhumanga etsheninje.”
Sigh.
My problems are multiplying.
“I will call and let him know,” I say.
“There’s no need, it’s not a friendly visit. Do you want togo
with me or other young ladies?”
Definitely not other young ladies unless I want this to beall
over the village before I even get a belly.
“With you,” I say.
“Okay, we will go tomorrow.”
I’m not looking forward to it.

Khanyisa is home, we haven’t hung out in a while. We are

friends, just not best friends as we were growing up.I take a
walk, sitting on the couch the whole day will drive me crazy.
I pass by her mother’s house and ask achild to call her.
She’s glowing and gaining some weight. Work is treatingher
good.
“I was cleaning and coming to see you,” she says. “You can
still come, I’m just taking a walk. You look
good, New Universe is treating you better than it treated
me,” I say.
She chuckles, “Having my own money is what treating me
good. Now I can afford to take care of my son, you don’t
know what you did for me.”
“I’m happy to hear that. Where is his dad?”
She laughs out loud. “I’m asking his friends the same
thing. Men run as soon as there’s a baby, never fall intothat
trap.”
Only if she knew!
“But is it doable? Raising a baby. Is it not too hard?”“It’s
hard,” she says.
“How so?” I’m curious.
“Kids get sick, they need attention and money to raise. But it’s
better now because he’s grown, a little baby willdrive you
nuts. You don’t sleep at all.”
I should have used a condom, this is not a life that I
want.
“But pregnancy and labor is okay, right?” I ask.
She laughs louder. “Are you kidding me? Labor makes you
wish you had committed suicide before those hoursarrived.”
I’m getting traumatizing here.
“Let’s talk about work, this is stressing me out. Have youmet
MaKhoza?”
“Yeah, she’s a fierce old woman. I hope you’re notpregnant,”
she says.
I can’t confirm or deny, I ignore and talk about MaKhoza.That
woman used to stress me out. I hope there’s no dragon lady
in my next job, which I’m not sure I’m going to get this year
because of my situation.
.
.
.
NOKUZOLA

I have adopted this new character and I’m loving it morethan

him. It makes me happy seeing him shocked and out of
words whenever I get a thing done for him.
Unfortunately I’m terrible at ironing his work shirts, I need
help with that. While his clothes are being ironed, Imake
breakfast. Well, it’s just a cereal. But I’m the one getting
everything for him, and I rinsed his spoon. He comes down in
his vest, I have his cereal on the table and two fruits.
He gives me a cheek kiss and pulls the chair to sit.“I’m
a king these days,” he says, jolly.
“You are a king everyday and I’m a queen,” I sit downwith
him.
“I will be back after 12pm, then we can go out for lunch
together. You will be paying, as a queen.” Now he’s pushing
it. But I’m using his card, it’s his money
eitherway.
“Purity is coming next week, she will stay with us untilshe
gives birth,” he says.
Lwethu is a nice girl, I’m happy she’s coming, I won’t belonely
when he’s at work.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do after
you give birth between your job and starting a business?”
he asks.
“I want to do both,” I say.
“This is a very good morning sthandwa sami, don’t ruinit.
You know you can’t and starting a business is better
than going back to New Universe and working 8 hours aday.”
“But I love my job and the working environment,” I say.
“More than being home with your family, calling shots in
your own business and making your own money insteadof
being paid?” he asks.
“I will think about it,” that’s all I can say for now. I’m not
making any rushed decision.
I get up to get yogurt from the fridge. There’s a vanoutside the
gate.
“Are you expecting a delivery?” I ask.
“I don’t know, let me check who it is.” He leaves hisempty
bowl and half-eaten apple on the table.
I clean after him, I’m not sure this is what most womendo for
their men. Xolani was very discipline before I started doing
things for him; he’d never leave a dirty bowl on the table.

My mom and Nale?

My chest start pounding. What has happened at home?They
wouldn’t just come here unannounced without any
emergency.
“Let’s go to the dining room,” Xolani suggests.
I’m looking at Nale hoping she gives a hint but she’s
avoiding my eyes. I follow them with a kitchen swap inmy
hand and my robe untied. This is freaking me out.
“What’s going on Ma?” I ask.
“Is Nzalo home?” she asks.
I’m confused. What did Nzalo do now?
“He doesn’t live here but I can call him,” Xolani says.
“Well, Nzalo impregnated Nalenhle,” she says.
I almost got a heart attack for nothing. They are so
dramatic, where was the need to hire Nzuza’s van to
come and say something they could’ve said over the
phone?
“Is he aware?” Xolani asks. “Yes,
he is. Didn’t he tell you?”
“No, he hasn’t said anything. But we will talk and do the
right thing.”
She looks at me, I’m on my feet to go back to the kitchen
and ask for help cleaning up and making themsomething
to eat.
“Uwena umama walaph’ ekhaya?” she asks if I’m thewoman
of the house.
“Ma, come on!” I don’t know if she’s trying out comedy or
seriously asking.
“You need to handle this, not Hadebe,” she says.
“Oh yes, my apologies!” Xolani quickly gets off the chairand
disappears.
They’re my family, what the fuck should I say to them?“Do you
have any questions?” she asks.
“No, I have no questions,” I say.
“Ask how far she is and pull up her shirt, then take a look at
her bare tummy to acknowledge the pregnancy.” I don’t
know if she’s dictating or teaching me how to dealwith such
in future.
I look at Nale, she looks stressed and unhappy. I was once in
her shoes, I know she’s still scared and thinkingwhat if she did
things differently.
“How far are you?” I ask.
“I don’t know, I got pregnant in Northern Cape.”
I close my robe and cross my legs. “Is he the only
possible father?”
“Are you crazy Nokuzola?” She’s angry.
I look at my mom, usebele wami at the moment.Is
this how she raised her daughter?
“I’m your mother-in-law,” I say.
“Stop using me to practice. Should I lift my shirt up orshe
will lift it?”
“Let her lift it,” mom says.
I get up and lift up her shirt, nothing is showing yet. Hereis to
the second grandchild! I can’t believe in no time I will be
called gogo because of Xolani.
Nzalo arrives, his eyes bulging out. I think his uncle called
him and he was not informed about this. Theyboth join us.
What am I supposed to do? Everyone is quiet and
looking at me.
“Nalenhle is pregnant,” I say.
He swallows back hard and nods.
“You know?” I ask.
“Yes, I’m aware. I was going to tell you guys when thetime is
right, we just found out this week too,” he says.
“I guess you have to get back to the people you sent and
update them, then we will communicate with the Thabethes
about the arrangements.” Saying this is weird, I am a
Thabethe but there’s no other woman in
this family except me. Even when Nale comes, she will be a
daughter-in-law, meaning all big duties will be minealone.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

He’s been avoiding coming to talk to my family but todayhe

cannot run. Zola walks Mr X out, he’s going to work, and
leaves us with him.
“I didn’t expect this,” my aunt says.
He can’t even look at her. “I’m sorry aunty.” “So
are you ready to be parents?” she asks.To be
honest, I’m not ready.
No answer.
“You will figure it out then, if you weren’t ready youwould’ve
avoided it.”
I look at him, he looks heavily distraught.
“Are you good?” I ask.
He nods.
This is it, we need to talk.
Zola comes back, I step out with him.
“Nzalo please, you can’t make it look like this is my
fault.”
“I’m not doing that, I’m just scared for us. We had other
plans.”
“Too bad you wanted skoon, remember?”
“I also wanted us to go on vacation and enjoy life, just
the two of us. I was already looking at accommodation in
Florence, now I don’t know.”
“Where is that?” I ask.
“Italy, I was planning for us to go for two months and
then go somewhere else for another month, whereveryou
want us to go,” he says.
“But I’m not even showing, why can’t we go?”
“Medical reasons, I don’t know,” he shrugs.
“Let’s consult first, if we can we will go.”
“I love you and I’m sorry. I should have taken the
responsibility because I was the one who wanted to hit itraw.
Is your uncle angry?”
“He is not talking to me at the moment but he will be
fine.”
Zola and aunty walk out, we are about to leave. Nzalo
returns back to the house, we will talk over the phone
once I get home.
They look at me curiously.
“Why are you smiling? You’re pregnant.”
This woman though, should I cry because I’m pregnant?“We
are going to Italy for two months,” I say.
Confusion.
“On vacation,” I add.
Zola frowns, “No, you can’t go on vacation when Lwethuis
about to give birth.”
I’m not a nurse, why would I stop going to Italy becauseof
Lwethu’s birth-giving?

HOPELESS PLACES
SEASON FINALE
CHAPTER 117

“I’m tired of being your dirty secret, Msi.”

