THE HOUSEHOLD

P u r p o s e , D y n a m i c s & L e a d e r s h i p

Speaker
DEFINITION
A household is a grouping of
couples who meet regularly
during the week for personal
sharing and for mutual
support and encouragement
in the Christian life. The
household is the basic unit in
the pastoral structure of
Couples for Christ (CFC).
PURPOSE
• Builds faith and provides for mutual
encouragement through sharing of
life experiences and God’s practical
wisdom.
• Provides friendship and
brotherhood and sisterhood.
• Provides support for each other’s
needs.
• Helps people overcome obstacles
to growth in the Christian life.
COMPOSITION
A household is composed of
four to seven couples
including the household head
and his wife. The household is
constituted from couples who
finished the Christian Life
Program (CLP) and who have
made their commitment to
the covenant of the Couples
for Christ.
THE
HOUSEHOLD
HEAD
DEFINITION
• Household head is a man
appointed to take care of a
household.
• Husband is the “household
head”. The husband and
wife are not the household
heads. Together, the husband
and wife are the “household
leaders”.
 ROLE OF
HOUSEHOLD
HEADS
He is the designated leader
over a group of couples and
is responsible for all the
activities of the household
and for the good order of the
household meeting.
• Attendance

• Sharing/discussion

• Honor and respect

He acts as an older brother
to the group.
He helps each member to
be fully integrated into the
household and in
CFC.
He has no authority over
member’s lives but exercises
concern for their lives,
especially in the areas of
righteousness and good
order.
He supports the life in CFC
and the decisions of its
elders.
Supports fully any decision
on movements of couples
from one household to
another, and helps such
couples make such
movements with ease and
a minimum of difficulty.
ATTITUDES OF
A HOUSEHOLD
HEAD
Must have a mind and heart of
a servant. He must come to
serve rather than be served.
His service should be an
expression of his love for the
Lord. He should be humble in
his service and put the interest
of his members first. He should
be obedient to the Lord and to
those whom the Lord has put in
charge of his service.
Look upon the couples
under him as being given by
the Lord, to be cared for
adequately. He has the
responsibility to look after
their spiritual welfare, a
charge coming directly from
the Lord.
He must love them as
brothers and sisters. They
are not just good friends,
but family.
He must serve with
gladness and joy.
He must serve in trust and
confidence.
 SOME EXAMPLES OF
ISSUES THAT NEED TO
BE REFERRED TO THE
UNIT HEAD ARE:
•Serious relationship problems
between husband and wife.
•Issues which pastorally affect
the unit or across units.
•Unfaithfulness of members
to meetings, requiring a
decision to retain or drop
a couple from CFC.
•Slander or gossip which erodes
relationships within the
household/unit or across units.
•Serious wrongdoing.
•Moral and theological
questions, such as taxes,
bribery vs. extortion, penance,
the sacraments, etc.
•Proselytizing and ecumenical
relationships.
 SOME OF THE
CONCRETE THINGS THE
HOUSEHOLD HEAD
CAN AND SHOULD
DO ARE:
Handle the practical
concerns for household
meetings.
• Places of meetings.
• Topics for discussion/sharing.
• Drawing out a withdrawn member.
• Regulating an over sharing
member.
• How to stop gossip in the
meeting.
• Bringing the discussion to the
agenda and keeping it on
course.
Know each member well.
Be prayerful.
• Pray for each member
regularly during his own
personal prayer time.
• Spend time praying before
the household meeting and
entrusting it to the Lord.
• Pray over members when
appropriate
Be prepared and have an
agenda.
Focus on spiritual growth
and God’s power rather
than on problems. However,
be sensitive to personal
problems.
Get the group to make
agreements and account
to one another regarding:
• Time of meeting, punctuality.
• Right way of speaking about
others.
• Negative humor.
Always work on the
faithfulness of members.
Attendance at the
household meetings is part
of a member’s commitment
and is a must.
Refer all frequent
absentees to your Unit
Head.
Always be on the look out
for potential leaders.
Look upon our In His Steps,
Household Topics Guides,
and other books from
Ablaze, as a pastoral tool.
Study and read, especially
the books we publish.
Don’t use the household
meeting to ventilate your
own personal problems, nor
seek help for such problems
from the household
members under you.
If for any reason you feel
you cannot do the job as
household head adequately,
discuss this with your Unit
Head so that appropriate
action can be taken.
THE
HOUSEHOLD
MEMBERS
ATTITUDES OF
HOUSEHOLD
MEMBERS
Openness: One has to be
open to what the Lord
wants to give through the
household group.
Confidentiality: Household
members are encouraged to
share of their personal lives,
including their concerns and
difficulties, in the meetings.
• The household leaders may share
concerns with their service head/Unit
Head, who are extensions of their
service and care for household
members. This is not a breach of
confidentiality.

