i am the rat living in tim minear's walls

whenever you take too much time to write something know it is because stephen king has been stealing your life force

kissing himmm

KISSING HIMMM!!!!

KISSING. HIM.

Buck who slept like a baby after a dicking down he's been thinking about for five months.

Tommy who couldn't quite fall asleep, sifting fingers through Buck's hair, finding thirty minute naps here and there while the towel bunched underneath him and the raw pillow frizzed his drying hair.

Buck who has sought out this house as a refuge before but couldn't sleep in it alone because it would mean his best friend was really gone, passed the fuck out after a hookup with the dude who hasn't left his mind for more than a few hours for almost a year, now.

Tommy who blinked awake at five in the morning in a panic, seeking out Buck's slumbering face and thinking "I have to feed him, that will fix things." because taking care of Evan is ingrained in him. Tommy slipping out from under the duvet and tucking it carefully around a Buck who sniffles and rolls towards Tommy's heat in his absence but continues to slumber. Tommy following his trail of clothes down the hallway, mystified that he'd gotten a solid three hours of sleep on a bare ass mattress. Tommy trying to remember if he's ever made a walk of shame while he books it to the corner store before the sun is fully risen. Tommy getting mean mugged in front of the beer case while he's trying to decide whether or not to grab the prosecco. Tommy who grabs it and thinks "What gaping vulnerability will I have to expose to be able to drink this with him today?" Tommy who blinks at his total but hands over three twenties and wonders if it was the eggs or the expensive coffee grounds because Evan always hates the cheap stuff and Tommy only buys Folgers when it's funny (Evan won't get the joke he's definitely never seen that commercial).

Tommy who spends the entire walk back trying to remember if he locked the door? Tommy who's halfway to a panic wondering if he's gonna have to bang on a window to wake Buck up and therefore ruin the surprise.

Tommy who unpacks a quarter of Buck's kitchen just finding appliances and plates and cutlery and pans and those fancy napkins he'd seen Evan eyeing that time they went shopping together and he threw them in his basket because spoiling Evan was kind of his thing.

Tommy who is completely unsurprised to find the only thing already unpacked is Buck's spice rack. He'd thrown out half of Tommy's spices after being mortified to find his thyme was seven years past its expiration date like the third time he came to Tommy's place.

Tommy making coffee and pulling out two mugs, sipping his own black because he can't find the sugar and he didn't think to buy any creamer. Tommy lining the empty trash can to hide the evidence of his little plastic containers of fruit after staring at his spread and digging for bowls because it didn't look right.

Buck waking up alone and thinking "well, that sounds about right, what did you expect, idiot" before he hears clanking pans in the kitchen. Throwing sweats on and wandering out absolutely giddy with the thought that Tommy hadn't left. Still not sure what to expect but hopeful, hopeful, hopeful.

Tommy hearing shuffling from the bedroom and LUNGING for the prosecco to hide it away/cool it down, No It's Fucking Fine Tommy He Kept Reaching For You In His Sleep You Can Do This.

@beefcakekinard

tommy actually really does think the star wars prequels are better than the original trilogy because he has a deep, enduring, lifelong crush on ewan mcgregor. he will never in a million years admit this is the reason - he has a speech prepared about being doomed by fate - but he knows the truth.

tommy took one look at this in 1999 and something in his brain went clunk.

he didn't get to see velvet goldmine until years later. he has the dvd, the bluray, and the soundtrack on vinyl.

Anon asked: Buck in the Kitchen scene

EVAN BUCKLEY HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

Keep thinking about Buck's throwaway line to Eddie about (paraphrasing bc I can't remember the exact line at the moment) Tommy not broadcasting but not hiding his sexuality back in season seven and the new head canon I can't get off my mind is this dumbass golden retriever clocking Tommy in the first five minutes of meeting him, knowing and being flattered every time Tommy checked him out, and STILL not getting the point until Tommy kissed him about it.

I've written their first meeting so many times between snippets and hiatus fic and random Tumblr tags and never really explored that but it's on my brain and all I can think about is that when Tommy leaned over his shoulder to tell him about high rise fire response, Buck knew his ass was being flirted at and all he could do wag his tail bc he was so fucking thrilled that someone so cool thought he was worth hitting on.

@a-mel0n YOU SEE THE VISION

one evan buckley in a limited color palette

i know i said this in jest many times before but my kingdom for buck to get really clingy with tommy for a bit after they get back together that it becomes something they need to address... he's got a second chance in this thing he thought he lost forever, this thing that partially failed in the first place because neither were willing to either push or ask for more, this thing where tommy walked out not once but twice, so buck becomes kinda obsessed with having tommy in every possible way in every corner of his life. in classic 9-1-1 manner it gets resolved with one conversation and like, buck letting tommy hang out with his friends. or buck letting tommy hang out with his friends but tommy fondly being like "okaaay you can join us" the next episode we pretend this one instance solved buck's need to hang on like that but the important part is that in the meantime i get like, minimum 4 scenes of buck attaching himself to tommy like a koala. please.

they want each other again so bad

buck trying to come to terms with tommy leaving him, again, by repeating his own actions (and isn't that what they're both doing? he thinks bitterly. the words are different but the melody's the same sad song). when he's done baking, done talking with maddie, he collapses back into his own bed, he grabs for tommy's pillow. brings it into his arms and squeezes it, pretends it's more solid than it is. then he brings it up to his face, to smell tommy on it - and he freezes.

because it's not the same as the first time. tommy has been with him for six months, sleeping and laughing and sweating and coming in buck's bed. there's nothing of tommy in this bed except buck's memory of him.

As usual my idle thoughts have turned into another fic.

Saturday

"What are you doing Saturday?" he asks, even though Evan has been not-quite-yelling at him while Tommy tries to fly a fucking helicopter. He's been going for almost four minutes straight. Tommy's pretty certain he's listing off the things he never told Tommy he was pissed off about in reverse sequential order from "Thanks, it was fun." back. He's barely past "Basketball tickets, Tommy? Basketball? In six months, I played basketball badly with you once and then spent every Lakers game we watched elbow deep in a subreddit about moths or something!"

Evan pauses. Blinks at the question. It's the first moment Tommy's been able to hear the rotors working in at least nine and a half minutes, back before he started to argue back.

"I'm free," he says, and Tommy thinks of the first time he'd ever asked, nerves propelling him out the door with finger guns, the tapping foot all the way down the elevator while he ran the words back and forth in his head over and over again, the way he kept randomly smiling the entire drive home to grab his work bag. So you're free, he'd asked, and he hadn't understood the significance of Evan's response until days later, until he'd done his first of many runners, how I am free, meant so much more than available for dinner and a movie on Saturday at 8.