Reblogged ofdarklands
the fact that the switch 2 tech demo tutorial 'game' costs money and is digital only is insane. remember when every wii came with wii sports for free? do you remember that? i am going to hunt down the nintendo execs for sport
Reblogged probablyjustamagpie
nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations
200 Word RPGs 2024
Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.
This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.
Ackermann's Demons
A Recursive Game (200 Words Sans Title and Heading, Pro-Archival)
The Archmagus Ackermann has SUMMONED you, a foul DEMON, bound by your Name:___ and CHARGED to seek forbidden KNOWLEDGE. Occult tomes, forgotten spells, grim attracts, horrid rituals, they tempt you. Have a taste of what is on offer!
ACKERMANN'S AGGRAVATING ARMOIRE
This foul furniture has been ensorcled to inconvenience its user. Reaching into it will produce only clashing outfits. In addition, socks stored inside lose their partners, only to reappear and force their owner to go through the pain of losing them twice!
Now go! You are imbued with WILL and must pursue KNOWLEDGE. You are bound by the RULES OF DEMONS.
1. DEMONS RETURN TO HELL! When your WILL is expended your time is up. Find one last piece of KNOWLEDGE and RETURN all your KNOWLEDGE to your SUMMONER.
2. DEMONS DON'T WORK FOR NOTHING! While you still have WILL but no KNOWLEDGE, go discover! Expend a WILL to discover one piece of forbidden KNOWLEDGE.
3. DEMONS ARE LAZY! Assemble your KNOWLEDGE and destroy one piece, sacrificing it to SUMMON a new DEMON. It has the same WILL as you, takes all of your KNOWLEDGE, and obeys the RULES OF DEMONS. Expend a WILL as you await its RETURN.
Reblogged
Just to give you an idea of what archival research looks like these days, in attempting to track down the September 1988 issue of White Dwarf for a recent post, I stumbled across half a dozen DMCA takedowns from Games Workshop, a file-sharing service which no longer exists, multiple archives which inexplicably have every 1988 issue of White Dwarf except September's, and a worrying number of false positives because many periodical databases seem to be unaware that the UK and US editions of White Dwarf are different magazines, and they keep mislabelling scans of the US January 2016 issue as the UK September 1988 issue because they have the same issue number.
You wanna know where I eventually did find a correctly labelled scan of the stupid thing? In a random-ass torrent that wasn't even Games Workshop related – it was, like, a collection of Spanish-language sourcebooks for Vampire: The Masquerade, plus the September 1988 issue of White Dwarf, a Czech translation of H P Lovecraft's The Shadow over Innsmouth, and a pirated copy of Policing America: Challenges and Best Practices (9th Ed.) for some fucking reason.
Reblogged ofdarklands
RARE WHITE CROC SPOTTED IN THE WILD!!!
Reblogged
Conjure Object
Conjuration cantrip
Casting Time: 1 action Range: 60 feet Components: V, S Duration: 1 minute
You conjure a random inanimate object. This object may weigh up to ten pounds per character level; you can choose whether it appears in your empty hand, or in an unoccupied space within range. You can set a minimum and maximum weight for the conjured object in ten-pound increments, but otherwise have absolutely no control over what appears. At the end of the spell's duration, the object vanishes back to whence it came.
In addition to its more utilitarian applications, this spell can be used to deal damage by causing the conjured object to appear at least ten feet above a creature. When you do, make a ranged spell attack; on a hit, the object lands on the creature's head (or equivalent member) and deals 1d6 bludgeoning damage. A miss may be construed as the object going astray, or as an object which is not capable of dealing damage by falling on a creature being conjured, at the GM's whim.
At Higher Levels. Assuming an object of the maximum allowable weight is conjured, this spell’s damage increases by 1d6 when you reach 5th level (2d6), 11th level (3d6), and 17th level (4d6).
Reblogged mr-squiggley-poufs
I've always thought Margarita would be a beautiful name for a little girl
And her beautiful sister Cosmopolitan
naming my daughter Rum &
hold on post canceled why the fuck did my keyboard recommend this emoji to me
Rum & The Eyeless One
Reblogged
"im gay"
"im straight"
ok??? well, I am a good person. I am a powerful person. I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature. Good and evil have nothing to do with it. I understand myself. I control myself. I control everything within myself. My domain is my domain. I can lie on my back and affect the lives of those I love without moving a finger. But I would only affect them in good ways. I don't waste time on evil. I'm a good person. Is this thing on? Do you know about Jesus? Do you really know? All you know is what you've been told. Listen with your heart. Sing with your heart. You've just been singing about girls. What do you know about girls? Fuck... Why are you so tense? You've gotta start singing with love in your heart. Is this on? Adam, are you there? A pain star has entered your house, but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to touch it? It only happens once every thousand years, maybe even two thousand years. And how long is a year, really? It's almost Halloween. I haven't done shit this year. It's been a summer—it's been a summer since February, I was in Australia. God. California? Then what? June, July, August, a month in Europe. I can't even go to Ikea anymore, I've got flashbacks. Fuck! You should see the lights that I got there, I think you'd like them. I think that– I think you'd like them a lot!Isn't this where...
Reblogged ofdarklands
early risen; that's a side effect of coffee late
three o'clock at work, I keurig'd up an extra dose
ordinarily a single cup's enough to sate
but yesterday i fucked it up and had three; now morose,
I trundle through my thursday morning, washing dishes, sagged
brewing up another cup, reset from yesterday
sitting in my chair and summoning my cat (the hag)
hoping quietly that i'm not going to get filleted
ominous impending tasks, Damoclean, hang high
fraying ropes suspend them, creaking with their massive weight
carefully, I turn my gaze to dirt, ignore the sky
watching where i step, i steer the small parts of my fate