• The prohibition on sharing with

outsiders excludes the positive
factors in one’s life.
Faithfulness: One has to
make the weekly household
meeting a priority in his/her
life, and be regular in
attendance.
Participation: Each member
has to come to the meetings
prepared both spiritually
and practically, and have
the attitude of wanting to
make a contribution to the
life of the meeting.
Love: The idea, after all, is to
foster active concern and
commitment to one
another.
ATTENDANCE
Each member is expected to
attend the weekly meetings
faithfully, and indeed this is
part of one’s commitment to
the covenant of CFC. Of course,
certain obstacles will come up,
such as sickness. What is
important is that one should
accord top priority to these
meetings and really desire not
to be absent from them.
Either spouse is unable to
attend a meeting, the other
should still attend. They
don’t have to come as a
couple if one cannot come
for a valid reason.
Since attendance is part of one’s
commitment and since the very
purpose of household groups would
be defeated by frequent absences,
such absences form sufficient
ground for one’s separation from
CFC. Household heads should
follow up on absent members and
try to renew their interest and
commitment. If unsuccessful, the
matter should be referred to the
Unit Head for appropriate action.
The household head has no
authority to grant leaves of
absence to his household
members.
THE
HOUSEHOLD
MEETINGS
FREQUENCY
Households meet once a
week, on the same day of
the week as mutually
agreed on by the members.
The household head cannot
skip or cancel any meeting,
except as provided for
below, or as approved by the
Unit Head due to a serious
reason.
If the household head cannot
be present at a scheduled
household meeting, he should
not cancel the meeting. Rather,
he must refer the matter to the
Unit Head. Together, they will
agree on a replacement, either
one of the men from the
household or another brother
from the unit.
Exceptions to the weekly
household meetings are the
following:
• During the week when the monthly
prayer assembly is held.
• When a whole household serves in a
CLP. In this case, the household will
need to meet only two weeks out of
four in a month, in addition to its
weekly service in the CLP.
• During special times such as Holy
Week and Christmas break.
VENUE
The household meeting
should be held in the home
of one of the members of
the group.
Having the household
meeting in the homes of the
household members has the
following values:
• Worshiping the Lord in our homes makes the
truth that the home is a small church a
concrete reality.
• The people in our home our children, maybe
our parents, our household help, the people
who are closest to us and whom we love will
be aware of what we are involved in and what
we do every week.
• What we do in our homes can be an effective
tool for evangelism, especially to our
residential household, to our
neighbors and to other relatives and friends.
 INGREDIENTS
OF HOUSEHOLD
MEETINGS
Household meeting would
involve three indispensable
ingredients:

• Worship and prayer

• A time of sharing or teaching or
discussion
• Some time for fellowship
WORSHIP.
• The worship portion should
include all the necessary
ingredients: singing, praising,
thanksgiving, prayers of petition
and intercession.
• A typical format for the time
of worship.
• Members should be exhorted by
the head to participate actively
in the singing, praising and
prayers of thanksgiving and
petition.
• The household head leads in.
the worship.
SHARING/
TEACHING.
Most of the time, it should be a
separate meeting. Some
advantages of this are as follows:

• Members are freer to share, especially of

their difficulties, when their spouses are
not around.
• Practically speaking, there would
not be enough time (at least quality
time) for everyone to share in a
joint meeting.
Most of the time, it should be a
separate meeting. Some
advantages of this are as follows:

