PeoplePleasing Workbook

K B
R
O
W O
O K
P E O P L E
P L E A S I N G
People Pleasing
Workbook
End the internal struggle of people pleasing with awareness,
compassion , an d tellin g th e lovin g, truth !
Welcome to my favorite topic! This entire I will cover each point of people pleasing in its
workbook is about lies and manipulation. entirety, beginning with the process of first
telling the truth with love. Then acknowledging
When we aren’t telling ourselves or other how your thinking and underlying beliefs may
people, we are not doing anyone a service. not be right. Finally, setting boundaries for
yourself, and giving with love and no
People pleasing is ingrained in our lives expectation for anything in return.
starting from a very early age.
When you learn to accept yourselves, the
You are taught you shouldn’t hurt other good and the bad, you give everyone else the
people’s feelings. same space of love and acceptance!
You shouldn’t be selfish. You show up whole and healthy in the world.
Think of others before yourself. You evolve into your authentic, loving,
fabulous self!
Thinking in this manner sounds altruistic and
very loving, but it isn’t, and it isn’t every single When you can be in the presence of your
time. thoughts and not judge yourself, you will get
to know who you are.
Immediately our minds go to the opposite of
people pleasing. You think that you would You understand that if you choose to give, it
become selfish and that selfishness is wrong! will be with abundance.
You may think IF you are selfish, you will turn The opposite is giving out of obligation and
into a very "me, me, I, I, and myself" type of duty. Giving out of fear, obligation, or guilt is
person! the people-pleasing type of giving, which is
manipulation.
I am not referring to this type of mentality in
the least.
What I am going to cover in this entire book is

coming from the idea that when we love
ourselves in our entirety and honor our own
need first, we give more, love more, and end
suffering.
You are giving not because you want to but so Think of these words, "Mommy is sad because
that people will think... Insert your thought here. you hit Sally."
You are offering to others to fill the void of All of us have heard this and taught it to our kids
emptiness in yourself. So much of the time what as well.
you are giving others you desperately want
yourself. You think, "If I just keep doing giving As a child, your emotional brain emotionally
what you want the people you love they will under-developed. The problem is what if 'Sally'
eventually do this for me." was your much-needed boundaries?
WRONG! What if she was terrorizing you and you are

trying to practice self-care?
You are providing or doing things for other
people from a place of manipulation. Sally had been teasing you and taking your toys.
You told her no, ask her to stop, and she kept
Giving from this place is never healthy. stealing them! You had done your best, but alas
you decided to settle this once and for all and
Give what you so want first to yourself and THEN smacked her!
AND ONLY THEN go back to martyring!
As a result, you ended up getting scolded harshly!
I'm teasing here, but you get my point!
What does your little emotional brain
think now?
Why and where does the belief that
As an adult, you can see that you were taking
we must please other people care of yourself, but as a child, your developing
develop? brain has no idea what happened.
As you are reading this, it may make sense that

1. Primal Brain Sally was in the wrong.
One facet of people pleasing comes from your What would you do now that you are an
primal brain. emotional adult?
Your primal instinct is, if we aren't loved, we will You smile and seethe!
die. We are herd animals and being excluded
from the herd means death.
The fear of being discluded is our primal brain

talking.
In today's day and age, that way of thinking
keeps us lying, hiding, and in the illusion of safety.
Telling the truth brings up fear from your primal

brain. The only way to overcome this old
programming is to keep experiencing telling the
truth, feeling the fear, and eventually teaching
your mind you will not die.
2. Society
The other facet of people pleasing is society, and

our families train us all, to people please
throughout our entire life.
We learn from a very early age to seek approval.
When we are reprimanded, it leaves an intense