It was another rant. He used to call his full name, like
most people do, but the moment they started doing
things behind closed door it became Msi. He liked it, hestill
does, except that Jamal is becoming more demanding and
persuasive by the day.
Msindisi turned, his eyes landed on Jamal’s tighened jaw.
They were driving up to his apartment, a call fromhome is
what started the fight.
He was still cute even when he was mad.
“What do you want me to do, Jamal?” Msindisi asked,
admiring his curly hair that had dropped and covered
Jamal’s forehead.
“Tell your family who you are and stop living a double-life.
I’m too old for this shit, I want to live my life to the
fullest…with you,” Jamal said.
“We are living our lives to the fullest, you just want to invite
people to our business. I left home because I didn’t want
anyone to have an opinion about me.” To behonest, he’s
scared of what their reaction might be.
Nzalo was okay with it to some extent because he believed
that he made a mistake with Musa. To Nzalo hewill always be
a little brother so whatever he does is easily deemed as an
honest mistake that he can learn and do better on.
“I want to go on vacations with you, as your boyfriend. My
cousin is getting married in Italy and I can’t even gowith you
to his wedding because I’m your dirty secret.” They had
arrived, Jamal was pulling up.
“We can go,” Msindisi said.
Jamal turned his eyes, in disbelief.
“Msi. I’m not just trying to win an argument so don’t shutme
up,” he said.
Msindisi exhaled heavily. “I will go, if that’s what it takesto
show you that I love you and I’m not keeping you a secret
because I’m ashamed of what we have.”
“I hope you’re not joking because I will make flightbookings
right now.”
“No, we will go. How many days?” Msindisi.
“Just one week, you can get that at work.” Jamal’shappiness
couldn’t be hidden; it was overflowing.
He made his way to Msindisi’s door and scooped himout.
They hugged for what felt like eternity.
They just needed to get their paperwork done.
.
.
.
NALENHLE

We flew for over 12 hours, I was flying the whole night and
more, I eventually felt like a bird. It was fun at first, I was
happy changing flights and seeing new places I never thought
I’d ever see in my life. But by the time we connected in
Bologna Guglielmo airport, I wanted to be done. I couldn’t
sleep, I don’t have that kind of bravery to
sleep in a flight. But I felt welcomed, we had all our
paperwork in order, there were no challenges enteringthe
country.
I needed at least 48 hours of rest but it’s always been
this man’s dream to come to Italy and we only have two
months in this country and three different cities to explore.
It’s basically our second evening in Florence and we are
doing our first tour with our guide, Francis.
He speaks good English, his energy makes me wants tosee
everything all at once. He knows the place and its history
dating back to the early 15th century. Our tour started on
the eastern side of the city, now our stop is atPiazza della
Signoria, learning about the Grand Duke ofTuscany. And we
finally get to see the 500 years old bronze statue of Perseus.

I thought I had an easy start but lately I do feel pregnantand

look different. I have already eaten two schiacciate;a
sandwich with cheese, some cured meat and other
accoutrements. It’s a very popular street food, their own
kota. It’s salty and I can’t get enough of it. Tomorrow is
another day, I’m equally happy to go back to our rented villa.
I just love this place because it’s walkable, we’ll only either
take train or bus when we go to see other cities. Tomorrow
we have another tour, I heard about climbing 463 steps of
the Duomo and visiting the art gallery.
I bought food when we passed the food market. I don’t
know what it is, just different greasy food packages.
“We have dinner reservations,” he reminds me when I
unwrap what looks like a schiacciata but with different
fillings.
“I know, I will still eat.” My appetite is bigger than it has
ever been.
He looks at me stuffing my face with food, like he feels sorry
for me or something. Ours is a little bundle of sorrow, we
haven’t celebrated him or her, not even once.We know it’s a
healthy baby, the heartbeat is always strong.
“We have two hours. Are you tired?” he’s looking at my legs
spread on the second chair that he would be sittingon if my
feet weren’t on it.
“I’m fine, we will go,” I say. The restaurant we are goingdine in
is just 10 minutes away, I will walk.
“I want you to enjoy yourself, truly. I wanted to come here
but the most important thing for me was for you tohave
the best time of your life. We don’t have long, we have to
create the best memories,” he says.
In his mind a baby ends all the fun.
“You know we can go on vacations with a baby, right?”
“But the focus won’t be on you. I know how a baby changes
things, I saw it with my parents when they hadLwethu. I was
already grown, they were in their lovey- dovey phase and
she suddenly fell pregnant again,
there was a big change in their marriage.”
“What changed?” I ask.
“She wasn’t giving him attention anymore,” he says.
Maybe that’s why he paid someone to kill her. Or wasthere
another reason?
“But you always say they were a happy couple,” I say,raising
my eyebrow.
“They were happy,” he says, not firm as he usually saysit.
“We are also going to be happy. I don’t think anyone cancome
between us.” Yes, I’m talking about the little
intruder in my tummy. He or she has nothing to what dadand
I have. We are each other’s number one and we will always
be.
He lifts my chin up and kisses my greasy lips, my mouth is
full.
"I love you," he says.
.
.
.

I’m dining in Gucci Osteria; there’s a prime perch in front of

Gucci Garden museum. And oh, I finally have a Gucci purse,
I’m putting it on my will as soon as we get home.
It’s foodies one side and fashionistas on the other. For the
first time in my life I feel rich. Yes, I’m not paying foranything
but I’m here with all these people, having
lobster rolls and drinking spuma. I’m speaking Italian,my
name is Naliato and I’m happy.
“Don’t drink too much, Nzaliato,” I say.
He chuckles, “You will make me want to leave this placebefore
time.”
He’s having campari and soda, I don’t want him to get drunk.
It may seem unfair because he’s not a drinker, ona normal
day he’d be having coffee, but for once he’s
letting loose.
“I want to FaceTime babomncane,” he says, taking outhis
phone.
I haven’t been able to talk to anyone at home, I was only able
to text Zola upon arrival. Hopefully she called home to let
them know that we arrived safely.

They’re FaceTiming, I’m finishing my dessert- I mean,dolci.

“Is she okay?” Nzalo asks.
I can hear the worry in his voice. I hope all is good backin
Africa; I stop moving the fork around and pay
attention.
“Thank you,” he says, taking a deep breath. “Wasn’t shein too
much pain?”
I think Lwethu went into labour, poor kid.
She’s already admitted for delivery. Her brother looksstressed
now.
“Should we go?” I ask after their chat ends.
“You’re still eating, it’s not like I can do anything while
I’m here. Zola and babomncane are with her,” he says.
“I didn’t know she was due.” I knew it was this month, I just
didn’t know it would happen two days after we left. Now I feel
like we could’ve postponed, Zola is heavily pregnant and due
next month, there’s nothing much shecan help with regarding
a newborn. But Nzalo wanted
this and I cannot travel easily once I’m heavily pregnant. It’s
easy for us to travel now and go back to Africa when I’m over
5 months.
.
.
.
We have been holdings our breaths since last night. Counting
hours, Lwethu has had contractions for the last10 hours.
Knowing her, I know she’s crying and stressing everyone in
the hospital. I’ve had to force this man to eat, he’s worried
and scared for his little sister.
Finally, Mr X reaches out with good news. They spent
the whole night in the hospital. Nzalo has a nephew, yepshe’s
a boy mom. She gave birth naturally and the babyis healthy.
He will be three months old when we return back home.
“Are you happy to be an uncle?” I ask.“I
don’t know,” he shrugs.
Hopefully he will be a good uncle.
“Does it kick?” he asks.
I laugh, “No, do you think it already has legs?”“I
don’t know,” he smiles.
He places his hand on my tummy and looks at me. It’sstill
unbelievable, isn’t?
One night changed everything; we are mom and dad tobe.
“Are you going to be a good mom?” he asks. “Definitely.
Why would I be horrible to my kid?”“Sometimes you’re
crazy,” he says.
“And you aren’t?” He’s the last one to talk, at least I keep my
thoughts rational even when I’m going crazy, Idon’t do
stupid shit.
“I am, just that…” he exhales heavily, brushing his face.“I’m a
horrible brother, Nale. I feel like we both need
intensive therapy before the baby is born. A lot happened
to both of us, you have your moments, I alsohave mine.
That’s what stresses me the most, I don’t want anything to
go wrong.”
“I don’t think we need to be perfect, you’re stressing over
nothing. But if getting therapy is what going to make you
happy, then we will do it. For now, we have toenjoy Italy and
get as many videos for my vlog.”
“What vlog?” he asks.
“Excuse you, I have a vlog- traveling vlog.”
“Shit, I forgot about that. How many subscribers so far?”
“6, the 7th person unsubscribed,” I say.
He grabs a pillow and puts it over his face. Laughing likean
idiot that he is.
“Tomorrow we are going to Dante’s muse to makewishes.
Mine is obvious,” he says.
I raise my eyebrow, “What’s your wish?”
“Having a baby who dreams differently from mom.”Right?!
I will get another subscriber, success doesn’t happen
overnight.
.
. MSINDISI

