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My mad stuff

@amypihcs

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Fic Masterpost

Doing some bit of admin work! Finally putting together a masterpost!

Code:

red: unfinished/still in progress

blue: retirement fic

pink: explicit story

One chapter fics ↓

Multichapter fics ↓

Fanfictions for fanarts <- just for tidyness

Holmes and ww1 ↓

Rugby shenanigans ↓

May prompts - in the order i wrote them with their number on their side ↓

6) Cold 20) Do-Over

10) Choice 18) Blanket

11) Secret 19) Weather

5) Awkward 22) Night

2) Box 17) Chaos

1) Open 23) Apology

7) Calm 28) Empty

8) Hobby 29) Hero

For they never lived AU ↓

cozytober 2024 ↓

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Reblogged

Holmes disguises himself as a woman for a case and Watson sees him come out of his room dressed up as the most stunning, breathtaking lady he’s ever seen, with an impeccably styled wig and delicate blush and just a touch of rouge on his lips and his waist cinched with a corset, and Holmes is telling him about the case but he’s not even listening because all he can think is “I am the luckiest bisexual in the entire world”

Reblog if you agree that John Watson should be able to carefully undo the laces on his husband’s corset and help him out of his skirts

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Two months after October 7, Sarah’s* eleven-year-old daughter Talia* quietly deposited the Star of David she had been given as a baby on her mother’s dressing room table. It was not a casual gesture. The previous week, she had told her mother that she was resigning as a Jew.
...
“After the big march against antisemitism in London in November 2023, I kept a big Israeli flag in our kitchen but it would regularly disappear” says Sarah “When I asked Talia if it was anything to do with her, she confessed and said she didn’t want her best friend, a non-Jewish girl and frequent visitor to our home to see it.”
...
Dalia*, an Israeli and Israel activist in London, knows all about the yelling that often accompanies in this inter-generational rift. “My daughter has screamed that I am a Nazi and I have called her a kapo which I regret but I am horrified by the anti-Israel sentiments that come out of her mouth.” Her 22-year-old daughter works in the arts and Dalia thinks this is part of the problem. “Being anti-Israel is an article of faith in her professional circles and if you are dare to stand up for Israel, you are bullied.”

09/04/2025

'I have called my daughter a kapo because she's anti-genocide' is perhaps one of the most insane things I've read today.

got called a Nazi in Greggs

were you being a Nazi?

yes

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Full of random thoughts today but I wish the main takeaway from the tiktok misinfo crisis/covid zoom classrooms/chat gpt used for homework/etc combo had been "we have as a society completely lost the plot of why we teach kids the things we do to a point that the way we do it undermines the very points we're trying to make" and not "lol gen alpha dumb"

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things one must draw in order to cope when one is reading the Final Problem

“You should let a natural 20 always succeed on ability checks, because why would you have them roll if there’s no chance to roll high enough?” This is a piece of D&D advice I see a lot, and on the surface it seems to make sense, right? Like why would you have someone roll with their +5 bonus if they need a 26 to succeed?

But then you remember the Great Secret of D&D 5th Edition, the enlightenment not all have reached: the DM deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, and it’s not their goshdang job to know what all your stats are.

"Look here, Watson; you look regularly done. Lie down there on the sofa, and see if I can put you to sleep.”

He took up his violin from the corner, and as I stretched myself out he began to play some low, dreamy, melodious air- his own, no doubt, for he had a remarkable gift for improvisation. I have a vague remembrance of his gaunt limbs, his earnest face, and the rise and fall of his bow. Then I seemed to be floated peacefully away upon a soft sea of sound, until I found myself in dreamland...

-the Sign of the Four

Or: when your crush is falling for someone else and you’re making one last ditch effort to show your good qualities

Details:

reblogging this early illustration so I don't have to draw the same scene again for Watson's Sketchbook...tfw your boyfriend who you've been pushing away recently because of his concern over your drug use and recent homicide starts hanging out a lot with a cool lesbian and you're jealous

I can understand how "modern person thrown into the past gets by pretending to be a healer/doctor" is as surprisingly common of a trope as it is. I mean I'm fluent enough at bullshitting to be pretty sure I could pull it off to impersonate a doctor in any time pre-1800s. If I have no idea what something is or how to treat it, I could just get the opinion of the other whatever-passes-as-medical-professionals around, but if their suggestions sound like bullshit I'm not doing it. And I'll beat the shit out of anyone suggesting bloodletting or mercury. With my healing stick. I've tied little bells on it, that jingle comically with every smack.