• It’s an opportunity for the husbands to

be supported by the brothers as men,
and the wives by the sisters as women.
• The household can tackle two
different topics in one meeting,
addressing itself to the different
needs of the men and the women
in the group.
FELLOWSHIP.
• A very simple snack is usually prepared
by the host couple. Here it must be kept
in mind that the food is incidental to the
fellowship, rather than the fellowship
being centered on the food. no member
should be burdened by the snack’s cost
or needed time for preparation, nor
should any host ever be pressured in
“keeping up” with a fellow member’s
extravagance.
• Grace before the meal is said by
the host.
DURATION
The household meeting is
held after dinner on a
weekday. The whole
meeting would typically run
for about 2 1/2 hours.
Worship 30 minutes

Sharing/teaching/ 60 90 minutes
discussion

Fellowship 30 60
minutes
Household meetings should
start at the agreed time,
even if not everyone has
arrived. The household
head should not wait for
everyone.
The meeting should not
end too late, say, not later
than 11 p.m.
TOPICS
FOR
DISCUSSION
For the first year (for new
members right after the CLP),
the household meetings are
used to follow up on the topics
in the teaching program.
3 months CLP
3 months Follow up (Orientation of New Household to CFC)
1 day Covenant Orientation
3 months Follow up
1 weekend Marriage Enrichment Retreat
3 months Follow up
1⁄2 day Financial Stewardship
1⁄2 day Evangelization Training
In the second year and beyond,
the topics for the household
meetings would normally
follow the following cycle:
1st week Chapter Prayer Assembly

2nd week Personal sharing

3rd week Bible sharing

4th week Discussion of a Christian topic

Personal sharing is telling our
brothers and sisters about what
has been happening in our lives
for the past month, with a
particular focus on what the Lord
has been doing in our lives.
If the household head opts
for personal sharing, it can
either be done by just
encouraging the members
to share as they are led, or
by using a set of questions
which can guide the
members in their sharing.
Sample questions are as follow:

• How have you grown in your relationship

with the Lord? Have you come before the
Lord faithfully in personal prayer?
• In what ways were you aware of the
Lord’s presence or action in your life
during the past week/month?
• What has the Lord been teaching
you in your prayer time or Scripture
study this week/month? How have you
responded?
Sample questions are as follow:

• Have you conducted yourself righteously

in thought, word or action?
• In what ways has the Lord used you to
serve others this past week/month?
• What change has the Lord been asking
you in order that you might grow in
loving your brothers and sisters?
Bible sharing is a way for us to
be more familiar with the Word
of God, as we share about it
every month.
Topical discussion is a time for formal
discussion of a Christian topic. These
topics could be anything that has to
do with the Christian life, which
would be profitable for our members
to gain a greater understanding of.
For example, such topics are:

• Personal daily prayer time

• Daily reading of the Bible
• Living fully the Christian life
For example, such topics are:

• Avoidance of wrongdoing
• Good order in private life
• Participation in Church life
• Regular weekly dialogue
with spouse
For example, such topics are:

• Christian fellowship
• Priority setting/weekly schedule
• TV and media
• Spiritual gifts
Certain publications, sharings or
teachings may provide the
impetus for a household meeting
topic.
• Teachings contained in our
newsletter, the Ugnayan.
• Topics contained in the various
books that we publish.
• Articles of interest in
“In His Steps” or other similar
prayer or Scripture guides.
• Teachings or exhortations given
at the monthly prayer assembly.
• Recorded talks or teachings by
renowned personages.
Cycle of topics for the second year
and beyond is such that there is
no burden on the household head
to be always thinking up of what
to take up during the household
meetings.
For personal sharing, the
household head (and his
wife for the sisters) would
simply moderate the
sharings and keep the
interaction active and life
giving.
For the Bible sharing, the
household head merely
chooses the particular
verses to be taken up.
For the topical discussion,
the household head
chooses the topic, taking
from the vast array of
materials available to him.
The household leaders are
not burdened by
“technical” preparation for
the meetings, but can
focus more on “spiritual”
preparation.
This cycle is something the
household head is free to follow
or not. The household head has a
good amount of flexibility as to
how to handle the household
meeting and what to take up.
OTHER
GROUP
ACTIVITIES
These other activities may be in
lieu of the normal household
activity (with approval of the Unit
Head) or in addition to it. Some
such activities are:
• Healing sessions/praying over
• Intercessory prayers
• One to one
• Video sessions
• Socials (sports, outings,
picnics, etc.)
• Lord’s Day celebration
Other activities are welcome as
long as they make a positive
contribution to the support and
strengthening of the Christian life
of couples, within the context of
CFC.