Jamal booked a five-star hotel, they’re only in Rome forone

week, his cousin is getting married on Thursday in
the Cardinal Gallery. Msindisi is out of the shower with a
towel wrapped around his waist. His lean frame reflects on
the mirror as he brushes his edged-up haircut.
“Msi, you’re only coming to bed,” he says.
Who brushes hair to get in bed? Only Msindisi.
He rubs something on his lips, you will never find him with
chapped lips. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that someone
can be this perfect from head to toe. And so clean, even
when he wakes up in the morning Msindisilooks fresh.
He unwraps the towel and gets in his boxers. Jamal is
watching and this beautiful sight he’s watching has
provoked certain feelings. He opens his arm, Msindisilies
on his side facing him. His tender, beady eyes areJamal’s
weakness.
“I’m jetlagged and horny,” he says, gravelly.“Both?”
Msindisi smiles.
“Crazy, right? I just can’t help myself when I’m around you,
I’m madly attracted to you Msi.” He rubs Msindisi’slower
lip, slowly the distance between their faces close.They kiss
slowly and passionately.
Msindisi pulls back, “How is your stomach? Still in
knots?”
“Yeah, but I will be fine when I wake up. Then we can goto
Florence tomorrow, you will love it. There’s every designer
store you can think of; Emilio Pucci, Versace, Gucci, Hermes
and lot more. Plus vintage boutiques, jewellery makers and
leather markets.”
“How long is it from here?” Msindisi asks.
“Fastest train is one and half hour.” He squeezesMsindisi
tightly, exhaling heavily.
This is the life he’s always dreamed of. As soon as Msindisi
comes clean about his life they will get to traveland do
everything he’s always dreamed of. Msindisi’s
family doesn't even know that he's not in the country, hewas
scared to tell them.
“Do you know the story of Dante and Beatrice?”
Msindisi slightly raises his eyebrow, “The poet who
wrote Divine Comedy?”
“Yes,” Jamal smiles. “There’s a plaque dedicated to
Beatrice, the love of his life, you go there with a flowerand
make a wish.”
“You want us to go there?” Msindisi asks.
“Why not? We will be in Florence anyway.”

HOPELESS PLACES
SEASON FINALE
CHAPTER 118
NOKUZOLA

The baby has been crying for over five minutes, I finally get
out of bed to check what’s happening. Lwethu is asleep,
she’s snoring on her bed. The baby’s face has turned red
from crying. I’m not a mom yet but I know a new mom is
not supposed to sleep like this.
I take the milk bottle and feed him. I think I have to change
the diaper as well. He’s tiny but the doctor said his weight is
normal. I guess I’m just used to fat babies. Itake him with me
to my bed.
Xolani lifts his eyes. “Where is Purity?”
“Sleeping,” I say.
“How long is she going to sleep?”
How am I supposed to know? She hasn’t changed the baby
even once since we came back from the hospital.
If she can walk to the kitchen to make food she can walkto
the bathroom to the nappy bin. I don’t think she prepared
herself for motherhood.
I sit and place him on my lap.
“Thabiso’s mother said she will be able to come nextweek to
see the baby, she has no money,” I tell him.
“But she knew all these months that the baby will arrive this
month,” he says. He’s not fond of them, they haven’tbeen
supportive to Lwethu. Yes, they have no money but the least
they could’ve done is give emotional support. Lwethu is a
teenage mom, she needs a lot of support.
“Do you still think giving them the baby is a good idea?” Iask.
“And then support the whole family? That’s what going to
happen, we will send money for diapers and formula,they
will use it for other things. It’s also dumb to send ababy to
the paternal family and then financially support
as the maternal grandfather. They owe us, we don’t owethem,
but see how they are acting!”
“Alright,” I say.
He’s getting worked up, at the end of the day that’s
Owami’s family and babies are sensitive when there’s
tension. I don’t know how we are going to do it but by
looking at how the family has been acting, I don’t think
sending Owami to be raised in Umlazi is a good idea.
Unfortunately his uncle decided to take his girlfriend andgo
to Italy. I’m pregnant, expecting my own baby soon,
there’s nothing much I can help with.
“Is Siyanda sleeping here?” he asks, that's the name hegave
the baby.
“Where else would he sleep because his mother doesn’teven
flinch when he cries?” I don’t want a negligence case, this
baby could choke to death and Lwethu wouldn’t wake up.
“What was that thing they put in her arm?” he asks.“An
implant,” I say.
I had to force her to get it.
“Good!” he’s fed up. He turns to the other side.
We can’t turn off the lights unfortunately, this is going tobe
uncomfortable for him.
.
.
.

I expected Lwethu to worry and look for Owami, but nope. I

hear her playing TikTok videos in her room, shedoesn’t care
if the baby was snatched by robbers at night.
“You need to monitor your sleep,” I say.
“Was he crying?” she asks.
“He almost fainted Lwethu and you weren’t even
flinching. He needs a diaper change, they taught youhow
to do it in the hospital,” I say.
“I hope he didn’t poop that black thing again.”
It’s normal baby poop, I remember Thami’s nappies when he
was a newborn. In less than a week it’s goingto be normal. I
have never seen a mother so disgusted
by her own baby’s poop. It’s not my baby but I don’t gagwhen
changing him.
“Have you spoken to Thabiso?” I ask. “Yeah, he
called me last night,” she says.
“And what are your plans?” I’d like to know because her
uncle is already mad at the family.
“He sent R450,” she says.
That will only cover a pack of diapers. Fine, money isnot a
problem, we just want his family to try.
“His mother said she will come to see the next week, ifshe
gets the money,” I say.
“I sent them pictures,” she says.
“No, she was supposed to come to the hospital and be with
you.” I slept on the chairs for fuck’ sake. They knowthat
Lwethu has no mother, they should’ve made it a priority but
all we are getting is excuses.
“I don’t think your uncle will let Owami go to Umlazi,” Isay.
Her eyes widen, “But I can’t drop out.”
“I don’t know then because my due date is around the corner
as well. The least you could do is get used to your role as a
mom, whether you’re going back to varsityor not, you have
to know how to take care of your baby.
You want to build a connection, right?”
“Yeah,” she looks at her phone, notification are rolling in.
I guess chats are more important than what we are
talking about.
She pushes the bottle in the baby’s mouth with one
hand and responds to texts with the other. Children
shouldn’t engage in sex, this is infuriating.

I leave the baby with her and return back to bed. Xolanitook
a break, I’m close so he wants to be home just in case
something happens.
I check my phone, Nale finally got her phone adjusted.
She’s sent me a ton of pictures. Italy looks like a historical
place, she looks happy.
“These ones are enjoying themselves,” I note.
“Who?” Xolani.
I pass the phone to show him pictures.
“We have our own trips to plan, you know that, right? We’ll
go anywhere you want, you’re not always going tobe stuck
here,” he says.
“I know. Have you checked on Msindisi?”
“His phone has been off,” he says.
“What about your friend, the one who mentored him?”“I
can’t reach him either,” he says.
Now, this is alarming.
“The company he works for?” I ask.
“Oh yeah, let me call Jeffrey.” He reaches to his phoneand
makes the call.
It looks like he’s getting disturbing news. Can we everlive
smoothly?
He ends the call with a defeated look. “He’s attending Jamal’s
cousin’s wedding in Italy and he didn’t even tellme.”
“So everyone is in Italy?” Now I feel left out.
People are in Italy and I’m here expecting a baby in four
weeks and taking care of a new-born whose mother ignores
him.
“Jamal, at his age, takes my nephew and flies him all theway
to Italy without informing me? What if something
happened?”
His temper is unpredictable these days. This Jamalfriendship
will end, he’s angry.
.
.
.
NALENHLE
I’m in my movie character era. A lead character for that
matter. I’m wearing my long fur coat that I bought in
Tongaat on special and huge sunglasses- there’s no sun. We
are visiting the Piazza del Duomo. There are many things to
see and so many tourists in line. But if you’re Nzaliato’s
woman you don’t stand in line; yep, hegot us the priority
access so we get inside as we arrive.
We paid 8 Euros to climb the 463 steps to the outdoor
terrace at the top of the Dome. There are no elevators or
escalators, there are warnings that you should be healthy to
be here. I have my water and wrapped sandwich in my bag.
He's holding my hand, we climb until we reach a walkway
that leads us into a big Renaissance painting.There’s a lot to
capture, I’m glad I left Africa and its BigFive. After 463 steps
we finally reach the top and I suddenly understand why
Francis brought us here, youwouldn’t see this magnificent
view of Florence unless you’re here.
“We need to get married here,” he says.
“Right? It would be beautiful but where would we
slaughter the cows?” I ask.
He bursts into laughter. “You should’ve left the villagegirl at
the airport.”
I’m not having a wedding without any cow losing its life,
sorry.
He holds my waist and turns me around. It’s not just usbut
we’ve blocked out everyone. We kiss on top of
Florence and I feel butterflies all over my pregnant
tummy.
“I didn’t do this formally,” he says, letting go of my waist.Oh
my goodness, in front of all these people?
He’s on his knee, I don’t know where he’s been hidingthis
ring because I unpacked his bag.
“I know you said yes, but Nalenhle Thabethe will youmarry
me?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” It will forever be a yes.
He pushes a ring on my finger and lifts me up.
It’s not a surprise because we’ve done it before, it’s how he
rebranded his proposal that’s a surprise. I’m happy, I
suddenly don’t feel the steps anymore as we climb down to
properly celebrate with a meal.