emotional memory that sears into our
consciousness.
You learn to give Sally the toys, and you won't get You realize you are a total people pleaser, but
yelled at. You also learn that the Sally's of this how do you end this cycle?
world must be manipulated to get what you
want. How do you go from lying and pretending it's all
fine to, "No way!"?
This behavior has continued right into adulthood!
You have to start telling yourself the truth first.
You feel terrified to speak up, or you will lose all
your family and friends. Telling the truth takes courage.
Or you become super aggressive. Admitting you've spent years lying to get
approval or fit in isn't easy.
Exclusion from the pack is your primal brain
biggest fear! Start telling the truth to yourself about what do
you genuinely like, want, feel, and think?
Remember Sally?
You will instantly go to the thought, "Who knows?
That a harrowing memory that your mind I'm confused!".
remembers and is trying to protect you from a
painful situation like that again! If you can truly master this skill, your entire life will
change!
So, now you go through the motions trying to
avoid that intense emotional pain or anything Your happiness and fulfillment are on the other
similar. side of "No!".
You feel like your needs don't get met or you feel In this workbook, you will do a daily exercise get
out of integrity with yourself because you are to know yourself.
lying to both yourself and everyone else!
This daily practice is a massive step toward
You're doing things you don't want to awareness and may take a little digging around!
do to please people you don't like!
You will practice telling the truth, first to yourself,
When you do this long-term, your relationships then to the people in your life.
erode because they are based on your fear of
rejection and not on love and truth.
Your resentment keeps building because you

haven't told your friends, family or spouse the
truth.
And as you lie, they believe you!
Now what.
Here comes the rage!
When you start to tell the truth, you will be so

angry.
First at everyone else, and then at yourself.

R A G E This anger feels awful, but it is the fuel that ends
people pleasing.
P A G E Before you start punching people in the face,
remember that you laid on the floor for them to
walk all over you.
Now stand up.
You will have to learn how to use this energy constructively.
Before you hate everyone.
Before you turn that anger at yourself, stop.
Pause
You can only change your future if you forgive and let go of the past.
Don't bring your old resentment to your future.
Use the anger fuel to make a fierce commitment to protect yourself and stand up for yourself from this
moment forward.
Act in your best interest even if it's excruciatingly painful.
Do you have an excellent reason for this?
Do you understand that this is self-inflicted?
Do you understand that, right now, you can say no?
Do you understand that you can change your future?
Use the anger fuel to draw a line in the sand & end the lying!
"I will not do this to myself ever, ever, ever again!"
D A Y
What do I like + honestly What do I prefer? What do I want for my

want? future?
How will you stay strong to avoid going back into the "safety" of people pleasing?
Are you willing to feel super uncomfortable on purpose? Are you ready to tell the truth?
What does a recovered people pleaser look like and what is the process of getting to
the place of self-compassion?
"No.!
It's a complete sentence. You have permission to go after what you
want!
Love yourself madly through that discomfort!
Saying no will feel like dying. It's terrifying. You
In the beginning, this is extremely hard, and the will feel like your doing it all wrong.
guilt is intense!
Stay strong, keep going, your on the right track!
Stay strong and say, NO!
You will feel alone at first.
Feel the guilt, knowing it will be a very
uncomfortable vibration. Then your truth will appear.
You do not need everyone's support and What or who you genuinely like and don't like.
approval!
You will soon realize it's so amazing to give and
Your job is to support and approve of yourself! serve when you've taken care of your needs
first!
Commitment of the day:
You don't lie!

It's incredibly uncomfortable,
but the opposite is you ruin
relationships, create animosity, My plan to follow through:
you are seething, and a whole
host of negative emotions.
W h e n i t g e t s u n c o m f o r t a b l e , d o I s m o o t h t h e s i t u a t i o n o v e r, a n d p e o p l e p l e a s e o r s t i c k
to my commitment?
Why do you think it's easier to give in and agree?
Why are you uncomfortable with disagreeing?
What is the worst that could happen?
BREAKFAST LUNCH DINNER

PeoplePleasing Workbook

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

PeoplePleasing Workbook

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

PeoplePleasing Workbook

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

K B

What I am going to cover in this entire book is

WRONG! What if she was terrorizing you and you are

As you are reading this, it may make sense that

The fear of being discluded is our primal brain

Telling the truth brings up fear from your primal

The other facet of people pleasing is society, and

When we are reprimanded, it leaves an intense

Your resentment keeps building because you

And as you lie, they believe you!

When you start to tell the truth, you will be so

First at everyone else, and then at yourself.

Now stand up.

You will have to learn how to use this energy constructively.

Before you hate everyone.

Before you turn that anger at yourself, stop.

Don't bring your old resentment to your future.

Act in your best interest even if it's excruciatingly painful.

Do you have an excellent reason for this?

Do you understand that this is self-inflicted?

Do you understand that, right now, you can say no?

Do you understand that you can change your future?

What do I like + honestly What do I prefer? What do I want for my

You don't lie!

Why do you think it's easier to give in and agree?

Why are you uncomfortable with disagreeing?

What is the worst that could happen?

BREAKFAST LUNCH DINNER

You might also like