Adam

@adam--official

First guy ever. Your grandpa. He/him. Father of Abel, Cain, and Seth. Husband of Eve.

Pinned

Introduction post 🫶

My name is Adam. Like Adam And Eve. I used to live in Eden but somebody tricked me into eating a quince. So that's over now. And it was a quince, for the record. Not just any old apple.

I have a beautiful wife, Eve, and so many children, including but not limited to Cain, Abel, and Seth. Cain has been missing ever since Abel died, and Seth... Seth is a lot.

I have eight billion grandkids. You're one of them. We're all family here. I regularly refer to myself in the third person as "Grandpa." It's because I'm grandpa

If you're here to ask me about Lilith, please don't. Look, she's a perfectly nice demon, but I didn't have any sort of relationship with her! Ben Sira included me in his autobiographical libel and I'll never forgive him for that.

Feel free to send asks! This is obviously a theological blog but I'm not exactly pious. God screwed my family over with the whole "not telling us people can die" thing so we aren't on great terms right now.

My reblogs are tagged as "Adam reblogs things", posts are tagged as "Adam says things". Any time I bring up that time I got us banned from Eden will be tagged as "the Quincident"

#adam says things #roleplay blog #gimmick blog #gimmick account #roleplay account #introduction post #adam and eve #the book of genesis #religion

Reblogged

randomly-generated-posts-machine

Girl help! Both God and Lucifer are girlbossing again

Hate when that happens

#adam reblogs things

I'm so glad they invented showers. Two days of frolicking in Eden we smelled like dick and ass. Soap >>>

#adam says things #adam and eve #the book of genesis #garden of eden #religion #book of genesis #hygiene

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Ive begun reading gnostic texts, such as the Gospel of Judas and the Holy Book of the Great Invisible Spirit. I need to have a looooong talk with Seth. I knew he started an acid cult a few thousand years ago but I didn't realize it was so... auto-erotic :-(

What the fuck Seth

#The holy book of the great invisible spirit #adam says things #adam and eve #sethian gnosticism #religion #roleplay blog #Nsft #Religion #Theology #adam reblogs things

Ive begun reading gnostic texts, such as the Gospel of Judas and the Holy Book of the Great Invisible Spirit. I need to have a looooong talk with Seth. I knew he started an acid cult a few thousand years ago but I didn't realize it was so... auto-erotic :-(

#adam says things #the book of genesis #The gospel of Judas #The holy book of the great invisible spirit #adam and eve #garden of eden #sethian gnosticism #religion #gimmick blog #roleplay blog

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queenofthetrees

ALEART! THEYRE TRYING TO EAT THE TREES. WE NEED TO STOP THEM!

My bad 🙏🙏

#adam reblogs things #The Quincident

Happy (late) trans visibility day!! I love the Transgender community guys. I see you so much

#adam says things #trans visibility day #Transgender community #woo hoo

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naruta-deactivated20201013

you have to roleplay your url every time you open tumblr how screwed are you

real-minnesota-state

Gimmick blogs... Attack this bozo

french-horn-official

I still haven't figured out how to rp this blog but I'm gonna attack

i-send-stuff-to-gimmicks

@maryland-officially and @corviddetector seem like gud fits 4 this challenge. Also, I'd be able 2 very well.

post identified

blub blub

GODDAMNED COMMUNIST PSYOPS!!!!

lucifer-official

GIF by tvneon

Lucifer serving cunt, as always.

~~Just like you served my wife that fruit~~

#adam reblogs things #adam and eve #the quincident

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Anonymous asked:

Woah mama we’re mutuals :3

elvis-official answered:

Woah mama it's the one truest King the lord our God

man fuck that guy

#adam reblogs things #The Quincident

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Anonymous asked:

Woah King,

I help run a blog about a historical religious figure who died three years after Elvis was born... Does that mean we're also part of the Elvis Extended Universe?

elvis-official answered:

Woah mama everyone is part of the Elvisverse if they want to be

#adam reblogs things

Reblogged

Anonymous asked:

I think you're a good person.

pukicho answered:

I once ate a live cricket.

i once ate a quince. Which is worse than it sounds

#adam and eve #adam reblogs things #The Quincident #the book of genesis #garden of eden #book of genesis

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cheshirecatlair

If I get 666 followers on this blog, I will film a video of me eating an entire 32 oz. jar of mayonnaise.

better mayonnaise than a Quince...

#adam reblogs things #The Quincident #adam and eve

Reblogged

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

That's what got me kjcked out of Eden :-(

#adam reblogs things #adam and eve #the book of genesis #garden of eden #religion #gimmick blog #book of genesis

Reblogged

Maybe I should see a therapist

... I agree. Maybe we should look into a family therapist too because God knows Seth needs it.

You're right. Seth's whole starting a cult while on acid thing was manageable, but I saw him ban somebody from a discord server earlier :-/

The cult on acid thing was understandable we've all been there but this... He told me earlier that he's thinking about starting his own podcast. I knew he was watching them but this is starting to become too much.

oh, man... It's worse than I thought. We need to intervene before he starts brewing his own beer or investing in cryptocurrency. I'll contact a therapist as soon as possible. This can't go on

It may be too late for us... He's already started investing in crypto. This therapist needs to be a miracle worker

Damn it. I'll go find Jesus

#adam reblogs things #adam says things

Reblogged

Maybe I should see a therapist

... I agree. Maybe we should look into a family therapist too because God knows Seth needs it.

You're right. Seth's whole starting a cult while on acid thing was manageable, but I saw him ban somebody from a discord server earlier :-/

The cult on acid thing was understandable we've all been there but this... He told me earlier that he's thinking about starting his own podcast. I knew he was watching them but this is starting to become too much.

oh, man... It's worse than I thought. We need to intervene before he starts brewing his own beer or investing in cryptocurrency. I'll contact a therapist as soon as possible. This can't go on

#adam reblogs things #adam says things #adam and eve

Reblogged

Maybe I should see a therapist

... I agree. Maybe we should look into a family therapist too because God knows Seth needs it.

You're right. Seth's whole starting a cult while on acid thing was manageable, but I saw him ban somebody from a discord server earlier :-/

#Adam reblogs things #adam says things #Sethianism

Reblogged

This is me and Adam btw

Yeah 🫶

#Adam reblogs things #Relationship goals

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