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Hot girls have Grandma hobbies.

If cruel prince was a slice of life book instead of an excruciating soul extracting political stupid fucking miscommunication romance I'd like to imagine it was about these cool band kids who are lowkey rivals (please don't ask why)

So on one side we have The Shadows

Jude: lead singer and background guitarist (sometimes she unplugs her guitar)
Vivienne: lead guitarist (WILL see Jude unplug her guitar and scold her for it)
The Ghost: background guitarist 2 (Keeps getting taken for granted until he stops playing and everyone wonders why the song sounds so bad)
The Bomb: DRUMMMEERRR (SHE WOULD KILL IT)
The Roach: Bass (Forgets to play because he's staring at the drummer)
Taryn: Keyboard (Absolute shit as solos but SLAYS the chord progressions)

And on the other side who are OBVIOUSLY THEIR RIVALS 😍 we have The Crowns

Cardan: background singer and lead guitarist (is always making fun of The Shadow's lead singer for unplugging her guitar but secretly finds it cute)
Nicassia: lead singer (OUR SIREN QUEEN)
Locke: background guitarist (Gets the hardest chords to play when he acts up during practice)
Valerian: Drummer (Likes to take out his frustration on the instrument)
Balekin: Bass (Was overlooked Is overlooked Will be overlooked for eternity)
Dain: Synth board (They didn't actually need him until he busted out the most amazing chords and almost got Balekin kicked out)

And then both bands' signature song is "Hard Times" and when they both have to play it for some sort of show they're forced to merge together and play it because the management said so, and they have the most SICK AMAZING PERFORMANCE and the crowd goes WILD and someone developed a crush on someone's vocals (sideye)

Sorry I needed to dump because I keep imagining Cardan staring at Jude and messing up his guitar 😭 I'm probably going to keep doing this

Everybody always remembers how Tairn forgot to block out Violet during his wonderful time with his mate but I love to imagine that she always gets back on him constantly

Tairn, right after Violet did some unholy deeds: you learnt how to block me out the first time in five minutes
Violet, still holding a grudge: you couldn't block me out for the five minutes you lasted

Whenever I'm lying awake at night I imagine new scenarios about Cardan and Jude, and today I got one about Jude taking Cardan to the mortal world.

Cardan, touching a speaker: what is this netted monstrosity?
Jude: that's a speaker
Jude: it plays music
Cardan, peaking inside the speaker: I see no bards
Jude: *clicks play*
Speaker: *starts playing fein*
Cardan: *jumps back*
Cardan: what the fuck
Jude: this
Jude: is fein.
Cardan: ...

And then it reaches the best part and Cardan loves it so much he makes Jude repeat it over and over, and when they go back to Elfhame he can't stop singing it

Cardan, in the beat and tune of fein: JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE JUDE
Jude: oh my god oh my god SHUT UP

Ignore all the angst- Violet and Xaden grow up and get happily married and they have kids.

Mini violet and Mini Xaden: *reading in their room peacefully*
Mini Xaden: Hey, look
Both: *look out of their window*
Sky: *starts crackling with lightning*
Mini Violet: aw hell nah
Mini Xaden: they're at it AGAIN
Mini Violet: do you know how it felt when thunder started to sound outside the window during school?
Mini Xaden: *passes headphones*

I hate how everyone is always like "Omg Cardan fell first, Jude fell harder" or something like that because it's literally:

Cardan: fell first, fell harder, fell hardest tumbling down the staircase of the tower of forgetting since the beginning of time
Jude, standing peacefully at the top stair: you okay?
Cardan's echoing voice, around fifty floors below: yes why wouldn't I be?

Jude: you sure you're okay?
Cardan, now at the fifty first floor because she asked him if he was okay: yes Jude I'm a goddamn prince I think falling down half a hundred flights of stairs would be the bare minimum
Jude: grrrrrrrrr how dare he always be okay it's not even fair that he's the prince of elfhame and I'm a mortal why does he always do this
Jude: I'm gonna go make sure he's not okay
Jude, rambling to herself: *falls down trying to make sure that Cardan fell*

I hate how everyone is always like "Omg Cardan fell first, Jude fell harder" or something like that because it's literally:

Cardan: fell first, fell harder, fell hardest tumbling down the staircase of the tower of forgetting since the beginning of time
Jude, standing peacefully at the top stair: you okay?
Cardan's echoing voice, around fifty floors below: yes why wouldn't I be?

Another comic adaptation! Now is chapter 25: Jude kidnaps Cardan andd stuff happens...

Hope you like 😊

This is the stuff I want to see when I wake up (I am greatly satisfied)

Plot twist- imagine jude didn't come back to Elfhame not bcz she was upset but because she had found this cute friend group (that consists of both males and females) who taught her stuff about the world like buying groceries or playing video games

Cardan, storming into the mortal world: SO THIS IS WHY YOU WON'T COME HOME?
Jude, literally getting icecream with her friends: Wha-
Cardan, gesturing to the males in the group: MEN? YOU IGNORE MY LETTERS FOR OTHER MEN? IS WHAT I HAVE NOT SATISFACTORY ENOUGH?
Friend group: ooohhh
Jude: Cardan you're embarrassing me
Friend group: Jude, who is he?
Cardan, having a literal fit: SO SHE DIDNT MENTION ME EVEN ONCE
Jude: no wai-
Friend group: not that we've heard
Jude: Cardan maybe you should shut up now
Cardan, lifting up his hand furiously, showing off his ring: I'm her HUSBAND
Friend group: goes absolutely crazy

It would be such a cute dynamic and at the same time so hilarious because Cardan would CONSTANTLY have meltdowns at the thought of her choosing another man over him and her friends would just be laughing and oohing on the side like an audience to a play while Jude just sat there with a throbbing headache

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