It makes sense that we are taking a Dante’s Florence Tour

Walk. After having a light meal; Tuscan canapés and ice-
cream, we proceed to Dante’s muse with
flowers. I only have one wish to make; can the love thatwe
share never be shaken by any challenges that we might
face? I love him and I know how much he loves me back.
Challenges have come and they’re still going to come, my
only prayer is that our love withstands everything.
I’m not a fan of poetry so I have no idea who Dante wasand
why he’s so famous and idolized. But if throwing a
flower to his love interest, Beatrice, is going to make my
wishes come true, so be it.
“He drew all his inspiration from Beatrice,” Nzalo has all the
information. “She died at the age of 22, he fell in lovewith her
at 9 years old.”
“He was a psycho child,” I say, most creatives are
pyschos anyway.
“No, he wasn’t a pyscho. They had a beautiful love storyeven
though they never got married and actualize their love; they
both married different people.”
I’m bored, to be honest. Why are we seeking blessings from
people who weren’t even married? They didn’t get a
happily-ever-after and we want them to bless us withone?
A gay couple walks past us; it’s two males holdinghands.
“Who is that?” Nzalo.
Probably an interracial couple from Hollywood.
He picks his pace and walks faster. This is not Africa, you
can’t just run after people to ask who they are. Weare all
here to make wishes.
We keep up and reach the couple in question, I don’t know
why Nzalo is embarrassing me like this. He literallyblocks their
way. You can take an African to Italy but youcannot take the
African out of an African. What is this embarrassment?
“Babe, you can’t just...” Mameshane!
What are my eyes seeing? Enemies from Africa
following me. What the fuck is Msindisi doing here, in mycity?
And who is the white man holding his hand?
“You didn’t tell me you’d be here,” Nzalo.
Msindisi looks shocked, he can’t even get his words out.“Who
is this?” Nzalo needs to let him breathe.
And I don’t know why he looks angry?
“I’m…I am here for the wedding,” Msindisi finally says.
“Whose wedding?” Nzalo questions, raising his eyes tothe
white man.
He looks mature, Msindisi could be his adopted blackson.
“This Jamal,” Msindisi quickly says.
We know the name, Jamal is Mr X’s friend, both aresenior
citizens.
He smiles, I have to compliment his looks, he’s one ofthe few
sexy white people I have laid my eyes upon.
“I invited him, it’s my cousin’s wedding,” he says.
Nzalo gathers his brows like he’s about to dismantle hisjaw. I
know how he can get out of hand and Mr X is nothere to
intervene.
“Let’s go,” I pull his hand.
He doesn’t budge, I put my arm around his waist, too close to
his sensitive areas. A deep breath is taken andhis eyes finally
turn to me.
“We will keep in touch, let’s go,” I say.
He looks at Jamal, then at his brother, and sighs sharply.
.
.
.
I didn’t enjoy the rest of today’s tour because of Msindisi’s
situation. Mr X has already been called, he knows that his
friend that he dutied to help Msindisi in Northern Cape has
done more than helping him settle inhis job. They were
holding hands, obviously they are a
thing now.
“You said you are a horrible brother, now it’s time to change
those feelings. Your approach wasn’t good, youneed to reach
out to Msindisi and invite them to our villa.”
“Them?” He frowns. “Him
and his partner.”
“Partner? That old man.”
“He’s around your uncle’s age.”
“And Msindisi is around your age. If he’s exploring hissexual
life why must it be old men?”
“Maybe that’s his preference,” I say. He didn’t questionhis
own uncle’s preference.
“That’s the oldest white man I’ve ever seen in my life.”He’s
exaggerating, that man looks good and fit.
“He gave me Chris Pine,” I say.
Bombastic side-eye!
“You also want him?”
Sigh.
“I’m just saying, he doesn’t look bad. Give Msindisi a chance
to express himself to you without fear. Contact him, let’s
meet Jamal again without your dragon attitude.” I hate
Msindisi but this is a chance for them tofix things.
“I’m confused,” he sinks down on the bed and blows outa
heavy sigh. “Is he gay or this is his coping mechanism?”
“That’s why you need to sit down with him, you will findout," I
say.
"I need to take a shower," he gets off the bed, taking outhis T-
shirt.
"What about our dinner date?"
"Tomorrow," he says, going away.
My village people have located me all the way from
Africa. This day should’ve been my highlight of the
vacation, then they sent bad spirits to ruin it.

HOPELESS PLACES
CHAPTER 119
NALENHLE
He finally agreed to contact Msindisi, they’re in Rome, not
Florence. It will take them approximately two hours to get
here, so I had to ask him to let them sleep over
since this is a two bedroom villa. They will be here in the
afternoon, we went to the food market to buy for our double
dinner date. Nzalo doesn’t want me to call it that but it is a
double date.
Aunty is at Mr X’s house, I finally get to see her face andspeak
to her directly.
“How is America?” she asks.
I think she does this on purpose; she always calls places
wrongly.
“It’s good, I just miss you and malume,” I say. “We
miss you too. You uncle’s cow gave birth.”Oh wow,
what an update!
“He’s happy,” she’s smiling.
A happy husband is a happy wife.“What
is that?” she asks.
I scratched my face. “I have something on my face, justa
little pimple. I guess it’s the change of environment.”
“No, the thing on your finger,” she says.
“It’s a ring,” I say.
“A ring for what? Are you married?”
“No, Nzalo proposed with a ring. It’s not a blessed ring,just a
jewelry.”
“Kanti ubuyolanda amabhadi lapho? You don’t put a ring on
that finger unless you’re married. You’re confusing
the ancestors, they will think you’re already married and not
shine any light in your current relationship,” says the queen
of superstitions.
“Okay, I will wear it on my right,” I say.
“That’s better. MaNdlela fought with Thuleleni’s sister.”
Now this is what I want to hear. I adjust my sleeping
position to hear well. She takes me from the beginningto
the end. I missed out on some good drama.
She gives Zola the phone, she’s attending to the babycrying in
the background.
“What’s up, Preggy?” I ask.
She’s panting, her nose is filling my screen. I can’t waitfor her
to give birth and be beautiful again.
“Your sister-in-law is ignoring her baby,” she says.
“How?” I’m confused.
“She stays on TikTok instead of taking care of the baby.I’m
trying to help her but she’s not even meeting me halfway,”
she sounds stressed.
“I thought she would be sending the baby to Thabiso’sfamily.”
“Well, her uncle has changed his mind. The baby is a Hadebe
anyway, they didn’t even pay for the damages,”she says.
“But if she’s not willing to be a present mom then what isa
way forward?” I ask.
“If you didn’t go to Italy with Nzalo it would’ve been
discussed. I don’t know what to do, I have to sleep withhim
in our bed because Lwethu doesn’t even bat an eyelash
when he’s crying.”
“I will tell Nzalo to FaceTime you guys.” I know she’s
overburdened but none of this can be pinned on me. Lwethu
had her time with Thabiso, they even cohabitedfor Christ’
sake. She enjoyed her man, now I mustn’t enjoy mine because
of her?

I find him reading a huge historical book that he boughtat

the airport when we landed. He’s trying to distract himself,
he’s not happy with Msindisi and his choices inlife.
“I just spoke to Zola and there’s a problem,” I pull thechair
and sit.
“Mmmm,” he closes the book and looks at me
attentively.
“Lwethu is not looking after the baby, they say she stayson
TikTok while the baby is crying,” I say.
“I texted her and she said everything was alright.” He’s
surprised.
“Zola won’t lie,” I say.
“I will talk to Babomncane tomorrow and see if he can
arrange some therapy for her because I don’t know whyshe
wouldn’t want to take care of her own baby.”
“Please, Zola is stressed,” I say.
He drops his eyes back to the book. I kinda want some
attention.
“I’m sick,” I say.
He raises his eyes, “What’s wrong?”
“My feet are aching,” I say.
“Should I give you a rub?”I
smile, “Yes, please.”
.
.
.

