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7x17 sam is the only thing ever on my mind. i don’t think you understand the importance of 7x17 sam to ME.
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you can bicker all you want about which ships are canon and i will happily watch you with popcorn in my hand knowing damn well that i, as a sastiel enjoyer, truly won, for, while we may have mere crumbs in canon, we do in fact have the actors kissing on camera in full costume, and if that isn’t something, then i don’t know what is.
sam: *very obviously struggles with bodily autonomy and feeling self control from numerous times where these things were violated*
dean: *tricks sam into saying yes to letting an angel (in which neither of them know at all) possess him, and then doesn’t tell sam about this until it’s too late*
sam: personally, same circumstances, i wouldn’t put you through something that i knew you would hate and that has basically traumatised you in the past just in order to keep you from dying when you were ready to go, just me though
fandom for some reason: can we talk about how disgusting sam is for saying he wants dean dead in a ditch and how he wants dean to feel selfish and miserable and depressed for eternity? he’s so ungrateful, dean saved his life, what an asshole
(meanwhile earlier in the show)
dean: *makes multiple gross comments about teenage girls*
fandom for some reason: fucking love this guy, he could no wrong. just a little puppy
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i feel like i know her but sometimes
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hate this gay ass movie (thx again @antlertree for getting me hooked on this crossover)
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thinking about how dean’s character gets simplified in fandom, or more specifically, the very black and white lens that gets applied to him. because integral to dean, from my point of view, is that he is both a victim of abuse and a perpetrator of it. that these two things do not cancel each other out or outweigh each other to the point that only one matters. he’s both, you cannot separate him from the fact that he’s both.
but very often, people do. dean is either a victim. or he’s an abuser. it’s like it’s hard for people to hold both those facts in their heads at once. dean went through incredible amount of trauma as a child and an adult, is routinely faced with violence, has resorted to alcohol abuse to cope with it. he’s also a violent person, someone who retreats into tactics of emotional abuse and control when he feels threatened, who hurts the people around him constantly and the people who are closest to him (ie Sam, Cas, later Jack) get the brunt of that abuse. these are just facts. they’re things that happened on the screen and cannot be denied.
and it’s. idk it’s weird to me (not unexpected, because he’s hardly the only character to ever get this treatment) that dean of all people is the one portrayed in such an either/or way when one of the defining moments of the show for him is that during his stint in Hell, he was tortured and then became a torturer to escape that, to feel like he had some control again, and he relished in it. it’s baked into who he is.
for every scene that dean punches sam there’s an excuse from the fandom. “well he deserved it, he was talking bad about their family”, “he deserved it, he wouldn’t listen”
however in this scene it’s different. sure people are still going to say “but he was soulless it didn’t matter” or that dean had every right to be mad, sure he did, but he didn’t just hit him once or twice, he beat him to the ground. he wasn’t just trying to knock him out, he beat him past the point of bleeding, and i’m tired of people saying this wasn’t abusive behaviour. this is NOT normal sibling behaviour it’s abuse. i can never not wonder how he was able to look the person he cared about most in the eyes asking for help, only to do that. a lack of soul doesn’t make it any less sickening and sad.
people who say sam was the one with anger issues are fucking insane.
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sastiel interrupted…..auuuuuuauauauuaggh
special thanks to @antlertree for getting me hooked on this crossover. this ones 4 u <3