Ramblings of a Jedi Knight

Griffin McElroy I don’t know if you’re in Vancouver right now but if you’re not then I just watched your doppelgänger get stuck in an automatic door

For the record this is the order things went down

did it work

Have an electrician over today & he comes through from the kitchen like 'i was looking at that poster on your wall wondering how I hadn't heard of the movie so I googled it. What is the point. Is it just there to catch people out.' And I'm like, well,

Well,

I like these photos because someone clearly set up a camera, took a picture, ran all the way up the grain silo to change the slide doors, and ran all the way back down to take another picture. That's dedication.

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

No way out

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

Sisyphus

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

F R E E H I M

"UM OP DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT THIS INNOCUOUS VIDEO/IMAGE/POST IS ACTUALLY FETISH CONTENT"

everyone is correct in that i missed a crucial option 3. i'm into that actually

4. Please consider some internal exploration of why you "recognized" this as fetish content.

Devils sacrament?!

5. All content on the internet is fetish content if you believe in yourself.

BEHOLD!

Fetish content!

i hate when top wildlife predators are just lil babies teeny tiny babies

. that is a serial killer

I just noticed my darling baby boy (cat) sitting in his little loft bed about 5 inches away from the most delightful sunbeam, so I scooted it into the sunlight for him and he looked me with the biggest widest expression. I don’t think he knew that was an option. I think I just blew his whole little mind

^guy who didn’t know I could do that

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

Me: "Welcome home, honey! Hope you had a good day!"

My robotgirl girlfriend who communicates in classic YTP soundbites: "I wonder what's for DINNER?"

Me: "I was hoping we could go grab a bite. Maybe Italian?"

My robotgirl girlfriend who communicates in classic YTP soundbites: "I HOPE SHE MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI"

If we lived in an imagined idyllic age of days gone by, Sony would be running TV ads featuring a guy with frosted tips in a sports car saying shit like "switch 2? Try switching 2 Playstation instead" and he'd drive off and you see his car is full of beautiful women and twinks (it's woke) but they'd never do that these days

"oh why are the boys there why is it woke" I'm projecting cherry-picked pieces of modernity I personally find palatable onto my imagined idyllic past that's what makes it imagined and idyllic dipshit

Not to start discourse but I will be forever mad that every time I go into the Goncharov tag I see people complaining that they watched the movie expecting a soft queer romcom about pure cinnamon rolls and instead they got a complex and violent film about deeply flawed people where everyone dies.

By all means, engage in fandom however you choose. But don’t blame the source material for not being consistent with some random fanon on tumblr. Kinda wild to get mad that the movie about violent, morally dark grey criminals has violence, crime and moral greyness in it. You know? Also, imho given the time this movie was made, the queer coding was daring; this is NOT an example of queerbaiting.