Update on my whole life situation:

I’m out for good. Spent a few days in the psych ward, and then a month in rehab and I’m living in a sober house now. I got all my things last week and he’s blocked across the board on everything.

You should have seen the psycho shit he was messaging me and my friend. It hit a point I had to promise my friend that no matter what he said I would no longer respond from that point on. And I stuck to it.

I’m settling in well here and all my friends have been super supportive and I’m very lucky to have them.

I got hit with the “I’m not your boyfriend, idk what to do with you”, so that’s it. I’m done. I can’t take this any more. I got punched in the face lmao. I’m leaving here within the hour. What the fuck lmao

I’m not okay. I’m not fucking okay.

Just found a 3 hour video of my bf secretly recording me because I was drunk and bugging out on him begging him not to fuck someone else cause he thought I would try something I guess but all it mostly was was hearing him slap me and telling me to shut the fuck up, zip tying me, and me screaming at him to stop touching me and hyperventilating over the fact he doesn’t want me and yelling about the zipties hurting

So that $15 is absolutely going towards getting me drunk so I can forget that I watched that.

I need $15 super badly so if anyone wants to trade for pics of my tits that would be sick

I’m always too much and never enough. You said you wanted crazy and I told you that you didn’t want my crazy. You said you could handle it. And I fucked up. And I believed you. But the second there was someone else? I wasn’t worth the effort any more.

You replaced me, just like I knew you would. I saw it coming. I begged you.

Because im a failure.

I just wanted you to love me.

I wanted you to show me you wanted me like you said you did.

And you didn’t.

Over and over.

I want you to find my body in your bath tub and you want to stay friends.

You took everything from me and then gave up on me.

Like him even bringing up their name just fills me nausea and dread and he expects me to hang out with them eventually.

Like no I would actually rather them kill themselves thanks.

Like he can’t go a full day without slinging an insult my way. At all.

I keep hoping I can make him love me. But I would swear he doesn’t even like me.

He’s dating another person- against my wishes. And obviously I’m bugging on and off about it, especially because I’m watching myself get replaced. He literally spent more time with them on a drive than he has with me in almost a week and we live together.

But my bugging out and crying all the time is “annoying” and “making me unpleasant to be around”.

You’re literally tearing me apart and you can only be disgusted by it.

You don’t actually like me at all, do you?