damn I'm kinda fit ?

this is entrapment

two equally delightful paths here:

1) a very simple and genuine “i like your shoelaces”, which tells me that you are either a lesbian or a very cool ally

2) “i like your shoelaces” followed by the pronounced grimace of one recalling their past sins, which tells me that you were a 2012 tumblr user. i now hold the power in this conversation and you are at my mercy.

if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation

well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe

this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year

everyone lost

#tumblr is an ecosystem you kill one trophic level and everyone starts dying

(via @binguscore)

losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^

Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media

IF I GET TUMBLR BACK WHAT SHOULD I DO TO CELEBRATE?

20K notes and i come out as trans to my parents (tehe unrealistic for a reason 😊😊😊)

(inspo from @madambellepepper lmk if u want me to take this down)

@queermoon @weenietickler @emilem-forevermore @epistemologically-sound @rabiousranger @redmegarex @r3therat @randomchaos146 @raskoln1kovsaxe @themagicwolf6677 @therealworm @yourmotherst8es @idiot-squared @pennyroyald @sigmxnd @smorbledingledoo @sashathesidebitch @ammedd @axolotlworld @almablehh @deemysxd @despairdoodlesreal @fvgaz1 @feraltrenchcoat @figbarofknowledge @gendermiiiilk @garlicgrub @gl00mystargazer @gorilla-ass @gremlinicky @horsewheelie @jocyjabbers @juniscoff1n @jewelsrot @keettennuggets @kerfy-derpy @locallybrun @liltherianpaws @l0s3rb0y-hesfckingdead @zooberthegoober @zer0-otheactualnumber @corvibb @chains4w-gutzfuckk @cool-lesbian-is-here @corvibb @chiotri-loves-davekat @chilli-talks-a-lot @voparwave69 @vampiricbisexuality @voidboyz

hehee

U seem cool

u 2!!!!

FREE MY LESBO @sashathesidebitch FR SHE AIN’T DONE NUN WRONG 🗣️🔥🏳️‍⚧️💔

Hey! Sasha here, my main account was wrongfully terminated, hoping I can find out why and get everything working again, please reblog because if nothing is changed, this will most likely become my main blog!

@staff

FREE MY GIRL

I NEED TUMBLR BACKKK

OMG :( @staff

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

Made some valentines for your loved ones please enjoy

Last year’s valentines also for your enjoyment

“we need less sexualized depictions of fat characters in media!”

me who heard “sexualized depictions of fat characters” and got so hard I passed out: wwhat

Invented something, introducing: Crypto-Cocaine™! Crypto-Cocaine costs slightly more than average cocaine, it hurts the environment, and we even made it so that you don't have those pesky side effects like getting high! Some people say that "Crypto-Cocaine does nothing and is useless" but Crypto-Cocaine is simply just owning the identity of a drug abuser! If this doesn't make sense, you can buy a short course on Crypto-Cocaine for an additional monthly fee of $49.99! For 20% discount, buy a Mystery Pack! Mystery packs are regular Crypto-Cocaine but with a 20% chance of being laced with Crypto-Fentanyl which makes you digitally foam at the mouth and pass out! Buy your first Crypto-Cocaine here!

this patch is my magnum fucking opus. It took me today and yesterday to make.