Italieni‘ch lernen mit den

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29 DEC 2023

He’s a raper United States, with the larger de- dred million billion.
veloping moose ecologies also poised Europe’s rise as an international
to make gains. The largest percent- moose power will slow slightly this
agege increase in moose will likely year as a response to the European
Hegdgegdgsgsgsgdgdgdgdgdgdhdgdhdbdv
come from China’’, says McRobson, Union’s move towards standardising
The Chinese government has invested the European moose. Stringent qual-
heavily in moose infrastructure over ity controls are holding back the de-
the past decade, and their committ- velopment of the eastern european
ment to macrofauna is beginning to populations compared to last year
pay dividends’’. Since 2004 China has when they contributed significantly
expanded moose pasture from 1.5% to europe’s strong growth figures.
of arable land to nearly 3.648% and Norway, which is not an EU member
moose numbers are expected to rise but has observer status, strengthed
to 60,000 making China a net moose in numbers relative to the Euro area
exporter for the first time. This is with numbers of Norweigian moose,
good news for neighbouring Mongo- known locally as elk’’ expected to rise
lia, a barren moose-wasteland whose for the tenth consecutive year, partic-
inhabitents nonetheless have an insa- ularly thanks to a strong showing in
tiable desire for the creatures. The in- the last quarter.
crease in Beijing-Ulanbataar trade is As moose season reaches its close,
anticipated to relieve pressure on the researchers world wide are turning to
relatively strained Russian suppliers, science in an attempt to boost next
Reuters but increase Mongolia’s imbalance of year’s figures. NASA stunned the
trade with its larger neighbour. scientific community today with the
announcment of their discovery that
International Historically the only competitor
the moon is significantly smaller than
to China in the far eastern moose
Moose Count markets has been Singapore but the previously believed. This conclusion,
tiny island nation is set to report a which is the conclusion of a ten-
Underway net loss, expecting a decrease of more year collaborative project, will have
than five percent on last year’s 50,000 profound implications for the moose
By BOB O’BOBSTON
moose counted. The head of Singa- community as the gravitational field
pore’s Agency for Agriculture, Jing- is now known to be of the right
Feng Lau, explained to an incredu- strength to support moose in orbit.
According to John Johnson, head
The UN-sponsored International lous Singaporean parliament yester- of the NASA Moon Sizing Experi-
Moose Census got off to a flying day that bad weather had contributed ment the first delivery of moose into
start today with hopes for an increase to this season’s poor showing, most low moon orbit could be achieved as
in the worldwide moose population notably when a cargo of 150 moose early as the third quarter of next year.
compared to last year’s disapointing were swept out into the Indian ocean The technology to nurture moose in
figures. Among the traditional early in a monsoon. space is available now’’, he said, ’’all
reporters were Egypt, returning fig- Yet again the global demand for that is needed is political will’’.
ures of six moose, a twenty percent moose will be met largely by the
increase on 2011’s figures of five, and US and Canada. The recession-hit
Uruguay whose moose population re- States is taking comfort in its moose Granny wins
mains stable at eleven. growth figures with gross production
According to Robbie McRobson, expected to break 700,000 and net ex-
World Wrestling
head of the UN Moose Preserva- ports to grow by 2%. The worldwide
tion Council, worldwide moose num- dominance of Canada shows no signs
Championship
bers are expected to grow markedly of abating though with this year’s By ROY MCROYSTON
on last year due to the traditional moose population expected to match
moose strongholds of Canada and the last year’s record figures of one hun-
 Italienisch lernen mit den Nachrichten 29 DEC 2023 2

Records were smashed in experience paid off initially as he took assessed. They awarded Thompson a
Nicaragua’s World Wrestling Cham- the first two rounds, but as John- C grade whilst Johnson received an
pionship last night as 78-year-old son became more confident her su- A, becoming the first grandmother to
Maud Johnson, grandmother of five, perior strength came to the fore and ever win the title.
became the first woman for fifty-six she clawed back two rounds to take The new champion explained her
years, and the oldest competitor ever, the contest into a decider. By this success as the result of a strict train-
to claim the gold medal. She walked time Lutti’s body language indicated ing regimen instituted by her coach
away with her million dollar share of that he already felt overawed by the and grandson five-year-old Sammy
the prize money, runner up Tommy pretender to his crown, and the new- Johnson. "I’ve been drinking ten
Thompson from Nigeria taking half a comer took advantage of this to en- raw eggs for breakfast every morning,
million, and third place New Zealan- gage a mutual headlock which she sprinting fifty miles a day and carry-
der John Smith receiving a warm held for three hours until the Vat- ing my daughter’s car to the end of
handshake from the umpire. ican man retired from exhaustion. the road and back whenever I felt my
Having started the tournament a The next seven matches were barely arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy
rank outsider she began to impress a contest as the news of Johnson’s added "I always knew she could do
in her second match when she took supremacy overawed all her oppo- it. She’s my grandma.". The young-
US number three Ron Ronson by sur- nents who became too indimidated to ster is also her manager and has re-
prise and subdued him in twenty sec- fight properly. portedly arranged sponsorship deals
onds with her unique move that has Nigerian Tommy Thompson is which will dwarf her one million dol-
been dubbed "Maud’s Death Grip". also a relative newcomer to the lar prize fund. Her new contract with
The injection of a new wrestling style wrestling scene, but with his 210lb headband designer Nike alone is set
into the tournament was welcomed frame he was expected to fare well to earn her fourteen billion dollars
by spectators and Johnson’s pre- and against Johnson who weighs in at over the next year. She will also be
post-match breakdances have proved only 90lb. However Johnson’s lithe promoting Tupperware, Halliburton,
entertaining to fans. However, she and slender, some would say scrawny, the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala
was still not expected to win in figure belies her agility and strength Bingo. Her continued participation in
round three last Wednesday, facing which she demonstrated by holding the sport is not assured as she wants
off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- Thompson above her head several to spend more time on her bungee-
Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- times during the bout and throwing jumping business, and knitting. Ev-
derdog Johnson was soon showing her him into the crowd once. With the eryone here at the World Champi-
worth with stamina and agility easily scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the onships, however, hopes for her re-
matching last year’s winner. Lutti’s contest went to a panel of judges to be turn.