Our guests have arrived and my co-host looks sour and

unwelcoming. I swore that whenever Msindisi and I meetit
will go down, but I have to be nice for the mood to be less
tense. I have to pretend like I’m not angry with him
for the moves he mad, almost destroying my relationship. If
it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have fallen pregnant; I would’ve
remembered that I needed to buy apill because my mind
would’ve been clear.
“It’s more cozy in the kitchen, let’s sit there,” I say.
It’s cold today and I have warmed up our dinner andboiled
water for tea and coffee.
The three of us walk to the kitchen, Nzalo disappears tothe
bedroom. We talked, I hope he remembers everything I
said.
“You blocked me,” Msindisi says.
Honestly, I prefer not to hash it out.
“You know your sins,” I say.
“But I wanted us to be like this around each other. I’msorry if
what I did hurt you,” he says.
Jamal is looking at him, clueless. “It’s
fine, I’m over it,” I say.
“Congratulations on the baby.”
Jamal looks at me, eyes widened.
Didn’t he notice the big T-shirt I’m wearing?
“Oh wow, congratulations,” he says and looks at
Msindisi in amazement.
I’m curious to know about him, just general details,nothing
personal.
“Do you have kids?” I ask.
“No, I don’t,” he says.
“By choice?” I ask.
“I guess it’s just God’s plan.” “Do
you want children though?”
He looks at Msindisi, Msindisi raises his eyebrow with athin
smile. I guess he’s also waiting for an answer like me.
“I’d love to have kids one day,” he says.
“So you will adopt?” I’m asking because both of them
can’t fall pregnant.
“We will talk about it when the time comes. For now we are
just focused on building our relationship.” They’re in a
defined relationship, no beating around the bush.
Nzalo joins us and the tension rises again. He sits
next to me and looks at Jamal deadly.
I get up and serve dinner, it’s awkwardly silent.
I nudge him as I put a bowl of baked spaghetti in front ofhim.
He takes a deep breath and looks at Msindisi. “Are you
okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” -Msindisi looking confused.
“I’m talking about your life. Konke kuhamba kahle?”
Msindisi nods, “I’m good.”
“If you’re okay then why is this man here?”
He could’ve asked this question better, not rudely so.
“Jamal and I are in a relationship,” Msindisi says. “So you
are gay?” he asks.
“I love Jamal, he makes me happy, and that’s all I cansay.”
“He is a man, that means you’re gay at the moment.”
Msindisi picks his bowl and starts eating. If Nzalo doesn’t
change his tone Msindisi will rebel and not givewhat we
want, which is peace.
“Is it because of the problems you’ve had in your past
relationships?” Now he sounds concerned.
Msindisi shakes his head, looking embarrassed like he
doesn’t want that brought up.
“Is it about what happened before ncane was arrested?”
Nzalo.
“No,” Msindisi says.
He sighs deeply, defeated.
I clear my throat and ask the normal question. “How didyou
guys meet?”
“Through babomncane, Jamal was helping me settle in
Northern Cape.”
Well, I know, I just wanted the mood to be a bit lighter.
“Do you think he’s going to be happy about this?” Nzaloasks
him.
Jamal has been quiet, he finally speaks up. “I will handlehim.”
“You can’t handle my uncle,” Nzalo says.
“I will try…” he looks at Msindisi. “For his peace.”
They look at each other with puppy eyes. Love is a
beautiful thing.
I have never seen this side of Msindisi and it’s great tosee it.
Nzalo watches them, I can feel his deep breaths from
here.
I make coffee, Jamal should be helping me as Msindisi’s
future wife but he’s sitting down. I’m not drinking it, I have
my soda.
“Nzalo loves Springboks, do you?” I ask.
Most South African white men are rugby fans. Nzalo is not a
fan though, I just made it up because I want themto get
along.
“I don’t watch rugby,” he dismisses quickly.I
give him a look, like really dude?
He takes a deep breath, “I love it.”
“Oh, I’m also a big fan. Msi and I are going to a game intwo
weeks,” Jamal.
“Msi?” we ask simultaneously, this one is a shocker.
Msindisi smiles. He likes his name short? Discovery.
“Msindisi,” he calls it in full.
I’m impressed.
“Can you say Nzalokayise?” I ask.
I can just feel the look being given to me right now.
Jamal laughs, “I will butcher that one, it’s too long.”
He’s not bad at all.
“Why didn’t I see you when I came to your city?” Nzalo.Finally,
he’s talking to Jamal.
“I was told to stay away,” Jamal says, giving Msindisi aside-
eye.
“I’m sure you’ve only heard bad things about me then,”
Nzalo says.
“Not really,” Jamal chuckles.
He’s just covering up for his sweetheart.
The mood has improved, conversation has started
flowing.
.
.
.
I’m proud of him, seeing him and Msindisi laughingtogether
again filled my heart with joy.
I showed them around the other bedroom and left themto
settle in. Nzalo has come to bed too.
“You see how lovely they actually are?” I ask.He
shrugs, stripping his clothes off.
“Do you like him?” I ask.
He gives me a look, Fara God.
“I mean as Msindisi’s partner,” I say.
“He seems good, so I guess yeah,” he says.
I shift closer as he gets in bed, it’s cold outside, I need toget
laid.
He kisses my forehead, “Your skin looks so beautifulbabe.”
“I have a pimple on my forehead,” I say.
“Doesn’t matter, I can lick your whole face.”
Anything he says is romantic to me, even the dumbest
thing.
“Why did you put the ring on your other hand?”
Phewww, that’s a long story!
“Aunty said I’m confusing the ancestors,” I just shortenit.
“What?” He laughs out.
“Yeah, that’s what she believes in.”
He’s still laughing. I tuck my hands under his boxers.
“Harassment babe,” he says.
“I’m pregnant, it’s the hormones.”
“Excuses, excuses!” he pulls me closer and kisses mylips.
We are grinding against each other with our lips
entwined, then we hear a sound coming from the other
bedroom. I don’t know what it is, sex noise or they’re just
playing pillow fight.
“Uyabona-ke these guests of yours,” he says with asigh.
They’re our guests, not just mine alone.
I kiss his lips again, I need this dick inside of me.
Msindisi and Jamal again. Unfortunately these roomsare
close to each other.
“Oh God!” he exhales heavily, letting go of me.
Now he can’t have sex with me because his brother is
having sex next to us, yet he expected me to have sex with
him while my uncle was in the next room.
“Nzalo, focus on me,” I say.
Noises again, but we are not even sure that they’re
having sex.
“We have to find a club closeby and go party,” he says.“You
don’t party,” I’m trying hard not to laugh.
My God never rests; whatever happens on the right
should happen on the left.
“I’d rather listen to drunk Italians than this,” he says.
He’s serious, he wants us to go out and party.

HOPELESS PLACES
SEASON FINALE
CHAPTER 120

NALENHLE

It’s our first time in Rome, we don’t even need a guide

because Msindisi and Jamal are here and Jamal knowsRome
like the back of his hand. Nzalo has started on a new page
with his brother and it has made things easy for everyone.
There’s a cousin driving us around, it’s a day before the
wedding they came here for. I hope Nzalo’s approach and
attitude stays this calm forever.
For the first time Msindisi looks free and happy around
him.
“How long have you guys been engaged?” Jamal asks.We are
both behind, brothers are ahead of us.
“A couple of months but I’ve only worn this ring for lessthan a
week.”
He looks confused.
“He proposed the Zulu way, then redid it here with this
beautiful ring,” I explain.
“That’s nice, it’s a beautiful ring,” he compliments.
“What about you? Any chance of getting married?”“I
have been married before,” he says.
“To a man?” I’m curious.
“Woman,” he says.
“So you just became gay because of Msindisi?” I hopethis
is not an offensive question.
“I’m bisexual, I’ve had boyfriends before,” he says.
There’s a lot that I want to know but it’s personal and weird to
ask. He’s a nice person and I do see why Msindisi fell in love.
This one can even make a straightman think twice.

Nzalo knows me, he’s announced an eating break. It’s been

two hours since I last ate, he knows that I must bestarving
already. We find a table in a beautiful rooftop restaurant,
Mirabelle. I connect to their Wi-Fi and checkon with Zola as
we wait for our food. Nzalo is talking to
both Msindisi and Jamal, there’s laughter here andthere.
I stand outside getting some fresh air.“Hey
Preggy, what’s up?” I ask.
“Nothing, just bored in bed with Owami,” she says.
“Where is his mother?” I ask.
“Watching TV downstairs,” she sounds tired.“Is
Owami still taken care of by you?” “Yeah,” she
says.
“Did she agree to therapy?”
“She’s gone twice. I don’t even think she has a problem,she
just wants to live her life like she’s been living it. At least he’s
not a troublesome baby, he only cries when he’s hungry or
needing a nappy change.”
“Still, what is she going to do when you give birth?” Iask.
“We are looking for a nanny, I will be interviewing someladies
tomorrow and we’ll see if we find someone reliable,” she says.
“That’s for the best, I guess. I’m with Msindisi here,” Isay.
“Does he know how that Xolani is waiting for him andthe
man he left with?” she asks.
“Why?” It looks like I will be missing out on a lot of
drama.
“That’s his friend and he’s decided to date his nephew. He
didn’t even know that Msindisi had feelings for othermen,”
she says.
“I also didn’t know until recently. But he’s happy and in love,
hopefully Mr X will understand and forgive Jamal.” Ilook back
at the table, the conversation is flowing
without me.
There’s something private I want to ask her. I check ifnobody
is behind me first.
“Nzalo got a call from prison last night, MaMkhwanazi wants
to see him when we get back there in Africa. She says she’s
got something to tell him about, regarding hismother.”
“What did he say?” she asks.
“You know he hates her but she said it’s important. I don’t
know what his plans are, I’m just worried,” I say.
“Why are you worried?” She can’t be this slow.
“MaMkhwanazi wouldn’t call him to tell him good news
about Thobile. I feel like she has something that can
destroy this family and she wants to reveal it to him
because you know Nzalo, azithi mzala.”
“You’re right!” she sits up straight.
We stare at each other. I’m not paranoid, MaMkhwanaziis
up to something. Both Zola and I know how deep thisfamily's
secrets go. I heard Mr X, I know what he did to Nzalo’s dad
and I know what Nzalo’s dad did to his mother.
“If she says something bad it will destroy Nzalo’s relationship
with his uncle. They have made so muchprogress, she needs
to be stopped,” she says.
“But how? We can’t control what she does or say.” I mean,
that’s MaMkhwanazi, she’s in prison for a reason.Who is Zola
and I? She dribbled the law for years.
“If Nzalo finds out what Thobile and Xolani did, it’s overwith
this family.”
Wait a minute, I look around me again.“What
do you mean?” I ask.
“That thing on your mind, they did it.”
Cannot be my late mother-in-law!
She looks so innocent in pictures.
“If MaMkhwanazi knows that, which I suspect she does, then
she’s going to get Nzalo against Xolani to her own side,” she
says.
“What do we do now?” I’m confused.
MaMkhwanazi is going to break this family apart. I want my
baby to have two grandfathers; the village wise one and the
rich one.
“You cannot let Nzalo see her, we have to see her first once
you get back. It’s the two of us, we are going to bepart of this
family and our kids will carry the Hadebe name. We have to
protect ourselves and this family.”
“That’s right, let’s wait until I get back.”
African problems are still stressing me even in Italy.
MaMkhwanazi doesn’t know who she’s dealing with
now.
.
.
.

