apronpocket

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

I actually, genuinely think social event aftercare would fix me. I need someone to put me to bed and say "you were fun today and no one hated you"

tags via @ratbastarddotfuck

the male womb is just located deeper in the man. uou have to try harder

Old people can’t have a steady retirement, young people can’t buy a house, and middle aged people are having to support their adult children and their parents at the same time like nobody here is winning

just heard a coworker say "I know this thing wouldn't even work for Jesus" about her printer

heard three people say "amen" in response

oooh rare leap year post, adds to the resale value

you can't kill yourself you have to wait until Trump dies of liver failure or even better from a trip down the stairs. you have to live so you can party with me that day

My mutuals are both broke and kinky so I have no choice but to piss on the poor

How dare you say my reading comprehension is piss poor

This is the kind of messaging you really want to be seeing from the global hegemon

linking it directly because, yeah, this is real.

They actually said "retaliate" huh.

NON-freaks dni. This is a freaks only zone

being mutuals is like we’ve never talked but i saw your vent post and do you want me to kill that person for you. still won’t talk to you tho bc that is scary sorry. love you

trying hard not to be controversial here .. trying not to step on any toes but ……… i like some things 😳 and i………. dislike some things 😳 and. sometimes i even . don’t care about stuff 😳 Please dont hate me im sorry