i love it when two adult men have a homoerotic teenage girl friendship and falling out

were I to create an original piece of media I would create bait so queer in order to create a fanfic environment I like. I find you guys do your best work under duress.

I’d say “jeez can two people not be friends anymore?” and then I’d give one of them amnesia in which they only recognize the other above anyone else

Cory Booker has been talking in the senate for over 20 hours now

He’s not filibustering. He’s protesting the current administration.

For those of you from outside the US or those of you who didn’t pay attention in government class, in the US senate there’s really no limit to the amount of time a senator can speak. So sometimes if they don’t want a bill to pass they just. Don’t stop talking. To hopefully get past the deadline to vote on a bill. This is called filibustering.

Senator Cory Booker isn’t doing that. He’s disrupting “the normal business of the United States Senate for as long as I am physically able”. Just in protest. This doesn’t usually happen.

He’s less than 20 minutes away from breaking the record of the longest speech given on the senate floor

Cory Booker has officially broken Strom Thurmond’s record for longest speech on the senate floor and he’s still going

For those of you wondering what he’s been talking about this whole time, his staff wrote down a bunch of stuff for him to read like stories from people across the political spectrum opposed to what the administration is doing. He’s also been telling personal anecdotes about meeting important civil rights leaders and other democratic senators have been pausing him for “questions” but the questions have been as long as a small speech and have both served the purpose of giving him a second to sit down and updating him on the news that he’s been missing while he’s been talking.

He has yielded the floor at 25 hrs and 4 mins. His eyes are so wide they look like they’re going to bug out of his skull so I don’t blame him for stopping. He said to go out and get in some good trouble.

OPEN RP

“Hey guys, I picked up some snacks from the corner store today. Would anyone like some.“

i, aslan of narnia, wonders if you bought any sprite

((A talking lion!?))

“Ah, sorry Aslan-san. They only had Sierra Mist. I hope that’s okay.”

oh ive never tried one. let me 

hhg. what is this flavor? 

AAAUUGHG ITRS FUCKING GOOD!

i wish there was an easier way to tell the difference between an "if it sucks hit da bricks" situation and a "sometimes being an adult means doing things that you dont wanna" situation

The best answer to this that I've seen is "You are free to do whatever you like. You must only live with the consequences."

"If it sucks, hit da bricks" is for when you realize that you actually definitely can live with the consequences of Not Doing The Thing.

"Sometimes being an adult means doing things that you don't wanna" is for when you've thought it over and it turns out you would strongly prefer NOT to live with the consequences of Not Doing The Thing.

I didn't ask if it made sense to keep going. I said I'm going to kick your twisted evil ass.

We gotta stop aiming for unique and interesting baby names we gotta start naming every single infant straight-shot middle-of-the-road ass popular common unisex names like Alex and Sam. By the end of 2031 I wanna see 100% of kindergarten children named either Alex or Sam and you know what, let’s make ‘em all Smiths and Johnsons, too. In an age of digital tracking give your baby the gift of total functional anonymity within the panopticon

If Elon Musk owned Tumblr he would nuke your blog for this.

And I would die with honour at the hands of a fool

we need to talk abt the power scaling problem in playing pretend :/

you cant just be invincible i GOT you i fucking got yoiu with my powers ok??????

Are you sure?

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

can you reverse the update on your way out?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

“Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

It’s full circle now. He did it, by god he did. What a little champ.

It’s full circle now.

He did it, by god he did.

What a little champ.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

?????? rich people are losing it

to be clear, yes i would also do some of this if i had the money. im experiencing blinding envy over the dr pepper mirror dimension.

All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.

you laugh now, but when my gatorinator is ready, it's all over

update:

transmogrifying my haters into an animal that is known for something called the "death roll" has backfired in a manner no one could have forecasted

Having taken stock of the situation, it's not as bad as I originally thought. It's not like these crocodilians are an urgent problem, much less a representation of my own mortality. There's no ticking clock here.

well now you're just doing this on purpose

I think that's the highest tags forecast I have received so far.

Posts that have 100k gators to me.

Actually there are only 5 gators in my post, but it is an understandable mistake.

Now there are 100,005 gators on this post

...

You know what? Good job.

Other people said this post had thousands of notes in their mind, but only contributed two notes.

You? You said that it had 100k gators to you.

And then you did it.

+1 respect point.

now that's what i call a

gator aid

I have been informed that this is in fact… one of Them

This is the funniest fucking post on this website

sundays should be 48 hours long. 24 for enjoying sunday other 24 for mentally preparing for monday