I’m resting on bed, taking a train was fun but the trip was
longer than I expected. Google said two hours to Rome but
we were almost in a train for three hours. I had a bowl of ice-
cream and took a shower, Nzalo has a work conference call
to make. This is supposed to be a holiday but there are those
crucial calls here and there.
He comes back, I close my eyes and pretend to be
asleep. I have been thinking about what Zola said, Ihave
to figure out how I stop him from going to see
MaMkhwanazi.
He kisses my cheek, I mistakenly blink but keep my act. He
gets under the covers and keeps quiet. Give me my Emmy
Award.
“Hey babe, how are you?”
Who is he talking to?
“No, she’s sleeping, we can talk.”
I can’t be arrested in a foreign country, what kind of
provocation is this?
“I miss you babe,” he says.
I open my eyes, he drops down his hand with a blankphone.
“Oh, you’re awake now?” he laughs.
People don’t believe me when I tell them that Nzalo isnot
well upstairs.
“You are childish,” I say.
“You’re childish for playing the sleeping game and blinking.
Why are you avoiding me?” He pulls me closerto his chest
and lifts my leg to be over his.
“I’m tired,” I say.
“I think tomorrow we must go to a spa and then stay indoors
the whole day. Maybe have some indoor picnicand lots of raw
sex.”
“I don’t do raw,” I say.
“Where did your flat stomach go then?”
Well, maybe I forgot my sense of humor in Africa. Why ishe
laughing? How is that a funny joke?
“I love you,” he says randomly.
“I don’t love you.” I close my eyes again.
He kisses my neck and harshly breathes against my skin. “I
love you, Nalenhle. Thank you for the patiencethat you give
me.”
I open my eyes, his stare is gently on me.“Why
are you being so sweet?”
He smiles, “Because I love you and I want to fuck.”
“Last night I gave you a chance,” I say.“I
thought we didn’t have a timetable.”
His hand invades my privacy, I let him touch everywherehe
wants but that doesn’t mean I’m going to change my mind.
“I will get you more subscriptions,” he says. “How?” I
thought he didn’t believe in my vlog.
“I will post the link on our official page and urge followersto
subscribe and share,” he says.
“Swear Nzalo,” I don’t want to open my legs for nothing.“I
swear on my father’s grave,” he says.
If I have to, I will sleep my way to success. Let me getthis
top off, it’s time to work.
.
.
. NOKUZOLA

We got Owami a nanny; a humble middle-aged womanfrom

Nquthu. I’m due in a week now, moving around isnot easy, I
get tired easily. Lwethu was making a 1% effort but since the
nanny came she’s back to TikTok.
Therapy was done, I have also tried teaching her what I
know, when my mom was here she also shared some
wisdom with her. Now I just pray that time will give her
some growth and she will eventually care enough. She loves
Owami, that’s for sure, she’s not ashamed of her baby. She
just can’t put him first. I still take him to my bed because I
don’t trust Lwethu to pay any attention tohim.
He's growing to be a little cutie, I’ve had a lot of practicewith
him and we’ve crazily bonded. He’s going to be my baby’s
almost-twin and I can’t wait to watch them grow up
together.
The nanny just left, I take Owami to the bedroom wherehis
grandfather is.
“I have to take a bath, please hold him,” I say.
“I’m waiting to have a bath with you. Where is Purity?”
“Watching TV downstairs,” I say.
He takes Owami back to Lwethu. Usually he’s very soft with
her but lately he’s been a bit hard. I thought Onathi was
difficult because she’s a loud mouth but the humble Lwethu
has proven me wrong.
He comes back, mumbling things to himself.
“Now you don’t even have my time,” he says, bitterly.Such
an old man competing with the little Owami. “What
happened?” I ask.
“I need my time. I haven’t had time with you in three weeks.”
He pulls up the T-shirt I’m wearing and caressesmy boobs. I’m
too big, I can no longer get intimate with
him, I think that’s where some of his frustration comes
from.
“You’re a grandfather now,” I tell him.
“So what? I don’t deserve some fun?”
He’s horny and unable to control himself. We kiss, he’s
squeezing my boobs and brushing my huge tummy, provoking
some kicks from Peanut.
“He doesn’t want you to touch me,” I say.
“It’s too early for him to control me,” he says, arranging
pillows for me to lean back on.
Then he pulls my legs apart and my panty to the side.
It’s a pre-bath quickie, his hard shaft enters my opening after
running on my clit. He doesn’t push all of it in, just afew
inches and then moves it in and out.
It’s taking a lot of self-control for him not to pound mewith
no mercy. I feel his warm cum filling me up; his groans
vibrate on my chest. He needed this one.

We get in the bathtub together, he’s helping me wash my

back and between my thighs. It’s cold, I’m going towear
my long pyjamas. I remove the towel and notice that I’m
still wet between my thighs. I slide the towel inand realize
that it’s not water from the bath.
“My water has broken,” I say.
He’s coming with a lotion to put on my back. “Your waterhas
broken?”
He’s confused.
I’m trying my best not to panic.
“I need to go the hospital, Xolani.”
He looks at the towel that just dropped to the floor.“Nokuzola,
no!” he’s scared.
Lwethu felt the pain first and we rushed her to the
hospital.
“Did I hurt you?” He’s still standing.
“Xolani, I’m going to give birth, take me to the hospital!”
He runs out of the door naked, I think he realized
somewhere down the stairway and rushed back to gethis
clothes on.
It’s happening, now!

HOPELESS PLACES
SEASON FINALE
CHAPTER 121

His death was basically the reason why I got to know the
Hadebes in the first place. Sbusiso Langalezwe Hadebe.
According to everything I have heard about him, he was a
dark-hearted man who put himself first and didn’t mindto
destroy everything standing on his way to get what he
wanted. I hope this rebirth of his name will bring a change to
his brother’s heart, Xolani. I hope there’s going to be some
healing and forgiveness.
I open my eyes and look at him. I just took a little nap. He
has Langalezwe in his arms, his eyes are glued to the little
face.
“Hey,” I say.
He releases a deep breath, “Hey mama.”
“He’s not giving you any trouble?”
“No, he’s an angel,” he says.
Well, it’s too early to tell, he’s only five hours old. I gave
birth around 3am in the morning after eight hours of labor
pain. I was under the best team, even though I feltthe pain
but it wasn’t severe as most people say. I had asmooth
delivery and Langalezwe is healthy. He’s almostOwami’s size
and Owami is a month old; he’s going to be a big baby.
“Are you in any pain?” he asks.
“No, I’m good. Maybe I will feel it when I have to pee. Can I
hold him?” I need to bond with him too. He kisseshis hand
and brings him over.
I hold him on my chest, he looks peaceful in his sleep. I can’t
tell who he’s going to look like yet but looking at hisknuckles I
can tell that he’s going to take his father's andNzalo’s
complexion as he grows up.
“We really made a human being,” I look at him staring atus.
He looks emotional.
Motherhood already feels like magic. I’m proud of myselffor
waiting for the right person to make a baby with. He couldn’t
hold my hand throughout the process but I felt
his support even when he was standing outside. My mother
is not here because we all thought he would come next week.
Xolani will send a car tomorrow, I don’tthink she will stay for
long because she has a husband back home, she will just help
me get through a few
things as a new mother.
“I have never been so scared in my life, you’re a brave
woman,” he says.
“So he is your last born?” I’m scared to laugh openly, Idon’t
trust these stitches yet.
“I can’t watch you ever go through this again,” he says.
I kiss Langa’s hand, this is not the last-born, he will get asibling
once he’s grown enough. But I will let his
traumatized dad be.
“I forgot to ask you this, do you know that MaMkhwanazi
wants to see Nzalo to tell him something about
Thobile?” I ask.
“No, you didn’t tell me,” he says.
“Well, she does but Nale and I will pay her a visit before Nzalo
goes. We don’t trust her and it’s about time we puther in her
right place. I know you don’t want to fight with her because
she’s Onathi’s mom, so I will handle it.”
“Okay sthandwa sami, I appreciate it,” he says.
Now I just have to wait for Nalenhle to come back nextmonth
and we will pay the witch a visit.
.
.
.