The awesome curative powers of my healing stick come from two separate sources: Placebo, and me using it to beat anyone trying to give my patients mercury.

Ooooh you reminded me of that protocol I wrote about how to reinvent penicilin with only alchemical tools. You know. Just in case I did end up dumped in the past and needed a stable income.

w

what's the protocol?

I am so glad you asked! I unfortunately lost the protocol because it was probably on my laptop, but I remember the broad strokes. So! In case anyone does end up stuck in the middle ages and can find a kindly old alchemist willing to lend you his gear, here's the revamped Penicilin (Re)Discovery Protocol!

0. WASH YOUR GODDAMN HANDS.

We're not working in a lab here, cross-conatamination WILL happen. Your job is to minimize it as much as possible. If you end up in a place where soap hasn't been invented yet, wash your hands in distilled alcohol. Your skin won't thank you, but you can afford all the nice hand creams after you cure the plague and get rich.

  1. Find some Penicillium mushrooms!

Yes, penicilin is produced by mushrooms, though Ascomycotes are usually called moulds, it's a fungus, and it makes me laugh to call it a mushroom. Plus, in the middle ages, mushrooms were known to have medicinal properties, so you'll get a lot farther by calling them mushrooms rather than molds.

First thing you need: mouldy fruit. Oranges, or cantaloupes are preferred.

Here's the thing: mold is everywhere, so getting it will be the easiest part. The tricky part start with identifying the correct mold. You don't want to feed your patients black mold, do you?

So. Leave some fruit out. The more the better, because you want to up your chances. Then let it rot in warm and humid places. After a while, pick any fruit that looks white on the outside and green in the middle:

Not the best picture, but that's what it should look like.

2. Transplanting your (potential) Penicillium mushrooms

Until you get it on a plate it's damn near impossible to tell which mold you got. Get ready for some trial and error because you will have to sift through a lot of unwanted mold. You might want to wear a mask.

First you need something to transplant it onto. Making modern agar plates is probably impossible but thankfully not needed. You just need:

  • Glass plates (the kind that can be closed, you want to minimize cross contamination)
  • 1-2 cup of Hot water (preferably distilled, ask your alchemist if he can do that)
  • 1 cup whole milk (should be 13g of lactose per cup, if your Penicillium won't grow adjust the water-milk ration in favor of milk)

If available: Instead of milk use corn steep liquor. Unfortunately only available after America was discovered, so YMMW, but Penicillium LOVES this stuff. It will make your life SO much easier if it's available.

  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 teaspoon Yeast extract (get it from a baker)
  • 3-6 teaspoons Gelatin (get it from a butcher)

Disclaimer: The ratio of each of the ingredients will have to be adjusted depending on the purity of the ingredients and on the conventional measuring sizes of the place you end up.

Gently mix it all in and pour out into the plates, let it solidify. If you end up dumped far enough that such refinement isn't possible, make bone broth and strain it through cheesecloth several times to make it as clear as possible, then mix it 5/6 broth and 1/6 milk. Again, if available, use corn steep liquor, but if not milk is fine. Add gelatin (should still be able to get it from the butcher) as needed to solidify it. I'm afraid experimentation will be needed depending on the resources you will be working with.

When you're done, you should have something like this:

Now that you have your plates, run an inoculation loop through a flame to sterilize it.

Something like this. Wave it through the air to cool it so you don't kill your mold, grab it from your fruit and geeeeeently spread it on top of your improvised agar without breaking the surface of the gelatin!

You can see the motions on this one pretty well. Close your plates, stack them about a meter/3ft from the fireplace. Judge for yourself, but ideally somewhere you would consider comfortably warm (20-24°C).

3. Identifying your Penicillium Mushrooms

If all went well, you are going to have something that looks like this:

Well, realistically, it will look something like this:

We're not actually doing it in a lab, after all. But IDEALLY, it will look like the above. It doesn't have to be perfect, you just need to be able to identify Penicillium molds for now.

