@battlships / battlships.tumblr.com
people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?
The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it
(Via @morganpdf )
shoutout to @daftmooncretin for the inspo
we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?
this fucking problem is how they caught the unabomber
hey you should uh. elaborate. for my own personal satisfaction
the unabomber was pedantic about idiomatic phrases like "have your cake and eat it too" and rephrased it to "eat your cake and have it too" (which to be very fair makes sense). fast forward to when he starts writing manifestos. he uses the phrase word for word in his pedantic style and his brother (who has been keeping his eyes on the unabomber shit for obvious reasons) notices the phrase and is like "oh fuck that's my fucking brother no one else fucking says that" and calls in an FBI tip
Well you can't deliberately speak in a way nobody else does and also stay anonymous you know. Can't eat your cake and have it too.
feeling so many feelings about all of this
brennan just going right ahead and saying the quiet bit out loud here
hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset
WE DID NOT CALLS YOU A SLUR. SMÉAGOL CAN RECLAIMS IT
*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document
does it look like this
Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?
The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.
Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.
Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.
my contribution to this post . @antagonistic-sunsetgirl I cannot begin to explain how this was significantly funnier in my head LMAO I hope you like it.
Ngl I kinda pictured them like a lavender marriage of ZERO convenience. They hate each other. They fight nonstop. They are reluctantly bonded cats that can’t be separated but they will cause a scene.
bonus piece: they def call on the clock to gossip and bitch about people on the station (often times in Front of said people). Why do they have phones? Idk they’re extra like that ig.
I will draw more because I’m actually obsessed and committed to this bit. Nothing has brought me this much joy in eons.
“Rayban charity glasses event” is a scam don’t click any link in a post that says that.
Old tumblr users remember this scam back when it first went out.
Also no, this isn’t a joke. This phishing scam is 100% running its course again so watch out for your mutuals long abandoned accounts suddenly posting it. Please make everyone aware of it since most users here are newbies who have not seen it before!