My dad is the hard nut to crack, I understand why he’s

scared of him. But I don’t understand why he’s scared ofmy
mom because she’s one person who never had issues with
him. Nale and my dad had issues with him, my mom was
accepting before they even met. Since mymom arrived in the
morning he’s been limiting his movesaround the house.
“Uyacasha bo uHadebe,” she’s noticed it.“He’s
just scared of you,” I say.
“I’m a guest here, tell him to be free.” She’s holding Langa
and I have Owami. Lwethu just changed his nappy. She’s also
a bit scared of my mom, she’s beendoing things for Owami,
even making his milk bottles.

Upon her arrival she rolled black wool and put it around their
wrists. My mom is a queen of superstitions, she didthat so
that they don’t lose weight. Black people always comment
on babies’ weight and my mom believes that whenever
someone says the baby is big, the baby will lose weight. We
weren’t allowed to comment on Thami’sbody when he was a
baby.
“Olwethu make me a cup of tea,” she says.
I know Lwethu can boil water, I just don’t know if she canmake
my mom’s tea.
“Just boil water and pour it in a teapot, then bring sugar,
teabags and milk.” Mom will make it herself, who knows
what she might do? Maybe tear a teabag and pour it in the
kettle. Yes, she lives by herself and cooks, but Lwethu has
proven to be a spoilt brat more than Onathi was.
“Why didn’t you tell her to tie her stomach?” mom asks.
I forgot, a lot was happening and my main concern was
Owami.
“Can’t she still do it?” I ask.
“She can,” she says.
“I will get her a waist trainer, hopefully she won’t charmboys
with a flat stomach and then get pregnant again.”
“How is the other one?” she asks.
“Onathi is okay, I speak to her mother and Winnie doesn’t
play.” Onathi is well-educated on sex and relationships, she
was raised by Winnie, a street queen.
“You’re doing so amazing,” she says.I’m
confused. “With what Ma?”
“The way you play your role, I’m proud of myself for raising
you so well. I’m sure Hadebe is very happy andhe doesn’t
regret a penny he gave your father.”
“But my dad is not proud,” I say.
“You’re his princess, obviously he worries about you having
a lot on your plate but he’s very proud of you,”she says.
“I’m coping just fine, he mustn’t worry.”
“Oh, before I forget. His grandson is Mlamuli.”
Gosh, Skhundla! This is not his agemate, why Mlamuliout of
every name?

Mom’s phone rings, she adjusts the scarf across herchest.

“Thabethe,” she says softly, her head bowed as if my dad
can see her. This woman is dramatic, whatever daddoes to
her is working.
She passes the phone to me; he wants to talk to me.
“Thabethe,” I say.
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m fine baba, thanks.”
“How is Mlamuli?”
So this name is really going to be what my son is calledback
home, sigh!
“He is fine, he was just a bit restless because I don’t have
milk yet but I gave him formula and he’s calm,” Isay.
“Oh, okay kulungile-ke. When are you bringing him
home?” he asks.
“Maybe once he’s three months old, I don’t want totravel
while he’s still so little,” I say.
“His uncle and I can’t wait to meet him, uMlamuli,” he
says.
I give the phone back to his wife, they chat a bit. Shepromises
to be back home tomorrow afternoon and instructs him on
what to cook.
.
.
.

Motherhood has been amazing, I’m enjoying every bit ofit.

However, in two months from now I have to make a decision
whether I’m going back to work or starting something new. I
have a connection to my job, letting gowon’t be easy, but
now that I have babies I understand what Xolani said. I want
to be home with Langa and
Owami more than I want to wake up at 6am everydayand
leave for work.
I don’t think Lwethu is going to pass her semester but she
insists on going back to Mpumalanga to write her exams.
She’s leaving today, there has been some improvements
here and there, but I made peace with it along time ago.
Thabiso’s mother still hasn’t gotten money to come and see
her grandson, and guess what?Owami won’t be taken to
Umlazi for her to see him,
that’s not how it works. Whenever they’re ready, they willcall
and tell us they’re coming.
“Purity!” Xolani calls.
I don’t know what he wants to say to her.
Lwethu comes out, she’s already dressed for herdeparture.
“Baba?”
“Sit,” he says.
I don’t know what’s going on.
“Siyanda is the only baby that’s going to be raised here,”he
says.
Lwethu keeps quiet.
“If I hear that you’re pregnant again you’re not going to step
your foot in the Hadebe premises and that baby willnot be
welcomed here. You will stay where you are untilyou give
birth, then see what you do with the baby.
You’re a child kwaHadebe, not a wife, this is the lastbaby
you’re going to bring here. Are we clear?”
She nods, “Yebo.”
“I will wait for Nzalo to come back then I will introduce
Siyanda to the Hadebe ancestors. We will call you to come
home and be present when you do it,” he says.
“Okay, thank you,” she says.
“Next year you will apply for residence, you will not liveby
yourself because you invite boys to live with you.
That’s all,” he says.
I hope one thing she’s learnt so far is that she doesn’t like
babies. Keeping that in mind will help her a lot. Wehave the
nanny’s help but basically we now have two babies to raise.
.
.
.

NALENHLE

Our vacation was cut one week short but I’m not
complaining. My heart is filled with gratitude and joy. I have
seen the world and I just surpassed 1k subscribersthis
morning on my vlog. We just landed in King Shaka Airport,
Nzalo’s friend is here to fetch us and drive us to Tongaat. I
didn’t miss home so much while I was away, Ienjoyed every
minute of it. But as soon as my feet touchthe motherland
familiarity sweeps over me and I realize that something
hasn’t been there. There’s something
that only home can give you.
I have a nephew now, so does Nzalo, and we haven’t met
them. Langalezwe is almost two months old now, Ihave a lot
of gifts to spoil him with to make up for the
time lost.
“There is Mhlengi that side,” Nzalo spots him.
He’s the one getting us home. I guess the lady standingwith
him is the girlfriend he always talks about, telling me to be
friends with.
“The Italian residents!” Mhlengi says, laughing and
shoulder-bumping his friend.
He looks at me, my belly has grown.
“Wow! Hello first lady,” he says.
Out of all Nzalo’s friends, he’s the one I like.
“Hi,” I adjust my sunglasses before shaking his hand.Nzalo
greets the lady, her name is Namandla.
“Hi,” she says to me.
“Hey, nice to finally meet you.”
There’s something cold about her even though she’s smiling. I
don’t know what is it, she’s beautiful though, Ijust can’t put
my hand on her aura. We wait for our luggage and then go to
Mhlengi’s car outside.
“How was Italy?” she asks, it’s the two of us inside thecar.
Nzalo and Mhlengi are packing the bags in the boot.“It
was nothing short of amazing,” I say.
“Nice,” she looks outside the window.
I wonder how long they’ve been together and how they
met. All those relationship juicy details.
“Do you have a child?” I want to know if we can relate on
something as a mom-to-be.
“I did, it was a complicated story,” she says.
I did say something is not connecting between her smileand
aura.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I say.
She looks at me, smiles with a slight frown. “He’s stillalive, I
was a foster mom, in the progressing of adopting.”
Oh, she must have a good heart then. Angelina Jolie.
The men come in before I can get the whole story. I need to
hang out with her, I need a friend who’s seriousabout life, I
need friendship wisdom.
“You need to take my number, Mhlengi has been sayingwe
need to hang out,” I say.
HOPELESS PLACESTHE
FINALE
NALENHLE