IDEALLY, on the plate that matches the description of the penicillium mold you'll see an exclusion zone of bacteria around the mold, like the fourth plate in the second row, so you know you have a potential winner, but if you managed to avoid bacterial growth you need to take a few extra steps.

Penicillium molds have characteristic rings of growth, grey-green-white rings. They're easy to differentiate from bacteria because the molds are fuzzy and the bacteria as smooth and slimy. In the above picture, there are four plates that potentially have what we want, and two are less certain than others. Wash out the unwanted ones, make new agar plates, sterilize your inoculation loop and transplant your best candidates. You might need to do this several times.

Two types are confirmed to produce penicilin: P. chrysogenum and P. rubens.

The former is far more widely used today, but since we're sourcing them from literally thin air, we're more likely to get P. rubens, but unless you're a mycologist you probably won't be able to tell the difference. Thankfully you won't need to, because they both produce penicillin. Which brings me to the next step.

4. Confirming it's the penicillin producing mushroom

We're gonna need more agar plates for this one, and believe it or not, you're gonna need to mix blood into your agar. Wash your hands THROUGHLY.

(Theoretically you can get away with just milk, but identifying the correct bacterial colony on white agar is going to be a nightmare, so just add some sheep blood to your agar, conventionally it's about 5% by volume but you might need more to make it)

You need some gram-positive bacteria, preferably of the Bacillota type. Please don't go out and find a patient with fucking botulism or tetanus, you need to live long enough to make the cure. Instead, if you have a vagina, scrape some of the white, mucousy stuff from there and plant it on your plate. If you don't have your own vagina, a borrowed one is fine. Penicilin also works on Treponema pallidum, so if you get a syphilis-affected prostitute that should also work. Just wear gloves.

Ideally you get something like this.

This is actually Lactobacillus brevis, but Lactobacillus colonies all look relatively the same. The important thing is that it's all gram-positive, and will therefore be affected by penicillin.

Take new plates again, plant your Penicillium mold in the middle, and the bacteria all around it, getting as close to the center as possible. You can put down a paper marker for the mold. Wait for about 20 days.

Ideally, on at least one plate, you will get something like this:

This is literally a textbook example of testing antibiotics, but the Zone of Inhibition is what you're looking for. It means the mold is releasing a compound to kill the competing bacteria for resources, in this case, Beta-lactam antibiotic, or penicillin. Make sure to pick the one with the WIDEST ZoI, because that's the one that produces most penicillin.

So now we have the root stock, but our problems have just begun. This is the part where you're absolutely going to need an alchemist's help.

The problem is that a human body is not a petri dish. It's quite a bit larger. And you want the good bacteria destroying stuff without all the nasty contaminants, so you need a SHITLOAD of mold producing a LOT of penicillin, and then you need a way to filter it. You are going to need actual lab equipment for that, or near as they had it.

Since I lost the original protocol I'm going to need to do research all over again how to do that with alchemy equipment (or at least a microbrewery), so that will be in the next installment.

Fascinating.

Concept: generic fantasy adventure where the wizard has a crackpot assistant and he explains sadly that while Hreithbert is an excellent person for keeping the wizard tower tidy and the homonculi fed they're obsessed with cooking like ten million plates of inedible goop but it makes them happy so he permits it

And at the end of the story the big reveal is Hreithbert is a time displaced biochemist who has finally fucking refined their process for penicillin.

Don’t lie, any wizard would love having ten million plates of inedible goop from their apprentice. The fact that he won’t let you lick them is the problem.

I am a 27 year old electrical engineer who works in a little secret lab in the middle of buttfuck Egypt. For one two month period, the office supply order changed from normal erasers to these, and I will not lie - every time I thought I was alone, I would sneak one out of my desk and eat it. They looked delicious. Tasted mid, but the appearance was so stunning that my brain just kept thinking, surely, the rest were a fluke, but THIS TIME it will taste like fruit and sugar.

Anyway, eventually the order stopped, and I was very worried that somehow, they’d found out that I was eating their erasers. So I kind of casually brought it up to my manager that I was sad that they swapped the erasers out, and he was like “yeah, but I kept eating them so they couldn’t stay.”

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