I couldn’t even sleep well without seeing Langalezwe

first. I will be going back home on Tuesday, Nzalo needsmore
cuddles, at least for two days, then we will
continue with the plans we had before going to Italy. He’s
paying for the damages and proceeding with lobola.
Hopefully most will be concluded before BabyLuna
arrives. The dad declined the name by the way,but I like
it, I copied it from someone in Florence.
We are outside Mr X’s house, the baby factory. I can
already hear one baby crying as we walk in. Zola hasshed
a lot of her pregnancy weight, she looks like theold Zola
again.
I fuckin’ missed her, I have never gone so long withoutseeing
her.
She laughs, holding me. “Why are you crying, Naliato?”“I
missed you, crazy-ass,” I hit her chest.
She laughs, “You said you don’t. How come yourpregnancy
looks so fancy?”
I have a tummy but I still look like me, just with an extra
glow.
“I watch what I eat; I only eat greens and drink water,” Isay.
Nzalo laughs behind me.
Can’t I lie in peace?
“Where are the babies? We are here to see them?”
She leads us to the lounge, Mr X is feeding one a bottle.I
don’t know which one is which.
“I see me,” Nzalo says, taking the one lying on a
blanket.
This must be Langalezwe, he looks like the Hadebes.
Lwethu’s son is the one driving Mr X crazy. I take himfrom
his grandfather, this one is going to be a cheeseboy.
“Hello Purity Junior,” I’m in love with him.He’s
such a cutie…no, he’s not.
I give him back to his grandfather. Why would a babyjust cry
out of the blue?
I take Langalezwe, he’s heavier than Owami.“Junior
citizen,” I kiss his cheek.
He’s awake and sucking on his fist.
Wow, I can’t believe this is Zola’s creation.
I came bearing gifts, Nzalo steps outside with Mr X.
“None of these things will fit them,” Zola says.
I bought pairs of boots, little hats and tons of toys.
“They will grow up and wear them.” I bought sizes biggerthan
them. They’re almost twins and Owami looks quite handful.
“I got you a purse and some jewellery,” I pass her thebag.
I know she can afford it all herself but I’m coming fromItaly,
this is my only rich aunt moment.
She unpacks and admires with gratitude.
“When are you going back to work?” I ask.“I
don’t know if I’m going back,” she says.
“You haven’t made up your mind?” I don’t think she willgo
back.
“I don’t want to leave my boys for eight hours everyday,”she
says.
“Then you’re not going back. Are you going to be a
house-fiance?” I ask.
“No, I will start a business. I just need a good mentorthen
I will explore ideas before launching my own business,”
she says.
“Beauty is a thriving industry at the moment.”“I
will research. What about you?”
“I’m going to work a 9-5 job again.”
“Working for who?” she asks.
This is not even a necessary question.
“Obviously, my man,” I say.
“Business with pleasure!” she claps her hands, laughing.
I love Nzalo, what would be hard about having him asmy
boss.
“I’m back, when are we going to the dark house?” I’m
using an indirect language because this has to stay
between the two of us.
“Let’s go tomorrow because you will make excuses ifyou
have to come from home,” she says.
She knows me too well, even Nzalo knows that I only
come to him after he’s sent multiple taxi fees.
“That woman is stupid. I’m taking care of her daughterwhen
she’s here but she still wants to start shit,” she says, shaking
her head.
“Does she even care about Onathi?” I don’t think
MaMkhwanazi likes anyone, maybe just herself andMusa.
“She’s only coming back to this family in a coffin, I wantto
make that clear to her,” she says.
They’re coming back, I signal for her to shush. I will justtell
Nzalo that we are going out shopping with Zola
tomorrow.
Unfortunately we have to say goodbye to Owami and
Langalezwe. I imagine my own when I’m holding a babyin my
arms. I can’t wait for my Luna to be in my arms.
.
.
.

I wake up to him caressing my cheek, my bladder is

sending me to the bathroom.
“What is the time?” I ask.
He looks at his phone. “3:48 am.”
“Why are you awake?” I ask.
“I had a bad dream and decided to wake up and have
some coffee, so now I can’t sleep,” he says.
Drank coffee and now he can’t sleep? What a rocketscience!
I visit the bathroom and come back to cuddle. “Did I
tell you that Zola and I going out shopping?”
“No,” he gathers his brows, looking at me suspiciously.“It
must’ve slipped my mind,” I say.
“What are you shopping for?” he asks.
“Luna,” I say.
“Who is that? I hope you’re not talking about my
daughter.”
We have argued enough about this, Luna is Luna. If we can’t
agree on her first name then I will let my uncle givethe first
name.
“Do you have money to go shopping?” he asks. “YouTube is
not paying me yet nje.” I kiss his lips.
I did a lot of shopping during our vacation, this is not even
fair. But I’m not really going shopping for Luna, I’mgoing to
visit a jailbird- MaMkhwanazi.
“I thought we’d shop for her together,” he says.
“There’s still more to shop, next time I will go with you.”
“Mmmm, okay.” He stares at me, as if he’s got somedoubts.
“I love you,” I say.
His stare becomes soft, he smiles.“I
love you too…you and Luna.”
“Now you accept that you’re Luna’s dad?” In this life Ikeep
winning.
“What will I say? You always bully me.” He brushes mytummy
and kisses my shoulder and neck.
I thought he wasn’t crazy about sex but the more westay
together is the more he wants it.
.
.
.
This is where we are doing “shopping”, honestly life related
to people who get arrested is not for me. If it wasn’t for Zola I
would’ve backed out and returned back home. But she kept
pressing and we have finally arrived.I thought a female prison
wouldn’t be full, I mean womenare angels, but I was wrong.
Old and young women are in orange uniforms, they don’t
even look uncomfortable being here.
“Why are they not bringing her? I left my babies at
home,” Zola.
Just as she says, the guard comes to us. “Ladies,
what did you say the name was again?”“Phindile
Hadebe,” Zola says.
“Nobody has reached to the family?”
We are confused.
“About what?” Zola asks.
“Phindile had a fight with another inmate, sadly she lost her
life last night. Her body was sent to the mortuary this
morning,” he says.
No, I don’t believe this.
“She has a history of helping people fake death,” I say.
“That’s her, they confirmed her body and she wasdeclared
dead in her cell,” he says.
I’m confused. How?
She could’ve died after we see her, why die the nightbefore
we come to have a word with her?
I also don’t think she would’ve gotten in a fight with an
inmate, female prisons are not known for such violence.
Unless it was orchestrated by someone outside.

We get back in the car silently. I don’t know if Nzalo has

heard, as unfair as it may be, he has to prepare for a
funeral, she was a Hadebe- his father's surviving wife.“Did
Nzalo do this?” Zola asks.
I hope she’s joking because what the fuck.
“No, Nzalo would’ve had her killed a long time ago if hewas
capable of such. This looks like something Mr X would plan.
Did you tell him anything?”
“Come on Nale, he’s been with me the whole week.”
Something tells me she’s covering up for him. Nzalo
didn’t do this, I can bet Francis’ life on it.
“So there’s a funeral to plan now?” She sighs heavily
putting her sunglasses on and starting the car.
I’m going home, unfortunately. I haven’t seen my familyin
almost three months but I will send a blanket and bucket of
scones.
.
.
.

Home, sweet home!

Nzalo is here to drop me off and rushing back to his
father’s house. Distant relatives and church people were
already in and out. The house had been abandoned,
Zola and I cleaned last night and that’s just how far myhelping
hand went.
He hasn’t faced my uncle ever since we baked Luna.
But today is very unfortunate for him because as he helps
me with my bags, my uncle appears with his stickover his
shoulders. Nzalo who hasn’t shed a tear since
MaMkhwanazi’s death news hit surface starts putting anact.
My uncle being a boyfriend-torturer that he is, he stands and
watches us.
“Malume!” I’m still excited to see him.
He looks at me, tries to resist a smile but fails.
“You were well-fed on your holiday,” he says and looksat
Nzalo. “What did you feed my niece, Nzalo?”
It’s a baby bump but he will do this to torture Nzalo.
“My uncles will come, malume,” Nzalo says.
“I know, I’m just asking what you’ve been feeding her forher
to have such a huge tummy?”
Trust me, he will cause drama if Nzalo mentions thedick,
which is what gave me this tummy.
“I lost my stepmother, malume,” Nzalo says.
“Oh, I heard about that. My condolences, mfana.”
A fake sigh. “We have lost an important family member,"he
says.
“Let us know when is the funeral, my wife and I will
come.”
Just like that, they’re on good terms again. He takes twoof
my bags and goes home with them.
I turn to the liar. “Lost an important family member,really?”
He smiles, “Did you see that stick? I’m not taking any
chances.”
“Can I ask you something? Don’t take it wrongly?”
“Yes babe,” he looks at me curiously.
“Was she really killed by an inmate?”
“That’s what babomncane told me,” he says.
He didn’t do it, Mr X did. He Robyned MaMkhwanazi.

He helps me get all my bags home and greets my aunt, then

leaves. We have an appointment with a gynaecologist next
week Thursday, hopefully the funeralwould’ve pass by then. I
don’t want to be around MaMkhwanazi’s bad spirit.
I’m telling my aunt all about my vacation, Mr X’s calldisturbs
me. This one hardly ever calls me.
I go to my room to answer, just in case he’s dropping abomb.
“Nalenhle, I need your help, you will be compensated foryour
time,” he says.
This is the same shit that started this whole thing. He
needed help, he was willing to pay for it, and I ended up
having the crazy-handsome Nzalo Hadebe on my back.
“Mr X, you know that I no longer offer crying services,” Isay.
“What?” He bursts into laughter. “I want you to help
Nokuzola plan our white wedding, assist her with whatever
she wants but don’t stick solely to her ideas. Iwant a grand
wedding, make it over the top; find the most expensive
venue in KZN, book the most famous entertainers and get a
good designer to help her with
the dress.”
He came to the right person, one thing I take from this isthat
he wants to spend a fortune on their wedding and
Zola might be financial-worried and settle for less.
“Leave it to me,” I say.
“I can trust you, right?”
“Mr X, when have you ever given me a duty and I did not
carry it through?” He needs to put a million aside and let me
do my thing.
“Thank you,” he says.
“You’re welcome, but why are you planning yourwedding
during a funeral planning?”
“The wedding is more important to me,” he says. Well, I
can’t say MaMkhwanazi was anyone’s priority,
however this is very suspicious. Now I’m convinced that
Mr X did it.
I call Zola, she picks up on third ring.
“I’m busy, Nale,” she says, there’s a baby crying in the
background.
“I think Mr X did it,” I say.
“I had a dream yazi, I saw Nzalo doing it.”
“You need to detox, unenyongo.” I drop the call.
Nzalo had nothing to do with this and I don’t want to
ever talk about it again. This is where we close this
chapter….
Wait, I need her to record when Msindisi and Jamal arrive. Mr
X is waiting for them and it’s going to be PG16VL.

…………………………THE END……………………..

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